Body Peace, Color Analysis & Calling Tribal Council with Victoria Garrick Browne

Summary

House of Maher Episode Summary: "Body Peace, Color Analysis & Calling Tribal Council with Victoria Garrick Browne"

Episode Information:

• Title: Body Peace, Color Analysis & Calling Tribal Council with Victoria Garrick Browne
• Release Date: July 15, 2025
• Host: Wave Originals - Ilona Maher, Olivia Maher, and Adrianna “Dre Baby” Maher
• Guest: Victoria Garrick Browne

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1. Introduction and Welcome (00:00 – 07:41)

The episode kicks off with a lively introduction from the Maher sisters, interspersed with humorous banter and personal updates. Ilona, Olivia, and Adrianna share anecdotes about their personal lives, including Adrianna's recent dating experiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Adriana “Dre Baby” Maher (01:23): "I was nervous kind of going into it because it's been so long, but I was kind of there, and I was like, this is easy."
• Olivia Maher (05:00): "I love you, but I love me more."

The sisters emphasize the importance of self-love and confidence, setting a positive and relatable tone for the episode.

2. Dating Narratives (01:15 – 07:28)

Adriana shares her recent date experience, highlighting the challenges and realizations that come with modern dating. The conversation delves into the superficial aspects of dating and the quest for meaningful connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Adriana Maher (03:04): "It wasn't bad. It was, like, fun, you know? It was just. There's no spark."
• Ilona Maher (05:10): "What's the lawyer lady's name? Miranda."

The discussion reflects on the dynamics of dating apps and the sometimes superficial nature of initial interactions.

3. Body Positivity and Color Analysis (09:00 – 25:54)

The conversation shifts to body positivity and the concept of color analysis. Adrianna commends Victoria Garrick Brown for her authentic approach to sharing personal struggles and body image issues.

Notable Quotes:

• Victoria Garrick Brown (10:36): "If you like the color, wear the color."
• Adriana Maher (25:16): "I think that can be applied to so much."

The sisters and Victoria discuss the pressures of color analysis in fashion and the importance of embracing personal style regardless of prescribed color palettes.

Color Analysis Insights:

• Victoria Garrick Brown (13:24): "Your contrast level. Have you heard of, like, low, medium, or high contrast?"
• Olivia Maher (12:15): "I am an autumn."

The segment emphasizes the subjective nature of color analysis and encourages listeners to prioritize personal preference over rigid guidelines.

4. Guest Introduction: Victoria Garrick Browne (08:09 – 08:42)

Victoria Garrick Brown is introduced as a multifaceted individual—a Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, TEDx speaker, mental health advocate, podcast host, former Division 1 athlete, and founder of the nonprofit Hidden Opponent. Her impressive background sets the stage for an in-depth discussion on mental health in sports and beyond.

Notable Quotes:

• Alona Maher (08:39): "Welcome, welcome."
• Victoria Garrick Brown (08:42): "I'm so happy to be here with all of you."

5. Discussion with Victoria: Mental Health and Perfectionism (08:48 – 37:04)

Victoria delves into her personal journey with mental health, particularly focusing on her experiences as a Division 1 athlete. She discusses the onset of performance anxiety and depression, highlighting the lack of mental health support for athletes.

Notable Quotes:

• Victoria Garrick Brown (09:26): "I definitely feel confident. I definitely know, like, what it took to build where I'm at."
• Victoria Garrick Brown (16:00): "I definitely feel like I learned work ethic from him [her brother]."

Victoria emphasizes the importance of seeking help and normalizing mental health conversations within athletic communities.

6. Sibling Dynamics and Influences (14:22 – 17:17)

The conversation explores the influence of siblings on personal and athletic development. Victoria shares how her older brothers instilled a strong work ethic and resilience, shaping her approach to both sports and business.

Notable Quotes:

• Victoria Garrick Brown (16:35): "I remember one time he woke me up on a weekend and was like, you're either getting better, you're getting worse, like, we're going to work out."
• Alona Maher (17:11): "How was. How is that? Give us an insight into what that's like."

The discussion highlights how sibling relationships can foster competitiveness, support, and personal growth.

7. Relationships and Conflict Resolution (19:02 – 27:04)

Adriana shares a personal story about a recent argument with her partner, Max, and how they navigated conflict through openness and communication. Victoria provides insights into healthy conflict resolution, emphasizing the importance of addressing issues rather than letting them fester.

Notable Quotes:

• Victoria Garrick Brown (21:09): "If it's pinching you or if you were upset by something and then you just like brush through it."
• Adriana Maher (25:54): "And … you can bring it to your audience. So I think that they really both appreciate your realness."

Victoria introduces the analogy of the "messy chair" to describe how unresolved issues can accumulate if not addressed promptly.

8. Body Image and Social Media (28:33 – 57:41)

The sisters and Victoria discuss the impact of social media on body image and the importance of curating online spaces to promote positivity. They share personal strategies for coping with negative comments and the pressures of maintaining a certain appearance online.

Notable Quotes:

• Victoria Garrick Brown (55:28): "They were like, 'Oh, she's so annoying.' Is that so? And then someone's like, 'Oh, I love her.' Is that so?"
• Olivia Maher (57:41): "But I hear you."

Victoria emphasizes setting boundaries and following accounts that inspire rather than diminish self-worth.

9. Book Recommendations and Discussions (62:38 – 70:05)

The episode concludes with a segment dedicated to book discussions. Victoria shares her thoughts on Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth," highlighting transformative ideas about identity and consciousness. The conversation also touches on the "A Court of Thorns and Roses" (Acotar) series, with the sisters sharing their favorite moments and character insights.

Notable Quotes:

• Victoria Garrick Brown (63:39): "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness."
• Alona Maher (67:12): "The photos were iconic."

The discussion underscores the importance of continuous learning and personal growth through literature.

10. Conclusion (70:05 – End)

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks to Victoria Garrick Brown for her insightful contributions. The sisters encourage listeners to engage with the show on various platforms and to embrace authenticity in their personal journeys.

Notable Quotes:

• Alona Maher (70:05): "We had a great time."
• Victoria Garrick Brown (70:23): "You’re the best. I loved being at House of Maher."

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Key Takeaways:

• Mental Health in Athletics: Highlighted the critical need for mental health support systems within sports environments.
• Body Positivity: Emphasized the importance of self-acceptance and the detrimental effects of societal pressures on body image.
• Authenticity: Advocated for authentic self-expression both online and offline, encouraging listeners to embrace their true selves.
• Conflict Resolution: Provided actionable strategies for healthy communication and resolving conflicts in relationships.
• Continuous Growth: Encouraged ongoing personal development through self-reflection and educational resources.

Conclusion: This episode of House of Maher offers a comprehensive exploration of mental health, body positivity, and authentic living. Through engaging conversations and the invaluable insights of guest Victoria Garrick Brown, listeners are empowered to navigate personal challenges with confidence and resilience.

Transcript

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

With the Venmo Debit card, you can Venmo everything. Your favorite band's merch. You can Venmo this or their next show.

[Olivia Mar]

You can Venmo that.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Visit Venmo Me Debit to learn more. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp bank and a pursuant to license by MasterCard International, Inc. The card may be used everywhere. MasterCard is accepted. Venmo purchase restrictions apply. Remember when we didn't know the word ozempic? Peace with your body and food is what I want. Not being in a certain dress size. Not being. Because if I'm in that dress size, I'm thinking about food 24 7. Because guess what? That's not my natural weight. That's on my weight. When I enjoy my life. So I always come back to what do I really want? And it's peace with my body and peace with food. And that means living my life the way I'm doing it now.

[Alona Mar]

Welcome to House of Mar. A Wave original sponsored by TJ Maxx. We have a few house rules.

[Olivia Mar]

Girls are magic.

[Adriana Mar]

Reading is hot, and so are you.

[Alona Mar]

Make sure to subscribe to us on YouTube and. And also, if you can. This is like the last day you can vote for my ESPYs. And make sure to click all the way through to the end. I'd appreciate your vote as I'm campaigning. So please, please, please, I would like to. I would like this espy. I am the middle sister, Alona Mar.

[Olivia Mar]

I am the eldest daughter, Olivia Mar.

[Adriana Mar]

And I am the baby, Adriana Mar.

[Alona Mar]

I recently heard that our little baby here went on a date.

[Olivia Mar]

Oh, the rumors are true.

[Alona Mar]

The rumors are true.

[Adriana Mar]

What?

[Olivia Mar]

First one in how long?

[Adriana Mar]

Why are you bringing that up?

[Olivia Mar]

You're famous for it.

[Adriana Mar]

It's been almost a year. It's been almost same. Same official date. But, Ilona, it wasn't that bad. Actually, it was. I was nervous kind of going into it because it's been so long, but I was kind of there, and I was like, this is easy.

[Alona Mar]

But it was also like I was.

[Adriana Mar]

Putting in a shift, keeping this conversation going.

[Alona Mar]

Right, Right. Okay.

