Double Team w/ Owen Burke (Classic)

Summary

---

How Did This Get Made? – "Double Team" w/ Owen Burke (Classic)

Podcast: How Did This Get Made?
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guest: Owen Burke
Episode: Double Team (Classic)
Release Date: June 30, 2026

---

Episode Overview

The HDTGM crew, joined by comedian/actor Owen Burke, takes on the 1997 over-the-top Jean-Claude Van Damme–Dennis Rodman action extravaganza Double Team, co-starring Mickey Rourke. As always, the team dissects the plot’s absurdities, questionable casting, wild action set pieces, ADR overload, tigers in the Coliseum, and Dennis Rodman’s inexplicable basketball references—all with hilarious, fever-induced energy. This episode is a celebration of just how gloriously misguided and entertaining a “bad” movie can be.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Everyone’s Sick, But Energized by "Double Team"

• The episode starts with both June and Jason admitting they have low fevers but are ready to dig into the movie's madness.

  “I have a low fever. A little bit of a sweats going on, so I don't feel great.” —Jason (02:01)

  “Right before this I took some Robitussin.” —June (02:18)

• Owen jokes about getting sick as their guest, adding to the panel’s punchy vibe.

  “I can't wait because I'm getting on a plane tomorrow.” —Owen (03:19)

2. Van Damme As “Jack Quinn” and the American Problem

• The hosts riff on how Van Damme’s casting as all-American “Jack Quinn” makes zero sense, just as it didn’t in Street Fighter.

  “Are we to believe he is an American? Is nobody gonna speak up against this?” —Jason (04:17)

• June points out the mismatch between actor and character:

  “Once you know your actor’s Van Damme, why not just adjust it as Petra or something, you know? What does Jack Quinn give us?” —June (04:28)

3. Plot Confusion from the Start

• They break down the muddled cold open involving a truck of plutonium, unclear stakes, and confusing time jumps.

  “He just sort of drives into a forest … as though no one's ever gonna notice. This giant truck of plutonium.” —June (07:01) “My only knowledge of plutonium comes from Back to the Future...” —Paul (07:07)

• The hosts lose track of the story immediately:

  “It's minute two, and I'm already confounded...” —Jason (05:30)

4. The Movie’s Structure and Dubious Stakes

• The “last mission before retirement” trope is shoehorned into the first act; the team wonders why he even has to be retired.

  “All he needs to be is a secret agent with a pregnant wife. Start the movie there and have this guy.” —Paul (09:13) “There's no sense that he's struggling with being back in the game...” —June (09:22)

• The due-date timeline is suspect; they joke about plotting childbirth like a mission.

  “It’s a pretty flawed, like, plot device that they're... That's the timeline we're working on when most women do not give birth on their due dates.” —June (10:12)

5. Dialogue and ADR Nightmares

• The panel fixates on the insultingly sloppy ADR, especially for Dennis Rodman.

  “You could watch the whole first scene, you're just like, this is all ADR… it's almost like he's Charlie MacArthur in Chester.” —Owen (05:46) “Most of the dialogue is done in ADR. Even when you see their mouths moving, it's all dubbed.” —Owen (69:14) “The overtime that these guys got. They got that boat they always wanted. All from the ADR of this movie.” —Owen (69:32)

6. Dennis Rodman: Basketball Jokes, Banter, and “Yaz”

• Rodman’s debut as “Yaz” is introduced with debate over his acting, style, and the movie’s borderline homophobic banter.

  “Who does your hair? Sigfit. Or Roy, the last guy made fun of my hair is still trying to pull his hair out of his ass.” —Rodman as Yaz (17:01) “So that's just a homophobic remark.” —June (18:14)

• Jason on Rodman’s performance:

  “For what he had to do in this film, I thought he did a fine job.” —June (18:47)

• They are mystified why an arms dealer talks only in basketball references.

  “It's so weird because he's not a basketball player, he's a basketball player who's playing an arms dealer. So why would this guy love basketball references?” —Owen (48:21) “Oops. Air ball. You need practice, man. I hate practice.” —Yaz (48:46) “It’s all, like, inside jokes about him not going to practice.” —Paul (48:58)

7. Set Pieces: Amusement Park Shootouts & Animal Mayhem

• The hosts are blown away by action scenes featuring civilians mowed down, the inexplicable number of female backshot victims, and wild animals.

  “Mayhem explodes… Wedding patrons are just being mowed down by machine gun fire.” —Jason (16:11) “A lot of women die from gunshot wounds to the back.” —June (16:22)

• The tiger scene and “tiger as snitch” moment is legendary:

  “The tiger tips him off. The tiger is a wild animal in a cage that's like, hey, bro, look up there.” —Jason (29:56) “When the tiger tipped off Mickey Rourke as to the location of Van Damme, that's when I was like, this movie is on a whole other level.” —Jason (65:01)

8. The Colony: Spies’ Retirement Prison

• Van Damme is sent to “the Colony,” a bizarre, sunlit, Mediterranean island for ex-spies.

  “It was like an Oakwood apartment for ex-spies… a Tommy Bahama commercial. They're all just, like, chilling.” —Paul/Owen (39:00)

• The logic of the Colony’s existence, guardians, and escape makes little sense.

  “Why does the Colony take these guys at certain points? Like, why did they take Jack Quinn?” —June (34:37) “By the way, there are no lady spies. It's all... it's like a real sausage fest on this island.” —June (36:01)

9. Over-the-Top Action and Logic Gaps

• Escape sequences, odd gadgets (Coke machines, basketball parachute), and recurring grenades with vastly inconsistent power.

  “There are no fewer than 15 grenades thrown in this movie, and depending on the location, they either make a very small explosion or a Hiroshima level explosion.” —Jason (52:02) “Can we talk about when Jean Claude Van Damme goes undercover as, like, Jean, when he goes, like, he dresses like Robert Stone. That was amazing.” —Owen (52:22)

• The final act’s madness: the tiger, the minefield in the Coliseum, and surviving an explosion by hiding behind Coke machines.

  “When the Colosseum is exploding... Dennis Rodman and Jean Claude Van Damme are all saved by a Coke machine.” —Paul (63:50) “It's the original nuking the fridge.” —Owen (63:54)

10. Mickey Rourke’s Villainy & Oscar Moment

• The panel admires and mocks Rourke’s performance, especially during his dramatic “tiger and mine” monologue.

  “If you live today, you'll get to know your son. And if you don't, I'll raise him as my own. You know, men are strong, Jack, but the tiger is stronger.” —Mickey Rourke as Stavros (65:15-65:35) “That's basically his Oscar moment in many respects.” —Paul (65:35)

11. Second Opinions: Five-Star Amazon Reviews

• Paul closes the episode reading bizarre five-star user reviews for Double Team.

  “I give it a six out of five. The first time we’ve had a six out of Five!” —Paul (67:11) “Yes, it was very nice and cool, but my parents have a small house in the country. My dog has never seen two English and I like videos and music. See you on Monday. Yours sincerely, John Romanski.” —Paul (68:08-68:39)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Van Damme’s accent:
  “Are we to believe he is an American? Is nobody gonna speak up against this?” —Jason (04:17)

• On the truck of plutonium:
  “My only knowledge of plutonium comes from Back to the Future.” —Paul (07:07)

• On Dennis Rodman’s performance:
  “For what he had to do in this film, I thought he did a fine job.” —June (18:47)

• On action insanity:
  “Mayhem explodes... Wedding patrons are just being mowed down by machine gun fire.” —Jason (16:11)

• On the ADR domination:
  “Most of the dialogue is done in ADR... These guys put their kids through college... All from the ADR of this movie.” —Owen (69:14-69:32)

• On Rodman’s basketball references:
  “Oops. Air ball. You need practice, man. I hate practice.” —Yaz (Dennis Rodman) (48:46)

• On tiger tip-off:
  “The tiger tips him off. The tiger is a wild animal in a cage that's like, hey, bro, look up there.” —Jason (29:56)

• On survival with Coke machine:
  “They hide behind a Coke machine... It's the original nuking the fridge.” —Paul/Owen (63:50-63:54)

• On women being shot:
  “A lot of women die from gunshot wounds to the back.” —June (16:22)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Fever admissions/jokes: 02:00–03:30
• Van Damme as a questionable American: 04:00–05:00
• ADR and dialogue observations: 05:40–06:30, 69:10–69:32
• Antwerp/Plutonium scene confusion: 04:50–07:20
• Dennis Rodman’s first scenes and banter: 16:46–18:47
• Amusement park shootout: 15:20–16:46
• ADR and technical oddities: 24:27–25:54
• Colony/Pensioner spa for spies: 32:00–37:00
• Basketball parachute/References: 48:21–49:02
• Tiger as spy, tiger fight, minefield finale: 29:54, 60:40–61:17
• Saved by Coke machine: 63:50–63:54
• Second Opinions (Amazon reviews): 67:11–68:39
• Wrap-up and recommendations: 69:48–70:15

---

Conclusion & Recommendations

Consensus: Every co-host recommends watching Double Team for its sheer gonzo entertainment value. The hosts agree it's a fever dream of illogical plotlines, wild action, astonishing ADR, and unintentional comedy. Rodman is both terrible and perfect. Mickey Rourke’s tiger/minefield villain plan is next-level. See it with friends for maximum enjoyment.

“You are in for the ride.” —Paul (70:06)
“It's awesome.” —Owen (69:48)
“It's very wild, watchable and enjoyable.” —June (69:49)

---

For Fans Who Haven’t Watched

This episode’s breakdown makes clear: Double Team is a cinematic oddity you’ll want to experience with snacks, friends, and a high tolerance for logic gaps. If you ever wondered what happens when you cast a Belgian martial artist as an American, a basketball star as a Euro arms dealer, and throw in tigers, babies, mines, and a Coke machine, this is your answer.

---

Guest note: Check out Owen Burke’s own podcast, "Owen & T.J. Read the News" on Earwolf.

