Jameela Jamil: $45 Debloat Tea, "Lower Lip Filler" & First Kiss Flops

Summary

Podcast Summary: House of Maher – Jameela Jamil: $45 Debloat Tea, "Lower Lip Filler" & First Kiss Flops

Date: January 20, 2026
Host: Wave (the Maher sisters: Ilona, Olivia, Adrianna)
Guest: Jameela Jamil
Theme: Body neutrality, beauty scams, women’s strength, and the personal and cultural fights over bodies and self-worth (plus plenty of comedic, candid confessions).

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Episode Overview

This House of Maher episode welcomes the multi-hyphenate Jameela Jamil for a deeply candid, hilarious, and unfiltered chat about body standards, internet scams, the evolving nature of beauty trends, and the importance of women’s strength—both physical and emotional. The Maher sisters and Jameela swap stories and perspectives on everything from TikTok body trends and $45 “debloat” teas to martial arts, labia fillers, and cringy first kisses. Peppered with Jameela’s signature wit, the episode also digs into activism, feminine confidence, and the hard-won lessons that come from loving one's body in a world that profits from insecurity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Physical Strength as Feminist Resistance

• Jameela on Women Getting Strong: Jameela and the sisters agree on the urgency for women to get physically strong—especially in a world of both literal and "gender" wars.

  • "We are not just in a world war. We are at a gender war that is now occurring where our rights are being stripped away." (Jameela, 03:16)
  • Jameela describes how martial arts changed her: “There’s just this extra bit of ‘don’t fucking fuck with me’ that comes with knowing you can gouge someone’s eyeballs out.” (05:29)

• Gen Z and the “Stay Skinny, Stay Safe” Myth: They bemoan harmful social media trends encouraging women to make themselves smaller supposedly for safety—a concept Jameela directly refutes:

  • “Stay sturdy, stay safe. I might be dead now if I hadn't been too heavy for those men to lift.” (07:55)

2. The Cyclic Scam of Beauty Standards

• On Bodies as Trends:

  • Jameela lambasts the loop of beauty trends—from curvy to ultra-thin and back again—emphasizing the futility (and dangerousness) of chasing them.
  • “You cannot be left behind in a loop. It’s gonna come back around… so I just choose to save my money. I refuse. I’ve looked exactly the same since I was born.” (22:48)

• Spite and High Horse as Powerful Defenses:

  • “Spite is how I recovered… knowing that people make money off every horrible thought I have about my face and body. The spite carried me through.” (23:50)
  • Olivia notes never picking up vapes thanks to her own “high horse”: “My high horse has saved me time and time again by being on a high horse about certain things.” (25:14)

• Jaw-dropping Beauty Industry Trends:

  • The sisters and Jameela dissect labia fillers (“the puffy labia”), eyelid removals, shifting nose standards, and acknowledge the profitability of keeping women perpetually insecure.

3. Scams, Snake Oils, and the $45 Debloat Tea

• Exposing Wellness Grifts:
  • The group calls out branded “debloat teas” (often just cumin and coriander) sold at luxury prices, and the targeting of children with harmful supplement products.
  • “They put actual laxatives in weight loss tea… amphetamines and laxatives in the ones targeted for girls to lose weight, Viagra and heavy metals for boys.” (31:36)

4. Activism, Visibility, and the Relentless Fight

• Staying in the Battle:

  • Both Jameela and the Maher sisters express exhaustion at having to keep addressing body standards.
  • “Nothing I’ve said has even been able to evolve because the situation continues to devolve… it’s echoing around the room now… there used to be more people in this room [fighting].” (18:47–19:46)

• Visibility and Who Gets a Platform:

  • Jameela reflects on how her changing appearance has alternately empowered and undermined her platform—and why no one is allowed to talk about the body positivity movement without critique.
  • “What a brilliant way to make sure no one has the conversation…” (41:10–43:10)

5. Comedy, Candor, and Wild Confessions

• First-Kiss and Sexual Debut Stories:

  • All share awkward (often late-bloomer) first kisses, and Jameela describes her experience as both comic and formative (“Unexpected item in bagging area” during anal sex attempt—64:00).

• Hilarious and Horrific Anecdotes:

  • Jameela recounts a friend’s college shart mishap and a man pretending to remove his own legs during sex (59:07–63:26), keeping the room in stitches.

6. Advice, Book Club, and Sisterly Wisdom

• Book Recommendations:

  • Jameela recommends Period Power by Maisie Hill: “It has taught me so much about how to not just understand what’s happening with my body, but leverage it to my benefit…” (65:26)

• Sisterhood & Holding Strong:

  • The conversation circles back to the value of female friendship, mutual care, and not giving in to regressive gender expectations:
    • "Get a vibrator and stay strong and eat carbs." (73:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Feminist Might & Body Confidence

"I want a body that says fuck the system. And I want the energy to actually [fuck] the system. I need to eat."
— Jameela Jamil, 38:45

"The beauty standard was set by pedophiles... It's very Pedo coded, all of it... That is a teenage girl; they want everyone to look like a teenage girl."
— Jameela Jamil, 39:47

On Industry and Internet Ridiculousness

"It is an act of resistance to never change the way that I look, because I am highlighting the scam of it all."
— Jameela Jamil, 23:02

"Have you seen the editors of these magazines?... So you can fucking look like the beauty standard before you push anything on me, babe."
— Jameela Jamil, 44:59

Dark Humor & Real Talk

"I've just stopped participating in trying to predict anything anymore. I just want to get strong so I can hit someone if I need to."
— Jameela Jamil, 01:23

"I was too scared to poo for two weeks [because of acrylic nails]... Sweet relief."
— Jameela Jamil, 27:04

"Unexpected item in bagging area."
— Jameela Jamil, 63:57 (on a sex mishap)

Fighting Back for Yourself and Others

"I'm not doing this for the other people... I'm also doing it for myself because it's hard out there."
— Mar Mar (Host 1; Ilona Maher), 17:00

"There’s never going to be progress without disruption."
— Mar Mar (Host 3), 47:46

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:17 – Jameela on the unpredictability of recent years and turning to strength
• 03:16 – The urgent need for women’s physical empowerment
• 05:06 – How martial arts changed Jameela’s mental state and gait
• 06:45 – Gen Z trends & the 'Stay Skinny, Stay Safe' myth
• 07:34 – Jameela’s personal story of an attempted abduction
• 18:35 – Fatigue with repeating the same body-positive advocacy
• 22:48 – “Beauty is a loop,” labia fillers, and rejecting the scam
• 23:50 – Spite and “high horse” as empowerment tactics
• 31:36 – The scam of weight loss teas and the supplement industry
• 39:47 – The “pedophile-coded” beauty standard
• 41:10 – Who’s allowed to have the conversation around beauty
• 59:07 – College shart story and compound embarrassment
• 65:26 – Book recommendations and how knowledge is power
• 73:10 – “Get a vibrator and stay strong and eat carbs.”

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Tone & Takeaways

Throughout the episode, the tone is irreverent, warm, and fiercely honest—balancing biting satire with genuine vulnerability. Jameela’s advocacy for body neutrality, economic agency, and unapologetic self-confidence shines through, encouraging listeners to see through the social scams that profit from women’s insecurities. The Maher sisters provide relatable, grounded insight—grounded in sport, activism, and familial intimacy—which amplifies the episode’s authenticity.

For anyone who’s ever felt “behind the trend,” questioned their worth in a beauty-obsessed world, or just wanted a good, cathartic laugh about the messiness of growing up female, this episode is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Jameela Jamil]

The labia is back. You know, everyone was told to cut their labia off.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Lab was gone.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is our time.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

This is our year.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Ladies, Welcome back to House of Mar. A Wave original. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge. The WI fi password is wrong. Underscore, turn all caps.

[Jameela Jamil]

You.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

You should know we have a few house rules.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Girls are magic.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Reading is hot and so are you.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Make sure to like and subscribe on YouTube so you can see us all once again. Fits all around.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I would say so.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Lovely. Shoe game again.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Shoe game again, always, please.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

You wanna see it?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

You wanna see us? And you especially wanna see our fourth mar sister. Today is a certified powerhouse, who you know is a hilariously name dropping Tahani from the Good Place. The formidable Titania from Marvel's she Hulk. And now you can see her in people we meet on vacation, whose author we chatted with last week when she's. She's a powerful body neutrality activist and award winning podcast host. She's one of the most incisive advocates for women's rights on the planet. Welcome to the family. Jameela Jamil.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Welcome.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Welcome to our house.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

How are you doing? How is 2026 treating you so far?

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, you know, world war. Pretty good, right?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Right?

[Jameela Jamil]

Pretty chill. Yeah. I think after 2019 and what a fucking cunt we were that year when we were like. By 2019, it's all about 2020. And then, boy, were we taught a lesson. I've just stopped participating in trying to predict anything anymore. And I'm really just. I'm just. I just want to get strong. I want to get strong so I can hit someone if I need to.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Physically strong.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Mentally strong.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, physically strong. I feel like I'm already mentally strong. I'd like to now embody that physically. So I'd like some big muscles.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

No. As an athlete, are you. Are we working on this? Are we in the gym? Are we lifting?

