Homing Podcast: Skye McAlpine on Hosting, Christmas & the Myth of Perfection at Home

Host: Matt Gibberd
Guest: Skye McAlpine (cookery writer)
Date: December 11, 2025

Overview

This episode of Homing features Skye McAlpine, the celebrated cookery writer and author of The Christmas Companion, in a candid and at times moving conversation with host Matt Gibberd. Recorded in Skye’s London kitchen—eccentrically adorned with a Christmas tree in September—the discussion traverses childhood homes, family history, hosting, the joy and stress of entertaining, coping with adversity, parenting, and the meaning of home. Skye’s warmth and wisdom shine throughout as she reflects on belonging, resilience, gratitude, and the pursuit of “good enough” rather than perfection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Childhood of Contrasts & Shifting Homes

• London to Venice: Skye moved from London to Venice at age 6, speaking no Italian and attending a convent school where she acquired the language quickly ([04:14]-[05:15]).
• Feelings of Belonging: Despite spending half her adult life in London, Skye still instinctively feels that Venice is “home” ([06:58]-[07:58]). The conversation explores the idea of place attachment—how formative childhood environments shape our identities and sense of belonging.

  "Home for me still feels like Venice. I think I could live here for 40, 50 years, probably, and home still feels like Venice." — Skye ([07:01])

2. A Family of Hosts, Collectors, and Public Figures

• Hospitality at Home: Skye’s parents modelled a home always open to guests, setting the template for Skye’s own entertaining ethos ([10:35]-[11:09]).
• On Her Father, Lord Alistair McAlpine:
  • A “wild and wonderful” man, both politician and art collector, who set trends but struggled with dyslexia ([13:02]-[15:24]).
  • Their home was more about fitting around his passions than a traditional parent-child dynamic ([16:25]-[17:36]).
  • Skye learned gratitude and appreciation for what a parent can give, rather than lamenting what they can’t ([16:52]).
  • Notable story: Playing hide and seek with Margaret Thatcher, nearly causing chaos ([15:29]-[16:07]).
• The IRA Bombing of West Green: Childhood home in Hampshire was bombed, pushing the family towards Venice. Skye was largely insulated from trauma by her mother’s efforts ([20:16]-[21:31]).

3. Belonging & Outsider Syndrome

• Skye admits to never fully feeling English or Italian; identifying as an outsider wherever she is, a feeling she’s come to accept as liberating ([05:18]-[06:12]).

4. Love, Hosting, and Celebrations

• The Heart of Entertaining: Hosting is a way to rekindle positive childhood memories; she loves making birthdays and Christmases ‘over the top and exciting’ ([12:21]-[12:54]).

  "People don’t actually come to your home for the food...they come for that feeling, that happy feeling of being in a welcoming, warm space and being taken care of." — Skye ([00:34]; also [38:26])

• Kitchen as Sanctuary: Her kitchen is the epicenter of her creative and family life—“I could have a little kind of sleeping bag in there and...be fine” ([32:48]-[33:05]).

5. The Reality and Myth of Perfection

• Stress and Letting Go: The most successful gatherings are about presence and warmth, not culinary perfection. Many "failures" in hosting (like burning a roast) are inconsequential ([37:37]-[39:42]).

  “Hosting is all about your attitude… It’s a mindset. People don’t actually come to your home for the food... They come for that happy feeling.” — Skye ([38:07]-[39:16])

• Shortcut Hosting: Menu “rotas,” Deliveroo in nice plates, never apologizing as per Julia Child—ways to keep stress low and connection high ([39:49]-[41:05]).

6. Love Languages Through Food

• Inspired by ancient Greek distinctions in love, Skye’s books explore food as an act of care across many forms: family, friends, romance ([41:24]-[42:47]).

  "Every time you make something for someone, when you cook for them, even the simple act of making someone a cup of tea, it is an expression of love." — Skye ([41:53])

7. Resilience and Adversity

• Coping with Family Turmoil: Parental separation, her father’s very public final years, and her daughter’s serious childhood illness—all have tested Skye, but she’s found reserves of toughness ([47:57]-[49:56]).

