Double Dragon LIVE! (HDTGM Matinee)

Summary

How Did This Get Made? – "Double Dragon LIVE! (HDTGM Matinee)"

Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Date: February 17, 2026
Location: Live in Philadelphia
Movie Discussed: Double Dragon (1994)

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Episode Overview

In this riotous live episode, Paul, June, and Jason—joined by a raucous Philly audience—dive into 1994’s Double Dragon, a bizarre martial-arts/sci-fi/action film adaptation of the classic video game. They revel in the film’s convoluted logic, wild aesthetic choices, and the utter lack of connection to its source material, while debating burning questions like: Why does Alyssa Milano wear the world’s most confusing pants? What the hell are the Power Corps? And is the entire film just a fever dream of 90s video-game-adaptation nonsense?

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Movie’s Place in Bad Cinema History [02:26]

• Paul: The movie “might be one of the most insane films that we have ever done. It’s a little bit of Demolition Man, a little bit of Escape from LA. It’s a lot of Street Fighter in the sense it makes no f*cking sense. And it also feels like it could be a spiritual sequel to Super Mario Brothers."
• The hosts compare Double Dragon to other infamous flops, noting its strange mishmash of dystopian tropes and ‘90s aesthetics.

2. Connections (and Disconnects) to the Video Game [04:13, 07:29]

• Neither Jason nor June was familiar with the Double Dragon game before watching the movie; June didn’t even realize the film was based on a game.
• Paul: "While based on the game Double Dragon, it has literally no similarities to the game."
• They marvel at how the game’s basic premise (two martial artists fighting to save their mutual love interest) is mangled, asking whether the film even captures the spirit of beat-'em-ups.

3. What Is Going On With the Plot? (Pendants, Powers, and Robert Patrick) [09:03, 20:18]

• The “double dragon” concept is reduced to two medallions—“it looks like a best friends necklace. One of them’s got ‘be-fry’ and the other’s got ‘st-ends.’” - Jason [20:18]
• Robert Patrick plays an inexplicable villain who wants “total domination of one major American city” [30:33], despite seemingly already possessing it.

4. Post-Apocalyptic Los Angeles (and Its World-Building Failures) [13:00–15:08]

• The earthquake apocalypse is contained only to LA: “Just move,” Jason exclaims. “Move to Arizona. It seems [fine].” [14:27]
• Comedic riffing on the shaky logic: the city continues with karate tournaments, trash-fueled cars, and a bizarrely intact infrastructure despite the “dystopia.”

5. Alyssa Milano’s Character, Costume, and Hair [27:32, 37:54, 47:07]

• Alyssa Milano as Marion Lee—a “leader of a kid rebellion,” but with a baffling wardrobe:
• Jason, on the titular pants segment: "We’ve got to talk about these pants!" [56:05]
  The team (with audience help) painstakingly examines whether her wardrobe consists of shorts, chaps, jeans, garters, or all of the above (see Memorable Moments).
• The group also analyzes her infamous “blonde punk haircut.”
  June: “This hairdo will not look good on anyone. Not a single person.” [47:15]

6. The Power Corps Confusion [38:54, 48:40]

• Even after extensive debate, the hosts can't agree what Alyssa Milano's "Power Corps" faction actually does.
  Jason: “Alyssa Milano has all of New Angeles’s orphaned children who she is using as slave labor to power the city electrically.” [49:16]
• An audience member finally clarifies they’re vigilante anti-gangs, but even then, the hosts are unconvinced.

7. Unraveling the Film’s Wildest Scenes [26:42, 54:18]

• The group revels in the film’s fever-dream oddities:
  • Andy Dick as a post-apocalypse weatherman.
  • Trash cars fueled by Easy Cheese.
  • "Jack City" infomercials about earthquake-proofing buildings.
  • Outlandishly themed gangs, including mailmen and Mickey Mouse-gloved clowns.

8. Dissection of Video Game vs. Movie Finale [75:28]

• Paul plays through the original Double Dragon end scene for June and Jason: Billy and Jimmy, after defeating the gang, fight each other to the death for the woman’s affection, watched by a mysterious cat. Jason: “Doesn’t double dragon sound like a sexual position where brothers f*ck the same woman? Why can’t they just double dragon her at the end?” [78:19]
• They joke about the cat as the true boss, a running visual gag.

9. Audience Q&A and Second Opinions [62:35, 81:59]

• Philly audience members raise questions about the logic of the plot, the origin of "Jack City," the true nature of the medallion’s powers, and more.
• Paul shares "Second Opinions"—mostly mystified five-star Amazon reviews praising the film for reasons ranging from nostalgia to “costumes are spectacle to watch on an 84 centimeter television.”

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Memorable Quotes & Classic Bits

• Paul: “It really scratches the itch of pretty much every bad movie we've ever done. I mean, it hits all the tropes kind of perfectly.” [05:24]
• Jason: “It is so close to a breakdancing movie. It's so close to being Breakin’ 3.” [05:04]
• June: "I didn't know there was source material. I just thought this was a story about double dragons." [07:00]
• Jason, on the medallion: “It looks like a best friends necklace. One of them's got 'be-fry' and the other's got 'st-ends.'” [20:18]
• Paul, on the villain’s plan: “I just want total domination of one major American city. Is that too much to ask for?" [30:33]
• June, on Alyssa’s wig: “How out of touch is her father that he doesn't know she's wearing a wig?...Kisses the top of her head. It's a wig.” [39:22]
• Jason, about Alyssa Milano's pants: “It's like a thigh-high boot made of denim.” [57:59]
• June and Jason, on the video game plot: “Brothers fight to the death—then she just kisses the winner while a cat watches.” [76:26]
• June, on the cat from the game: "There's something about the position of that cat." [79:38]

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Detailed Highlights and Timestamps

[03:48] – Jason’s Introduction and Philly Banter

• Jason greets the crowd: “What’s up, jerks? How you doin’, Billy? That’s right. Double Dragon, Double D. Philly’s own Double Dragon, Double D—as Paul said, got those huge titties on the screen.”

[07:00] – June’s “No Video Game” Revelation

• June admits she had no idea Double Dragon was based on a game: “I thought this was a story about double dragons…I know Oregon Trail and that’s like it.”

[09:03 & 30:33] – What’s the Plot Again?

• Paul explains the game plot: brothers fight street gangs to rescue a love interest, only to battle each other at the end.
• Jason riffs: “They must rescue her and fuck her together as brothers and then kill themselves.” [09:29]

[13:00–15:08] – LA’s Bad Worldbuilding

• The hosts analyze the “post-apocalyptic LA” setting, noting that only LA is affected and everyone else should have just moved.
• “Why are they still having karate tournaments?”

[27:32–37:16] – Andy Dick, Jack City, and Trash Cars

• Andy Dick is a weatherman. “Vanna White. I think it’s an upgrade. George Hamilton. I think it’s…lateral.” [24:09]
• Easy Cheese car fuel and “Jack City” get lampooned as bizarre one-off bits.

[47:07–61:38] – Alyssa Milano’s Pants DEEP DIVE

• The group obsesses over her infamous “jean-garter-chap-shorts,” using screenshot searches and audience input.
• Jason: “It’s some sort of garter connecting the bottom jean to the top jean. I think.”
• Audience debate rages over the precise design and function.

[48:40–53:37] – Power Corps, Orphans, and Daycare

• No one can explain the actual mission or impact of Power Corps.
• Audience clarification: they’re anti-gang vigilantes, misunderstood by the police, but “seem like a rec center…and not a threat at all” (Jason).

[75:28–81:00] – The Absurd Video Game Playthrough

• Paul streams the end of the real Double Dragon NES game; June and Jason react in horror/amazement. The supposed “hero” wins the woman by literally killing his brother, under the nonplussed gaze of an inexplicable pixel cat.

[81:59] – Second Opinions Song

• A Philly audience member, Molly, performs a custom parody set to the Double Dragon plot.

[83:09] – Amazon Review Recap

• Paul and Jason share unintentionally hilarious five-star reviews, including one person who leaves their full San Diego address in the comment section in hopes of getting Bruce Lee DVDs sent to their house.

[85:40–88:24] – The Verdict: Would They Recommend?

• June: Despite thinking “I, of course, did not like the movie,” she admits it wasn’t a struggle to watch.
• Jason: “I would watch this. It’s like when you take Ambien and don’t remember you made a turkey sandwich.”
• Paul: “I think this movie is so fun and so bizarre and so weird…It has every trope of the movies that we watch on this show, but they're all together and it's shorter and less tedious than all those other ones.”

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Notable Audience Interactions

• The crowd gets heavily involved, especially in the Pants Symposium and questions about Jack City (revealed to be actual local Philly public-access personalities!). [71:24]

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Takeaways & Tone

• The tone is pure HDTGM: energetic, filthy, irreverent, enthusiastic, and self-aware.
• The cast relishes the film’s failures, cheerily dissecting every plot hole and wardrobe disaster, with constant callback jokes (Alyssa Milano’s pants, the confused cat from the NES ending, jacking metaphors, etc.).
• Double Dragon is held up as an exemplar of the “best-of-the-worst”—a movie so nonsensical, colorful, and trope-laden that even without understanding it, you somehow enjoy yourself.

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Best Way to Listen

• Great for anyone who’s seen Double Dragon or enjoys HDTGM’s gleeful eviscerations of bad cinema.
• A classic episode, especially for its audience energy and the infamous “pants” rabbit hole.