[Jameela Jamil]

I could l5 kilograms. So pretty.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Not to intimidate you, but I think maybe we should fight.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Very strong.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Now, is that in each hand or together?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Together.

[Jameela Jamil]

That is in each hand. I'm not a monster. That'd be crazy. Yeah. Yeah. I just. I really. I feel very strongly like I would like to put up a good fight. If anyone tries to kidnap me, which they shouldn't because I'm perimenopausal, shit's drying up. It's not gonna be good for. But still, I want to go down swinging.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And you'll just be talking to the kidnappers too.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And then they're gonna be like, okay, get out of here. Shut up.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you hear about the little boy who sang the same gospel song several hours and then they gave him back?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

A kid was kidnapped and did this.

[Jameela Jamil]

Where in America?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

No way.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

He was that annoying.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, he was so annoying. They were like, never mind. Gave him back to me. That could be like, that is me, you know?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And with perimenopause as well. You gotta hear this too, man.

[Jameela Jamil]

Y 100% foolproof.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

But also, I love that you're getting stronger. I'm a big fan of it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. I'm so distressed by the state of the Internet. And everyone's saying that if you want supermodel legs, you should stop exercising. And that muscles make you bigger and they make you hungrier. Skinny tock has lost its mind. And so I would love to do everything I can to promote getting as fucking big and strong. We are not just in a world war. We are at a gender war that is now occurring where our rights are being stripped away. And you know, I was reading yesterday that there's a. A pro rape club that was supposed to meet up. Did you read about it? And a bunch of female fighters found out about it, and it was a.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Boxing club that threatened to show up, so they canceled it.

[Jameela Jamil]

So they canceled the pro rape club, but a pro rape club exists. It's like, this is not the time for us to lose our muscles. This is not the time to atrophy. This is the time to get as big and strong as possible.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I think the wrestling club or the boxing club should have not threatened and.

[Jameela Jamil]

Just showed up 100%. What a huge mistake. Well, the women were actually really disappointed that it got canceled.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I'm really disappointed, man.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

We'll get it next time.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Our plans.

[Jameela Jamil]

But what a fucking start to the year. I was like, you've got to be kidding me. Like, just shut up. With not all men at this point.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

If you have clubs, like, shut the fuck up now. Like, so we just need. We need to get. We need to get ready.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

We do.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I do think, and I think it's important to get strong. I also encourage women to take some classes. Self defense classes are really important. I took a Krav Maga once.

[Jameela Jamil]

Really?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I learned a lot, but I think strength is great. We need to also learn, you know, other great ways to defend ourselves, which is scary in this world. But a spear.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And a kick to the walls.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Just go for the balls and anything.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

So that's what we need to do, guys, actually, we all should. I'm just talking to the other day, I was like, I want to take self defense class.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I've just signed up for self defense 100.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

But Krav Maga, like my first class was so intense. They were like, if someone goes down, you don't just run away. You have to make sure they can't get back up. I mean, they're essentially like double tap their eyeballs out. I love that it's really intense, but I think it's also the energy that we all need to be stepping into this year with. And you know what it is, is that when I did, I learned a bunch of martial arts when I was doing Marvel because I had to get bigger and stronger and learn how to properly fight. And it's not just about learning how to defend yourself. It's also about the way it changes your mentality knowing you can defend yourself. So all my male friends noticed that my gait has changed forever since doing that. Like, the way I walk, the way I carry myself, how aware I am at all times has completely shifted. And there's just this extra bit of don't fucking fuck with me that comes with knowing that you can gouge someone's eyeballs out. You don't want to, but you can.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

But you can do.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

It's in the shoulders.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I like that.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

It really is. She can gouge eyeballs out.

[Jameela Jamil]

I think confidence is such a big part of the difference between someone trying to fuck around with you and not. And that's not to victim shame anyone. And confident and strong and muscly women can all be attacked. But my point being that the likelihood is like they've been several cases of interviewing people who have assaulted women before and they say they're looking for the easy target. They're looking for someone who's looking down. They're looking for someone who carries themselves in a small, weak way. So it's so crazy to me that Gen Z is encouraging women to get smaller. There's that slogan hashtag, stay skinny, stay safe. And it's like, that is you're much easier to lift.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

What does that mean?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, absolutely. Say skinny, stay safe.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

How so?

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't know, but it's a big slogan on the Internet and it really bums me out because it's just, I just don't understand how something so stupid can be said out loud and then reposted.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

There's no way of explaining something when you're that mentally ill of like that if that is like a sickness to have it. So there's no way to be like, oh, I guess they maybe mean this. It's no, they're just. It's just something wrong in the head.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. I was once, once someone tried to kid, like, two men tried to kidnap me. I wrote about this on Substat. Like, once two men tried to kidnap me after using Rohypnol on me. And I was bigger than I am at the time. Sorry, I was bigger at the time than I am now. But I still had like a small face, so they couldn't tell underneath my coat that I would be heavy. And they tried to lift me and couldn't. And I only found out the following morning when the police took me back to the bar to see what had happened, you know, because I had to be. I'd been taken to the hospital. I don't drink, so everyone knew immediately I'd been drugged. Yeah. And so I go back with the police and I have to watch on CCTV these two men, like, put their knees into it, right?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

They're like, proper form.

[Jameela Jamil]

Which when you're 19, feels weirdly embarrassing, which is so dumb. I hate myself so much for being like, oh, why couldn't they lift me? Right? But that's how mentally ill I was. But really, stay sturdy, stay safe. Like, I would have, I might be dead now if I hadn't been too heavy for those men to lift. So I think we're all looking at this shit the completely wrong, the wrong way.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Stay sturdy, stay safe.

[Jameela Jamil]

100%. I love that.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I love that a lot. And you do.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Like, I.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Sometimes I carry myself very broad shoulders. I look like I could gouge eyes out, you know, And I walk around with the confidence of like, I'm bigger than a lot of women, like. And I think about my friends that are smaller than me. I'm like, oh, that feels. But then even at my size, you hear about it talked about where you're play fighting, play wrestling with a boyfriend. You're like, hehe, ha. And then the moment happens where you realize, oh, no, he could completely overpower me. A man could completely have control over me if they like, because they're so much stronger than me and I'm a big woman and the fear that in a moment of loving has nothing to do with that person, where you're like, oh, my God. Yeah, men, that's scary.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, pound for pound, I think they're something like 160% stronger than us.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Perfect.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Jesus. So I'll keep Going to the gym for nothing.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Yeah, yeah. Do the work.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

You guys are doing the work.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I'll get.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I got to get back into the gym.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

No, it's. It's important.

[Jameela Jamil]

Teeth implanted into my vagina.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh, I love that.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Or a cool chassis belt that closes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Lovely. Love that. I just felt my publicist is just, like, leaning closer towards the camera. I can feel you.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

These are good ideas.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Write this down. Come on.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I think it's. It's really important and to. We'll get into it more, I think, you know, why don't we just head into the group chat and get into a little bit more.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hi, it's so nice to meet you.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Hi, guys.

[Jameela Jamil]

Teeth in the J. I'm such a big fan. We have gone straight into.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

We're right into.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

All good.

[Jameela Jamil]

I hope you're well.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Thank you so much.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

We're so happy you're here. So we're going to go into what we call our group chat. We just talk about what's been happening in our text thread this week, what's going on in our lives. Shout out to Peloton for sponsoring the group chat today.

[Jameela Jamil]

We.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

The two of us on the couch.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

The two of us on the couch here were at the premiere two nights ago for. We met on vacation. We saw you coming down. I think they brought you down the wrong side or something to your seat. And I was like, there she is. We'll see you later this week. But then you were surrounded by people all day, so.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I was like, it's a big night.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did you see me fall over?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

No.

[Jameela Jamil]

When did you. Oh, I fully. I spilled.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Where?

[Jameela Jamil]

Boy, did I spill. And then I got something called a marble burn on my marble burn, which I didn't know. It's like a. I guess it's like the middle class version of Carpetburg.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't know. But we had a marble floor in the cinema, and I just tanked it in front of absolutely everyone. So my arms and my knees just. I got smashed. My publicist was saying that she can still hear the sound of my kneecaps, like, hitting the ground, but it was in front of literally everyone, so I'm glad that you didn't.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Well, not them, though. Not us. It's possible.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

And if we saw, we would have looked away. Thank you.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

We wouldn't have brought it up.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wouldn't have helped. Just looked away.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

How was it working on the movie?