---

Transcript

[A]

Geico presents a 30 second podcast between your podcast, today's story is shared by one of our listeners. It's called Betrayed by a Bill. It was in that moment I caught who was staring back at me in betrayal or more like what, my insurance bill. With trembling hands, I grabbed my phone and switched to geico, saving about $900 in the process and never to be betrayed again. Now that was bloody riveting.

[B]

It feels good when the story ends with savings. It feels good To Geico, Abercrombie's active brand, your personal best is built to

[A]

keep up with your summer in motion. The latest YPB drop has active tees and tanks made with a performance cotton

[B]

blend that's soft, breathable and moisture wicking.

[A]

The perfect choice for warm weather workouts and for leg day or long runs. The Motion tech shorts have you covered this summer. Add YPB by Abercrombie into your workout rotation. Shop in the app, online and in stores.

[C]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with

[B]

a message for everyone Paying Big Wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good

[C]

in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments.

[A]

But that's weird.

[B]

Okay, one judgment Anyway, give it a

[A]

[e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for

[D]

3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[B]

See full [e-mail] Ooh, Dennis Rodman makes his acting debut. We saw Double Team so you know what that means.

[A]

Now it's time for. Mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question how did this get made?

[B]

Hello people of Earth and welcome to how did this get Made? I am Paul Scheard. Let me introduce my co host Jason Manzoukas. How are you Jason?

[C]

Well Paul, I have a low fever.

[B]

A low fever.

[C]

A little bit of a sweats going on so I don't feel great.

[B]

Well, I'm gonna tell you, you're gonna really enjoy your co host today because she also has a low fever. Please welcome June Diane Rayfield.

[C]

Hi Paul, how are you?

[B]

How are you feeling?

[D]

I'm good. Right before this I took some Robitussin.

[B]

I was in the car with you. I saw it all happen.

[D]

Owen, are you upset? I'm sorry.

[B]

Wait, don't reveal our special guest.

[D]

I know I gave him a big hug and I don't want him to think that I'm Contagious?

[A]

No, I caught the fever.

[C]

I'm going to take my temperature on the air.

[B]

Jason is now put. Can we get a picture of this?

[D]

I don't have a fever, though.

[A]

I caught the fever. The double team. Oh, should I say that I caught the fever of. How did this get made?

[B]

The temperature chart has gone off. If you're wondering who's talking. Oh, let's see.

[C]

99.1.

[B]

91. Not temperature.

[A]

That's not real.

[C]

I mean, it's barely a fever. But I feel.

[A]

You can go to school.

[C]

I feel shitty. I feel like really like, brrr.

[B]

Well, just to.

[C]

But you're right. That's barely a fever.

[B]

Barely a fever. Nothing to complain about. And to introduce our special guest, who you've already heard, please welcome Owen Burke. You know him from the amazing Earwolf podcast. Owen and tj, read the news. Welcome, Owen.

[A]

Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. I'm a huge fan of the show and of movies in general.

[B]

And are you excited about getting sick from these two people that you're sitting in between?

[A]

I can't wait because I'm getting on a plane tomorrow.

[C]

Where are you going?

[A]

I'm going to San Francisco.

[C]

With me with Paul Scheer Sketch Fest.

[B]

Ye.

[A]

We call it Frisco until. I just keep calling it Frisco until someone pushes me down a flight of stairs.

[B]

Well, normally I would be nervous when two of the people on this show have a low grade fever, not feeling well. But I honestly believe this is one of the best movies that we have ever done.

[C]

It is. I was blown. This movie was mind boggling. Everything about it. I couldn't figure out what was going on. It was.

[A]

At first I thought it was like a video to learn a new language or something. It was like how to teach English people from the, you know, the Eastern Bloc or something. It's like.

[D]

Well, that's true. Because it's also like, in what world is Van Damme's name Jack Quinn?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Like in what universe?

[C]

Well, this is the same problem we had when he was in Street Fighter. Yes, right.

[B]

Which is he was very American.

[C]

Are we to believe he is an American? Is nobody gonna speak up against this? The same thing that they do with

[B]

Schwarzenegger, like, he's the sheriff of a small town in Mexico. It's.

[D]

No, but I guess I feel like with the names and stuff once, once you know, your actors, Van Damme, like, why not just adjust it as Petra

[A]

or something, you know?

[D]

Yeah. What does Jack Quinn give us?

[B]

Well, any.

[A]

Because they say his name once, like, right at the top, and they're like, jack Quinn's going in and he's got to get this plutonium. And then in 14 hours, and then he gets to retire.

[C]

Well, this is my whole problem with the cold open, even remotely.

[B]

Well, here's my thought. Like, they. I think what they thought was the movie originally started out with Jean Claude Van Damme by the pool with his wife. And then he gets caught up in this thing. But that's like 30 minutes until the first action scene. So, like, oh, shit, we need to tack on a James Bond thing. Because literally the movie opens with like, this is his last mission. And then after that, it's like, hey, why don't you come back for your last mission? It's like, there's two.

[C]

Couldn't make heads or tails of that. He steals a cool truck with, I guess, plutonium in it. Is that the deal?

[B]

Well, he's stealing it from Stark.

[C]

But I couldn't tell anything that was going on. I didn't know who was who. They were talking about names and I couldn't tell who was the names. And I literally wrote. I was like, it's minute two, and I'm already confounded because they also are doing it.

[B]

It seems like all post, like, all adr.

[A]

The ADR budget on this was insane. I actually, like, when I was watching, I'm like, you could watch the whole first scene, you're just like, this is all adr. And then it's like anything that comes out of Rodman's mouth is all adr. Like you could. There's shots of him point blank where his lips aren't moving. And it's like, we gotta get out of here. And it's just like. It's almost like he's Charlie MacArthur in Chester. So, like, he's a ventriloquist. It's like. And sometimes I think Jean Claude Van Damme is doing the lines for him. It's like, jean, while you're here, why don't you just do Dennis lines? He hasn't shown up. Just do them. Cause they're like. They're imperceptible.

[D]

Well, my favorite part, and I will say I did enjoy the movie quite a bit.

[C]

Sure, yeah, I loved it.

[D]

Really wonderful. But the best part of the cold open is in the end, when he drives, he sort of, I guess, gets away. From what? I don't really know. I don't know what the stakes.

[A]

I didn't know what was happening.

[B]

Well, he's stealing that truck.

[D]

Okay. So he's stealing the truck with the plutonium in it.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Which, of course, you smash through walls and through people when you have the plutonium.

[B]

That was my biggest concern. Like, that truck is brutalized at any point. That could just be a gigantic drop

[C]

off of a cliff.

[D]

He drives off of a cliff, he

[C]

drives it down a cliff.

[D]

And when he finally is, like, out of danger's way, he just sort of drives into a forest or a street as though no one's ever gonna notice.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

This giant truck of plutonium.

[D]

Had never seen a truck so big. I mean, it was the most unusual machine.

[B]

My only knowledge of plutonium comes from Back to the Future. And it seems like you must carry those things in very specific ways and in some sort of a case.

[C]

No, it seemed very irresponsible what he was doing.

[B]

And why was there. So can you even have that much plutonium?

[C]

Well, what I was wondering, too, was at the beginning, when he steals the truck, the truck has, like, a hitch on the back and there's more truck.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And then that gets lost along the way. And I was like, isn't that where the plutonium is?

[A]

He doesn't care. He just has to get out of there. It's like, yeah, there's the plutonium. I'm just gonna drive.

[B]

And so then we just cut to three years later.

[C]

Three years later. Three years south of France.

[A]

Well, this is what I love. I love this house in the south of France. Cause it was on this, like, cliff peninsula, this beautiful castle with a pool. And then a guy climbs up the cliff, and he's like, how did you find me? Maybe because you're in the most exposed house in Europe.

[C]

The other thing that I thought was hilarious is it's supposed to be, like, this remote location where nobody can find him. And there is a train that is going on right behind the house. A train, a large train goes right by them.

[D]

They live by the tracks.

[C]

They live by the train.

[D]

Here's the weird thing. I thought that must come back.

[C]

Nope.

[D]

Because otherwise, why would they ever just shoot it with the train there? Like, why?

[C]

Fantastic question.

[D]

It never comes back.

[C]

Or why not wait to get the shot when the train isn't there? The light is perfect.

[B]

The light.

[C]

That's it. I was like, the train can't be there all the time. The train just happened to pass in that shot. You take. Do another take.

[B]

Nope. No, John Claude works for the train.

[C]

Nobody will notice the train.

[A]

I really think that this was all tied into some sort of perillo or some sort Of European tour company. It was like, we've got. We can go to Rome. We can go to all these locations. It's all set up, and you have to write the movie around these locations.

[B]

There's so much, again, in this movie that is so kind of shoehorned in, where you could have simplified this entire. This whole movie could be so simplified. He doesn't have to be retired.

[C]

Nope.

[B]

That doesn't come into play really that much at all. All he needs to be is a secret agent with a pregnant wife. That's it. Start the movie there and have this guy.

[D]

Because there's no sense in the rest of the movie that he's struggling with being back in the game or not at all.

[C]

He loves it instantly.

[A]

The only thing he's struggling with is dialogue. That's the only thing he's struggling with.

[B]

Well, he immediately accepts the mission. The last. Last.

[C]

The second last. His wife is pregnant, by the way,

[B]

ready to give birth and.

[D]

Well, by the way, I had a problem with that. There's a huge plot point that, you know, he's sort of racing to get back by her due date.

[A]

36 hours.

[B]

Yes, that was. That's the only thing. He's gonna give birth.

[D]

But how does he know? I mean, look, it's very rare that you actually give birth.

[C]

Does the movie take place in 36 hours?

[B]

It never does.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, but the colony doesn't have the same thing.

[B]

No, no, Like. No, that's what he said. He'll be back in 36 hours.

[C]

Oh, I'm sorry. Got it, got it, got it. Okay. Sorry.

[D]

He's back in 36 hours. No, but I was gonna say it's. It's a pretty flawed, like, plot device that they're. That's the timeline we're working on when most women do not give birth on their due dates.

[A]

Yeah. No weddings I've missed because of my baby's birth. I've missed every wedding just because it's like, oh, she's gonna give birth that day. No, it's two weeks later. And I miss fun weddings.