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Top 5 Most Memorable Quotations

• Paul: "It’s a little bit of Demolition Man, a little bit of Escape from LA. It’s a lot of Street Fighter in the sense it makes no fucking sense."
• Jason: "It looks like a best friends necklace. One of them’s got ‘be-fry’ and the other’s got ‘st-ends.’"
• June: “This hairdo will not look good on anyone. Not a single person.”
• Jason: “Doesn’t double dragon sound like a sexual position where brothers fuck the same woman? Why can’t they just double dragon her at the end?”
• June, on the video game cat: "There's something about the position of that cat."

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For the Uninitiated…

You do not need to watch Double Dragon to enjoy this episode—HDTGM does what they do best: delight in confusion, spotlight the strangest moments, and bring the crowd in on every running joke. The episode is an ode to D-list cinema and the glorious nonsense of 90s pop culture.

Transcript

[Paul Scheer]

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[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tonight, you've made it on time for the McDonald's breakfast menu. You think to yourself, finally, I can start my day. But what if breakfast could be even more perfect with the hot honey sausage egg biscuit? It finally is. Go to McDonald's and get it while you can.

[Paul Scheer]

Steroid therapy, gangland warfare in a post apocalyptic society where spinach torture happens. And Andy Dick is a we. Plus, it's a fucking kids movie. We saw Double Dragon, so you know what that means. Hey, everybody, now it's time for H E D T G M. Hey everybody.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now it's time for.

[Paul Scheer]

Hey, everybody.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hello, people of Earth and hello people of Philadelphia. Welcome.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, my goodness. Double Dragon. Double Dragon. This movie, wow, might be one of the most insane films that we have ever done. It's a little bit of Demolition Man, a little bit of Escape from la. It's a lot of Street Fighter in the sense it makes no fucking sense. And it also feels like it could be a spiritual sequel to Super Mario Brothers. What do you need to know? You need to know this. There's a pendant. There's two halves. A bad guy has one, half. The good guys have the other. Well, one of the sides get both. You'll see. That's all you really need to know. And maybe that Robert Patrick invents vaping. I don't know. But I think those are really the things that you need to know before listening to this episode. Although if you've not seen the movie, fucking watch this movie. Philadelphia agrees, right? Of course they do. All right, ladies and gentlemen, I cannot Discuss this movie by myself. I have two amazing co hosts. Please welcome Mr. Jason Mantzoukas.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's up, jerks? How you doing, Billy? That's right. Here we go. Double Dragon, Double D. Philly's own Double Dragon, Double D, as Paul said. Got those huge titties on the screen.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason. Paul, are you a fan of the video game Double Dragon?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No. Never played it real.

[Paul Scheer]

Never played it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, I have a huge reveal.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

June just told me right there. She didn't know this was a video game. Wow. The video game, the arcade game that is featured itself in the movie. I'm certain that's not true. I'm certain I must have played the arcade version of the game.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I had it for Nintendo.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

See, I never had a Nintendo. I never had. Yeah, no, I never had any of that stuff. I didn't have a fun childhood.

[Paul Scheer]

You didn't have a Coleco?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I didn't have a Coleco. I didn't have.

[Paul Scheer]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I didn't have an Atari 2600. Never had it. No. So I didn't know this and I'd never seen this movie. And I watched it and I was like, it is so close to a breakdancing movie.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's so close to being breakin 3.

[Paul Scheer]

It really scratches the itch of pretty much every bad movie we've ever done on the show. I mean, it hits all the tropes kind of perfectly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, there's skateboarding, of course. There's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There's future cars for Jessica St. Clair. There's trash cans on fire. And.

[Paul Scheer]

And by the way, we are in Philadelphia.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah. Bring us your eggs.

[Paul Scheer]

If you have Faberge eggs, please let me see them when we come out to talk to you in just a little bit.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, we would love to sign your Faberge eggs, Philly.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't want to wait any longer to bring out our resident video game expert, my other co host, June Diane Sa. Welcome, June.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hi, Paul.

[Paul Scheer]

How are you? I'm good, thank you very much. June did not know this is a video game film.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nope.

[Paul Scheer]

It stands on its own two feet then.

[June Diane Raphael]

Absolutely.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You found that. Yeah. That its merits, you know, were valid just as a piece of.

[June Diane Raphael]

Listen, I didn't know there was source material. I just thought this was. This was a story about double dragons. I mean, you have to understand. I also don't know. I know some games on Atari. I know Oregon Trail, and that's like. I know of Mortal Kombat and that's Leisure Suit Larry. So I don't know about video games, but no, I've never heard of this.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, maybe this will help you that this movie, while based on the game Double Dragon, has literally no similarities to the game.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, that's what I was gonna ask. Cause I was like, obviously, obviously the two leads are the two guys from the game. But is like, is Alyssa Milano's character based on a character in the game?

[Paul Scheer]

She is, but it's a little suspect. I'll read you the description of the game. The plot of the game is about two martial artists. One is a blue suited young man named Billy Hammer Lee and the other is a red suited twin brother named Jimmy Spike Lee. And they fight their way.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait, Jimmy Spike Lee?

[Paul Scheer]

Yep. I don't think it was. I oddly don't think it was like an homage to Spike Lee.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, you don't?

[Paul Scheer]

I think that they really were going after the Hammer and Spike. Two of the scariest things. But they fight their way into the turf of the Black warriors gang with Linda and Adobo as members. But why they are going into that territory is because they have kidnapped their love interest.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So wait, their collective love interest. So wait, this is this. This movie or the game? This is the game or the movie?

[Paul Scheer]

This is the game.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know. I don't know what I watched. This is the game on Amtrak and I was like, what's happening? I was confused.

[Paul Scheer]

I was so pleasantly surprised immediately. As soon as they saw Robert Patrick. Yes. So the game is about them going deeper and deeper into gangland to rescue their love interest, who I guess would be the Alyssa Milano character.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's disgusting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait a minute, Wait a minute.

[Paul Scheer]

And then what? And then the final level of the game. You want to guess the final level.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of the game is they fuck her together. I mean, that's what you just set up. They must rescue her and fuck her together as brothers and then kill themselves.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know. That's where we're going.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason. It's much more honorable. They rescue her and then Billy and Jimmy fight to the death over the determination of who will win the affections of her.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They fight each other to the death.

[Paul Scheer]

The final level of Double Dragon. Double Dragon becomes solo dragon at the end.

[June Diane Raphael]

And in the video game, do they have these powers?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, in the video game they have suits. We can watch a play.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She asked if they had powers. You just said they have suits.

[Paul Scheer]

No, they are just. I'm saying that that's the only similarity. Like I. And there may be a video game person out there. You can Save it for how to design get played. But. But I. They don't seem to have any. Like, it's not like part of their mythology. It's more like they're going in and fighting a bunch of street toughs. And they're also street toughs. And that's at least my memory of the game.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Your memory is mostly street tough related. And that's T u f F. Am I right?

[Paul Scheer]

Tough.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Street toughs.

[Paul Scheer]

Street tough.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't want to go down there. There's street toughs and teenagers.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, because even in the video game, the end boss, he doesn't have any powers. He just has a machine gun.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

In the video game.

[Paul Scheer]

In the video game.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, it's not the end boss, though. The end boss is your own brother. At the end of the game is fratricide, like, which is a crazy world to live in. What a moral choice.

[June Diane Raphael]

So I just want to say, but.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is Alyssa Milano worth it? I guess.

[June Diane Raphael]

Maybe. Listen, I'm ready to talk about Alyssa Milano's hair and.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And her pants. Please tell me. The pants.

[June Diane Raphael]

Of course.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Please.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm ready to talk about that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I will talk for one hour.

[June Diane Raphael]

One hour at least.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I promise you, Philly, one hour. Below the waist only. Holy cow. I mean, look at even the gloves she's wearing in this one. It's pretty wild.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, let's get into the idea of the glove. We are. We are meeting a lot of different gang members, and some of them are just wearing Mickey Mouse hands. That seems to be like, at one point they go, look at these clowns. And I was like, do they mean, like, this is a gang of clowns?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Some people seem to be. Some people seem to have white face paint, though, almost as if they were clowns.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, this is the weird thing. I couldn't tell if this earthquake had. If these people were insane. Insane. And then the quake happened and they were just sort of let loose or if the quake shook the sense out of them.

[Paul Scheer]

So you think, by the way, how.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you think that might happen?

[Paul Scheer]

Let's keep on going with this idea because it is seven years later. This movie takes place in the future, but in our past. 2007 in New Angeles. And we are. We are met to a world that is still experiencing aftershocks seven years after.

[June Diane Raphael]

That was a big quake. That's what I'm saying, Jason. It was a big quake, sure.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right. But you're saying, did it shake people into insanity? Like, did it did the first.

[June Diane Raphael]

I feel like this is a good time, Jason. We've Never experienced the Big One. We will. It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of why.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm just saying there is a podcast called the Big One that KPCC put out recently. Six episodes of Absolutely Terrifying Reality about how Los Angeles is in for the Big One. Just a subtle plug there for that podcast.

[June Diane Raphael]

Right. So we are.

[Paul Scheer]

The hearing of that podcast existing just gave me the chills. You in Philadelphia don't know what we're talking about. Okay. But we live in a world that. That could literally create what you saw in this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's the thing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's our future. They ride a jet ski right over my house.

