Ilona on the Pressures of the World Cup, Breaking the Dating Norms & Accepting Rejection

Summary

Podcast Title: House of Maher
Host: Wave Originals
Episode Title: Ilona on the Pressures of the World Cup, Breaking the Dating Norms & Accepting Rejection
Release Date: June 3, 2025

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1. Welcome and Setting the Scene

The episode kicks off with Ilona Maher welcoming listeners to the "House of Mar," joined by her sisters, Adrianna (“Dre Baby”) and Olivia Maher. The trio sets a casual and warm tone, discussing recent updates and sharing personal anecdotes.

Ilona (00:55): "Coming up on today's episode of House of Mar, we're talking pack four bachelorette parties and a dating update. We're also diving into a few perfect 10 butts. So stay tuned."

2. Home Life and Personal Spaces

The sisters delve into their living environments, highlighting the vibrant and colorful decor influenced by their mother’s artistic flair. They share stories about their friendship bracelets and the unique elements that make their home distinctive.

Alona (02:11): "Our house at home is not, you know, beige. It's not neutral. It is popping with color."

Olivia extends gratitude towards their mother’s knack for thrifting and collecting quirky trinkets, emphasizing the lively atmosphere of their household.

3. Ilona’s World Cup Journey and Challenges

Ilona provides an in-depth account of her recent participation in the World Cup, detailing the physical and mental strains she endured during the six-week competition period in San Diego and subsequent travels to LA, Kansas City, Australia, and New Zealand.

Ilona (09:39): "That was really tough. But it was in San Diego, so it was kind of nice because I took that time away."

She discusses the logistical challenges of assembling a national team dispersed across the country, contrasting their situation with more established teams like England and New Zealand that benefit from consistent training and better funding.

Ilona (14:16): "We're not like England or New Zealand, like a small country where players can just come together and train all the time."

Despite setting records in Kansas City with a turnout of 10,500 fans, the team faced disappointments, including losses to top-ranked teams like Canada and Australia. Ilona reflects on the impact of these results and the pressure leading up to the upcoming World Cup.

Ilona (16:02): "We have a World cup coming up here. We're gonna do the Men's and Women's World cup in America in, like, 20, 30 something. I'm like, we got work to put in, y' all."

4. Breaking Down Barriers in Women’s Sports

A significant portion of the conversation addresses the struggles of women’s rugby in gaining recognition and support. Ilona emphasizes the need for better funding and collective effort to elevate the sport's status.

Ilona (15:47): "We need it. So it's just like a daunting task. And, I mean, this World cup is also daunting."

The sisters discuss the disparity in resources between their team and more prominent sports programs, highlighting the necessity for increased community and financial backing to ensure the growth and success of women's rugby.

5. Navigating Modern Dating and Rejection

Shifting gears, the podcast explores contemporary dating challenges, including the prevalence of catcalling and the evolving dynamics of initiating conversations in relationships. Olivia shares a personal anecdote about a catcalling incident, prompting a broader discussion on societal norms and self-empowerment.

Olivia (07:27): "Sounds kind of hot, right? And the voice goes, can I have a bite?"

Ilona reflects on her approach to dating, expressing her openness to loving multiple people and rejecting traditional monogamous expectations.

Alona (43:43): "I'm pre planning my first husband, my second husband. Maybe that's where I go wrong. But I'm excited at the prospect of loving many people."

The sisters advocate for women taking more initiative in dating, challenging the double standards that often penalize women for behaviors that are socially accepted in men.

6. Bachelorette Party Chronicles

Olivia recounts her experiences attending bachelorette parties in Nashville and Scottsdale, detailing the festive atmosphere and the dynamics of being the solo woman without a partner. She humorously describes interactions with a charming man who seemed interested but ultimately did not act on his attentions.

Olivia (24:02): "He was going to the bar at one point. So I was like, oh, let me go to the Bar, too."

Adriana shares her own experience with dating apps, emphasizing the importance of making the first move and the frustration of unreciprocated interest.

Adriana (27:01): "I wonder if it really is. Is like that the... It's almost switching these days of, like, people are just changing."

7. The "Perfect 10" Segment

In a playful segment titled "Perfect 10," the sisters envision their ideal partners with humorous and unconventional flaws. They debate and adjust their ratings based on personal preferences and standards, blending humor with genuine reflections on relationship expectations.

Alona (49:12): "Perfect 10. But their entire apartment is decorated the same as mom's dining room."

This segment serves as a light-hearted exploration of what qualities they value in relationships while acknowledging the unrealistic expectations sometimes placed on partners.

8. Embracing Self-Love and Resilience

Throughout the episode, the sisters emphasize the importance of self-love, resilience in the face of rejection, and the value of supportive friendships. They encourage listeners to maintain high standards while also being open to new possibilities in relationships.

Olivia (36:55): "I am not afraid to be seen trying."

They conclude with affirmations of personal growth and the ongoing journey to balance their professional commitments with personal lives, reinforcing the theme of empowerment and self-discovery.

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Key Takeaways:

• Balancing Sports and Personal Life: Ilona Maher navigates the intense pressures of competing at the World Cup while managing personal aspirations and self-care.

• Challenges in Women's Rugby: The podcast highlights the need for better funding and support to elevate women's rugby to the prominence enjoyed by other sports.

• Modern Dating Dynamics: The sisters discuss the evolving landscape of dating, advocating for women to take more active roles in initiating relationships and addressing societal double standards.

• Importance of Support Networks: Emphasis is placed on the value of strong friendships and familial support in overcoming personal and professional challenges.

• Humor and Honesty: Through segments like "Perfect 10," the sisters use humor to explore and articulate their relationship expectations and personal preferences.

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Notable Quotes:

• Ilona (09:39): "That was really tough. But it was in San Diego, so it was kind of nice because I took that time away."

• Alona (43:43): "I'm excited at the prospect of loving many people."

• Olivia (36:55): "I am not afraid to be seen trying."

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This episode of "House of Maher" offers a candid and multifaceted look into the lives of Ilona Maher and her sisters, blending discussions on high-pressure sports environments with relatable conversations about love, dating, and personal growth. Through their engaging dialogue and shared experiences, the sisters provide valuable insights and encouragement to their audience.

Transcript

[Alona]

I don't know if I'm just going to have one love. We all, like, are looking for just, like one true love, the way it's looking out here with divorce rates.

[Adriana]

You know, Alona's pre planning a divorce.

[Alona]

I'm pre planning my first husband, my second husband. Maybe that's where I go wrong. But I'm excited at this prospect of loving many people.

[Olivia]

So she's polygod Live on house tomorrow.

[Alona]

The seven husbands of Alona Mar right here. But actually, I would just need to first get one. Welcome back to house of Mar. A wave original presented by Opel Opill. Is birth control in your control? The wi fi password is woman. Underscore up all uppercase. Make sure to check out our YouTube subscribe, like share. Do it all. I am your host, Ilona.

[Adriana]

And I'm Adriana.

[Olivia]

And I'm Olivia.

[Alona]

Welcome in to the house of Mar.

[Olivia]

Take a seat.

[Adriana]

Sit on down.

[Alona]

Coming up on today's episode of House of Mar, we're talking pack four bachelorette parties and a dating update. We're also diving into a few perfect 10 butts. So stay tuned.

