Cobra LIVE! w/ Brian Posehn & Rhett Miller (HDTGM Matinee)

Summary

Podcast Title: How Did This Get Made?
Episode: Cobra LIVE! w/ Brian Posehn & Rhett Miller (HDTGM Matinee)
Release Date: July 29, 2025
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guests: Brian Posehn, Rhett Miller

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Introduction

In the July 29, 2025 episode of "How Did This Get Made?" titled "Cobra LIVE! w/ Brian Posehn & Rhett Miller (HDTGM Matinee)," hosts Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas delve deep into the convoluted action film Cobra. Joined by special guests Brian Posehn and Rhett Miller, the panel dissects every aspect of this 1986 Sylvester Stallone movie, celebrating its eccentricities and outright failures with their signature comedic flair.

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First Impressions and Plot Overview

[02:42] June Diane Raphael:
“There we go.”

[02:43] Paul Scheer:
“All right, here we are, Cobra. All right. Man. I haven't seen this movie since I was a kid and I forgot it.”

The panel begins by acknowledging their initial unfamiliarity with the film, setting the stage for an in-depth exploration. Paul Scheer characterizes Cobra as a hyper-violent, robot-infused take on the classic Dirty Harry formula.

[02:55] Paul Scheer:
“I felt like today watching it, I was like, this is really just a ripoff of Dirty Harry in many respects. Right? I mean, because it's like he's chasing like a killer, a serial killer, but he's just way more badass.”

Character Analysis

The Protagonist – Marion Cobretti

Jason Mantzoukas points out the over-the-top nature of Marion Cobretti's (Stallone) character, emphasizing his extreme toughness and questionable tactics.

[03:22] June Diane Raphael:
“And it's Dirty Harry without the wit.”

[04:05] Ira Madison III:
“Cobra has an eating disorder in this movie because he cuts that pizza was nuts, right?”

The gang humorously critiques Cobretti's obsessive and bizarre habits, such as his unusual approach to eating pizza and his fixation on healthy food, which adds layers of absurdity to his character.

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Dialogue and Script Quality

[12:58] June Diane Raphael:
“Yep. Well, also, doesn’t the dialogue feel like it was written by five different people? Yes, it was like that game where you write a line, then I'll write a line, then... Cause it doesn’t fucking connect.”

The hosts and guests lambast the movie’s inconsistent and nonsensical dialogue, highlighting moments where lines abruptly change tone or lack coherence, undermining any attempted character development or plot progression.

[13:10] Jason Mantzoukas:
“It’s almost as if they were like, well, we need a one-liner here. Everybody write a one-liner. And then it was like, ooh, I love all of these.”

This segment underscores the haphazard nature of the scriptwriting process, suggesting that hasty, disjointed lines were thrown together without a unified vision.

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Production Choices and Visuals

[29:25] June Diane Raphael:
"The police station also. They go from a scene that starts in the morgue, they walk out into a police station, and then he walks into a shooting range 10ft away from."

Discussion shifts to the movie's impractical production choices, such as setting multiple pivotal scenes within an unrealistically small area, leading to a disorienting and cramped viewing experience.

[32:01] Ira Madison III:
“I think it was so modeled after that George Michael 'Faith' video.”

Comparisons to other media highlight the film's attempts to infuse popular culture elements, albeit unsuccessfully, resulting in a jumbled aesthetic that confuses rather than captivates the audience.

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Iconic Scenes and Moments

Supermarket Attack Sequence

[10:14] Paul Scheer:
“And then one time, he shoots at a shopping cart and it explodes like there was C4 in it.”

The panel examines the infamous supermarket scene, critiquing its excessive violence and lack of plausibility. They humorously note the unnecessary complexity introduced by weapons like C4, which defy the movie's otherwise straightforward action trope.

Ride-Along with the Zombie Squad

[08:03] Jason Mantzoukas:
“He's doing legitimate police work. Absolutely. Where the rest of the police department is acting like dildos.”

The discussion highlights the illogical portrayal of the police force, where only Cobretti is competent while his peers are inept, leading to a skewed and unrealistic depiction of law enforcement dynamics.

[14:16] Ira Madison III:
“It’s a music video.”

A humorous take on the portrayal of the Zombie Squad, comparing their coordinated yet ineffective actions to a poorly executed music video rather than a menacing crime syndicate.

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Directorial and Thematic Choices

[23:19] Paul Scheer:
“They shut down the whole thing and the robot is left. Oh, I do want to bring up one interesting point. The actual, I guess movie of Cobra is based on a book. And the book's Author. After Sylvester Stallone wrote this film, which he did write, he asked the author to take his name off the book and re-release the book with his name as the author of the book.”

The hosts explore the controversial decision behind the film’s screenplay, criticizing Stallone's apparent disregard for the original author's credit, which reflects a broader theme of ego overriding collaborative integrity.

Cinematography and Pacing

[32:25] Paul Scheer:
“One of the things that I think is so interesting in this movie is every chase sequence traverses so much space. Like, they started chasing downtown. That ends in Venice. And it only happens in, like, five minutes.”

They discuss the illogical geographical transitions within chase scenes, making the film’s pacing feel rushed and incoherent, akin to merging disparate locations without narrative justification.

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Reception and Legacy

[50:00] Ira Madison III:
“If this is not the best movie that Stallone has made, then I don't know what is.”

Highlighting the polarized reception, the panel humorously refers to fictitious positive reviews that contradict the movie's evident flaws, mocking the phenomenon of overly enthusiastic fan feedback.

Box Office Performance

[43:22] Jason Mantzoukas:
“We heard 11 million. We heard 30 million. So 42, Paul. 160 million. So it was a big hit.”

The hosts playfully discuss exaggerated box office numbers, poking fun at the unrealistic financial success attributed to the movie despite its critical shortcomings.

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Humor and Fan Interaction

[53:35] Paul Scheer:
“Of? There's a Philadelphia Phillies baseball player.”

Humorous interactions continue as the panel quips about obscure and irrelevant details, maintaining an engaging and light-hearted tone throughout the analysis.

[55:25] Jason Mantzoukas:
“It’s amazing.”

The episode wraps up with exaggerated endorsements and playful mock-seriousness, encouraging listeners to "embrace" the movie's flaws and enjoy the comedic dissection provided by the panel.

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Conclusion

The "Cobra LIVE! w/ Brian Posehn & Rhett Miller" episode of How Did This Get Made? serves as a thorough and entertaining critique of a film that epitomizes cinematic missteps. Through sharp wit, humorous observations, and a detailed breakdown of plot inconsistencies, character flaws, and production errors, the hosts and guests provide both laughter and insight into why Cobra stands as a cult classic for all the wrong reasons. Whether you're a fan of action flicks or just in for some comedic banter, this episode encapsulates the essence of celebrating the "best of the worst" in cinema.

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Notable Quotes:

• Paul Scheer [02:55]:
  “This is really just a ripoff of Dirty Harry… but he's just way more badass.”

• June Diane Raphael [03:22]:
  “And it's Dirty Harry without the wit.”