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, it was lovely. Such a lovely cast. It was one of my favorite experiences. I've ever had. And I feel as though because our director, Brett Haley was such a good guy and he's an actor's director, it meant that if you have, like the good parent, you have good kids. And so everyone just treated each other so well. And Emily Bader is such a queen.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Really.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God. Not only is she absolutely brilliant in the film, as you can see, she's got all the different chops, but she's also just such a wonderful person. And I've worked with some dicey people in this industry and she is just like the breath of fresh air that I need to carry on, really. So I love her. I'm rooting for her all the way. In fact, her publicist and I had fake beef on the red carpet. Cause she knows that I've been going down the line telling everyone I want to leave my job and just become Emily's public publicist.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Publicist.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Main fan.

[Jameela Jamil]

But yeah, it was great. It was great. And it's so fun to be part of something that so many people love so much. And also just to see so many girls holding books to sign just as a reminder that people are still reading.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

And that made me. And they were like Beatles fans. It was so cool.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Emily Henry made me really happy.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Her stories are so powerful. And it's like, yeah, like, good on Netflix. Good on everyone for investing in things that make women happy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. And also the flip of kind of When Harry Met Sally, where it's always the girl who is the stiff eye rolling one and the boy is the fun, lovable one. To be able to flip that around was so refreshing because that is so often, so much more often the case. In all the relationship dynamics I see, I rarely see a really stiff woman who's just eye rolling with a really fun guy. It's always the other way around. So it's really nice to see that.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

On screen, to do that in a way where it's also not manic. Pixie dream girl.

[Jameela Jamil]

100% very cool.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

And she played her so well.

[Jameela Jamil]

She was so relatable.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I think everyone sees themselves in her.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Now, did you always want to be an actress or did you almost like, not use it as a tool to. Because, like, I think I use almost social media as a tool to get me into spaces. Was that always your dream or did you almost use it as a tool? Because we. I saw the power in social media. Did you see the power in acting and being in those spaces?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. I was an English. I was an English teacher. And I got street scouted to try out for television. There was a big nationwide call and I went to the audition and I got it and I became a TV host. And then after that I went and worked at the BBC and then I became a documentary maker at the BBC and then I got bored. So I went to America just to try something new and be a writer. I also really didn't enjoy fame, lol. Or being on camera or being perceived or having my photograph taken, lol. And so I was like, I'm gonna go and just become a writer if I'm lucky in America. And I was 28, 29. Everyone was telling me that my time was up anyway. Cause it was 15 years ago, that's what things were like. So I, or 10 years ago. So I got here, I wrote this screenplay, it passed around to a different few different people. Someone knew an agent who then a manager who wanted to meet me. I went, met that manager, he signed me. And then the audition for the Good Place came up and I had never acted before, so I thought it was ludicrous for me to go, but I went. And then unbelievably I got it. And they forced me to join social media to promote the show. And that was the first time, you know, I'd been on Twitter, but I used Twitter just to be a dick, as you should. And understanding social media and how toxic it was for girls made me realize, oh, acting and the platform this gives me and social media means that I can say all the shit my 12 year old self needed to hear. And so it was an immediate light bulb switch of like, oh my God, the power of a platform on a scale I never had before. You know, I went from 16,000 followers to 2 million in a year. And so that was just like that for me, for little old English me in America felt insane. And then I've just been kind of doing my best since I don't profess to be a genius or an expert. I left school at 17. I'm just doing my best to be what I needed when I was little. Which includes fallible, it includes making mistakes, it includes being messy and getting things wrong and saying sorry and coming back and doing better. All the things that we allow men to do. So it's all been a surprise journey. But the one thing the through line since I was 19 has been advocacy. That's something that I've always had at the forefront of my sense of purpose.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Was there an inciting incident at 19 where you were like, this is what I gotta Do I think it was.

[Jameela Jamil]

The size zero trend? You know, I was still in recovery. I was just starting recovery, a very long eating disorder. And size 0 and heroin chic were being glamorized. And I wrote this letter about it into the Evening Standard, which is a big newspaper in England. And they put it on page two. And then the next thing I knew, I was on the news like on like mainstream Channel 4 news. And then the next day I was on BBC News and then every, every day a Sky News. And I was just being like. It was escalating and escalating. And I kicked off at 19, right, this huge conversation about size zero and the dangers of it and you know, eating disorders. And what was really funny is that every day, you know, there's like a little banner that comes up under your name about like what your title is. And so it started as like Jamila Jamil advocate. It was like Jimmy Jamil, model scout. Then it was like model agent. Then it was like owner of modeling agency. It was like the president of the British Fashion Council. Every day they were over egging my credentials and I was just this little teenager, right? That was when I learned, okay, I enjoy the feeling of making some sort of impact. It makes me feel less powerless in a world that is working so hard to make us all feel so powerless.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

What about you?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I think I liked what you said about, for my younger self and I think the work that I do now helps me as well. Like when I make a video about body appreciation because it's like hard and I. We talk about all the time. We talk about this podcast a lot. But to be back in that trend of, of skinny is in. I'm like, I feel like I'm fighting a never ending battle and I can never stop posting about. I'm sorry if you get sick of my content people, but I can never stop posting about being strong and being healthy because the next video I see, I've been getting a lot of weight loss ads on Tick Tock. I was telling you. And I press, not interested. I pass unpleasant. I try to scroll away and I keep getting them. So for me it's like I'm not doing, I'm doing this for the other people. I'm doing it for the young girls who I know are growing up in this. But I'm also doing it for myself because it's, it's hard out there. I mean, I'm very confident in my body, but I also feel at times like I wish my stomach was a little bit. Oh, she did lipo and she got like that. That's so easy. That's simple. And so I have to. I do this for myself to put it out there, because I. If I'm going through it, somebody whose body is my job, my body's taking me to two Olympics, an Olympic medal, and yet I still.

[Jameela Jamil]

Same.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, of course, everyone here, famously, and I still have problems with it. So I'm like, man, it's a never ending thing I will never stop talking about. And I think it helps me, you.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Getting angry when you saw somebody, you know that you know, made a post about waste, weight loss, drugs or whatever, and you were like, that makes my job harder.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I'm like, like, I gotta clock in again.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Gotta clock in, make another video, like, talking about.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, I don't want to talk about this all the time. I'm so sick of it. I'm in my 20th year speaking about this publicly and I'm saying the same thing.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Jameela Jamil]

Nothing I've said has even been able to evolve because the situation continues to devolve. I'd love to talk about comedy. I'd love to talk about more projects and things that I'm doing. I would love to talk about other issues in the world. There's bigger shit going on to a certain degree. But this is also so fucking serious.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

To have, like, you know, for eating disorders, for anorexia, et cetera, to be the number one cause of death in any mental, like, the highest cause of death in any mental health issue. This is like something that we cannot ignore that's being glamorized and perpetuated by people with huge platforms. And it's just so hard not to feel murderous about it because it means I and you and the very small pool of us who are left. Cause I don't know how you feel about it, but I'm like, ooh, we lost another. But there used to be more people in this room.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Wait a second.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

She was really?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. It's echoing around the room now, like, hello, hello.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Which is why I love you so much, because you're just out here fighting the fight. And I'm like, oh, thank Christ you're still here and you are still talking about this stuff as. As tedious as it is. All of you, like, just.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, it's tough. I will say it's the people I'm around, my sisters. I also am blessed to be around a team of women who. Our goal is to be strong to. To our bodies are for, like, a purpose, doing something greater and then I. I say this a lot, but I come to LA and I'm like, this is a shift in perspective. We're all just, okay. That's what we all want to look like. Okay, that's so. That's tough too, with the perspective here. And that's why I was like, girls, get out there and play a sport. Get out there and do. Do rugby or something that makes you show that your body's more than just something to be looked at, never ending. We actually just saw a post of yours that we really liked where you talk about Odessa Zion.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And say like, the trends. And you're like, this is just because she's different. And so it's all. Now people who've done their. Gotten their noses done are like, oh, I should have been that. Can you believe I just. We talk about all the time. But bodies are a trend.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Bodies being trends.