[June Diane Raphael]

And again, that was unsettling for me. Not if it is when. Yes, it is when we live in this reality.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But you're saying the reason the gangs are so prevalent is because the Big One just rattled everyone's brains into being. No, I think this is some sort of, like, Mad Max, like, dystopian nightmare.

[Paul Scheer]

But let's talk about it from a different perspective, which is something I couldn't get out of my mind. The big quake happens, but it's not a post apocalypse in the world. It's a post apocalypse society in la.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just move.

[Paul Scheer]

Go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Move to Arizona, it seems.

[Paul Scheer]

Move to Colorado.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It does.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, there's plenty left. The world is not over. These idiots stay here for karate tournaments that are like normal karate tournaments, but just with bad lighting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, that's what I couldn't figure out in. In the movie. Why are they still having competitions? There were. They weren't in school. They weren't like part of an individual. Like, I couldn't figure out why are they having corrupt. Like, I understand they want to establish that these guys are badasses. So when they go out into the world and they get into fights, we see that they are learned in whatever martial art.

[Paul Scheer]

But. Can I stop you here? You say badasses. They're fighting like Karate Kid 1, like Ralph Macchio karate. Like, they are not doing anything.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The best.

[Paul Scheer]

I just wanted. I want to make sure that people are on the same page because I was getting a print frame than it was of Daniel LaRusso doing the crane.

[Trevor Noah]

Cool.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Cool brag.

[Paul Scheer]

It's a pretty cool print. And the guy behind the counter is like, oh, man, this is awesome. What's it from? And I go, karate Kid. He's like, I love Jaden Smith. And I was like, so I need to always make sure people know there are two Karate Kids and three if you count Hilary Swank.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, I. We Were getting on a train while watching the beginning of this movie.

[Paul Scheer]

So.

[June Diane Raphael]

So I'm not sure is there. Do they work together in their fight moves? Is that the thing about being a Double Dragon brother? That.

[Paul Scheer]

No, they don't do anything together.

[June Diane Raphael]

Some of the moves that they did at the end were incredible and looked really fun. And I'd like to try them.

[Paul Scheer]

It was almost as if Kid in Play started doing karate. Like that was the level of fight.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How did June break both of her legs? Oh, they were doing that spin thing from the end of Double Dragon as the photo pose at the end of an episode and she went flying into the audience.

[Paul Scheer]

But I was concerned or at least curious that we're in this post apocalyptic world where there's still karate tournaments that are. They're very polite. They're not like, they don't seem like aggressive. They. They seem like gym karate tournaments. But then there's like huge sponsors, like 3M, the people who make like tape. They literally have like a sign up, like 3M on the wall. Like, they're like, hey, we're getting in on this. I mean, I know L A fell off into the water, but we still got to sell our fucking Scotch tape.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Something. Yeah, we got to sponsor something. I guess it's underground, very organized martial arts competitions. But also there's a curfew because there are so many different types of threatening gangs. Like, again, to your point, imagine what the rest of the civilized world thinks of Los Angeles in this moment.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, listen, I would love to know how much federal money has been devoted to the natural disaster that's happened here. Our federal government.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We don't see fema.

[June Diane Raphael]

We don't see FEMA there. We don't see.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Interesting.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason has just been assassinated. June has just gone down. It's just me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I knew it would be Philly. I knew it. I knew it. Philly City's dangerous.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, to your point, June, the police are underfunded. So much so that at the big end scene, when the police decide to actually be police officers, they really are only in a closet. Like, they don't even have like a full. They don't even have, like a full conference room to gather in.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, I can understand that though, because no one's paying taxes in New Angeles because nobody has a job and there doesn't seem to be any infrastructure in place. But where is the rest of America?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Yeah. And has the rest of America just been like, you know what? Fuck it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. Are they quarantined?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, like, that's the thing is, like, it doesn't the way that other post apocalyptic movies do. They don't give us a sense of the world. They're just like, nope, this is what happened here and this is what we're doing after the quake, 2007. You know, there's like, you know, by the way, this movie starts somewhere in China.

[Paul Scheer]

Everything.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Everything seems pretty cool. Everything seems pretty cool. Although it does seem to me, okay, when the movie started somewhere in China. Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Somewhere we couldn't be bothered to figure out. Exactly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I thought for sure this scene was in the past. Oh, absolutely, everybody. It is in fact contemporary to the rest of the movie because people are wearing like, like, like what to me is traditional outfits with like, stuff on them and ba ba, ba. And there's a temple and. And the lady Lash goes in and gets the. The medallion. And then she opens up a briefcase and it's a satellite communication system. And she's like, it's me. I got it. And I was like, this is now what?

[Paul Scheer]

But by the way, I mean, Robert Patrick, who's introduced next, we don't even meet the double Dragon brothers for quite a bit. He is like, ah, finally, can't wait to see the double dragon medallion. And then opens it. And there's only one part of the medallion, it's called double dragon. Like, he, like someone would have been like, hey, you know what? I know it's weird. That's only one dragon, right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And here's the thing. It's not like you would confuse it. It looks like a best friend's necklace. It looks like one of them's got beef fry and the other one's got stu ends. And it's like Lash goes somewhere in China, finds stuh ends, and is like, I got it. And he's like, where's beef Fry? And she's like, there's a beef Fry? I thought this was the Saint Ends medallion. What? No, no, don't. Just because it got quiet. You don't have to applaud.

[Paul Scheer]

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[Jason Mantzoukas]

With McValue, the $5 McChicken meal deal, the $6 McDouble meal deal, or the new $7 Daily Double meal deal, each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary.

[Paul Scheer]

Not by Alder McDelivery, but we do know that people are not of their right mind. Was it because of the quake? We don't know. Was it because, you know, Andy Dick gave up on acting and decided to become a weatherman? Like there are weird choices Made in this movie, like Andy Dick's. Like, I survived. I don't want to leave LA from my burgeoning movie and TV career. I'm gonna stay here and just transition to being a weatherman. Vanna White. I think it's an upgrade. George Hamilton. I think it's like it stayed lateral.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Move.

[June Diane Raphael]

From the Hollywood harbor to the Tijuana border. This is New Angeles number one Nightly News with George Hamilton and Vanna White.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

In our top story tonight, it's daylight savings time again. Now, make sure you set your clocks one hour ahead tonight or tomorrow evening. You may accidentally find yourself out after curfew.

[June Diane Raphael]

I always get them mixed up, whether to go forward or backward.

[Paul Scheer]

That's a great banner. Andy, how's it look out there?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, boy, you two are crazy.

[Paul Scheer]

June, what do you think is going on in New Tokyo? I just saw that right now. Andy Dick is in front. New Tokyo. That seems as if there was an earthquake in Japan and Tokyo sailed over.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So I think that's what's happened.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, I think what happened. Is that possible, or I think it might have been.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Japan is gone. Japan is gone. Some piece of land mass is there, and they're like, well, it's New Tokyo now.

[June Diane Raphael]

I thought it was Little Tokyo downtown that somehow split off and floated into the ocean.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, what's interesting is this map appears to have the Capitol Records building, like.

[Paul Scheer]

Right there in Lake Pasadena. If you know anything about Hollywood and you shouldn't, this map is aggressively wrong. It's.

[June Diane Raphael]

But who knows, Paul? After the shake, after that big shake.

[Paul Scheer]

But that would mean.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That would.

[Paul Scheer]

That would mean the way this map is structured, that, like, a lot of the west coast would come off, and then Pasadena would come running up to the west coast, but then other parts of the west, like the west side, would stay totally intact.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So the Pacific Ocean basically comes up divide is what this is saying.

[June Diane Raphael]

It seems that neighborhoods have jumped over each other.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Anyway, these people decide to stay. They're heroes. You know, I know a lot of people say a lot of things about Andy Dick, but, you know, he stayed. When the quake happened, he stayed. So one of the things that you see in the karate tournament is like a little guy just going, like, every time there's an earthquake rumble, he's, like, jacking it up, like. Like jacking up a car. Jacking it up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What? Jacking it up.

[Paul Scheer]

But they're like, this movie is based on the premise that, like, if you put, like a car jack in a building, you can restrain your. It's stupid.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But but here's. I mean, there's an active commercial for Jackson in the movie like this. The focus is on just the commercial.

[Paul Scheer]

This is why I love this movie. Because this movie starts off, we're in China. We're in a big bad guy's lair, we're at a karate tournament. And then we go into Weirdo Yankovic's UHF where we just have, like, a bunch of fucking sketches. It's like, here's a commercial, here's a funny newscast, here's an exceptionally long weather report.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, and it keeps going.

[Paul Scheer]

At one point, I was more interested in who was in the NBA Finals because George is like, and the NBA Finals is here again. I'm like, oh, who? Who is it gonna be? You know? And we never got to it. All right, so here's Jack City. It's Sunday. You're watching the Raiders Gladiators game on tv, and suddenly the house collapses.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How embarrassing. But it's not your pause for one second. These are those classic LA accents, those classic Southern California quintessential accents that are synonymous with the city itself.

[Paul Scheer]

Sorry. I also feel like they were trying to take a subtle dig at Super Mario Brothers a little bit, but maybe I'm wrong.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You think these guys are Mario and Luigi?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, interesting.

