Get Real With Me | Jake Shane

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Get Real With Me | Jake Shane"

Podcast: Hot Mess
Host: Alix Earle
Guest: Jake Shane
Date: January 15, 2026

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Overview

In this lively, unfiltered episode of "Hot Mess," host Alix Earle debuts her new segment “Get Real With Me,” inviting listeners into an intimate, playful space where she and guests get ready together—literally. Joining Alix today is one of her best friends, content creator Jake Shane. Together, they mix drinks, share stories (and secrets), play spontaneous games, reflect on fashion mishaps, and get candid about life’s little insecurities—all while sharing laughs and beauty products in Alix’s “getting ready dream house.” The vibe is casual and hilarious, making listeners feel like they’re hanging out with two close friends before a night out.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene & Pregame Rituals

• Alix introduces her “getting ready” suite as a new recurring segment (00:30).
• Jake and Alix slip into robes, whip up morning cocktails, and debate the merits of tequila versus vodka (01:32–02:24).
• The two banter about their different pregame energies, with Jake laughing:

  "I think I'm just a miserable... Am I a miserable person to be [around]? You're lying... Yes, I am." (02:47, Jake)

• Alix confesses that Jake is not a pregame “vibe”—he’s too stressed about logistics, but she appreciates him anyway (02:57, Alix).

2. Friendship, Crazy Nights Out & FOMO

• Sharing their wildest nights, including a memorable Art Basel experience (04:20–04:31).
• Jake reminisces about a night in New York—a date, a make-out, then rallying to meet friends until 7 am:

  "You know when you make out with someone that you've, like, wanted to make out with and you're, like, feeling super cool, good about yourself?" (06:23, Jake)

• Both reflect on how their FOMO (fear of missing out) has lessened as they’ve matured:

  “I think once I became comfortable in my living space, I stopped getting fomo.” (06:48, Jake)

3. Makeup, Outfits & Style Insecurities

• Jake admits he rarely gets ‘ready,’ while Alix guides him through her beauty routine (07:11–07:20).
• A nostalgic moment about when Alix first did Jake’s makeup for a trip to Erewhon (07:48).
• Discussing fashion anxiety:

  "Pants always look bad on me... picking out my outfit is just the worst part of the night for me." (09:33, Jake)

• Alix relates:

  “No matter how much [I have], I feel like I have nothing.” (10:10, Alix)

4. Fashion Experiments & “Boob Gate”

• Alix talks about trying new styles and getting roasted, especially for her “all black, Matrix” Super Bowl look (10:18–10:37).
• The duo plays “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with past looks, recalling mishaps like Jake’s persistent eyeliner from a drag outfit and Alix’s infamous red carpet “Boob Gate” (11:05–12:20).
• Jake recounts his favorite photo, taken after a sleepless, wild night and a dramatic Uber experience:

  "...my Uber driver helped put [my bow tie] on, 'cause I couldn't. And I started like, tearing up and he was like, ‘It's okay. Like, don't worry.’" (13:01, Jake)

5. Uber Stories & Personal Revelations

• Jake shares hilarious and harrowing Uber stories: from getting kicked out for asking to turn down the volume to car accidents (13:19–13:55).
• Both joke about friends hooking up with Uber drivers, prompting more laughter over ‘Uber Driver Gate’ (14:07–14:48).

6. Getting Real: Rapid-Fire Questions & Vulnerabilities

• Alix and Jake ask each other revealing questions from Alix’s "magic cake box":
  • Would they rather have their bank account drained or all texts released?

    "Drain my bank account... No, no, no, no, no." (17:46, Jake)

  • Craziest thing they’ve seen each other do (18:31–19:06).
  • Their own biggest red flags:

    "Probably that I have really bad attachment issues..." (19:16, Jake)
    "Maybe my commitment issues..." (19:40, Alix)

  • What they wish people noticed about them:

    "How small my ears are." (20:03, Jake)

  • Stories of going through (and being caught going through) others’ phones, and group chat drama (20:33–21:24).
  • Personal habits and quirks, such as ignoring teeth-brushing if tired—except after popcorn due to Jake’s “OCD rule” (30:43–31:02).

7. Games & Playful Challenges

• The "Camera Rolls" game: random phone photo scrolling while blindfolded leads to stories from touring, embarrassing Governor’s Ball photos, and a college pool party pic (22:59–25:33).
• Alix makes Jake apply red lipstick to her while wearing disorienting goggles and answering rapid-fire questions about preferences—resulting in lipstick chaos and hilarity (27:22–29:43).

8. Beauty Treatments – The Extreme and the Odd

• Jake describes unusual beauty treatments: “ear seeds,” NAD IV drips, and more (31:18–31:43).
• Alix confesses her love of eating cold soup out of a can—a divisive favorite (31:54–32:01).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You make everything better. But I will say pre games, you’re not like a vibe.”

  • Alix Earle, teasing Jake about his pregame stress (02:57)

• “Drain my bank account. Drain it. I’ll figure it out. Like, I’m scrappy… No, no, no, no, no.”

