Alex Earl (63:38)
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Like just because I didn't really know what to do and I was like, oh, we're hanging out. But I really didn't want to date. But I also like didn't care to see anyone else. So I was like, I was confusing myself. And then that's with Braxton is we were talking for nine months before we officially were, like, label on it. Dating, committed. And partially, that was my fault because I had a little bit of just. I was in a little bit of denial. I was like, I don't really like him. Or not that I don't really like him. I was like, I don't really want a boyfriend. Like, I just. I'm not gonna do this. Like, I really don't want a boyfriend. I was so dead set on, like, I don't want a boyfriend. And then I was hanging out with him every day and whatever. And honestly, with Braxton, that was the first time that I just, like, told him. I was like, I really like hanging out with you. I was like, I'm just kind of stressed about, like, this label or I don't know why. I feel like it's gonna, like, mentally stress me out or, like, change something in my mind, and I don't want it to, like, things are going so well. And he was like, okay, well, you just let me know, like, when you're ready, I'm here. Like, I like hanging out with you. Like, we'll just continue hanging out, and if it works out. If it works out. If it doesn't, it doesn't. And I think, like, me getting that off my chest and saying that to him alleviated so much stress. Because right now, you're probably just so worried, like, oh, my God, like, whatever. And it's probably getting in your head and messing with you, figuring out if you actually, like, really, really like this guy or do want to be with him or don't want to be with him. So I would just let him know, like, where your head is at. It's always better to just be open and honest is what I've learned. And I think if he really likes you and likes hanging out with you, and, I mean, I don't know, like, what really the rush is to date if someone isn't ready, besides the fact of it can feel to the other person, like, ooh, like, they don't like me. Because I guess as girls, like, we've seen it on the other end, too, where guys, like, I don't want to date or whatever, but, like, I think, you know, you could clarify, like, are you seeing other people or not? Or is it just, like, the label that's stressing you out? Because, like, personally, me, I was in therapy. There was some personal stuff that I had to work through, and he just kind of let me take that time and figure it out for Myself, and he was very understanding of that. So I would say to you, whatever your personal thing is, and maybe it's just that, like, you don't know each other that well yet. Because I do think that there's some guys that want to rush into a relationship, and it's just. I kind of think it's like an immature thing to do is like, I don't know. There's some people that you know each other for, like, a week or two, and then you start dating, which is also fine. But that was just not really my speed or how I wanted to, like, go about things. I was like, I would rather, like, really get to know this person before, like, committing to dating someone. Because I think when you're, like, really closed off to someone, it's. It's an important, special thing. I didn't want to just date someone just to say, like, I was dating someone, you know, Like, I want to date someone that I could truly, like, see myself being with for, you know, a long amount of time or not breaking up ever, you know? So I would say just be honest with him. And I think if it's only been, like, a month or so of you hanging out, I feel like that's, like, reasonable for you to be like, I just, like, want to keep hanging out, getting to know each other. Like, I don't want to commit to anything yet. If you're more in the range of. It's leaning, like, five, six months. I think that's a point where, like, he probably is like, why have we not, like, solidified this yet? And I think if that's something that stresses you out for whatever personal reason, you just have to tell him and be honest and let him know. And I think honesty is the best policy. It's always going to go over better. You're always going to feel better, and then you don't have to, like, be worried and feel guilty of, like, oh, my God, I don't know what he's thinking. What is your opinion on men in a relationship watching only fans? Should they be doing that slash allowed? Is it right for me and my friends to be bothered by this? Okay, I don't know if this is a hot take, but this is what. Alex would do that for me. I think only fans is different than, like, porn, which I don't. How have we said that word on here so many times this episode? I just feel like if you're, like, subscribing to, like, one person and, like, personally paying to watch one person, like, that feels wrong and to Me, like, I would just. I would not allow that or like that. So I don't know. I don't know if it's, like, I think it's relationships. It's. Go with whatever you feel with. If that's bothering you, then it's bothering you. And, you know, you don't need to, like, have this whole big justification, like, for me, if I found out that Braxton was subscribed to OnlyFans, like, I would punch him in the face and break up with him. But that's just me, you know? So, yeah, do whatever makes you feel good. Hey, Alex, what would you do if you really didn't want to live with your best friend after college, but don't want to hurt her feelings by saying no to her? I love her. We're just better as friends than roommates. Oh, my God. The roommate thing is always so tricky. Like, that's just never. It's never gonna be easy conversation. I'm not gonna lie. It's never gonna be fun. It's. It's never a good feeling when you, like, you don't want to live with someone and they want to live with you, and you're like, But I feel like if this is your best friend and this is a true best friend, then you can be honest with her. And I always say, like, my best friends, like, we can on each other. We tell each other our flaws, and, like, at the end of, we're like sisters. You know what I mean? Like, at the end of the day, we're not gonna get hurt. And I did have. So I had this happen with some friends after college where they kind of went through the same thing of, like. Like, maybe they live together in college, but they didn't live together after college. And it's like, they're best friends. And I will say these girls are still best friends, but they did have to go through that hard part of having that honest conversation of, like, hey, I love you so much, but I really don't think that we would be good roommates. Like, personally, this is a decision for me. I don't want to live together. Has nothing to do. Well, I mean, I guess it does have to do with them, but, like, I would just be honest. Like, maybe they're a disaster and a mess. Like, I would be completely understanding if Chris and was like, hey, I don't want to live with someone who keeps their room. Like, a tornado just went off in there. I'd be like, that's so fair, and you definitely shouldn't live with me. Then because that's how my room is at all states and all times. The living room, I try to keep a little bit better, but it's just like me, clutter and a mess follows. So, you know what? If she said that to me, I would be like, all right, let's check myself. And I would know that that is okay. And she does not need to live with me if that is not what she's looking for.