[Paul Scheer]

Because they're, like, not plumbers, but they're jackers.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

See, I thought they were. They're jackers. I don't like that. Jacks. I don't like that. And I don't like how quickly it came to your mouth.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, there's the T shirt. Jack City. Get these guys.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's not bad.

[Paul Scheer]

I like a jack.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I will say I liked the sequel, the new one, New Jack City.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, here we go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's all about wordplay, Philly.

[Paul Scheer]

It's everybody's fault. That's why you gotta go to Jack.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

City, where you can choose from hundreds of decorated colors.

[Paul Scheer]

So remember, if you didn't buy from us, you don't know Jack City. Also, just a pause. Never comes back in the movie. These Jacks are not a part. An important part.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm sure they were gonna be like, some reason, because they're set up, like, three different times in the first act, you see people during the fight sequence jacking up posts. You see them later jacking something up. Then you see the commercial. And I was like, okay, that's gonna be part of it. Nope, not at all.

[June Diane Raphael]

So a couple questions about Shuko and Shuko's motivations.

[Paul Scheer]

And do you want to refer to him as Shuko? Or Victor Geismann.

[June Diane Raphael]

I will. I mean, I love his Christian name, but I prefer to call him Shuko. So Shuko, I guess, owns most of Los Angeles.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Seems like he is some sort of oligarch.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. So I'm confused about what he actually needs from these powers, given what he's been able to accomplish without them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Also. Also, why is he also the person who killed their father? Like, what is his.

[Paul Scheer]

What's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, why are all of these people connected to each other?

[Paul Scheer]

He also doesn't seem to have any martial arts background at all. Any. Like. And look, we get the biggest insight into his motivation in this scene where he reveals what he really wants. I mean, this is. This is basically it. Like, if you go, what's this movie about? It's about this character saying this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How hard can it be to pull.

[Taco Bell Commercial Voice]

My beloved dragon out of the river?

[Paul Scheer]

Huh?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, it's down there.

[June Diane Raphael]

The river's really deep.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Damn it.

[Paul Scheer]

Lewis. Any news?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I just want total domination of one major American city. Is that too much to ask for?

[Paul Scheer]

Is it? Is it? That's what he wants. Total domination.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has it. He's got it.

[Paul Scheer]

He got it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, hang a mission accomplished sign over the aircraft carrier, baby. We did it.

[Paul Scheer]

He is working out of a mall. Anything is bought for a price.

[June Diane Raphael]

It also seems, though, that a lot of. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know the source material, but it seems that a lot of the medical experiments he's been able to do have happened without these medallions.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So those are just. Yeah, that's. That's like he's some sort of, like, you know, he's giving these guys steroids or. Yeah, no, he seems to be trying to create, like, monsters.

[Paul Scheer]

I wrote down. He is creating a bunch of extras for Nothing But Trouble. A movie that we did on this podcast.

[June Diane Raphael]

This. This movie has a lot of very. Nothing but troubling at points. It does feel. And that monster that's created a rejected.

[Paul Scheer]

Klumps character.

[June Diane Raphael]

And that monster's created to be the most powerful man in the world.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, his name, Bo Adobo.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Adobo.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So both part of the Mohawk gang.

[June Diane Raphael]

The problem with him is he was much more flexible. He was much more malleable and quick and I think, stronger before he became that monster, of course.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of course. No, once he becomes this roided out kind of monstrosity, he has to be put inside of a plastic suit that becomes like, that can't move or can't do anything. So he just Kind of wanders around. I know there in the beginning, I.

[Paul Scheer]

Know that there is like a theory about if you use steroids, your penis gets smaller. Right. I imagine that how big he is is his penis so, so tiny.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is that, Is this what you were thinking about during the movie? Is that why you have all those pictures in there drawn?

[Paul Scheer]

I was like, now again, picture the body. Do, do, do tiny, tiny, tiny pee, pee. And that's why he's so mad.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You think that. Okay, okay. You think Bo Adobo is so mad because he's been made to ingests so much steroids that it has made his penis so, so small that he's full of rage. But arguably what happens upon his being full of these steroids is he becomes quite emotional and starts rooting for the good guys. Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, I think that's after he loses the battle, right, and he's left for dead.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, I guess that's right.

[Paul Scheer]

They do leave him for dead in a burning building. So I think that would make you switch sides. But even at that point, he is kidnapped and then is force fed spinach, which I thought was like kind of a play on Popeye. This movie is fucking wild.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's crazy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm realizing now, genuinely, I don't. I didn't pick up on a lot of stuff, but I just watched it, like, colors and shapes going by. Usually I'm able to intuit more of what's happening. And in this one, I was like, okay, red and blue are still in it. But I don't know what's up with this guy. This guy looks like Bane now.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Couldn't quite figure it out. Robert Patrick was doing, as far as I'm concerned, the best Charlie Sheen impression I've ever seen.

[Paul Scheer]

I love Robert Patrick in this movie. And I googled, I said, when did you know? When did Terminator 2 come out? Are we like, is this like the next movie he made or is this a little while later? Terminator 2 came out in 1991. This movie came out in 1994. So pretty close. Like, this is like, you're hot. What's your next move? Double Dragon.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I got the call, Bobby P. I got you that job and it's called Double Dragon. Do you know any martial arts? No. No worries. When it comes to martial arts, we'll turn you into two guys with swords. You just think real hard, wish on a medallion, and you will turn into two guys with swords.

[June Diane Raphael]

The crazy thing about him is that medallion that's hanging on Scott Wolf's neck is he goes through all of this, all of these different, I guess, body shifting moments to jump into people's body, to use the power of the soul to get in there, to get that other medallion. There are so many points in this movie that that medallion is this close.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

And he could have just. Everybody can grabbed it. Just get it. It's outside of his shirt. Just go right there and just grab it like that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, I don't feel safe. I don't like it. I don't feel safe.

[June Diane Raphael]

Get it right there, June.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know, no touching.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, this movie also posits that everyone fights terribly because at one point the Double Dragon kids are attacked by like conservatively like 45 people.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

At least they are, they are surrounded by a battalion of people and don't.

[Paul Scheer]

No one surrounds them. They're not particularly good fighters. I mean they're not like you don't watch these moves and go like, whoa. You kind of watch these movies go like, if I did karate for six months, I could do this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Mark Dacascos is a legit, like for me also one of my very dear co stars in John Wick Chapter 3 Parabellum. He is legit, like one of the best. I fucking love him. He's doing such amazing work in this. But you're right, everybody else, if you told me they didn't block or plan any of that fight and they were just like, we have 400 extras. You and Scott are just gonna jump up and down and they're gonna fall down randomly.

[June Diane Raphael]

By the way, it's during this fight, that big fight scene where I thought maybe everybody got just their sense shaken out of them because there's a mail, there's a mailman in there. There's some. There's a male person, air mail.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm like all of a sudden wearing like the wor. Like the tryouts for WWF, like 80s WWF.

[June Diane Raphael]

But that gentleman, that gentleman is in his uniform, his postal uniform. And it really looked like he was just delivering the mail one day. The big one is, well, should we.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Understand that the mailman are part of one of the gangs? Yes. Right. Like that's what's happened. Like all groups are now unto. Or jobs are unto themselves gangs.

[Paul Scheer]

But what move is that to try to land on someone but announce your jump? Because you are letting them know it's like, like it's like saying, look out below. But you're trying to kill them. So you should be like, shh. Jump.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You shouldn't be like, you think you should say shh. And Then jump.

[Paul Scheer]

I was trying to make it for the podcast audience that they went, be very quiet. I'm hunting doubled wagons.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't catch a lot. I couldn't. If you told me, I couldn't tell you anything about Alyssa Milano's character. Like, zero.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, she's very well defined.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know she's leading some sort of.

[Paul Scheer]

Power corps kid rebellion. The kids are just a new faction of the power Corps.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So she's got kids working for her?

[June Diane Raphael]

No, those kids don't have home.

[Paul Scheer]

They don't.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They're homeless.

[June Diane Raphael]

I believe they are homeless.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh.

[June Diane Raphael]

She says this is a safe space for them.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. So they don't get pulled into gang violence. So they don't get, like, those Mickey Mouse hangings.

[June Diane Raphael]

They have an after school program.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How out of touch is her father that he doesn't know she's wearing a wig? Can you imagine your daughter is wearing a wig every day and you're like, you look great, sweetie. But by the way, your daddy's little girl kisses the top of her head. It's a wig.

[Paul Scheer]

But by the way, I do need to point out that when we meet Alyssa Milano at home and she's combing out that wig, she puts on like a housecoat and is dressed the way my grandmother dressed around the house. As a woman in her 50s that didn't really have a job, I was like, this is an odd choice for a youthful young woman to be wearing a housecoat.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Scathing indictment of your grandmother. A jobless woman in her 50s wandering about in a housecoat. What shame. What shame. Nana, get it. Job, Nana.

[Paul Scheer]

She didn't need a job because she had all them Faberge eggs.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Got those eggs. Philly, give us those eggs.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, I know Paul used it to nurse a really serious crush for Alyssa Milano. So this must have been.

[Paul Scheer]

I did have an Alyssa Milano poster over my bed.

[June Diane Raphael]

What?

[Paul Scheer]

She was in a hockey jersey and, like, looking who's the boss style, you know?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, is that when she played for the Flyers?

[Paul Scheer]

I don't remember.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I wonder if that post huge poll, by the way. I was like, 50, 50 on whether that's right. Like, genuinely. I was like, I'm just gonna go for it.