  • Jake, on choosing between losing all his money or releasing every text (17:46)

• “How small my ears are... Once you notice it, you can’t unsee it.”

  • Jake, in a comically sincere moment (20:03–20:14)

• "My Uber driver helped put [my bow tie] on… and I started tearing up and he was like, ‘It's okay. Like, don't worry.’”

  • Jake, recounting a chaotic yet tender night out (13:01)

• "I dressed up as her for Halloween in sixth grade and walked around town and everyone was super confused."

  • Jake, on dressing as Annie, sparking nostalgia and laughter (15:18–15:30)

• "No, I actually tried... I'm actually proud of you that you got it in the center of this face."

  • Alix, after Jake’s disoriented red lipstick attempt (29:43–29:49)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:30: Alix introduces “Get Real With Me” and setup with Jake
• 02:47: Jake admits to being a “miserable pre-gamer”
• 04:20: Art Basel and worst nights out
• 06:48: FOMO conversation and friendship maturity
• 07:48: First makeup memory at Erewhon
• 09:33: Pants/outfit anxiety
• 11:05–12:20: “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with fashion looks & “Boob Gate”
• 13:01: Emotional Uber and bow tie story
• 17:46: “Drain my bank account” quote
• 19:16: Jake’s attachment red flag
• 22:59: Camera roll blind scroll game
• 27:22: Red lipstick challenge with goggles & rapid-fire questions
• 31:18: Wild beauty treatments

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Final Thoughts & Episode Feel

Alix and Jake’s chaotic energy, willingness to be authentic, and sharp (but kind) humor make this episode a standout hangout session. Themes of vulnerability, nostalgia, and friendship thread through the laughter and banter, providing both relatable moments and lighthearted escapism for fans. The “Get Real With Me” segment promises more candid, behind-the-scenes fun from Alix and future guests—especially for listeners who love a little chaos in their beauty routine.

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End of Content Summary

Transcript

[A]

Oh, such a clutch off season pickup, Dave.

[B]

I was worried we'd bring back the same team.

[C]

I meant those blackout motorized shades.

[B]

Lines.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds.

[C]

Hard to install?

[B]

No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some from my mom. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and.

[A]

Install hall of fame, son.

[B]

They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world.

[A]

Blinds.com is the goat.

[C]

Visit blinds.com now for up to 45%.

[A]

Off site wide plus a free professional measure.

[C]

Rules and restrictions apply.

[D]

Welcome to Get Real with Me. This is my little getting ready dream house that we've built in here. And this is gonna be a fun new segment because you guys know I love getting ready. And I've taken you guys through so many different get ready with me's from college bedroom to Coachella to Dancing with the Stars. And I just wanted to create a fun little segment where I can bring on some of my favorite people and we can get ready together. So this is more like grab a drink, grab a snack, have some coffee, girl chat. Get real with Me. Today we are having one of my best friends. Jake, Shane. Who is it?

[B]

Yay.

[D]

Welcome to the get Ready with Me.

[A]

Oh, I love it. This is gorgeous.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

Oh, this is amazing.

[D]

Do you want a robe?

[A]

I do want a robe.

[D]

Okay. Welcome.

[A]

Oh, thanks. These robes feel so comfortable. Wow.

[D]

Now the party's getting started.

[A]

I'm so excited. And you have every product that I used to get ready. It's like, you knew I was coming.

[D]

It's like. I know. When's the last time you got ready, Jake?

[A]

Probably a few weeks ago. Not for a while. I don't get ready very often.

[D]

Yeah, well, we're gonna get ready today. I think we need to start with a drink. Good morning. I can smell the tequila.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Okay. Wait, can you help me? This is.

[A]

Yeah, I was like, where do you want me to.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Sorry. Oh, Jesus, it is heavy.

[D]

Alice, let me move my cake. Okay, so you want vodka?

[A]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[D]

Vodka. I'm gonna do tequila.

[A]

All right, which one's tequila? Which one's vodka? I don't know. All right, let's smell tequila. That is tequila.

[D]

Yeah. Okay, that's fine.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I can't believe you don't drink tequila.

[A]

I know. You know, there was someone. I'll tell you who it was after this one said to me, when I. Oh, my God.

[D]

How do we do One ice cube at a time.

[A]

Like, how else do we do it?

[D]

This is kind of like pre gaming with you in real life.

[A]

I. I am. I've decided. I think I'm just a miserable. Am I a miserable person to be? You're lying. You're lying. Yes, I am.

[D]

You make everything better. But I will say pre games, you're not like a vibe. You're just always stressed about where we're going or what we're doing.

[A]

I know.

[D]

Well, wait, did you do it already?

[A]

I just poured it in.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Sorry.

[D]

Good morning.

[A]

Good morning.

[D]

I need a drink.

[A]

Honestly, I think I need a drink too. Really takes the edge off. I'm like, at that age where I'm like. It like, does take the edge off.