[B]

It's not. I don't even think it's like, she's

[C]

gonna get a real life regret. Yeah.

[A]

I miss a lot of open bars, you know, and after parties.

[B]

I don't think she was giving birth in 36 hours. I think he was saying to her, I'll be back. It not like Schwarzenegger, but he's like,

[C]

although Dennis Rodman does do an I'll be back. That is like Schwarzenegger later in the movie.

[D]

Later on in the movie, he talks about what day is it? And he writes the birth date. And.

[B]

But I mean, if. Then if she's giving birth in 36 hours. This movie spans quite a long period of time. She doesn't give birth until, like, the third act, which is nonsense.

[C]

No, I think she. Because she also doesn't look. She only looks a little pregnant.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think she's promising her 36 hours.

[C]

I think he's saying that's all it's going to take to clean this mess up.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then I'll be back. Don't worry.

[D]

So when he. When he's in the colony and he writes that butterfly in the calendar. But what is that date?

[C]

Remember, that's multiple pages of months he's tacked up.

[B]

Like, that's nine months.

[C]

You know, it's.

[A]

I don't know. It's a due date that he's writing in advance that he's got to get out by then.

[D]

But eventually she does give birth on her due date.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yes. But that's months later. It's not 36 hours later.

[A]

She had it scheduled. They were gonna endure.

[D]

I'm just saying the stakes seem to be that she. That this birth is gonna happen right on that day.

[B]

I think that there's a little bit of an issue. All right, so you're just saying that you don't like that the whole movie is driving doors.

[D]

I'm looking for this one day. That's really kind of arbitrary.

[B]

I think the movie has a little bit bigger problems.

[C]

I think the biggest. No, no. I think what's driving him isn't to get out of the colony for the baby's birth. It's because Mickey Rourke sends him the message. I have your butterfly.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, no, it is she. You know, because she is. She's an artist and she makes big steel sculptures and all of this.

[B]

Wonderful artist.

[A]

And, you know, it's like he loved this giraffe or a camel, whatever it was.

[C]

It's a swan.

[A]

A swan. And he really loved it.

[C]

Your swan is beautiful. You are beautiful.

[A]

He loved it. He loved it. And then since he's been gone missing. Cause he goes missing in the middle of the movie. She's like, yeah, I'll sell that. You know, she doesn't have any connection to it. Like, there's no nostalgia for her. She's like, yeah, I'll sell that to you. Whatever. I'll meet you in Rome. I'll sell the thing my missing husband loved.

[B]

Well, here's the thing. Even, like, before we even get to the fact that he messes up this mission because. So he goes to, like, Antwerp to, you know, kind of.

[C]

I love how they go crazy. To show you how weird Antwerp is, There's, like, scuba diving. Go, Go, girl.

[B]

He's watching a scuba diver. Go, go, D. Then he's reflecting on his wife, which I thought was really odd. It's like he's going to a strip club just looking at his stripper, going like, ah.

[A]

I do that all the time. I go to strip clubs on my anniversary.

[D]

That's so weird.

[C]

When the guy comes to tell him, hey, you gotta come back. You gotta do one more mission. You gotta get Starvros. You're the only guy that knows him. And he's like, okay, I'll do it. And then that guy goes back. The company man, whenever he goes back and he gets in his car and Stavros is in the car waiting for him and says. He says, I left a little something for you in the back. As he exits the car, and it's a bomb. And the guy starts to freak out and then locks himself in the car.

[A]

Yeah, locks himself in the car.

[C]

He locks himself in the car.

[B]

It's a panic. It's a panic in the car.

[C]

How could Stavros have counted on that?

[A]

The guy could have.

[C]

If the guy wasn't a dummy, he could have just easily gotten away.

[B]

He's a grade A klutz. He knew it.

[C]

Now they show him his elbow accidentally pushing down the lock of the car.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

[D]

No, I was. If I'm. I may be mistaken, but I thought the Bomb City had 60 seconds to get out of there. That's a lot of time.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And you know what happens? It goes off in, like, 13 seconds. Yeah, it's like 59, 58, 1. Boom.

[D]

Here's the question. Why did Stavros set that all up? Like, I didn't understand what he was setting up.

[A]

He wanted to get Van Damme back in the game. He used this guy to get him, and then he blows up the guy because the guy doesn't have power locks. And so he knew that this guy drove, like, a Honda Civic Value.

[C]

Oh, wait a minute. I have a question about that, then. So did Stavros hire that guy to get. To motivate Van Damme back in the game?

[D]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

Stavros is orchestrating this whole thing. Stavros is like, I need to show my face to get Van Damme back in the game because I need to get my revenge on Van Damme. For stealing my giant vat of plutonium. And so he just knows this is going on. So I think he. I think that. That killing the government agent is sort of like what Stavros does. It's neither he nor.

[C]

Okay, the guy wasn't working for Stavros

[B]

because he was like. I hate. He was, like, upset.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, so the plan to kill Stavros is that Stavros is going to show up at an amusement park on the rainiest night of the year.

[D]

Clearly, by the way, hasn't stopped anyone else from showing.

[B]

No, it is a packed night.

[A]

Packed.

[B]

By the way, this movie. If there's ever been a movie where there's animal cruelty. I know. We've seen it in the past in different films. This one definitely takes the cake. We'll get to a lion later. Or a tiger, by the way.

[D]

How about, like, the. The way the movie deals with both animals and babies.

[B]

Yeah, Babies are a lot of babies.

[D]

And women, too.

[A]

A lot of women get killed. And you know what? Here's the thing. Like, there's this big shoot. They go. They meet up at this amusement park to kill Stavros. He won't take the shot because Stavros's son is there. But then a shootout happens in this. Then. And the son gets killed.

[C]

And then everybody gets killed.

[A]

But people are still riding rides. Like, people are, like, still strapping in, standing in line for rides. Like, oh, look at that gun shadow.

[C]

Wherever they are, mayhem explodes. Like when they're in Rome in the big square where there's a wedding going on. Wedding patrons are just being mowed down by machine gun fire.

[D]

And there's a lot of shots of women. This is at the amusement park and at the wedding where women are being killed from behind. Like, a lot of women die from gunshot wounds to the back.

[C]

Well, they're running away. They're running away. And they get shot in the back by, like, just crossfire.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That's just not something you see every day.

[A]

No, just lie down. That's why I'm always like, just lie down. Why are you still. Why are you still standing in line for the tilt A world.

[C]

My favorite thing before they get to the amusement park is when we have the Dennis Rodman introduction.

[B]

Oh, yes. Let's just play it, and we can talk about. This is gonna be a Rodman banter. Some classic Rodman banter.

[C]

Who are you?

[A]

I'm the man. You.

[B]

I hope you don't judge a person

[C]

by the way they look.

[A]

I hate that.

[C]

Who does your hair?

[A]

Sigfit.

[B]

Or Roy, the last guy made fun of my hair is still trying to

[C]

pull his hair out of his ass. I don't want to know about your sex life. Well, this has been fun. Now, who the hell are you? Jack Quinn?

[B]

The energy is almost like floating.

[C]

It's almost like the director was like. Okay, between sentences and between exchanges, I want you to take a full beat.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So just. We really want to lengthen this out. We really want to. They're punctuated by silence.

[A]

I don't want to give anyone some real. How their relationship grows, but, like, what I noticed is that their relationship starts with indifference towards each other. And then as the movie gets, like, farther along, they're still indifferent. They're just standing closer to each other. They're still the same indifference. They never connect at all, I have to say.

[D]

Why does he ask about his sexuality?

[B]

Well, I feel like in this era, it was sort of like he's so. Because we're introduced to Dennis Rodman getting, like, a belly button piercing and his

[C]

hair is all crazy and he's covered in tattoos and he's.

[D]

So that's just a homophobic remark.

[C]

Yes. I think that was like a big, Like, Rodman at the time. Like, his style on the court and everything was very questionable. Was very. Like he was in the Madonna sex book. There was a lot of. Like, there was a lot of stuff going on.

[B]

And a very, you know, and a very stuffy American agent like Jack Paul Quinn is not gonna.

[C]

An all American guy is not gonna

[B]

stand for someone like Yaz. That is Dennis Robbins character's name, Yaz.

[D]

And yes, by the way, Dennis Rodman did a fine job.

[C]

What? Now?

[D]

I thought, look, Dennis Rodman is a basketball player.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Are you sure? Yes. For what he had to do in this film, I thought he did a fine job.

[B]

I thought he got better.

[D]

I thought he did a fine job.

[A]

There's that scene when he knows that Jack Paul Quinn is dangerous. And he's like, I don't know. And then he touches a wall with his hand. And then it's just all dialogue from the back. Like from the back of his head, like, I know you're dangerous. And then it cuts to him, but what the hell? I like danger. It's like he just turns his.

[D]

Well, see, by the way, I have a bigger issue with the writing because it. It. I didn't understand why all of a sudden he was joining forces with Jack.

[C]

Made no sense.

[D]

There was no incentive.

[C]

But because it was a family. Because his son was in danger.

[B]

But Jack but first of all, let's even get to the reason why they even meet. Is suspect Jack Paul Quinn works for the government. He's doing a government hit. Why does he have to go to some weird arms dealer to get weapons like, this is a government hit?

[C]

Well, no, because he's working. He says he's working for the good guys now. So I assume he was. Like. He was Van Damme's contact in Antwerp. He's like one of the. He's working with the CIA or the. Whoever it is.

[B]

I mean, but he also looks like he's probably selling weapons because he, like, has a room that's like. Like. Like Victoria's Secret or something. It's like. It's like. Or Bettie Page Shop. It's like black and white pictures of, like, women in lingerie that you press the doors open and there's just tons of weapons inside.

[C]

Weapons that they have no problem setting off in the very small room. They're just shooting stuff, throwing grenades like crazy.

[A]

I gotta just say, generally throughout the movie, no police ever come. There's buildings exploding. There's never a fire truck, never an ambulance, never police. No one, no policeman's ever like, what's that going on around the Cor. Explosion? It's just like they get to do whatever they want when they're in the hospital.