[Olivia]

Ladies, where in the world are you?

[Adriana]

Well, last week we were in my apartment and I'm in my apartment again, but with such a better background.

[Olivia]

This is beautiful.

[Adriana]

New home studio, some books. We all have a bracelet over here.

[Alona]

Oh, like a friendship bracelet. Did you make those?

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Alona]

No way. You didn't? No, you did not make those.

[Adriana]

Maybe. But yeah. Lo, you're pink. I'm green. Olivia, you're purple.

[Olivia]

I do love purple, though. Thank you. I will say, I love this color green. It has the apple print that's kind of, you know, aligned with our house of Mar kind of branding. But I love this green color because it's so cozy. But also, I fear you're going to get green screened.

[Adriana]

No one green screen me.

[Olivia]

Nobody. Pull her from this and put her in any other situation. Don't put anything behind her, no matter what you do. Somebody already did it.

[Alona]

This could be fun. I'm excited. But you know what? Also about that green, that's like the color mom painted our dining room at home. It so is. Oh, my gosh.

[Olivia]

Alana. Good call.

[Alona]

Touch that. My mom, like, when we were in college, when we all were out of the house empty nesting, she was, and she just went around and, like, started fixing all sorts of things and she painted like she's somebody. Our house at home is not, you know, beige. It's not neutral. It is popping with color. So she painted our dining room like the brightest green with these, I think, strawberry drapes. And then there's so many. You've probably seen it when we zoom or when we make videos. Then there's a whole wall of, like, little signs that say, like, dinner's ready.

[Adriana]

When the smoke alarm goes off.

[Olivia]

Beware of attack, father.

[Alona]

Stuff like that.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Alona]

Yeah. So what? I mean, that's our home. Yeah.

[Adriana]

Don't count sheep. Talk to the shepherd.

[Olivia]

You should have been here yesterday. The house was clean then.

[Alona]

That's a classic. Something about wine. There's some wine ones, too.

[Adriana]

I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

[Alona]

God, that's good.

[Olivia]

Classic.

[Alona]

She loves it. Mom's gonna think we're making fun of her. We're not.

[Olivia]

Where does she buy these? Do we know? She just finds them, doesn't she?

[Adriana]

They come to her.

[Alona]

They come to her. She. Or she'll find them at, like. She's a good thrifter, you know, Mom. Mom can thrift anywhere. I mean, she. She's good at that. We have. She's also. What does she collect? She collects holy water. The little holy water things we have. That's the thing about Dutch homes. I don't know if it's Dutch homes or if it's just our Dutch family' they have the littlest little trinkets all over the place.

[Olivia]

They love a knickknack.

[Alona]

They love a knickknack.

[Olivia]

It's on the walls. Have to have things on the walls.

[Alona]

They have the walls. There's dolls. We have dolls. Creepiest dolls. Yeah.

[Olivia]

Don't. Don't call them that. They will hear you. You just have to be nice. Please, please, please. Keep the energy, keep the peace. Alona, where are you?

[Alona]

I am in Los Angeles, but only here for a little bit. Then I head to Miami, then I head to New York. Then I head to Vermont, Then I head to France. So I'm all over the place. Taking some time here to just get my bearings. I'm repacking. I was away for six weeks. Now I have to pack again to be away for, like, four more weeks. So I'm just trying to figure out what I need to bring now and also trying to take some time to myself. I've been napping. I've been going on some walks. And then I have been just chilling.

[Adriana]

You deserve it.

[Olivia]

You deserve it.

[Alona]

Thank you.

[Olivia]

I'm in New York City. I'm currently at the Moxie, Lower east side, getting all cozy, kind of, you know, vibing, curtaining, you know, you kind.

[Alona]

Of Balled out, didn't you? You bought your own hotel room.

[Olivia]

I. I don't know. I just, like, I'm at an age where I love staying with Audrana. Dre, love your apartment.

[Alona]

Thank you so much.

[Olivia]

She's been a little mad at me, I will say, but, like, I just.

[Alona]

Adriana, no. Are you really?

[Olivia]

No. She's been tight with me.

[Adriana]

You don't want to stay with me in my full size bed that has a dent on one side for me.

[Olivia]

Sleeping on that side right on the window where I hear all the construction that happens like 2am across the street from her. I don't know.

[Adriana]

There's also a parking lot.

[Alona]

She also has roommates, you know what I mean?

[Olivia]

And it's like, I love being there and, like. But I also feel like I'm encroaching on her space. Even though she, like, would prefer I be there because, like, a saving a buck. Like, you know, we're quite frugal, whatever. But I was kind of at them. Like, I'm at the age. I think I just, like, need my own space. And I think it was a really good decision for me because this is my. My little studio apartment here. I've just been like, venturing out, I'm getting my coffee and I'm walking my new neighborhood. I've also never lived down here. You know, when I lived in New York City, I was either on the Upper west side or I was in Astoria. So this is my new neighborhood. I'm just like, fully embracing it. And it's been making me very happy. I got here and immediately went to the rooftop and had a dirty martini with some French fries while the sunset.

[Alona]

Are you kidding? You were saying that you were just loving the vibe in New York. Like, you were saying that you had gone back in the winter when it was so cold, and now that you were there in the summer, you're like, this is a city of. City of life. So much happening around here. I love it. The opportunity.

[Olivia]

Like, you feel feral when it's nice in New York City. Like when the weather is finally turned and the sun is out. I literally was standing at my window, I. This gorgeous. You can't see it. There's a gorgeous view right here. I'm like, I gotta get out there. Like, I could feel. Could feel my inner, like, demons, like, needing to just have a drink somewhere and just be like. I don't know, are people more attractive here all of a sudden? I don't know. I don't know. I'm walking around the Streets.

[Alona]

Tell us the little story that you were saying about your ice cream cone.

[Olivia]

Oh. Oh.

[Alona]

Because she's. She was so funny.

[Olivia]

This is like, okay, it's not great for, like, feminism or whatever, but, like, I truly was like, I got a creamy soft serve. There's a new soft serve place down here called. I forget what it was called. It was outside. There you go. And they had pistachio. Pistachio. Pistachio creamy. I was like, I've never had that before. So I get that it's dark out. I, you know, I did my makeup. Like, I went, you know, I had my martini on the roof or whatnot. I'm just, like, walking around and it's dark and it's nice weather. I feel like, like a Lord song should be playing. Do you know what I mean? And I walk away with my creamy. And someone across the street, cat calls me. And cat calling is, like, not great, right? Until it doesn't happen in a while.

[Alona]

Okay, okay, keep going.

[Olivia]

Sounds kind of hot, right? And the voice goes, can I have a bite?

[Alona]

Right?

[Olivia]

I'm feeling cheeky. So I decide to turn and look and like, yeah, kind of a. An attractive human being. But then again, he is yelling at women on the street, so automatically, not a great person, but whatever. So I decided to be cheeky and give like a. Like, shake my head like, I'm a martini deep. I'm like, keep walking. And this man goes, I'm talking about you, not the ice cream, sir.

[Alona]

Okay, so here's the thing. Catcalling is not good. It only works if this person's slightly attractive, is what I'm hearing. True, true. Okay, so please don't keep cat calling people.

[Olivia]

Don't call people.