[Adriana Mar]

I was like, I'm asking all the questions, like, yes, he is lobbing some back my way. But, like, why am I holding your hand through this?

[Alona Mar]

He did ask you some stuff, you're saying?

[Adriana Mar]

Yeah, kind of like the same one that I'd ask him back. So that is a step up. But bar. The bar is in hell.

[Olivia Mar]

Right?

[Alona Mar]

Right. Sometimes they don't ask intellectual questions. Very surface level. Like, even if it's Just favorite color or something. It's never like, what's your thoughts on this? Or blah, blah, blah.

[Adriana Mar]

What I was anticipating and I still didn't have an answer for until I got there is how I was going to answer. So what do you do?

[Olivia Mar]

Right.

[Adriana Mar]

Because that's a lot to unpack. And so I did answer truthfully. And I was like, I was at a nonprofit, but now I have a podcast. And I could tell he was not convinced until, like, the more. Because he. The more we talked, like, little things would happen. I was like, oh. Like, we were in, like, Bristol shooting and, like, our producer and our production, yada, yada. And I could see that he was like, oh, this is legit. It's not her in a basement.

[Alona Mar]

He didn't look at you? Look you up on socials?

[Adriana Mar]

Apparently not.

[Alona Mar]

Wow.

[Adriana Mar]

Oh, you don't follow. I should have laughed.

[Olivia Mar]

Yeah. What did you guys do on this date? Did you go to dinner or, like, do people do that anymore? What. What was the vibe?

[Adriana Mar]

I was actually the cheapest date of his life. We went to this, like, dive bar, and it was happy hour when we got there. So my gin and tonic was $5. And then we got our next round free because, like, a alcohol distributor was there, and she was like, would you like a Moscow Mule? So we had two drinks. It only cost him five bucks. Big spender.

[Alona Mar]

And you're gonna see him again, or what do you think?

[Adriana Mar]

Oh, no. Okay. It wasn't bad. It was, like, fun, you know? It was just. There's no spark. Also, it's been a week or two, and no one has reached out.

[Olivia Mar]

Right.

[Adriana Mar]

So let's kind of. That tells you the writings.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Okay.

[Alona Mar]

Okay, that's fine.

[Adriana Mar]

But I can go on another one. I'm inspired.

[Olivia Mar]

So are you inspired? Do you want to. Did this wet your feet enough that you want to dive all the way in?

[Adriana Mar]

I think so. Maybe not all the time, but maybe more than once a year.

[Olivia Mar]

Okay.

[Alona Mar]

Sex in the city over here.

[Olivia Mar]

Wow. You are so Samantha. Samantha?

[Alona Mar]

You think she's Samantha?

[Adriana Mar]

I was like, I think I'm incredibly obvious.

[Alona Mar]

Hold on, let me think.

[Olivia Mar]

I know.

[Alona Mar]

What's the lawyer lady's name?

[Olivia Mar]

Miranda.

[Adriana Mar]

Miranda.

[Alona Mar]

Miranda. Miranda. Oh, and Charlotte.

[Adriana Mar]

I'm a Miranda.

[Olivia Mar]

Yeah, everyone should be Miranda.

[Alona Mar]

If a man is over 30 and single, there's something wrong with him.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

It's Darwinian.

[Alona Mar]

They're being weeded out from propagating the species.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Okay, what about us? We're just choosing.

[Olivia Mar]

What is Elona? Who is Alona? Carrie?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Stanford. I got a whole Afternoon plan with Australian Vogue. I'm not just going to drop everything to go downtown to see some cute guy.

[Alona Mar]

He's straight.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I'll get my purse.

[Alona Mar]

No, I am annoying like Carrie. Real talk. I am real talk Carrie. I am annoying as heck. Olivia, I. I don't think is a Samantha.

[Olivia Mar]

No.

[Alona Mar]

So I guess Charlotte.

[Olivia Mar]

Dude, I'm just trying to learn to.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Compromise because sometimes I can be a little rigid.

[Alona Mar]

Oh, I think it's Charlotte.

[Adriana Mar]

But you're also.

[Alona Mar]

She's also Miranda.

[Olivia Mar]

Yeah, I'm Miranda. But I think I can take the Charlotte just cuz I am quite type A and I am quite like I like things to be a certain way.

[Adriana Mar]

That's so true.

[Olivia Mar]

So I think that that works for me. And she's got great hair and great style, so I'll take it.

[Alona Mar]

And maybe Olivia, maybe you'll come into your Samantha era.

[Olivia Mar]

I think. Am I am I am I am a Samantha rising. Is that what's happening?

[Alona Mar]

Nice poll.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Want to see it again?

[Alona Mar]

You got a very far way to rise to get to where Samantha's at, but I think you could, you could like microdose it. Let's not really go Samantha mode.

[Olivia Mar]

One of my favorite Samantha lines is I love you, but I love me more.

[Alona Mar]

Oof.

[Olivia Mar]

Love that.

[Alona Mar]

She's good.

[Olivia Mar]

Remember that forever and always. Can I tell you guys something so corny? As I've now like single again and I'm out at bars and stuff and you find yourself having that mental struggle of like, oh my gosh, do I look pretty enough? Do I look, Do I look good enough here? Oh, does it look weird that I'm wearing this and you're like doing this weird thing in your brain, like, will people like me? It's so corny. But you know that song that's like, someone will love me the way I am.

[Adriana Mar]

Yeah.

[Olivia Mar]

My brain literally does that and it makes me step back and be like, wait, yeah, I can wear whatever the hell I want, act however I want, talk as loud as I want. Because whoever I'm supposed to be with is gonna love me the way that I am. It's corny, but I don't know why. Literally my brain's like, someone will love me. Yeah. So that's been helping me actually, like, it's weirdly, like very therapeutic to just remind me that's who I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adriana Mar]

And everyone else take that in as well.

[Olivia Mar]

Yeah. Start singing under your breath in bars you'll be.

[Adriana Mar]

When no one's buying me a drink, someone.

[Alona Mar]

Right, right, right. No, I'M fine. Someone will love me the way I am. Thank you so much.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Thank you so much.

[Alona Mar]

Dang. Well, Johnna, I. I hope you do go on some more dates. It's honestly fun, like going on dates. You get better at it. You get used to it. I think it's smart what you did. Going to just get a drink because it's an easy way out. You're not there for a long time. So good on you, dude.

[Adriana Mar]

Thank you.

[Alona Mar]

Proud. More to come. It's only in the middle of 2025, too. You got, you know, rest of the year to go.

[Adriana Mar]

Yeah, exactly. And what My friend has recently said this of like, one less date before whoever I marry. I was like, wow.

[Olivia Mar]

For sure.

[Alona Mar]

Wow.

[Adriana Mar]

That's good. That is good.

[Alona Mar]

And to everyone listening, remember, someone will love you the way that you are. All right, well, on that note, on that one, let's get into it. Coming up on today's episode of House of Mar, we are talking with our special guest, Victoria Garrick Brown about perfectionism, color analysis, and running your own nonprofit like a boss.

[Adriana Mar]

We have the wonderful Victoria Garrick Brown joining us today. Well, hello, Victoria.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Hi, guys.

[Adriana Mar]

You are a 2024 Forbes 30 under 30 honoree, TEDx talk speaker, mental health advocate, podcast host of RealPod, former Division 1 athlete who has amassed 2 million followers across social media, where you're known for your unfiltered campaign hashtag real post. You've been featured on the Kelly Clarkson show and the Drew Barrymore show. Victoria is also the founder of the Hidden Opponent Opponent and nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting athletes mental health.

[Alona Mar]

Welcome, welcome.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I'm so happy to be here with all of you.

[Alona Mar]

Is it always fun to hear all of your accolades just, like, read out to you every time? You just have to sit there like, yup, yup.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I'm so resistant to it. I don't know how you guys feel. Like, it feels weird to just sit there and be like, like, embrace it. So I'm just like, I'm blocking it out.

[Alona Mar]

You just have to say. You have to say thank you. Yeah.

[Olivia Mar]

Okay.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah.

[Olivia Mar]

It's like getting happy birthday sang at you. You're like, yes, thank you. So everyone, all the attention's on me to celebrate it.

[Alona Mar]

You should revel in it because there's a lot here.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Oh, my God. Thank you. I know the three of you can really. I have this thing, though, where, like, I struggle to just, like, let myself soak up things like that and be like, yeah, I've worked hard and I'm proud of myself. It like, it. It's always like, nope, can always do a little more. So that's what I'm working on right now.

[Olivia Mar]

Good for you.

[Alona Mar]

Do you ever get asked about imposter syndrome, or do you deal with imposter syndrome yourself?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

A hundred percent.

[Alona Mar]

Really?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

But I know your iconic video alone over, you're like, don't have that. Which honestly gives me so much hope for a future version of myself. But I feel like I had major imposter syndrome. Like, yeah, especially playing college sports. But now I think in my career, I definitely feel confident. I definitely know, like, what it took to build where I'm at. And I love to talk about, like, the business side and the background side. So I feel like I had it more in sports because you were just being evaluated statistically. There's another girl on the bench who wants your spot. You're looking for coaches validation that it gave my anxiety a lot of room to run.