[D]

I also have just started to understand that. Or like a glass of wine where I'm like, wow.

[A]

Like, I feel relaxed. I feel good.

[D]

I feel good too.

[A]

I really love this room. It, like, makes me want to live in here. I was not saying this makes me.

[D]

Want to, like, anywhere I'll ever live, I think.

[A]

I don't know if that's true.

[D]

Have you seen my bathroom?

[A]

Yeah, it's nice.

[D]

It is, but it's not pink.

[A]

Do you dream of, like, a pink house?

[D]

No, but now I do.

[A]

Okay, cool. Well, cheers.

[D]

Okay, eyes. Wait, I'm stir.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Eyes.

[A]

Eyes. Mm. That's what raspberry rose tastes like.

[D]

Are you a fake friend?

[A]

Wait, this is amazing.

[D]

That looks a real poppy.

[A]

No, I. I half.

[D]

Okay, it's giving fake friends. Let's move on. Do we have any good stories pre gaming together?

[A]

We don't have, like, a crazy pre game story. We've had crazy nights.

[D]

Yes, we have.

[A]

Art.

[D]

Basil, that was probably the worst night of my life. You've seen me at my worst, that's for sure.

[A]

You know, but I didn't think that was that bad. I thought it was kind of funny. Are you able to say what it was?

[D]

I don't know. Can I say it?

[A]

I mean, it's really like the stuff. I always get shocked by the stuff you do say and stuff you're like, I don't think I should.

[D]

Really.

[A]

I'm like, I don't think that's that bad.

[D]

Tell me. For your perfect pregame, you were to pick one friend, one famous person, and one fictional character. So, like a movie.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Or a TV show.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

It would be your perfect pregame.

[A]

My perfect pregame. Probably Peyton. Like, she really just, like, gets it going. Probably Peyton, a famous person. Probably, like, I think Madeleine Cline would, like, really get the vibes up. Like, she's really good vibes. Like, really fun, really good vibes.

[D]

Well, where is she? Let's get her in here.

[A]

I know. Where is she? I think she's probably filming, but she per. Peyton. Cause they give me, like, similar vibes and then a fictional character. Hold on, I'm thinking. I'm trying to think of, like, a show I would watch that I'd be like. They would be so fun to pregame with.

[D]

What about that movie Girls? You always talk about that.

[A]

What'd you just say? That movie Girls. Shoshana. Shoshana I'd pregame with. Or maybe Marnie. Okay, what about you?

[D]

I don't know my answer. Okay, cool. Well, I would pick. I don't know. I'm interviewing you.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[D]

Have you had any fun nights out recently?

[A]

Yeah, I had a really fun night out the other night in New York, which, you know how I feel about New York sometimes. But I went.

[D]

I hate New York.

[A]

I don't hate it. I grew up there. I just don't love it. I went on a date with a guy and then we hooked up, and then I do.

[D]

You didn't call me this.

[A]

Did I feel like I did tell you this. Oh, no, maybe I didn't. You were in Dancing World. You didn't tell me you were in Dancing World. I hooked up with this guy and then all my friends were out, so I left his apartment and still went out. And, you know, like, after you hook up with someone, after not hooking up with someone. I didn't have sex with him.

[D]

Okay, sorry. Like, I'm just thinking, like, a lot to get back up and go out.

[A]

No, I. But we, like, hooked up. We made out, and then I was like, you know when you, like, make out with someone that you've, like, wanted to make out with and you're, like, feeling super cool, good about yourself?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was like, I feel great. Like, I'm gonna. Can't wait to go meet my friends out now. So I went to go meet my friends out and we stayed out till.

[D]

7Am well, that's fun.

[A]

Yeah, it was really fun. It was actually amazing.

[D]

I'm happy you went back out.

[A]

Thanks.

[D]

Do you get fomo?

[A]

I used to. Really bad. And I don't anymore.

[D]

I was gonna say, I don't think you do.

[A]

I don't. I do sometimes. I actually. I don't. I don't get fomo. Okay, well, I don't know why I don't anymore. I Think once I became comfortable in my living space, I stopped getting fomo.

[D]

I think mine's gotten less bad.

[A]

You used to have horrendous fomo.

[D]

I did.

[A]

You don't have it anymore.

[D]

I don't think I do.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

As much.

[A]

Look at us.

[D]

We're kind of maturing.

[A]

We kind of are.

[D]

What did you bring to get ready?

[A]

Well, I. Okay, so I brought this house labs stuff to put on my cuts that I put here. I think I start with this. Right? Should I start?

[D]

You should do your skincare first. I feel.

[A]

Oh, okay. So I'm telling you, I don't get ready very often.

[D]

Well, I'm gonna do my. I'm gonna do my moisturizer.

[A]

Moisturizer first. Okay.

[D]

That's what I start. I did my eyes. I just didn't do. Really?

[A]

If I had color correcting moisturizer, do I use that first?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Because I have really rosy skin.

[D]

Me too. Look at my skin. It matches the wall.

