Airborne LIVE! w/ Scott Aukerman, Kumail Nanjiani, & Danielle Schneider (Classic)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "How Did This Get Made? – Airborne LIVE! w/ Scott Aukerman, Kumail Nanjiani, & Danielle Schneider (Classic Ep.)"

Date: July 7, 2026
Podcast: How Did This Get Made?
Host: Howard Kremer (filling in for regulars: Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas, June Diane Raphael)
Guests: Scott Aukerman, Kumail Nanjiani, Danielle Schneider
Theme: A comedic deep dive into the baffling 1993 rollerblading/surfing/hockey teen film, "Airborne," live at Largo in Los Angeles.

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Episode Overview

This live "all-star" episode sees regular HDTGM hosts replaced by veteran guest comedians to interrogate the strange cultural artifact that is Airborne—a film that strives to be the ultimate '90s teen sports movie, but winds up a genre-hopping oddity. The panel unpacks its hybrid of rollerblading, surfing, and hockey, the protagonist's lack of measurable growth, and the general confusion over what the movie is trying to achieve. Expect inspired tangents involving casting, '90s nostalgia, adolescent bathroom habits, and how Cincinnati feels about its unlikely sports legacy.

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Panel Introductions & Initial Impressions [03:33–07:39]

• Host, Howard Kremer welcomes the crowd and introduces "all-star" HDTGM guests: Danielle Schneider (Bitch Sesh), Scott Aukerman (Comedy Bang Bang), and Kumail Nanjiani (Silicon Valley, The Big Sick).
• Danielle Schneider: Admits confusion over the film's sport focus: "I didn't know this was a rollerblading movie. I was confused because it was also a surfing movie. And also a hockey movie." [03:56]
• Scott Aukerman: Had never heard of Airborne, jokes he thought it might be a movie adaptation of the medicine or a dog movie. [05:35]
• Kumail Nanjiani: Confesses, "Can I say, I also thought this was the dog basketball movie. And it is the saddest I've been since the election." [06:33]

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What Even Is This Movie? Core Critiques [07:39–17:04]

• Scott Aukerman: "It has the plot of maybe one Saved by the Bell episode." [07:49]
• Kumail Nanjiani: "I promise you, it was like morning when I started, and when I was done, it was dark out. It warped time and space." [07:54]
• Panel agrees it’s directionless, juggling "four different movies," and never settles on a genre or central conflict.
• Danielle, on the 90s-ness: "The guitar licks alone were so like Beverly Hills 902..." [09:55]
• Tidbit: Directed by Rob Bowman (X-Files, Elektra) and scored by Stewart Copeland of The Police.

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The Baffling Protagonist: Mitchell Goosen [13:07–17:04]

• Kumail Nanjiani: "It was the least likable protagonist I've seen in a long time, with a gross amount of teeth." [13:07]
• Scott Aukerman: "He has the most unappealing name. His name’s like Mitchell Goosen." [13:33]
• Danielle: "He and the girl in the movie had all the teeth of all the world." [13:15]
• The group laughs about the awkward "meet cute" with an overwrought monologue about Gandhi (clearly an audition monologue).
• Mitchell brings a surfboard to Cincinnati and refers to it as his 'stick', leading the audience to expect more surfing than the plot delivers.

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Cincinnati, Sports, and the Mystery of Plot/Structure [15:38–24:14]

• The town is inexplicably full of expert rollerbladers and hockey players.
• Kumail: "He adds nothing to the mix. He has nothing to learn in this movie. He shows up fully centered and talking about his fucking non violence or whatever and ends the same way." [16:48]
• The hockey segments make no sense:
  • "He’s just drafted out of the crowd to play, then hated for not being good." [20:56]
  • "He doesn’t own goal... but they pulled him out of the stands! Why are they mad?" [21:24]
• The infamous rollerblading race, "Devil’s Backbone," appears from nowhere in the third act.

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Jokes, Quotes, and Absurd Set Pieces

Surreal School & Teen Life [26:34–37:42]

• Speech class introductions:
  • "Name is Snake. I don’t like speech. I never even signed up for it. I ain’t got no hobbies, lest you call collecting knives and putting tattoos across the foreheads of guys. I don't like hobbies." [26:53–27:07]
• Favorite quote: "I want to be Al Pacino's love slave." [27:48]
  • Panel marvels that a 15-year-old girl character would set her sights on, of all people, then–50s "blind Al Pacino."
• Extensive riffing on the “I could give two left testicles” line.

Absurd Physical Comedy

• Mitchell takes a leisurely shit at school (shocking for a teen romance lead):
  • Danielle: "I was shocked—shocked—to see the lead romantic interest go take a shit." [31:53]
• Wet toilet paper prank: leads to a debate about bidets, school hygiene, and possible trauma.

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The Clothes Montage & Seth Green's Weirdo Character [35:20–39:49]

• Seth Green’s "outfit try-on montage" is highlighted as unusually long and potentially the first time such a scene features a male character.
• Seth Green’s room contains every kind of pop-culture ephemera, suggesting he’s multi-issue "weird," not just a nerd.
• Kumail: "He's five different kinds of weird—again, this whole movie, it's like four sports, he's five different things." [37:35]

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Cincinnati, Stunts, and the 90s

• The group marvels at the commitment of stunt performers.
  • Kumail (about watching stuntwork): "Some stunt person risked his life for this movie. She [his wife] was like, 'That bums me out, because that is tough.'" [43:59]
• Rollerblading staircases: “I’ve never seen rollerbladers, like, traverse staircases.”
• Wild confusion over what, if anything, Mitchell's unique attributes are.

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Plot Holes and Absurdities: The Devil’s Backbone Race [45:53–53:16]

• The iconic climactic race is an extended, inexplicable rollerblade chase through every possible Cincinnati landmark.
• Scott: "They rollerblade right past a stadium—that's part of Devil's Backbone."
• Danielle: "And makes no sense about the race. The only rules are there are no rules." [49:53]
• Kumail is forced to ask, "Who wins the race?" because even watching closely, the film fails to communicate the result clearly.

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Taglines and Marketing Disasters [53:16–56:59]

The hosts read a litany of a-little-too-ambitious taglines:

• “The world’s only rock and rollerblade movie.” [53:29]
• “Mitchell just became the most popular guy on Earth once he took to the sky.” [53:46]
• “To err isn’t human. It’s necessary.” [55:03]
• Panel digresses into how Airborne is a misleading title—Danielle: "They should have just called this movie Surf & Turf." [55:54]

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Audience Q&A & Live Bits [59:09–66:49]

Alternate Titles for the Movie:

• "Life is a Wave" [61:03]
• "Stylin" [63:22]
• "Sorry, Not Air Bud" [65:01]

Notable questions:

• Why does no one in Cincinnati care about each other’s injuries?
• Why is Cincinnati so proud of this obscure movie?
• "He died in that first hockey game. The rest is a Jacob’s Ladder scenario" [66:03]

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"Second Opinions" – Amazon Review Roast [67:13–74:49]

• The panel reads and lampoons five-star Amazon reviews, including:
  • "A rental to reminisce. Heart.” (from Nurse Mommy R.N., who was an extra in the film) [68:30]
  • "Great movie. Better than the crap they made today." (Manofwood, 2016)
  • "Wonderful movie to take my adult son back in time." (Pamela S. Ryan, 2014)
  • Unhinged screed comparing Airborne to Harry Potter: "You watch movies like Harry Potter, dude... If all you care about are special effects casting spells and nerdy kids flying... Go watch Harry Potter and leave the good stuff for those of us who are nostalgic..." [72:47]
  • Scott: "Harry Potter deserves the title Airborne more. They actually fly on brooms." [74:10]

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To Watch or Not To Watch? Recommendations [75:25–78:15]

• Howard: “Yeah, I think you should definitely watch this movie.” [75:25]
• Kumail: "You’re insane." [75:33]
• Danielle: “You have to really get the two people who saw Can’t Hardly Wait in the theater… Watch it. What else is there?” [77:11]
• Scott: “I think it’s well-directed... If you’re a fan of film ... No, don’t watch this.” [76:43]
• Danielle & Howard: It’s so mish-mashed, it’s like watching four movies at once—a time saver, perhaps, compared to Moonlight (which is “only three movies in one”).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "[Mitchell] brings absolutely nothing to the table. He shows up, talks about nonviolence... ends the same way." – Kumail Nanjiani [16:48]
• "Make waves, not war." (character's dialogue, roasted mercilessly)
• "I was shocked to see the lead romantic interest take a shit." – Danielle Schneider [31:53]
• "Heroes aren't made. They're airborne." – Tagline, to panel’s disbelief [56:39]
• “He didn't stop smiling till he saw the box office receipts.” – Kumail Nanjiani [39:15]
• "This movie warped time and space..." – Kumail Nanjiani [07:54]

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Notable Segments (Timestamps)

• 03:33 – Show opens, star intros, first impressions about the mystery movie
• 07:39 – The inexplicable blend of surfing/rollerblading/hockey
• 14:50 – Mitchell’s bizarre characterization and audition-style monologue
• 22:17 – The senselessness of the hockey subplot
• 26:44 – Bizarre speech class scene; "Snake" and "Al Pacino's love slave"
• 31:38 – Extended debate over bathroom scenes and school hygiene
• 35:42 – Seth Green's "trying on outfits" montage
• 43:25 – The implausibility of the town’s instant rollerblading mob
• 49:53 – Rules (or lack thereof) of the climactic race
• 53:16 – Epic tagline roast
• 59:09 – Audience Q&A: better titles, plot holes, live jokes
• 67:13 – "Second Opinions" segment: dramatic Amazon review readings
• 75:25 – To watch or not watch? Panel verdict

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Closing Thoughts & Tone

The panel’s approach is fast, irreverent, and fiercely critical, riffing hard on the film’s incoherence, obliviousness to structure, confusing script, and glorious ‘90s ridiculousness. Even as they lampoon Airborne's many failings, there’s a nostalgic fondness for the era’s unintentional comedy.