[Olivia Mar]

Victoria, we like to start our show by touching some grass. You know, we take life a little too seriously, so we use this as a chance to remind ourselves, but also everyone to just touch some grass. Let's be in touch with reality. So today we all. Before we started recording, we're commenting on Adriana's beautiful red jacket and how it looks so great with her coloring, which got us on the topic of color analysis. Is it a scam? What are your thoughts?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Okay. Gosh. It would have depended when you asked me. I would say now for sure, I've touched grass. I've realized we can wear every color. It wasn't a blood test. I think that's the thing that got me is, like, you can't be sure because I got my colors done, and I felt super good about it, but I'm like, a perfectionist brain. So I was like, oh, my God, I have to only wear these. These colors. And then there was another person on the Internet who was like, victoria's coloring is wrong, and she's actually this. And then I started, like, short circuiting. Like, oh, my God, am I warm or am I cool? And I realized I needed to touch grass, and it wasn't that deep. And if you like the color, wear the color. In case you were wondering, the PJs are, in fact, in my palette.

[Alona Mar]

Did you have, like, somebody, like, held up a thing on you? How did you get it done? I've never got it done. Maybe I. Maybe I should, but now I don't know if I will. Is it a. What did you say? Blood test? What are you saying?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Okay. No. So I had someone hold up the colors and kind of eyeball it, but that's what they do. If it was a blood test, I was saying where, like, if you could draw someone's blood and be like, you're a true summer, I'd be like, 100%. There's no shred of doubt. It was very hard for me to think, like, but I'm a true summer to you. Like, you know, I was also very much in denial because I feel like I'm a gold girl. Like, I like orange, yellow, gold, cold. And I was told that I'm a silver cool tone. That was tough for me because you.

[Adriana Mar]

Identify so much with the metal that it's like, don't take that away from me.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah. Do you guys have vibes on if you're cool or warm toned? So what's the verdict?

[Olivia Mar]

I am an autumn.

[Adriana Mar]

I always just say I'm pink because I run. Yeah, just pink. So I guess is that warm? Because I'm like, I don't really think I'm a war. I just run pink. Like, that's my undertone.

[Alona Mar]

I see Olivia's cool tone right now.

[Olivia Mar]

Right now, or just like always? Like, I don't.

[Alona Mar]

I actually don't know what I'm saying when I say that.

[Olivia Mar]

I don't know.

[Alona Mar]

What does that mean? Cool.

[Olivia Mar]

I'm like, I like to edit my Instagram pictures a little warmer. Does that. Was that.

[Alona Mar]

Give me an answer?

[Olivia Mar]

I don't know.

[Adriana Mar]

Warm at heart.

[Olivia Mar]

Warm at heart.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Well, it's like, everyone likes a tan. You know what I mean? But.

[Olivia Mar]

Well, does having a tan affect it? Like, if you're paler than normal, what's your color analysis? Like?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

There's.

[Adriana Mar]

There's like, the two types of fake tan, like the green or the purple. And doesn't that fall into, like, the. The cool or the warm?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah.

[Adriana Mar]

And that's how you should do your under. So there's levels to this.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

There's totally levels. I. I will say something that stuck with me is you'll probably never catch me in neon. I've just. No matter what I was, I don't think neon was on any spectrum for me. So you know what actually, I think is more accurate? Your contrast level. Have you heard of, like, low, medium, or high contrast?

[Adriana Mar]

That, I think is very true. Yeah, that's like, if you're pale, but you've got, like, darker features, like hair, eyebrows, that's a high contrast. So just, like, literally think if you put yourself in black and white, like, is it high or low?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah. And I've taken that because I'm like, medium contrast. So no matter what the color is, as long as I go with, like. Like, this shade of gray, maybe, you know, I'm chilling. That's why I tell myself, you're good now.

[Olivia Mar]

No neon colors. But we're growing up. What color was your childhood bedroom? Are you not a bright green and bright pink girly?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Oh, it was 100. A fuchsia wallpaper with a fuchsia carpet. And I had magazine cutouts all over one wall, and I even had a chalk wall. So we went really into it.

[Olivia Mar]

Alona had a magnet wall alone. I had my mom painted, like, a magnetic paint under her, so one of her walls, you could put magnets on it.

[Alona Mar]

What is your sibling dynamic? So do you have siblings, Victoria?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I'm the middle child between two boys.

[Alona Mar]

Oh, bless you. Wow. How was. How is that? Give us an insight into what that's like. I'm a middle child with two girls, and I feel like it. It's pretty nice.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

It's nice to have been someone who had an older sibling so you could, like, you know, have them pave the way or be protective or, like, kind of. Yeah. Take care of you. But then also to be an older sibling to your youngest and get to kind of take out the. Yeah, now I'm the boss kind of vibe. So I really enjoyed being a middle child and the only girl. Yeah. And I liked having an older brother for sure, especially because, yeah, I feel like you just. You idolize your older sibling. Do you feel that way alone or. No?

[Alona Mar]

Well, how much older was your brother?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Three years older than me.

[Alona Mar]

Olivia and I were very, like, similar in age, so. And similar in grade, so I don't know if it was idolized, but, like, whatever she was doing, I would. I would be doing it as well. So I feel like for her, I would have. But we were just kind of the. Whatever she did, I did, so she got missed out on that. I think maybe Adriana idolizes her idle.

[Adriana Mar]

I think I idolized both of you. But then I also had, like, a deep, sometimes disdain because oftentimes they were so successful and, like, all their sports and stuff that I was like, now I have to do that.

[Alona Mar]

Right, Right.

[Adriana Mar]

But I, you know, I think as a younger sister, I jealous of what you guys wear and doing all that because you're like, that's so cool.

[Alona Mar]

Victoria, do you think, like, those brothers. And I hear about brothers making helping you become a great athlete. Do you think they're one of the reasons that or even just siblings in general. You became such a great athlete. Was it because of them? Like, did you wrestle? Did they push you? What happened there?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

For sure, I definitely would say I have thick skin because of my brothers. My older brother played golf at UCLA and then professionally for about five years. So definitely I feel like I learned work ethic from him. Like, I remember one time he like, woke me up on a weekend and was like, you're either getting better, you're getting worse, like, we're going to work out. So I definitely feel like seeing his dedication to golf, which he almost had like an obsession just because he loved the sport so much, definitely influenced me. And then I remember, like, if he came to watch my club games, I'd get all nervous, like, I gotta play well because he's watching me.

[Alona Mar]

Oh, my gosh, that's that we felt the same. With my sisters at least was like, Olivia and I always played the same sport. And I guess for us it was like, always try not competition, but like, you know, you see her being good, you want to rise that level as well. And I wonder if, like, that maybe we do a study on athletes, whether or not they're best but they have siblings.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

To be honest, that would be an interesting study. I know you guys were talking about the only children with Kylie, so I wonder if we took the data further and evaluated. I wouldn't be too surprised if they all had older siblings who were beating them up.

[Alona Mar]

Did you find that your parents, being the only girl, treated you any differently or was it kind of like, if your brothers do it, I'm going to do it?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I actually was thinking about this the other day because I think the whole nature, nurture, conversation and debate is like, so fascinating to me. Like, would I be the same me if I grew up in a different family? You know? And I feel like because maybe I had two boys around me, my dad never like, made me think I couldn't do what they could do. Like, if they were driving a wave runner, I was. If they were learning to tie a knot at a lake, I was tying the knot. Like, so I think I got a lot of my sense of self esteem from being told, hey, if a guy can do it, I can do it too. So I feel grateful for that, that they weren't like, oh, no, you're the girl, so stay inside and don't get dirty today. Like, I was out there playing kick the can and sardines with them.

[Alona Mar]

That was similar to our dad as well. Even though he all had girls, he was like, I'm not gonna treat them any differently than I would my sons. And I think that really was refreshing that both our dads felt that way. Like, yeah, okay, that's my daughter, but she's gonna be, you know, as strong, as powerful as can be. Good job, dads.

[Adriana Mar]

Good job.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Your dad's an OG Girl dad.

[Olivia Mar]

Yeah, truly big time, big time girl dad.

