How Did This Get Made? — "Chopping Mall" LIVE! w/ Mary Holland (HDTGM Matinee, Largo)

Podcast: How Did This Get Made?
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guest: Mary Holland
Release Date: October 28, 2025
Film Discussed: Chopping Mall (1986)

Episode Overview

In this riotous live episode, Paul, June, Jason, and comedic guest Mary Holland gather at Largo in LA to eviscerate "Chopping Mall," the bonkers 1986 cult horror-comedy where malfunctioning security robots terrorize horny not-exactly-teenagers after hours in a shopping mall. The panel dives deeply into the movie's absurd plot, 80s excess, inconsistent logic, and, of course, its vibrant tapestry of questionable acting choices and glorious low-budget mayhem.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What's "Chopping Mall" All About?

• Movie premise: Three malfunctioning mall security robots—meant as "protectors"—begin systematically murdering a group of mall employees (clearly played by adults), who stick around after hours for an ill-advised sex party in the furniture store.
• Poster confusion: The panel notes how the movie’s poster promises way more gore than delivered, misleading viewers into expecting a slasher rather than "RoboCop in a mall, but if RoboCop was a Roomba hooked on murder" ([06:14], Jason).

2. The Not-So-Teenage "Teens"

• Discussion: The supposed "teens" are all middle-aged—and, in June and Mary’s opinion, blatantly not teens.
  • "They are not teenagers so that they can fuck. So that they can be nude and fuck. They are not teenagers" ([09:03], Jason).
• Wildly impractical business and financial decisions, as dissected by June: why are some of the couples married, seemingly running auto repair shops, and still hanging at what is essentially a mall orgy?

3. The Absurdity of the Mall and its Security

• Mall as setting: The delight in the unique, oddly luxurious mall—House of Almonds, Her Scent, and stores selling dynamite.
• Why install killer robots for crime that's never established? "It’s a problem that is not a problem that they've created an insane solution to" ([12:39], Paul).
• "This mall also has a store that sells dynamite" ([10:35], June).
• Comparison to "RoboCop", "Short Circuit", and "Red Dawn," but with less logic, more boobs, and way dumber robots.

4. The Killer Robots (a.k.a. "Protectors")

• Goofy but deadly: The robots are slow-moving, loud, plastic-pincered, but weirdly equipped with C4 and laser eyes.
  • "They are like robots you would see in The Hurt Locker... to protect House of Almonds" ([17:03], Jason).
• Malfunctioning due to lightning à la Frankenstein—three dramatic strikes in 30 seconds ([18:38], Paul & Jason).
• Oddly social: "The robots are continuously looking to each other to check in... like they're having weird relationships with each other" ([17:56], Jason).
• Programmed to say, "Have a nice day" after murder.

5. The People of "Chopping Mall": Disgusting?

• Each character is lampooned as gross or questionable:
  • The chef: "smoking, wipes a spatula on himself, continues to make food" ([22:15], Paul).
  • Janitor bullies bullying other janitors ([25:23], Jason).
  • The patrons: "Could I eat a stick of butter?" and general despair ([23:31], June).

6. Furniture Store Fucksesh / Orgy Scene (27:02–34:00)

• The infamous after-hours furniture store group sex scene gets torn to shreds.
  • "I literally felt like I got an STD by watching this movie" ([27:07], Paul).
  • Why do grown adults, including a married couple, have sex in a mall, in front of each other, on display beds? "Even in their 20s. I find this really strange" ([29:53], June).
• Memorable moments:
  • Pepperoni girl’s bluesy singing post-sexual encounter ([31:24], Jason & Mary)—"As long as you pull your tits out you can do whatever you want" ([33:24], Jason-as-director).

7. Logic Defying Plot Holes

• Vents and weapon shops:
  • Giant air vents "should not fit two people shoulder to shoulder" ([39:48], Paul).
  • Guns and ammo sold openly off a discount rack—"It's like where they put M&M's, except it's a shotgun!" ([40:47], Jason).
• Survival tactics: Repeated frustration that characters could simply have hidden instead of seeking out the robots:
  • "All they needed to do was hide until morning, which they easily could've done" ([42:00], Jason).

8. Unintentional Hilarity and Notable Quotes

• Favorite dumb lines:
  • "I guess I'm just not used to being chased around a mall in the middle of the night by killer robots" ([50:16], Mary as character).
  • "How many tune-ups is that?" ([52:07], Jason mocks the business subplot).
• Physical comedy and 80s trope satire:
  • Mall montage with ridiculous dads fighting for arcade machines, guys ogling women on escalators like cartoon wolves ([56:12–56:57], Paul & Jason).