Final verdict:

• Watch Airborne only if you want to witness a time capsule of '90s sports-movie confusion, or if you’re a completist for Jack Black, Seth Green, or bemusing coming-of-age failures.

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A definitive quote to sum up the evening:

“This was—I know this is the name of the podcast—but I was watching it truly, like, how did this get made?” – Kumail Nanjiani [39:29]

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Transcript

[Paul Shearer]

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[Danielle Schneider]

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[Howard Kremer]

you got your rollerblading movie and my movie about Cincinnati hey you got my movie it's about Cincinnati and my rollerblading movie finally two great movies that have come together. We saw Airborne so you know what that means. Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly Rock a rhinestone vest while ripping Justin the Kelly or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crow and take a boat with speed to hit and cruise control J man Big Paul in the beautiful June gonna take you from the goob all the way to the room Ran the games of street Fighter help to blow off steam just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green Sharknado the birdemic how we staying alive they call it in the badass and he's on the line cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice cause the bad Jim Vonnie looking kind and Paul and June getting literal Jason is getting laid June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid they judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade Here's a real question for you. How did this get made? Hello people of Earth and hello people of Largo. We are live here in Los Angeles to talk about one of the most important rollerblading films of our time. Before we go any further, I want to tell you that tonight is a How did this get Made All Star show. Which means that our regular co hosts Jason Manzukis and June Diane Rayfield will not be here tonight. But instead. I know, I know. But instead they'll be replaced by how did this get Made All Stars? Hence the title how did this get made All Stars? These are all people you've heard on the show. They're coming back. And let's start with the introductions right here. You know our first guest co host from her show Bitch Sesh. She was on the episode Gigli and she's written for Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Please welcome Danielle Schneider. Have a seat down there. Welcome, Danielle.

[Danielle Schneider]

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[Howard Kremer]

So excited to have you. Because rollerblading is an important part of your life.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yes, always. I didn't know this was a rollerblading movie. I was confused because it was also a surfing movie.

[Howard Kremer]

That. Yes.

[Danielle Schneider]

And also a hockey movie.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes. That is my core problem with this movie.

[Danielle Schneider]

So that was. That was a trick of the mind and I. I'm still navigating that today.

[Howard Kremer]

We are going to talk all about that. Also joining us tonight, our second guest co host. This man we have put through hell. We have made him watch Sharknado 1, Sharknado 2, Sharknado 3, and also Speed 2. He is the host of the awesome comedy Bang Bang show on Earwolf. He has a brand new special coming up on Valentine's Day on Netflix called the Michael Bolton's Big Sexy. Valentine's day special. Premieres February 7th. Please welcome Scott Aukerman.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's up, jerks?

[Howard Kremer]

Welcome, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was trying to play entrance music.

[Howard Kremer]

I would have liked that. We'll put it in post. Very excited to have you back for your first non sequel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh my God. I was so happy until I saw the film.

[Howard Kremer]

I can't believe this movie has missed me. Did you see this movie before?

[Scott Aukerman]

I had never even heard about it. I'd heard about the fact that diseases are transmitted this way.

[Howard Kremer]

I thought it was going to be a movie adaptation of the great thing that you take before airplane travel.

[Danielle Schneider]

I thought it was about a dog who plays basketball.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's nothing in the rulebook. Nothing in the rule book.

[Howard Kremer]

Our next guest co host, you know him from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Howard Kremer]

Only one episode. That's surprising to me. I thought he had been on before this. He was in the Leprechaun in the Hood episode. You can see him on Silicon Valley. He has a brand new movie premiering at Sundance called the Big sick. He's also in the upcoming movie Fist Fight. Please welcome Kumail Nanjiani.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Can I. Can I say, I also thought this was the dog basketball movie. And it is the saddest I've been since the election.

[Scott Aukerman]

At what point did you figure out it wasn't. Did you keep expecting a dog to come in dribbling a basketball?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, there is a dog in the first five minutes.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yes.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And the kid calls it, hey, dog. Dog. He calls it dog twice.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, did you think that when the parents went away on their vacation, that he would go away? The parents would go away and the dog would be like, well, shit, I'll play basketball.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I thought. I thought the movie was gonna be. Yeah. The parents leave the kids with the dog, and then they're like, we're short one on the basketball team.

[Howard Kremer]

There's so much to talk about in this movie, but this one thing I think just stands out. And it's visual, but it's. I always say that there are certain signs that you know you're watching a bad movie, and one of them is, the movie is under 90 minutes. This comes in at, like, a nice 83, but it's not bad.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know if it's bad. I will tell you, it is the longest 83 minutes.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, you feel it?

[Paul Shearer]

You.

[Howard Kremer]

I would argue that that's probably because there's no. No real plot. No, like, that's pushing it.

[Scott Aukerman]

It has the plot of maybe one Saved by the Bell episode.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I promise you, it was like morning when I started, and when I was done, it was dark out. It warped time and space.

[Howard Kremer]

I would argue that it was like hearing the plot of one Saved by the Bell episode as told by someone who doesn't remember the episode of Saved by the Bell.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I think they're. I think they're surfer. No, no, no, no. They're rollerbladers.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They're rollerbladers and hockey.

[Danielle Schneider]

And who the bad guy is is still up in the air for today.

[Howard Kremer]

Multiple bad guys, multiple good guys, multiple

[Danielle Schneider]

sports girls who are featured hugely for the first 10 minutes and then go away.

[Howard Kremer]

I wanted to see more of those girls, but this is the thing that I always point to. Like, I love a good production logo that appears and you've never seen before. And this production logo takes the cake. I'm going to narrate it as it goes forward, but check this out. It's like fire collides, the name appears. Then all of a sudden, an elf with a sword comes up. The sword goes gleaming and It's Icon Productions, but I just thought it was like a pretty. I don't know why. I don't know why the elf felt to me slightly like overkill.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, well, that's. That's what the movie is. Because the movie is like four things at the same time. And so is this logo. The fire has nothing to do with the elf. Has nothing to do with the word icon.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, it doesn't.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It feels like, you know, as iconic as an elf on fire.

[Howard Kremer]

We need people to understand that icon pictures can be anything. It can be elves with swords and fire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And. Yeah. And it has nothing to do with the film you're about to see.

[Howard Kremer]

No, not at all. I mean, you know.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, they didn't make it thinking they would get to make one movie. They were like, this is the first one.

[Howard Kremer]

But this arguably, I think, is one of the most aggressive 90s movies I've ever seen.

[Danielle Schneider]

Oh, yes. It was filled with just. The guitar licks alone were so like Beverly Hills 902. They literally said to the guy who did Beverly Hills 902, they're like, we love you. We love your music. Please score our movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Point of order, I have to say the music is done by Stewart Copeland, drummer of the Police.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes, you are right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, the other pretty big name associate. This is directed by a guy who directed a ton of X Files episodes, including the X Files movie.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes. He also directed the Electra film, the

[Scott Aukerman]

sequel to Daredevil, the electrifying film.

[Howard Kremer]

What the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, but he is like a good. Like he was. I like Rob Bowman.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, he directed that. He directed the first X Files episode, his first X Files the same year this movie came out.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I have to say, this is directed well.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's well directed.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's. I do.

[Howard Kremer]

I know. I agree. Like, that's the thing about.

[Danielle Schneider]

He had to direct four different movies. He directed them all beautifully and get

[Kumail Nanjiani]

them under 90 minutes.

[Howard Kremer]

I would argue that's. Yes, it looks it like if.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, it looks expensive. I think.

[Danielle Schneider]

I think it was. It feels. They did underwater shop.

[Howard Kremer]

It was.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was the budget?

[Howard Kremer]

Budget was $2.6 million and it made.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Let me guess.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did you say three point? I'll say. I'll say 3.4, 2.8.

[Howard Kremer]

Nah, it just came in. It made some money.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It just made some Money.

[Scott Aukerman]

It made $4 on Amazon for me today.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was. I think it's funny that, like, first of all, it was hard to find this movie.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes, it was very hard to find.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I couldn't find it using my Xbox, I had to go to my computer.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, really?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And buy it and have it tell my Xbox, like, he actually wants to see this movie.

[Howard Kremer]

That's the Xbox looking out for its players. It's like, really?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Xbox was cock blocking me from this movie.

[Danielle Schneider]

What I was the beginning shots of the two guys having the guy and his best friend. I thought the entire movie was going to be about them. Right. And their romance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, they. They have such a great final scene together where they're singing California girls. And then the lead goes, ha ha ha ha. I love that song.

[Howard Kremer]

But my whole thing is you. You open a movie with these two dudes, like, beautifully rollerblading down the hills of, like, Santa Claus.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, Paul was imitating someone rollerblading.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just like, did this just arms out. You sort of look like one of the supremes a little bit. You were just.

[Howard Kremer]

The arms are out. Team Rollerblade is in full effect.

[Scott Aukerman]

Team Rollerblade, by the way, did the stunts.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, we. As you see it is.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You could tell when it was the actors and when it was stunt people because the first jump that they do in the movie is so unimpressive. And then they're jumping over cars and

[Scott Aukerman]

they keep a jump in where the guy falls down.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, it's. Yeah.

[Howard Kremer]

By the way, apparently the actor of the film was a real rollerblader, and that's why he got the job, because he took the director to all the cool rollerblading spots in New York and

[Danielle Schneider]

that sealed the deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Guess what?

[Danielle Schneider]

You can tell he's a rollerblader and not an actor.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was the least likable protagonist I've seen in a movie in a very

[Danielle Schneider]

long time with the gross amount of teeth.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Excuse me.