[A]

Well. Do you know if you put green moisturizer on it, like, evens it out?

[D]

The way you rub is very.

[A]

I know. Oh.

[D]

Do you remember when we first.

[A]

Met and I made you do my makeup?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

I did Jake's makeup to go to Erewhon.

[A]

Life was so simple back then.

[D]

What's complicated now?

[A]

I guess nothing. Fatter.

[D]

No, Jake, you're ripped my for your page. Is that hot sick naked? Yes, that naked photo of you.

[A]

I'm really feeling bloated from my travels. And you know when you feel really bloated and then, like, your whole body starts to feel heavy?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That's, like, how I feel. Ugh. Makeup is magic. It makes going out so much more fun.

[D]

It does.

[A]

You're like, oh, well, I can go get ready now.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, I had all my gay friends over, and we had, like, a big gay weekend. And, like, we all got ready in the same.

[D]

When. Like, when are you doing all these things that I'm not knowing about?

[A]

I think you were like. I don't know where you were, but it was like, me, Will, Travis, Charlie, and we got all got ready to get. Or me and Travis got ready together, and we were like, oh, my God, this must be what girls feel like all the time. Like, we were having so much fun.

[D]

It is fun.

[A]

We were playing music.

[D]

Do you like picking out your outfit to go out or not?

[A]

No, that's my. I hate it more than anything. I always feel more uncomfortable than I thought I would. Do you like picking out your outfit to go out?

[D]

I'm like, incap. Is incapable a word you're really good at?

[A]

Makeup is incapable a word? Is Inca. Yes.

[D]

I'm telling you, I haven't had much sleep.

[A]

Incapable. Is it a word Now I'm, like, questioning myself.

[D]

No, I know, but, you know when.

[A]

You say things, is it uncapable? Uh, it's incapable. Yeah. I'm incapable of this.

[D]

Yeah. I just. You know when you say something and then you think too much about it.

[A]

And you're like, yeah, that's.

[D]

Well, anyhow, I'm incapable of putting together an outfit. If it's, like, a dress or a set, I'm good to go. But if it's, like, a top and jeans, like, I've been never getting ready to come.

[A]

Pants always look bad on me. Well, I don't know what else I'm wearing, I guess, but they always look bad on me, and I always get uncomfortable trying them on, and I'm always miserable doing. So, no, picking out my outfit is just the worst part of the night for me.

[D]

Do you ever get worried about, like, what people are gonna think of your outfits?

[A]

No. Like. Well, I guess that's always, like, the underlying thing. I hate when I, like, put. Try something on, and it looks bad, and then I'm, like, screwed. And the feeling of being like, I have no clothes is the work is just a horrible, horrendous feeling.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, why do I have no clothes? And then it's like, you start to get really frustrated because you're like, where are all my clothes that I always wear?

[D]

That's how I always feel is I'm like, no matter how much.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I have nothing.

[D]

They're gone. Can we take another drink?

[A]

Yeah. Ice. Mm.

[D]

Do you remember, like, when I tried to experiment with my style this year, and, like, I got roasted for my super bowl look? The all black one?

[A]

I like when you experiment with your style.

[D]

Do you ever experiment?

[A]

No.

[D]

Really?

[A]

No. I try to, and it just, like. It doesn't. I'm not an experimental fashion person. What's your super bowl look? And when did people shit on you for that?

[D]

That all black, like, Matrix look? And they were like, girl, where are you going? What's going on here? Why is everyone acting weird towards me?

[A]

Wait, I liked that.

[D]

Okay, well, we're gonna play a game. Fuck Mary Kill.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

With looks.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay. So I'm gonna give you one look at a time.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And you're gonna look, but you're not gonna get to see all three. Just one. And you're gonna have to go for it.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay. So for someone who doesn't experiment with their style, this is tap full.

[A]

You know, that eyeliner didn't come off for days. And I filmed a Kraft Mac and cheese ad the following day that took 12 hours. And I had black eyeliner on the entire day.

[D]

What do I do?

[A]

And they were like, are you okay? I was like, no. I dressed up in chapel row in drag.

[D]

Fuck.

[A]

Fuck.

[D]

Mary Kill.

[A]

No, right now, without knowing what's next. Fuck. I don't want to like, wear that every day. But like, I. Fuck it. Like, I think, like, I like, you know, people loved that outfit. Like, you know.

[D]

Aww, Jake.

[A]

It was so vulnerable. Like, honestly, like that. I can't even look at it anymore.

[D]

Especially the gloves. Like, it just doesn't like, look.

[A]

And my arm was like flapping. Like, I just was not in my best shape. Oh, next. Next.

[D]

Okay, Okay, I know what you're gonna say to this one.

[A]

Is it boob gate? What is it? Let me see.

[D]

I spring boob gate.

[B]

Good.

[D]

Can we talk about boob gate for a second?

[A]

Yeah. When I had breasts on the red carpet, how could I ever. I forget?

[D]

You didn't have breasts.

[A]

And then we went out that night and.