[Paul Scheer]

No, I had a huge crush on her. And then I. This is the poster. I just pulling it up right now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Paul, be careful. Paul, be careful. You might spontaneously ejaculate. This might be, like sense memory. This could be Pavlovian.

[Paul Scheer]

So she's in a New Jersey's devil.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, Philly, okay, so there it is.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, you could see it a little bit. And that's what I had over my bed. She's in ripped jeans. New Jersey's Devil. And of course we know. And I traded it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait, I don't think it's New Jersey Devils. I don't think it's New Jersey's Devil.

[Paul Scheer]

I just.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think it's possessive of the devil.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't respect it enough. Rangers forever. Better than Islanders.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Paul, this is Philly, remember?

[Paul Scheer]

I know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

These people eat horseshit off the street. Look under your seats. There's a fresh apple under every seat. Munch, munch, you weirdos.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I think I traded that poster for.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You traded it?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, my friend was like, I want that poster. And I was like, what will you trade me for? And I think I got a Ghostbusters mirror.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What?

[Paul Scheer]

Like a mirror that had the Ghostbusters logo on it. So what?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So you could jerk off to your own image?

[Paul Scheer]

No, to the ghost.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

With a mirror. That's very sad. Oh, God, Paul, you lost that trade. I don't mind telling you, you lost that trade.

[Trevor Noah]

Hey, what's going on over there? It's me, Trevor Noah. You know me. You don't know me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, you do.

[Trevor Noah]

I was worried there for a second. Well, if you know anything about me, you'll know. I love having interesting conversations, conversations where we scratch beneath the surface, like what's really going on in the news? Or what is that celebrity really thinking about that scandal that they had? Or what's the worst way to be a parent? I mean, you want to find that out so you can be the best parent, right? Well, regardless of what it is, this podcast is all about figuring that out, talking to interesting people who have interesting ideas that give us an interesting perspective on the world that we're living in. So check out what now with Trevor Noah, available wherever you get your podcasts.

[June Diane Raphael]

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[Jason Mantzoukas]

Alyssa Milano. It was like a real, like, I feel like, sex symbol.

[Paul Scheer]

Who's the boss?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, exactly. From who's the Boss? In that way that, like, I get why she's in this movie as this character. I just couldn't figure out what she was doing.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, and by the way, they have a great who's the boss? Reference in it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I don't know.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, it's great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just old and I'm just older than you guys enough that who's the. The boss? And Alyssa Milano kind I miss. Oh, it's so good about Double Trouble Twins.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, that's good too. But basically there's a. The line was this in the final battle? Linda. That's Linda. Lash says to Marion, now who's the boss? And then later, Marion tells Lash, you're lucky. Generally I put people in the hospital because Lash was on General Hospital. Oh.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And then when they went to the restaurant, the hostess was like, I've got a party of five for. For ugly. Party of Five.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was very excited to see Scott Wolfe. I feel like we didn't get enough of his dimples in this movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Got to get those dimples.

[June Diane Raphael]

Where were they?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And where was his bare butt, by the way?

[Paul Scheer]

I have to say, this is a movie where a lot happens, but I can't tell you anything about any of these characters. And I think Scott Wolfe is a dick. Like in this character in this movie. Like, he's not likable. Like, he does, like, dirty punches in the beginning. Like, he's an asshole. He cheats. It's like there's nothing sympathetic. I want to root for him. I'm like, you're a dick. Like, one of his main complaints is, like, you're always planning. Okay, if that's the biggest D dig. Like, in this post apocalyptic world, you always make plans like, we have to have enough food. We don't have money. We shouldn't wreck the car.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think I. I don't have a. I can't, like, make a good reading about Scott Wolf. I loved him so much in Party five. Yes. That I just. Yeah. That. I just was very happy to see him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Come on. You never saw Party of Five?

[Paul Scheer]

Never saw it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, my God. So good.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't go in for that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Here we go. Pilot Episode of Party of Five. Let's do it. Turn the lights down. We're all just gonna watch it.

[June Diane Raphael]

So I want to say something about Alyssa Milano's hair.

[Paul Scheer]

The daughter hair or the blonde highlighted hair?

[June Diane Raphael]

This blonde hair. So it's so tough because she's such a beautiful woman. This hairdo will not look good on anyone. Not a single person. There's no way for it to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I could pull it off.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason, that is like a Swedish pop star's hair.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Robin can do this, right?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Robin can do this. Or I believe this might be the haircut that the woman from Diane toward still has.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's just so confusing because there's no shape to those bangs. Like, some are very long, some are very short. It really upset me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, it's interesting because what I couldn't figure out in the movie is I understand her bleached out short kind of punk rock haircut is essentially. Does, in a way, make sense to me in a. If the movie is a post apocalyptic true wasteland, escape from LA Johnny Mnemonic style. But it's not. She is also meant to be a normal suburban daughter who's got a cop as a dad and has to go.

[Paul Scheer]

To school or do whatever her brother's on. VR roller coasters. The only thing that really saw the future in this film, like there's like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That juxtaposition then doesn't really make sense to me. Then I don't understand.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, this movie can't get a handle on what the power cord does. Like on a. Just on a day to day.

[Paul Scheer]

Do they restore big.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think it's breakdancing.

[Paul Scheer]

No, they restore power to the city.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To the core, maybe.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, because there's a lot of blackouts.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes, There's a lot of getting somewhere.

[Paul Scheer]

I think that they make those kids pedal bicycles. There are a lot of blackouts. And the dad says at one point, oh, that power core. They're responsible for the blackouts. And she goes, no, dad, the Power Corps makes the power. Or some rough version of that language.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, let me understand this. This is what I'm going to conjecture. Alyssa Milano has all of New Angeles's orphaned children or lost children who she is using as slave labor in order to power the city electrically.

[Paul Scheer]

I wouldn't dispute that. And we'll get out to the audience. She.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She's the villain of the movie. If that's the case, we gotta free these kids from the Power Corps.

[Paul Scheer]

Can anyone. Can anyone speak to that? Can anyone tell us if we're right or wrong? Wrong. Hold on. You'll go over and find out. Ma', am. You better have a concise answer. I'm coming to you right now.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just quickly, Paul, before you go to her. She is the one who saves the day at the end of the movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Power Corn. Yes. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Because what's the space.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because Robert Patrick doesn't like the lights is what. And I had. That's one of the things that I had missed.

[June Diane Raphael]

I really missed that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I had missed that. That would. That if he is that if he's wear sunglasses too much light, his magic doesn't work. Like, here's the thing. He's got the two medallions. Doesn't that. Isn't that in this movie, the equivalent of the Infinity Stones? Hasn't he now assembled like all of the Hallows? Can't he conquer death now? Like he's put the two together? That's like having the Resurrection Stone, the Elder Wand and the cave.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I think that's one of the problems with the movie.

[Paul Scheer]

But I would argue that light just made him drop it. Right. Light made him drop the thing and then they were on the ground and then that was it. It was over.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, I didn't understand. Just shining bright light on him, made the medallion fall off of the.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think what you're also right about is when the medallions came together for that double dragon moment, the only thing that really happened was they got suits.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. When Robert Patrick has but one half of the medallion, he can turn into the smoke monster from Lost. He can. He can. He can possess other people. Right. With the exception of Scott Foley, who he can't possess because he's got the other half of the Scott Wolf. Scott Wolf. Sorry, sorry.

[Paul Scheer]

He also can. To be fair, he also can't possess Scott Foley either.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Because he just is such a big.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Fan of Felicity, to me, are of the same. They are in the same. Okay, got it. Anyway, so he. He can't. Anyway, so he can do all of this crazy with one half. Right. When he is. When he combines both. When Robert Patrick combines both. Not Robert Patrick.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Combines both halves of the medallions. All that happens is he turns into two guys with swords. That's it. They don't have magic powers. They're just two guys with swords.

[Paul Scheer]

But how cool would it have been if they had enough money to make two Robert Patrick's of swords?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Was that an option?

[Paul Scheer]

I feel like that's what we should have done. But let me see what the Power Corps does. What do you think the Power Corps Corps does?

[June Diane Raphael]

So the Power Corps are like the vigilante anti gangs. They basically fight the gangs and try to restore safety to the city, which is why the gangs all looked scared when they showed up. Also, the police seem to think kind of Allah, Batman, that the Power Corps are terrorists shooting down planes. But really they're only shooting down planes full of drugs. At least that's what Alyssa Milano says.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow, they're shooting down planes. Thank you, ma'. Am.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Did not.

[June Diane Raphael]

Weird thing about it. Here's the very strange thing about the Power Corps. It. They seem, when you go into their lair, it seems very bright and colorful. Like, it seems like a camp, like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Full of arcade games.

[Paul Scheer]

But that's what this one.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why would the police ever have the idea that they're terrorists?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But Power Core's HQ seemed like a rec center. Yeah, not from Breakin' from Electric Boogaloo, the one where they're trying to save the rec center. And what I couldn't figure out is, why are they a threat at all? This seems to be kids at play.

[June Diane Raphael]

But this is daycare. This is Gymboree.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is. Yes. Boy, would it have been great if it was like that, that Gymboree. And it was just a bunch of, like, little kids.