[Danielle Schneider]

He and the girl in the movie had all the teeth of all the world.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, they did take all the teeth in the 90s.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, he. To me, it's like, also, he's a cool California dude coming to Cincinnati. Whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Again, Paul is doing. I'm doing my sort of waves at this point.

[Howard Kremer]

Always finding the waves. But he has the most unappealing name. His name's like Mitchell Goosen.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, and they tell you the name a bunch of times. Like, they're super proud of it. There's going to be an iconic name. He's a real Mitchell Goosen type.

[Howard Kremer]

Mitchell Goosen is not a cool name. I don't feel like, oh, what did Mitchell Goosen say about that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

When he meets the girl, they're meet cute. When they're like. And he Says his full name. It's like, the vibe is so scary. It's like, what's he gonna do to.

[Howard Kremer]

I feel like the reason why that scene was so uncomfortable was because it was clearly his audition scene. Cause it's like a big monologue about, like, Gandhi. I did the hands again, but, like, about Gandhi and not fighting for things. Like, he. His eyes were like, I got this part. I got it all down. Like, he really stared at her.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He also. He has some long, like, he does a big monologue when he's Mind surfing. You remember that when he puts, like, his surfboard on the bed and stands on it and, like, speaks a lot.

[Howard Kremer]

He aggressively brings his surfboard to Cincinnati.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He calls it his stick. He says, I don't go anywhere without my stick.

[Howard Kremer]

Which would lead you to believe it's a surfing movie.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was impressed that they gave it to him on the tarmac.

[Danielle Schneider]

Me too. I have never been handed anything on the tarmac.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, it was pre 9 11, guys.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yes.

[Howard Kremer]

Simpler time.

[Danielle Schneider]

That is made clear throughout the movie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's also in the opening, they're rollerblading to go surfing. Yes. But they don't have their sticks with them.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Howard Kremer]

Do they keep the. The sticks at the beach?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think they check the sticks in at the beach.

[Scott Aukerman]

The movie seems like it was. The whole idea of it was, you know how when surfers, they drive to go surfing? What if they rollerbladed?

[Howard Kremer]

Well, I feel like it was like, you know, we're pitching this movie, so it would be what the kids do, you know, whatever, rollerblading, surfing, hockey, whatever it is. And then we. We see him, and then we go to Cincinnati and then, you know, whatever, he gets in the rollerblading surfing competition, whatever. And they never decided what it was. They're like, all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll do it all.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They'll do it all.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I thought it was going to be a hockey movie. Like, when it locked into hockey, I was like, all right, we're in. Yeah, hockey movie. Let's go.

[Danielle Schneider]

Also one scene. My problem with the hockey was that it didn't seem to be school sanctioned hockey.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Who are the vil. Who are the other team?

[Howard Kremer]

The preppies. We know that. The preppies.

[Danielle Schneider]

But the hockey game. The first hockey game was in some ragtag hockey room. And the second hockey game for the playoff was on the street with the.

[Scott Aukerman]

And with rollerblades.

[Howard Kremer]

But that was my biggest problem. So you would think if you're writing this movie, you go, all right, well, maybe the thing that he brings to the table is rollerblades. Yes, but no, they're all fucking great rollerbladers too. Everyone in this town knows how to rollerblade really good. And ice hockey.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's a very good point. I hadn't thought of that.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, I was like, that would be like what he's adding to the mix. He adds nothing to the mix.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He adds nothing to the mix. He adds nothing to the mix. He has nothing to learn in this movie. He shows up fully centered and talking about his fucking non violence or whatever and then he ends the same way.

[Howard Kremer]

He like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And his whole struggle in the movie is to not like get into a fight with someone, which is odd because he doesn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

And to ride out six months, the

[Kumail Nanjiani]

stakes could not be lower.

[Paul Shearer]

Today's podcast is brought to you by

[Howard Kremer]

our friends over at Squarespace.

[Paul Shearer]

You know, I love Squarespace because with Squarespace, everything that you need to succeed online is in one spot. From claiming your domain to building a beautiful website, promoting your work and taking payments. It's all there. Whether you're just starting out or ready to grow easily, create a standout site using design designer templates or AI with drag and drop editing. It makes everything so easy. I have so many sites. The dinosaur site, the how did this get made site, the Paulshear.com, it's all there. And they're all completely different because Squarespace allows me to adapt my style for each one of those sites into a format that they make look good. Does that make sense? I make sense to me. Look, whatever you want to do, offer services, book clients, get paid, it's all in one place with Squarespace. Right? You can even do scheduling, invoices, and they have email tools built in people. It's great. I love Squarespace. Go to squarespace.com bonkers for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. There are things in life that you don't want to be transparent, like your swimsuit or your search history. But when it comes to your wireless bill, transparency is everything. That's why Mint Mobile's wireless plans have no gimmicks and no gotchas. Just high speed data and reliable coverage on the T Mobile 5G network. And right now, all plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. So to get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com HDTGM that's mintmobile.com HDTGM and cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.comHDTGM that's it. There's no catch. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $100 required $15 a month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term Only greater than 50gb may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20gb hotspot capable device required Availability, speed and coverage vary. See mintmobile.com youm know, lately I've been really struggling to keep up with my to do list. You know, June's been filming out of town so I've been in single dad mode while recording both of my podcasts, shooting the dark web, writing scripts, acting, directing. It's been so much.

[Howard Kremer]

I feel like my day to day

[Paul Shearer]

is so busy I have no time to tackle all those random tasks on my to do list. Thankfully, that's where TaskRabbit steps in. I just picked a trusted tasker and they will show up and get it done. And Taskers are often available to help that very same day. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skillset availability and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they are doing. I mean, I love to get things framed and I will say that I'm pretty crappy at hanging them in a straight line. I called a tasker and they hung four pictures perfectly on the wall. They look professional. And guess what? I didn't have to redo it a million times because I didn't do it. When life happens, your to do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first [e-mail] or on the TaskRabbit app using the promo code Bonkers. Taskers book up fast, especially for same day tasks. So book trust today. That's 15 off your first task by using promo code bonkers with the TaskRabbit app [e-mail]

[Howard Kremer]

and the end. The reason why he's hated by the bullies, first of all, is just because he's from California.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So that's like the Also as an insult to call him pretty boy. I'm like, that's not an insult.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever been called that in your life? I would love it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I would love it. Hey pretty boy. Oh thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello.

[Howard Kremer]

Thank you so much. But then the reason why he gets really hated by the school is because they oddly draft him out of the crowd to play on their hockey team and then is mad when he sucks.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He. He doesn't own goal. He. He goals the wrong goal.

[Howard Kremer]

But they called it. It wasn't like he goes, hey, guys, I could play hockey. Put me in. No, no. He's, like, in the stands, not even really there to enjoy. Why he's not even enjoying.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they sort of want him to do it as a punishment to him. So why are they so mad?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, they want to. Yeah, they want to win, but they also want to embarrass this kid, so they put him on their own team. It makes no sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Put him on the other team and score a goal.

[Danielle Schneider]

And also, he did score a goal, even though it was for the wrong team. He did show prowess on the court. Why not use his abilities?

[Scott Aukerman]

His first hit went him in the right direction.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Was solid.

[Danielle Schneider]

I know. I was like, why not? Yeah. Why not say, okay, we've got something here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's a very minor adjustment we need to make.

[Scott Aukerman]

Turnaround 180 degrees.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. And by the way, I was a little bit confused though, too, because it seems like you'd have to be a real moron to not understand how hockey works. Like, it's not like, what is this sport like, you know, it's like.

[Danielle Schneider]

I will say, though, that his team didn't. No one had the same shirt on, so he couldn't tell who was on his team.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Why did he wear a different outfit?

[Danielle Schneider]

I guess they were ragtag.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay.

[Howard Kremer]

But yet. They were. But yet there is a real scoreboard. But it's weird because it is also like, they're playing, it seems like, outside of school. Like, not school sanctioned. And then later on, then they have a less school sanctioned, like, rollerblading version of hockey. Like, and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And more people come to that.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Than the school sanctioned one. And then I was just watching, like, imagining the whole game stopping down for a half hour while he got dressed. Like, what were they doing?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How did he just show up? Like, they.

[Scott Aukerman]

It just is like a hard cut to him in the outfit. Like, oh, this is comedy. But I just was thinking, like, that's like a.

[Howard Kremer]

That's a lot now, by the way, don't be mistaken. This movie. Hockey is not a major part of this movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we shouldn't. We shouldn't even be bringing it up.

[Danielle Schneider]

No, sorry.

[Howard Kremer]

You could argue the third act has nothing to do with hockey. The biggest challenge of the movie, hockey is not present at all.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It is a movie that, to your point, it does keep you guessing. It starts off, you're like, his parents are like, we're going to Australia. I was like, oh, great. It's a movie about an American kid who has to make it in Australia. And then they're like, no, we're leaving. I'm like, okay, great. It's an American kid who gets the house to himself in California. They're like, no, you're going to Ohio. Okay, great. He goes to Ohio and then learns hockey. No, it's rollerblading and.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. And, like, they make a big deal of getting his surfboard off the plane. Like, it should be like his rollerblading skates. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, I mean, well, he says at one point, like, something I should have remembered. Yeah, dipshit, you're going to fucking Cincinnati.

[Howard Kremer]

And I will argue the movie is called Airborne. And I don't want to really call too much attention to it, but airborning doesn't really happen until I would argue the last frames of the movie. Yeah, it's one airborne.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

A solid third of this movie is a race at the end.

[Scott Aukerman]

It really should be called Earthbound.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Or fuck this kid. He sucks.