[D]

Okay, that was also. We were on two different vibes. You were dressed like, pretty casual, and I wore a gown as a.

[A]

Well, you. Everybody else was wearing what you were wearing.

[D]

No, but I looked ridiculous.

[A]

No, I thought you looked good.

[D]

I did not.

[A]

I always see that photo of us. Always. I always see that photo of us.

[D]

Does boob gate still haunt you?

[A]

Oh, yes, it does. But like, it's okay. So this is an opening. And I actually am like, curious as to how people open this in general now.

[D]

Yeah, can you do. Let me see.

[A]

Whatever. Let me see this other outfit that you have going on. Oh, Mary. Yeah, Mary.

[D]

He's married.

[A]

Okay. So I went out the night before until. And I fell asleep at 7am the night before. I was really, really, really fucked up. Like, really fucked up. I Woke up at 7, got invited to that. That day. And literally, like ran home, got an IV so I would have like, color in my face. I was like, pale. I was like really gray in the face. And I ran to a store, bought a bow tie. Cause I didn't have a bow tie. My Uber driver helped put it on. Cause I couldn't. And I started like, tearing up and he was like, it's okay. Like, don't worry. And then, like, eventually I got it and I took that photo and it's My favorite photo of me.

[D]

It's the best photo I've ever seen of anyone in my life.

[A]

Like, let me look at this.

[D]

Do you have any other crazy Uber driver stories?

[A]

Yeah. One time I asked him to, like, turn down the volume and he said, you know what? Just get out. And drove to the side of the road and just like, get out. And I said, okay. And I was in, like, it was like the highway. Then one time I got into an Uber car accident that was crazy. I was hysterically sobbing. I was wearing flip flops and ran out with one flip flop on. Then my Uber got rear ended the other day. But he was really nice about it. It wasn't his fault. And then. And I wasn't wearing a seatbelt, so it could have been bad.

[D]

You have to wear a seatbelt always.

[A]

But I know all of my Uber drivers now. Like, I know them very well. Like, the one I'm very close with, his name is Q. And we, like, see each other all the time. I have his number. Yes? Yes.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Well, did I ever tell you when my friend got with the Uber driver?

[A]

No. Who? Shut up. When?

[D]

Of course, I wasn't.

[A]

Wait, When?

[D]

I don't know. She left the bar alone one night and then she said, take another lap.

[A]

I've had Uber drivers where I've been looking at them like I would. Did she enjoy it? Did she enjoy herself?

[D]

You know what? She did until the next morning. Then she did it.

[A]

Wait, what'd she say?

[D]

He just was sending her the weirdest photos and still harasses her and talks.

[A]

Still to this day. Why didn't she block the numbers?

[D]

Super driver gate.

[A]

Okay. Was this in college?

[D]

No, this was like this past year.

[A]

Got it. Totally, totally, totally.

[D]

Anywho, third look.

[A]

So I guess. Kill. I don't know. This isn't working. How do you put your eye drops in Elmar? Okay, cool. I'm gonna have to. Don't do it at the end. Just kidding. Show me the look. Show me the look. Show me the look.

[D]

Annie.

[A]

Kill, I guess. Kill. Kill.

[D]

What do you think about her?

[A]

I dressed up as her for Halloween. My sixth grade of middle school and walked around the town and everyone was super confused.

[D]

This wasn't Halloween.

[A]

No, that was Halloween.

[D]

Oh. Sometimes I'm not a good listener.

[A]

I dressed up as her for Halloween.

[D]

I didn't miss that.

[A]

No. I think you're a great listener. I'm a horrible listener.

[D]

No, I think you're good. That's your job. Okay, well, while we continue getting ready, I figured we could Ask each other some questions. Let me just. Okay, move this. I'm gonna take a little shot.

[A]

Okay. Can you give me a shot? I'll take a shot too. Fucking Christ. Okay. Okay, ready? So what should we cheers to? Let's cheers to you staying in la.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And a new era for you.

[D]

Yes. And you. Let's cheers to Jake.

[A]

Okay. Cheers to me. Do you ever smoke weed?

[D]

Uh, never. Do you know the first time I did, I was at a party. I guess. Like all these guys had this bong and I was like.

[A]

Your first time you smoked weed was with a bong?

[D]

Oh, yeah, Just wait. And I was trying to be cool and be like, woohoo, whatever. And all these guys had it and it was like our friend's like older brother, so it was like really, really cool and really important that I like.

[A]

Was like, yep, I'm gonna do this. How old were you?

[D]

I took the bong and I put my mouth around it. And I think I left the party and went home and cried.

[A]

One time I tried to smoke a cigarette and I smoked it out of the wrong side, so. And everyone said, that's the wrong side. And I was 22 years old.

[D]

So while we're continuing to get ready my magic cake box, I have some questions. We can ask each other the questions. Okay, so this will be fun.

[A]

Are you a sweets person or a savory person?

[D]

You know, I've never been a sweets person lately.

[A]

Me too. Like, me too.

[D]

Every single night.