[Alona]

Unless I did just see a TikTok of a girl who was like, why'd you all have to stop cat calling? Some of us need that. Okay? You saw that. When did you see that one of that girl? She was like, some of us really needed that as we got older. I hear you. Well, you were probably looking great. I think if it was a less attractive person, you would have been like, how dare he?

[Olivia]

No, exactly. I've been like, call the police right now. Not a great double standard, of course, but this reminds me of. Remember in 50 Shades of Gray was like, coming out, and everyone's like, oh, it's so cool. Like, romantic and wow. Like, oh, the mystery of it all. And like, oh, the like. But then somebody was like, if this happened in a double wide trailer in the middle of Louisiana, it would be an episode of Criminal Minds, you know.

[Alona]

Like, that's the difference.

[Olivia]

Like, he's a billionaire, you know, with these kings. But if it was happening elsewhere, this would be a totally different story. You know what I mean? It's all situational.

[Adriana]

And why do we keep talking about 50 shades of gray on this?

[Olivia]

Do we keep talking about 50 Shades of Gray?

[Adriana]

Didn't we talk about this earlier?

[Olivia]

It all comes back to that.

[Alona]

No, it doesn't. Don't say that specifically.

[Adriana]

The third movie.

[Alona]

We don't even talk about it in our daily life. I don't know why I've talked about it so much on this podcast.

[Olivia]

Sorry. Like, my brain just keeps going there. Oh, my gosh. Well, Alana, you've been on the move because you have been competing in the pack four, the Pacific four. You were back. What was that? Eight weeks away? What was that?

[Alona]

Six weeks away.

[Olivia]

How are we feeling? That's a lot in the body, the mind, the spirit. Give us a little kind of update.

[Alona]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was long. First in the two weeks in San Diego. Not in a good place. Not doing well.

[Olivia]

You specifically.

[Alona]

Yes.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Adriana]

Mentally.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Alona]

Mentally was not happy. And it's funny, you can tell when I'm not happy because dad will message. My dad messaged me and was like, how are you? I have seen you haven't posted recently. And I was like, oh, no, you know, it's bad when he notices. I think it was just like the six weeks were really daunting for me that. Because you're locked in for those six weeks. Like you can't do, you know, oh, I want to go do this with friends. I want to go do this. Go to just make my own dinner. Like, you can't do stuff like that. So that was really tough. But it was in San Diego, so it was kind of nice because I took that time away. Then we went to LA for a weekend and actually, well, the. That second week I did a little tear on my hammy. So I had. I was out for a little bit and I couldn't play in that first game. And that was really frustrating because it was going to be in la. So it was a home game. Like, Olivia went. So really not. Not happy to have missed that. And then we went to Kansas City. Kansas City was really cool because we set a record there. We had like 10,500 fans out. Really cool vibe. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Really cool vibe. It definitely. People love women's sports. Love sports out there in the Midwest, and I think they're really loving women's. Sports as well. So to see them all come together to watch us and we played pretty well against Canada. Canada is like number two in the world, so they're a very good side.

[Olivia]

It was a good showing of rugby. I was there. It was a solid game of rugby.

[Alona]

It was. It was definitely pretty incredible carries.

[Olivia]

And that stadium was built for women's sports?

[Alona]

Yes, right. It was built for the Kansas City Current, which is that team there for women's soccer that's doing really well. And like, they have just great branding, I think, all around. They're really kind of doing a great things for sport as well.

[Olivia]

But what you were saying is that was because it's built for soccer. So exciting that it's for women's sports.

[Adriana]

Right.

[Olivia]

But the field conditions itself aren't necessarily the best for rugby. Right?

[Alona]

Well, the field's very hard. You know, they want the ball to bounce on the fields. Whereas instead of us, it's not balls bouncing, it's our literal bodies bouncing on the ground. Because I remember we went to like doing captains around the field and it was like, this is some solid, solid turf here. And then we from there did the flight over to Australia, which was that. That was long. That was really long. That was from Kansas City to, I think like summers in Texas. I've blocked this all out to then to Sydney, then to Canberra. So not even on the coast. We were inland. We were inland in Australia, so that was tough. And then we played Australia and then we went to New Zealand. And the thing is, is we didn't win a game.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Alona]

And that will really take some wind out of your sails, I think. Yeah, it was just really frustrating. I think we just couldn't figure out our attack. We couldn't seem to get it together. I mean, we could barely hold on to ball at times. And altogether I only played three games because I was injured for one of them. And then I missed the scrimmage we had as well. So that was really annoying because it was like, each game you're trying to get better and kind of feel it out more, but it's like hard to do within three games. But I'm happy I did it because it'll put me in the best place for World Cup. But it was definitely like a lot and definitely moved slowly. Once we got to New Zealand, I was like, okay, cool, we got a week left. But it was a long time. And I mean, it's not just for me. I mean, it was a long time for everybody, for the coaches, staff, players. But it is A World cup year. So it is kind of like, you know, different circumstances, and you kind of make sacrifices like that. But it was not easy. And when you're not getting those wins, like, you expect, like, we should have beat Japan. We've never lost them. We should have beat Japan. Canada is number two in the world. That would have been really tough, but we could have beat them as well, and then we could have beaten Australia, no doubt about it. And then wins were really taken out of our shells. When he played the Black Ferns, that was a toughie that I don't even want to say. The scoreline, you can go look that up.

[Olivia]

You can go look for that. All I say is, when that match got done, I went 80 minutes. Too many minutes. That's. That's too much rugby. I decided. I decided it's too much rugby.

[Alona]

Too much time for the other team to score tries. Really.

[Olivia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alona]

Problem there.

[Olivia]

Do you guys come together? Do you regroup? Like, how is this kind of group meshing?

[Alona]

I mean, we regroup, but, like, frick, it's very hard. Also, though, we're not. The thing is, is we're not like England or New Zealand, Like a small country where players can just come together and train all the time. Like, every week we only come together, like, two, three weeks before a game, and then we play. Like, that's not enough time. So we're really at a disadvantage here. I mean, we live all over the country. Some people live in Massachusetts, some people live up in, you know, Oregon or Florida, whatever it is. And then to get across America, it's pretty much like crossing. You're crossing a whole continent, crossing a whole ocean. You can't take trains. You have to take planes. So it's very hard to come together and kind of, you know, prep and be on the same page with stuff. So it's very, like, you wanna. We wanna regroup and we wanna get better. But also, it's like, we're such a growing sport, we're still trying to figure it out, that we're already at a disadvantage to some of these teams who can just train all the time together and who have, you know, funding from their other sides, like the England, like, New Zealand. They have very successful men's programs. They have the All Blacks, the. The English roses. So it's like they get the money filtered down from them. We're there. We're struggling. I mean, Canada's struggling. Canada women are number two in the world, and they were trying. They're trying to raise a million dollars, which sounds Like, a lot. A million dollars is nothing to fund a team that goes away so fast to help a team. And so it's just kind of. It's like, how do you go from here? I mean, it's going to take a lot of grit, and I think something needs to change because we. We could be great. We're our own worst enemy, truly.

[Olivia]

That's interesting.