[C]

Europe.

[B]

There's not even a pool over there. There's a lot of hospitals in this movie and there's no hospital staff.

[C]

There's none ever.

[B]

It's like they all go home at 5.

[A]

They're just babies crying alone. There's no nurse watching.

[B]

And they also turn off the lights. It seems like in these hospitals, apparently. All right, well, we'll keep the babies in the nursery. Just shut off the lights. They'll be back in the.

[C]

Don't hook them up to any monitors. Just let them roam around free in their.

[A]

That was baby bins.

[B]

Today's podcast is brought to you by our friends over at Squarespace. You know, I love Squarespace because with Squarespace, everything that you need to succeed online is in one spot. From claiming your domain to building a beautiful website promoting your work and taking payments. It's all there. Whether you're just starting out or ready to grow easily, create a standout site using designer templates or AI with drag and drop editing. It makes a everything so easy. I have so many sites. The dinosaur site, the how did this get made site, the Paulshear.com. it's all there and they're all completely different because Squarespace allows me to adapt my style for each one of those sites into a format that they make look good. Does that make sense? I make sense to me. Look, whatever you want to do, offer services, book clients, get paid. It's all in one place with Squarespace. Right? You can even do scheduling invoices, and they have email tools built in people.

[A]

It's great.

[B]

I love Squarespace. Go to squarespace squarespace.com bonkers for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, for me, summer is tricky. Travels picking up. Kids are outta school, there's adventure on the horizon, but there's also just normal things to do. I mean, summer demands are tough and it can make you feel overwhelmed, and you're just kind of sometimes counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school. Well, guess what? Whether you're someone who thrives or just survives in summer, you can also make time to take care of yourself during these warm months. That's right. Why don't you put a little sun on yourself and you can do that with therapy with BetterHelp, the world's largest online therapy platform that can help you understand your needs, feel more confident about setting boundaries, and create a version of summer that actually feels good. All you have to do, take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and preferences. And BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching and it will make it work for you. Feel confident knowing betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US you don't have to say yes to everything this summer, find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] bonkers that's betterhelp.com bonkers.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You know that feeling when you're three days out from someone's birthday and you have no idea what to get and you end up with like a gift card or some generic thing that you're not even sure they'll like? Well, that's what Zazzle fixes. Zazzle is a custom marketplace where you can take basically any product, a mug, a tote, a card, a phone case, and make it mean something. You're not buying a gift. You're making one. Browse millions of designs or start from scratch and build something completely on your own. Either way, you're the designer. They've got a ton of different stuff that you wouldn't even expect. I Mean, we designed these cool lighters, like Zippo lighters that say, how did this get made on them? We're going to give them out at live shows. They look dynamite, and you guys are going to love starting fires with them. Plus, everything is made on demand, so there's no out of stock. Pick it, customize it. Done. Over 30 million customers have trusted Zazzle with their most important gifts. Yours is next. Right now, save 25% on your first [e-mail]. that's 25% savings on your first [e-mail]. go make something amazing. ZazzlE.com.

[B]

but again, I want to go. I want to go back. I want to go back to Dennis Rodman. Like, so again, we're led to believe that Jean Claude Van Damme is a expert and you know, the James Bond and he just casually pulls a grenade pin. He's like, oh, what's this? Like, he's worked with grenades.

[C]

We would assume, like, well, this is some sort of like James Bondi. Kind of doesn't look like a grenade.

[A]

Grenade ring or something, but still, like, they, they never show what it is exactly. Like, you never get a clear shot of like, wait, what did he just do? Like, it's almost like so much was done off camera. It's like, just, just pretend that you did.

[C]

Hey, don't we want to get an insert shot of the thing that he's pulling? No, no, no. It's just a big pen. We didn't invent a thing. We didn't make a thing.

[A]

To me, I fel arrived on set. We're gonna go eat the pizzas now.

[B]

I feel like it is honestly, like everyone did one take and they were all drunk and hungover from the night before partying. Because when you look at Van Damme, like, he has bags. Like, he looks better now than he did in this movie. I feel like this is at the height of just like, I'm drinking, I'm partying, I'm doing coke.

[A]

This whole thing feels like a tax shelter write off. Like that producers were renting out their own locations that they owned and just getting a tax rebate. And it just felt like, yeah, you know what? I'll do this, you know, but, you know, doesn't nothing matters. It's not like they're making. It's not like they went out to make a movie. They went to, like, save money on taxes, international taxes, by making a movie.

[B]

And I want to talk about, like, when they're also planning the mission to assassinate Mickey Rourke. Do have we Said that Mickey Rourke is the bad guy.

[C]

Mickey Rourke is Stavros. He doesn't put on any kind of foreign accent.

[B]

It's a weird Stavros.

[D]

He's Stavros Van Damme as Jack Quinn.

[B]

They should have switched the name.

[C]

Which is the craziest.

[D]

Yeah, with a full Eastern European accent.

[A]

Here's the question. Was he named Jack Quinn so that American audiences say can relate to him, though he's European. Or is it for European audiences to celebrate an American hero played by a European?

[D]

No, I think he's definitely an American in the script.

[C]

And I think they probably wanted Sylvester Stallone or they wanted somebody, Bruce Willis. And they didn't get him and they got jcvd. And they were like, you know what? Fuck it, don't change it.

[A]

Like, as they're handing out the sides for the day, the script and the day of the actor's like, oh, we didn't change. Oh, it doesn't matter.

[B]

But they're setting up this assassination at one point in the movie. And they have like, you remember in Back to the Future at the end when Doc Brown makes like that incredibly detailed map and he's like, okay, you'll go down Main street and then hit the thing. They also have a map exactly like that. Like a three dimensional map of an amusement park, like to just be like a sniper hit.

[C]

Like, there's no need for building 3D models. They have models. They have scale models of all the

[B]

rides, like Back to the Future style. They have a Ferris wheel. Like, the Ferris wheel's not coming into play. Like, why do they need that?

[D]

I have to say, I kind of wish that Jeff, Jack Quinn had shot Stavros son. Because we didn't see who shot him.

[C]

No.

[D]

So for us it's like, oh, well, the whole thing is predicated on like revenge now.

[C]

Well, what's weird too is that they didn't shoot him. Yeah, Jack Quinn could have just shot Stavros.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And game over. We're done. A quick shot. But he hesitates. And because he hesitates, like hundreds and hundreds of people die.

[A]

Apparently no one ever gets in trouble. There's no sense of, of like, oh, that's fine. You know, it's like, oh, it's such a botched crime. But you're gonna go to this now. You're going on vacation for the rest of your life. You just botched that. Hundreds of people died. Have fun and take care.

[D]

Well, and you're right, that gunfire I would say is going off. That whole sequence is like 10 minutes long.

[B]

Of everyone. Yeah, because it starts in an amusement park and goes into a hospital. Yeah, well, because they're all hopped up on cotton candy and funnel cake. The. But I want to talk about also the reveal of the child. They're okay, he's making contact. Stavros is making contact.

[C]

Who's that woman? Who's that woman?

[B]

And the child is underneath her rain poncho, like, as if. I don't know.

[C]

But the child is, like five and.

[B]

But again, he's revealed by her lifting, essentially lifting up her skirt. And a child walks out.

[D]

Why, if he's gonna see. Yeah. Why wouldn't the child just be there the whole time?

[B]

I mean, isn't it the whole thing.

[C]

What's the value of her hiding a

[D]

child in an amusement park because of the rain?

[B]

Get him his own poncho there.

[C]

Everybody's riding rides. Everybody.

[D]

You know what I mean?

[A]

With the rain, no one stopped. And by the way, they wrote.

[D]

Do you think they wrote the rain into it?

[C]

I think they only had that amusement park that night and it happened to be raining.

[B]

And they just get a close up on this tiger, a wet tiger. Looks like the saddest, sickest.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

They have a long shot of this tiger pacing. But now, if the. The meeting was for Stavros to meet up with his family, wasn't he prepared? Like, oh, I might see his, like, wife and kid. I'm gonna get nervous. Like, that was.

[A]

He's not meeting, like, a contact at the amusement park. You know, like, he. It makes no sense. And then they. He doesn't kill him. And then Starros is the one who starts shooting. He's the one who starts shooting everybody.

[C]

Wait, but. But here's. This is the part of the movie that I really was like, holy shit. This just passed into a new level of crazy, which was Stavros is talking to his son and the mother, and he looks over at the tiger and the tiger looks up to where Van Damme.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. The tiger gives it away.

[C]

The tiger tips him off. The tiger is a wild animal in a cage that's like, hey, bro, look up there.

[B]

Have you ever seen Madagascar? These tigers are so. It was the.

[C]

I was like, wait, does the tiger work for Stavros? This is ludicrous. And of course, Stavros pulls out a gun and starts. And instantly, in one shot, shoots the sniper girl.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

The one who said she could shoot

[C]

the dick off a hummingbird.

[B]

And she gets shot. I love these kind of shots where they shoot through the sniper lens and it goes through her eye. It's like the shot is so precise.

[C]

Oh, that was. We skipped over that. That was a great scene where they're planning. In the scene with the map, the map of the amusement park, the two things, the two lines we just said, one that I loved, which was, I can shoot with this. I can shoot the dick off a hummingbird.

[D]

It was delivered so beautifully, so great.

[C]

But then the other one was. The entrance is like. One of the other guys brings Van Damme in and he's like, gentlemen, this is Delta One. Forget you ever saw him. I was like, well, he's still right there. We're all gonna spend the rest of the day talking to him. Like, what do you mean, forget you ever saw him? It was.

[A]

I couldn't stop thinking about those actors. Cause as soon as I saw them, I'm like, oh, they're all gonna die or we're never gonna see them again. I'm like, oh, they're probably all staying in a hostel somewhere. They're not getting. They're just local, hired, standing there. They've been there all day.

[B]

Now this, if you would think. So they go into the amusement park. Then they get into a fight scene in a hospital where they're just throwing

[C]

baby babies in a nursery.