[A]

Me too.

[D]

I almost ate this.

[A]

I know. I was looking at this and I never thought cake looked good. And I was like, this kind of looks good.

[D]

I think it was dancing did it for me. I don't know what, but I have started. Maybe it's cause we're turning 25.

[A]

Well, you know, your taste buds change.

[D]

And your brain develops.

[A]

Ooh, I don't like that.

[D]

Would you rather have your bank account drained or all your texts released?

[A]

Oh my God. My bank account drained or every text I've ever sent released? Like ever, ever, ever?

[D]

Like, it's just public record. Like a dictionary.

[A]

Drain my bank account. Drain it. I'll figure it out. Like, I'm scrappy. Like, I'll work. I'll figure it out. Like, I like. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Ever. Ev. What would you do?

[D]

I would probably let my texts get really?

[A]

No, you wouldn't.

[D]

I'm not like lying on any. I'm not murdering people I get, right?

[A]

No, for sure.

[D]

But like, what are you doing?

[A]

Like, would you just be like, sorry, in advance, everyone.

[D]

Like, I would have to be like, hey, my text got released. This is crazy. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, I'd rather trade my bank account.

[D]

Okay, well, that's a little scary. Do you have nothing more to do?

[A]

What? Well, I'm gonna take these off and then I'm gonna put my bronzer on.

[D]

Cool.

[A]

Remember when you sold out the drunk elephant bronzer?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the craziest thing you've seen one another do? What's the craziest thing you've seen?

[D]

I feel like when we went out and Key West.

[A]

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

[B]

No.

[A]

No. Okay, no. But yes.

[D]

And you know what I think your answer is for me.

[A]

Yep. That. No, that wasn't even that crazy. I was like, respect.

[D]

Really?

[A]

I think the drink dumping was crazy. No, I had your back for that.

[D]

An alco dump?

[A]

The uncle dump.

[D]

What do you think your own biggest red flag is?

[A]

Probably that I have really bad attachment issues. Like, every time I've been close to going to the next level with a guy, I'm always like, I'm done. And just. I'm over it.

[D]

Aw.

[A]

I know. That's probably my biggest red flag, which is just like, in general, so I'm proud.

[D]

Why do you think that is?

[A]

I'm selfish, probably. And I'm like, I can't. I can't do this. Or maybe it's like, oh, well, the chick.

[D]

It's because you're selfish.

[A]

You don't think.

[D]

No, no.

[A]

What do you think your biggest red flag is?

[D]

Maybe my commitment issues.

[A]

I don't think you have those. You've been in multiple long term relationships.

[D]

I just feel like committing to anything. Well, like, I change my mind every other day.

[A]

Well, you just did Dancing with the Stars for three months. You showed up every single day. Like, I actually don't think you have those at all.

[D]

Well, thanks.

[A]

So, like, you showed up every day. Pick something else.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

What's something about yourself? You wish more people paid attention to how small my ears are.

[D]

What?

[A]

Yeah, look at them. Look how small they are.

[D]

They are really cute.

[A]

Yep. Once you notice it, you can't unsee it.

[D]

Let me see again.

[A]

Look how small they are. I wish everyone was like, he has such small ears.

[D]

Really?

[A]

And they're so cute. Yeah.

[D]

Let me see from the front. They're really cute.

[A]

And how pretty my eyes are.

[D]

You do have really pretty eyes. Thank you, Jake. I really feel like you need to blend these drops.

[A]

Oh, God. God, I need a spray tan.

[D]

Have you ever gone through someone else's phone?

[A]

Nope. Yes. Yes, yes, Yes, I have.

[D]

Who? Or I guess you don't have to tell me, too.

[A]

I think. I can't remember, but I remember finding something I didn't like, and then I was like, how am I supposed to confront them about this? Cause I went through their phone, and then I think I. Have you ever gone through someone's phone?

[D]

Of course. Everyone's. Except I've never gone through Braxton's phone. I think every other boyfriend.

[A]

You've never gone through his phone?

[D]

Phones, laptops. No, I never went through his phone because I trusted him.

[A]

That's great. Has your phone ever been gone through?

[D]

Oh, I actually did get in big trouble one time. Someone. One of my boyfriends went through my phone, and I got in big trouble by.

[A]

What were you saying?

[D]

It was the group chat. Like, the group chat with the girls?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Nothing got us all in trouble.

[A]

Nothing.

[D]

But it wasn't anything like that.

[A]

That's happened to my friends before as well.

[D]

Yeah, no, I got in big trouble for that. Yeah. I kind of want to go through your phone today. So we're gonna play a little game. Whole camera rolls.

[A]

Okay. Have you ever had a hemorrhoid?

[D]

No.

[A]

You've never had a hemorrhoid ever?

[D]

I'm not even quite sure what a hemorrhoid is. So you have one right now. Can you feel it?

[A]

Like, I'm definitely uncomfortable.

[D]

What is it? In your pod?

[A]

Like, what is it? This is just, like. I don't know. I don't know why I said that. Can you just go on?