[Danielle Schneider]

I have a question on something I've never seen before in a movie where the movie is from his point of view. Right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Pov.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yeah, pov. Of course. But in the first, once he gets to Cincinnati, you see a fantasy sequence. Sequence from a character we've never seen's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Danielle Schneider]

Point of view.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Or where he's, like, shirtless and.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, no, before that. He's just sitting there and the bully looks at him and imagines throwing him through the window.

[Howard Kremer]

And I thought that was real. And I was like, oh, this movie just got amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

This movie just got airborne.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, they threw him out of a window. I was like, oh.

[Danielle Schneider]

But then it turns out to be a dream sequence from someone we have not met.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's also a testament to the movie that we've been talking about it for a half hour and have not mentioned that Seth Green and Jack Black are in it. Yeah.

[Howard Kremer]

There is Jack Black working hard. Like, you could see why Jack Black popped. I mean, from.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't think any of his lines were in the script.

[Howard Kremer]

It couldn't have been.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's making shit up. It's great.

[Howard Kremer]

I like a young Jack Black.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think Seth Green is great in it too.

[Howard Kremer]

I think. Look, I feel like you watch those guys. Like, these guys are fucking working. They're like, what can I do? Like, what? Like, give me. I'm. I'm trying.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll be in the shot. Oh, yeah, you want me in the shot? I'll be in the shot.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, I'll improvise this too.

[Danielle Schneider]

I will say the, the. The other bully, Jack Black's friend was 35.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Danielle Schneider]

He was an older man.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's complaining about his hemorrhoids.

[Danielle Schneider]

It was strange to see him surrounded by children.

[Howard Kremer]

There are weird things that these kids say.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I did. Oh, yeah, I wrote down some stuff.

[Howard Kremer]

They say I have this. Basically, this is. At one point they have to like introduce themselves in speech class.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yes. This was.

[Howard Kremer]

And there's one in particular that I really want to talk of, but. But it may just be worth watching some of these speech class things. It's pretty great.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Name is Snake. I don't like speech. I never even signed up for it. I ain't got no hobbies. Lest you call collecting knives and putting tattoos across the foreheads of guys. I don't like hobbies.

[Scott Aukerman]

The first one certainly is a hobby. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Really collecting.

[Howard Kremer]

And by the way, you would argue, is that the villain of the movie?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, it's just a stereotype.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, all of the villains have vaguely Hispanic names, including Jack Black.

[Howard Kremer]

What's Jack Black's name?

[Scott Aukerman]

He's like Javier or something. Or maybe I'm the racist.

[Howard Kremer]

Uh, oh, Augie is his name.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, but that's his nickname.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

He introduces himself as like a Hispanic.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, he has a long name. That's right. He has a long name.

[Danielle Schneider]

But she gives one of my favorite speeches. I'd like to say who she finds hot is very timely.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, yeah, here we go. This is my. The next one. Sorry. Coming out of Snake.

[Danielle Schneider]

I love her.

[Howard Kremer]

Wanna be Alucino's love slave.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Howard Kremer]

If you didn't hear that because I rewound it when I watch it. I want to be Al Pacino's love slave.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Al Pacino's what?

[Howard Kremer]

Love slave.

[Danielle Schneider]

Which I guess he was a hottie of the 90s.

[Howard Kremer]

I googled. She just had seen Scent of a Woman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He had just done Scent of a Woman where he plays a blind man,

[Danielle Schneider]

a blind veteran of Vietnam.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Nobody watched that and was like, he should be my sex master.

[Howard Kremer]

I'm a 15 year old girl and I would really love to be boned out by blind Al Pacino. Like, he's clearly like, he's in his 50s at that point.

[Danielle Schneider]

Right.

[Howard Kremer]

He has to be.

[Danielle Schneider]

I had to rewind too. I was like, did she just say old man Pacino as her love sleeves?

[Howard Kremer]

Al Pacino's love sleeves makes me think

[Kumail Nanjiani]

that maybe the script was sitting like on the back burner for a long time, but then why would it be about rollerblading?

[Danielle Schneider]

It could have been roller skating.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, everything so 90s.

[Howard Kremer]

Everything is 90s. But we don't have to do Mitchell Goose.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know. Maybe we do.

[Howard Kremer]

All right, let's go into it. Yeah, why not? These are all pretty great. So here we go.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

All right. Look at his.

[Paul Shearer]

Here we go.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Mitchell Goosen, at your service. I'm not from around here. Hey, what's who tell? Well, I don't have any stories. Don't know what I want to be

[Scott Aukerman]

when I grow up.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Don't care. Just as long as I live near the beach and don't have to wear a tie, then I'll be styling. Styling?

[Howard Kremer]

What?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is having to wear a tie a big problem?

[Howard Kremer]

By the way, he angers people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, he anchors me.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I get it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I fucking hate him.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I get it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I side with the bullies. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

When the guy goes, I found myself. I'd already done that gesture. I was like, oh, he's doing it too.

[Howard Kremer]

I guess we're supposed to hate Mitchell Goose. We are Cleveland in this movie. The audience is Cleveland.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The way he, like does his hair when he like gets one finger through

[Howard Kremer]

the side of it. Oh, man, he's wearing like a serape

[Danielle Schneider]

around a hoodie, but with like a baja under it. Like, the costumer is like, we really need people to know that.

[Howard Kremer]

He's a surfer, by the way, also, wouldn't you. Again, he doesn't even bring anything to them. Like, you don't like at the end. Like, like the bullies don't go like, oh, we should meditate or we should like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or we should wear this kind of thing.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. He doesn't give. He doesn't depart. He doesn't give them anything.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's not like nobody learns anything in this movie. At one point I wrote down, he says, make waves, not war. He should have been shot.

[Scott Aukerman]

And by the way, you're not making waves when you're surfing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, you're not the moon. Good one, right? I nailed him, bro.

[Danielle Schneider]

Also in this scene, everyone's being terrible to each other and the teacher just.

[Scott Aukerman]

The teacher needs to get control of his classroom.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The teacher is younger than the 35 year old bully.

[Howard Kremer]

And guess what, people? The teacher is the writer of the movie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sometimes the world just makes sense.

[Howard Kremer]

Just like writing in this movie, he just sat back and let his characters just go off on a journey.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Also, at one point he says he's getting into a fight with the bully. And he says, I could give two left testicles about and Then something. And it was. Are you like, volunteering someone else's testicle along with yours?

[Howard Kremer]

I want to talk about what Mitchell Goosen does at high school, which is a lot of shit that I would never do. Like, first of all, he takes his shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Howard Kremer]

Who's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I noticed that he's taking a long time with that shit. He takes out a magazine for that shit. He's not, he's not like scrambling in there, trying to get it done as quickly as possible, running out. That's what I was doing.

[Danielle Schneider]

Also another thing he did. I've never seen a lead, a romantic lead of a high school movie take a shit. And I was shocked, shocked and walk around with like a sweaty, gross to me. I literally was like, I'm no longer attracted to this child.

[Scott Aukerman]

The.

[Howard Kremer]

I would argue that the follow up scene is worse because they. They wet all the toilet paper. Part of the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What did they do?

[Scott Aukerman]

They wet all the toilet paper. But what. Wouldn't you rather use wet toilet paper on your ass, which is sort of like having a Japanese toilet in a way, 100%, than just leaving the. In your butthole.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Wait.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's the implication that he leaves the. In his butthole.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So when he's walking around like this, like.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because of the shit in his butthole.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, he stuffs the shit back up in his butthole.

[Danielle Schneider]

I would argue that he didn't stuff

[Kumail Nanjiani]

the shit back in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

He didn't pull it to the toilet, puts it back.

[Howard Kremer]

If I can't wipe, I gotta save this for later.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I have to do this later.

[Danielle Schneider]

I. I would argue that even more disgusting than him taking a shit was him during the shower sequence, leaning against a dirty shower wall.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's lean. He is full on shampooing.

[Danielle Schneider]

But again, who leans against the shower

[Howard Kremer]

wall of a public school bathroom in which no one else is showering? Which made me believe that he just went in there for a shower break. It wasn't like the end of gym because there's no one else there. It's like private shower time.

[Danielle Schneider]

I literally. I was gagging with the thought of his back against a dirty wall. Like, it made me so sick I had to fester.

[Howard Kremer]

Were you gagging more there or when you saw this? Cause this upset me when Seth Green took a shower and on his wall was just like, it looks like vomit. Like a vomit.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What is that?

[Howard Kremer]

Well, thank you to Avril Halley, our amazing video researcher. We have been looking and looking at this and she and I were emailing back and forth and she's like, I tried to figure it out. I zoomed in on it. I went all back and. And this morning she emailed me and she goes, I figured it out. Does anyone think they know what's on that wall? Oh, what is it? Well, no, not what is the product? Do you see something written in there? That's what it is. The name of the girl that he was on a blind date.

[Danielle Schneider]

This is.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay. So many issues. First of all, baseline creepy. Beyond that, if you're in a movie, gonna don't use product that's the same color as the wall. Yeah, there should be contrast. Just use shaving cream. That'll be white. No, we gotta get a green thing.

[Howard Kremer]

Green body fall. I don't even know what that is. It looks like. It looked like to me, like, I don't know, like a snot wall or something.

[Danielle Schneider]

It's not like I had a totally different image. I thought that this. This family was in trouble and that this house was decrepit and that grime and grease and no one is clean. I was worried, and I'm not. I literally was like, this family's in trouble.

[Scott Aukerman]

My problem is who masturbates to a girl's name like Gloria?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's what I was doing before I had access to porn. I would just write down the name of the girl. I would just write down Cindy Crawford and read it while masturbating.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, that scene is in front of, I think my favorite scene of the whole movie, which is the clothing montage scene. Oh, God. And, you know, all movies in the 90s had this thing where they tried on different outfits. But I believe. I feel like this may be the first time you saw a dude do it. I don't think dudes did.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And it was a solid 25 minute long scene.