[Alona]

Now, whenever I invite my family to the Games, I try not to get the free tickets. Like, I always. I make you go buy them. I don't. You know, I pay for them, but I'm like, you buy the tickets for yourself. Because I'm at a place of privilege now where I can afford these tickets, and I want to buy the seat. I want to show my support for it, even if, like, it's a small way. But we have. We have so much work to do. We have a World cup coming up here. We're gonna do the. The Men's and Women's World cup in America in, like, 20, 30 something. I'm like, we got work to put in, y' all. It is not going to be easy. Like, we. We want to be filling up stadiums, and right now it's not gonna happen, and we need it. We. So it's just, like, a daunting task. And, I mean, this World cup is also daunting. World cup is going to be, like, 10 weeks away, and it's going to be starting from, like, July 6th. So I think, like, September 22nd, we're in camp and we're battling it out, and it's. It's definitely, like, weighing on my mind, but I'm just kind of like. I hate that. I. I'm like, okay, just get through it. I don't want to just get through it. I want to enjoy it. But it has been a lot to process, and I just feel like now that I'm back, I'm like, oh, gosh. Okay, let's see if I can do it again.

[Adriana]

I remember during the Olympics, you were always reminding yourself to enjoy the little moments, that this is so special. And you were taking, like, in every. Like, every little thing. What do you think has changed now? Going into 15s and you're kind of. Is it maybe, like, too big?

[Alona]

Yeah, there's a lot of.

[Olivia]

On your shoulders, too.

[Alona]

I. I think that I'm kind of trying to figure out more my love of rugby in a way. Like, I'm trying to figure out how it fits in my life, I guess. Like, I love rugby, but I also now built a brand where there's so much other stuff happening where I don't need rugby as much and I love doing the other stuff. I love doing the media side. I love going to do this and that and like, sometimes rugby takes away from that. So I think it's just been hard because I at times don't know if I'm really doing the rugby so much for myself, you know, like, at times I think I'm kind of doing it for maybe the rugby world in general. I'm doing it for. Could even be my dad, he, you know, he, like, it's a World cup alone and you got to do it. So I think I'm trying to find my why, like, why am I in it? Because if you don't have like a reason for doing something or why, it can make it very tough. So it's been slow, but like a slow process of trying to figure that out during this pack four.

[Olivia]

I mean, part of me also feels like, yeah, you're looking for your why. But also you are quite a black and white person though. And I've talked about this before where it's like your why is there. You're going to find it. It's, it's for yourself, it's for future you, it's for the girls that haven't found rugby yet who are looking. You know, it's, you're fighting the good fight and it, but it is a lot on your shoulders. There's a lot being asked of you to continue fighting this good fight where it's like, hey, I've been doing that. Like, yeah, you know, but yeah, so.

[Alona]

I feel, yeah, it's okay. I, I'm tired. I'm excited for this month. I think we have a lot of fun things going on. So I'm like excited to take on all of that. And then I think I am excited for World Cup. I mean, it's going to be amazing time. It's, it's, I've heard, just so amazing to do. So it's going to be good. I just gotta get my little old mind right.

[Olivia]

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[Adriana]

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[Alona]

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[Adriana]

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[Alona]

Opel is available online and at most major retailers. Use code MAR for 25 off your first month of [e-mail]. that's code M A H E R at O-P-I-L-L.com. while I was, you know, away for six weeks, you, Olivia, went to a bachelorette party, which I've never been to. Tell me about it. How was it?

[Adriana]

That's right.

[Olivia]

You never been to one. It was good. This was my second bachelorette party and I think I've been to two bachelorette meccas in the United States of America. Nashville, Tennessee and Scottsdale, Arizona.

[Alona]

Like, both of those places where you.

[Olivia]

Can'T throw a rock without hitting a bachelor or bachelorette party. And matching shirts, you know, with penis paraphernalia all over the place.

[Adriana]

Right.

[Olivia]

I will say, I love, you know, you hear a lot about like, drama when it comes to these. When you combine so many different people and, you know, friends from different walks of your life and whatnot. But I love stuff like that. I think maybe I just like, I like people. I like being kind of the bell of the ball and like, making people like the person that's there to make people giggle or, you know, help over here. If I can, I'll make the drink. So I'll do this. But also, I love things that are supposed to be fun, like theme parks and Niagara Falls and, you know, stuff like that. Like, I love that. And so I think I thrive in places like Nashville or Scottsdale where it's just so built, like the infrastructure is for, you know, places like this.

[Adriana]

You're the ideal tourist.

[Olivia]

No, thank you so much. I love a tourist trap. Except for like a wax museum. I've never been into one of those.

[Adriana]

Sorry, Madame Tussauds.

[Olivia]

Yeah, you can keep that Madame Tussaud. I guess I don't see the point in a wax museum. Like, I, I don't know, maybe. I also. It's not that I don't care about the people they've put into wax, but like, I don't.

[Adriana]

That they've put into wax. They are dipping these celebrities in wax. Unless you want to make a wax of Alonamar. Then I would go to Madame Tussauds.

[Olivia]

That's true. But please don't dip her. We need her here. She has to carry the river.

[Alona]

Hold me back. My heel.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Adriana]

Achilles style.

[Alona]

Achilles style.

[Olivia]

Into the river of wax sticks. But. So it was good. It was, it was for my best friend. And we did like classic pedal bike tours where you drink, you like, you do this, that, the other thing. It was fun. I love stuff like that. But then I will say I was the only person. I realized at one point I was the only woman on this trip that didn't have a partner or a husband or a wife or a boyfriend, you know, so that was a bit interesting. I don't know. I guess.

[Alona]

What made you realize that I just.

[Olivia]

Kind of looked around and I kind of took stock of all the women around me and I was like, oh, that person had that. But that doesn't say anything about me. I. I was having a great all time. I was. I've never, I think as I've gotten older, you know, thankfully you unlearn, I guess, sendering the male gaze a bit. Especially like being at bars, you're like looking to catch the eye or like, whatever. I just like danced. I just shook my ass with my best friend and we boogied on down. I will say there is a little bit that still there was like. But I'm like, what's up with men? I don't know. I wanted to ask you. Like, men don't come up and ask or talk to you anymore. Or maybe it's just a me thing. Maybe I'm like shaking too much ass. Like that's too intimidating to try to approach. But like, there was this cute guy, tall, nicely dressed, who was with a bachelor party. And the, the groom of that bachelor party came up to our group, talked to our bride and was like, oh, you guys, like, I'm getting married too. Like, my friend will buy you guys around if you want. It was like, oh, how fun. Because it's so bachelor bachelorette culture there. And there's the guy that was going to buy the round. He was like cute, well dressed, he was tall. They were just like dancing, right?

[Alona]

And.

[Olivia]

And he went to the bar at one point. So I was like, oh, let me go to the Bar, too. So I, like, saddled up next to him at the bar and kind of, like, gave, like, a look, and he looked right at me and then, like, looked away as we. I was like, okay, well, never mind. Like, I was seeing something that apparently wasn't actually happening. Like, I thought maybe he had been looking at me or not.

[Alona]

And as we left, one of.

[Olivia]

One of the other bachelorettes on this trip was like. Was like, oh, my gosh, that guy.

[Alona]

Kept looking at you? Did you guys talk?