[D]

So we're gonna play a game called camera rolls, and basically we're gonna put on our Get Real with me sleeping mask.

[A]

Should we take a shot before we do this?

[D]

We could take a half a shot. Let's take a sip.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Shit.

[A]

Eyes.

[D]

Eyes.

[A]

Mm, mm, mm. So good.

[D]

It's getting a little hard to read.

[A]

No, I. Don't worry. Have you ever met someone that can't read? Neg. Not like a baby. Like a real person that can't read.

[D]

I have a really sad story. When I was younger, my dad used to tell me that he couldn't read so that he didn't have to read me bedtime stories. And I went into kindergarten, and it was like a different parent's turn each week that they would, like, come in and read a book. And it got to me, and they were like, alex, your dad's gonna come in and read this week. And I was like, he doesn't know how to read. And it was really sad. But now he's better.

[A]

Do you ever realize that, like, adults are just grown up children?

[D]

Yeah. Okay, so basically we're gonna blindfold you and you're gonna swipe. Stop. On a photo. You're gonna either show us and tell us a story about what this photo is, or you can take a shot.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay. Ready?

[A]

Ready.

[D]

Okay, I'm scrolling.

[A]

All right, I'm scrolling. Tell me when to stop.

[D]

Stop.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

Oh, mine's fine.

[A]

Mine's totally fine. This is me on tour. I wonder what show this is. Here, let me swipe for context. This was. What show was this? Where was I? June 4th.

[D]

Do you remember when I came to your tour in just full distress?

[A]

Yes. And you still showed up. I felt so bad. What's the point?

[D]

Mine is just a Dancing with the Stars photo.

[A]

Well, this is me on tour. And I totally forget where I was. Oh, my God. I think I got into the biggest fight with Matt this night. I remember loving Denver. Cause we went fishing and got really good sushi. And I remember being really happy. Like, the crowd was amazing. I was, like, on fire. Like, it was just really fun. Everyone was happy. I actually didn't fight with Matt this night. I fought with him the next night.

[D]

Nice. Your show was great. I loved your show so much.

[A]

Peyton said. Yeah, the curriculum of that went crazy.

[D]

What does that mean?

[A]

Like, my whole. What? My show. Like, what I did was just a lot.

[D]

What.

[A]

What photo did you pick?

[D]

Just, like a dance from the stars photo. Nothing juicy. Okay, go. It's not doing anything.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

It's not. Just scroll.

[A]

I'm gonna fucking freak out. Oh, my God. What is this?

[D]

You got it.

[A]

No, no, no. I don't like this game. Ew. What is this? Oh, my God. No, I was at Governor's Ball.

[D]

I was gonna say that looks like Governor's Ball.

[A]

Okay, let me try this game one more time. Let me try one more time.

[D]

No, wait. Tell the story.

[A]

Well, I don't. Let me. Let me. Cause I.

[D]

Okay, then take a shot.

[A]

Okay, hold on. This guy is in it.

[D]

You can't cheat.

[A]

Okay, well, I'm cheating.

[D]

Okay, good.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Why? Okay, I'm just gonna scroll. Okay. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.

[D]

Stop.

[A]

Okay. Oh, my God. I did not show that one.

[D]

Wait, I thought that was.

[A]

No. Yeah, so I can't answer.

[D]

Why did you do that? That's not funny. Well, what do I have to do this for your faults. Oh. This is me at a pool party in college and I spent majority of the pool party in this foam pit asking my friend to take pictures of me.

[A]

Well, it's a great podcast.

[D]

And this is right when I remember this day I did. Do you remember when I did that? TikTok, when I see you at Go.

[A]

Go Nuts, please leave me go laugh at Go Nuts. Yes.

[D]

This is like the week after that. And I was this like.

[A]

Feeling yourself.

[D]

Yeah. So I remember that I did like 45 coconut videos. Okay, well, you know what you're gonna do today?

[A]

What?

[D]

My lips. Okay, here's the look.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Red lips. And that container has one red lipstick. No.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[D]

One red lipstick.

[A]

Why is it so far?

[D]

We'll just wait. I'm gonna get you these goggles that put you upside down and backwards.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

And you're gonna go get it and then come do it on me.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

And I'm gonna ask you some rapid fire questions.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I don't think you're right.

[A]

Please let me girl, let me tell my cocoa.

[D]

I'm gonna go go nuts.

[A]

When I see you, I go nuts.

[D]

Do you know it was like crazy going to class after that.

[A]

Was everyone like, oh, my God.

[D]

No, I was like, oh, my God. I'm like the coconut. Okay.

[A]

Oh, okay. Okay, ready?

[D]

Okay. It's really hard to see a nose, isn't it? Can you tell me what you're thinking?

[A]

Okay. All right. All right. That this lamp is kind of hot. Honestly. All right. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Okay. I'm just gonna take everything and hope for the best here. Okay.

[D]

I need red.

[A]

Red.

[D]

This, I guess.