[Alona Mar]

One thing we wanted to talk about is like, having arguments as a couple is normal. And something that you kind of talk about on your social media channels is like, I think people sometimes put out this idealist version of their relationship that we see. Like, they show the best pictures, they show the best tiktoks of them just being the most in love. But actually behind the scenes that we don't see is the is actually it's not that. What I've loved about your refreshing content is like being very real about that. And I think kind of shows like how relationships are not always easy. And I think that talking about that breaks the, the stereotype of like, oh, no, it's perfect. I love him all the time. He's literally the best.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah, for sure. You know, and I think every couple is like getting an argument. That's the reality of it. You're never like, not gonna have an off week or a fight. And Max and I recently went on like a two night staycation because I felt like we haven't been spending enough, like, quality time together. He's like, what do you mean? Every night we're both home, I'm like, but you're watching one show and I'm watching another. So that does not count to me. I'm like, we need to be doing the same thing. So I felt like I kind of like kidnapped him and was like, we're going to go on this vacation. And then we got in like a really big argument, like during the Saturday, which is like, you know, you go the night before, this is your one big day, and then you go home. So obviously that was like so defeating because you're like, I just want us to be like having so much fun right now. I think also when you go on vacation with your partner, there is this pressure of like, okay, this is just going to be perfect. And yeah, we got in an argument. Like, it's so layered, but it was triggered by me really thinking this is all about us. And he took a quick work call in the morning, which I'm like, okay, that's fine. And then it's like minute five, minute ten. I'm giving him the eyes of like, why are you taking a phone call? And he's giving me the eyes of. It's a 10 minute call. Like you were on your phone, you know, whatever it is. And that kind of started the dialogue. And. And then it, you know, became this bigger thing about also not communicating. Like, for me to say to him, hey, today is really important to me. I have a schedule in my mind of how it's going to go and you taking a call is not in my mental itinerary. And then he's like, what do you mean? We just had this beautiful breakfast together. We were about to play pickleball. Like, why can't I take this call? So that was what triggered it to be super transparent. And then, yeah, I wasn't going to post about it on social media because I actually thought he was going to be the one that didn't want me to share that. And then when I sent him like the post I was planning to post, he was like, you could, you could say that we got in a fight. And I was like, okay. Because I always love when I can add that real element. Because like you said, like, Ilona aided. That is the truth. And yeah, I think just being open about it and now I feel like we're so connected and we're so in flow because we like popped the bubble. You need to pop the bubble when it comes.

[Olivia Mar]

What does that mean? Or like, is that how you guys, you know, navigate a fight? Or what does that look like for you?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I feel like we try to not let things fester. So like, if it's pinching you or if you were upset by something and then you just like brush through it. We actually have this analogy of like, you know, that messy chair in your room. And it's like when you're in a relationship and someone annoys you, you can either like both do the laundry, fold it and put it back in the drawer, or you can throw it on the chair and be like, I'll deal with it another day. Or I'm annoyed. So I think sometimes when you're just so busy with work and life, you just. The chair starts piling up and then before you know it, you have so many shirts, so many pants, so many socks. And I feel like that's like, what happened to us and we're human. Like, Max is so sweet. He's always like, we gotta give ourselves grace, cut ourselves slack. You know, you've been busy, I've been busy. But you know, it was a good reset. So that now actually the other day, coming out of the fight. One of our big revelations was he lets a lot brush over his shoulders. And then when I go to him with something, that's when he, like, brings in all of his baggage too. And I'm like, that's not fair. I literally explained to him, I'm like, it's like, we're in court, and I have called the court to prove that there's paints on the wall. And so if you bring up something else, it's like, your honor, hearsay. Like, we're here to prove paints on the wall. So I gave him the analogy of, like, if I'm calling the meeting, it's. Although I should be more open. I'm stubborn. I'm a Taurus. It's very hard for my ego not to tunnel vision on the argument that I've brought to the table. So I've been encouraging him instead of, like, letting those things build up. Like, I want you to tell me when I do something that annoys you. And then we're both, like, laughing because he knows he doesn't do it. He's scared. And I'm like, but I need to be better at receiving. So we love Survivor. So just to kind of lighten the mood, I was like, okay, I'm definitely gonna need a warning when you're gonna come to give me some criticism because my ego's working on the fact that I'm not a perfect wife. So I was like, if you could just do something to let me know we're about to enter a space where I'm gon criticized, I think it would help me be able to receive it. And so he was like, okay, what if I say I'm going to call, like, tribal council? And I was like, perfect. Well, once again, a lively tribal.

[Alona Mar]

Is there anything left unsaid?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

So yesterday he, like, called tribal council, and I was like, okay. And I, like, held my palms open because I'm like, I need to receive. And he basically just. It was something about fourth of July. He's like, when I brought up this plan, you immediately shot it down and said, but what am I going to do? And I want you to know I'm thinking of you. I'm not going to abandon you on a holiday weekend, you know? And I was like, you're right. My first remark wasn't fair to you. So, I mean, that's like tmi, but I am TMI kind of gal. So ask and you'll receive.

[Alona Mar]

Right? And there's definitely a vulnerable, but vulnerableness if that's the right word about Your content too? Because, like, yeah, I mean, you're sharing it so much. Does it also help you in a way to share all that? Because I know that it helps so many other people when they see it. But I also found kind of even sharing my body, positive stuff kind of helps me in a way, like, putting it out there.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Definitely. I think you feel the weight off your shoulder because you're living authentically and, like, living with your heart on your sleeve. And I find that once I found how to be vulnerable and seek help and work on myself and then know what it's like to just live and be myself 100% of the time. You don't, like, ever want to go back. You just want to be transparent. My family, we're Greek, so we would call it, like, it is all the time. So I'm not a, like, sweep it under the rug kind of girl. So, yeah, it definitely helps me. But I've. I've certainly learned how to create some of my own little boundaries where, like, I don't go to Instagram to say I had a negative body image day that day, or I don't say we had a fight the day we had the fight. It's usually like two or three days later when I feel confident and like, I'm good in my own life. Because, as you know, you're gonna get a bunch of comments, some not. Might not be supportive, they might be critical. And I don't want to be in a state where my wound open when the world gives their opinion. So I like to be, like, three steps ahead of the thing and then I share it.

[Adriana Mar]

I think that can be applied to so much. Like, I remember growing up, if I would ever get mad at a friend or my sisters, like, my mom would always tell us, like, don't do anything right now, like, sleep on it, just because you're feeling so raw and that your reaction is going to change in a few days. So it's. I don't think of myself when I'm in that moment of, like, that's my true self. I'm like, this is me at, like, a heightened experience. Like, I gotta let myself simmer down. And I think, and especially when others are gonna comment on it, like, tenfold. Yeah, like, let yourself simmer down before you openly, like, willingly face all this, like, criticism or just comments.

[Olivia Mar]

But then it's so great how vocal you are about, like, that you give yourself that time. But does that doesn't mean, like, we're not fighting and everything. Everything's perfect. Like, I swear I've just been able to ground myself in what. What's actually important, and now I can bring it to my audience. So I think that they really both appreciate your realness, but then that you are also honest about. Like, I've taken my time. I know where my head's at. But people fight. This is how it works. That's just, like, love, and you work together to make it better.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah. And, Adriana, I think you bring up a great point about, like, the space, because I used to think, you know, never go to bed angry meant, like, always solve it the day that it happens. But sometimes you need time. Like, I remember one time Max and I were in an argument, and I was like, I'm just gonna go get our groceries. Like, I was planning to. And then when I come home, we'll finish. Because I was like, I need an hour to, like, cool off and breathe and put myself in his shoes. So I think, you know, for people out there. Yeah. Whether it's your best friend, your parents, or a relationship, it's super powerful to sleep on it and take a day and then make sure you're coming at it, like, as your best self. You know, I feel like sometimes I'll say I'm not gonna. I can't be the best version of myself right now, so I need, like, an hour.

[Alona Mar]

Thank you to TJ Maxx for sponsoring this episode of House of Mar. They literally gave us permission to just be ourselves, which I think is what we are best at.

[Adriana Mar]

So I have to ask, what's something you've done lately that felt most you?

[Alona Mar]

I would probably say walking a Runway in a bikini. And I think that doing it, you know, showing my confidence, I think helps others. Olivia, what recently has been making you feel true to you?

[Olivia Mar]

I'm beginning really into, like, solo dates. I just took myself on a. On a solo outing in New York City. Like, my goal was, look like, dress up, feel good, go get a dirty martini. Actually was also just so nice to show up for myself.

[Adriana Mar]

That's so sweet.

[Olivia Mar]

Drebaby, is there anything that has been going on in your life that just screams Audriana?

[Adriana Mar]

I think fully embracing a New York summer, making time to see my friends and doing things that get us out of our comfort zone and doing things we haven't done before.

[Olivia Mar]

I love watching you live that New York City dream.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

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[Alona Mar]

TJ Maxx didn't just sponsor this episode. They handed us the mic. So now let's get back into the episode.

[Olivia Mar]

Should we move into some tea time, everyone?

[Adriana Mar]

I think we should.

[Alona Mar]

Welcome to tea time. Let's get into it. Victoria, you are. You founded Hidden Opponent, which is an amazing platform, amazing nonprofit for mental health athletes. Mental health, which you have graciously selected me to be on the board of. Honored.

[Olivia Mar]

Honored.

[Alona Mar]

But I also want to learn more about your journey as an athlete because, I mean, we're all athletes here.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

You.