[Olivia]

I was like, wait, what? You saw it, too? This guy kept looking at me, like, kept trying to, like, look at me, like, interact with me. But then I gave him. I busted open the door to interact with me. I went. I saddled up to the bar next to him when he was away from his friends and alone ordering a drink. And I, like, made myself. I don't. Like, what else can you do? Like, granted, I guess I could have said, hi, how are you? I don't know why I didn't. But I just. I guess I was like. I made that move, like, you know, meet me the other, like, 75% of the way or whatever it is. You know? So that was, like, really frustrating. I was like, wait, what's up? But then again, hey, everyone has their reasons. I was maybe seeing something, but the fact that. And then another girl was like, yeah, that guy kept staring at you. I was like, whoa, what the hell?

[Alona]

That reminds me of that tik tock sound.

[Olivia]

Which.

[Alona]

I don't know if I can say this on this podcast, but, oh, where's my dick at? Because it is. It is becoming like that. Like, I think that there's a shift in it. And honestly, women have to take more of the reins in a way. I don't know if it's like the change in culture, the men wanting to be politically correct or something like that, but you did take. You did take control, and that was a perfect opening. I think he's either dumb or he is seeing somebody who's just a little.

[Olivia]

Oh, interesting.

[Alona]

A little kooky. It's definitely. I think it is going to. For all the women listening. I think it's going to take us kind of now we're growing. We're pussy power. Can I say these words on this podcast?

[Olivia]

Yes. I say yes.

[Alona]

Yes. Yeah, I think it's going to be like.

[Olivia]

Let us know in the comments.

[Alona]

Let us know in the comments. If you think we say. I think it's about, like, now. Big, big energy. Like, we've got to kind of put ourselves out There a little more and, like, be the ones to go up to them. I would. Maybe we should have a man on and ask him what that's like. Why don't they do that?

[Adriana]

A dating expert.

[Olivia]

Dating expert. Man that would like to come on this podcast.

[Alona]

Because we do need that.

[Adriana]

I'm actually.

[Olivia]

But if a man is a dating expert, does that mean he's actually an expert?

[Alona]

I don't know. Maybe that'd be the interesting thing.

[Adriana]

I can't remember many times if, like, I've been approached and that has been, like, hard on my self confidence because I've seen. I've seen it happen to my friends specifically. Like, these two friends that are, like, drop dead gorgeous, like, fit all the beauty standards, like, petite and, like, when we're out together and, like, they are getting so much attention, it can be, like, almost, like, hard on me. Like, obviously I'm not, like, harping on them, but I'm always just like, why doesn't that happen to me?

[Alona]

Yeah.

[Adriana]

And I think I'm like, am I, like, intimidating somehow? Am I putting off, like, a certain vibe? I like to be like, it's just my height. I guess I'm just too broad of shoulders for someone to approach me. But, like, I've been approached by women. And so I wonder if it really is. Is like that the. It's almost switching these days of, like, people are just changing.

[Olivia]

Yeah, it's changing. I just want to say that we fully just turned it right here into tea time. We're just right. This is. This is the real tea of this episode. We're in tea time now. But I just. I hear you, Luna. On. Maybe we need to change. Maybe we need to, like, you know, I get. Not make concessions as women and, like, you know, maybe start to initiate more. But it's like, yeah, but the kind of guy I don't want to be with would initiate with me. Like, but, Adriana, I know you.

[Adriana]

Oh, my God, you think the other way too.

[Olivia]

She's pissed. She's. She's not happy at me.

[Adriana]

Olivia was on a dating app and getting so annoyed that no one was messaging her first, which that is annoying. But you were refusing to message anyone else first.

[Olivia]

Okay, background this dating app. Like, I had a connect. I made a connection, and it was like, hurry, You've got seven days to message so and so before it expires. I was like, correction. So and so has seven days to message me. Are you out of your minds? And Adriana thinks that that's the totally wrong headspace to approach it from.

[Adriana]

Because I just think you're. As we're discussing right now, people aren't always reaching out first that you have to make that first move. And I don't think it's a big concession to make of just, like, sending a quick message of, like, just mess. Like, something about their profile to be like, I don't even know. I can't come up with anything. But I often do that. Of, like, just responding to a prompt because oftentimes, if I will go through my likes and I'll have eight matches, and if I don't say anything first, only one person, well, then go back and say something to me, and I'm like, yes, I would love someone to say something first. But I also don't think it's, like, anything against them for not doing that. Maybe that they just aren't on the app so much or just, like, they're not. I'm not motivated for it, so how can I expect them to be motivated? Okay, so, like, I don't think it's that much effort to just be like, hey, I also love blank band.

[Olivia]

That's true. That's, like, minimal effort. I do like that. Well, you, Dre, you were supposed to go on a date you told us about at a Yankees game. Oh, that's a cheeky smile. What's going on?

[Adriana]

No, that didn't happen.

[Olivia]

Oh.

[Adriana]

See, I got back to New York, and then I didn't. I didn't reach out. But then he reached out.

[Olivia]

So how we gonna be preaching at me about outreach anyway?

[Adriana]

Hey, I'm not perfect.

[Alona]

Okay?

[Adriana]

But then he reached out to me, and it was like, after the Knicks won a game, and I think he was a little drunk, and he was like, the Knicks just won. Yankees soon, question mark. And so I went back to his profile. I scrolled through, and I saw something I didn't like. So that was my excuse to not, okay, fair. But I did go to a Yankee skiing with my friend.

[Olivia]

Awesome.

[Adriana]

Actually, the other day, I open hinge. This was yesterday, and I hadn't been on the app in so long, all of my previous messages had gone like. Because they not expire, but they got like, hide it. If you haven't messaged anyone in enough time.

[Olivia]

So it's been like that, huh?

[Adriana]

It's been like that. It's been. It's been dry.

[Olivia]

Alona, you. You famously have reached out to people first.

[Alona]

Yeah, Looks where I got. Looks where it's gotten me. Okay, wait. Let's tee this up, though. Okay, so our producer wants Us to do, like, a new segment called. Which is when you know you've swiped on all the dating apps, you've been on many bad dates. And we're gonna start a segment where we go over those words. Could be like, to mm. So, guys, we need to start putting in work, because I don't know if mine's ever gonna go from oh to mm. Right now, I'm at. I will say no. I am a person who does. I. I have shot some shots, and a lot have landed recently. I shot a shot at this guy that I used to see, and very weird reception. Just, like, not a good reception to it. Like, I. Yeah, Olivia just made it.

[Adriana]

If you were.

[Alona]

If you're listening, she just said, like, I tried to shoot. It was absolutely denied.

[Olivia]

Stuffed.

[Alona]

It was very weird, though, like, the way that he went about it. And I think that goes more to. I. I don't really know. Like, I think rejection. I'm kind of getting more okay with rejection in a way and, like, being all right with that. It's like, it's not maybe reflection on me. I think also I'm okay with rejection because I have girls, like my sisters and all my teammates and my mom who are like, no, they. They're sounding boards. And I almost wish sometimes men had, like, sounding boards like that, like, they could bounce things off of people, bounce things off of their friends. Because it was just a really interesting interaction that didn't really, like. I think he was trying to convey something that he didn't convey well through, like, texting. I was like, why are we texting this? First off? This all could have been said in person, but that, like, not really took the wind out of my sails, but I was like, I just don't have time right now. I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna focus energy on that. For. I was, like. I was willing to kind of put in some energy and, you know, go see him or whatever, but it was a very interesting interaction to the point where I'm like, I just don't have time for that. I want somebody who I guess, like, I feel secure in and who. Who. They feel secure in who they are with me as well. And thankfully, I have you guys who make me feel so good. Because, like, I just think a lot of women and our interactions we're having with men are leaving bad tastes in our mouth. And I just. It's so funny, like, how much I love my female friends because the way that we talk, the way that we, like, are together. I just. I wish men had that so they could bounce some things off of them.