[A]

Is this it?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Wait, you're actually like.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not horrible.

[D]

You're very good at this.

[A]

I'm not horrible. Okay, well, I just dropped one. My God, I'm so dizzy. Yeah. And I'm like, I just threw up.

[D]

When I had fun.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

[D]

I'm gonna start a two minute timer, so you have two minutes to put this red lip on me. Go. Okay. New York or la?

[A]

La.

[D]

Dark or scandal? Whoo.

[A]

Dark.

[D]

Okay, well, ten seconds wasted. Do my lips.

[A]

Okay, hold on. I'm trying to feel your face.

[D]

Fried octopus or grilled Octopus?

[A]

Grilled.

[D]

Evermore or folkmore?

[A]

Evermore. Folklore?

[D]

Folklore.

[A]

Evermore.

[D]

Late nights or early mornings?

[A]

Late nights.

[D]

Sauna or cold plunge?

[A]

Cold plunge.

[D]

Hangover or fomo?

[A]

Fomo.

[D]

Jake.

[A]

Yeah, I'm trying. Okay. Okay.

[D]

Please, like, do it. Go for it.

[A]

Okay, hold on. Hold on. Let me feel your face. Is this. Okay, Your nose is here. Okay. I'm just gonna close my eyes. Okay. Keep asking me questions.

[D]

Okay. Being too hot or being too cold?

[A]

Being too cold. Always.

[D]

Amazing meal alone or bad meal with friends?

[A]

Bad meal with friends.

[D]

Bad skin breakout. Bad outfit.

[A]

Mm. Bad skin breakout.

[D]

Hurry up.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

I'm trying. Is this your nose? Yeah.

[D]

You have a good nose, Jake. Come on.

[A]

I'm trying.

[D]

What do you see at this point?

[A]

I've closed my eyes. Keep asking me questions.

[D]

They're done.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

No. No.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Six, five, four, three, two, one.

[A]

It was hard. I got it all on your lip. No, I actually tried.

[D]

No, I'm actually proud of you that you got it in the center of this face. I tried those on. I couldn't even walk.

[A]

Yeah, it was impossible.

[D]

All right, well, thanks for getting ready with us. That's it? Yeah. You wanna do more?

[A]

I don't want it to end. You got more questions?

[D]

I do. Okay.

[A]

I'm having so much fun. I love this room.

[D]

A few more.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

For you.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Just for you. We'll shake them on. Who are the three most recent people you searched on Instagram?

[A]

Let's see.

[D]

Let me see.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Alexander Skarsgard, J.W. anderson, and the guy I was hooking up with. Shut up.

[D]

You're lying.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[D]

You're lying.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[D]

Let me see.

[A]

I was hooking up with.

[D]

Do you ever go to bed without brushing your teeth?

[A]

All the time. All the time. And I have a rule. My OCD has a rule. If I eat popcorn, I have to brush my teeth.

[D]

Popcorn?

[A]

Yeah. Because that's the least. And so sometimes I'll. It'll be, like. I'll be, like, kind of high, and It'll be like 12, and I'll be like, I. Like. I ate popcorn.

[D]

Why popcorn?

[A]

It's just what my. What it picked. And so I'll have to go brush my teeth. But sometimes you don't want to, like, get rid of the tired. So, like, you feel it, like, walking into bed, but. And then I'm just like, okay, fuck it. And I just go to bed and. Without brushing my teeth.

[D]

What's the craziest thing you've done for a beauty treatment this year? I know.

[A]

What?

[D]

Well, I don't know if it's a beauty treatment, but you had these things plugged in.

[A]

My ear seeds.

[D]

Do you still have them?

[A]

No. No. That's not the craziest. The craziest is probably these silver plugs.

[D]

In his ears, for example.

[A]

Yeah, my ear seeds.

[D]

I have to get this off my face.

[A]

Okay, well, sometimes I do nad drips of IV and it makes you, like, have to, like, shit your pants. It makes you nauseous. It makes you feel sick. Your heart starts racing. Apparently, it's good for you.

[D]

You.

[A]

Don'T know why I was closing my eyes. What is something that you love that everyone else hates and vice versa? I can answer this as well.

[D]

What?

[A]

I hate candy corn. And I hate.

[D]

I thought you were about to say the same thing as me.

[A]

What?

[D]

I was going to say I love cold soup out of a can.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Thanks, guys, for getting ready with us. This was real fun.

[A]

This was so fun. I love you.

[D]

I love you drunk. Thanks for coming.

[A]

Thanks for having me. Bye. Bye. I love your house. Oh, I'm sorry. My shoes fell off and I don't think I can bring this robe out. And I've stained them.

[D]

Oh, my God. We stained the chairs.

[A]

Alex. Well, what do we do? Surely you're gonna have more people over than just me.

[D]

Surely.

[A]

Thanks, guys. Oh, and we stained literally everything else. Love you.

[D]

Love you.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

I love you. All right.

[D]

Jake. Jake. This isn't coming off.

[C]

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[D]

Experian.