• June Diane Raphael [12:58]:
  “Doesn’t the dialogue feel like it was written by five different people?”

• Jason Mantzoukas [13:10]:
  “Everybody write a one-liner. And then it was like, ooh, I love all of these.”

• Ira Madison III [50:19]:
  “Feel the heat. If this is not the best movie that Stallone has made, then I don't know what is.”

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Timestamps Reference:

• The timestamps correspond to key moments in the provided transcript, highlighting significant discussions and humorous exchanges relevant to the analysis of Cobra.

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Note: This summary intentionally omits commercial breaks, advertisements, and unrelated segments to maintain focus on the substantive content of the podcast episode.

Transcript

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[Jason Mantzoukas]

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[Paul Scheer]

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[Paul Scheer]

Imagine Dirty Harry, but more violent and with robots. We saw Cobra, so you know what that means, what it's time for. How did this create? We're gonna have a good time celebrating failure, not just be a hater Catch. You know, you wonder how did this convene?

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art.

[Paul Scheer]

Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get. Hello, people of Earthen. Hello, people of Seattle. We are live at Bumbershoot, and you guys are in for a treat. We have an amazing. We have two guests today, two special guests, plus my two amazing co hosts. Please welcome June Diane Rayfield and Jason Mantzoukas. Also welcome our first special guest. You know this guy, amazingly funny guy, Brian Posayn. And our second amazing guest, a musical genius. Please welcome Rhett Miller. Have a seat.

[June Diane Raphael]

There we go.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, here we are, Cobra. All right. Man. I haven't seen this movie since I was a kid and I forgot it.

[Rhett Miller]

Really?

[Paul Scheer]

I felt like today watching it, I was like, this is really just a ripoff of Dirty Harry in many respects. Right? I mean, because it's like he's chasing like a killer, a serial killer, but he's just way more badass.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, he's just like he does in it's all the setup of Dirty Harry. Like, I don't like your tactics. You're too much. Blah, blah. But instead of fighting like one serial killer, he's fighting an insane army of maniacs, which makes no sense.

[June Diane Raphael]

And it's Dirty Harry without the wit.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Somebody will say like, what is it just even in that trailer moment of you got an attitude problem. Just a little bit. Like, that's really. That's the best you have? They didn't hire any punch up guys. Like, there's somebody else.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No big deal.

[June Diane Raphael]

Try this.

[Paul Scheer]

Nope, I'm gonna go with just a little bit.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's not that strong. I think we can come up with something. But fuck it. Just a little bit.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What about all his hilarious banter with his partner over eating sugary food? I mean, really funny stuff.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yeah. He's like, should eat chicken and rice.

[Brian Posehn]

I've actually come to the conclusion that Cobra has an eating disorder in this.

[Ira Madison III]

Movie because he cut that pizza was nuts, right?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. He cuts a pizza with a fork and knife.

[Brian Posehn]

Yeah, but he's so.

[June Diane Raphael]

And he only eats the triangle part.

[Paul Scheer]

Scissors.

[June Diane Raphael]

Scissors.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He cuts him with scissors. And he is obsessed with what every character needs.

[Brian Posehn]

And we've only seen him eat one. Not even a whole slice of pizza, but a bite of it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Ira Madison III]

We watched him eat an apple.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think that's what Stallone was going through at that moment. Like, he was really obsessed with food. And so they were like, we don't have any dialogue for this scene. He's like, let's talk about food. Well, there's a scene I'll make fun of. I'll make fun of the food that guy's eating. There's a scene and I'll tell him he should eat better like me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There's a scene when Brigitte Nielsen is in the hospital. She has been assaulted. And the whole plot, all of the plot pieces fall out and they know what's going to happen next. Right? And at the end of the scene, inexplicably, Stallone picks up the food off of her food tray and starts trying to offer cheese to his partner. And his partner wants cake.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's it. And they get. And he's like, come on, you gotta eat the cheese. It's healthy. You can't eat, by the way.

[Paul Scheer]

Cheese is not healthy.

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

In 1986, though, they thought it was.

[Paul Scheer]

So my favorite moment about like, with food was they're in this diner, he's protecting Brigitte Nielsen and they have like this prop hamburger, like sitting on a shelf. And it's big, it's very large. And he carries it over, hey, you wanted a hamburger. It was a big fit for a big family. And then he puts it back. Like it was like sort of like a prop work that he did.

[Brian Posehn]

I was obsessed with that scene because. Well, my question to everybody is, do you think that when he got on set, he saw that prop hamburger and thought, I want to do a bit with this?

[June Diane Raphael]

Or do you think that's an idea for somebody script?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I can't. I feel like he's like, look at this thing over here. What if I come back, pick this up and I come back and.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm kind of doing a food through line. So this will work perfect with my whole running food theme thing.

[Paul Scheer]

But isn't that what makes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Starts in a grocery store where there's a lot of food? That's where they make food. Right.

[Brian Posehn]

By the way, though, in that scene, he's drinking a beer.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Next to a Pepsi sign. The Pepsi is all over this movie, by the way.

[Paul Scheer]

Pepsi is a warm beer.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's warm. It's just sitting out. And he grabs it. Yeah.

[Brian Posehn]

It's not cool.

[June Diane Raphael]

Refreshing.

[Ira Madison III]

Well, they show an entire Toys R Us commercial. They show a whole. As he's sitting there cleaning his gun, they just.

[Paul Scheer]

To me, I thought, like, I was like, why is Toys R Us and Pepsi going? We need to get into the R rated Sylvester Stallone market. Like, we need to get some Toys R Us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We need to get Toys R Us then did carry a line of Cobra guns. I'm sure. I'm sure there was. With laser sights. And this was like a movie that was built on. Well, there's a laser sight on the gun. As if people were like, I've never seen that. What is happening? This is amazing.

[Paul Scheer]

First of all, Cobra is a man of a lot of different sides. Obviously, we've already explored some of it. The food. I do want to just. I want to show the opening of the movie. This just kind of sets the tone for the world in which Cobra lives.

[June Diane Raphael]

In here in America. What's that? There's a birthday. Is that a Cobra? 11 seconds. An armed robbery every 65 seconds. A violent crime every 25 seconds. A murder every 24 minutes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is a dick.

[June Diane Raphael]

And 250 rapes a day.

[Paul Scheer]

And then the movie starts.

[Brian Posehn]

Here's a weird thing, though, about the way that his character is set up. He. He's set up as this cop who's really just like this renegade cop who won't follow the rules and goes off on his own. We never see him do anything that's that unreasonable.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, and not only that, he's doing legitimate police work. Absolutely. Where the rest of the police department is acting like dildos. Yes, they are. Literally keep contending that there is a single serial killer. Meanwhile, dozens of people keep attacking both Brigitte Nielsen and Stallone.

[Brian Posehn]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

They don't want to acknowledge it. It's easier to catch one than an army.

[Brian Posehn]

But his tactics are completely reasonable. He looks through photographs. He talks to people on the street.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He has, like, a composite done of what does the guy look like.

[Brian Posehn]

I have no problem with that.