[Howard Kremer]

I have each one of the outfits we can kind of look at. You know, first one, obviously was. First of all, my question was, he has all these outfits.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yes.

[Howard Kremer]

There's a lot of styles that he has in his. In his.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's got a lot of looks.

[Howard Kremer]

So he's got the. He got the motorcycle look.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Clearly they were like, oh, Seth Green's a star. Let's give him a showcase here.

[Danielle Schneider]

But can I say that Goose Gooseman was. Was just. He was thrilled. He was laughing.

[Scott Aukerman]

He loved it. He was laughing his ass off.

[Danielle Schneider]

He was tickled as. I've never seen this movie.

[Howard Kremer]

They like people laughing. I mean, when a joke gets told at the hockey rink too, they're all like, it's like a pan of Just laughers like hahahaha. He pulled down his pants.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ha ha ha ha.

[Howard Kremer]

I've never seen people laugh that much at a pants pull down.

[Danielle Schneider]

I once got a note on a script that said we don't need the people in the. In the movie laughing, we need the audience laughing. And I don't think that these people took that note.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That is a great note. They were trying to trick us.

[Howard Kremer]

I'm trying to look like, why does

[Kumail Nanjiani]

he have all this stuff?

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, it's a lot of, you know, he's just going through all the looks.

[Danielle Schneider]

It was very Sex in the City. This whole sequence.

[Scott Aukerman]

This. Oh, this one.

[Howard Kremer]

This is the one though.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I have a question about this whole montage. Are we supposed. Is he trying to make Goosen laugh or are these to him viable options because he's goofing around. But also he's disappointed at some point that his friend is laughing at him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it slightly seems like he's trying to make him horny with this one.

[Howard Kremer]

It is an odd thing. And I will go back to this. I really like Seth Green in this movie. I really like Jack Black in this movie. But my issue with Seth Green's character is I don't know how he is weird. He seems multiply weird. Like it's not like, oh, he's blank. It just seems like he's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He is weird in many different. Yes, again, this is the whole movie. It's like four sport. He's five different.

[Howard Kremer]

Because you wouldn't be like, oh, he's just the nerd. No, he's just the thing he's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Cause that's a Megadeth like banner there.

[Howard Kremer]

I wrote down some of the things in his room. It was like Eraserhead Kiss, then just random skulls, then Jack O' Lanterns and then Megadeth and then acd. It's all over the place.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yeah, I too was looking around his room for clues as to who he was and I couldn't make heads or tails.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

When he first shows up and he turns, turns the light on, it's all weird red.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And we're supposed to be like, what a dweebazoid. But I was like, that room's awesome.

[Howard Kremer]

I liked his room. That's what I'm saying. It was. I didn't understand where. Where he's supposed to be. And in this sequence where he's wearing the mesh top and the pants, I think this guy could be the. The guy. Was it the butcher Bill from Silence of the Lambs? Whatever that guy, his name is Buffalo Bill. Buffalo Bill.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah. No, when you first meet him, he's a fucking hideous. He's a monster. Like, he's. He's dressed like an idiot.

[Howard Kremer]

And that's the problem, though, with 90s movies.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know, fucking live your bliss, whatever. But movie's trying to tell us something.

[Howard Kremer]

But then when you watch a 90s movie, that's the problem, because he's supposed to be like an idiot in the 90s. But when you look at the 90s movies, everyone's kind of dressed like idiots. And you're like, oh, I don't know where the base is, because the cool guy looks pretty. That guy's wearing a fucking poncho over a hoodie. And he's the cool one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And he's like this all the time. This is not a podcast bit, but he really is smiling the entire movie. You can't find a still frame where the kid's not smiling.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, he says like, he also, like. Well, all right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He didn't stop smiling till he saw the box office receipts. Anyway, Kumeo, you can edit. You can.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come on.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Kumail, I'm so sorry. You can edit that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, this is a mean podcast, but that's too far.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This was. I know this is the name of the podcast, but I was watching it truly, like, how did this get made?

[Scott Aukerman]

I was like, how did this get made?

[Howard Kremer]

I feel like it was. I feel like this is what it was. Someone found out that there was a tax break in Cincinnati, and they're like, if you can write a script in four days, we can shoot this and

[Kumail Nanjiani]

you can be in it.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. And he's like, what?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You could be the teacher.

[Howard Kremer]

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[Paul Shearer]

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[Danielle Schneider]

A honeybee is out here doing her thing in an orchard, lands on a mystery apple blossom, then carries that pollen over to a honeycrisp tree.

[Howard Kremer]

Fast forward a few months and no

[Danielle Schneider]

exaggeration, something amazing is born. The Sugar Bee Apple. Packed with notes of honey, caramel and molasses, plus an extra crisp crunch, Sugar Bee apples are perfect for snacking, baking and everything in between. Download our new free recipe book and find a store near [e-mail] Naturally Sweet

[Howard Kremer]

from B2U by the way, there is a lot of Cincinnati love for this movie. Like there was this an article written about it for the 20 year anniversary

[Kumail Nanjiani]

and like yeah, somebody celebrated the 20

[Danielle Schneider]

year anniversary of this movie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, it must have been 2013 because this movie's from 93.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. So it's 2013. They wrote a big. There was a big thing about 20 year anniversary rollerblading.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

When you say big thing.

[Howard Kremer]

Like they shut down all of Cincinnati

[Scott Aukerman]

to kind of all of Cincinnati.

[Howard Kremer]

All of it. All four shots.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Listen, the movie sucks. Let's not take shots at Cincinnati.

[Howard Kremer]

No shots at Cincinnati. No, I. No, I don't know. I believe that Cincinnati is very proud of this film is that I have no facts to back that up, but I believe they're very, very proud. That's so sad when they do. Oh, that was the one thing too when he shows up. Well, there's so many things when you first see him rollerblading around Cincinnati and he pulls out those rollerblades, he creates a Creed esque kind of flash mob of everyone on roller skates. Like everyone has been secretly like having these roller skates and be like, oh wow, this guy brought out his blades. I guess everyone like whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's been there, by the way, for three months at this point. Yeah, he should. He obviously knows where all of these rollerbladers are. And he's never gone to visit them or said, hey, by the way, I have a pair at home. You know, I should get those shipped to me, or whatever.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He.

[Scott Aukerman]

He goes right to them. He knows exactly where they are.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They have skate parks there.

[Howard Kremer]

And he didn't seem to be. Was he that much better than anybody else?

[Scott Aukerman]

At one point, someone says, man, he's fast. That's the only.

[Howard Kremer]

The thing I was most impressed with is that he kept on running down stairs. Well, yeah, I was like, I never have seen rollerbladers, like, traverse staircases. Like, I didn't know that was a part of rollerblading.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Emily was there for, like, 10 minutes while I was watching it, and she was like. She got genuinely sad because she was like some stunt person risked his life for this movie. She was like, that bums me out, because that is tough.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, that was.

[Scott Aukerman]

He.

[Howard Kremer]

They. But that was pretty amazing in the film, just effortlessly. And they did a lot of stair work. A lot of, like, it was. It was.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Danielle Schneider]

He seemed to be sort of a Pied Piper of wheels during that scene where, like, anyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

He attracts wheels to him.

[Danielle Schneider]

People on wheels, you know, like any sort of. Like, there were kids sort of following his, like, his happiness.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cars suddenly came by him.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, and I think. And I think part of the thing, like, that you like pizza rollers. One of the things that you like about, like, Rocky and Creed, like, Lizzie

[Kumail Nanjiani]

rollers those painting brushes that are circular for whatever reason that helps you get paid quicker.

[Howard Kremer]

In Rocky and Creed, they run every day, and people are. And then you would imagine, oh, after like, three or four months of running every day, the town kind of is like, oh, wow, they fucking run. I'm gonna run every day. And then the group gets bigger and bigger and bigger. This is like the first day with really, within the first hour. He puts on the blades. Everyone's immediately attacked.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, they've been waiting for years for someone with rollerblades to show up.

[Howard Kremer]

Even though it's a town where the rollerblading scene is quite active, it is vibrant. Like, so he's not doing anything that not everyone else is doing. And which brings me to my point that even the hockey team has a rollerblading league that they are great in.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They're great in it.

[Howard Kremer]

And then he comes and he's just, like, a little bit better than them.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But he's not.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Howard Kremer]

He jumps over a couple things. I feel like they all do.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Don't defend this movie, Paul.

[Howard Kremer]

My favorite part, though, of that rollerblading hockey scene was when he is being chased by the preps. Like conveniently, there's like a bunch of plywood, like over like a swampy area. Yeah. So you could just like clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk.

[Scott Aukerman]

And like slide, you know, the location scout scouted it when it was warm and dry. They showed up to the day was muddy. Yeah. How the are we gonna film this scene? Go get me five boards.

[Howard Kremer]

Just random plywood. And it was like, it's an above shot. So you're just looking down at just like weird plywood planks that like clearly provide the most convenient escape path. But yet the other people, they're like, ah, he's on the pipel board. I can't get them.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Who is the bad guy?

[Danielle Schneider]

I think it's in the end. It's the prep who was a little bit date rapey at some point.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah, he grabs the gun.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

He does that weird thing I've never seen where he's like, come here, let's dance and pour a woman. Dance.

[Danielle Schneider]

Last dance of Mary Jane type of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's like you're in like a Denny's.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yeah. By the way, that restaurant movie got real creepy.

[Scott Aukerman]

That restaurant. She. She says, hey, I know a really great restaurant. Good food, lots of people. Lots of people. Like, I've never heard that be a criteria for a good restaurant.