[Jameela Jamil]

Bodies and faces. It's all a sc. And because I'm so old, I've been around now for so many of these loops. My exact hairstyle has gone. I've had it since I was two, right? So it's 38 years. It is the longest relationship in Hollywood's history, Right. It is unbelievable to watch my. My face and picture be used as an example of like, this is the hairstyle. This is the trend of the year once every, like three or four years. So you're like, what's the point in changing it? George Clooney has not changed his fucking hair in, like, since he was in ER or whatever the fuck he did. Like, why should I have to? Because it's just gonna come back around again. And I think something that's so important to remember is that, you know, it's all a loop. The reason that many people rush to hurt or mutilate or punish themselves to meet a trend is because they think they're gonna be left behind. You cannot be left behind in a loop. It's gonna come back around now that everyone's getting skinny. As soon as everyone manages to achieve the beauty aest, the beauty aesthetic shifts and shifts dramatically. So everyone who had their bbls that they almost died for removed and their breast implants removed, they're now gonna have to go and be like, fuck, do I need to go back and get that? Do I need to get another one back? You know, we're hearing about in, I think, Korea, the women are now having bumps put into their noses. Cause now the new status of beauty is to have a deviated nose. So. So the little button dolly Nose is now gone. It's like, people spend a lot of money on that. And now we're doing facelifts and amaz. Maybe at some point facelifts will come out and. Yeah, it's. It's just, you know, everyone had their jaw shaved. I bet a wide jaw is gonna come back in. Whatever it is. Hopefully you're ready. Yeah, whatever. Whatever it is, it's coming in at some point. It's just gonna come in once you've spent all your money getting the other thing.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

So I just choose to save my money. I refuse. I've looked exactly the same since I was born.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Since I was born, I came out like this. Wearing this jacket. Okay.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

That wing liner.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Jameela Jamil]

And people get so mad at me, and I'm doing it out of spite. It is an act of resistance to never change the way that I look, because I am highlighting the scam of it all. And the reason I was talking about Odessa Ozaiahn is, like, plenty of people look like Odessa Ozaian, but no one is being propped up in the mainstream the way that she is. Who looks like that? And it's because the turn has already begun, and super skinny, I think, will be out soon, and then curves will be in, and then they'll come out again, and then they'll be in again. So it's like, why? Like, for whom are we doing this?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

And it's who benefits?

[Jameela Jamil]

Are you kidding?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

It's like, what's the thing? It's like, who benefits from women hating themselves? But, like, capitalism, like, men, more surgeries, more skin care, more benefits from you not liking spite. Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Spite is how I recovered. I did a bit of EMDR therapy, and then it was knowing that people make money off of every horrible thought I have about my face and body. And the spite carried me through. And I really feel like religious text has got this wrong and that, you know, it's like, oh, you mustn't. You mustn't have spite. You mustn't have, like, evil in your heart. It's actually very powerful.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Very powerful. I recommend it to everyone. Spite.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Because if there's so much evil out there in the world, I think you need to have a little bit of it in you to, like.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, when they go low, you go lower, you get into the gutter, and you drag them by their pews.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, the little laser can anymore. Yeah, they all lasered it away.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Lasered their bushes.

[Jameela Jamil]

But you know that, like, the labia is back. You know, everyone was told to cut their labia off.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

The baby was gone.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes. It was supposed to have. Now a puffy labia.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

What?

[Jameela Jamil]

So it's called a puffy labia. So they're putting filler in their nerves. No way. Yes. No, this is real. This is real. And do you know how many nerve endings there are around your label?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I'm thinking, like, are you.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Can you ride a bike after that?

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Owie a horse. Absolutely not.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

No.

[Jameela Jamil]

No. So you need to have a puffy labia, and all the weight loss injections are shriveling people's labias. So that's a perfect time to be like, well, we need to fill that back up.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Good to know.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Interesting.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Interesting. And this reminds me, the spite thing I just heard on the Internet, too. It's like, my high horse has saved me time and time again by being on a high horse about certain things. Like, I never tried vapes. I never did that because I was on a high horse about it. And now I'm, you know, I'm not addicted to the chemicals or whatever about it because I was on that high horse. And I'm like, yeah, my high horse has saved my life a couple of times, especially from beauty standards and how they all change.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm the same with manicures, facials, all of these things. I'm like, if my boyfriend's not spending money on it, I'm not spending money on it. Like, that's it. I just go pound for pound with him. It's like, well, he's willing to spend money on. He spends money on one moisturizer. I spend money on one moisturizer. So I'm like, this motherfucker's not gonna have more money than me.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Right.

[Jameela Jamil]

Right. We're competitive. You know about our bank balance. And I'm like, right, okay, I'm gonna.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Does he have a drawer of sassy tights, too?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes, he does.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Yes, I do.

[Jameela Jamil]

I borrowed these. Yeah. But, yeah, I just feel very passionately about. Not like, you know, I cut my own hair, which is why my fringe looks really bad at the moment. And we'll talk about it another time. No, but either way, I have just decided to take as much of this into. I still love clothes. I love makeup, but these things aren't gonna hurt me. I draw the line at risk and discomfort and possible death, which I think is quite reasonable. I'm just not up for it. And I think so much of it's a scam. And you know what? I had my nails done once for that Christmas movie. I did Last year, where they insisted I had my nails done and it broke my nails. And it took eight months for them to recover. I was like, so then you have to keep getting it done again and again.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

She's getting her nails done.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I refuse.

[Jameela Jamil]

Je. Refused.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

What am I gonna do? But I pull them off and it's expensive.

[Jameela Jamil]

It gave me, like, an ick. And also while the nails were on, I was like, how do you wipe your asshole? Where is the manual for that?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I was too scared. It's a flat palm. I think it's Olivia.

[Jameela Jamil]

But you can't get it.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I'm not gonna apparently anything. Please.

[Jameela Jamil]

Honestly, like, this is an exclusive. I was too scared to poo for two weeks. Do you know how dangerous do it? I had to get poop every day.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

At the same time. Were you in the States or were you over in England? You got more bidets over there, right? Don't you have more bidets over in England or were you here for this?

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I was in Canada and I didn't. I didn't poop. Most of the time I was in Canada.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

But then I imagine at the end of those two weeks, Sweet relief.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sweet Jesus.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Sweet Jesus.

[Jameela Jamil]

What a great time. Never again.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Incredible.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Incredible. That concerns me.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

We need to poop regularly.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I agree.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

We're all figuring that out here.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm not doing like, a wolverine green. I'm sorry.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Right?

[Jameela Jamil]

It's just unacceptable.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Edward Scissor Tans.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Edward Scissor Ass.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

That's one hell of a group chat. So thank you, Peloton, for being a part of that segment.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Thank you, Peloton. And we'll be riding your bikes with our normal ladies. You can count on that.

[Jameela Jamil]

I forgot that film was sponsored.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I actually like a funny story. Okay I was recently on a shoot and I'm talking. I want to talk about this cuz it's tea time and we're talking about tea and I think you've talked about tummy teas and stuff before and how annoying they are. So my style Carlis goes to make a tea and she's like does anyone Tea? I'll take a tea. And she makes me one and I'm smelling this tea and I'm like this smells like a spice rub or something.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sorry, someone made you a tummy tea?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

No, no, no no no. It's something. It's like a debloat. It is a D bloat tea. And so she's like yeah, it's from this. She calls herself a doctor but she's into Chinese medicine. I'm not sure if she's fully a doctor, but she Sells these teas for. For about $45 for 30 teabags. And I was like, are you smell. What are you. What are you getting from that? Like, smell that. What are you getting for that? Smells like spice mix or something. Like something you'd rub on pork. And I have my stylist look it up a little bit more. The tea is made out of just cumin and coriander. And she's selling this as a debloat, like. And I was like, are y'. All. Yeah, we. Are we drinking?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Are we drinking the same thing?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I drank it. But I was like, yeah, it has great branding and packaging. And I was like, like, is this for real? Let's go. I'll take y' all to Whole Foods. Yeah, we'll go to the bulk spice section and I'll make you a few. I might add a little bit of dandelion into it. But it was just so interesting to me that people are convinced to buy that without knowing they can be told it'll de bloat without knowing it's just two spices. And two spices you put on a slow roasted pork.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Right.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know what? I'd still take that over the fact that they put actual laxatives in weight loss tea. Do they really? Yeah, that's what was in them, which is why I was going so nuts for years. And then I was part of a case that was brought to congress where they're also putting heavy metals and Viagra in boys Muscle Gain products. So it was really mad. They had like amphetamines and laxatives in the ones that are targeted for girls to lose weight. And then they had Muscle Gain products, had trace. Not just tracers, but they had Viagra and toxic heavy metals in them. And like, young boys were taking these. Cause they want to have the Marvel body and girls want to have the whatever, the Victoria's Secret body. And it just really bums me out that we're willing to even like, deliberately target children. Like, I remember with the flat tummy tees, there were teenage girls, slim teenage girls on the billboards around Times Square. And I was like, God, you're really just pure evil, aren't you? It's shocking, but it is. So much of it is a scam. All of it's a scam. And it's all designed to take our money. And it's like, we already earn less on the dollar than men do, so. And it's more dangerous to get home at night. We can't just walk home or take the night bus. We have to take the cab that we still might get raped. Like, why are we encouraged to spend our money on this stuff? Like, it's fine to indulge in a bit of frivolity and a bit of pampering. Like, if you enjoy a facial, have a fucking facial. Whatever. My face is drier than Gandhi's asshole. Like, I'm sure it would actually do me some good. I don't want it.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

But not until the boyfriend does it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, exactly. Until he does it. But, yeah, so. But I'm like, we are already spending our money on more than enough unnecessary shit. And then we're just trapped in this cycle in this loop of spend your money on this. And I've got friends who are my age, in their 40s, who are. They're saving up now, not for their first home, but for their first facelift. It's like, this shit lasts. It costs, like, 100 to 140 grand, really. Everyone is removing their eyelids. Odessa has ions got eyelids. And now that's part of what makes her face so beautiful. She's got what we used to call deep set eyes in my generation that now have been rebranded as hooded eyes, Hooded eyes. And it's like. It's insane. Like, I love deep set eyes. It's like one of the things that makes French women so beautiful is they've got fucking eyelids, and we're just chopping them off and they're gonna come back in fashion. What are you gonna do, have a fucking eyelid implant?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah. Take a little swim of somebody's eyes.