[June Diane Raphael]

He's like, yeah, but he's the Zombie Squad.

[Paul Scheer]

The zombie. He's part of the Zombie Squad, which they never thoroughly explain what the Zombie Squad is.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, they thought this was going to do well enough for there to be a Zombie Squad sequel where you meet all the other Zombie Squad guys. Didn't do well enough.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. The Zombie Squad just seems to be like the people who get shit done.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's just him and the other dude. Yeah, it's just him and the dude that likes cheese. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And. And the other guy, his partner can't be more unlike Cobra. That guy just is like, you know what? I want gummy bears. Like, literally. That's a line in the movie.

[Brian Posehn]

That's a line.

[Paul Scheer]

I looked it up.

[June Diane Raphael]

That guy played gummy bears, had just come over to America then. So that was like a new thing.

[Ira Madison III]

He was in a Dirty Harry movie, Gonzalez. And he had the same name.

[Paul Scheer]

Same name in the Dirty Harry movies. He potentially transferred down from San Francisco down here.

[Brian Posehn]

Like, character had this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are you saying he's like Munch? He's been in.

[Paul Scheer]

He's like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He plays the same cop in everything.

[Paul Scheer]

Whenever there is a cop who is going against regulations, he is their partner. He's got to transfer all of. Across the country.

[June Diane Raphael]

And he just shrugs a lot and eats gummy bears. I guess Cobra's gonna do what Cobra's gonna do. But there is a. I like my gummies, I guess.

[Brian Posehn]

Like, the question I would ask the. The other lieutenants and stuff in that. In that police department is after the hostage situation at the supermarket, Cobra kills the guy who's holding these people hostage. He's already killed one person in a supermarket, and they really, like, rip Him a new one after that about how he did it.

[Paul Scheer]

Meanwhile, this guy is killing.

[Brian Posehn]

What would you have him do?

[Paul Scheer]

This guy in the supermarket has killed children. People at point blank range, like. And they can't get into the supermarket. He goes in there and he kills him. They're like, oh, how dare you? How dare you?

[June Diane Raphael]

Can we talk about before he kills anybody, he kills a lot of groceries. Yes. Producer.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's.

[June Diane Raphael]

It doesn't even shoot people till like 10 minutes in. Because first he's like blowing up produce. Produce. And then he sees some sodas he's mad at. Well, he's like the guy in the Jerk. He hates those cans.

[Paul Scheer]

He shoot. Then one time, he shoots at a shopping cart and it explodes like there was C4 in it.

[June Diane Raphael]

There was. That's because there was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They do sell C4 at that supermarket. I've been there.

[Paul Scheer]

I do. I do.

[June Diane Raphael]

I did pull my Cobra. What is he. Once. Yeah, he goes, I don't. I don't shop.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, yeah, I have this clip. This is. This is Cobra taunting the villain. And then, spoiler alert, killing him. Here we go.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, dirt bag, you're a lousy shot. I don't like lousy shots. You wasted a kid for nothing. Now I think it's time to waste you. There he goes. Come on, man.

[Paul Scheer]

I got a bomb here. I'll kill her. I'll blow this whole place up.

[June Diane Raphael]

Go ahead. I don't shock her. Hey, just relax, amigo. You want to talk, we'll talk. I'm a sucker for good conversation.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't want to talk to you. Now you bring in the television cameras in here now. Come on, bring it in.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can't do that.

[Paul Scheer]

Why?

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't deal with psychosis. I put him away. I ain't no psycho, man. I'm a hero.

[Paul Scheer]

You're looking at a fucking hunter. I'm a hero of the new world.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're a disease and I'm the cure.

[Paul Scheer]

Die.

[June Diane Raphael]

Drop it.

[Paul Scheer]

I just want to point out that in between saying drop it and shooting, there's no time.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yep. Well, also, doesn't the dialogue feel like it was written by five different people? Yes, it was like that game where you write a line, then I'll write a line, then. Cause it doesn't fucking connect.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's almost as if they were like, well, we need a one liner here. Everybody write a one liner. And then it was like, ooh, I love all of these.

[June Diane Raphael]

So it makes sense together, though. Who goes?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just run them through. Just run them through. We'll pick one oh, wait, we pick them all. Okay, good, Great.

[Paul Scheer]

And he doesn't say them with too much. Like, you hear. You've. Everyone hers have. Has heard that. Like, you're disease and I'm the cure. Like, he doesn't even say it with too much, like, panache. He's just kind of like, you're the.

[June Diane Raphael]

Disease, I'm the cure. I'm the cure.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, it's just like. It's sort of like he's not even doing the. I'll be back. He's just like, yeah, I'm just saying this. I don't think he knows when he's saying a line.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't care.

[June Diane Raphael]

Throw out my catchphrases with nothing behind him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't care. Stick around.

[June Diane Raphael]

Stick around.

[Brian Posehn]

I'm so curious about this gang because they say over and over that they're preparing for the new world. Yes, for the new world. We see them. We see them underground in some sort of warehouse space, all doing a group exercise together where they're clanking.

[Ira Madison III]

It's a music video.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Axes and sledgehammers.

[Brian Posehn]

It's a music video.

[June Diane Raphael]

Literally, there's only, like, 16 of them. So how are they really gonna take over the world with 16 people with axes?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This, to me, is one of those 80s things. Like, oh, wait, there are secret killer gangs out there, right? Guys? Just like the Russians. They're all the same. Like, there's something about like, that to me. Like, and when I was a kid, it was clowns. Like, clowns rode around in vans and would abduct kids with candy. Did anybody else have clowns?

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

What is that? Where did you grow up?

[Brian Posehn]

What's happening?

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, hang on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

One of those moments.

[June Diane Raphael]

There was John Wayne Gacy, but that's one guy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm having one of those moments where I feel like something I assumed we all shared, Jason, is unique to me.

[Paul Scheer]

You may have just seen Stephen King's it on TV and mistake it for.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, no, no, guys. We were all.

[June Diane Raphael]

You guys all thought the mushroom people were going to kill us, right? You guys all were afraid of the mushroom people.

[Brian Posehn]

When you say you were scared of being abducted by clowns, do you mean, like, killers in clown costumes?

[June Diane Raphael]

Correct.

[Brian Posehn]

Okay. All right. So not just, like, crazy clowns.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, no, no.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not real clowns, guys.

[Paul Scheer]

John Wayne Gacy. Like, Like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, that's what I asked.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, that's about it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just one dude.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, because people would be like, oh, I heard the clowns were around after school yesterday. The clowns. This is a real thing. You guys are Fucking assholes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know what? You know what you guys could be doing? Supporting me? You know what you're not doing? You're against me. You're against me.

[June Diane Raphael]

Now.

[Paul Scheer]

Basically the entire movie, the plot of it is that Brigitte Nelson looked at, like, caught a fleeting glance of one of these killers, one in the army of killers. And then they decide that they must kill her at all costs, even though she doesn't really know what he looks like. And the police drawing is not even that good.

[June Diane Raphael]

They don't know that.