  "I think we are all very tough, and we all have it in us. My parents and especially my mother... gave me that confidence to know that I have that in me." — Skye ([49:56])

• Putting One Foot in Front of the Other: She describes coping during her father’s media ordeal while caring for a newborn and an unwell mother ([50:54]-[51:33]).

8. Parenting, Blueprints & Good Enough

• Parenting Philosophy: Rejects the idea that parents “mold” children. Instead, she views herself as a loving constant, supporting her boys as they are ([63:22]-[64:29]).

  “Beings are born and then they’re kind of with you for a bit, and then they go off and do their own thing. And they’re kind of almost pretty fully formed when they're born.” — Skye ([64:29])

• Perfection is an illusion for both parenting and entertaining. The standard is “good enough,” not ‘Insta-perfect’ ([67:18]-[68:20]).

  "I'm just aspiring to be the good enough parent. And that sounds like a cop-out, but… it's more realistic. A bit like entertaining." — Skye ([67:18])

9. Rest, Routine, and Sensory Overload

• Battling Insomnia: Skye discusses seeking peace in Venice vs wired nights in noisy, overstimulating London ([53:12]-[55:34], [57:55]-[59:23]).
• Self-Care Strategies: Walks, phone calls, reading, cooking for pleasure, and audiobooks help her decompress ([56:26]-[57:35]).

10. Home: A Fluid, People-Centered Concept

• Home ultimately is about people, not places or objects—even a place destroyed can cease to be home, while a new space becomes home if it contains your loved ones ([69:02]-[69:38]).

  “Ironically, in a podcast about buildings, home is people. …As much as a building can feel like home, if that blows up tomorrow, but you’re able to be with the people that you love most in another place, that will very quickly… begin to feel like home, too.” — Skye ([69:02])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "People don’t actually come to your home for the food...they come for that feeling, that happy feeling of being in a welcoming, warm space and being taken care of." — Skye ([00:34], [38:26])
• "Home for me still feels like Venice. I think I could live here for 40, 50 years, probably, and home still feels like Venice." — Skye ([07:01])
• “Hosting is all about your attitude… it’s a mindset. People don’t actually come to your home for the food... they come for that happy feeling.” — Skye ([38:07]-[39:16])
• “Every time you make something for someone... it is an expression of love.” — Skye ([41:53])
• “I think we are all very tough, and we all have it in us. My parents and especially my mother... gave me that confidence to know that I have that in me.” — Skye ([49:56])
• “I think beings are born and then they're kind of with you for a bit, and then they go off and do their own thing. And they're kind of almost pretty fully formed when they're born.” — Skye ([64:29])
• “I'm just aspiring to be the good enough parent. That sounds like a cop-out, but… it's more realistic.” — Skye ([67:18])
• “Ironically, in a podcast about buildings, home is people... As much as a building can feel like home, if that blows up tomorrow, but you’re able to be with the people that you love most in another place, that will very quickly... begin to feel like home, too.” — Skye ([69:02])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Early childhood in London and Venice: [02:40]-[07:58]
• Family, hospitality, and identity: [10:17]-[13:12], [15:26]-[22:13]
• Parenting, marriage, and blueprints: [22:13]-[25:10], [63:07]-[68:04]
• Cooking, entertaining, and the meaning of hosting: [25:10]-[43:41], [36:19]-[41:21]
• Resilience through adversity: [47:00]-[51:59]
• Sleep, routine, and winding down: [53:03]-[61:21]
• Defining home and closing reflections: [69:02]-[70:30]

Takeaways

• Home is an emotional state, not a fixed place: The strongest sense of home is tied to people, routines, and emotional safety, more than physical spaces.
• Letting go of perfection fosters connection: Whether parenting or hosting, “good enough” is not only realistic—it’s often more meaningful.
• Gratitude, resilience, and presence: Skye exemplifies how gratitude for the everyday, resilience through hardship, and presence with others help shape happy homes and lives.

This episode offers listeners an intimate, insightful journey into the messiness and magic of home, family, and self—garnished with wisdom, vulnerability, and lots of meaningful laughter and tears.