[B]

Nursery babies.

[C]

They get into a fight in a nursery where they're literally.

[B]

They're tossing babies in and out at each other. And essentially, Jack Pa is not going to let a baby, you know, get in the middle of it.

[A]

I love that. The babe. There's a huge. That another grenade that goes off in that elevator. And then he pushes the baby out of the way. And the baby is unharmed, even though there's flames going all around him and, like, knocked him out. But then the baby's like.

[C]

So this whole thing ends with Stavros getting away. The explosion from the grenade has knocked Jack Quinn out. And then he wakes up.

[B]

This is where I jumped off the couch and went, what? What are we watching? Continue.

[C]

He wakes up in the colony, which, for those of you who've seen the 1960s television show the Prisoner.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Felt an awful lot like the Prisoner.

[B]

Oh, it was such a direct ripoff of the Prisoner. And at this point, you're just like,

[A]

what is made no sense. I was like, what is this groovy place?

[C]

So they live.

[D]

So basically, what's weird about it is, like, it made no sense. But it was also my favorite part of the movie.

[B]

It was like the Oakwood.

[D]

The whole movie was that.

[B]

Yeah, it was like an Oakwood apartment for, like, ex spies. It was.

[C]

It was all spies who have presumably been killed in battle. Like the best of the best.

[B]

Like from kgb, CIA?

[C]

Oh, yes, exactly. From everybody, from everywhere. But now they all work. Work for the Colony, which is a top secret spy organization that monitors the world for global terrorism. And then they are the last line of defense between everything and absolute chaos. Yeah, right.

[D]

But they just analyze. Because they're never on the field. They can't.

[C]

No, they can't leave the island.

[B]

They put on their virtual reality glasses and the very complicated system where they have to keep their hand down. Like they're in this, like, Dr. Strangelove war room, where they're watching, you know, they're getting feeds from everybody. But they have to keep their hand in one place at all time, which made no sense to me.

[A]

I just felt like that's a place I don't want to trust those guys to stop terrorism. It looks like everyone's. It's like happy hour all the time on a cruise ship. It's like.

[C]

Oh, it's like. Yeah, it's like a Mediterranean island is what it looks like.

[A]

It was like, that's when they shot Mamma Mia or something.

[B]

Yeah, it exactly looked like their pool looked like that.

[C]

Yeah, it's basically Santorini.

[B]

And they go like this, and they say they get him. He wakes up. He's in this room. It's like, hey, hit this button if you want to live. And he hits the button, and then he's brought into this Dr. Strangelove room. And he hasn't even gotten up to speed on what is even happening.

[C]

Oh, no. He's covered in bandages.

[B]

And they're like, jack, figure this out or we're gonna kill you. He's like, wait a second. Just give him a little bit of time to catch up here.

[C]

I loved when he's got the. There's a great. There's an introduction to all the ex spies that are there. And he's like, oh, my God, you're this guy. You died in this thing. And, oh, my God, you're this guy. And he goes to one guy. Oh, my God, you died in Lebanon. And he goes, beirut, actually. And I'm like, beirut's in Lebanon.

[B]

Yeah, that is.

[D]

But here's my question.

[C]

Beirut is a city in Lebanon, isn't it?

[A]

You died in a.

[C]

Have I lost my mind?

[B]

No, no, you are. Yeah.

[D]

But my question is, why. Why does the Colony take these guys at certain points? Like, why did they take Jack Quinn?

[C]

Because he failed. Because he failed his mission.

[B]

Well, that was his punishment. I didn't understand his punishment for letting Stavros go was going to.

[C]

They show that little video before. They say, if you want to live, push the button. They show him the video that says, you could have killed Stavros. You didn't. And so your mission was a failure. It's your fault. So now if you want to live, you're gonna have to work it off, basically.

[B]

I would've liked to see the guy making that video, too, just in after effects.

[D]

So everybody who's in there has failed at some sort of mission?

[C]

Yeah, they've all been killed or they've all been quote, unquote killed.

[B]

They've all failed. I think they've all failed.

[A]

Yeah, they all failed or they. Yeah, retarded.

[B]

There's, like, one guy they don't justify. Who put this together, though?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, who's in charge?

[C]

It's probably the Illuminati, right?

[A]

But, you know, there's that one guy I forget. Like, he hates him. And you're sort of like, oh, of course he. But, like, why? They never say.

[C]

It's just like, oh, no, because they

[B]

used to be bad guys.

[C]

No, because Jack Quinn says, I thought I killed him and blah, blah, blah. So that guy hates him because Jack Quinn came very close to killing him now.

[A]

Now they all are supposed to get along now.

[C]

Everybody's bros now.

[B]

It seems to me like he has been.

[C]

By the way, there are no lady spies. No lady spies. It's all. It's like a real sausage fest on this island for the most part.

[D]

No SP under 60.

[C]

Yeah, they're all old. They're all old, old, like, and they're all, like. It looks crusty. They seem.

[B]

It looks like, you know, like. Like a place where the character from Sexy Beast would be, like, hanging out.

[C]

Like, it's all these, like, oh, Ben Kingstone. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, it's just like. It's a Tommy Bahama commercial. They're all just, like, chilling.

[C]

They're all in leisure wear.

[A]

It's like magic hours. Like, you know, they got loafers on. They're like, oh, let's go solve some crimes.

[C]

There's one guy while they're in the Dr. Strangelove room, like, hooked up to all the computers, like, looking at the footage of a downed plane or something. And there's one guy who's wearing, like, a green checked golf jacket. I was like, what the fuck is this? Does everybody get to choose their own garbage clothes?

[A]

Come on.

[B]

They get to wear whatever they want. They're getting their leisure time now. They. Now, this is where I'm confused in the timeline, because it seems like he has. This is, again, an ADR model. He has failed in the assassination attempt. It's been more than 36 hours. He wakes up on this island. He solves a case. He seems to be on this island for a couple of days. And then you cut to that same rainy night where his wife is, like, outside by the pool. She runs in and answers the phone. It's like, hey, we want to buy your sculpture. And she's like, okay. But you could tell that in that movie.

[C]

I don't think it's the same rainy night.

[B]

I think what it is is really. What I think it was is they ADR'd the phone conversation. They're like. Like, your husband has been killed. Cause she starts bursting out in tears. Like she's crying. And I think they were like, oh, we gotta figure out how to get her to, like, run.

[A]

Here's the big question. Was there a script? Was there a script, do you think? Or did they just like, oh, we have this location. What are we doing? Cause that's the thing you're talking about, is it makes sense now. You're like, yeah, it doesn't. Nothing.

[C]

No, things don't add up. I think he was on the colony for months.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I think, too. Because he had to. Because he was shaving off his fingerprints.

[D]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

I can't go back to that. But his face was so emotional.

[C]

Wait a minute. What?

[B]

When he was peeling off his fingerprints. When he used the razor.

[C]

Yeah. No. You really had a problem with that, huh?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I couldn't look at it myself.

[D]

I could not look at that.

[C]

He takes an X acto knife and cuts off his thumbprint.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But he has. No. If you look at his face, it's completely emotionless. It's just like, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. He's just like, bum, bum, bum. This doesn't hurt. This doesn't. This is not weird to me at all. I'm just like.

[C]

And he. He. He, like, he perfectly. It's. It's like in Goodfellas when they're in prison making, like, shaving with a razor blade. The garlic so that it's so thin that it must. And he does that to his thumb. Like, the thinnest layer of just his thumbprint. It's perfect.

[A]

Let's just talk about. Can I just talk about the fancy hotel room workout? Oh.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[D]

Like, I was like, that was amazing.

[A]

This is insane. Like, that. It's just Like a Pilates cigarette, smoking whiskey, pre masturbation work.

[C]

There's like a tub lift.

[A]

I was like, what is this guy?

[D]

It was such a great sequence though. I loved all of it.

[B]

Wait, what?

[D]

I loved it.

[C]

You love the training?

[D]

I love the training.

[B]

Run the self training montage. By the way, why did he even need to. I mean, I guess he needs to.

[C]

Because he was injured.

[B]

Oh, okay. So he's like.

[C]

I think because he was so injured that he needed to get himself back in fighting shape.

[B]

They get him shirtless a lot in this movie.

[D]

The thing was, he knew he had to get out of there. He was already sort of devising the plan to get out. Well, that's difficult to get out of there.

[C]

Yeah, he realizes he needs to get off the island. And by the way, it wasn't that difficult.

[B]

All he did was jump off a cliff, swim to the thing and hold on. That was it.

[D]

Like they would spawn and shave off a fingerprint.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you got that thing that hit. And then we gotta talk about.

[B]

I mean, I'm very excited if you bring it up.

[C]

I'm bringing it.

[A]

But he's swimming underwater. Cause he jumps off this cliff and he's got gotta swim to this raft to get on the plane, the cargo plane to get out. And the guy who doesn't like him we talked about before swims up behind him. How did he know he was a scabbard?

[C]

Full scuba gear with the. Yeah, full scuba gear.

[A]

Where the lasers are happening and all that kind of stuff. Cause there's lasers that prevent you from swimming.

[C]

Well, but the lasers have been turned off.

[B]

A bag.

[C]

He puts a bag over his head.

[A]

Which would give him air. It would give him air underwater. You don't strangle underwater, but.

[B]

Oh, this is great.

[A]

Thank you for the air. No, it's like he's already doesn't have. So you're giving him more air.

[C]

Well, what I thought and realized later I was wrong was what the upper crusty British guy tells Van Damme when he gets there is if somebody tries to escape, the Guardian is assigned to go and get them. Everybody has a Guardian.

[B]

Again, that would come into play. I mean, this. Well, we'll get to how it comes into play.

[C]

But I immediately thought, oh, his nemesis guy, the tall blond Dolph Lundgren. Guy must be his guardian. And that's why he's showing up with the scuba gear and he's gonna get. In fact, not the case.

[B]

Nope, not at all.

[C]

That guy just happens to be in the ocean scuba gearing.

[A]

He would have to know that. Because there's these.

[B]

Just lasers.