[Olivia]

And I think everything you're saying is. I mean, have you guys been hearing about this male loneliness epidemic?

[Alona]

Oh, I think I've read something yet.

[Olivia]

Give me a break.

[Adriana]

You've read it. You watched it?

[Alona]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

You saw it on TikTok. It's like, go talk to somebody. Go be a good human being. Go forge a connection.

[Alona]

Like, right.

[Olivia]

It's not easy. It's not easy, but it's worth it, and it's necessary. And, like, we need each other as humans. We right, literally need one another. Adriana and I just went to, you know, Cherry Bomb Jubilee. Gloria Steinem was the keynote speaker, and she was talking all about how much we as humans need one another, to the point that the. There's no reason that the highest form of punishment for a human being is solitary confinement. That is the highest form of punishment, I mean, I guess, besides death, but, like, do you know what I mean?

[Alona]

Like, that's.

[Olivia]

We need one another. Like, what do you mean, you're lonely? There's so many people. There's so many means to communicate with one another.

[Alona]

Like, yeah, go do that.

[Olivia]

Go. And, like, having people in your life makes you a better person. They hold you accountable. They. They tell you when things are good or what, bad. And you look at that and you see that off of other people, too, and you learn and, like, no, but, like, we shouldn't all be the same, but we should all treat one another the way we want to be treated. Sorry to go all veggie tales on this, but, like, come on.

[Alona]

I will say, like, men have friends, right? But they don't have friends that they get deeper with.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Alona]

You know, they can share this stuff with. Like, even what this guy was messaging me, I was like, I wish you had a woman, and you could just, like, show your. These texts to a lady. Like, show what you're saying to me to a woman. Like, there was passive aggressiveness in there. There was some other stuff. And. And I know we're all saying this. If he listens to this. Look, buddy. I'm calling him buddy. Men hate when I do that. I really was vulnerable. I tried to be very vulnerable. I wanted to, like, you know, come see you. And then I was just met with, like, passive aggression, like, kind of saying all these things that maybe we did when we were seeing each other. And I was like, okay, like, I'm not gonna put up with this. And I really put myself out there knowing I could be rejected, knowing I could. Things could have Worked out. And it hurt. I mean, it hurt what he was, like, saying to me, and I was like, I just wish you had a woman who you could show this to.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Alona]

And be like. And I never came back with him, at him with anything like that, like, anything mean or whatever, because I was like, no, I'm not gonna stoop to that. And I just think that the men aren't having these relationships where they can say what they're feeling or it's. They're still. There's still the stigma around, you know, being emotional or whatnot, where they can.

[Olivia]

Be vulnerable and where they can, like, learn to be a better person. But I will say, like, in a situation like that, it sucks, but, like, everyone tells on themselves. He showed you exactly who he was, and now you will never have to worry or wonder about that down the line, you know?

[Alona]

Like, I think it was good. It took away the what ifs. It took away any regrets or anything like that. Like, oh, maybe that could have. He could have been the one. Well, yeah, I did. I did what I thought, you know, was best, and it. You know, it didn't work out. So that's okay. Like, I think we have to be wit now as women. I'm sorry, ladies. Get your. Get your pussy energy up. It's okay to be rejected. It's okay. It is. It's not a thing on you. And if it feels like it's on you, go talk to your lady friend.

[Olivia]

And I want to say one of my favorite quotes. And, Dre, you. You said a quote similar. Like this. Similar to this once. But I love this one is, I am not afraid to be seen trying.

[Alona]

Sorry.

[Adriana]

I just remember the context in which I said that. Yeah.

[Alona]

What was the context?

[Adriana]

Her was going through it.

[Olivia]

You were going through it, and yours was users. Do it scared, right?

[Adriana]

Do it scared.

[Olivia]

Do it scared. But in this one, it's like, I am not afraid to be seen trying. Like, you put yourself out there. You. That was vault that you put yourself in such a vulnerable position.

[Alona]

Right.

[Olivia]

But you made yourself a better person for it, and you didn't stoop to anybody's level. And you. You're trying. We're on this earth to try and to get to know one another. And, like, you weren't afraid to do that, and that takes a lot of guts. So, like, good for you.

[Adriana]

I think rejection can be beautiful in a sense of, like, that you put yourself out there, you know? Like, I think rejection is part of being human, the human experience. And, like, you didn't let Life pass you by, you went for it. And although it didn't pan out, be proud of yourself.

[Olivia]

Was it, was it rejection or redirection?

[Alona]

Hey, and you know what's funny guys is you know how we're not really religious, but I get these tiktoks of like, like tiktoks that are like, don't worry, queen, God wouldn't have put that in your life if he didn't want. Or like, or like, you know, these things that are like, God did this. I'm like, shoot, maybe he did do this for me. Maybe he is really let me up.

[Olivia]

Thank. But here's what. Thank God for the prayers he didn't answer.

[Alona]

There it is. That's it. I think I literally like the tick tock that said that.

[Olivia]

I think mom has said that before to me before. Like, and, but it's also like, you know, doors closing, windows opening and all that. Like, there's always something else.

[Alona]

And that's one of the other one that's very like, that is like, thank God I didn't get what I thought I wanted. And I like, I like that one is because like, like this dating segment, it's going to be probably for a while for me. I'm going to be busy for a long time, but it's okay in a way. I mean, I'm not willing to sacrifice what I have and how cool everything is that I'm doing. I do believe it's gonna happen. Like, our Oma didn't meet her, the love of her life until she was 32. And when you think about it, in her days, everybody was getting married.

[Olivia]

Yeah, that's crazy. But it's like.

[Adriana]

And if you're over 32, it'll still happen.

[Alona]

It'll still. 32 is not the cutoff. Everybody. Sorry about that. But I do feel that, I do feel like that's kind of cool. A lot of the women in our lives didn't get married until later and they're still married. Our mom not till 28. 28. Alma, 32. Like, we got time and I think that's what we just know. We have time. We have such ladies who show us great examples of that.

[Olivia]

Yeah, we have those timelines are made up. There's so much life to live and I feel like I know myself so well and I continue to learn so much more about myself because I am by myself. You know, I've had long term partners and whatnot. And you do learn a lot about yourself in a relationship. But I feel so blessed for this time. To just be doing me.

[Alona]

I am.

[Olivia]

I am settling so wonderfully and cozy into myself. And timelines don't exist. I get that, like, with the female body, there are like physical timelines when it comes to, like, you know, child rearing and whatnot. But, like relationship and hitting. These benchmarks do not exist. So I'm excited about this segment, though I do think. I don't think it's all. It's not. This isn't going to be linear. It's not going to go. I think it's going to be. You know what I mean? But that's life. And I think there'll be some fun things along the way.

[Adriana]

I will say our cousin got engaged this past weekend and she's my age. I open hinge. I was like, I gotta get on this.

[Alona]

Oh, my gosh, that's so cool.

[Olivia]

Okay, I gotta lock in that long term.

[Adriana]

Looking for open a short goodbye.