[Paul Scheer]

This is the problem of making a point, a post apocalyptic film for kids, because they keep on mixing and matching things. Like, yes, it's so brightly colored and there's video games and people are eating pancakes for dinner and popcorn for dinner. And it's gross to feed someone spinach. Cause spinach is gross. You know, but then, like, you have a guy smoking, like, the bad guy. Like, you have, like, some adult themed shit going on with some really Pee Wee Playhouse kind of shit going on there too. It's. It's a bizarre, bizarre film. And I know that a lot of the kids did, like the Huey Lewis in the news reference the henchmen Huey and Lewis in what's the News.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not for nothing. If this is aimed at kids like, they kill. If it's aimed at kids kill Satori, like, boom, she's done.

[Paul Scheer]

So I thought for sure she was gonna come back.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of course I thought she was gonna come back, because it seemed like she was the truth keeper of the Double Dragon legacy or history or whatever. The fact that she's just, like, wiped out so these two dildos can run around and Satori. What is going on?

[Paul Scheer]

And Satori looked to be their same age, yet she was their guardian.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, yes. And.

[Paul Scheer]

And why not make Satori an older woman? Like, who brought them in? No, she's like, you're. You're 18. I'm 19. I adopted you. I guess the rules work differently. There was a moment that I loved. I pointed it out to June. We were watching because we were sharing AirPods. We both had one AirPod watching this movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Or as June calls them, air buds. June called them air buds the other night. And I have thought about it a lot. Just the idea of putting two golden retrievers in your ears that are like. That are chasing tiny basketballs. If the air. If the thing. I will design these. It is the basketball, is the thing you put into your ear. What hangs outside of your ear is the golden retriever.

[Paul Scheer]

So it's a perfect.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a perfect product. Philly, please help me get this to market. Sharks, I need your help.

[June Diane Raphael]

Can we pull up a picture of her pants?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We gotta talk about. Guys, we got to talk about these pants.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay? I'm gonna say one thing right now about them before you even pull up this photo. I thought they were jeans at the beginning of the movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. I thought they were shorts.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I thought they were shorts by the end.

[June Diane Raphael]

I thought that they were chaps. Span. Yeah. Like, spandex on top and then jeans on bottom. Just pull up a phone.

[Paul Scheer]

Hold on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm curious. Is there anybody in the audience who did not notice Alyssa Milano's pants?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, by the way. All right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Everybody did good.

[Paul Scheer]

There is a. There is a moment in this movie. I wrote down these guys like ass because.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, when they're going into the tube.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, it's a kids movie. I. June, you said so confidently. Like, pull up a picture of those pants. I don't know if I have. I don't know if I have them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I feel like we're in. We're getting into, like, we're in the zone.

[Paul Scheer]

We're getting into the. Right. When they climb through the tunnel. Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

There we go. There we go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

All right.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay. So wait. So wait. So wait.

[Paul Scheer]

So wait.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. Oh, okay. Now. Now. Now we can get to work now.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now we can get to work.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Does anybody have a laser pointer? We need a laser pointer.

[June Diane Raphael]

So right now, those look like jeans.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Shorts.

[June Diane Raphael]

No. Jason, those look like jeans. Look like one pair of jeans. Looks like jeans that looks like one pair of jean that's been jeans that's been cut into.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, yes, the legs have both been cut off except for tiny strips connecting each. Like. Like garter belts of jeans. I would say denim garter belts connect the bottom to the top.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. Like so basically, from the knee down is Jean.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

From. From. From, like, just from. It's like. It's like a thigh high boot made of denim.

[Paul Scheer]

But she is also wearing shoes.

[June Diane Raphael]

She is wearing shoes. This is what's so weird about this shot is I actually. I'm very excited to see this from behind.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You are seeing it from behind.

[June Diane Raphael]

I know, and I'm excited to see it from behind because. Okay, okay, wait a second. Pause. What?

[Paul Scheer]

Wait.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, time out, Time out. There are bicycle shorts underneath.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, so bicycle shorts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So keep in mind there is full skin in between the lower leg and the butt, even though those are still part of, I believe, the same item of clothing.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, no, wait. I just. Something just occurred to me. I think that her gloves are made out of the jeans. The jeans.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait, well, I think you're gonna have to do the. For the movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Type in double the movie, Paul.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Alyssa Milano pants.

[Paul Scheer]

I was typing it in quickly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You think Google's like, I know exactly the way you talking about, buddy. No, of course. It's just Alyssa Milano wearing pants. Oh, wow. I was hoping if you. If it just you said Alyssa Milano pants and your thing said again.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, so here we go. We got a good picture of her pants.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, that one. Now we're talking. Okay. Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God. It's even crazier than I thought.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thought. This is wild.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's even crazier.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, Somebody is screaming something from over here. That is legitimate, okay? That is part of her camouflage, which is the spray paint allows her to remember people were blended into the wall. But here's the thing. Guess what's not camouflaged? The flesh of her thighs, if you want. You know what our military doesn't do? They don't have camouflage. From here down here up, and then just generous skin.

[Paul Scheer]

But by the way, I like the idea that it's her camouflage, but it should be the whole body. It's not like people are just gonna see her from the waist down.

[June Diane Raphael]

But now I'm thinking.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, you wanna enlarge? You can hit that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, I just want the cursor. I don't need to enlarge it. Okay, so this, this. This is not the same as the bicycle shorts in the back. This is a jean, Garth.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, it is. People are saying it looked.

[June Diane Raphael]

That was gray. And this looks like lace. Wait, okay, hold on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think it is.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, fine. So these are jean garters, too.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's some sort of garter that's connecting the bottom jean to the top jean. I think Can I ask the audience a question? Do you think what's on the bottom of her legs is the same as what's in her crotch region? No. You think those are. It's a pair of shorts and then a garter belt with jean bottoms. What? Fuck you, Philly.

[Paul Scheer]

What?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I agree with the audience.

[Trevor Noah]

Fuck you.

[Paul Scheer]

I agree with the audience 100%. I agree with the audience 100%.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hold on.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, absolutely.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hold on, hold on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hold on.

[Paul Scheer]

I believe that she is wearing jeans and a green tee, and when she goes undercover, she puts on her garters and attaches the spray paint pants. I get you, Philly. I'll eat horseshit with you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I guess so. I guess so. But, like, wow. Why? All right, well, obviously this is for the work she's doing.

[June Diane Raphael]

This is not functional. It just can't be.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Otherwise people would have adopted it. Obviously, students everywhere would be wearing these.

[Paul Scheer]

We are not gonna get to the bottom of this. You don't know what it's like to live in New Angeles in 2007. Okay, so let's go to the audience right now to hear from them. Maybe they have questions besides the pants that we can talk about. And I'm gonna ask you in the audience tonight a question. We hear about Madonna divorcing Tom Arnold. We hear about Jerry Brown being the vice president of the United States in this world. What celebrity do you think might be the president of the United States in this world? All right, your name, your president, and your question. My name is Baz. The president in this world? Yes. Oh, not the president in our world. We know that. That wouldn't be a hard thing. I swear. I'll just take a guess. You could say anything. Still Donald Trump. Okay, great. Perfect. See?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was perfect.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, now your question. Okay, so the quake, I think it had a little bit more impact on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The area than New Angeles than maybe had mentioned, because in that weather forecast.

[Paul Scheer]

I saw a place called La Canada that actually is a place in Los Angeles called La Canada. But go ahead. It is. I am serious. So, okay, we'll move on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You did it, Philly. You did it. First question out of the gate. You did it.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, ma', am, your name, your president, your question.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hi, my name's Mo. President Tony Danza.

[Paul Scheer]

Great. Excellent.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Angela.

[June Diane Raphael]

End of the movie, they get into the car at the very end with Bo. Adobo, whatever his name was, and they think that Scott Wolf is possessing him. So they get in the car with him, but then he's actually in the trunk of the car the entire Time. So my question is, what was he doing in the trunk?

[Paul Scheer]

Great question.

[June Diane Raphael]

And also, does the. Does he have the power to possess bodies at that point?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

So I thought he had.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait, don't they have the power of the double Dragon?

[June Diane Raphael]

So. So once he becomes the double Dragon, those powers are interchangeable. They can both.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They have to combine it in order to both have the power.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, because Robert Patrick going in people's souls, the whole movie, only with.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's because he had the medallion.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can we get these down a little bit? And house lights up a little.

[Paul Scheer]

You're right. Because I thought that was odd because it was all. Yeah, you're right. I think. Why did they assume he was in the other body? They don't even know they just got them. They're like, we got to figure out these medallions a little bit more. I mean, they're rubbing it for a good part of the movie. Your name hides.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why is everybody rub it like it's. What's Aladdin's lantern?

[Paul Scheer]

I don't know. Your name, your president, and your question.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hi, Whitney. I'm so nervous. Hi, my president.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You got this, Wendy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Whitney.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Whitney. You got this, Whitney.

[June Diane Raphael]

Thank you. My president will be Terry Crews.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So you think this is like an idiocracy scenario?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, very much so. And there's two observations I made since you're in John Wick 3, which I love you. You're great. Did you notice the two twins? They always. That whole group with, like, the Heather Locklear clone and everything. They always synchronize their glasses needing gum together. But did you also notice that the restraints that they had. Who's the Asian guy?

[Paul Scheer]

Huey and Lewis?