9. Robot Motivation & Possessed Machines?

• Are the robots evil or just misunderstood?
  • June: "They don’t feel evil to me... They felt like spoiled brats, you know" ([65:22], June).

10. Opening the Floor: Audience Questions & Alternate Titles

• Audience suggested alternate titles: "Killbots," "Laserbots," "Furniture Store Fuck Sesh Interrupted," "Chop 'Til You Drop," and "Mall of Killmerica" ([61:18–66:14]).
• Fun discussion of other Roger Corman film universe cameos (Eating Raoul, Streetwalkin’), and the tradition of TV airings needing to add footage to hit 90 minutes ([68:02], June).

11. Second Opinions (Amazon Reviews Set to Song)

• Hilarious audience renditions of "second opinions," highlighting just how much some reviewers love killer robots, skin, and gore, and how the movie offers "first class entertainment… different and surprisingly marvelous to watch…" ([73:02], Paul reads Amazon review).

Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On 80s movie nudity:
  • "It's amazing to see that much nudity in a movie because I feel like that's been almost erased or it's done tastefully now. This movie... it's gratuitous. It's to a point where you feel uncomfortable." ([04:10], Paul)
• On the robots:
  • "They are like robots you would see in The Hurt Locker... and it's like, oh, we need those at the mall to protect House of Almonds." ([17:03], Jason)
• On the main cast's age:
  • "They are not teenagers so that they can fuck. So that they can be nude and fuck. They are not teenagers." ([09:03], Jason)
• On business logic:
  • "According to my calculations, provided we survive the night, of course, we're gonna be in hock to this place for the next 85 years." ([51:50], June, mocking the "autoshop" subplot)
• On the orgy scene:
  • "I literally felt like I got an STD by watching this movie." ([27:07], Paul)
• On survival strategy:
  • "All they needed to do was hide until morning, which they easily could've done." ([42:00], Jason)
• On catchphrases:
  • "When our lead actress kills the robot, like, gets them all dead at the end, she says, 'have a nice day.' And to me, I'm like, wouldn't you want to subvert it? ...It's so anticlimactic." ([58:06], Paul)
• On the robots' personality:
  • "The robots are continuously looking to each other to check in…like they're having weird relationships with each other" ([17:56], Jason)
• On audience favorite alternate title:
  • "Furniture Store Fuck Sesh Interrupted." ([63:10], Audience member Brie)
• On cult-movie love:
  • "Favorite scene was when the girl gets her head blown off by the laser beam. Love it." ([74:20], Paul reads review)

Notable Audience and Meta Moments

• Audience engagement shines:
  • Suggestions for alternate titles are creative and bawdy (“Furniture Store Fuck Sesh Interrupted”), and the crowd relishes the opportunity to delve into Roger Corman trivia.
• Song parodies:
  • Two audience members deliver live "second opinions" songs, to great applause ([71:13], Paul).
• Panel interplay:
  • Constant ribbing about who would survive in a killer-robot mall, how to spot a “dad bod,” and exactly why grown adults would have group sex in a public showroom (“Finally, June and Jason agree: just leave those tops off during the robot rampage!” [50:08]).

Timestamps of Essential Segments

• [06:17] – Poster & Plot Setup, Questionable Mall Logic
• [17:56] – Robot’s Odd Social Dynamics
• [27:02–34:00] – Deep Dive: The Infamous Furniture Store Sex Scene
• [39:01–40:59] – Lack of Security, Weapon Convenience, and Dumb Survival Choices
• [46:53] – Susie's Fiery Death ("They stare their friend down, like watch her burn.")
• [50:16] – Dumbest Line of Movie: “I guess I’m just not used to…”
• [61:18–66:14] – Audience Alternate Titles, Shared Universes
• [71:13] – Second Opinions (Live “Amazon Review” Songs)

Conclusion

The crew and crowd gleefully tear apart "Chopping Mall" for its ridiculous robots, inexplicable plot, unsexy sex scenes, accidental comedy, and all its delightful 80s cheese. This live HDTGM episode is a treat for fans of so-bad-they’re-good cinema and showcases the hosts’ razor wit, improv, and deep love for the absurd. Even if the film leaves you feeling "like you caught something just by watching," the laughter here is contagious and the deconstruction, thorough — you don’t need to watch "Chopping Mall" to experience its insanity thanks to this episode.