[Alona Mar]

You played D1. I've. I've played D1 and then on. And I mean, the struggles that we go through. I think I can still remember some basketball practices from high school that literally were a nightmare. So I guess, when did that start for you, this mental health in sports and knowing, like, I'm imagining you've played elite level, you know, travel ball or whatever, that really tested you.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Definitely. Real quick, I do want to say on the record, I was thinking about this this morning. Alona, we're so grateful to have you on the board. And I just was so blown away. And we'll never forget that when we were having our call about it, you were like, and I really want to be involved. Like, I don't want this to just be a title. I don't want this to just be something like, frilly. I really want to make an impact. And. And I thought that that was so badass because I do think there are athletes in prominent positions who can, you know, be doing something but not really doing it. And I think it speaks to, like, your character and how much you care about helping others and helping athletes. So I just wanted to say that out there for all your fans to know they're supporting a real one. And then to your question, I actually had a pretty great experience playing elite level volleyball in high school, and I was very confident. And it really wasn't until I got under that Spotlight of Division 1. And I think there was, like, the perfect melting pot because my freshman year, we were the number one team in the country, number one seed in the tournament, and we had the national player of the year on our team. And I Was starting as a freshman. So it was like I went from being, like, on my club team, we're like, we're crushing it. To now playing with someone who's the best college volleyball player literally standing next to me and like, holy. If I shank a pass, if I miss my serve, if I make a mistake, I can't make a mistake. You know, that's what I told myself. So I feel like I jumped into this place where the pressure was so, so high and I wasn't prepared. I didn't have the tools. I didn't even have the verbiage performance anxiety. I didn't ever think I'm someone who could become depressed. The mental health conversation felt so like, that's not going to happen to me. That as it snuck up on me and did become me and I struggle with performance anxiety and depression, I was felt like I was just my world completely flipped upside down. And that's what made me want to talk about my experience and kind of like pull up a megaphone and be like, there's an athlete mental health crisis. And this was in 2017, because I was looking at my teammates, looking at me, the girls I was playing against, like, no one's talking about this. Um, so that's really how it started, was feeling like I was completely caught off guard by my own struggles. And then when I realized, hey, I'm not flawed, I'm not a bad person. I'm someone who's in an environment that's very intense, full of pressure, and I just didn't have the tools to adapt to that and to navigate it. So once I started going to therapy and realized that, hey, this is a reality of my environment and it's totally okay to seek help the same way we would go get our ankles taped. Why not see a therapist so that you can help your mind? That's really what gave me the courage to then, like, give my tedx talk and start talking about it.

[Alona Mar]

One thing that you also talk about, well, is like, life after sport, which is something I haven't gone through yet. Like, I haven't had to define myself as not an athlete. Like, I'm still the rugby player. And I'm so. I love being the rugby player. Like, I wanted to be alone at the rugby player before it's content creator, influencer, whatever it is. So I haven't even had to figure that out yet. And I think that's something like, I'll have to tune into, you know, after L. A. Even with you, like, figuring out what your identity is. And, and how that affected you.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah, it was a journey. I similarly didn't want to give up the title. I, I felt like I. Yeah, if I'm not this USC volleyball player. Because a lot of my early business days really started because of that. Like, I was vlogging my day in the life. I was speaking at schools and it was like USC volleyball player Victoria. So the farther and farther I got removed from that, I had to realize, like, I'm. I have to be more than this and I have to find other things that I can attach to or identify with and realize that like, like I'm whole still. And it was definitely a journey, especially when I felt like I had an audience that came to me because of something. And now I'm like getting married and I'm posting about my outfit and I'm like, I'm just in a different place in life and I don't have a story to tell you about my anxiety at practice today. I don't go to practice anymore. Yeah, I went like, am I gonna be interesting to people? Are they gonna care about me anymore? Like, I really struggled with, with those thoughts. But I think at the end of the day, and I like to tell this to other student athletes or anyone who feels tied to something that's going to end eventually is like, all of the attributes that make you good at that. Are you. Like the fact that I worked well with others, I liked being a leader. I could push myself. I set a goal and I achieved it. Like, all of the things that made me a great volleyball player are still things I can do in business as a podcaster, in whatever it is, it's just not in the sport of volleyball. So I think when we feel like, oh my God, who am I now? It's not who are you? It's just what are you gonna do? Because you still possess all of those traits.

[Adriana Mar]

I never really had that transition. I stopped playing after high school and it wasn't. I was more forced to by the, by our parents. But I've been going through that recently of just. I left my position at a non profit and I've been kind of like floundering of like, what, how do I define myself? Like, that identity is gone. And it's something like I've seen with other people. Like, I've had friends who have gotten like divorced and now they're divorcees and they were so like, the titles that they had and like the identities that we give ourselves are so intertwined and once it's kind of like ripped away from you having to find your feet again.

[Olivia Mar]

Do you have any tips for people that are now navigating transitions like this? Like, what is your like number? Like you said, the other things that are great about you are what make you, you, you know, your communication with other people. Do you have any exercises that you would go through or that you might recommend it? Somebody getting divorced, somebody changing jobs, like that kind of thing?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah, you know, I honestly think the last couple years I've been exploring more like what it means to have an identity and give myself a label and like put myself in a box and realize that I can actually be so many different things. Like I'll find myself putting myself in a box of like I could tell myself, hey, you're the founder of a non profit, like a charity. Don't post this picture from a Cabo bachelorette. But then I'm like, no, I'm paving a new way where like I can be the founder of a charity and pop off with my friends like in Cabo. So I think I'm. You can be, you can do it all. Is something I would say to anyone feeling like I've got to box myself in. And then for anyone navigating like change in life, I like to tell myself that this is teaching me something and it's preparing me for whatever's coming in the future and the version I need to be in those moments. And so I. That's been something that's very, very much helped me. And then also I. I love this book called A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. This is getting very nerdy but he talks a lot about ego and self and that's been super helpful for me is. Is connecting more to like self and not so much the words that I tell myself in my head. So I guess something I'd say is pick up that book and I actually did a. It's kind of dense. So I did a read along series with my best friend on RealPod called so much to say if, if the material gets way too high level, we us, we break it down.

[Olivia Mar]

Speaking of RealPod, Alona, you were on RealPod after Tokyo, right?

[Alona Mar]

I was and I was unwell. That was a really tough time for me mentally. But yeah, I went on RealPod that was now four years ago about. I know I should watch it again because I don't remember a lot from that time. I was really in a spooky place. I should watch that and just see how I was feeling. I think it was a weird going through sport as you've probably known. I. You know, when you don't, like, you have a goal and it doesn't get there and you kind of feel like you fail miserably as athletes, it's like, well, that's it. I'm worthless. You know, I. I didn't do what I wanted. And I think that's why I'm loving what the hidden deponent is doing. Because also, what. When I remember talking to you, I thought it was interesting because being on the board, I'm one of the few who's like, no, I'm still playing. I'm still in it. I'm still every day dealing with this mental health. So I love that I can kind of bring that in as well. Because I think. And something you probably think is mental health is never, like, figured it out. All good. I am completely fine. I know how to do it. We're cured. I'm okay. I cannot wait till we're all back together for summer in Vermont. Until we get there, which hopefully is soon. I've been gathering my favorite items from Wayfair for my apartment so I can feel at home even in my ac less San Diego room.

[Olivia Mar]

I just got these cute outdoor lights for my balcony. Cause you know, I love my outdoor space.

[Adriana Mar]

Wayfair is more than just, like, their outdoor furniture. I can furnish this whole room with them. And actually, I have my. My dresser, my mattress, which I love, but I've got some more, like, decor things that I want to get.

[Olivia Mar]

You can buy anything from decor to poolside lounge chairs. Dare I say, you know, things for the beach, too. Being here in California. You can also get a grill. It's all on Wayfair. And you can buy cornhole, which, if I had enough balcony space, just maybe I would get that.

[Alona Mar]

Make sure to shop outdoor furniture, grills, lawn games, and way more for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to explore a huge outdoor selection that's W a Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. It's so wild. I mean, what made you Want to start RealPod? What made you want to talk to all these people? Yeah, like us, even I.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

It's funny. We should. You should come back on when you feel like you're in a great state, which could be now, but. And we can do, like, a little side by side. Because I felt for you during that interview, but I commended you for, like, going on a podcast, talking about where you were and, like, how cool that you have different versions of yourself documented and you don't just show up when things are going well. Like, I think that shows strength and is more admirable than people who only, like, come outside when everything smells like roses. But I started Real Pod, my podcast, because I got so much out of pulling the curtain back and saying, hey, I'm not actually well. And this is what I'm struggling with, that I wanted to invite people on to share what they are struggling with and going through. It's my favorite type of conversation to have. I feel so lucky that every time I sit down to interview someone, I'm like, yay. Be to talk about deep shit. Like, that's my favorite. So, yeah, that's really what inspired it was. I was kind of doing that on my Instagram, and then I wanted to invite other people to have the conversation. And all the time I'll have people on and then be blown away at what they decide to share what they're going through. And I've even caught myself judging them upon interviewing them and then having my mind completely opened. When you learn what they're going through.

