Homing Podcast: "Wintering at Home: The Power of Rest & Ritual"

With Katherine May and host Matt Gibberd
Release Date: February 12, 2026
Podcast Theme: Exploring how our homes shape and sustain us, featuring thought leaders in art, wellbeing, and design.

Episode Overview

In this richly personal and insightful conversation, Matt Gibberd welcomes acclaimed author Katherine May, best known for her book Wintering, to discuss the profound role home plays in our ability to rest, recover, and nurture our inner lives. Together, they delve into the sensory, emotional, and ritualistic dimensions of home, considering how our personal spaces might soothe us, especially for the sensitive and neurodivergent among us. Through anecdotes, practical advice, and memorable reflections, they explore the nuances of retreat, creativity, and the deep need for personal sanctuary.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Katherine’s Early Experience of Home

• Divided sense of home as a child:
  • Felt safe and comforted in her grandparents' calm, routine-led house after her parents' divorce (03:06).
  • Later moved to a rundown council house with her mother, which was cold and unpredictable—difficult for her as an undiagnosed autistic child needing retreat, safety, and routine (04:00).

The Sensory Home as Sanctuary

• Home as crucial for recovery:
  • Katherine describes herself as a "homebody"—relies on home to reset after overwhelming external experiences due to sensory sensitivities (05:19).
  • Visual and aural chaos—bright light, clutter, hard surfaces, and loud noises—are draining, and her home is designed to absorb sound with soothing colors and soft textures (06:50, 09:19).
• The importance of control:
  • Home is the one environment she can reliably regulate, unlike unpredictable public places (08:31).
• Materials and sensory experiences:
  • Preference for soft, natural materials, aversion to scratchy textures or synthetic surfaces (41:34, 42:10).

Navigating Social Spaces as a Sensitive Person

• Boundaries and bluntness:
  • Declining or leaving overstimulating events is now a matter of self-care, and Katherine encourages honesty over politeness:
    • Notably: "It's important to voice that out loud actually." (13:00)
    • "This is not a hospitable environment for me and I won't be able to handle it." (13:00–13:20)
• The ‘behaving’ home:
  • Describes her home as "the place that...will behave itself"—one that doesn’t exhaust her (08:31).

Wintering: The Seasonal Metaphor

• Defining wintering:
  • Both a literal and metaphorical concept: the restorative, slow season for nature and for ourselves, a counterpoint to constant productivity (13:42).
  • Importance of embracing the hibernation aspect of home during winter—baking, resting, creating comforting rituals (15:08–17:54).
• Balance between retreat and re-emergence:
  • Rituals (solstice, new year) provide meaningful, gentle ways to connect socially (22:22–24:16).

Home & Ritual as Nurture for the Family

• Restorative family life:
  • Sharing family practices like baking with her son as acts of restoration and connection (18:17).
  • Importance of unstructured time and space for children to nurture creativity:
    • "Giving children unstructured time…can be one of the most generous things we do for them." (57:34)

Enchantment: Awe and Spiritual Depth in the Everyday

• Finding awe at home:
  • Enchantment lies in tuning attention to the beauty of the mundane—nature, textures, rituals within arm’s reach (24:31–26:04).
  • Learning to notice, rather than chase distant experiences: "It's all here for you on your back doorstep every day, but you actually need to train yourself to find it." (24:31)

Neurodiversity & Self-Understanding

• Late diagnosis reflections:
  • Felt alien as a child, struggled with unexplainable exhaustion and misattuned environments; diagnosis helped reframe those challenges (35:12, 36:56).
• Making home truly personal:
  • Reclaiming the right to tailor home, after years of instinct being overridden by others:
    • "Your home is your domain. It's the one place in the world that you get some agency over and let that be the thing you need." (67:10)

Practical Strategies for a Supportive Home

• Lighting:
  • Prefers low light, lamps, candlelight; avoids overhead pendants and harsh fluorescents (39:35–41:15).
    • "Try having lamps instead of a pendant light. See if that helps you... walk about in the dark... It's yours." (67:10, 00:00)
• Personal and shared space:
  • The importance of having a space of one’s own, especially as a writer and introvert (48:57).
  • Navigating different family sensory needs through compromise—accepting discord in volume, tidiness, or textures (46:06–47:43).
• Creative and restful routines:
  • Schedules include creative ‘input’ (reading, exhibitions, conversations) as well as output, making space for play and spontaneity (54:48–57:00).