[Jameela Jamil]

It is all falling in line with the rise of fascism, the destabilizing of women's rights. All of it is about making sure that we are dist and tired and broke so that we can't fight. And now they don't even want us to have muscles.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

So we can't fight.

[Jameela Jamil]

Spite. It's really just got to be spite that drives you.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I like what you said about distraction. I think that is so much of what we see is that we are distracted by fighting one another. Or it's like, what women are just getting consumed with that you're not seeing the bigger picture, what's really out there and what we should be focusing on. I sometimes see a difference of social media versus the news of there are two amazing conversations, or there's, like, an amazing conversation always happening on social media, but it's too minute compared to the news that you get consumed by the skinny. How your body should be that you don't have enough energy left at the end of the day to address that, to put your own time and getting involved in your community in a certain way.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Right. Keep educating yourself in other ways.

[Jameela Jamil]

Have you ever had eating disorder stuff?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

In high school, I was on Tumblr too much, and I was. I started to learn about, like, first the military diet, and then, like, there was all, like, these graphs of, like, okay, this day, you start with this many calories, and then you go down, down, down. I was never. For, like, a long time. I actually, I remember. I think it was maybe Meghan Trainor who once got a lot of negative comments because she said that she didn't have enough willpower or something like that to have a eating disorder, which is not the right way to say it, because people are like, it's not about willpower. It is a mental disease. And I hear that. But, like, I felt this. Like, I felt like I failed myself, that I was like, I wasn't strong enough to do it. It was that it was like a different kind of, like, sickness for me, of, like, I can't. Why couldn't I not eat that? Like, I felt like I was a failure and that I just wasn't strong. I'm lucky that that was my. Like, that's how I handled it. Of that I didn't have to go through it for a long time because I just stopped. But it was still, like. It was a lot on the mental of just feeling like, ugh, why can't I?

[Jameela Jamil]

It's so interesting. I think it's really interesting how we've branded discipline. You know, it's like, what you do is discipline. You're an athlete. You are learning a skill. You are putting your body on the line. You are working constantly to get faster and go harder and push further. The way that we have rebranded, like, super thinness as discipline, what was really helpful for me was when I was able to reframe that discipline as obedience. And once I was able to do that, it changed the way that I not only looked at my own body, but the way I looked at everybody's body. And so I'm not saying I'm walking around judging anyone who's toned or this, that, and the other or muscular. I mean, each to their own. And everyone's got their own story and their own metabolism and their own lineage of metabolism. But I am saying that when I'm watching my peers change their bodies really dramatically to a really unnecessary level of bone thin, you know, something that I know is putting their bones in danger, and they're gonna develop osteoporosis if they keep going like this. I look at it now as, as obedient and I look at it as compliant. And there's nothing that I would like to be less than obedient and compliant. There's nothing that is less appealing to me than any form of obedience. I'm only drawn to disobedience in myself and in other people. I think that's why I'm drawn to you three. And, and, and I. It makes me sad when I see willful female obedience. And it's all I can see everywhere. And it has changed the beauty type that I aspire towards. Now when I. Who doesn't look naturally thin where you can. There's a difference between the way someone looks when they're naturally skinny and when they are hurting themselves and undernourishing themselves to perform this body. And when I see it, I just, I feel sad. I used to think, oh, I want that and now I really genuinely don't. I want a body that says fuck the system. And I want an energy. I want the energy to actually the system. I need to eat.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And where do we get that Carbs energy.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

And it doesn't need to be like 100 grams of protein.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I was in the gym today or I was doing PT today and I remember whenever I look at my muscles, like I might. I have really big arms and I, I sometimes will have this feeling like, you know what? I'm okay if no men like me because of how I feel when I am strong.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Wrong.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And if, if this is an appealing. And there. It's very appealing to a lot of men.

[Jameela Jamil]

But if this isn't appealing Comment section.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, yeah, no, I, I got.

[Jameela Jamil]

Not drooling alone look.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I got hoes. But yeah, I look that. Like, if this is wrong and if this is not attractive, then I, I want to be wrong because of how it makes me feel to see my muscle definition on the. In the mirror. I'm like, there's just. I know that this might not be what the beauty stand is, but I look at when I see that and I'm like, I. I would not give this up for a man and I'll spend the rest of my life alone if a man never wants to look. I got hoes. I'm just being deep there. But I just.

[Jameela Jamil]

But also the beauty standard was set by pedophiles.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

True.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm sorry, that is a teen. That's a teenage girl. They want everyone to look like a teenage girl. Like, let's be real here. This is very Pedo coded all of it. And the Lolita of it all. You know, the guy who wrote Lolita was gutted to see that it got romanticized. He was like, this is a horror story. What are you doing? And we have that now as a kind of mainstream aesthetic and behavior where women are also acting like they're little and they're lost. And like, where am I going?

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I'm just a girl.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm just a girl. And I just think if any man is attracted to that, we should be checking his laptop. A grown man, like my boyfriend, is attracted to grown adult women. Like Monica Bellucci does it for him. She's at least 15 years older than me. It's so nice to know I'm not with a pedophile.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Right, right, absolutely.

[Jameela Jamil]

And that's all I see that as. I don't see a man who's attracted to a normal woman with a normal woman's body and a normal woman's face as some great saint who's overcome his natural urge. I see him as not a pedophile. And that's it.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Gorgeous.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

What you speak on and the work that you do is so important. And the things you say while playing characters that are known for being so beautiful. Do you feel that people ever, ever discredit what you have to say about body neutrality or about this? Like, if. Because they do see you as the ideal form of beauty. Have you ever faced that? Or that's why the conversation happens, or.

[Jameela Jamil]

Constantly. And it's a really, really difficult line to walk. Right. Because they're like. Well, it's easy for you to say all of this because you fit within the beauty standard less and less. So now that I'm getting older, and also when I came into the industry, my same face was not acceptable because you couldn't have a strong nose, you couldn't have big lips, you couldn't have tits. Like, you just. You couldn't have brown skin. They would lighten my skin and change my features in all the photographs. So when I would shoot for magazines. So it's been really interesting to have a face that's. And body that's gone in and out of fashion so intensely. But where I stand on this is that I absolutely acknowledge that it is that my voice is elevated above other people who are actively being discriminated against because of the Their looks. However, we live in a system that tells those people, well, you are just bitter, and that's why you feel that way. So we're not gonna listen to you. And I know that because When I was first talking about this stuff, I was in a much bigger body. When I was 19, I just had a car accident. I've been on steroids for years. Everyone told me just to shut the fuck up. They also don't want people who are within the beauty standard to speak up. What a brilliant way to make sure no one has the conversation. So what I can do is use my voice and then use my plat to leverage other voices, which is what I've always done, so that we can all be talking about this together. I don't want to be the only one talking about this. A, because it's fucking boring, but B, because I don't have everyone's different perspective. And C, I want girls who follow me to see that loads of people feel this way because we are so predisposed to following what we think the crowd thinks. And so, because I post so many women posting messages similar to your, where it's all about, like, getting bigger, stronger, eating properly, protecting your older lady body. Like, all these women who are like, what the fuck is everyone doing? I don't know if you've come across this online yet, but on my algorithm, the girls who are pushing eating disorder rhetoric, they're pushing, like, pro anno content are doing it like, it's like a rebellion. It's just like, we're the cool girls, we're rebelling. And it's like, what are you rebelling against? Bone density?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, right.

[Jameela Jamil]

Are you rebelling against a stronger.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I was just telling her about bone density. Just this morning.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Was like, you should get into my workout classes. You gotta work on your bone density.

[Jameela Jamil]

I was like, okay, I have osteoporosis because I starved myself for 20 years. I'm not even 40 yet. Like, this is insane. That is so real. People die from a fall. And I have sped up that process. I'm going into the menopause in the next decade. That's also going to dramatically reduce my bone density. I don't want to be fragile. I want to fight, hit someone, and I want it to hurt them, not me. You know, we've spoken a lot about violence, but, you know, that is important. But when they're rebelling, I'm like, oh, you're rebelling against body positivity. The movement to let people with disabilities or people in different bodies feel okay about themselves. Oh, you're so cool. So rock and roll. Rebelling against women's health and safety.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

The system that's always gonna be good for you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, exactly. I just don't understand what's happening? Yeah, it's really confusing to me. So I think it's very important that we highlight sensible people. And I do that all the time. And when you see enough people on my page or on your page or on anyone's pages, you're like, maybe this is fucking stupid.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is a weird waste of time. This is. It is weird in this day and age to simp for men.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Sure.