[Olivia Mar]

I mean, I think it's. It's so important to see everybody in every stage of whatever they're feeling and whatever they're doing. And in that same time when Alona was feeling that way is when, you know, she's becoming very big on TikTok and talking about that struggle. And Adriana and I were going, it's okay. You don't have to talk about that online. You don't have to be that. Let people in that close to you. It's okay. You can be protective of your piece in your space. And Alona was like, no, but, like, this is actually what I'm feeling. Like, this is actually what I'm going through. This is actually the struggle. So I'm going to put it out there. And we were like, hey, fair. You know, and people want to see that too. Like, nobody's. Nobody's perfect.

[Alona Mar]

Being a content creator myself and putting myself out there like that, the. I get a lot. I get a lot of comments. I get a lot of trolling and hate. And, you know, I deal with it by talking to them, by, you know, having a support group around you to say, like, no, that's not true. No, don't believe that guy. How are you kind of dealing with that as well? Because I know that with putting yourself out there, you put yourself out there so vulnerably. I keep using that freaking word. But then that opens up to so much criticism and hate at times, trolling just Meanness.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah, it was very hard for me at certain times. Like if I posted something and I saw it got on the wrong side of tick tock, I would get very anxious. Like I couldn't think about anything. I remember one time I was walking into a movie and a video was going viral in like the wrong way. And I needed to leave the theater like 15 minutes in to delete the post because I was like, okay, that just like makes me feel better, like the, the hate can't be coming or whatever it was. But now I think I've been exposing myself to it more. I'm a huge believer in exposure therapy and I'm now try to get this keyword, like this little cue of like, is that so? And it's like, if someone's like, oh, she's so annoying. Is that so? And then someone's like, oh, I love her. Is that so? I'm like just letting it all try to like, flow past me and not take it so seriously. Because I really believe, you know, to believe the good reviews is to believe the bad. So the more I allow the praise to affect me, obviously on the other side of that, the negativity is going to affect me with the same weight. So I've tried to really narrow my compass down to just the people in my life who really know me. I. I know that I can count 10 people who would have my back no matter what, who would never treat me differently if a video this or a post that. So I think that that's been really helpful is now that I've been in this industry for so many years, redefining, like, who I allow to validate me and recognizing that it's okay to be misunderstood. Some people aren't gonna like me. I wish everyone liked me, but I've had to let that go. Are any of you guys people pleasers? Cause I definitely identify as one.

[Alona Mar]

Raise your hand. All hands are raised. I will say that's something that I deal with often. Even now I have have that trouble where I'm like, oh, I want people to like me. One thing that my mom said to me once that really stuck with me was like, well, you don't like everybody. And I was like, dang, that's deep, woman. But I deal with that. And I deal with that. Like, I want people to think that I'm funny. I want people to think that I'm pretty. I'm. There's so many things and you get caught up. And so it's so interesting to me. I'll get 100,000 positive comments. And then I get one mother who says something mean and I'm like, well, that's it. Well, that guy hates me. It's just, it's been, that's something I'm learning and I think I have to get better at it.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Something that might help, my therapist told me this, especially in relation to comments, is know and accept that 20 of people will always be negative, criticize and not like you 20. So when you see those comments, just tell yourself up, it's in the 20 bucket. Because, like, chances are you're never going to really be seeing more than that. You're probably seeing less. Probably like 5%. But that helps me too, is like, hey, we're starting at 80. 20. No matter who you are, you could literally be Mother Teresa. And you have. Can I say that? But you could be, you could be any person, the most angelic person, just 20% haters. So when they come up, just put them in there. That's where they go. And it's always going to be there.

[Olivia Mar]

I love that.

[Alona Mar]

Do you feel like you've gotten better at it with age? Have you felt like you've really grown to nor know yourself? Like, do you think you could have, have handled this at 24, what you're handling now?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

No, I, I definitely think that it's come with age and wisdom and therapy and working on myself. I'm 28, so I think that that's for sure been a factor. And also there's this Zoe Saldana. I think it's a tick tock sound and she's like, I love who I am. I love my struggles. I love the way I've overcome my obstacles. It's like, like all about recognizing the shitty things you've been through and how you've handled them and like, who you've become because of it. And I think I've had a lot of reflection recently of things in my life that at the time were like so devastating or so difficult or so hard, like usc. Like, if I, I'm sure at the time I was like, I just don't want any performance anxiety. I don't want to be depressed. I don't want to have an eating disorder. I just want everything to be perfect. If it was perfect, I literally wouldn't be here on this podcast with you. Like, this would not be my career. The hidden opponent wouldn't exist. Like, I think we have to, yeah, take that perspective of like, it's tough now, but it's gonna allow you to be primed in a much better way for that similar obstacle in the future.

[Adriana Mar]

I love that I think people have too many regrets, that if you regret all these things, you wouldn't be who you are, you wouldn't have gotten there. There are some valid regrets, but like, I think it's part of life in the human experience.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Do you guys have any regrets that come to mind? Because, like, I could maybe think, oh, I wish I didn't say this one thing, but genuinely, I would not rewind the clock on anything because I feel grateful to love exactly this moment.

[Olivia Mar]

I have one where like, it's actually was such a learning moment for me. I was really young and I went to the Netherlands with, with our mom and I was young, I was like first grade or something like that. And I, we were out and about doing things, seeing family, going all over the place. And one day I decided to like, just watch tv, like Dutch cartoons or something on the tv. And my mom left, go get dinner with. They asked if I wanted to come and they said. And I was like, no, I just want to watch cartoons. I was so young, but I literally remember like coming to in that moment, like snapping into existence and being like, why would I say no? They're gone now. I'm missing out on that time. Like that regret. I remember crying about it coming back, being like, I'm so sorry I didn't come to dinner with you. Like, whatever. My mom was like, what are you talking about? Like, we do dinner every night. Like, it doesn't matter. But to me it was such a forming moment where I've like, I lived in regret as a child of like, why would you not just do it? That to this day I'm like, I'm going to go do that. I'm not going to sit around and be on my phone again for two seconds or for however long. I'm going to go like, what does 80 year old Olivia want to look back and see that I did. I'm going to go do it. I'm going to. I'm here now. I'll hang out with the people. I'm going to. Oh man, I want, like, this person wants to hang out and get coffee. I'd really rather sit at home and like, I'm not doing that. I'm going to go like, that is a regret that's made me who I am. Because as a child I was like, no, don't miss out on life as it's happening because you want to watch a cartoon that you can watch at any time within reason, of course you need Time for yourself as well. But that's been a big regret of mine.

[Alona Mar]

Damn, Liv. Nah, shit. That's kind of cool. What a young. I love thinking back on our younger selves, what they've done to get to where we are now. And I mean, with you, Victoria, what your younger self has done has gotten you to the Hidden Opponent, which was backed by Kobe Bryant. And, I mean, the work that you've been doing. You've had campus captains throughout universities all over. You are changing the game for mental health. You have a collab with Adidas.

[Olivia Mar]

Yeah, I'm rocking it.

[Alona Mar]

If anybody sees for a 28. What does it take to be running a. To be a CEO? Are you CEO, Right?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I'm the founder Level.

[Alona Mar]

You're the founder.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I was the CEO for a few years, and then with a lot in the pipeline, I was like, we're gonna need someone else to do this.

[Alona Mar]

Well, how amazing. I mean, what has it taken? The way that you've grown? I can't imagine how much you've put into the Hidden Opponent.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Thank you. Thank you. It definitely has not just been me. It's been a team of people. And I know, you know, Leanne and now Suzanne. So it's been amazing to have everybody be all hands on deck. But, yeah, honestly, it. It. It's taken time and obviously slowly moving the needle every single day. I love this. Like, move the needle, Move the needle. And I think back, if you would have told me when I first founded it, you know, what do I want to happen? I would have been like, oh, I want these things, but I want them, like, in five months or this year. And I think. Think it's year five for us at the Hidden Opponent. And this feels like the beginning in a. In a. In a fun way. Like, this feels like the start of a new, exciting chapter for the nonprofit. So, you know, I think for anyone out there who's passionate about building or. Or something, knowing that it's going to take time and it might be five years down the line, you feel like you get your first break or your first. It makes sense. Or you can now hire a CEO to be a part of it, or you can assemble a board. You could build something that Alona Mar. Dec. She believes in. Right. Like, that doesn't happen overnight. That happens over years. So I think, yeah, I'm just. I'm grateful for. I'm so grateful for the. The path and the way that I was like, I have no idea what this is going to be, how to do this formally, but we're just going to google how to found a non profit how to start a non profit and we're going to file and figure it out as we go. I think nowadays people complicate things. They try to be be perfect about it. Like what's the title, what's the name? How's it gonna work? Let's do all it's like just be a good person, follow your heart, Google the thing, start it, figure it out. Like be once again be a good human and and I think you'll attract it's like build it and they will come and I think that's really what it's been about for me and I'm grateful because as we talked about in the beginning did we talk about this I feel like I now I'm at a different place in my life. We did so I'm no longer currently a student athlete. I but I'm so grateful that the hidden opponent exists and today's student athletes and college kids can be the people talking about it. They can be the leaders, they can use the platform of tho. Because I think I would be my heart would hurt if I was not able to really do work in that space anymore because I'm not like directly in it. So I've loved that it's kept me involved even though a past, a past version of me. Her struggles are like living on through now other people and professional athletes like yourself who are really spearheading this conversation.