[Brian Posehn]

Yeah, I mean, they draw so much more attention to themselves in order to get revealed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The thing is, they are committing all of these acts of murder. They are called the Night Stalker, the Night Slasher.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But the police think it's a single person. They're actually a gang. And because she's seen them, they're like, we have to kill her. But then they out themselves as an army of people in pursuit of killing her. Which is exactly against what they want. Oh, guys.

[Ira Madison III]

Well, I think I have a theory that the main killer guy, who, by the way, is super creepy. He's really creepy.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, yeah.

[Ira Madison III]

I think he was in love with Brigitte Nielsen.

[Paul Scheer]

Like that.

[Ira Madison III]

Why? First of all, why would he walk towards her car so that she can see his face with no mask on. And the way he looked at her. And then when he goes in to murder her, what does he say? He says, pretty hair.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He does.

[Brian Posehn]

That was really upset.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I thought that was.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's what I used to say to girls to get them the not talk to me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just to establish how creepy you were.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You would start with pretty hair.

[June Diane Raphael]

Pretty hair.

[Paul Scheer]

The main bad guy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, never mind.

[Paul Scheer]

The main bad guy in this kind of looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, like Terminator era, but then suck all the air out of him. So like, he's kind of like a gaunt Schwarzenegger. Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Hell, I might even be brought to you by Squarespace. I got so many websites up there. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Truly, I have been loving my Squarespace experience. I have broadened out. I have my website. How did this get made website, Unspooled's website, Dark Web's website, all there. And they each work completely differently. And what I love about Squarespace is from consultations to events to experiences, you can show off your offerings with a customizable website design designed to attract clients and grow your business. Plus, with blueprint AI, they have this AI enhanced website builder. You can quickly create personalized sites that align with your brand and goals. You can streamline your workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing, invoices and seamless online payments. To keep your business running smooth, head to squarespace.combonkers for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the code bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's right, squarespace.com bonkers using the offer code Bonkers.

[June Diane Raphael]

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[Paul Scheer]

T Mobile's network has the most advanced.

[June Diane Raphael]

5G with more towers and their signal reaches further than ever.

[Paul Scheer]

So you can text and insta talk.

[June Diane Raphael]

And say, you won't believe where I am.

[Paul Scheer]

T Mobile is the best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Uber glove speed test intelligence data 1H2025CT mobile.com network what's Poppin listeners?

[Laci Mosley]

I'm Lacy Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know they are represented because representation. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Could anybody else figure out the time frame of this movie? Cause this happens. Brigitte Nielsen. It's the middle of the night. She's driving by the underpass. She sees them murdering someone, right?

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She keeps driving, right? She goes and then does her modeling shoot.

[Paul Scheer]

There's a day in between.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There is because she said I thought.

[Brian Posehn]

It was the same night.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He said tell me what happened tonight? And she said when did you see them? Around 10 o'.

[June Diane Raphael]

Clock.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Then she goes and does a whole modeling shoot. Then she's. They find out where she is, in the meanwhile attack her. Then he saves. It's like four days of activities. Appears to happen in 90 minutes.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, you might be right because. Yeah, they don't go to the daylight again for a long time.

[June Diane Raphael]

Do you have that modeling shoot?

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, I do.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh my God.

[Paul Scheer]

Get ready. This is part of the music video modeling shoot. So Stallone and His partner from the zombie squad are out investigating. Brigitte is doing a model shoot. And this is kind of what happens for four minutes. I cut it down a little bit, so enjoy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I dare you to not jerk off during this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Can I watch the wigs?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

These wigs are great robots.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, you, you have tattoos here.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Combs his hair.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, we're looking for a tattoo. Oh, you got more tattoos up there, huh? Wait, she has nine outfit changes.

[Paul Scheer]

So this is four minutes of this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, do they have tattoos here?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hey, what do you know about the.

[June Diane Raphael]

Night Slasher, by the way?

[Paul Scheer]

It looks like he is just beating. I mean, he just beats up that bartender for no reason, just grabs him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's Cobra.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't like visors.

[Ira Madison III]

It was angel of the City by Robert Tepper. A great song.

[Paul Scheer]

But I've never seen. Seen a movie or at least an action movie. Take a four minute break for a music video.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's a lot of plot.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He knows the streets. That's the thing that's been set up is because he's on the zombie squad, he knows the streets. They're like, they're like. His name is Cobretti, by the way. Marion Cobretti.

[Paul Scheer]

Which the interesting thing about this was his name originally was Axel Cobretti and this is Beverly Hills copy. But it became so expensive that he just took all of his ideas for Beverly Hills Cop and then made this movie instead.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, Beverly Hills Cop was written originally for Sylvester Stallone. That's true. And they added all the comedy in after when he left and Eddie Murphy came on.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, and then the. There's another crazy.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think it would have been just as funny with Stallone.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is the better comedy.

[Paul Scheer]

I would have liked to see Sylvester Stallone play all those characters at any moment.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, is that a banana in your Ted? Fuck. That is a banana in your tailpipe.

[Paul Scheer]

Victor Maitland gave me herpes.

[Brian Posehn]

Do you think the photos for this photo shoot were for like a magazine or.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, 100%. Like Robot Monthly or Robot Digest.

[Paul Scheer]

Robots and food were big in 1989.

[Brian Posehn]

And there's a beat at the end.

[Ira Madison III]

Of the photo shoot where it's empty and just the robots are there and this goes. And the robot lights up. And I thought for a second, dude, this is gonna be like a robot movie. They come alive.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And so I thought the same thing.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, they shut down the whole thing and the robot is left. Oh, I do want to bring up one interesting point. The actual, I guess movie of Cobra is based on a book. And the book's Author. After Sylvester Stallone wrote this film, which he did write, he asked the author to take his name off the book and re release the book with his name as the author of the book.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Still. What?

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Ira Madison III]

That's hubris.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, but you didn't write the book. Yeah, but I wrote the movie, so now people are gonna know the movie. So I should write the book too?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

By the transitive property of mathematics, I've now written your book.

[Paul Scheer]

He asked the author to take his name off the book. Not even shared credit for the book.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm also gonna fuck your wife. I'm you. I'm you now. I live life as you.

[Paul Scheer]

I gotta live in your life. You.

[June Diane Raphael]

You never existed. Is that okay?

[Paul Scheer]

They were married at this point, I guess. Brigitte and Sylvester Stallone. They were together as a couple.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't even want a picture.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And she would.

[Paul Scheer]

She's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She would carry him around in a backpack. He's like, she's enormous and he's miniature.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, she carried him around like Luke and Yoda and Dagobah.

[Paul Scheer]

He.

[Ira Madison III]

He's listed as 5 10. But then they say, oh, he can't be above 5 7. But I stood next to him once. I'm saying 5 2.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Really?

[Ira Madison III]

I'm gonna say Stallone is 5 2.