[Howard Kremer]

Like, how crowded is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. How many people are at this restaurant?

[Howard Kremer]

Don't take me to one of those empty restaurants. I want to socialize and potentially bump into my brother and ex boyfriend.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then they sit down and she looks around and goes, see what I tell you? They haven't eaten yet. She's merely talking about the number of people.

[Howard Kremer]

But did you see? They did have a. They did have a Cincinnati delicacy. Strawberry jelly and peanut butter on a burger.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that a Cincinnati delicious?

[Howard Kremer]

That is a Cincinnati treat that was originated at this restaurant. I think it's. Oh, no, that's strawberry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please, I beg of you, please stop.

[Howard Kremer]

Extortos.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Could you just delete it so that that doesn't happen?

[Howard Kremer]

What just popped up with Seth Green in the shower with the goo on the wall. Oh, man. But I would argue that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, it has I'm too sexy in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

The one recognizable song. There are no recognizable hits other than I'm too.

[Danielle Schneider]

They really wanted it to pop,

[Howard Kremer]

but they have like a good. Like, I wrote down a lyric of one of the songs. When they're having their romantic. I'm gonna pick you up in my personal limousine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Personal limousine.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's a limo driver who's sharing limos out there.

[Danielle Schneider]

I have to say, in the 90s, like, that was a dream.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Ooh.

[Danielle Schneider]

He'll have his personal limousine.

[Howard Kremer]

Personal. Not the public one. Not the. Not the shared limousine. And then the other line in that song was, my love is goody love.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There's a lot of weird.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not bad. It's not bad.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

A running joke in it is also that he calls people brah, and they think he's calling them underwear.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's very similar to bro, put it together.

[Howard Kremer]

He's ahead of his time. He's ahead of his time. I would argue, by the way, too, if we're talking about who the hero of the movie is, it might be Snake, because Snake.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Howard Kremer]

Is the best rollerblader. We know that Snake has no problem in Devil's Backbone, which, by the way,

[Scott Aukerman]

why doesn't he list that in his hobbies? Rollerblading is a pretty big one.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. He never takes out that knife, and I've never seen him tattoo anyone. And he seems very social.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, he's. Yeah, they.

[Howard Kremer]

By the way, Devil's Backbone is not like. Like, you think, oh, that's the back of a mountain. It's all of Cincinnati, the streets, the

[Scott Aukerman]

entirety of the city limits is Devil's Backbone.

[Danielle Schneider]

And makes no sense about the race. The only rules are there are no rules. And I was. So then how do you know who's won?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, she follows that up immediately by saying, first three across the finish line, win.

[Danielle Schneider]

But then. But here is my.

[Howard Kremer]

A rule. Yes, Arguably a rule.

[Scott Aukerman]

A very important one.

[Danielle Schneider]

I also felt that it was just so confusing as to, like, how they know exactly where to go.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, it's. It's Devil's Backbone, But, Well, Mitchell Goosen

[Howard Kremer]

never even heard about it.

[Danielle Schneider]

They've never brought up Devil's Backbone before. I've never heard it throughout the rest of the movie.

[Howard Kremer]

There's no rollerblading races ever established.

[Scott Aukerman]

They. They rollerblade right past a stadium. A stadium that's part of Devil's Backbone.

[Howard Kremer]

Devil's Backbone is from the top of a mountain to a port. Like, it really. It ends at a port by the fucking wall.

[Danielle Schneider]

And they also say, we're gonna settle this thing once and for all.

[Howard Kremer]

What thing? That they always beat them at hockey. We're gonna settle who's better at hockey by having a rollerblade race.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I want to goog. Yeah, go ahead.

[Howard Kremer]

I would argue another rule of the race is once you fall down, you're kind of out Because a lot of people would just be like, boom. And they'd be like, out. Why just get back up? Like, you know, like, they just seem like they take themselves out way too easily.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay, this is going to sound like bad. Who wins the race? Because I was watching and I thought I was engaged. But then the race was over and maybe. I'm sure I drifted. Did the main good guy win?

[Howard Kremer]

Well, Snake came in first.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Snake wins.

[Danielle Schneider]

Which was a shock.

[Howard Kremer]

Was one of three.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's two teams.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

First team to have three people.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Do you know how they have, like, team races? Team races that aren't like relay races?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're not handing off a baton. Everyone's just running. But certain people are on one team.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Howard Kremer]

This is. It's a 15 minute race that none

[Kumail Nanjiani]

of the actors are there for.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no. At one point, Jack Black kind of pretends he's on skates and they're shooting him from waist up. And he kind of goes like this. And then it cuts to the rear view and he's like 6 foot 2 and 175 pounds.

[Howard Kremer]

This, this is. Is just so you can refresh your memory for the great action. This is the highlight reel of the race.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're in a building.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

For some reason.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Parking.

[Howard Kremer]

A parking garage. And a high level of a parking garage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How is the high level of a parking garage part of Devil's backlog?

[Howard Kremer]

And then he only gets airborne by jumping off of buildings, mind you. Like, like it would have been cooler if he did a jump.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like jump a half pipe or something. Oh, you're airborne.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And he kills one of them right there. He murders a kid.

[Howard Kremer]

And I'd argue that no one even saw him go airborne. I know. I'm obsessed with the airborneness of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That there are no eyewitnesses to him being airborne.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No.

[Howard Kremer]

No one was like, oh, do you see him go airborne?

[Scott Aukerman]

That part of the movie is sort of like him telling the story afterwards. Like, yeah, I jumped off a parking garage like three stories. Oh, sure you did. No one sees.

[Howard Kremer]

Which makes me believe that the, the makers or the people who advertise this movie had no idea what it was about. Because here are some of the taglines. And it's the most taglines ever for a movie. Because I feel like I like the movie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Most sports ever for a movie.

[Howard Kremer]

Here it goes. The world's only rock and rollerblade movie. I would, I would. I have a lot of problems with that.

[Scott Aukerman]

No one plays music. The.

[Howard Kremer]

The.

[Scott Aukerman]

The biggest song in it is I'M too sexy. Which is not rock and roll. Not rock and roll.

[Howard Kremer]

Here's the other one. Mitchell just became the most popular guy on Earth once he took to the sky.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He doesn't take to the sky.

[Scott Aukerman]

He does not become popular once he jumps over that car.

[Howard Kremer]

It would have been. Mitchell became the most popular guy on Earth after he gave a wedgie to somebody in a hockey game.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That sounds like. What is the tagline again? Read it.

[Howard Kremer]

Mitchell became the most popular guy on Earth once he took to the sky.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That sounds like it's a prime. It's a movie where the kid becomes an astronaut. That is truly what I.

[Scott Aukerman]

And a nerdy kid. A nerdy kid. A nerdy kid, like, goes to space camp. He's a nerd even amongst those nerds. Right. But then he's the one who takes the rocket up. He becomes popular.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

The premise of this, starring you and me. Yeah. What do you say?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm the super nerdy kid.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I'm the bully.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're the preppy kid. And the premise of this movie is that the coolest kid in California moves to Ohio and then becomes the coolest kid in Ohio.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, get ready. There's four more log lines. To err isn't human. It's necessary.

[Danielle Schneider]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

2 Air is inhuman.

[Howard Kremer]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Oh, okay. And is a I Air like 2 Air isn't human. It's necessary. It's necessary that he jumps over that car.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But like you said, he doesn't all. He doesn't err. Cause it wasn't necessary.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Howard Kremer]

Okay. Here's another one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Tough stuff.

[Howard Kremer]

There are two kinds of people. Those who get airborne and those who don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

He is part of the former.

[Danielle Schneider]

I also have to say, if they had called this movie something different, they should have called this movie something different. It could have just been called Land and Sea.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because there is a surf and turf.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Howard Kremer]

Surfing. Turf.

[Danielle Schneider]

Serpenter. Like. Yes. There's no air. Like. Because I feel like they got really. Like, they. They put themselves in a corner with the airborne of it. And so there's only one moment where he gets airborne and they're really hanging the whole movie.

[Howard Kremer]

And by the way, it feels like. Like. Like the writer almost forgot. Oh, shit. I called this movie Airborne. He jumps off a building. Oh, good. I got it in on the last page.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Cause he surfs water. He rollerblades ground. The one thing he doesn't take to is the air. That's the only, like, element.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about fire?

[Howard Kremer]

Here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's the logo that's true.

[Howard Kremer]

Here is another one that's kind of great. Heroes aren't made.

[Scott Aukerman]

They err.

[Howard Kremer]

They're airborne.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. Meaning born of air.

[Howard Kremer]

That one isn't. Yeah, that. And then the final one is.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Give us the first half and we'll try and guess it.

[Howard Kremer]

This one is. Okay. Mitchell's life was a California dream.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cincinnati nightmare.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Now it's a Cincinnati nightmare.

[Danielle Schneider]

I assume it's gonna be something about being airborne.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How about it? Let's find it. Let's find.

[Howard Kremer]

Mitchell's life was a California dream that

[Danielle Schneider]

melted into thin air.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Born like that. Very good. Super soft.

[Danielle Schneider]

Thank you. I'm gonna.

[Howard Kremer]

Any other guesses? Nah, I'll tell you, you'll be disappointed. Mitchell's life was a California dream. Dot, dot, dot. Oh, absolutely. Until he woke up in Cincinnati.

[Danielle Schneider]

What?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He didn't just wake up in Cincinnati.

[Howard Kremer]

He got on a plane, he was sent there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Presumably he did wake up in Cincinnati.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes, but he like. It wasn't like he's in California dreaming and then he goes to sleep. When he wakes up, he's in Cincinnati.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, we didn't see the plane sequence, so maybe he was sleeping on the plane.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But he gets off a plane.