[Olivia Mar]

I love that you mentioned like doing it anyway because we talk a lot about do it scared, you know it's going to get done. You don't know the steps but you'll figure it out. You're going to move the needle, it's going to happen any which way. But you do talk a lot about perfectionism and like how you deal with that which I love because I think anybody who makes content or is trying to make anything in the world that stops you so, so, so quickly and so the fact that you've still been able to build this despite that I think is so admirable. And one of my favorite quotes on perfectionism which has helped me with my content is perfectionism is the satin line coffin to creativity. Like you'll have the perfect coffin but your creativity is dead in there because you didn't do anything with it. You didn't just post it. You didn't just take the risk and start something and do it. So I think what you've been able to build despite is just so incredible.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Thank you. I appreciate that. I didn't Even realize how, like, bad my perfectionism was until literally recently in like a therapy session, I was like, wait, I don't have that. And she was like, yes, you do. But I've tried to catch myself, like, you know, if I'm getting way too in the details. I have an amazing brand director. I work with Jenna, and she told me once, respectfully, she's like, you and I could do this. We could write the same sentence. It's not gonna be word for word, verbatim, but the sentence is going to communicate the same thing. And like, basically she's saying it's going to be done differently if you don't do it and you can't do everything. And you have to like, you know, if you're, especially if you're growing a business, you have to delegate, do, delegate, delete. And delegation has been hard for me as a perfectionist. But then once you master it, you're like, oh, my God, this is amazing. How do I delegate, like, my life every day? Like, I don't someone else do it and let me know if it was a good day.

[Olivia Mar]

I just wanted to slide in that. Alona. When you were on Real Pod all those years ago, despite your mental state, you said out loud, what I want to do is be or is, you know, be with Sports Illustrated swimsuit.

[Alona Mar]

And here you go, manifesting. Victoria and I are manifesting.

[Olivia Mar]

You're trying to get something done. Go on Real Pod and say it out loud. Or this one.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Honestly, I had a friend say her New Year's resolution was to get engaged. She's engaged now, so the manifesting on.

[Alona Mar]

The show, it worked. What?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Come on and tell me who your dream man is.

[Adriana Mar]

Everyone gets 15 seconds to say something.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

We the Sports Illustrated. How was that? The photos were iconic. I was like gagged looking at them. You're so, like, it radiates like, the sexiness is off the charts.

[Alona Mar]

Thank you. I loved it. I felt hot as heck. I think it's like, you know, people ask, how was it being in a bikini again? I just think it's so cool to be able to showcase my body in that sort of way. And I think people really love it.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

And.

[Alona Mar]

And you do it on your channel as well. Like just showing, you know, I think that's something about us is like, my content is for, you know, muscular girls, bigger girls. Your content is for like mid sized girls. Like, I love that we can be creators for people, you know. So I was seeing it to Instagram recently of like, follow those people who look like you, who you know, you see yourself in. I think that just can be really helpful. So I love that girls can see my si. See my bikini photos if they have the same build as me and be like, okay, look at her. Like, look at her being herself, feeling confident in it. So I just think it's so cool to see the many different body types on social media, and I think we need that. I do. I do suggest to the girls out there, follow the people who you see yourself in. Follow those who aren't putting out the most perfect image, because it definitely. It definitely helps.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I literally followed someone the other day, and then I thought, is following this person gonna make me think I needed to buy new clothes every single week? And I was like, unfollow. Because I saw this video and I was like, oh, my God, I love her style. I love her haul. And then I was like, wait. But I don't. I don't think this is actually gonna make me feel good in my current life. It's gonna make me think I need the new next thing. So, yeah, curate that algorithm for you if it doesn't make you feel good block.

[Alona Mar]

How have you actually been doing with. I mean, we talk about a lot, but, like, your own body image, with being online and with. With the. I don't know if it's an epidemic, but, like, you know, the. This. This thinness epidemic and changing your body and seeing all this, how are you combating that? Or. Or, you know, how. How do you deal with it? It's hard.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

It's so hard. I saw another day. It's like, we lost another one. Like, there was a girl who I, like, loved that she had her body, and it made me feel good. And I looked to her, and I can't make assumptions, but it's not the same. And so that's. That's hard. That's hard. And honestly, at first, I was very triggered because I think my whole life, that's what I wanted. I want a magic pill that will make me lose £20. And I feel like that's basically what came out with these GLP1s. And so when it first came out, I was like, yeah, part of me was triggered, like, oh, this thing exists that I would have taken if I was 18, but now I'm. You know, I don't remember. It was like a year or two ago when this all came out. Remember when we didn't know the word ozempic? Like, can we go back to those times, please? They were historic. So at first I was triggered, and then I Was able to be like, I empathize with people who don't feel good in their body and they need to. Whatever any woman needs to do to feel good in her skin and enjoy her life, I want her to do that. I think I'm just really big on transparency. I think, you know, I've never liked when a celebrity gets plastic surgery and then I see a poor 14 year old girl in a gym doing 100 butt crunches and I'm like, sweetie, you're not gonna get the butt by doing those. Like it's, the butt's not real. But then the influencer, the celebrity is not being transparent that it's a bbl, right? So I think for me like as long as we can be authentic and transparent, that's what matters. But now I think, I think it's just more important than ever to be posting like body positive videos and showing how you look from different angles and your size of your clothes. Because I think we need that energy to remind people sometimes even myself that like we don't all have to be super stick, stick thin.

[Alona Mar]

And that's something that I do is like I post constantly body positivity because it's, it's never gonna end. Like this battle will never end. And for every time they see a video of me being positive and it's not even like body positivity, it's like I like to say body appreciation because shoot, you know, you and I both like everyone on this call. We don't love our bodies all the time, but like can we learn to appreciate it? But like I, I post a body, I post a video about that and then you know, two down is something that completely is the opposite of that. So it just feels like it's a constant battle. So I commend you for continuously putting that out there. And I, I mean I, I also though I understand how tough it is because I see these women who do change themselves and I'm like, dang. I. But it's hard, I don't know how to explain it. It's so hard.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

We've been programmed since we were literally born and we could consume media to believe that we all need to be smaller. Like literally there's no end in sight. Just be smaller, be skinnier, wear a, you know, a smaller number clothing. So it's really doing a lot of unlearning to realize that like every body is going to have a set point weight that's different and not the same and all types of bodies are beautiful and it's really like over exposing and over indexing in the other direction. Because yeah, you could spend a week on like the wrong side of Tick Tock and Instagram and that can really get in your head. But I've really set up a lot of boundaries with myself. I don't weigh myself, I don't count my calories, I don't comment on my friends bodies, I don't expect people to comment on mine. I, you know, I, like you said, I follow accounts that make me feel good about myself and I just try to take my time and reset and remember that peace with my body and food is my priority. Being at peace with your body and food I is, is what I want. Not being in a certain dress size, not being, because I, if I'm in that dress size, I'm thinking about food 24 7. Because guess what? That's not my natural weight. That's not my weight. Enjoy my life. So I always come back to what do I really want? And it's peace with my body and peace with food. And that means living my life the way I'm doing it now.

[Olivia Mar]

I think it's such a journey as a lot of us talking about like, you're always learning, your body is always changing the older you get. You're constantly meeting new versions of yourself as you keep changing and your body changes. For me, I don't weigh myself either. I, but I, I say accidentally stepped on a scale. I was, I was weighing like luggage and it was the kind of like the luggage was too big to just put on the scale. So I was like, I gotta get on that thing and then track my weight from that. I was like, let's do it. I was like, let's go girl, get on there. And I got on there and I was like, like I saw the weight and I was like, wait a second. And like of course my, your initial reaction is like panic, like freak out. Society says that's not right. But then again, I'm 5 11. There's a lot of women here. I gotta be that weight to like walk around essentially, you know. And so at first that number was really in my head and then I was looking in the mirror, I was like, okay, if that's the number, but why do I look so good though? You know? But that's taken a lot of learning and it's weird enough. I think social media has helped me because it take a while. It took a while. But I do post my body in bathing suits and I do more of that exposure therapy where at first I'd be like, oh, I don't like the way my. This arm looks here, but I wish I wasn't posing like that. But it's like, hey, that's what I look like, though.

[Alona Mar]

That's what I look like.