[Paul Scheer]

He is also another guy who's probably always on apple boxes because he did not look like he was never short next to her. He's always standing on. He's like. It's like the Hobbit. Like, he's a perspective.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There's a great. One of my favorite bits in this movie is when he is doing good police work and he has her describe gaunt Arnold Schwarzenegger. They do the world's worst composite sketch of him to be like, well, that's the bad guy, right? And then he's like, I'm gonna take this. I'm gonna go to my apartment and look through my files. He goes to his apartment with the sketch, right? And he has the most crude, rudimentary computer. And he's holding the sketch in one hand and he's beeping through. And what he's going through is fingerprints.

[Paul Scheer]

And.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nope, not it. No, not it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's comparing fingerprints to a face.

[Paul Scheer]

The two things I want to point out here too is he goes to his apartment to look at fingerprint books. Like, that's what the police station is for.

[Brian Posehn]

Zombie Squad.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not if you're on the zombie squad.

[June Diane Raphael]

I got my own shit. I got my own file back.

[Paul Scheer]

Then I got the right scissors to cut my pizza at the Police station.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now, if I can just intuit this dude's fingerprints, I'll know who he is. It's mental.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, the composite sketch, and this is a deep reference, looks like the guy from Justice League of America cartoon, the big Native American guy who could grow really tall. It is not a good patchy Chief. Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He looks like Apache Chief.

[Paul Scheer]

It looks like Apache Chief. Also, you know, Stallone. Not only do you see Pepsi prominently in the. In that scene at the supermarket, but you see it prominently because apparently his house shares a balcony where there is a giant neon Pepsi sign on his.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Balcony, like an enormous Pepsi billboard basically on his.

[Paul Scheer]

Not like off the front. It's like he has a patio, and one of the walls of the patio is a giant Pepsi.

[Brian Posehn]

Well, there's also outside of his apartment, there's always one car parked outside with a gang of Hispanic people who are packed in the car. I was about to say clown car. Uh oh.

[Paul Scheer]

Don't bring back memories for Jason. Bad memories.

[Brian Posehn]

Uh oh.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They had candies, guys. The clowns. The clowns would pull up and they would offer you candy in a van, all right?

[June Diane Raphael]

But there's always. Shit is real.

[Brian Posehn]

There's always about seven people in broad daylight on what looks like a nice day packed into that car every time he pulls up.

[Paul Scheer]

And they're parked in such a way that he can't get his car into his spot. So they have a. They have a. I'll show it to you here. I don't even have to beat around the bush. This is exactly what happens.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Great news. This is not an offensive portrayal of Hispanics.

[Brian Posehn]

So that's good, jk.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a horrible portrayal of Hispanics.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here we go.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, this looks like his car looks like that Tucker. Oh, there. Oh, this can't fit.

[Ira Madison III]

He's pretty cavalier with his car here.

[June Diane Raphael]

It really isn't nice of him. Yeah, he's kind of an aggressive move.

[Paul Scheer]

What's your problem?

[June Diane Raphael]

You touched my car, man.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Get it, Mando.

[June Diane Raphael]

What a day after your health. You know what is. Pinch me.

[Paul Scheer]

Clean up your ass.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What?

[Paul Scheer]

Clean up. He's wearing a wire, right? Is he wearing a wire? He's wearing a wire.

[Ira Madison III]

I watch this 10 times.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's his mic. That's his love.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, wait, I got to do that.

[June Diane Raphael]

But it does look like he's going.

[Ira Madison III]

Wait, that's his mic for being an actor.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, right there. You can see it.

[Ira Madison III]

I was like, he just outed undercover.

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, that's. No, that is a wire. That looks like a wire. Looks like the tape over the front of it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Absolutely. His mic. And the sound guys went, hey, I think the mic. And then they went, it's a good take. We're just gonna.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

We're just gonna leave.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's the only tank top we got. So that's what we're using.

[Paul Scheer]

It's definitely not doing it.

[June Diane Raphael]

One, what I love is they're badass vatos and they're listening to Gloria Estefan, which has never happened, ever, by the way, though.

[Paul Scheer]

It doesn't like that. Makes you not want to like Cobra. These guys are just parked in a space. They're not even parked badly in a space. They're just parked. Who knows the situation that created it, that he can't get his car perfectly parallel parked. It's fine.

[Brian Posehn]

He goes there and rams. This isn't. This isn't a part of his police work. He may be an asshole, but again, like, as a part of the zombie squad, which my tax dollars are paying for, I don't mind the work he's doing, and I don't have a problem with it.

[Paul Scheer]

So you think he's an asshole in real life, but he's a great cop.

[June Diane Raphael]

But again, again, his dialogue doesn't matter because he says, that's not good for you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's not good.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's not good for your health. And the guy goes, what? And he goes, me? Wait, that's not good for your health.

[Ira Madison III]

Well, he ripped a joint out of his mouth.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, no, I know that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, does he mean connecting it to me?

[June Diane Raphael]

You say, that's not good for your health. And the guy goes, what's not good for my health?

[Brian Posehn]

Me.

[June Diane Raphael]

Me.

[Brian Posehn]

Maybe he was really.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know what I mean? Like, if you wrote that on the page, somebody would go, he did. It doesn't make any sense.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Here's the thing. He wrote it on the page, But I believe.

[Paul Scheer]

I firmly, firmly believe, because I saw Expendables 2 just a little while ago.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, God, me too.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, it's. And don't you think that there are just jokes that they think are funny on set? They're like, absolutely.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's so much of that shit.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

In that movie. The dialogue doesn't. It doesn't make any fucking sense.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, like, Dolph Lungen's like, writing down something on a piece of paper. He's like, hey, what's that? It's the quantum. He's like, it's like the. It's, you know, the theory of relativity, but better. Then he blows his nose in it and everyone's like, ah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's hilarious about that is the idea that Dolph Lundgren can write adorable.

[Brian Posehn]

He might have been looking at his own reflection in the other guy's eyeballs.

[Paul Scheer]

I do feel like it's all just Stallone just being like, that's funny, right? I'll do that. I'll do that. I'm gonna tell him to clean up his act and then I'll rip his shirt. But I'm not gonna tell anyone so he can hide his mic.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If at this point, anybody's wondering if Stallone takes the sunglasses off, he really doesn't. Because that's what you want when you're watching an actor in close up is to be looking at mirrored lenses, not their eyes.

[Ira Madison III]

And he barely takes off the leather gloves either. I swear to God. This was so modeled after the. The George Michael Faith video. And at one point. At one point, they're driving in the car and she goes, how do you know we're going to make it there?

[Paul Scheer]

And he goes, you got to have Faith. I swear to God.

[Brian Posehn]

Yeah, that happens.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, my God, I didn't even catch that.

[Brian Posehn]

That happens.

[June Diane Raphael]

Are you sure George Michael wasn't modeled after this?

[Paul Scheer]

The one thing that I think is so interesting in this movie, too, is every chase sequence traverses so much space. Like, they started chasing downtown. That ends in Venice. And it only happens in, like, five minutes. I mean.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, they go from, like, cityscape to the docks. Like, it's like. And it's like, as if they're like. They turn a corner. They're in a very densely populated area, and they're just in, like, empty, desolate desert. They're like, they might as well go. It might as well be the Cannonball Run in sections where they go across state lines. It's so crazy.