[Jameela Jamil]

And also, and this is something that I've been talking a lot about recently because I'm incredibly rude and kind of like a career suicide bomber. But the people who set the beauty standard. Have you seen these people? They do not look like the beauty standard.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Have you seen the editors of the magazines? Have you seen the designers? Have you seen the beauty trend setters? Have you seen the people who own the makeup brands? So you can fucking look like the beauty standard before you push anything on me, babe. Or mate.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Or me, babe.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Like, come on now, this is obscene. Who are we taking these orders from? Have you seen the men who are criticizing our bodies, you know, online or talking shit?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

It's like, sir, if they show their face. Sir, if they show their bodies and faces.

[Jameela Jamil]

So it's like, maybe you should go get a little less comfortable first before you tell me to. Yeah, all right. This is a scene.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Absolutely.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I get the. Is that a man? I'm like, honestly, I'm probably stronger than you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And you wish this would work out for you if you could do what I do.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

So whatever you think, buddy. Cause if that's what a man is, fuck.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

You're like, then I'm beating you.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I'm beating you. My laby is bigger than your dick.

[Jameela Jamil]

So it's like, I don't want to have sex with you. It's like, I don't want to have sex with you either. No thing.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

You weren't even in the running.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I'm all sad.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. It's so funny. Lots of smaller men in particular, I think, get quite upset about my body and then they transvestigate me. You know, there's lots of zooming in on my crotch to see if I'm. If I've got a penis. And I'm like, first of all, that doesn't upset me. Some of the hottest women I know are trans. And also, it's so odd to me to see this, like, desperation to understand what something different to the beauty standard is. There's lost. They're so confused. They're so insecure. They're so full of self hatred. It has never occurred to me to go onto someone else's page and on the way they look because I'm mentally stable.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Right.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I one time made a video where I would put a lot of comments on a. That men had made to me or just people in general had made to me. And with the song, like, when did it end? And one guy, he said, like, she should step on a scale or something like that. And I think he was verified. And I get a message from him, and he's like, hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about that comment I made. I'm getting a lot of comments, and I didn't say anything about it. The next comment was like, hey, okay, I'm getting. I'm being told to kill myself by your fans. Can you please take down this video? And I was like, I didn't take it. I was like, you typed it out. My fans are crazy.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

And posted it.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And sorry, you're verified. Terrified. You put it out there.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

It's a natural consequence.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah. This is not funny anymore. I've apologized, and your hands are coming for me. And I was like, I. This is a really great video, to be honest. Yeah. And it's really powerful, so I'm not gonna take it down.

[Jameela Jamil]

Bed you made is comfortable.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Sorry. I hope you learned.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Are you not sleeping tight?

[Jameela Jamil]

People's videos.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

There's never gonna be progress without disruption. I get so frustrated at people. Like, if there's just a protest in the street and they're like, I was 10 minutes late to work.

[Jameela Jamil]

I. And.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

And I was like, okay. And without that, without you making noise that you're annoyed, there's never gonna be any progress. And if we never do anything, if there's no actionable things for us to do, you're not gonna be able to make the progress you want. You know, it's making those videos. It is being confident in your own body, but, like, more so trying to find a good example.

[Jameela Jamil]

But, yeah, it was beautiful.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I like that. No partnership with you.

[Jameela Jamil]

100%.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I studied political science in college, and we did a whole class on just, like, disruption is the key. Like, you need to disrupt because you're not gonna be able to.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

No matter how many times you ask nicely, nothing's gonna get done.

[Jameela Jamil]

But to your point earlier, you know. But what?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I don't know what was my point.

[Jameela Jamil]

Earlier, but to your point earlier, what is the way to stop us from disrupting? Distracting. Distracting and searching. That's what all of this is about. We are in a tight system. Men have not Always been. It is not natural for men, grown men, to be attracted to teenage girls. We have thousands of paintings to prove otherwise. That there was a time where men were attracted to women of age with very curvy bodies. Like if you look at like the pre Raphaelite bodies, like, you know, if you walk through the Louvre, you can see the lineage of men's attractions. And they're varied. Just like our taste is varied, their taste is varied. And the women have body hair and they've got long hair, no hair. Like makeup. No makeup, whatever. Corset. No corset. Some of the greatest songs and some of the greatest art and music has been created about women who didn't look like an AI Chatbot teenager. So why the fuck am I gonna fucking stress myself out for that? Yeah, why don't I have a boyfriend who writes songs about me now as is Lovely. What am I gonna do? Get a facelift and ruin that?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Come on.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

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[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

If 2026 is your year, go to shopify.com mar and make your move. Well, I want to not dive in like a fun topic, but we heard you were a late bloomer. You had your first kiss at like 21. Which I pretty had my first kiss at 21 too.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did we kiss each other?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

It was. And it was us.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And it was you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Tell us about that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Were you just like. Did your parents ever say, like, don't even. Don't even look like, don't even go on dates?

[Jameela Jamil]

No. My mother was desperate for me to kiss someone.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

My mom probably was too, honestly.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, right.

[Jameela Jamil]

She was just like, what's wrong with it?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Right, right.

[Jameela Jamil]

But I just, I just, I was so bad at reading signals and I, I, you know, like, you have to be inside me to know that I'm. To know that you're attracted to me. Which obviously, like post me too, has been a nightmare. So thank Christ. I met James just before, but I really just can't, like, I can't pick up on anything. I was also very awkward. I was super tall. I was so much taller than the boys until they got to like 19. Awkward in a bigger body during size zero. And also just like, like, just had a bit of a rubbish personality, partially because I was awkward. But also, and this sounds really awful, my publicist asshole just went, but because I was so consumed with anorexia, I was quite a boring person. I didn't have anything else to talk about or think about other than just trying to be thin. It consumed every hour of my formative teen years. And so I didn't also have a lot to say for myself. I didn't have confidence. I didn't have a sex drive because my estrogen was on, my period had stopped. So I just think all the ingredients were there for me to not invite that situation in. But then also, and I don't drink, by the way, so then I also don't have that kind of social lubricant. And then on top of that, once enough times goes by, you don't want to admit you've never kissed anyone, so then you just leave it. And it was a friend who I'd confided in who kissed me for the first time.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Aww.

[Jameela Jamil]

Who kissed you?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

My, like, first one was I remember I was in a party and this guy pulled me in and he kissed me. I don't choose that as my first kiss. That was my freshman year of college and that was not it for me. This was a friend of mine who was like, really? And we did a lot that night as well. So I kind of knocked a lot, knocked a lot out on that night, but it was somebody waited until 21 and like somebody I really trusted and felt comfortable with and open for myself. It was never that I was down to. I was always down to do it. I just was like, never felt a pressure to do it. And I never felt I need to get this done or I need to lose this. It was just like, okay, this feels right. In that moment.

[Jameela Jamil]

I really didn't want to get it over and done with.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like, I really wanted it to be good and to be with someone that I actually liked.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yes, absolutely.

[Jameela Jamil]

But also, I would say I was significantly more into girls than boys. In my teens in particular, like, my first, like, kind of really understanding what I was attracted to was, you know, the odd boy. But mostly it was like a picture of Hugh Grant. Right, right, Hugh Grant. But the people in Perth that I was madly in love with was, you know, like a girl in school in particular who I was just like. But she was a little bit homophobic. Definitely not interested.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Which might tell you something.

[Jameela Jamil]

100%. 100%. Well, yeah, exactly. That's what I was saying on the Internet yesterday. I was like, if you think homosexuality is a choice, it's because you made a choice.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Dang.

[Jameela Jamil]

Somebody made a little choice secretly.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh. Oh, I love that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, it's true. It is true. But anyway, so I think that being in an all girls school where none of the girls were interested in.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Oh, there you go.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, was three. It was just like hell. It was hell. It was. I was a kid in a candy store when none of all the candy was like, get off me free. So that was tricky. Damn. But yeah, one of my best friends kissed me because one of my other friends, the 40 year old virgin, had just come out and everyone was worried that was gonna be me. And so for my 21st birthday, I got multiple copies of that DVD.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh, they're just gonna do multiple kisses.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. So a friend kissed me kind of out of pity. But then I was like, oh, you've kissed me. We must get married. And so simply. Yeah, I lost my virginity to that person and did all the things not anal, but I did everything.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

School debut.