[A]

There's lasers there that prevent you from swimming. And they turn it off for that clock when the plane comes so they can get the shipment. But so that guy had to go. All right, I scuba dive for five minutes a day in between lasers.

[B]

When the lasers come, I go down.

[C]

My recreation.

[D]

Who was his guardian?

[C]

The upper crust British guy Rellok from

[B]

Raiders now, which was awesome. I want to also just bring up. And we'll mention it later when it really comes into play, but Coke definitely was a sponsor of this movie.

[C]

Oh, you think?

[B]

Because Coke plays a very pivotal role in the escape, but even a better pivotal role in the finale.

[C]

And it also plays a role in a fight sequence. Yes, with the cans.

[D]

Coke is the hero in this film.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Coke in Europe.

[C]

I mean.

[B]

Well, I guess it's true. It's a lot in Europe, I guess, but. But Jean Claude Van Damme's character definitely drinks Coke, uses coke a lot.

[C]

And we're not talking about cocaine, guys.

[A]

You should be.

[B]

Have you ever, I don't know, put off replacing your glasses for way too long? I mean, I do this all the time. They're falling off my face and I don't know why. I'm just not simply getting another pair of glasses. I need them. But guess what? It's a process. I gotta go to a store, I gotta get the prescription, I gotta mail it, I gotta fax it. Look, I just want to live my life and I also don't want to spend a fortune. And guess what? I realize I don't have to do either of those things because Zenny Optical is an online shop that fixes all of that with affordable frames and lenses. You can switch it up whenever you feel like it. Okay? And you can try on your zennies virtually. Just upload your prescription and then you can get them shipped right to your door. Let me talk to you about this virtual try on. I'm able to make choices. I'm like, I don't like that one. I do like that one. You really are able to see what looks good on your face. And here's the best part. You don't just need to need prescriptions. You can just get regular sunglasses, which I did. And why? Because the price is right. Okay? So if your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com podcast and use code podcast15 for 15 off your first order. The styles sell out, so don't sit on it. That's Z-E-N-N-I.com podcast promo code podcast15. You know, not feeling like yourself lately. Kind of low energy, can't focus, digestion being a little funky. Well, this is the perfect time for you to start iM8's daily Ultimate Essentials. Oh, this is a wellness drink that gives your body and mind the support it needs without juggling a bunch of different supplements. No one wants to sit in front of a handful of pills. Okay. This drink is loaded with 92 nutrient rich ingredients such as vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, CoQ, MSM and pre and pro and postbiotic. They got everything. I didn't even know about postbiotics. I've been using it now for the last couple of weeks and it's a great way to start off my morning. I think the taste is actually really good and I have noticed a big change in my energy. So why don't you feel your best self every day with im8 go to im8health.com bonkers and use the Code Bonkers for a free welcome kit. 5 free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's im8health h e a l t h.com bonkers code bonkers for a free welcome kit 5 free travel sachets plus ten percent off your order. Im8health.com bonkers code bonkers these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Summer travel is coming. And wouldn't it be a dream that if you are going to a different land that you could easily speak the language? Right? That would be amazing. But you're like, oh, I don't know, probably should have learned it back in high school. No, no, no, no. You shouldn't have learned it back in high school. And if you did, you might have even forgotten it by now. But for 10 minutes a day, you will be able to speak better than you ever thought possible. If you are using Babbel, because Babbel can help you have real conversations in as little as three weeks. Lessons are quick, practical and built by more than 200 language experts. And instead of memorizing random vocab, you're learning phrases use when you're ordering dinner and or asking for directions or even talking with locals. You know, I've been using Babbel and I absolutely love it. What I love about it is it's a little gamified. I want to come back every day. I don't miss a day. And I love feeling comfortable and it's working. It is actually working. So if you have summer travel coming up, now is the time to start. So you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babbel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babbel.com bonkers. That's Babbel. B A B B E L for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. Now he's off the island. He escapes. They don't really show you how he gets. Oh, yeah, he gets. Holds the plane hostage.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he gets to land.

[A]

That was the craziest. That escape. Like, it just made no sense. They knew they had to add one more thing of jeopardy. But it just. I think they had a certain point. They're like, yeah, I don't, I don't care. You just put them in gear and have them die this way.

[D]

Like there's no because. Because now I feel like we're at maybe halfway through the movie.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Okay, well, I feel like it's just once we get to the end of the colony that sort of.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Why is this midpoint called double team?

[B]

Wait a second. Because you got two guys. Dude, there's two in one there.

[C]

Because him and Rodman become like a team up. And that's my problem.

[D]

That happens.

[C]

Oh, they also.

[D]

That girl together late in the movie. Yeah. This movie is not a two hander. It's not with Rodman and Van Damme.

[B]

If it wasn't Rodman, you probably wouldn't. He wouldn't have been on the poster.

[C]

It really is the. It's only the last 30 minutes of the movie that they team up. That Rodman and Van Damme are a team. The first hour of the movie is just a Rodman, I mean, is rather a Van Damme nonsense festival.

[A]

Well, here's a question. Do you think that they were like, this is going to be really exciting that Dennis Rodman is doing the picture. And they were like super fired up. He's.

[C]

We're going to let him wear whatever he wants.

[A]

He's a three Pete. He, he, everyone loves him. He's a winner. And then they just saw what kind of actor he was and like, all right, cut him out of this. Cut him out of this. And let's just make oh, maybe Claude Van Damme picture.

[B]

Because it's like, no, I think, I think what it is is they were like, we want Dennis Rodman. Let's shoehorn him into something. Like there was no way.

[D]

That's what I think.

[A]

There was no Way.

[B]

There was like a guy named Yaz.

[D]

Like, I think that they script that. Oh, really? Yes. That there was just his journey. Jack Quinn's journey to get his son and whatever. And then they shoehorned Rodman.

[B]

I think Rodman is so.

[D]

Because he has no motivation to join this.

[C]

No, not at all.

[A]

He's had the family motivation, but that comes after he says, what the hell? Motivation.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And. And there's previously. There's the money motivation.

[A]

Because this is a picture of my. The sonogram of my baby.

[D]

But why does Rodman care about that?

[C]

Because he's. He's like a fucking. He's more respectable dude.

[B]

Let me. Let me ask you guys this. These are.

[C]

He's like, why didn't you tell me that first? Yeah, I mean, I just would love

[A]

to talk about the fact that Dennis Rodman does speak in basketball terms, and they speak to him in basketball terms as if he is a basketball player.

[B]

Parachute in a giant basketball. What? They jumped out. His invention is a basketball parachute.

[A]

It's his invention that he didn't want to go. Like, Van Dam pushed him down into it. It was like, I don't want to do my own invention. And it's so weird because he's not a basketball player. He's a basketball player who's playing an arms dealer. So why would this guy love basketball references?

[C]

No, it doesn't but so many of his one liners are like. Like basketball zingers.

[B]

Here, listen to this one. Oops.

[C]

Air ball. You need practice, man. I hate practice.

[B]

But I never miss twice, brother.

[A]

Didn't he get in trouble for skipping practice?

[B]

That was his whole thing. It's all, like inside jokes about him

[C]

not going to practice.

[D]

The weird thing, though, about that parachute, the basketball parachute, is that it? It doesn't actually. It looks like a basketball, but then

[C]

when it lands, it doesn't bounce or anything.

[B]

Yeah, it just kind of opens up, like an edge.

[D]

And I was excited about that.

[A]

And then Jean Claude Von d them leaves him in the field. He's just like. He pushes him down, but they don't work together. He's like, I'll see. Go back to Antwerp. As soon as they land, he says, go back to Antwerp. Why push him out of a plane if you're not even gonna take him with you? He's like, see you in Antwerp. He's like, hey. And then this is what I tried. I rewound this scene a few times just because I didn't know what was going on. I was like, well, who. Where is He. Where is he going? Whose house is this? I was like, is that Stavros's house? They never said. He just. I was like, what. What point is this? It's just. He just goes to a house and he sees a baby.

[C]

No, no, that's his house. That's his south of France train house.

[D]

That was the train house.

[A]

That was the train.

[D]

He was going to see his wife.

[B]

That was the train house.

[A]

Yeah, they blew up.

[D]

He thought his wife. He thought she had had the baby already.

[C]

No, he thought she would be there because he was trying to figure out what happened because Stavros said he had the butterfly. When they're in the colony, there's a terrorism act. In one of the pictures, Van Damme zooms in on, and Stavros has left him a message spray painted on the wall that says, q, I have your butterfly. But Van Damme doesn't say anything to anybody. And that's what prompts him to escape is a giant.

[B]

Like, that's a very elaborate plan that he's gonna graffiti everyone.

[C]

Why does Stavros think he's still alive?

[B]

Stavros knows he's in the colony. That makes no sense.

[C]

Is that real?

[A]

He never says anything about that. And how does Yaz know about the colony? Because he's like, remember when he meets up with Stavros and talks about his kids? I mean, meets up with Yazia's. Like, I don't even believe in the colony. It's like, well, how do you even know about the colony? It doesn't even make sense. Like, why are you bringing it up? Like, no one asked you. No one asked you about the colony, Yaz.

[D]

Well, so he goes to the house, though, to see if his wife is still here.

[A]

I guess that makes sense, because I was like, what baby is this? That's what I thought, too, because his baby wasn't born, but I guess that makes sense.

[B]

But it was.

[C]

Unless.

[B]

Elaborate plan.

[C]

And that crazy Manny, he really is. He doesn't want to shoot that woman who is just straight up real shooting at him.

[A]

She set up a bomb to kill him, and then she shoots at him. And then she stops shooting at him for a while. Remember, he, like, shoots the other guys and they. And then it's like nothing's happening. And then he gets shot at again. Like she would stop shooting. Here's the deal.

[C]

Like, when people are shooting at you, like, even if it's a woman, you're allowed to shoot her.

[A]

Yeah, she's a. She's paid.

[B]

James Bond has done it.

[D]

And Then not only that, but she looks like a zombie.

[C]

She weirdly looked like she was in, like, some sort of, like, hypnotic state.

