Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – The Sports Thing w/Holmberg, Hellestrae & Nash – Episode 1 (August 21, 2025)

Episode Overview

This inaugural episode of "The Sports Thing" brings together John Holmberg, Dave Nash, and former Dallas Cowboys long snapper Dale Hellestrae for an unscripted, freewheeling discussion centered on sports—especially football—plus plenty of irreverent tangents, storytelling, and a heavy dash of conspiracy theory. The trio debates the preseason’s relevance, the importance (or not) of long snappers, MVP odds, and even the alleged Satanism of Taylor Swift, all in a raucous, bantering style.

Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

1. Naming the Podcast & Introductions (02:07 – 03:15)

• The hosts riff on naming the podcast, with suggestions ranging from "This Sports Thing" to "Between the Legs with Dale."
• Holmberg jokingly calls himself a "professional jackass," Nash an "international entrepreneur," and highlights Hellestrae's NFL success.

Notable Quotes:

• "I wanted to call it the special team, because we put the special in special teams." – John Holmberg (02:56)
• "We’re all special in one way or another." – Dale Hellestrae (03:04)

2. NFL Preseason’s (Lack of) Importance (03:40 – 08:13)

• Strong consensus that preseason is almost pointless and keeps getting worse.
• Dale advocates for two preseason games, noting most roster spots are predetermined ("There’s two to three spots every season." – 04:42).
• Discussion about how risky preseason games are for established players, as injury or a bad play can lead to getting cut.

Key Segments:

• [04:20] Dale on inevitable preseason changes and player safety.
• [07:18] Dale’s story about giving up a ball in a preseason game because he “didn't want to be out there.”

Notable Quotes:

• "If you play in [the last preseason game], you’re doomed." – John Holmberg (06:29)
• "The second halves of these preseason games, it's going to be the end of a kid's dream." – Dale Hellestrae (08:19)

3. The Long Snapper Deep Dive (09:21 – 14:08)

• Holmberg argues no one knows a long snapper’s name unless they mess up; being a great long snapper means being invisible.
• The role’s changed over time—less hitting now, more specialization.
• Dale recounts brutal moments: “Philly Eagles lined up Reggie White & Jerome Brown just to knock the living crap out of you.” (10:40)
• Advice to kids: Learn to long snap for a path to the NFL and scholarships.

Notable Quotes:

• “The easiest position in football…when you can't get hit? Yes.” – Dale Hellestrae (11:01)
• "Long snappers… you never ever hear of any of them. The only time you ever would is if they're terrible." – John Holmberg (09:48)

4. Talent, Drafting & The Mental Side of Sports (15:10 – 23:23)

• How physical talent gets you in the door, but mental strength and timing determine who succeeds.
• Stories about knowing players who had more talent but never made the pros.
• Dale credits Jimmy Johnson's willingness to cut high draft picks and emphasizes psychology over raw ability.

Key Segments:

• [18:21] Dave Nash on draft investments: “It’s an investment. When they draft guys high, they want to see them get there fast.”
• [21:00] Dale on mental collapse in preseason: “You see 6'6", 320 pound dudes… a jump off sides, then not hear the play, and they’re gone.”

5. Team Sports, Stats & Overvalued Positions (23:25 – 30:31)

• Debate over value of sack stats versus holds/give-up sacks as linemen.
• Holmberg on T.J. Watt’s stats: "He didn't record a statistic the last three or four games… gets $41 million, though." (23:44)
• Discussion on how one player's numbers can be skewed because of other support roles (e.g., Micah Parsons, T.J. Watt).

Notable Quotes:

• "If I give up one sack a game… I'm cut." – Dale Hellestrae (27:34)
• “Alan Faneca didn’t have a hold in football his first eight years… that is incredible." – John Holmberg (28:08)

6. Tom Brady: Owner-Announcer Conspiracy (29:10 – 44:13)

• Holmberg hypothesizes that as a Raiders owner and Fox analyst, Tom Brady gets competitive advantages—access to production meetings, inside info, potential for cheating reminiscent of Spygate and Deflategate.
• Dale and Dave debate whether access to practices/meetings really matters, with anecdotes about how teams do or don’t gain insight.
• Examples include Patriots past cheating scandals and MLB sign stealing.

Key Segments:

• [31:04] Holmberg: "If Tom Brady is in the press box watching practice… Fox is going to give him $30 million to have him go in blind?"
• [32:03] Holmberg: Patriots consistency in low fumble rates and how that changed after Deflategate.