Music, Acoustics, and Environmental Cues

• Sound environment:
  • Uses natural white noise at bedtime, keeps sound-absorbing materials like books around (43:34, 53:12).
  • Music is mood-dependent; energizing at times, exhausting at others (48:15).

Children & Boredom: Cultivating Creativity

• Against over-scheduling:
  • Advocates for downtime, boredom, and unsupervised exploration as essential childhood ingredients for creativity and resilience (57:34–60:02).
  • "I just believe in giving them space even when that seems unproductive sometimes to us as outside viewers." (57:34)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “A home is an extension of a body, and your body should feel at home in it. That’s not only visual, but it’s about all of the senses.” – Katherine May (00:00, 69:01)
• "I was an undiagnosed autistic child...there was no language for how important it was for me to have a place of retreat from the outside world and a place that felt safe and predictable and fundamentally secure." – Katherine May (03:06–05:08)
• "It's all here for you on your back doorstep every day, but you actually need to train yourself to find it." – Katherine May (26:04)
• “It's important to voice that out loud...‘I'm so sorry, this is not a hospitable environment for me and I won't be able to handle it.’” – Katherine May (13:00)
• "Giving children unstructured time and space can be one of the most generous things we do for them." – Matt Gibberd paraphrasing theme (57:34)
• "Try having lamps instead of a pendant light. See if that helps you. Try walking about in the dark. I find it delightful, personally. It's yours." – Katherine May (00:00, 67:10)
• "Let your home be an extension of your sensory realm." – Katherine May (00:00, 69:01)
• "Forget about what you see on Instagram... It should be the outward expression of yourself." – Matt Gibberd (68:36)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:06] – Childhood homes and impact of safety, routine, and sensory environment
• [05:19] – Sensory overwhelm and home as restorative space
• [13:42] – The concept of wintering: rest as resilience
• [18:17] – Baking as restorative family ritual
• [24:31] – The idea of “Enchantment” and cultivating awe at home
• [35:12] – Autism, alienation, and the reframing power of diagnosis
• [39:35] – Lighting preferences, cave-like comfort
• [41:34] – Textures, natural materials, and rejecting discomfort
• [48:57] – Personal space, solitude, and family negotiation
• [54:48] – Routines for creativity
• [57:34] – The necessity of unstructured time for children
• [67:10] – Final practical advice for sensitive or neurodivergent listeners

Memorable Moments

• The repeated theme of "permission": permission to retreat, to craft a home by instinct, to say no—and how many sensitive or neurodivergent people need to reclaim that right after childhoods of being told otherwise.
• Light-hearted anecdotes about family "lightism," the war against polystyrene, and negotiating music volume with spouses.
• The validation of the need for solitude, rest, and slow rhythms as not just acceptable but essential for creativity and wellbeing.
• A shared exasperation at social conventions that don’t serve everyone—"we are allowed to back down on being at a disco all the time."

Practical Takeaways

• Make your home personal: Design for your own sensory and emotional needs—not for social media, not for guests.
• Experiment: Test different light sources, textures, and rituals to find what genuinely calms you.
• Communicate boundaries: Be assertive about what does and doesn’t work for you in social and sensory terms.
• Lean into rest: Don’t apologize for needing downtime; see it as essential, not a luxury.
• Give (and allow yourself) space: Unstructured time, both for adults and children, is a gateway to genuine creativity.
• See the wonder in the everyday: Finding awe and enchantment doesn’t require travel—just attentive presence.

Closing Reflection

Katherine May’s gentle wisdom and practical honesty offer a powerful argument for designing our homes—and our routines—as sanctuaries for rest, creativity, and self-acceptance. Whether you’re sensitive, introverted, neurodivergent, or simply weary, permission to nest, restore, and honor your true rhythms at home might be the most generous and transformative gift you can give yourself.