[A]

And what's the deal, right?

[D]

Why? I mean, she was.

[A]

She was in shock from the explosion.

[C]

Explosion.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But it wasn't just her. Like. I know what you're saying. Like, she looked a little charred. But her eyes.

[C]

She was like, she looked a little charred. She was. She was slightly singed. How about the.

[A]

How about the. The grenade that goes in a pool, and all of a sudden it's the biggest explosion you've ever seen

[B]

out of a pool.

[C]

There are no fewer than 15 grenades thrown in this movie. And depending on the location, they either make a very small explosion or the big. Or like a Hiroshima level explosion.

[A]

Yeah, that one in the hospital took

[C]

up a whole hallway.

[A]

And it's just like. It's a grenade go pop, you know? Oh, it's so bananas.

[B]

Can we talk about when Jean Claude Van Damme goes undercover as, like, Jean, when he goes, like, he dresses like Robert Stone.

[A]

That was amazing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you know, because he's sitting with all those goth people and he's got this, like, this frizzy, like, Carrot Top wig and these round sunglasses. Like, he's got a boombox on his shoulder. Like, I am just cool guy.

[B]

Jean Claude Van Gogh with Dennis Rodman in a zoot suit kind of like. Like, I don't like, he looks like. He looks like when the Fox in Warner Brothers cartoons gets dressed up to go out.

[C]

Like, how about when they steal a mini and Dennis Rodman's head sticks out the top like it. Like a Mr. Bean cartoon. Or not cartoon. Mr. Bean thing.

[A]

Can we. Yeah.

[C]

What was that about?

[A]

That was. That was just like. They're just having a good time on set. I think. Like, let's just play. There's something. That whole setup in the. The park in Rome when, like. Cause it's like every agent is gonna be there that the way they set that up. He's like, what is your plan? Jean Claude Van Damme says, I have no idea, but I'm gonna let Stavros do what he thinks that I'll do, and then I will be there when he does it. But it's like the most vague. It's like a kid trying to get out of. He says, are you gonna send him an email message? Yes.

[D]

And then he does on that device, whatever that was. And then it says on the top. It says on the top of it, facts.

[B]

But now, wait, here's the other thing again. Jean Claude Van Damme. We've seen him not take the shot when he has the shot. We've seen him accidentally launch a grenade. He's touching too many things. And now we see him see his wife. And the only thing he needs to do is not make a giant scene and go, my wife, my wife. And run across the square and blow the entire mission. And he does that. Like, why?

[C]

Why? Because he's just so emotional, I guess.

[B]

His wife is giving birth. Who.

[C]

Who was the man on horseback shooting a machine gun?

[A]

Made no sense.

[B]

Who?

[C]

In, like, in some sort of, like, period garb. Who was that man?

[A]

It was impossible to figure out. Yeah, but it was impossible to figure out who anybody was and who they worked for. Everyone was just shooting at anyone. You're like, is that a bad guy? Is that a bad guy?

[C]

It was never clear to me who were good guys and who were bad guys.

[A]

And by the good guys were girls who were shot in the back. You know, they were like, oh, that poor person.

[C]

Yeah. And the bridal party.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we've never. Now, so far, we're back in the movie. We're not even engaging in the idea that he's being hunted down by his guy who was trying to kill him from the colony. Like, that is not really.

[C]

That's barely present.

[B]

But that's what I'm saying. Like, you would think that that would be.

[D]

Right. That only comes back at the very end.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. You would think that that would be a motivator throughout the second act or whatever.

[A]

And, you know, the guy does follow him, but he doesn't do anything. He just sort of, like, follows him. He goes, there he is.

[C]

Until they. Until they. Spoiler alert. Blow up the Coliseum, right? Then he's there to be like, well,

[D]

okay, so even get out of here.

[A]

That's what it says. Get out of here.

[D]

This is my big problem. So I'm not sure when this happens, but he somehow gets to the hotel that his wife had been staying at, or, you know, under Stavros's watch, and he finds a label.

[B]

Prescription bottle.

[D]

No, it's not a bottle. It's a label that's stuck on the mirror.

[C]

It's on a window.

[D]

It's a label that's stuck on a mirror that says Pitocin.

[B]

Right.

[D]

So I guess this is what I was trying to understand. Did they do that on purpose to draw him out to the hospital, I'm assuming?

[A]

No, but they put it there.

[B]

But they also had to figure out what hospital had given women pitocin in the last, like.

[C]

Oh, but. But who do they go to figure that out?

[B]

Oh, the Bro brothers, right?

[C]

Cyber Monks.

[A]

Cyber Monks.

[C]

Cyberbanks in. Like when you're watching. When you buy it on itunes and are watching it, all the little chapters are titled. Yeah, this chapter is titled Cyber Monks.

[B]

Well, I wish it was type. I wish it was Cyber Brothers, because the entire time Dennis Robin's like, my brothers are gonna help us. My brothers. My brothers. My brothers. And then you realize they actually are brothers, like Franciscan brothers.

[A]

And they learn how to fist bump. That's the cutest thing. They learn how to fist bump. And then he. He says, we use the Internet. And Dennis Robin, like, rolls his eyes like, isn't this crazy to use the Internet?

[B]

And by the way, their Internet setup is akin to the Adam West Batman computer setup. It is giant and it is just massive.

[C]

How about just before we continue on with Cybermunks? When he finds the Pitocin label, he then gets into a fight with a gentleman who has a switchblade in his foot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's how he just holds a switchblade with a footprint.

[C]

I couldn't figure that out for the life of me. Like, you've gotta switchblade. Cool, man.

[B]

Use it in your hand.

[A]

And he jumps. He like, jumps out of his shoes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And then his shoes go crazy. And Jean Claude Van Damme's like, what the hell? And then. Then he goes. So he had it in his shoe.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Holding it in his shoe in his thing. That's very uncomfortable.

[B]

But that's also a James Bond thing, because James Bond used to fight a woman who had a dagger in her shoe. And she would.

[C]

In the shoe. I get this. Was.

[D]

He was.

[C]

He was holding a switchblade between his toes, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, I guess we're to understand that he's better with a switchblade by foot.

[A]

That.

[C]

You know what? That's true. I don't know that that's possible.

[B]

But again, who made that decision?

[C]

Dead silence.

[B]

Someone had to go, you need to

[C]

hold this in between your feet. I bet it was the stuntman who was like, you know what I can actually do?

[B]

Put this in between my feet.

[C]

I could put this in my feet.

[B]

And the director's like, yeah, fuck it, let's do it.

[C]

And that then. And then the other thing that was strange about it was there's a guy in the hallway who has an El Mariachi style suitcase gun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

That. I was like, this is. This has already been done, fella. Like, we already. We've already seen El Mariachi.

[B]

Well, no, not at this point.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he shoots, what, 97?

[A]

Yeah, I think so. He shoots everything. And then the bell boy downstairs looks up, and then he goes, I'm gonna call the police. He goes, are you sure? Is there something like. You sure? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna call the police. Yeah, it's just like, so casual and no police.

[D]

My question is. So his wife is with. Is. Has been given Pitocin to induce labor. Induce labor. And is it not her due date? That's the big thing.

[B]

Is Mickey Rourke gonna take the baby and then immediately kill it? Is that what we are lead to believe?

[D]

I think.

[B]

Or just take it as his own.

[D]

See, I think he's gonna take about Mickey Rourke's motivation. A part of me thought he may take this baby because he wants a son.

[C]

Oh, I think he's just using the baby as bait to draw out.

[D]

I agree.

[A]

Because he's gonna kill Van Damme like he wants. I think he ultimately wants to kill the baby and make Van Damme know the feelings he feels.

[D]

Even though Van Damme didn't kill his

[C]

son, he blames Van Damme for the death of his son.

[A]

He doesn't give a Van Damme. What does it all say?

[D]

So there's a doctor.

[C]

I can't believe it took us this long.

[D]

There's a doctor who's taking care of Van Damme's wife, who for some reason.

[C]

A lady doctor. Which. A lady doctor in the 90s is almost unheard of.

[D]

Sure. Who for some reason, becomes a good guy.

[C]

Yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't figure that out either if

[A]

she was, like, in on it or she was, like a real doctor, and. Cause it's so vague, and I was just like, what is. What is going. Is she in good hands or is she not in good hands?

[C]

There's so many.

[D]

Well, ultimately, she was in good hands hands with her.

[C]

His plan, Stavros's plan is terrible. You know, like, there's so much. There's so many, like, completely circumstantial and coincidental things that have to happen in order for it to actually come to fruition. Like right after this, when he takes off with the baby, Van Damme catches up with his wife. The doctor turns nice and saves the wife's life. But then Van Damme chases him to the Coliseum, and in the Coliseum, Mickey Rourke's setup is. There's a man versus Tiger fight. He's gonna say to Van Damme, you have to fight this tiger. But. But there's a minefield. So the floor of the Colosseum is a minefield. And you're gonna fight this tiger. Now if you're Starfros, can't you assume the tiger's gonna step on a mine? The tiger doesn't know to avoid the mine.

[B]

The tiger's the one that kind of let him. He.

[C]

Oh, I agree with the tiger.

[B]

The. The tiger is very smart.

[A]

I didn't even think about that. The tiger would have no idea where a mine is.

[C]

It doesn't matter. The tiger could very easily have been like, walk, walk, walk, explode. Okay, that's over.

[B]

Well, how did Dennis Rodman move the explosives without blowing them?

[D]

He didn't move the explosives. He just moved the little markers.

[A]

But he also, here's the thing too. Like at the end, spoiler alert. That the whole one mine will explode. The whole Colosseum.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So Mickey Rourke, by being there, would die anyway if Donna V. That's a really good point. The crazy thing is.

[D]

Good point.

[A]

I was waiting and I don't want to give away the ending.

[B]

No, please, let's stay over here.

[C]

We're there.