[Alona]

That is a thing, though, around us, like, a lot of family friends of ours, you know, cousins, they're like all engaged or married. And then it's just like the three mar girls.

[Olivia]

Like.

[Adriana]

I was talking to dad when I was home in Vermont and I was like, I was kind of joking and I was like, are you worried that all three of your daughters are single?

[Olivia]

Bold.

[Adriana]

This man took that seriously. And he was like, you know, sometimes I'm worried that your standards may be too high. Oh, but at least you haven't settled with someone who doesn't truly suit you.

[Olivia]

Okay?

[Adriana]

So I was like, okay, okay, Bringing me up, bring me down.

[Olivia]

You know? You know what? Get him on the pod.

[Alona]

I gotta. I want to know what he, what he means. What does he mean by standards? That's because of you, motherfucker.

[Olivia]

Yeah. Yeah. What's the thing about having the opposite of daddy issues? You actually think men are good people because your dad's a good person. You know what I mean? Like the hell?

[Alona]

I don't even think my standards are that high. Honestly, guys. I think they lower each year, to be honest. I think I keep letting more and more slide.

[Olivia]

No, you can't. You can't do that.

[Alona]

I'm like, well, okay.

[Olivia]

Breakups are hard, right? But, like, better to go through the heartbreak of a. Of a breakup than go through the heartbreak of walking down the aisle and people feeling bad for you. You know, like, you're just like, no. Oh, nightmare.

[Alona]

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[Adriana]

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[Alona]

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[Olivia]

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[Adriana]

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[Olivia]

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[Alona]

Use code MAR for 25% off your first month of [e-mail] that's code M A H E R at O P I L l dot you know what? Also, and this is a deep take, I don't know if I'm just gonna have one love like I think we all like are looking for just like one true love.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Alona]

The way it's looking out here with.

[Adriana]

Divorce rates, you know, alone is pre planning a divorce.

[Alona]

I'm pre planning my first husband, my second husband, maybe that's where I go wrong. But I. I'm excited at this prospect of loving many people. You know what I'm saying?

[Olivia]

So she's polygode.

[Alona]

Yeah, that's new. You heard it here first live on House. I'm reverse hair minion.

[Adriana]

Ethically non monogamous.

[Alona]

Ethically non monogamous. Reverse harem. Wmm. No wait, what is it? Fmm. Female Male. Male love. Hey, that's me. That's actually gold. Why choose?

[Olivia]

Why choose? Right?

[Alona]

The seven husbands of Alon Amar right here. Actually kind of. You know what, that sounds great and I kind of want that the seven husbands. But actually I would just need to first get one. Yeah, let's start there. That is not going well, so, yeah, let's go.

[Adriana]

I think it'll be kind of like dominoes. Once you get one, then they're gonna keep coming.

[Alona]

Well, have you found that though? There's like phases of life. Like, I'll be like, I'll go months, months without any interest. And then all of a sudden I'll get like a week or two weeks of just people flooding my DMs, everybody wants a piece of this. And then dead silent. You guys haven't been in this scene. Like, I have.

[Olivia]

Really? I ain't been. I ain't been on the streets.

[Alona]

You guys haven't been in this game.

[Olivia]

I've been on these streets. I've been currency of youth. That's where I'm at.

[Alona]

No, you're not.

[Olivia]

I am.

[Alona]

No, you're not. You literally are the most beautiful thing you've ever been in your 30s, you know you are.

[Olivia]

Thank you so much. I do feel that way. But how do other people perceive me? Do I. Do I get perceived as 30? Which is fine because I am. But I guess in Scottsdale or like when I do go out to bars and nobody's coming up to me, I'm kind of like, right, I am 30. Like, is that affecting men's like, not that. Like I don't want a man that doesn't want a 30 year old. You know what I mean? But what I'm saying is the last time I was single, I was 24, 25, like, you know, hitting bars and whatnot. And like that was a whole other phase of my life. And I'm now here grappling with the currency abuse. Is that real? I don't know.

[Alona]

I don't think you have to grab that. I think you're fine. I even think few what I've seen on Tick Tock women are going for younger men. Something should I try that could be.

[Adriana]

I think you would eat them up and spit them out.

[Alona]

And some would love that.

[Olivia]

You know the movie how to be Single? Her nurse sister or doctor sister, she like meets that younger guy. I love that storyline. I don't know why. Why am I picturing that?

[Alona]

Well, let's manifest that for you. But not the pregnancy part.

[Olivia]

Mine, this the pregnancy part. But like a good guy who loves you. Younger and cool.

[Alona]

Manifest. Do you guys believe in manifestation? I don't know if I do, but sometimes I just pretend like I do it before bed. I'm like, man. Like, I think I managed my man 11 times. Yeah, seven husbands. Seven husbands.

[Olivia]

I get back to my apartment, you've just written seven husbands all over the walls.

[Alona]

On the walls.

[Olivia]

No.

[Alona]

We'll keep you updated with that segment. Guys, we are busy this month, so that may be tough. For example, we're going to Miami. We're all getting spray tans. Yes. And then actually, Johnna, though, is being rubbed down by Olivia.

[Adriana]

There is no more spray tan slots in New York. Well, Manhattan. And so I was like, I'll just buy a bottle. Libby, can you rub me down?

[Olivia]

Yeah. She was stressing me out. She was like, oh, there's no time because we're doing it like, before we fly.

[Adriana]

Olivia's getting a spray tan at 9am Our flight is at 1:30. So she's going to sit in the spray tan until we get to Miami.

[Olivia]

I'm a marinade.

[Adriana]

She got the last 9am slot in.

[Olivia]

All of Manhattan, to which stress age on out. And then she started stressing me out and I was like, just buy the stuff. I'll rub you down. Like, come on.

[Alona]

I'm. I'm spooked for how John is going to look. I don't know.

[Adriana]

I've never had a fake tan of any sort, like.

[Alona]

Or a tan of any kind too. What?

[Olivia]

Oh, were you silent?

[Adriana]

I got the lightest shade possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I called up my friend who does, like, fake tans on her, and I was like, tell me everything. And she's like, she sent me the links and it was for the lightest shade. And she's like, this color would look smart.

[Olivia]

Okay, good. Does she know your undertones?

[Adriana]

Yeah.

[Alona]

Okay, good.

[Adriana]

I hope so. It's really just pink. Just pink? You look at me from like, five blocks away. That's a pink person.

[Alona]

Don't worry, Adriana. I'll bring in my light and I'll make sure Olivia doesn't miss a spot on you.

[Adriana]

Brilliant. I'm excited. I got a glove and everything. I exfoliated in the shower today. Shaved everything down because that's what the Internet told me to do.

[Olivia]

I'm so proud of you.

[Alona]

Yes, you should worry.

[Adriana]

New razor too.

[Alona]

You'll still be able splurging.

[Olivia]

So should we wind this down, guys? This is the part of the episode where we just kind of slow things down. And today we're gonna do a round of perfect 10. But this is the part of the.

[Adriana]

Show where we envision a perfect partner, perfect friend, perfect iced latte. But they've all got one unusual flaw.

[Alona]

Wait, let's also be about this. Remember, dad said our standards are too high. Oh, let's take that into Consideration.

[Adriana]

As we're doing this, I'm holding that.

[Alona]

Hold that.