[Scott Aukerman]

But he might have been sleeping on

[Howard Kremer]

the plane, by the way, just to note the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's not a big part.

[Danielle Schneider]

Honestly though, I felt like that that was the most accurate of all of them.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That was the only time he was airborne was when he was on the plane.

[Scott Aukerman]

His surfboard was airborne. He was airborne.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, the stick is airborne. He's airborne.

[Howard Kremer]

We're going to come to the audience here in a second. I just want to say one other thing. So this movie has a story by credit. So someone pitched this idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

This. By the way, this movie was originally not called Airborne. No, you know this. Whoever wrote the original script and then

[Howard Kremer]

it was written and then this guy also gets credit for story by. That's his only credit. That's Mr. Cauley. But the guy who just came up with the story now is Mel Gibson's main producer.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I have so many questions.

[Howard Kremer]

Let's go into.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did he produce Hacksaw Ridge?

[Howard Kremer]

I don't know about that. I should check that out.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did he produce Braveheart? Paul, where are you going?

[Howard Kremer]

Paul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Paul, we have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul, we need info. Paul.

[Howard Kremer]

All right, let's call the audience here. All right, sir, I'm going to go to you right now. Sir, come over here. Obviously we've talked about surf and turf as being the perfect title. Is there another title that you can come up with for this film. Or is there a better character name for Mitchell Goosen? I know I'm putting you on the spot. Cincinnati Snowboarding doesn't exist. All right. Cincinnati Snowboarding. I'll say. Doesn't exist.

[Danielle Schneider]

Honestly.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, Longer title than we would normally have.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But why doesn't he do snowboarding? He's snowboarding.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. The only time you see snow is

[Howard Kremer]

on the tarmac and it disappears rather quickly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Howard Kremer]

Okay, talk to me about your question. What's your question? So he gets the rollerblades late, right. And his mom or his parents send it. So his parents found his rollerblades, took it to Australia and then mailed it to him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I think. I think I know what happened here.

[Howard Kremer]

This dumb kid forgot his rollerblades.

[Scott Aukerman]

He paid a neighbor to break into his house, rummaged through his stuff, and then the neighbor accidentally sent the blades to Australia where a kangaroo put them on. Which this. All of that would make a better movie than this.

[Howard Kremer]

I have a theory. The parents were never going to Australia.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you doing over there, Paul?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Are you on rollerblades?

[Howard Kremer]

I just bladed through this whole back.

[Scott Aukerman]

The parents were never going to Australians.

[Danielle Schneider]

Did anyone notice in that first parent scene how they were sitting uncomfortably close

[Scott Aukerman]

like they were about to fuck? They had just fucked. He had two fingers in her. I don't know exactly. Exactly what?

[Danielle Schneider]

Exactly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Those parents were creepy.

[Howard Kremer]

Okay, your title or better character name and your question.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

My name for the movie. Life is a wave.

[Howard Kremer]

Love it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Life is a wave. What do you mean? Like he takes the wave from California all the way. Like wherever he goes, you know, Sometimes

[Howard Kremer]

it breaks for you, sometimes it breaks against you. Sometimes you get a sweet ride. Sometimes you get fucking laid on your ass. Lights. The wave, bro. Yeah, but you gotta ride it. Because if you don't ride it, I guess you won't do it, bro.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Life is a wave.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And my question is there is a serious lack of like adult responsibility in this movie. There are very, very few adults taking responsibility for any of these kids actions. They were rollerblading through the streets for a long time time no cops. Stop them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where are the police?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, it's not like Cincinnati has a ton of shit going on where they don't notice. This would be like evening news. Yeah. And the. And the only, the only adult you kind of see in the movie is the teacher in the beginning.

[Danielle Schneider]

And.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he wrote himself into it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right, right. And he lets the kids do whatever they want. They're like fighting in front of the class and he's just like, next person. Keep going. We need to get through these speeches.

[Scott Aukerman]

At one point, Edie McClurg almost calls the cops on the lead guy because he's sleeping.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. And she's afraid he's dead.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, yeah, she. Cut. By the way, I have to say, those are my two favorite characters in the entire movie. Edie McClurg from Ferris Bueller, and then her husband, who I feel like has been in everything. But when I looked at his IMDb, nothing felt familiar to me. They were hilarious. And I also felt like they improvised everything.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She has, like, a legitimately great line when they're, like, driving first, they pick them up from the airport, and she's pointing out stuff, and she goes, there's the hole where the sausage factory used to be. I was like, this is gonna be a good movie.

[Howard Kremer]

I also like that they talk about hockey. Thank you very much for your question. They talk about hockey, and then they go like, let's get. Let's. You feeling frisky? And he's like, yeah, I'll get out the twister. And I don't know what it was that they were getting turned on or something. Let me see back here. All right. Yes, you, back here. Your name of your movie, your character name, whatever you want. And your question.

[Danielle Schneider]

I'd say Stylin.

[Howard Kremer]

That's a good movie. Yeah, it's a good title.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Stylin is way better.

[Danielle Schneider]

We've touched on it. But one of the most important plot points is that the boy is pan and that Jack Black says, funny. And everyone has the biggest reaction to this pantsing ever.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, I don't know if that was a question we got. So you just think that, like. So that moment, the reaction is larger than what it should have been.

[Danielle Schneider]

Jack Black's reaction is insane. Insane.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like he didn't know that men have butts.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, it's as if. If. As if this.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He can't see his own butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's behind him, of course.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And he's never been.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's gone through his entire life never seeing a butt.

[Howard Kremer]

Wait a second, guys. I just realized something. This is what Mitchell Goosen brings to Cincinnati. Pantsing. He doesn't bring.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not call this movie Pants?

[Danielle Schneider]

They're like, it's so cold in Cincinnati. No one's ever shown a butt before.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, heroes aren't born. They're pants.

[Danielle Schneider]

In la, that's what you do. It's. It's warm enough here to show off your ass and humiliate people. And so that's what he brings and he was wearing.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah, that was an awkward. I feel uncomfortable watching scenes of young

[Scott Aukerman]

people because you're trying to move your boner out of the way.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. Then I wrestle with it. Then things get better.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And the main kid is shirtless in this movie. A lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot.

[Howard Kremer]

Does anybody have a really great one that I. That they feel like, oh, I gotta bring this. This one up here. All right, your name. Sell it with confidence, and we'll see. All right, here we go. Here we go.

[Danielle Schneider]

Okay, so the title would be Not

[Howard Kremer]

Airborne or Sorry, Not Air Bud. Sorry. You guys cheated. Shared your title before. Yeah, not Air Bud. So he's in the hockey game.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He gets knocked out.

[Howard Kremer]

He's unconscious for like, half a day.

[Danielle Schneider]

No one calls the ambulance. And then the guy gets.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's it called?

[Danielle Schneider]

Chocolate Stained Blade.

[Howard Kremer]

He gets knocked over into the water, and he disappears. And no one seems to care either.

[Danielle Schneider]

So I'm just saying no one seems

[Howard Kremer]

to care about other people.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is true. No one calls an ambulance. And they move him, too. They move him to a second location, which is fairly dangerous as well.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There is a disturbing lack of empathy in this movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are no parental figures. When he wakes up.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, he has a concussion. He has brain damage.

[Howard Kremer]

Jason's not here. So I have to say what Jason would say. The movie officially ends when he gets knocked out at the hockey rink. And the rest of the thing is a Jacob's Ladder scenario. It's all a dream. It's all a fantasy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's the only way it makes sense.

[Howard Kremer]

He died in that first hockey game.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How did you find this movie?

[Howard Kremer]

I found this movie, as many people do on Twitter and on working through

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Seth Green's entire catalog.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes. Can't Hardly Wait. You and I saw Can't Hardly Wait in the theater together.

[Danielle Schneider]

You sure did. I brought in half a chicken,

[Howard Kremer]

but

[Scott Aukerman]

what happened to the other half?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What are you talking about?

[Danielle Schneider]

I can't eat an entire chicken in a movie.

[Howard Kremer]

It was. This is one of the movies that was very highly recommended over the years, and I had been saving it for a while to. For a special occasion.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, my question's about the chicken.

[Danielle Schneider]

Happy to answer any and all what

[Howard Kremer]

it was in New York.

[Danielle Schneider]

I was hungry. It was in New York, and there was, like, a Boston Market next to the theater. And I was like, I'm hungry.

[Scott Aukerman]

New York has the best Boston Market.

[Danielle Schneider]

They really do. It's my favorite.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Outside of Boston.

[Danielle Schneider]

No, I would say better than the Boston Boston Market. And so I was hungry, and I needed more of a meal than A snack. And so I.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Let's get half a chicken.

[Howard Kremer]

I did not eat a chicken in that movie.

[Danielle Schneider]

At half a chicken. I have a clear memory.

[Howard Kremer]

I respected the theater and the space and can't hardly wait. All the hard people who worked on the crew, everybody, obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Second opinion.

[Howard Kremer]

Second opinions. Second opinions. Second opinions. Second opinions. Second opinions. Second opinions. Aha. Amazing. Give it up. What's your name, sir?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's your name?

[Howard Kremer]

Tim. Give it up for Tim.

[Scott Aukerman]

What an honor.

[Howard Kremer]

We always say to the audience before the show, if you want to make something up in the moment, please do. And that person did. So that was great and great job to the audience for catching along. These are five star reviews culled from Amazon. And boy, there are some good ones. Okay, here we go. This is from Nurse Mommy. Rn. Uh, oh,

[Kumail Nanjiani]

and is she an rn or is she like nurse mommy right now?

[Scott Aukerman]

Nurse Mommy right now.

[Howard Kremer]

And she writes, this was taped at my grade school, oh so long ago. And I got to be an extra in it. So it was a rental to reminisce. Heart.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She didn't even buy it. You're in this movie.