[Jameela Jamil]

So, yeah, we had a great time. For several years.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Kind of same to me. Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I actually asked my friend. I think maybe they offered. We were very. And we were camping in a forest. I remember. And I was like. I think I was 16 at the time. And I felt. I was like, everyone's kissing.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I'm not. Everybody's kissing.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Everybody's kissing. I'm behind the curve. And so I asked them, and it was. I remember it was such a bad kiss. But then I didn't count that similar to you as, like. As my first kiss, just because under the influence, it was a friend. And so it happened my freshman year of college. I was doing homework with this guy, and then we were done. Cause we're doing it at, like, the student center. And we were walking back to our dorms, and I was like, oh, he's still walking with me, even even though his dorm is that way. I was like, why is he taking the long, long way? He was just walking me back to my dorm. And we're standing outside. I remember I was on my phone looking something up. And I look up, and he was like, a defensive lineman or something for, like, our football team.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Big guy.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

He's already. He's coming down. He's coming down. I look down, I look up, and there he is. He just, like, laid one on me, and I laughed.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

And I just, like, oh. And it haunted me for the next few days. I was so riddled with things. I remember the next day, I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't eat. I was like, everybody on campus knows I laughed.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

No way.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

And, like, there's no way I can recover from this. It is now one of my favorite stories. I can tell how, like, I giggled the first time I was, like, romantically kissed.

[Jameela Jamil]

And did it get around that you'd kissed during the. You'd laughed during the.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

No, because he was embarrassed, and I didn't think about that. Like, he didn't tell us.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah. Was he? Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Yeah. Because you're not gonna want to.

[Jameela Jamil]

Stressful. I didn't go to college, so I. I never had to deal with, like, anyone finding out anything about my, you know, pussy or anything.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Could you imagine now with phones, you can't do the crazy stuff we did.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, no, no. What about you and your first kiss being awful quiet?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

First kiss. Like, we.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Well, let's just say she got. She was wanted in high school. She was at the hottie.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Varying degrees of late bloomerness here. But I did have, like. I did get kissed in high school, but I didn't like it. Like, I didn't want anything to do with it. I didn't feel like I was ready for that. But it's what everyone was doing. And they were all having boyfriends and they would invite me to hang out with their boyfriend and their boyfriend's friends. So then I had to be there and kiss the boyfriend's friend and like that kind of thing where I was like. And I remember I would go the next day and I would like, then text these people and be like, I don't want to do that anymore. Like, I generally told told somebody one time, I don't want to kiss you anymore. Like, I just wasn't interested in it yet. But it's what everyone was doing. And then I didn't have my sexual debut because we didn't lose anything, ladies. We are not losing to virginities. I had that at like 19, which felt very late compared to everybody else. But still, same thing. I didn't feel pressured into it. Our mom was our, our school's sex educator, and she was very open about things always. It's hilarious. It was a Catholic school too, so it was brutal.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Abstinence is key.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah. She had to teach abstinence. But then with us at home, she was like, come to me if you ever feel like you need, like you want to be doing that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Slipping condoms into your lunch, something like that.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

But even then, even then I was like, no, no.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

She would have hoped.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I don't even. Yeah, she wishes probably. I was like, no, I don't even want that. But she was always who was made herself a resource if we ever wanted to. She was like, I feel you're too young, but come talk to me. And because of that, I was always like, no, I'm good. We're good.

[Jameela Jamil]

Your college story, weirdly, has reminded me of something that didn't happen to me, but happened to someone else. And it's entirely unrelated, but it's such a shocking story that I just want to tell you.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Please.

[Jameela Jamil]

We talked about this on my podcast. I have like a comedy disaster podcast, but there was two people who had had sex on a one night stand first year of college. So, you know, like, it's a big deal. And they've had sex with each other after a big night of drinking, and he's asleep. This happened to my makeup artist best friend. He's asleep and he wakes himself up with a fart that turns out to be a shot. He's in her bed, right? So he's like, oh, my God. This will travel all around college. And then everyone Will know forever. And I'll be shit boy for the rest of my life. And so he's like, what am I gonna do? He's like trying to clean it. It won't clean. It's just like spreading. So he's like, okay, maybe I can just pull the sheet out from under her. But then she starts to wake up. If she sees this, it's game over. It's game over 100%. So he does the worst thing. Does he tell her she did I've ever heard. He scoops it up in his hand and then he swipes it between her ass cheeks. And then he leaves, leaving a note saying, I don't want to see you again.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

No.

[Jameela Jamil]

And she, to this day, hopefully she's listening right now.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Listen up.

[Jameela Jamil]

She thinks she shat in her bed and that he's a really good guy who didn't tell anyone. Cause he didn't say anything to anyone. Cause obviously he was the fucking perpetrator. And so she would look at him when they pass each other in the hallway, kind of. Of like, thank you for keeping my secret.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

No, he could have.

[Jameela Jamil]

He's trauma. He traumatized that men are not lonely enough.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Traumatized.

[Jameela Jamil]

Could have easily.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

She could have woken up to him cleaning and be like, you shart yourself. I'm here to help.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

No, even that would have been better Swiped.

[Jameela Jamil]

He swiped it between her ass cheeks, like in a sexy way. So she was like, oh, she's sleeping.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

That's illegal. That's got to be illegal.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Got to be.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Somebody needs to enter a well worded email. Yeah, like actually a handwritten letter.

[Jameela Jamil]

Emotional damages.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I would not be if I thought.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Think about her for the longest time now.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Someone else's feal matter on my.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh, I didn't think about it that way.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's crazy. No, but you think it's your own, don't you?

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

You think you've disgraced yourself.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

He should send.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I don't think she.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Anyone else, like a thousand percent.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh, my God.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

She's a nun at this point. That's crazy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Anyway, I just thought I would traumatize the whole room.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

The whole room.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I feel like that would be his wrong turn.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, that was. That was his wrong turn. That's his wrong turn, but also somehow hers.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Right?

[Jameela Jamil]

Right. No, true. She thinks that it happened to her. God, these are the kind of horrifying stories you can hear on my podcast, as you can probably hear on Astonishing what people get up to. I swear to God.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Have there just been so many where you're like, okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's unbelievable. It has completely rebalanced society. It's been very humbling. I've told lots of embarrassing stories. Comedians who've told stories that they swore they would take to their grave. There was one really sweet story recently where this guy. This guy talks about going home with a woman who was really beautiful and the date was going really, really well. And he's a very hairy, like an extremely, extremely hairy man who feels like, you know, unconfident about that, especially in Australia, where they tend to be more hairless. So he has a routine of like, get the lights off, get your clothes off, and jump into bed before she sees how hairy you are. So he pulls that off perfectly. He gets into the bed with her. She's being really sexy with him, and she, like, whispers in his ear. She, like, rubs her hand down his thigh and whispers in his ear in a really sexy voice. How about we get you out of these trousers?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

No, no, no, that's not real.

[Jameela Jamil]

And then. And then he. He pretends to take them off.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I would too. He's like, of course they're tired. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.

[Jameela Jamil]

And gets back to the sex. He theatrically goes, that's. Yeah, you're right. Pretends to take his own legs off. And then. And gets back into the sex. And I think by then she's probably clocked it.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

But she's clocked it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wow.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I mean, bless her.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's the sort of story you'll hear on my podcast.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I love that. I love what's been your wrong turn.

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean, it's been bad. Like, I've orgasmed publicly. I've shit myself all over the road. I have one recent one. Not one recent one, but one I was thinking about telling recently was when I was having sex with someone from behind, and then they stuck it in the wrong hole accidentally. And I said, unexpected item and bagging area.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

No, you didn't.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes, I did.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

How do you come up with that?

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't know. My brain is broken.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

If you're being funny, though, because it's hilarious.

[Jameela Jamil]

It was the only thing that came to mind, and I said it in a very, like, unexpected item in bagging area kind of way, and it killed the erection. Death.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Right?

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, obviously. But yeah, so that's. That's my vibe.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I actually would laugh if that happened. I'm like that. I'd be like, that's really good smack.

[Jameela Jamil]

I agree.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I agree.

[Jameela Jamil]

I find funny sexy, but I think women find funny sexy, and I think men find it scary.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I do like to. I do like to crack a joke. I'll be cracking joke.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I shut the fuck up. For real.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I've been asked to be silent for five minutes beforehand so that I better ruin it because for this time. Just a little quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a rule in my relationship. It's like right now. Because otherwise I'm going to do one of my characters a voice. It's a problem.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I love it.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Well, I mean, tea was spilled. That was spilled.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

That was a hell of a tea time.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Shark was spilled.

[Jameela Jamil]

Shart was sponsored by the United Nations. Yes, yes, of course.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And toilet paper.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

And toilet paper.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

We're going to head just quickly into the book now. We are big readers here. I am big, you know, fantasy smut readers. But what are you currently reading? What has brought you joy in terms of the pages?