[Olivia]

Holding space for my dad's opinion on my dating life. Okay.

[Adriana]

Okay. Perfect 10. But their entire apartment is decorated the same as mom's dining room.

[Alona]

I don't think any man would do that.

[Olivia]

Yeah, I think that actually raises a flag if it is because he stalked you.

[Adriana]

No, same vibe. Same vibe. I love it. That's a cozy vibe because that's homey to me. That I'm just like, are we meant to be?

[Alona]

Are we.

[Adriana]

Are we faded?

[Olivia]

Is that not a gay man?

[Alona]

Is that not a gay man?

[Adriana]

Or is it like that one episode of Sex and the City with Charlotte and that not gay straight man, and they were actually working so well together, but then he couldn't kill a bug.

[Alona]

Oh, I remember that. Yeah, that might freak me out a little bit.

[Olivia]

I mean, sorry to my dad, but I'm gonna be picky on this one.

[Alona]

Like, same vibes as moms.

[Adriana]

Yeah, same vibes.

[Alona]

Seven.

[Olivia]

So going from 10 to like a six, probably.

[Alona]

Yeah, I'll go seven.

[Adriana]

That's like a slap in mom's face.

[Olivia]

No, I love my mother.

[Alona]

I don't love a woman's chicken. That's a woman's space.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Adriana]

All I'm hearing is gender stereotypes, Adriana.

[Alona]

Fine, put them on me. Perfect 10. But their dog doesn't like you.

[Adriana]

I don't like the dog.

[Olivia]

I've been here before. I don't like it. I don't.

[Alona]

It's tough because they love the dog people.

[Olivia]

Yeah, it's tough alone. I mean, maybe it's perfect for you. This is a. That's like a poly relationship. That's a three. That's a. There's three people in that relationship.

[Alona]

Right.

[Olivia]

Dog means the world to them. And it's not that you're competing with it, but like, yeah, time wise, their obligations, what their responsibilities are, and if the dog doesn't like you, I know.

[Adriana]

You have to clean up its shit.

[Alona]

Then could you be the type to be like, where? Where was it? Where it was like, me or the dog? You know, I don't think I could do that. Where I'd be like, it's me or the dog. I'd be like, I'll probably see myself out.

[Olivia]

I would never say that. Just be a good human and, like, choose the person. You. You choose a human. You know what I mean? To love and priority.

[Alona]

That is me or the dog. You just did. You just did that.

[Olivia]

No, exactly. I don't have to say that to them. So I guess I'll just show myself out if I feel those vibes.

[Alona]

Right.

[Olivia]

Does that make sense?

[Alona]

Right?

[Adriana]

Okay.

[Olivia]

I don't know. So I think I'm gonna take it down to like a seven.

[Adriana]

I think I'll go like eight.

[Alona]

Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna not go too far down. I'd go seven or eight.

[Olivia]

Wow.

[Alona]

We can get together at my place. Maybe the dog and I can go to training together.

[Olivia]

Right? Right.

[Alona]

I'll just feed them and hopefully spend some quality time. We'll see.

[Adriana]

We don't need a cuddle. It's fine.

[Olivia]

That's. But that's also feels weird because, like, I love dogs and dogs typically love me, so that feels weird if the dog doesn't like me.

[Adriana]

Okay. Flex.

[Alona]

Just saying.

[Adriana]

Love me, dogs love me.

[Alona]

Walk around with dogs.

[Adriana]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Perfect ten. But they make six figures and still Venmo request you for a five dollar cold brew to keep things even. This is a. This is a good one. I feel like there's a lot on either side of this.

[Adriana]

I don't.

[Alona]

Like three, four. What?

[Adriana]

We're in a committed relationship and not.

[Alona]

Even a committed relationship.

[Adriana]

Oh, okay.

[Alona]

Yeah. We could be on a. A second date and they Venmo me for that. I would pay the Venmo and never talk to them again, period.

[Olivia]

I love that.

[Alona]

And then I would make fun of them and then they'd probably be insecure.

[Olivia]

I think we also, we come from, like, mom and dad are so, like, open about that. It's like, you guys are. You guys are. You guys are in this together. It's not tit for tat.

[Alona]

Right.

[Olivia]

You're here to support one another, and it's like, I scratch your back, you scratch mine. I have friendships like that. It's beautiful. Like, I'll grab a drink.

[Alona]

You grab. I just know you'll get the next one.

[Olivia]

We're friends for life. You're gonna pick it up somehow. Like, it all comes out in the wash. Don't Venmo me for a five dollar cold brew to keep things even. I'm riding off into the sunset without you.

[Alona]

What if. Okay, what if we take the six figures out of that, though we don't know what they make.

[Adriana]

I still think that it should go like one person, then the next person pays. It should go off on.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Adriana]

Like, just because. Well, that place, their coffee is three bucks, but the other place, it's 350. So really they're spending 50 cents more. Like, who the fuck cares?

[Olivia]

Right? Right. So I. I'm bringing this way down. I'm going three.

[Adriana]

Whoa.

[Alona]

Yeah, same.

[Adriana]

I'm going to go five.

[Alona]

Perfect. Ten. But they always take meetings, calls when you're on a date. Sorry, I got to take this. I mean, maybe he's a working man. He'd just be. He'd be getting his money.

[Olivia]

Yeah. And it's.

[Alona]

He's in a bag. He's in his bag. He's bringing it. He's bringing his bag in.

[Adriana]

But that can be very frustrating and, like, especially if it's happening a lot. And it could also be a case of they're just not respecting your time. Like, it maybe not. Maybe it's not that important. And it could wait two hours.

[Olivia]

I think if there was clear communication from the get. Hey, this is what my job consists of. I have to do a lot of this. And, like, you need, like, I need to be with someone who kind of understands that, that that's like, I need to step away and do this. If there's clear communications and you know what you're signing up for and that that's going to happen, I think that that makes it a little bit better. But then there still needs to be some compromise from that person to be, like, to find time where they can carve out where it's protected, just the two of you, you know, like. And so I think. I think with clear, clear, clear communication and you needing to be okay with that as well, then it's not as bad. I've had jobs where I'm always on my phone and I'm not. I need to step over here and do this. And I'm always so thankful to the people around me that understand I'm just trying to do my job.

[Adriana]

All right, eight.

[Olivia]

Oh, wow. I really sold that. I didn't mean to sell it so much, but, Yeah, I think eight.

[Adriana]

Eight solid.

[Alona]

Do you have a perfect 10? But you want us to debate on the show? Comment on the YouTube or send us a DM at House of Mar and for a chance to be featured. Give us some more stuff, guys. Talk to us and also go to our YouTube and watch it in person. We're beautiful. We're sexy. We. You get to see our faces. It's like you're in the room with us. So go check us out there. Subscribe. Like, comment. Send it to your friend, your mom, that boy who's been annoying you and sending you a text.

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Alona]

Yeah. Easy peasy.

[Olivia]

So thanks so much for coming over to the House of Mar. A Wave Original presented by Opill Opill is birth control in your control Be.

[Adriana]

Sure to watch and subscribe on YouTube and listen wherever you get your podcasts. Plus, follow the show on social media at HouseOfMar for clips and behind the scenes content. Now get out of my room get.

[Alona]

Out of here get out of our house. Get out of here, get out of our house with our green walls and our strawberry drapes.