[Paul Scheer]

Hey, we're at Mount Rushmore. Oh, hey, we're over here now. Space Needle. Hey, Malamo.

[June Diane Raphael]

No one will notice. Just fucking nerds.

[Paul Scheer]

The final fight scene also traverses a bunch of, like. It starts off in a small town, then it continues into an orange orchard and then goes into a steel factory, which none of it. It's not like an orange pressing plant. It's like a steel factory. Everything in that factory is not making orange press. That's all I know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's like smelting metal. I want lava. I want there to be lava around. It'd be cool if there was fire and lava.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, man, it's so. So.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The other thing I loved is the guy, the killer, Gant Schwarzenegger. She's in the hospital. Brigitte Nielsen's in the hospital. So he goes in to kill her. But instead of going and killing her, he just decides to kill like 10 people along the way. He delays himself.

[Paul Scheer]

New world order.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He delays himself for so long just to allow Sylvester Stallone to find out he's in the hospital, drive across town to rescue her.

[Paul Scheer]

It's so easy for him to kill her. Just go in, go to the room, be done with it. But he is so excited to kill because even when he steals the janitor's uniform, he's in the elevator where the woman's like, you can't be in this elevator. Right on the service elevator. He's like, oh, gotta get my knife out. I'm gonna kill her. Like, no, man, keep it cool. Just do your job. Don't start laying the body count out here.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But instead, he has to kill the elderly woman and leave a bloody mop in bed with her.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, he puts the mop in there.

[Brian Posehn]

He didn't want to carry that around anything.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Then the nurse comes in. He kills her. He's just like on a kill. He's like, oh, he's. There's just too much juicy killing to be done before I kill. Pretty hair.

[June Diane Raphael]

He is. But then the unattractive cop is really bad at killing because she has all these opportunities to just kill everybody because they don't even know she's the killer.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, of course.

[June Diane Raphael]

So she could kill Stallone. The movie would be over halfway through. Sure.

[Brian Posehn]

Instead of leaving the gang to arrive in broad daylight.

[Ira Madison III]

The most inept ax gang ever. They are professional axe murderers. And every time they swing their axe, they hit a pipe or a wall or a car door.

[Paul Scheer]

It just shows you should not be an axe murderer because you don't. You can't ever figure out where the height is gonna be if you're running around. Unless you've really vetted the space before you get to the killing space.

[Brian Posehn]

I do a dry run.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This also has those kind of car chases that I am like, I become obsessed with because I'm like. In the time it took to have this car chase and all the action in it, at least 100 pedestrians were murdered due to indiscriminate machine gun shooting and giant multi car car wrecks. Like, there's shit that's happening. That is so they are just spray like Uzi spraying bullets around cars and people constantly.

[Paul Scheer]

None. It's like bad boys style death toll here. And it's like, also there are accidents. I don't even know how they happen. Like in the end when they're having their big chase scene, there's just three cars on the road on fire. But it didn't seem like that was set up before. Like, was the Axe Gang like, oh, let's set up these three cars here just in case our plan goes horribly bad and we have a big chase that leads us far away from where we were supposed to do the killing. This will be our backup. These three cars on fire, like, there's no reason for those.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

After every time the gang has come after him, like they've been in multiple cars with machine guns. After every time his superiors are like.

[Paul Scheer]

Cobra, what are you doing?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Your tactics are out of control. It's just one guy out there and he's like, no, I think it's a gang of people. And they're like, that's what you say. But there's no proof. There's a million people to prove it.

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em? What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know, they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts.

[Rhett Miller]

Did you know 39% of teen drivers admit to texting while driving? Even scarier, those who text are more likely to speed and run red lights. Shockingly. Know it's dangerous, but do it anyway. As a parent, you can't always be in the car, but you can stay connected to their safety with Greenlight Infinity's driving reports. Monitor their driving habits, see if they're using their phone, speeding and more. These reports provide real data for meaningful conversations about safety. Plus, with weekly updates, you can track their progress over time. Help keep your teens safe. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

Buying a car in Carvana was so.

[Rhett Miller]

Easy, I was able to finance it through them.

[June Diane Raphael]

I just.

[Paul Scheer]

Whoa, wait, you mean finance? Yeah, finance.

[Rhett Miller]

Got pre qualified for a Carvana auto loan, entered my terms and shot from thousands of great car options, all within my budget.

[Laci Mosley]

That's cool.

[Rhett Miller]

But financing through Carvana was so easy.

[Paul Scheer]

Financed, done, and I get to Pick.

[Rhett Miller]

Up my car from their Carvana vending machine tomorrow.

[Paul Scheer]

Financed, right? That's what they said.

[Rhett Miller]

You can spend time trying to pronounce financing, or you can actually finance and buy your car. Today on Carvana financing, subject to credit approval. Additional terms and conditions may apply.

[Paul Scheer]

I do want to talk about these police. The police station also. They go from a scene that starts in the morgue, they walk out into a police station, and then he walks into a shooting range 10ft away from.

[Ira Madison III]

The chief of police's office.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, it's all. All within 15. Yeah, 15ft away from each other. And they're all clear windows, so you can see in, like, who's in the shooting range. That'd be the most annoying office. Like, poof, poof, poof.

[Brian Posehn]

And there was no paperwork. He didn't to sign in. He walks in, picks up a gun and starts shooting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's like an Aaron Sorkin walk and talk is basically what it is. But it. And it's the. It's. It's Cobra and his partner and the chief of police and his, like, lackey. Those two peel off into the chief's office and Cobra and the other guy go into the shooting range. And in the background is just the chief, like, just watching him shoot.

[Paul Scheer]

But it's good that he took that practice, because when the kids gang of 90 axe murderers come, he doesn't miss a single one, ever. One shot for each one's like bang, bang, bang. Never does he miss. He's an amazing shot, Cobra.

[June Diane Raphael]

And they're horrible shots.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, they're horrible shots. And not even good bikers. They're just flying off their bikes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, they start. They leave Los Angeles. They were there, you know, they're the ex murdering gang. They leave Los Angeles on motorcycles to.

[Paul Scheer]

Take her up upstate.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, and that's his idea, right?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, that's Cobra's idea.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. So they're gonna get to Cobra and the girl and everything upstate. Now they ride all night wearing masks. Wearing like crazy like. Like ski masks. And also. And like, that would be the most suspicious thing anybody would see on the road.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, a gang of 60 bikers wearing ski masks.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, it seems like the new world order gang.

[Paul Scheer]

But you know what? I bet you though, they probably attacked at night, right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, no, I'm sorry.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, that drove during the night. They attacked at daytime.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, they drive all night.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's wait till they wake up instead of just murdering them in their sleep.

[Paul Scheer]

It's the craziest sequence.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's Cobra get some caffeine in him. Before. Before we go and get them, let's.

[Paul Scheer]

Make sure they can see us very clearly in the broad daylight.

[June Diane Raphael]

I want them to have a nice breakfast before.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I also want to give them a chance to bang first. Which is what happens, by the way.