[Howard Kremer]

A rental to reminisce.

[Danielle Schneider]

Like, I don't think you can be in the movie and have, you know, an opinion. That's fair. I think once you're in it, you're in it.

[Howard Kremer]

Fucking five stars. She gave herself five stars.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I feel like she came up with the phrase a rental to reminisce and then backed into writing the review.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also, R and N are both in reminisce.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She's big into RNN and in rental.

[Howard Kremer]

I will say a lot of these reviews were written recently. That's the thing that's actually most interesting about these reviews. This one was written in 2016 in June by Manofwood. Great movie. Better than the crap they made today. 5 stars.

[Scott Aukerman]

The crap that they made that day. What movie did they make that day?

[Danielle Schneider]

Maybe he made better than the crap he made today. Like the actual piece of shit that came out of his ass.

[Howard Kremer]

Do not know.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Need to put the shit back in.

[Howard Kremer]

And then this one is odd. I'll read it and we can discuss why I think it's odd. This is by Pamela S. Ryan, written in 2014.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's putting your middle initial in there.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

2014, hot off the 20 year anniversary.

[Howard Kremer]

The title is perfect and the review is simply this wonderful movie to take my adult son back in time. Her adult.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I think that's the mom of the actor.

[Howard Kremer]

Remember when you were in this

[Danielle Schneider]

adult

[Howard Kremer]

son back in time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi, son. Can you get a babysitter? Come on over to the house. I want to take you back in time.

[Howard Kremer]

Because if he, like, say, if he's. Even if he's 20 now, if that's an adult son, then he was 10 when this movie came out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Huh.

[Howard Kremer]

So if, you know, he was.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

If he was more than 20 years old, he would have not been born.

[Howard Kremer]

Oh, right, right. Okay.

[Paul Shearer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She makes a guy like in his 30s or 40s watch this movie. Pamela S. Ryan is a monster. I really do think that that's the kid's mom. Cause she gets to see her now adult son, the beautiful child he once was.

[Howard Kremer]

I think. You know what? I think you may be right. Buckle up, people. This is. It's a long E, but it's worth it by Jordan Lawrence. Title. Who compares this movie to Harry Potter?

[Danielle Schneider]

No one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No one.

[Howard Kremer]

I just want to start off by saying that I felt compelled to write a review about this movie after reading about some guy who thought this movie was awful and lacked substance and was not creative. This person, who I can only imagine plays Dungeons and Dragons and has a collection of Beanie Babies, goes on to say, there are plenty of movies of this sort that are filled to the brim with creativity. The Harry Potter series.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That was one sentence, by the way.

[Howard Kremer]

Really? You're comparing this movie to Harry Potter? I'd like to know what planet this guy is coming from, considering the two movies are nothing alike, not to mention the fact they were written by in two different decades. First of all, let me say this. This movie is awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

First of all,

[Howard Kremer]

if you were around in the 90s, which apparently this guy was not, no wonder you don't think this movie was any good. You watch movies like Harry Potter, dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who is he having an argument with?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Some guy who collects beanie babies.

[Howard Kremer]

I grew up watching this movie. It's funny, it's entertaining. It's great to see guys like Seth Green and Jack Black before they were somebodies. Of course, it doesn't have the greatest plot in the world. It was written for teenagers in the 90s. It was totally exciting to watch growing up and brings back great memories today. Even if you didn't watch this growing up, let your kids watch it. They'll love it. I personally love it because it reminds me of the days I used to race around on my rollerblade by the

[Kumail Nanjiani]

way, this 100% is a suicide note.

[Howard Kremer]

I used to race around on my rollerblades, hang out on the beaches of California and engage in some good old fashioned competition. I've been checking on Amazon for the last year to see when or if this movie would ever make it to DVD and it finally has. I would pay $30 for this movie if I had to. If you want to be reminded of simpler, better days, which we'll probably never see again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh boy.

[Howard Kremer]

With good entertainment value, watch Airborne. If all you care about are special effects casting spells and nerdy kids flying around.

[Danielle Schneider]

What does he have against Harry Potter?

[Howard Kremer]

Go watch Harry Potter and leave the good stuff for those of us who are nostalgic and like entertainment. Five motherfucking stars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You could call Harry Potter deserves the title Airborne more. They actually fly on brooms. They play Quidditch. That's an airborne sport.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if Harry Potter was called hockey? They just swapped titles.

[Danielle Schneider]

I have to say, that review turned me on Harry Potter.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You see his point?

[Danielle Schneider]

I'm done. Fuck that shit.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, you'll all be pleased to know that Blake Harris has tracked down one of the lead actors of this film and will be conducting a very big interview with him coming up. So we'll get that on. Can we say we could if I remember the name of the guy. It's not Jack Black or Seth Green. Yeah, so it may be like the lead bully.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You probably could get Seth Green or Jack Black.

[Howard Kremer]

I'm sure we could.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They're both color names, but I feel like the better.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that all it takes to make it?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You need a color name.

[Howard Kremer]

Would you recommend our audience watching this movie? Sometimes we say you don't need to watch it. Sometimes we say, yeah, you should definitely watch it. I'll start off and say, yeah, I think you should definitely watch this movie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think you're insane.

[Danielle Schneider]

Not.

[Howard Kremer]

Not for like. Not like I'm saying, like, this is like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I cannot think of a single reason for people to watch this. There are so many movies in the world.

[Howard Kremer]

Knowing that I pushed watching moonlight off to watch made me feel bad.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did you watch Moonlight?

[Howard Kremer]

Not yet. Because I watched this.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if you died right now?

[Howard Kremer]

Maybe I'd be a little bit happier that I saw Surf and Turf before I went.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Wow. They're very similar in many ways.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are two guys hanging out by the ocean.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There are.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's kind of vaguely homoerotic.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, moonlight is vaguely homoerotic.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm talking about Airborne.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, it is. I guess when he rubs this.

[Howard Kremer]

No spoilers it sort of.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like, hey, there's something going on with those guys.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know if I'm reading too much into this movie, but when he rubs his fingers in the sand, I feel like something happened.

[Howard Kremer]

Scott, yay or nay?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's well directed. I mean, the shots are really, really good.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sure.

[Howard Kremer]

So you watch it for the directing.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you're a fan of film.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah,

[Kumail Nanjiani]

the director is a good director.

[Scott Aukerman]

The director's a good director. The actors, not to a man, certainly are good actors. No, don't watch this.

[Danielle Schneider]

All right, Danielle, I'm gonna say watch it.

[Howard Kremer]

Nice.

[Danielle Schneider]

I'm saying you have to really get

[Howard Kremer]

the two people who saw Can't Hardly Wait. I'm highly recommending this movie in the theater.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bring half a chicken.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Settle in, make a day of it.

[Danielle Schneider]

Get some chicken.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tune out during the sea couch. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Go into a food coma during the dream sequence.

[Danielle Schneider]

Lie back, watch a child sort of, like, turn into a man.

[Scott Aukerman]

All over his body.

[Danielle Schneider]

Yes. No, I felt like. I feel like in order to understand the movie, in order to, like, see how disparate the four different movies inside the movie are, in order to really get that, I think you should watch it. And I also feel like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, watch it. What else is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

It is a good point. It's like you leave the movie and it's like you've watched four movies.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. Moonlight. You probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a time saver.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah. Like, moonlight was, like, one movie, right?

[Danielle Schneider]

Moonlight.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Moonlight's only one movie.

[Howard Kremer]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Although it's kind of three movies. It actually is kind of three movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is kind of like three movies.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's kind of three movies. So it's one less movie than this one.

[Howard Kremer]

Let's talk about what we want to talk about. Danielle, what do you want to plug?

[Danielle Schneider]

What do I unplug? Bitch Sesh.

[Howard Kremer]

Yes.

[Danielle Schneider]

Thank you. We have a podcast. We're also doing a Show Wednesday the 25th at Largo. And then also just listen to Bitch Sesh on your podcast. Great.

[Howard Kremer]

Thanks, Scott. What do you got?

[Scott Aukerman]

I co directed with Akiva Shaffer of the Lonely Island a variety special for Netflix called Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day special.

[Howard Kremer]

And that's February 7th.

[Scott Aukerman]

February 7th, it comes out, and it has Maya Rudolph and Sarah Silverman and Fred Armisen and Will Forte and Andy Samberg and Eric Andre and a bunch of great people, and it's very funny.

[Howard Kremer]

I can't wait. That sounds awesome. Kamel, you. At this point, to our listeners have been to Sundance. You've been back with your movie there. How was it? He has not gone to Sundance by the time you were nervous. No. What do we have?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Silicon Valley. You can watch it on itunes or HBO Go and it comes out. The new season comes out in April and then. Yeah, our the movie, the Big Sick. It'll come out at some point, so look for that.

[Paul Shearer]

Awesome.

[Howard Kremer]

I love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

At the point of people listening to this, you've sold it for $20 million.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, no. What are you doing? The last movie that sold for that much was was Birth of a Nation. Yep.

[Howard Kremer]

What's gonna come out about you, huh? What did you do?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'll tell you.

[Howard Kremer]

What did you do?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't want to do it. I don't want to riff on this.

[Scott Aukerman]

That could be the thing that turns this into a Birth of a Nation situation.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, pass.

[Howard Kremer]

Well, a big thank you to Avril Halley who pulls all of our clips here and then puts them all together each week. She has a great show called movie bitches on YouTube. July Diaz up in the booth. Nate Kiley does all of her research. Marissa Zeitz, who pulls us all together. Leanna Waldron, everybody here at Largo, everybody here at Earwolf. Thank you all for coming. Good night. Looking to scale your outcomes beyond search and social?

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