[A]

But it really is like I was waiting for him to like Van Damme. It starts. The movie starts off, he's so happy with his wife and his child and like. Or that he's expecting a child. Then the end, it's really like, goodbye. Hey, Rodman, take care of the. Yes, take care of them. See ya. And he never reconnects with his wife and kid. That's the last you see of them. That was the. His whole driving force that he wanted to do more now. Anything else? And he's like, all right, I'll see you later. And then it just ends with like Rodman with a burning Coliseum. They're probably gonna blame me for this.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

He goes, they're probably gonna blame for me for this one too. Like, what did they blame you for before?

[B]

For all the former Chicago.

[C]

Also, Rodman says to the colony guy, well, I guess it's my turn to disappear. And I thought that was Robin being like, take me to the colony.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And the guy's just like, haha. And drives off. Yeah.

[A]

He goes, smokescreen. And he throws down his coin.

[C]

What was that about? Okay, I want to understand this. So upper crust British guy has a gun pointed at Van Damme at the end. His. And he is the guardian. And then rot. And. But he says, I want a lock of your hair and your shirt. Is that because.

[B]

Because he wants to bring it back to the colony and go, I killed him.

[C]

Okay? That's what he wants, right? Then why does Rot Rodman throw the smoke grenade?

[B]

Because he seems like he was gonna let him go, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

But here's the problem with the lock of hair and the shirt at the colony. They seem to have video feed on every inch of the world.

[A]

And he already connected when he was with the Cyber monks, he already connected with them and said, thanks for looking out. Yeah, yeah, love Jimmy, or whatever. And then they, like, smile at each other like, yeah, he's a good guy. Like, wait, no one's planning on killing him. They're, like, helping him.

[C]

Yeah, the colony appears to be helping him. Except for the guardian. Well, maybe the guardian is kind of helping him.

[D]

This is the weird thing about the colony. You know, it seems like for some people, it's a retirement community where they never want to leave and would never try to escape.

[C]

Right, right.

[D]

And then for others, I think if you go to the colony before your retirement age, it's a really tough place. But if you are, you're ready to be retired. But yeah, if you're like over 60, then, like, why not stay there?

[A]

They eat well. They're probably getting pool. They got drinks.

[B]

They're weather running permanent Club Med. Let me talk about one thing before we. And we gotta wrap it up, but one thing that we gotta talk about. When the Colosseum is exploding. The baby. Dennis Rodman and Jean Claude Van Damme are all saved by a Coke machine, right?

[D]

Yes, several.

[B]

They hide behind a Coke machine.

[A]

It's the original. Yeah, you're gonna say it's the original. Nuking the fridge. Exactly.

[C]

It's the same move. And as Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull getting.

[A]

Yeah, it was the. I was just like, this is so crazy. And here's something else. The baby's not crying. I gotta tell you, I have three kids. If I take a shit too loud, the baby's cries, you know, it's just like that baby would be crying.

[C]

You gotta quiet those shits too.

[D]

All that.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

They take a Moses, I take a Gyro poop.

[C]

Is it the noise you're making with your mouth or with your ass that's so loud.

[A]

It's really both. I try to harmonize, but it really. Like a kid, I do have to pee sitting down or I'm gonna wake my baby. And it's so annoying. And this baby is just like so mellow as flames hot.

[B]

I mean, the baby was shoved inside a brick wall at one Point.

[C]

And the tiger almost eats the baby at one point.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Van Damme karate kicks that tiger. That looked pretty good, actually.

[B]

That was amazing. By the way. This is the movie that I always want to see. Tigers have been quite kicked, people have been shot in the back. Children are assassinated. I mean, there was nobody on set going, maybe we should hold off on shooting the women. We shouldn't kill the kids. This is crazy.

[C]

I'll tell you what. When the tiger tipped off Mickey Rourke as to the location of Van Damme, that's when I was like, this movie is on a whole other level.

[B]

Listen to this Mickey Rourke monologue. I'm going to give you a chance to save your son.

[C]

If you live today, you'll get to know your son. And if you don't, raise him as my own. You know, men are strong, Jack, but the tiger stronger.

[B]

I mean, that's basically his Oscar moment in many respects.

[C]

His Oscar moment during the point of his career when he has to be in movies like this.

[A]

Yeah, well, you know what I gotta say? When he realizes he's standing on that mine and he's starts to like, cry. Like, he actually is playing that scene really well. Like, his face. He's really doing it. And you know, like Miggy's like, yeah, I'm doing this stupid movie. I just gotta do it for money and whatever. And it's just like. But he's also trying, he's trying to

[B]

work out, by the way, he did do a serious martial arts regimen to have the physical appearance in the film in preparation for the fight.

[C]

Oh, I don't doubt it. He looked great.

[B]

Obviously we had opinions about this movie, but there are other people who thought differently. So now it's time for. For second opinions. That's right. These are five star reviews. Cold from Amazon. Five star reviews of Double Team. Now, very rarely do we run into this problem where there are not many. There were only four and I picked the best two because even the. The four weren't even that good. I'll read the first one to you. This is from a review just by a customer. That's what happens when people don't put their full name in. I've seen most action films made in Hollywood since 80, but I've never seen one like this before. This film is an uncredible miracle work. Intriguing plot, beautiful fight scenes, various camera works. Whether you're an action fan or not, you have to see this movie. I give it a six out of five. The first time we've had a six out of Five.

[A]

Well, it seems to work for that movie. That a six out of five because that makes no sense. So it works perfectly for that movie.

[B]

What does various camera works mean?

[A]

I think that the fact that they loaded the camera correctly, maybe they had

[B]

very various camera angles. That's it. And I also like that he's seen most action films since 80. This is the one that is. It goes down into me the history of the most confounding five star review. Now, that was, you know, that was a six star review. This is a five star review from April 11, 1999. So it was not made recently. Yes, it was very nice and cool, but my parents. I gotta read it again. Sorry. Yes, it was very nice and cool, but my parents have a small house in the country. My dog has never seen two English and I like videos and music. See you on Monday. Yours sincerely, John Romanski.

[A]

Wow, he's not even talking about the movie.

[B]

Five star review for Double Team. What has happened that this happened?

[A]

It's almost like he accidentally responded to an email or a Facebook post in an Amazon review.

[B]

Yes, it was very nice and cool, but my parents have a small house in the country. My dog has never seen two English. I like videos and music. What is this? I don't even understand.

[D]

You have a couple websites going at the same time, like a couple pages up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

See you on Monday.

[A]

It was a cut and paste mistake, I really feel. Or this is the person who wrote the additional dialogue recording for Double Team.

[B]

You know, this was amazing. I'm very excited that we all got to talk about this. A big thank you to our very special guest, Owen Burke.

[A]

Thank you. Can I just say who the big winner is in double? I wish I thought of this earlier and maybe I don't know. The big winner for Double Team for me is. Are the guys who worked in the studio where they did the adr. Like the overtime that these guys got.

[B]

Well, hey, you know what? We can only see half of his face here. We can put in a whole paragraph right here.

[A]

They really did. If you really watch it, most of the dialogue is done in adr. Even when you see their mouths moving, it's all dubbed. Like, these guys put their kids through college. Their kids got braces, they got summer homes, they got that boat they always wanted. All from the ADR of this movie.

[B]

I 100% agree with you. Because also, here's the thing. The ADR in this movie is all plot. So I don't know what plot they actually shot. I feel like they just shot set Pieces. But that being said, would you recommend this movie? I 100% say rent this. You will enjoy the hell out of it.

[A]

It's awesome.

[D]

It's very wild, watchable and enjoyable.

[A]

Yeah, it's very fun. It's like, you know that turn in a David lynch movie where he changes realities? Like in Lost highway, you're following one group of people, then another. Mahogany Drive, you're following one group of people, then another. This is like that turn, that split second turn. That's the whole movie. You're just like, I don't know where

[B]

I'm going with this, but you are in for the ride. Thank you, guys. Big thank you to Owen Burke. You can listen to his podcast, Owen and tj, Read the news right here on Earwolf. It's super hilarious.

[A]

Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm a huge fan of the show.

[C]

So amazing guests having me.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

We can follow you on Twitter at Owen Burke.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

That was it. Yeah, that was it.

[A]

Plus, it's Owen Burke, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jason, what do you got?

[C]

Hashtag Owen Burke.

[A]

Hashtag prematurely gray.

[C]

Oh, and I'll say it again. Go see Ride Along.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Congratulations.

[C]

I love it. Thanks.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

I really enjoyed my my in theater experience in that June. What do you got?

[D]

My Twitter handle isjunedian.

[B]

And you have something on Redbox, don't you?

[D]

Oh, yeah. Ask Backwards is available on Redbox.

[A]

Fantastic movie.

[B]

And of course, just another reminder, you can get my comic book aliens versus [e-mail] just type in aliens versus parker. That's easy. Or my name. You can find it. It's a cool comic book. I think it's funny. People like it and I think you will too. You can also get it in your local comic book shop. Support independent comic book shops. They're the best. And a big thanks to our engineer, Cody. Thank you very much, Cody. Thank you to all the people that help this show every single week. I'm talking about people like Avril Halley who pulled all of our clips. Nate Kiley who does all of our research. I'm talking about Liana Waldron who does all of our amazing design. And of course, Katie Dyer who does our. How did this get made social media profiles. Oh my God, she's awesome. Thank you guys so much and we'll see you next time.

[A]

Toodle.

[D]

Ooh.

[A]

Geico presents a 30 second podcast between your podcast. Today's story is shared by one of our listeners. It's called Betrayed by Bill. It was in that moment I caught who was staring back at me in betrayal. Or more like what, my insurance bill. With trembling hands, I grabbed my phone and switched to geico, saving about 900 in the process and never to be betrayed again. Now that was bloody riveting.

[B]

It feels good when the story ends with savings. It feels good to Geico. Tired of the same old game night? Switch things up with Chumba casino. Play over 200 free online social casino games, from classic slots in blackjack to exclusive in house favorites you won't find anywhere else. However long you got, you can play

[C]

your way anytime, anywhere.

[B]

Make your next chill night a little more fun with Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary.

[A]

VGW Group Void.

[B]

We're prohibited by log.

[C]

See Terms and conditions for details.

[B]

21.