Notable Quotes:

• “If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” – John Holmberg (35:39)
• “Owner or announcer — not both.” – Dale Hellestrae (43:28)

7. Gambling—Mindset, Problems & Ravens Preseason Bet (48:31 – 55:22)

• Nash’s father was a bookie; he’s gambled his whole life. Realization: "You don't win money gambling… there's too much juice."
• Season betting is entertainment, not profit.
• A "sure thing": Ravens win preseason games. All agree betting on other preseason games is degenerate-level stuff.

Key Segments:

• [54:23] Dave Nash: "Winning is a habit. John Harbaugh, I think is a great coach… create a habit amongst his team."
• [55:16] Dale Hellestrae: “If you're betting preseason Bengals, Seahawks… you're a gambler. Seriously?”

8. Preseason MVP Odds – Predictions & Picks (55:26 – 63:42)

• Oddsmaker talk: Nash chooses Jordan Love as a long shot, Dale leans Mahomes or Josh Allen but ultimately picks Kyler Murray for shock value.
• Arguments about who actually gets MVP consideration (mostly QBs), why running backs (e.g., Saquon Barkley) are good value if their team overperforms.
• Extended riffing on the underrated Arizona Cardinals and surprise picks like Bo Nix.

9. Off-the-Rails: Taylor Swift, Satanism & Globalist Conspiracies (66:26 – End)

• Holmberg prompts Nash to explain his hallway claim: “Taylor Swift is a Satanist.”
• Nash: Swift and Kelsey are “globalists … trying to form a one-world government and take away our freedoms.” (67:10)
• Holmberg and Dale playfully grill Nash’s logic, lampooning the scale and plausibility.

Memorable Quotes:

• “She’s part of the globalist system that’s trying to form a one-world government and take away our freedoms…” – Dave Nash (67:14)
• "If we could get Taylor Swift on this podcast... the money we'd get!" – Dale Hellestrae (71:58)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 02:07 | John Holmberg | "My name is John Holmberg, professional jackass." | | 04:42 | Dale Hellestrae | "There’s two to three spots every season." | | 07:18 | Dale Hellestrae | "I gave the ball away. Then I started thinking… if there's a camera, that's gonna look really, really bad." | | 10:40 | Dale Hellestrae | "We were there to try and knock the living crap out of you." | | 11:01 | Dale Hellestrae | "The easiest position in football… when you can't get hit? Yes." | | 18:21 | Dave Nash | "[High draft picks]… It’s an investment." | | 27:34 | Dale Hellestrae | "If I give up one sack a game… I'm cut." | | 35:39 | John Holmberg | "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying." | | 54:23 | Dave Nash | "Winning is a habit… John Harbaugh… trying to create a habit amongst his team." | | 55:16 | Dale Hellestrae | “If you're betting preseason Bengals, Seahawks… you're a gambler. Seriously?” | | 67:14 | Dave Nash | "She's part of the globalist system... trying to form a one-world government and take away our freedoms." |

Key Episode Flow Outline

1. Podcast Title Banter & Introductions (02:07–03:15)
2. NFL Preseason – Who Cares? (03:40–08:13)
3. Long Snapper Appreciation/Obsession (09:21–14:08)
4. Physical vs Mental Talent, Draft Politics (15:10–23:23)
5. Individual Vs Team Achievements, Stat Debates (23:25–30:31)
6. Tom Brady Access Conspiracy – Owner/Announcer Conflict (29:10–44:13)
7. Gambling: Wisdom & Warnings – Ravens Lock (48:31–55:22)
8. 2025 NFL MVP Odds & Offseason Predictions (55:26–63:42)
9. Nash's Conspiracy Minute: Taylor Swift & the Satanist Globalists (66:26–end)

Tone & Style

• Loose and irreverent: Frequent ribbing, NSFW humor, mock outrage, and casual expertise define the trio’s chemistry.
• Story-driven: Many personal memories from the pros, gambling world, and radio.
• Conspiratorial (comedic): Especially in the closing segment where Nash goes full tinfoil hat.

Takeaways for Listeners

• The preseason is less about finding the best players and more about protecting investments—and for most, it's a waste.
• Special teams players (especially long snappers) are underrated, yet it’s a niche that can make an NFL career.
• In sports, mentality and timing can be as defining as raw skill; the draft is rarely as predictive as teams hope.
• The current NFL’s blend of ownership, media, and money creates unprecedented power dynamics—Tom Brady’s new dual role sparks debate.
• Gambling remains a losing long-term proposition; even seasoned bettors know it’s for fun.
• Don’t bet on preseason—unless it’s the Ravens.
• 2025 MVP picks: Jordan Love (Nash), Kyler Murray (Dale), Saquon Barkley (Holmberg).
• The closing "Nash Conspiracy Minute" is a wild parade of satire, not to be taken as reporting or advice!

For more in this off-the-rails but insightful sports chat, stay tuned to "The Sports Thing."