[June Diane Raphael]

No, the Mark.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, Mark Dacascos.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. He was in restraints. It looked like gimp. Those were the worst restraints I've ever seen. Cause he could easily get out of those.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like gimp for, like, making a friendship bracelet.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. Like the box. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, I was thinking Pulp Fiction.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I remember making friendship bracelets in, like, day camp. Oof. Tough stuff. Nobody wanted them.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, a man in a bloodsport shirt has a question. Sir, Your name, your president. Your question, Ryan. Probably Mel Gibson. Okay, great. And I just wanted to talk about the Easy Cheese engine fuel. Oh, yeah. So at one point, they read the ingredients of Easy Cheese, they throw it in there, and they basically go like a million miles an hour.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So the car. My understanding is the car is run on trash.

[Paul Scheer]

Very much like Back to the Future 2.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, exactly. And so they have to. To put trash in to make the car run. And then they pick up a.

[Paul Scheer]

Like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, an aerosol bottle, and it says, do not combust. They throw it in anyway, and the car goes super fast.

[Paul Scheer]

A scathing indictment on snack food.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You would think, though, that again, that would come back later in the movie. That would be a skill that they learn once in act one, that in act three, they're like, boom, now we know how to go faster in the Dragon Mobile.

[June Diane Raphael]

And that is really the problem with the movie. The only problem with the movie, as far as I see it, is that there's nothing heroic about these two characters. There's nothing. They don't use their smarts. They really don't use their skill. Except for that one awesome move they don't have.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They don't seem really to have a mission at all.

[June Diane Raphael]

They're just sort of along with it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They just are, like, happening. They're kind of. They're almost like a couple of doofuses who keep happening into, like. The movie should be about Alyssa Milano, like, the leader of a. Like the active leader of a rebellion.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's why I was so upset she died early on. I would have loved to have watched her journey.

[Paul Scheer]

Your name, your president, and your question.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My name is Frank.

[Paul Scheer]

My. I think the president of this world is definitely Jerry Springer. Great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And there's a lot of incredible technology in this movie. I'm glad we talked about the trash car. There's the video game rendering thing that.

[Paul Scheer]

The bad guy uses when he loses vision.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I think we have to talk about Gangnet Link up, which is. Yes. The onboard computer in the car. Is that what it is? The onboard computer in the car? Yeah. I thought that was fascinating. Is that. I will ask, is that from the video game?

[Paul Scheer]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Where you get the stats on each person you're gonna fight? That's what I assumed it was because he said, like, this is Bo Adobo. He's a. He's steroids. He can lift 800 pounds. I was like, oh, maybe this is like one of the guys in the game that you fight. And these are his specifics. You know what I'm saying?

[Paul Scheer]

Sir, your name, your president and your question.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My name is Rob, and I think Danny Elk Elfman would be a good president.

[Paul Scheer]

I can only imagine his score weird, but I like it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Danny Elfman from Oingo Boingo. Absolutely. The person who soundtracks all of Tim Burton's movies and the Simpsons. Again, from Oingo Boingo, to be president elect of this world. Rob, you're from Philly.

[Paul Scheer]

All Right. Your question.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So during. When. When they first introduce Adobo. And again, when they're in the chase scene and the whole part where the. He has to activate the game simulation for him to see because there's newspaper in front of him. Was it just me, or was him and his colleague, like, basically jerking each other off? I agree. I wrote that too, because. And they fight over how they're doing it wrong. And the motion was like, you don't use a joystick. You don't do this to a joystick. Right. A joystick doesn't respond to torsion. A joystick is forward, backwards, shoot, shoot, shoot. But they were, like, twisting it at one point.

[Paul Scheer]

Bo.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Adobo is like.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, I'm in. I'm in. As much as the balcony as I can physically get to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right.

[June Diane Raphael]

Be careful up there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Be very careful, Paul.

[June Diane Raphael]

Really careful.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not only keep in mind, not only is this a balcony, it is a balcony in Philly.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, Just keep.

[Paul Scheer]

I am right now in the balcony boxes. You have a question? Okay. Your name? You do or you don't?

[June Diane Raphael]

I do.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. Your name, your president. Your question.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay. I feel like if he said Jerry Springer, that Judge Judy would do a good job as president. My name's Katie. My question is, do you know that the Jack City guys are from Philly?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Really?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They are.

[June Diane Raphael]

They had a. They had a show on Channel 12 called Furniture on the Mend. They're the furniture guys. They are local treasures. And they live half a block from where they filmed a scene in Mannequin 2.

[Paul Scheer]

They're also in Mannequin 2. Not bad. Best balcony question we've ever gotten.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I almost feel like, well done.

[Paul Scheer]

Great job.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I almost feel like we should end the show.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, a woman just started dancing when that was announced.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. People lost their minds. Oh, boy.

[Paul Scheer]

This guy out of his seat. This is not gonna be good. All right, let's see.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This guy.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, wait. It might be great. It might be great.

[June Diane Raphael]

He's holding something, Paul. He's holding a medallion.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What is that?

[Paul Scheer]

A double dragon medallion.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right, sir, he found it. He found the double dragon medallion.

[Paul Scheer]

Sir, your name, your president, your question.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My name's Tony.

[Paul Scheer]

My president would be Rodney Dangerfield. Great. The director of this movie, in addition to directing hundreds of music videos, also directed the Return of Bruno. Wow. Wait. Return of Bruno. That was the album.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's the Bruce Willis album.

[Paul Scheer]

Probably the music video.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The music video for.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

One of the. The Bruce Willis harmonica vanity project, which Bruce Willis tried To convince everybody he was. Is a blues harmonica player, which as.

[Paul Scheer]

A kid was an album I owned. And many years later did I find out that under the Boardwalk was not an original Bruce Willis tune. I loved Bruno.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What?

[Paul Scheer]

I love Bruno. The return of Bruno.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Were you like. Were you like, hey, mom, let me just put on some return of Bruno. Pour you a glass of. Of chardonnay, I some under the Boardwalk, if you know what I mean, Mommy. Smooch, smooch, smooch.

[Paul Scheer]

I really was in first shock that most of those were covers. Secret agent man thought these were all originals.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You thought Bruce Willis wrote a Under the Boardwalk that would make him unquestionably the most talented person in history.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, I saw Blind Dates. I knew Alyssa Milano pants.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why did that man have a double Alyssa Milano pants?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is a T shirt option. It's just the Google search bar. It's the Google search search bar, and it's Alyssa Milano pants.

[June Diane Raphael]

Paul, last question before we move off of Alyssa Milano's pants.

[Paul Scheer]

We're back on it.

[June Diane Raphael]

We're back on it. Just for one second. The character in the video game, what is she wearing?

[Paul Scheer]

All right, Google it up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

In the video game for the nerds. Is Robert Pat character like the boss?

[Paul Scheer]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The big boss? No. What? He's not in the game. Okay, thank you. All right, so is anybody else in the game?

[Paul Scheer]

This is Abobo.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is the game?

[Paul Scheer]

Yep.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

So we'll see the little story.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You might as well have made a movie out of Dig Dog. Make me a dig Dug movie.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, hold on. It's going to start the story. Hold on. All right, we're picking our mode. There's. Okay, there's Alyssa Milano. She's punched in the stomach.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait a minute. Is this the Mohawk gang?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is that Bo Adobo?

[Paul Scheer]

Bo Adobo punches Alyssa Milano in the stomach, takes her.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait, is that Alyssa Milano?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes, Jason, it is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

And she's wearing a little red dress.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Grieger.

[Paul Scheer]

And then that's our guys.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Both of these are our guys?

[Paul Scheer]

Nope, just the blue guy.

[June Diane Raphael]

One in blue.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, can you pause, please, Paul? This is blowing my mind. The fact that this is the game is categorically insane.

[Paul Scheer]

And now here are the two brothers fighting for to the death. The brothers fight.

[June Diane Raphael]

They're brothers.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They are brothers.

[Paul Scheer]

He gets. He gets her out of the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She's on the what?

[Paul Scheer]

And they start kissing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is what? Also, there's a cat.

[June Diane Raphael]

What's that cat doing underneath?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Also, there's a cat.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, she looks very comfortable here's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A couple questions. I have questions. A, there's a cat. B, what's the vest on the hanger? Do you see the vest? What's that waiting for?

[Paul Scheer]

She's relaxed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The cat is really. Why is the cat there? And like, what? He beats his brother to death? Then she's like, you win. I'll fuck you. Let me just put my fuck vest on.

[Paul Scheer]

And by the way, this game has no dialogue. Not even a little bit of dialogue.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait a second. I think I just heard it. It's the red vest, isn't it? It's his brother's vest. Jason.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait a minute. That's a trophy. That vest is a death trophy. That's wild. And you're telling me. You're telling me that blue beats red Mark dacascos wins every day of the week also.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, in that world, they also have no medallion and no power also.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, fine. But Alyssa Milano. So she would have fucked whoever won, and hearts would have come out of her head.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And also doesn't. Why not just figure out a way to live as a throuple? Doesn't double dragon sound like a sexual position where brothers fuck the same woman? Why can't they just double dragon her at the end?

[June Diane Raphael]

Do you guys think. And I'm dead serious. Do you think that that cat is really red Dragon? Yeah, she's watching. There's something about that cat. I'd like you to go back to it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can we look at the cat, please, Paul? I agree with June. The cat is a fucking pervert.

[June Diane Raphael]

Very eerie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The cat's like, okay, I'm watching, but I'm also gonna lick this puss while this is happening, by the way.

