Hot Mess with Alix Earle
Episode: Hot Mess Hotline: I'm Still in Love with My Ex!
Release Date: January 9, 2025
In this engaging episode of Hot Mess with Alix Earle, host Alix delves deep into relationship dilemmas sent in by her dedicated listeners. Striking a balance between empathy and straightforward advice, Alix addresses each scenario with candid insights, helping her audience navigate the messy terrains of love, friendship, and personal growth. Below is a detailed breakdown of the key discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode.
1. Discovering an Ex on Hinge in Shared Spaces
Timestamp: [03:49]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener shares her experience of finding her boyfriend on Hinge while they were both in her bed. Feeling betrayed, she questions whether she made the right decision to kick him out of her apartment.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix reassures her listener, emphasizing that ending the relationship was the right choice. She underscores the disrespect shown by the boyfriend using Hinge during intimate moments.
“You definitely did the right thing by kicking him out, because that just... it's disgusting.” [05:15]
Alix further reflects on her past experiences with disrespectful partners, highlighting the importance of self-worth and the inevitability of such individuals trying to return.
2. Moving Back Home and Making New Friends
Timestamp: [08:27]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener is moving from Tampa back to Chicago after graduation and feels anxious about making new friends in her hometown.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix offers practical strategies for building a social circle post-college. She advises focusing on personal routines and hobbies, such as workout or dance classes, to meet like-minded individuals.
“Focus on you. Focus on your passions and be confident. Don't be afraid to shoot your shot.” [08:54]
She also mentions the value of work friendships and encourages reaching out to co-workers or classmates as potential friends.
3. Wedding Guest List Conflict
Timestamp: [13:42]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener faces pressure from her father to invite her stepmother to her wedding, despite having a strained relationship with her.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix empathizes with the listener's predicament but encourages prioritizing her special day over familial conflicts. She suggests that including the stepmother may prevent future regrets and emphasizes the significance of having her father present.
“You need to have confidence in this and confidence in yourself, and, like, even right now, like, that what they're doing to you is mean.” [13:50]
Alix advises being the bigger person for her own peace of mind, even if it means setting aside personal grievances temporarily.
4. Managing Anxiety and Building Confidence
Timestamp: [19:03]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener struggles with anxiety and confidence issues, seeking advice on managing panic attacks and improving self-esteem.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix shares her personal journey with anxiety, offering coping mechanisms such as recognizing anxiety triggers, using deep breathing, and distracting oneself during panic attacks. She highlights the importance of self-care and journaling to process emotions.
“Confidence part of it is really, like, faking it till you make it.” [19:40]
She emphasizes that confidence is a continuous journey and encourages the listener to be patient and compassionate with herself.
5. Dating Someone with an Obsessive Relationship with His Sister
Timestamp: [29:05]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener is dating a guy whose conversations are overwhelmingly focused on his sister, creating an uncomfortable dynamic.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix advises evaluating whether the behavior is a red flag. If the sister-centric relationship feels unhealthy, she recommends distancing oneself and prioritizing personal well-being over trying to fix the situation.
“If you know that this is a thing, and maybe it's not weird, and maybe you're just overthinking it, but if it's something that bothers you, then, like, this isn't the guy for you.” [29:42]
She stresses the importance of trusting one's instincts and choosing relationships that foster mutual respect and comfort.
6. Dealing with Jealousy in a Relationship
Timestamp: [30:56]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener feels jealous in her relationship because her boyfriend doesn’t exhibit jealousy, making her feel uncertain about his care.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix acknowledges the listener's feelings, sharing her past struggles with jealousy. She recommends addressing the root causes of jealousy and seeking healthier ways to gauge her boyfriend's commitment without relying on his jealousy.
“He probably does care, but he's probably taking notes, and he's probably like, can this stop?” [31:39]
Alix encourages open communication and self-reflection to build a more secure and trusting relationship.
7. Being in Love with an Ex While Dating Someone New
Timestamp: [35:53]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener is six months into a new relationship but still harbors feelings for her ex, who lives 3,000 miles away.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix advises ending the current relationship to fully process unresolved feelings for the ex. She emphasizes the unfairness of being emotionally divided and the importance of giving oneself time to heal before embarking on a new romantic journey.
“You definitely shouldn't be in a relationship if you're still in love with someone else.” [36:33]
She encourages honesty and self-awareness to pursue healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the future.
8. Dating a Recently Divorced Man with Children Who Doesn’t Know What He Wants
Timestamp: [38:37]
Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener has been dating a recently divorced man with children for a year, who remains uncertain about his life direction.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix suggests evaluating whether the man's uncertainty aligns with her relationship goals. If his indecisiveness is causing discomfort, she recommends moving on to seek a partner who is more focused and aligned with her aspirations.
“It's always worth it. Sticking with your gut and, like, kind of doing the harder thing in the now for the better return in the long run.” [38:48]
She underscores the importance of compatibility and future aspirations in sustaining a healthy relationship.
9. Being Ghosted by Friends After a Party
Timestamp: [40:47]
Listener’s Dilemma:
After attending a party where friends left her alone, the listener faces cold behavior and avoidance from them during subsequent school events.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix labels the friends' behavior as bullying and advises the listener to distance herself from toxic relationships. She encourages seeking new friendships that offer genuine support and understanding.
“Those are not your friends. We've got to move on from them.” [44:58]
Alix emphasizes self-worth and the importance of surrounding oneself with positive and respectful individuals.
10. Receiving a Rude Comment from Boyfriend’s Ex at a Party
Timestamp: [44:58]
Listener’s Dilemma:
At a party, while assisting her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, the listener receives a hurtful comment about her feet being big.
Alix’s Advice:
Alix advises maintaining composure and being the bigger person in such situations. She suggests distancing oneself from negative interactions and focusing on personal happiness rather than engaging with provocation.
“It's always better to be the bigger person.” [45:09]
She highlights that the ex-girlfriend’s behavior reflects her own insecurities and not the listener’s worth.
Final Thoughts
Throughout the episode, Alix consistently promotes self-respect, clear boundaries, and the importance of self-care. Her blend of personal anecdotes and direct advice offers listeners relatable and actionable steps to handle their own life’s hot messes. By addressing each voicemail with empathy and honesty, Alix empowers her audience to make decisions that prioritize their well-being and happiness.
“You deserve better. That's not a friend. That's literally a bully.” [42:01]
As the episode concludes, Alix expresses her appreciation for the listeners and reaffirms her commitment to continue these meaningful Hotline sessions, fostering a sense of community and support among her audience.
Notable Quotes:
- “You definitely did the right thing by kicking him out, because that just... it's disgusting.” [05:15]
- “Focus on you. Focus on your passions and be confident. Don't be afraid to shoot your shot.” [08:54]
- “Confidence part of it is really, like, faking it till you make it.” [19:40]
- “Those are not your friends. We've got to move on from them.” [44:58]
- “You deserve better. That's not a friend. That's literally a bully.” [42:01]
For listeners seeking candid relationship advice rooted in real-life experiences, this episode of Hot Mess with Alix Earle serves as a valuable resource. Alix’s straightforward approach and heartfelt empathy make complex emotional challenges more manageable, reinforcing the message that everyone deserves respect, love, and genuine connections.