[Jameela Jamil]

I am a nonfiction girly because I don't have an imagination. So I'm rereading Period Power at the moment. Cause it has changed my life. Have you read this book? It is, I think, one of the most important books for all human beings to read. It teaches you everything about your sight, but also how to empower your life around your cycle. So the. The woman who wrote it, Maisie Hill, it took me eight fucking months to book her on my podcast because she only works on certain days in her cycle. Cause that's when she's gonna be her absolute sharpest. So she's got just this tiny window. She's really sticking true to this book. Obviously it's not realistic to only go to work, but when she has to go and sell her book, she's very, very bound to. And it has taught me so much about how to not just understand what's happening with my body, but leverage to my. Leverage it to my benefit and learn how to really track my body and understand my body. And I don't think there is anything more liberating for a woman to do than to understand her body. And it's also something that I've given to every man I know. Being like, if you. This is the Holy Grail. Like, this is the manifesto to women. If you can understand this, you can understand us. You have got to understand what 50% of the working population are going through all of the time. And it's changed relationships and it's changed my relationship with myself. And I'm so much less hard on myself now that I actually understand exactly what's happening. So that's something that I just highly recommend. And I reread It. Every time I start to feel like I'm losing control or losing my mind. Love it, but it's great. Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Okay.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

What about you adding that to our list?

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Oh, yeah. I read a Viking Love Romance. Fay inked in Blood. And then I read. I'm reading. I have to get through Emily Ratajkowski's My Body.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sure.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And then I'm also listening to Drew o F. Wallow's audiobook. I got a lot going on. I'm reading and listening to a single.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Original thought passing through here.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, no, no. But also, like, how funny to, like, maybe get, like, kind of the Viking mixed up. Emily and Drew.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

And Emily. She said that when she was on the boat. Oh, wait, yeah, no, sorry. She. She didn't raise the flag, the battle cry.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

No, it wasn't that.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

She, like. Olivia will read a lot of memoirs.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

They do a lot of memoir. I mix between fiction and nonfiction. I try to do what's happening, what everyone's talking about, what's going on in the bestseller list, what's happening. I'll do, like, audiobooks for those a lot of the time. And then. So right now I'm listening to. I'm mostly here to enjoy myself. I forget the author's name right now, but she's a writer in New York City who. She's in her late 40s, and she went through Covid alone and was not touched. And so the book is about her time going to Paris in 2021. So, like, main wave was over, but, you know, like, Delta and the other variants were still on the horizon. She escaped to Paris in search of pleasure, and pleasure only, basically, she hadn't been touched in years. And her body. And she's getting older, and she's without kids and a husband. And it's very good so far. I really like it. I'm mostly here to enjoy myself, is what I've been listening to. And I'm currently. And then I like to read the more smutty, fun things, the. The ones they be fucking in.

[Jameela Jamil]

So can I ask, why do you prefer to read that rather than listen to that on audiobook?

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I mean, fantasy books, I guess the ones that I do. And like, we were talking about this earlier, sometimes fantasy's hard to listen to and keep track of and. Cause you're not seeing names in places that are, like, made up. So it's easier to see it on a page with your eyes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Right, right, right.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I think it helps me escape more into the world if it's me reading it. Cause I can create more of the voices. This. In the audiobook, they're creating the voices. They're creating that. So I find it better.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Whereas I. When I read, like, a high fantasy sometimes, I love when it's an audiobook because it feels like it's a lighter lift. Because it's sometimes so daunting that I'm like, I don't have to do the work. I'm just being told a story. I'm currently doing Rag Picker King on audiobook. It's a second book from Sword Catcher. And I'm only, like, I think, 10 minutes in. Yeah, it's fantasy. Essentially. The whole thing is he's an orphan that was raised alongside of the crown prince. And with the magic in the world, he can. I forget how he does it, but appear as the crown prince. So if there's ever an assassination attempt, it goes onto him and stuff. The Sword Catcher.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

I'm gonna read that.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I've been enjoying it. Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's so cool. I wish I could get into any kind of fiction. I think Danny Wallace, the S Man is the only time I've ever been able to really.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

I'm the other way. I want to consume more nonfiction. And I think I'm. It's so easy to consume fiction for me. And I almost think I'm like. I think there's a point where there's too much, too many books.

[Jameela Jamil]

Really jealous of my tour manager. Like, when I used to be a DJ, that was my main job for in my 20s. And so I had this brilliant tour manager slash bodyguard. And he was this, like, big, muscly man. He was like 6 foot 5. Like, no one would mess with him. And he would play, like, really hardcore rave music the whole time we were in the car, which was just to keep me awake. Okay. So that I would be, like, hyped and ready. Cause some of these DJ sets are like, two in the morning, three in the morning. And I'm, you know, just a fragile little fucking pathetic mess. And so I would listen to this music, and it was, like, very much so. Like, part of his identity. But then when he'd think I'd fallen asleep, he would turn on his sexy audiobooks. And they weren't sexual. They were, like, really romantic.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Oh.

[Jameela Jamil]

And they were like. They were just like, this love stories that would go on. And because we would do these long tours that would go on for months and months, he would play, like, eight. I'd go through eight seasons where I sort of became a bit invested in the love story. And so I was pretending to sleep so I could hear what was gonna happen. But as soon as I would stir and he'd see I was awake, he'd quickly turn it off, and it would be like, dun, dun, dun. Men need to be listening to my stories. There's no romance anymore. I listen to like you listen to all from even just the 90s, as recently as the 90s. It used to be cool for men to love us and to care about us, and it was a mark of honor to be chivalrous and to love a woman. It's so sad what's happened now, and I really miss this time. And I hope it's gonna come back around. I hope that the. You know, they say that this is an extinction burst. What's happening? You've been seeing this about how Darwinism, when a behavior is. Yes. It's around evolution, that when a behavior isn't rewarded, the behavior gets worse before it finally breaks. So you'll see that with a toddler. Right. The toddler will keep getting louder and louder and messier and messier and worse and worse, trying to get the behavior rewarded. And after a while, as long as it isn't, the behavior starts to go away and they start to reform. That's what's happening with men.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Like the male only thing.

[Jameela Jamil]

Patriarchy is very, very modern in human history. We think of it as like, oh, this is how it's all always been. But even in the Bible, they're finding out that a lot of. They're realizing that a lot of the text that's about women being submissive was added in afterwards, after the original text by some insecure dude. So it's really, really fascinating to me that if we've been here for about 300,000 years, Homo sapiens patriarchy's only existed for like 6 to 10,000 years, and it's on its way out and a bit like wasps stinging people as they die, like, being more aggressive. I think that's what we're seeing. So women just have to hold strong. All of this fucking talk on the Internet about, like, how do we get incels to get. Women don't do it.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

They don't.

[Jameela Jamil]

They're not supposed to carry on their genes. No. And I think it's really important that we just hold strong, because this behavior, if not rewarded for long enough, will eventually die out.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Interesting. I haven't heard of that before.

[Jameela Jamil]

Get a vibrator and stay strong and eat carbs.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Stay strong, ladies. Do it all. Check, check, check, check, check, check.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, that's why you're so stable. This is the most stable room I think I've ever been in.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

You go easy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Female relationships. I feel so safe.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

You're part of the family now, so you gotta help out with a few chores.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Love chores around this house.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

She loves them.

[Jameela Jamil]

I would thrive in jail.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Yeah.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Okay. Okay. Choose a chore you'd like to do with a corresponding task. Laundry, dishes, or vacuuming.

[Jameela Jamil]

I would like to do the vacuuming.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Vacuuming.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Okay.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Vacuuming. Your corresponding task is. Oh.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Share a song that gets you hot.

[Jameela Jamil]

A song that gets me hot. Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh, I'm joking.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

That is a. That is a wild take out of left field. Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, it's. It's anything by Al Green, but simply beautiful by Al Green.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm an old lady. Yeah. It does it for me.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

I love that.

[Jameela Jamil]

I love that. I want to say espresso, but it's not espresso. It's Al Green. Simply beautiful. He was a man who was around in the early 1500s. And you can all enjoy that music. It's such a hot song.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Really.

[Jameela Jamil]

So sexy, and it sounds like he's singing it in your ear.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Okay. Yeah, that's our. That's our walkout song today.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Yeah, we're playing. I love it.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Well, thank you so much for coming over to the House of Mar. Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's such a pleasure to have you. It is so reassuring for me that you're all here. Women and girls desperately need this. These voices of dissent are so, so needed. I'm so thrilled to be in a room with you and so thrilled to get to meet you and watch you continue online. I'm. I'm. I've. I've needed you my whole life. And so I wish, wish, wish. And I know you hear this all the time that you've been around when I was little, because I would have. It would have saved me so much time and I would have so much more bone density now.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

So thank you so, so much.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Thank you for all that you do and all you say and God. Fighting the good fight. Well, you can find the movie people we meet on vacation on Netflix now. And you can find wrong turns wherever you get your podcasts. Follow Jameela ameliajamil everywhere.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Everywhere.

[Mar Mar (Host 3)]

Thanks so much for coming over to the House of Mar. A Wave original.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Be sure to watch and subscribe on YouTube and listen wherever you podcast.

[Mar Mar (Host 2)]

Plus, follow the show on social media ousofmar for clips and behind the scenes content. We love y'. All.

[Mar Mar (Host 1)]

Thank you, Doc. You and your sassy eels walk out here. Those are my There.