[June Diane Raphael]

No sunglasses when he bangs that horrible.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Fingers her with leather gloves on. That's for sure. That is for sure.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just to the knuckle. Just to the knuckle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just to the knuckle.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. Well, he's wearing those gloves, so she knows. Feel it. Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

They're those knuckle free gloves or whatever they call in that scene.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

In that same scene. They're in like a cabin.

[June Diane Raphael]

Figureless gloves is what they call them, I think not. Knuckle free knuckle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They're in a cabin. And he's like, you should get some sleep. And she's like, trying to sleep. At which point he loudly assembles a.

[June Diane Raphael]

Gun that's right there.

[Paul Scheer]

He's like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, why aren't you sleeping?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. And then he's building a rocket launcher.

[June Diane Raphael]

Making the most noise I've ever heard.

[Paul Scheer]

I. Speaking of fingering, the model photographer also has a good line when he wants to sleep with her. He's like, come on, come on, don't do it for me, do it for your career. Like, that's how he's convincing her to sleep with it. He's like, come on. Like, he has the worst lines to sleep with her.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's like. And he also, at one point, he's like, I don't even want this for me. I want this for you.

[Paul Scheer]

Because you should be doing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You should be doing bigger layouts or something is what he says.

[June Diane Raphael]

You shouldn't be doing robots and wigs.

[Ira Madison III]

He says, look, I'd want to be sick not to sleep. I'd be sick not to want to sleep with you.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Can we talk about how I own this?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

He. Paul, we were trying to figure out what movie I was gonna talk about with you guys, and you gave me a list. And what was the other two?

[Paul Scheer]

The other two might have been. Oh, I forget. Like, maybe like.

[June Diane Raphael]

But I go right away I went, oh, Cobra. We have to do Cobra. And then you, Paul, very nicely sends me a link. Hey, you could check out cobra on Amazon.com and I photographed myself holding up my copy of the movie and send it back to him minutes later.

[Paul Scheer]

It was amazing. And I was so psyched. Now that I've seen it, I now own it as well. And I will revisit it a lot. It is great.

[June Diane Raphael]

We have been all by the out of this movie. And then Stallone next week is gonna be. We sold, like, a thousand copies of Cobra.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's. We're gonna get a sequel green list based on your purchases of this movie.

[Paul Scheer]

He's been rebooting everything and be like Cobra part 2.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

People are clamoring for this. It's. It's. It's going through the roof.

[June Diane Raphael]

Seattle we saw, so it must be happen in other place. And it's hot.

[Paul Scheer]

Cobra goes to Seattle. All right, this movie cost $25 million to make. How much money do you think it made at the box office?

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't remember if it was a hit or not.

[Paul Scheer]

25.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

11 million.

[Paul Scheer]

All right. 25 million to make it. Got a 13 on rotten tomatoes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why is there another baby here?

[Paul Scheer]

Babies.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's going on with these babies?

[Paul Scheer]

Babies like podcasts.

[June Diane Raphael]

Does that baby know? I've been saying a lot.

[Paul Scheer]

That baby really got into the fingering.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The baby's gonna be like, what? What's fingering?

[Ira Madison III]

I'm gonna guess 30.

[Paul Scheer]

30, 30.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is it the same baby?

[June Diane Raphael]

What? There was a baby at another stage.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There was a baby yesterday after I talked about vaginal discharge.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, that is what a baby is, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

That's true. All right, so we heard 11 million. We heard 30 million. Any other guesses? Take a guess.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't even know.

[Paul Scheer]

25 million is made in 1986. 1986.

[June Diane Raphael]

So 42.

[Paul Scheer]

$160 million. 160 million.

[June Diane Raphael]

So it was a big hit.

[Paul Scheer]

It's a huge hit.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why was there not a cobra, too?

[Paul Scheer]

He said that he was gonna make one, but he never got around to it. Man. 160 million. We're gonna open it up to. To you guys. If we haven't covered anything that you guys want to hear, answered any questions about Cobra things that you saw, if you have.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, good.

[Paul Scheer]

We have a good hand right here. All right, what's your question?

[June Diane Raphael]

Is that a baby?

[Ira Madison III]

What about where Bridget Nielsen is pouring.

[Paul Scheer]

Ketchup on fries for like, a minute and a half straight, and he's like, you're gonna need a life preserver. And she's like, for what? It's like your fries are drowning or something like that. Another.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's the only line that makes. And in the entire movie, he actually has a payoff to his stupid setup.

[Brian Posehn]

But that's why. That's the weird part of his, like, his food arc, because it seems like he should be just upset about the fact that she's eating fast food and French fries. But this is a strange detour. He's just upset about the ketchup.

[Paul Scheer]

But I would argue, Brian too, that that comment doesn't really work because it was, you need a life preserver. But then he goes, the french fries are drowning. The french fries would need the life preserver.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, no, but I meant. I meant for the fries is what I was saying.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think. I don't think he understands.

[June Diane Raphael]

When I said you, I meant fuck it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think he understands like nouns and pronouns and how they work. And I don't think basic sentence structure is a problem for him.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, it's a good one. All right, so what's your question? I haven't seen the movie, but it seems in the trailer like there's a ton of focus on his car. Is there any explanation why he's drawing a matte black 1940s Phantom something? Well, yeah, I like that car. Looked like Tucker, a man in his dream. Like if you remember that car.

[Brian Posehn]

Nope.

[June Diane Raphael]

What does the license plate say? Awesome 54 or Awesome 52? Yeah, it's like an old part.

[Ira Madison III]

Like a retiree car.

[Brian Posehn]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And it's got a. In one chase he's like, buckle up. And she puts on a racing harness. She puts on a like six thinged racing harness. And he has a nitrous booster in the car.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, that's from the others. That's from Tales from the Zombie Squad. Dude. It all makes sense. Yeah. What's your question now? Has anybody read the novel?

[June Diane Raphael]

Is it possible that this makes all of this make so much more sense? I type in this guy's Tale of Two Cities.

[Paul Scheer]

I will argue the novel was called Fair Game. It was remade later, I think with like Richard Gere and Chris. Well, Cindy Crawford.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And there's no character named Cobra in it. So I think it's a very loose adaptation of this book.

[June Diane Raphael]

I read a book. We're gonna make a movie of it. What's it about? I forget wouldn't be cough I was gone. A guy with a car and he, he hates Hispanics and oh my snake, he's got a cobra on his gun. We should call him Cobra because of the gun.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Even though that's not in the book.

[Ira Madison III]

When gone Arnold Schwarzenegger kills the janitor.

[Paul Scheer]

To take his uniform. Why does he also take the janitor's glasses? Yes. Yeah. He also, he kills someone and puts on the glasses because the uniform's not enough. He needed to.

[Brian Posehn]

Well, now I'm sort of understanding. Maybe he thought that old Woman. Was Brigitte Nils.

[June Diane Raphael]

Him.

[Brian Posehn]

Maybe it was just in prescriptions.

[Paul Scheer]

The prescription was too strong.

[Ira Madison III]

She did have pretty hair.