[Olivia Mar]

And I'm gonna put it out there. And that feels kind of rebellious in today's day and age. And maybe it's gonna help somebody else feel better about themselves, too. But I hear you.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

And I think, like, confidence is honestly the sexiest, most physically attractive thing about a person is, like, when you're just confident in who you are. And, you know, I have friends in the modeling industry who will say the most beautiful women on paper, right to society standards, are the ones on set who are, like, feeling the most insecure or still feeling like they're not perfect in some way. I've had. I had. I don't know if you guys know Emily D. Donato, but she's gorgeous. Supermodel. She was the Aqua de Gioia girl when we were growing up, and I had her on my podcast, and she was talking about how she was not fueling herself so not in a great place, being told by people she wasn't good enough for jobs. And meanwhile, I remember walking through an airport thinking, that's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. And if I could look like that girl, I'd have no problems. And then here I am years later, interviewing that girl, and she's saying, that was the worst I'd ever felt. So really, like, it's. It's. So. It's to love yourself now, to accept yourself and realize that you're. You're worthy of love now. You're worthy of enjoying your life now. Eat the food you want to eat. Move your body because it deserves to be moved, not because you hate it. You know, all of that stuff is so important to rewire.

[Alona Mar]

It is an ongoing battle, and we will keep fighting the good fight here. Everybody, strong soldiers.

[Olivia Mar]

Everyone join hands now. Okay. Okay. Everyone, welcome to our book nook.

[Alona Mar]

We're big book people too as well, Victoria and can we already kind of talked about it. But this book that you've read, Eckhart Tolle's a New Earth, do you have from it, like, one transformative idea from it that really just stuck with you or give us a little bit more about it because we are bookies.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

We want to know a hundred percent. I do. This is like my dream question. Also super fun fact, but my best friend Aubry and I were just On Oprah. Winfrey's YouTube show. She interviewed us with Eckhart about our book club podcast. So much to say. So that was really cool for us to talk to Oprah and Eckhart. IRL what was remote, but it felt like as real as it's gonna get. But here's one of my favorite quotes from his book that I love so much. It says, life will give you whatever experienced is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you're having at this moment. Did that make sense?

[Adriana Mar]

I think I need to read it a few times, but I got the general.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

It's basically. Basically, life's gonna give you what you need. And how do you know this is what you need? Because it's what life gave you. And it's like, okay, then I gotta. I gotta embrace this Also. He has another one I love that says, life will never leave you alone. I love that one because it's like, you could achieve this. Get an A on your test, get into your dream school, win a medal, and then life will life itself a week later, you know, so it's accepting that life's always gonna life. And it's about how we weather the storm.

[Alona Mar]

All right. Frick. Kind of like now is the first one. Like, everything happens for a reason kind of thing. Or am I wrong on that?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I don't really hot take. I'm not a huge believer in everything happens for a reason, because I think that's, like, if. Adriana. Yes.

[Adriana Mar]

I feel you. Well, because I think people like to pick and choose when they use that saying that, like, sometimes, like, bad things happen and there's no reason for it.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah, I agree.

[Adriana Mar]

That's. But, like, I do understand of, like, again, the experiences that they shape you into who you become, but I don't like that. It's just too overarching, I think too big of a statement.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

You get something out of everything in life a hundred percent. But to say it all happens for a reason means there's a predetermined plan and that we don't, like, happen. Have free will. If I'm gonna get really deep about it. So I don't. I don't know. I never stuck with me. I feel like people say that when you don't get, like, the job, they're like, well, everything happens for a reason. And it's like, yeah, I don't think someone's up there making you not get the job because of the next thing personally. But whatever gives people hope. And like, in their life, I think is important and however you can stay positive is important. But, yeah, I think you get something out of everything, but. Sorry, what was the question?

[Alona Mar]

No, no, that was perfect. That was perfect.

[Olivia Mar]

That was perfect. Then do you not like the expression everything happens in your favor? Because I think about both of those lines as like a. When I look back, it's like, oh, that sucked. But hey, now I. It's what we were talking about earlier. Now I am who I am because.

[Alona Mar]

I went through all that stuff.

[Olivia Mar]

So, like, was there a reason? But I do hear you on the, like, no free will question mark.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

But I think perception is so powerful and to tell yourself, everything's working out. For me, this is going to lead me to a better end game. This is going to bring me to the place I need to be. Like, I love that, that stuff. I think that's. That's a person's choice. Is the glass half full or is it half empty? Empty. And I think life is better when you think it's half full.

[Adriana Mar]

It's a beautiful way to end that.

[Alona Mar]

I don't usually read books that you learn something from, but I might take a whack at this, but it would. It'll take me some time.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

It's literally my favorite thing to geek out about. So call me if you guys start reading it and are like, what the am I reading? And then on a. On a fiction note, I am in my third book of the Acotar series.

[Alona Mar]

And there we go.

[Olivia Mar]

I was just about to ask, are we a reader? Yeah. That's amazing. What are you thinking so far?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I'm loving, definitely, like, I think the first book I, like, absolutely devoured. And then I went right into the second book because I, like, needed to know what's gonna happen next. And then the third book has been good, but I think I'm picking it up a few times a week. I'm like, I definitely want to finish it, but I'm. It's getting very complicated. There's like 40 characters. There's a war. Sorry, spoiler. But there's a lot going on.

[Alona Mar]

I felt the same way about that one too. I thought the second one was really good. And then the third one is more like, I mean, battle strategy at this point.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adriana Mar]

It slows down on the third.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I love seeing the tiktoks, though, about, like, the lead male characters. There's a hilarious one. It's so funny. But like, yeah, definitely a Rhysand Stan over here.

[Alona Mar]

A thousand percent. One of our, like, producers was Starting to read Acotar and I kind of let it slip that one character is not who she ends up with or whatnot.

[Olivia Mar]

She was like, what?

[Alona Mar]

I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

That's the biggest spoiler. I was. I was shook at that. What's so tough is because I want to Google, like, the. The. The drawings of, like, what do they think they look like? And I love the tiktoks of this is like the Summer Court and the dollar encourt. But it's so hard not to stumble across a spoiler.

[Adriana Mar]

Ask us if you ever want, like, fan art. We will find it and it'll be in our algorithms and we'll send it to you.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Okay, perfect.

[Adriana Mar]

Olivia has subscribed to many a Patreon.

[Olivia Mar]

I'm a supporter of the arts. I always have been. But, you know, specifically, like, fan art Patreons, you know, has there been a scene in Acotar or just, like, the Vibe, I guess, about any parts that have really stuck out to you? Like, why have you been enjoying it so far?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Honestly, I. Well, I love a love story, but honestly, I think people hate. On the first book, they're like, wait for the second book. The second book, I'm like, under the Mountain at the end of the first book is some of the greatest literature these eyes have ever re read. Like, I literally was, like, on the edge because, you know, you know it's gotta work out. But you're like, how? This doesn't make sense. And then there's so much left unsaid. So. So I think that was definitely one of my most riveting chapters for sure was the end of the first book.

[Adriana Mar]

And after this, you'll have to read Throat of Glass.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Okay. So down. I did all of the Housemaid series, too. The housemaid. The housemaid's watching the Housemaid. I forget the third one, but there's a movie coming out with Sydney Sweeney and that really hot guy and Amanda Seyfried, and it's about the first Housemaid book. So highly recommend reading it. You'll read it in a day if you're a reader. It's. It's so good. And then you'll be prepared for the thriller. Yeah, sure. I would say that it's not, like, hauntingly scary, but yeah, it's. It's got twists.

[Olivia Mar]

Good to know.

[Adriana Mar]

It's got some twists.

[Olivia Mar]

Real last thing on Acotar and Under the Mountain.

[Alona Mar]

Did you.

[Olivia Mar]

Did you solve the riddle before it was discovered?

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Of course not. Of course not. I'm literally.

[Olivia Mar]

Me neither.

[Alona Mar]

Girl.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

My brain, like, if you present me a riddle or a math problem, it's like it doesn't compute. Like, my brain feels like much.

[Alona Mar]

Yep.

[Olivia Mar]

A lot of people were like, it's so obvious. I was like, oh, my bad.

[Adriana Mar]

I'm gonna be honest. I skipped over it. Whenever there's a riddle or like song lyrics or anything in a book, I can't stand it. For some reason, I glazed over it, kept reading and at the end I was like, oh, maybe I could have figured it out. I just did not try.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

I think I stopped for a hot sec, like, think, think, think. And then I was like, okay, keep reading.

[Adriana Mar]

I'll figure it out eventually.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Yeah.

[Olivia Mar]

If not, it'll be revealed to me in the end.

[Adriana Mar]

Thanks so much, Victoria for coming over.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Thanks for having me. I had a blast.

[Alona Mar]

We had a great time. I mean, I feel like I am more. I feel better about myself even talking to you, something about your energy. Keep doing the great work you're doing. We will chat so much more now that we're working together on the hidden opponent. But again, appreciate you.

[Victoria Garrick Brown]

Thank you guys. You're the best. I loved being at House of Mar.

[Adriana Mar]

Well, thanks so much for coming over to the House of Mar. Everyone listening and watching WAVE original sponsored by TJ Maxx.

[Alona Mar]

Be sure to watch and subscribe on YouTube and listen wherever you get your podcasts.

[Olivia Mar]

Plus, follow the show on social media ouseofmar for clips and behind the scenes content and follow iktoriagarrickbrown and ealpod across social media. New episodes of RealPod Drop every Wednesday.