[Paul Scheer]

That should be the shirt. Just the cat. But in the cat's eyes, you just see the red dragon. You just see your brother kissing the girl.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, like, that. That is like. The message of that is really wild. That, like, oh, once you beat all of the villains, in order to get the woman, you have to kill your brother and then fuck her while a cat watches.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, you don't have to fuck her while the cat watches. A cat wants it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You gotta watch, because the cat is the actual boss.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I swear to God. Pause for a second. If that cat was on the couch, I wouldn't have thought twice. If that cat was outside of the table, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. If that cat was on that little dresser over there, it would never have occurred to me. There's something about the position of that cat.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Here's what I'm gonna say. And I'm. And I don't want to spend too much time on the game. This is a brick house. There's no way it survives the quake. There's no way the big quake happens. Brick house, boom, you're done. So guess what?

[Paul Scheer]

Every brick house to the ground, it's got structural foundation. We know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't even know what to make of that. This, the gate.

[Paul Scheer]

That.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That is what the movie is. That is. I'm serious when I say, like, a more interesting movie could be made of Joust, the game, where you. Where you sit like a knight on an ostrich's back and fly around jousting people with. Okay, now what? Do they fuck?

[Paul Scheer]

I just wanted to see if this is a better version of it. Nope, Same thing. Just kiss, kiss, kiss.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, I guess now that I see what she looks like in the game, I'm happier about how she looked in the movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Here's what my qu. Yeah, yeah. Here's my question, too, is when they're done. Can we rewind a little bit, Paul? And so here's the thing, right? Rewind a little bit. Okay, so great. Go ahead. Play from here. Okay. So she's like, you did it. And he's like, yes, I killed my brother for you. Right? I killed him dead. He was my brother. Smooch, smooch, smooch. Right? And then they look right at us as if to say, is this what you wanted? Is this. They look right at the player. They look right at the player and say, you did this. You did this. You made a brother kill brother just for the love of this woman. And it isn't even the love of the woman. It just is, like, to the victor, God, the spoils. Does she have agency in this at all?

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

Nope. Didn't even have a say. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we obviously have an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinion.

[June Diane Raphael]

I got home, searched Amazon prime, and I threw on Double Dragon. There's a big earthquake. Juggalos roam the street who Alyssa Milana will fight? There's a medallion these bros gotta keep safe from discount Gary Oldman. Was that their girlfriend or their aunt? I can't tell, but she'll die just to keep them alive. Time for second opinions. Gotta check. Check Amazon. Find out who gave five stars to this shit show. There's bad acting and writing and who costumed this crap. Let's go check Amazon for a sale condominium.

[Paul Scheer]

What's her name?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Give it up for Molly.

[Paul Scheer]

Great job, Molly. Come here. All right, here we go, people. Double Dragon. Second opinions. These are culled from Amazon.com there are 80 reviews for this film.

[June Diane Raphael]

8.

[Paul Scheer]

0. Not many. 58% are five star reviews. 58%. But they're all very personal. This one, written by Alforno, writes, I love this movie. I'm sorry, five stars. And then this one's written by T. Lejour. He goes, love this movie. I was there during some of the filming in Cleveland. I got to meet everyone but Robert Patrick, who's from Cleveland. Five stars. This one's interesting from Guillaume B. Proulx. He writes, excellent. Sorry about the delay of my comment. 5 stars. So if you were waiting on him to finally get around. Yeah, sorry about the delay. I didn't mean to keep waiting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I've been meaning to put this comment up, but my apologies to everybody. I know you've been expecting it.

[Paul Scheer]

This one is interesting. This is from [e-mail] Australia. I love this DVD. You probably think I'm wacko, but I've never seen prequels or sequels or video games. This is my first experience of Double Dragon. For me, it's an hour and 36 minutes of escapism and light entertainment. The props, the lighting, the setting, the costumes are spectacle to watch on an 84 centimeter television. Whoa. Five stars.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Honestly, is that like this big? 84 centimeters. Isn't that very small?

[Paul Scheer]

This one is written by Suleim and he writes, please send me all of the movies of Bruce Lee. I live in San Diego. My address is 9 the point of Coronado Canyon. My zip is 92118. My home number is 691 511-18-4715. Thank you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This person does not know how Amazon works. If they think that's how you order videos on Amazon is you go to the Double Dragon comment section and say, please send me all of Bruce Lee's movies. Here's my address.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason June. Obviously those people love the movie. Would you recommend that people see this film?

[June Diane Raphael]

It's funny. I, of course, did not like the movie, but I didn't struggle through watching it. And that says a lot for me. It really does. So for me, especially considering the fact.

[Paul Scheer]

That before we started, the last thing I want to do is watch a movie called Double Dragon.

[June Diane Raphael]

Right? Yes. And it was. But I saw Alyssa Milano, I saw those pants. I saw some things that I liked. And it was observed absurd. And it was absurd in the way I think that they were intending for young Audiences with the theater backdrop and the absurd props and all of that stuff. And gumballs. I love that trope where people who are fighting in movies, they never just stop and let the gumballs go by. They just continue to run. Can I ask questions? Just stop and let them all find their resting point. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Was there a time imagine when small round balls was a weapon of choice for anybody. You would think in its. How often it's used in movies, that it would be. One of our main tactics for unsettling the enemy is just to loosen.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, that's why. That's why the American troops were able to storm the beaches at Normandy, because the balls just got stuck in the sand.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Really. Yeah, that's true.

[Paul Scheer]

That's true. They were the, the, the. The. The forces were just pouring like big marbles down the hill. It's getting stuff.

[June Diane Raphael]

Paul knows a lot about history, so that probably.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason, what do you think?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah, I would watch this. This is like. This is. Again, I don't remember having watched it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So I don't know. I can't. It's one of those things that is like when you take Ambien and you don't remember that you made a turkey sandwich.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, somehow this movie does that to you. Where I woke up and I was like, how did I get here? What's going on?

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't remember it. I couldn't tell you much about it. It seemed fun. Again, colors, shapes, movement, all that stuff. It's got it in spades, I would say, especially for this project of watching it for the podcast. Absolutely. It's not tedious. It's not awful. It doesn't wear out. Its welcome. It's not. Doesn't feel too long.

[Paul Scheer]

I even have a more full throated recommendation. I think this movie is so fun and so bizarre and so weird. It has every trope of the movies that we watch on this show, but they're all together and it's shorter and less tedious than all those other ones. You got elements of everything in here. It's so weird. No choice really makes sense. And it has this effect where none of us are quite sure what we watched or what the plot was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm not sure.

[Paul Scheer]

And we still enjoyed it. So a full throated recommendation. Double Dragon forever. Make a sequel now?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, like make a sequel. Make a direct sequel that is like, use Mark and Alyssa and Scott now and have them still be. Have it be new.

[Paul Scheer]

It's like, make it in 2009 and then go.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's interesting.

[Paul Scheer]

A big thank you to you, Philadelphia.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You've been. You did it, Philly. An amazing crowd.

[Paul Scheer]

Thank you for having us. One of the best crowds we've had on this tour.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. That's right, get out there. Do it up, Philly.

[Paul Scheer]

All right. Thank you, Philadelphia. You guys were amazing. And we did catch our train and we did get to go home. Let me tell you about the shirt that we designed for this show. It's one of my favorite ones. We didn't talk about it explicitly, but it is what the cat saw. It is an amazing shirt that calls back the Double Dragon game and it's basically the cat watching one of the brothers make love to the Alyssa Milano character from the video game. It's one of our best selling shirts and people hadn't even seen the episode. So definitely head over to teepublic.com stores hdtgm to check that out. A big thanks to Devin, our engineer who is live in Philadelphia and saved us from near doom with those audio issues. My God. Whoa. Rough one. Also, a big tip of the hat to our producer, Avril Halley, who pulled all of those amazing movies for this tour. She's fantastic. You can follow her on movie bitches on YouTube and all the other social media sites. A big tip of the hat to Cody, who is also our producer here in la. And I also want to give a warm and generous thanks to Nate Kiley who does all of our research and Kyle Waldron who does all of our amazing design. We have an amazing team, everybody here at Earwolf. And if you want to continue this conversation about Double Dragon, please give me a call for the mini episode next week. It's 619p a u l a s k. That's 619paul. Ask. You don't have to just ask about the movie. You can talk. Talk about anything you want. We've been getting into fantastic conversations on our mini episodes. Love, relationship, job advice, whatever you want. We will tackle it each and every week on the mini episode. Take a listen in and we will be playing a deleted scene about Alyssa Milano's pants on that episode as well. So tune in for next week's mini episode where we tell you the movie that we are going to talk about the week following that. But we will also get into your comments, concerns and questions all about Double Dragon. We will see you next time on how did this get made?

[Trevor Noah]

Hey, what's going on over there? It's me, Trevor Noah. You know me. You don't know me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, you do.

[Trevor Noah]

I was worried there for a second. Well, if you know anything about me, you'll know I love having interesting conversations. Conversations where we scratch beneath the surface, like what's really going on in the news? Or what is that celebrity really thinking about that scandal that they had? Or what's the worst way to be a parent? I mean, you want to find that out so you can be the best parent, right? Well, regardless of what it is, this podcast is all about figuring that out, talking to interesting people who have interesting ideas that give us an interesting perspective on the world that we are living in. So check out what now with Trevor Noah, available wherever you get your podcasts.

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