[Brian Posehn]

She did.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's the other thing is, in the final showdown between that guy and Stallone, that guy's going, come on, pig. I want your eyes. Yeah, I want your eyes, pig. And I was like, what? Is this a thing? Is this. Is this guy, like, harvesting eyeballs? Is this like a. Is this a thing I missed in the director's cut.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's a lot of other scenes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, guys, I hope there's a director's cut.

[Paul Scheer]

The movie. The movie is. Is roughly like an hour and like 27 minutes. Roughly. Roughly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's pretty exact.

[Paul Scheer]

How many people. How many people do you think were killed in this movie? Take a guess. A hundred. How many? 50. How many?

[June Diane Raphael]

180.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow. 180. 52. 52. 52 people. That's a person killed. Every other minute does that.

[Brian Posehn]

That doesn't include, though, pedestrians and passengers.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, yeah, those people weren't counted.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Collateral. Collateral damage is enormous.

[Paul Scheer]

So obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but now it is time for a second opinion. These are Reviews, cold from Amazon.com 5 star reviews. Now, Rhett, I know that you have a specific. You found one that you wanted to talk about.

[Ira Madison III]

Well, I really loved the music in this. I would love to meet the music supervisor that put all this stuff together. It was so bad.

[June Diane Raphael]

But he was still on. He was. Well, I like these songs.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, the big.

[Ira Madison III]

That the cobra theme was by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band, which is Eddie and the Cruisers. That's pretty.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, really?

[Ira Madison III]

Yeah. It wasn't Frank, which everybody, I'm sure, thought this one review on Amazon.com of the soundtrack was called. The review is titled in quotes, Feel the Heat. And that becomes a catchphrase in the review that he uses always in quotes. So he goes, if this is not the best movie that Stallone has made, then I don't know what is.

[Paul Scheer]

Feel the heat.

[Ira Madison III]

The soundtrack is, if not as good, better than the movie because unlike others soundtracks, it features all the songs from the movie and basically doesn't waste your time, exclamation mark.

[Paul Scheer]

Feel the heat.

[Ira Madison III]

I won't waste anyone's time with listing what songs are on the soundtrack because it may be looked up by oneself.

[Paul Scheer]

Feel the heat.

[Ira Madison III]

In summary, and in true 80s fashion, this soundtrack is sure to deliver maximum listening pleasure. Feel the heat.

[Paul Scheer]

What I love about it's almost like a professional wrestler wrote that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Full of heat.

[Paul Scheer]

The ones that I pulled this was a good one. Aspiring filmmakers, take heed. Commit Cobra to memory, or take up bricklaying. This one a lot more disturbing by G.C. garner. I gave it five stars because you actually feel like you're witnessing horrific acts being perpetrated upon innocent people. All right, that's. Some people like that, I guess. And this is my favorite one. It's a little bit long, but it is worth it. It's no wonder people who care for rights of criminals more than the rights of victims hate this movie. Imagine that. Here's a cop who not only says openly what he thinks of criminals and civilized judges, but puts his words into action. The human rights. Criminal rights, that is. People call this movie fascist. It's their favorite epithet for anything that's not compatible with their way of thinking. Don't listen to that babble. I'm not sure about the USA these days, but, boy, my country could sure use a few Cobras. Five stars.

[Ira Madison III]

There was a huge Reagan poster in Cobra's office, too.

[Paul Scheer]

Did you see that?

[Ira Madison III]

Was there when Gonzalez was in there.

[Paul Scheer]

Being there really was a Reagan poster.

[Ira Madison III]

Huge Reagan poster.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

When he's talking to his partner on the phone and he's looking at fingerprints on his computer.

[Brian Posehn]

He's taking fingerprints with photos?

[Ira Madison III]

No, Gonzalez goes back to the station and. And Cobra calls him. So how's it going to the hospital?

[June Diane Raphael]

He's good.

[Ira Madison III]

Well, I'm back at the station. They sent me back here. He's next to this huge picture of Ronald Reagan's face.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, I also love that, like that says, like, they are guarding Brigitte Nielsen who they think is going to be attacked. And then, like, a simple phone call just gets that to go away. Hey. Yeah. Don't worry about guarding that girl. Just come back to the station. Oh, okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cool.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, See, you just leave her litter there. We'll let her be. Okay, cool. If Cobra says it, I'm out. Is there anything that we have not talked about? Anyone wants to. Any final thoughts?

[Brian Posehn]

I mean, there's a wonderful moment at.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I do.

[Brian Posehn]

There's a gorgeous moment of levity when Cobra's outside. They go to some rest stop on their way upstate, and Cobra's outside this stand full of weird little trinkets. And there's a bobblehead. You know what I'm talking about? There's a bobblehead of. Who is it?

[Paul Scheer]

Of?

[Brian Posehn]

I don't even.

[Paul Scheer]

It's a Philadelphia Phillies baseball player.

[Brian Posehn]

There's just an unbelievable shot of Cobra playing with the bobblehead, trying. It looks like he's trying to figure it out. And bobbling his own head with it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. And then he ends it by saying to the guy, no sale today. Sorry.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. And then, by the way, they linger.

[June Diane Raphael]

No need to explain to a clerk when you don't buy something. Like.

[Paul Scheer]

But I also thought that he spent an obscene amount of time there touching all that stuff, but not to buy anything.

[Brian Posehn]

I think that's.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sorry I touched all your baubles, but I'm not. I don't like them enough.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

At the end of the movie, Cobra kills everybody and Brigitte Nielsen is saved. And then, of course, there is the. There's a time jump. And all of the police are there now, including the chief, including the weaselly chiefs guy who hates Cobra's tactics. And the chief says, well, Cobra, you did good today. If there's anything the department can do, it's yours. If there's anything we can do to make your work easier, we'll do it. And he gives him this whole speech about how they're gonna be behind him. Right? And Cobra goes, well, I would like it if you replaced my car. Cause he destroys his car in the movie. And they're like, we can't do that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And then that disappears. Gloss over it.

[June Diane Raphael]

But you just said. You just said you would. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Do any. Not in the budget. Sorry, Cobra. See you. And that's the whole sequel. Him trying to figure out who can fix his car. I would highly recommend seeing this movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Anyway, you should seriously all buy it. And do. Do what I said you can.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, you can buy it on Amazon. It's like six bucks on Amazon. That's a worthy investment. Six dollars. Come on, put it on your shelf. Enjoy it for the rest of your lives.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's amazing.

[Paul Scheer]

Thank you guys so much for coming out. Good night.

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin, listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week, I talk with very special GU about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too, guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know, they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o', Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcast.

[Rhett Miller]

Did you know 39% of teen drivers admit to texting while driving? Even scarier, those who text are more likely to speed and run red lights. Shockingly, 94% know it's dangerous, but do it anyway. As a parent, you can't always be in the car, but you can stay connected to their safety with greenlight. Infiniti's driving reports. Monitor their driving habits, see if they're using their phone, speeding, and more. These reports provide real data for meaningful conversations about safety. Plus, with weekly updates, you can track their progress over time. Help keep your teens safe. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast.