Hercules in New York LIVE! w/ Abbi Jacobson (HDTGM Matinee)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Hercules in New York LIVE! w/ Abbi Jacobson (HDTGM Matinee)"

Podcast Information:

• Title: How Did This Get Made?
• Hosts: Paul F. Tompkins, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
• Guest: Abbi Jacobson
• Episode: Hercules in New York LIVE! w/ Abbi Jacobson (HDTGM Matinee)
• Release Date: June 3, 2025

---

1. Introduction

The episode kicks off with the hosts Paul F. Tompkins and Jason Mantzoukas setting the stage for their live discussion of the 1969 cult classic "Hercules in New York", featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger in one of his earliest roles. The lively atmosphere is palpable as they welcome their special guest, Abbi Jacobson, known for her role in Broad City.

Notable Quote:

• Paul F. Tompkins [00:00]: "What do you do when you only have two locations, Central Park and a dingy hotel room? You make a movie."

---

2. Initial Impressions

The hosts express their surprise at the obscurity of the film despite its "awesome" qualities, contemplating the necessity of reviewing it multiple times a year due to its intricate discussions.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul F. Tompkins [03:10]: "This movie is awesome. Amazing. I'm surprised I never heard of it."
• Jason Mantzoukas [03:24]: "I feel like this is a movie we could do once a year."

---

3. Character Analysis

a. Arnold as Hercules

A significant portion of the discussion centers on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of Hercules. They debate the authenticity of his performance, noting his struggle to convey emotions and the dubbing choices made due to budget constraints.

Notable Quotes:

• Jason Mantzoukas [10:03]: "But he's meant to be, like, an absolute brat and that this is gonna humble him. But it doesn't really."
• June Diane Raphael [15:03]: "He has a very, very small waist, which I never noticed before."

b. Prezi

Prezi, portrayed by Jason Mantzoukas, is examined as a complex character who interacts with Hercules, leading to discussions about his background, name origin, and psychological state.

Notable Quotes:

• Abbi Jacobson [05:09]: "I thought they were both pseudonyms."
• Jason Mantzoukas [14:34]: "He is a beautiful man."

c. Other Characters: Zeus, Mercury, etc.

The portrayal of gods like Zeus and Mercury entering the mortal world is critiqued for its absurdity and lack of coherence, with humorous comparisons to other fictional universes.

Notable Quotes:

• Jason Mantzoukas [35:27]: "Such a good question. I mean, I still do, you know. My family... everybody wave to."
• June Diane Raphael [33:15]: "It's the backyard of a house."

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4. Plot and Key Scenes Discussion

a. Central Park Scenes

The depiction of Central Park in the film is mocked for its unrealistic portrayal, including cars driving on the lawns and the overall bleakness mirroring New York's late 60s backdrop.

Notable Quotes:

• June Diane Raphael [44:51]: "Yeah. What is that?"
• Paul F. Tompkins [44:37]: "By the way, Central Park looks like shit in this movie."

b. Boat and Airplane Scenes

The hosts discuss the bizarre entry of gods into the mortal realm, including Mount Olympus being reduced to a backyard setting and gods arriving via unconventional means like helicopters and subways.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul F. Tompkins [08:12]: "Attempt ever to be undercover. No, but, like, he's like, I am from Mount Olympus and my father is Zeus."
• Abbi Jacobson [09:00]: "When he arrives, he behaves as though he's still on Mount Olympus."

c. Fight Scenes and Chariot Chase

Highlighting the film's action sequences, such as Hercules fighting a bear and the notorious chariot chase through New York City, the hosts critique the inconsistency and comedic exaggeration of these scenes.

Notable Quotes:

• Jason Mantzoukas [48:16]: "I would love a movie that's based on these two dudes."
• Paul F. Tompkins [50:15]: "The title says it all. Hercules. A strong young man looking to find his purpose in life."

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5. Acting and Direction

The hosts delve into the movie’s direction, particularly the low-budget constraints that led to creative choices like dubbing and limited locations. They humorously compare Arnold’s performance to Tommy Wiseau’s iconic role in The Room.

Notable Quotes:

• Jason Mantzoukas [10:02]: "The problem is Schwarzenegger can't perform any of those emotions."
• Paul F. Tompkins [19:50]: "He has such a depression era mentality that he's like, what's yours is mine."

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6. Themes and Subtext

Discussions reveal underlying themes of immortality leading to apathy among gods and the existential crises faced by Hercules and Prezi. The hosts draw parallels to modern myths and the disconnection between divine beings and mortals.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul F. Tompkins [35:02]: "The gods are bored."
• Abbi Jacobson [35:24]: "There's nothing happening."

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7. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

Throughout the episode, several standout quotes encapsulate the hosts' comedic and critical perspectives:

• Jason Mantzoukas [16:07]: "This is a Tommy Wiseau level performance."
• Paul F. Tompkins [25:37]: "This is a real fish out of water story."

---

8. Guest Highlights: Abbi Jacobson

Abbi Jacobson contributes insightful and humorous observations, challenging the hosts on character motivations and plot inconsistencies, enriching the discussion with her unique comedic flair.

Notable Quotes:

• Abbi Jacobson [08:43]: "Okay, so both were being... you thought both of them were his name."
• Abbi Jacobson [25:09]: "How awesome would it be if Pretzy was also dubbed by Schwarzenegger?"

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9. Fake Critics Reviews

The segment transitions to imagined five-star reviews from fictional fans, satirizing typical positive movie critiques by highlighting absurd praises for the film’s flaws.

Excerpt:

• Paul F. Tompkins: "The hot dog vendor scene is the best. I would pay 300 yen to see that again. The guy chases the horseman and it goes bog. It's awesome, Bo. Five stars."

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10. Concluding Opinions

In wrapping up, the hosts collectively acknowledge the film's unintentional humor and cult status, recommending it for its sheer entertainment value despite its numerous flaws.

Notable Quotes:

• Jason Mantzoukas [75:55]: "You know why it doesn't get a pause? Because this is New York and New York is like no New York. Fuck America."
• Paul F. Tompkins [76:09]: "Watch this movie. Just for Pretzy alone."

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Final Thoughts

"Hercules in New York LIVE! w/ Abbi Jacobson (HDTGM Matinee)" offers a thorough and hilariously critical exploration of a fictional, yet emblematic bad movie. The blend of sharp wit, detailed analysis, and guest interaction makes it both an entertaining and informative listen for aficionados of cult cinema.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you do when you only have two locations, Central park and a dingy hotel room? You make a movie. We saw Hercules in New York. And you know what that means.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How did Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly? Rock a rockstone vest while whipping Justin the Kelly?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Roll?

[Jason Manzoukas]

And take a boat with speed to hitting cruise control J man Big Paul.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In the beautiful June Gonna take the goob all the way to the room Ran the games of Street Fighter Help.

[Jason Manzoukas]

To blow off steam Just a sucker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Punch the odd life of Timothy Green.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sharp needle the bird Demic how we.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Staying alive they call it in the badass and he's on the line cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice Cause the bad Jim Bonnie looking kind nice Paul and June getting literal Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They judge a bunch of movies while.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They making the grade. Here's a real question for you. How did this. That's a good look, Kalu. Hello, people of Earth and hello people of New York City. We are live at Irving Plaza. Very excited to do a live show with you. Oh my gosh. So exciting, so exciting to be here talking about a quintessential New York film. Joining me tonight to talk about this movie, the one, the only, Jason Manzoukas.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Go yourself, New York. What's up, jerks?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Take that Zoox. Take that Zoox.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That better be Zoox and not booze or I will straight up come out there. I will come out there and I will you up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Also join me welcoming my co host, June Dan Rayfield. You got some Junes. Both their names are perfect for booze. They could be booze or not. And our very special guest tonight, you know her from Broad City, please welcome Abby Jacobson.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh my God. Abby.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, well, well, well, well. Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How we doing so far, everybody? Good? We haven't even fucking started.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This movie is awesome. Amazing. I'm surprised I never heard of it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I want to now watch it at least once or twice a year.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I feel like this is a movie we could do once a year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Still have a lot to talk about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's no way we're going to answer all the questions tonight. Okay? So let's just get into it. Abby, your first impression. Cause when you see the poster and you put on the movie, I want to see what everyone thought in the first couple of movies.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's a great idea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was surprised that he kept acting after the movie. This was like introducing. And wait, wasn't it Arnold Strong?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

So I'm like, this was like introducing Arnold Strong. And then he blew up after this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This Arnold also.

[June Diane Raphael]

Where's it gonna be?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The big, you know, also Arnold Stang.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Arnold Stang. Arnold Stang and Arnold Strong together.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, I don't understand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Arnold Stang is the guy with Pretzy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I literally was like, does he go by two names?

[Abby Jacobson]

I thought the same thing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, Pretzy gets a co billing with Arnold?

[Abby Jacobson]

Well, guys, what I thought was that Arnold Strong was the stage name Arnold Schwarzenegger had like chosen. Or he had chosen a name for himself, which was Arnold Strong. And then he had also chosen a stage name which was Arnold Stang.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, so both were being. You thought both of those names. Just to be clear, we're getting in straight out of the gate. Thrilled. You thought both of them were his name, one his credit and won his character name, or both pseudonyms that he was going.

[Abby Jacobson]

I thought they were both pseudonyms.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I did as well. So we are 100% in agreement.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do know a couple facts. Producers thought that Schwarzenegger was an impossible name for anyone to get. So they billed it as Arnold Strong. And Arnold Stang is a very famous actor of the 60s. Yeah, the 60s and 70s.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I disagree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, he is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I respectfully disagree.

[Abby Jacobson]

Whenever we want to talk about Prezzi's apartment in New York, I'm ready. Just. I know, let's table it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But I will talk about Prezzi's apartment. I will talk about his job selling pretzels on the docks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In a basket.

[Jason Manzoukas]

In a basket.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wondered if that's how Pret were originally sold.

[June Diane Raphael]

On a shish kebab of pretzels.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Pretzy's character appears to be from the teens.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think his character jumped like he's a newsy. Just as. Yeah. Hercules came from Mount Olympus. He came from the teens. Like it was. Everything about him was like from a different era entirely. Perhaps the era he was famous in, which is the 20s.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Should we just jump to Prezzy? Cause I do have some facts. So should we maybe just. Cause I do also wanna. Fuck it. Let's jump to Pretzy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, fuck it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here we go. I wanna show you this. This is a picture of Prezi. Now you obviously can't see it cause you're listening to this, but look on his hand. He's got a wedding ring on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So Pretzy is straight up married.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Paul, I disagree. He is a widower. I Buy that. Okay. Don't. Oh, no. Deal with it. Pretzy's wife died, and it's your fault.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Although he might have poisoned her.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah. Ooh. I would do, like, a whole movie about Prezzy. And he's like a fucking.

[Abby Jacobson]

Like, how much money do you think Pretzy's pulling in a day? Like, just a day.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like, what's a day?

[Abby Jacobson]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know. Like, $17 in wooden nickels.

[June Diane Raphael]

There was a moment where they drove from some dock to Central park for $2.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Two bucks.

[June Diane Raphael]

And he couldn't pay for it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Nope. He has no money.

[June Diane Raphael]

And they were so mean to this cab driver. They treat the cab driver $2.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. He only did his job.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Drive them from place to place and then did them the disservice of asking for his payment, at which point, that's.

[Abby Jacobson]

The whole beginning of the movie to me. Which is just like Hercules causing trouble in New York for people who are, like, just trying to do their job.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wrote down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I said, hercules is like, fuck you. You give me safe passage on your boat. Fuck you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I wrote down, Hercules is a straight up villain. He is not likable character. He fights with reckless abandon.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. And. And.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he's real cocky. It's not like, oh, I didn't understand. It's like, oh, we told him to work, and I did not want to work. It's like, it wasn't like I didn't understand, like.

[Abby Jacobson]

But here's the really weird thing about Herc. He.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, are we already going? Herc?

[Abby Jacobson]

Okay, he wants to leave Mount Olympus.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Abby Jacobson]

If I'm correct, Central Park. You mean he wants to leave Mount Olympus because he wants to live the life of a mortal and find adventure and fun?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Correct.

[Abby Jacobson]

And something different.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep.

[Abby Jacobson]

When he arrives, he behaves as though he's still on Mount Olympus and can't understand why people aren't behaving as they would on Mount Olympus. Even though he's set off to go to a different lens, he does not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Attempt ever to be undercover. No, but, like, he's like, I'm from Mount Olympus and my father is Zeus.

[Abby Jacobson]

It almost appears as though he was transported there. He chose to be there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, I think he thinks. I'm not sure. I don't want to speak for her.

[Abby Jacobson]

Don't, don't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But I think he thinks when he arrives, he will be worshipped as the God that he is. And at some point, somebody has to tell him, oh, no, we don't worship the old gods anymore. Or what? Like, There's a part where people are like, what are you talking about? Like, that you are that Hercules. And I think because they keep telling us that Hercules is insolent and he is a bore, and he's like. That's their criticism against him. The problem is Schwarzenegger can't perform any of those emotions.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So even though his lines are like, I want to do this, even though I don't want you to tell me what to do, Father. Whatever. That's my Schwarzenegger. That's as good as it gets. No, no, no, you don't have to. It's not very good. It is not flawless. I disagree. But he's meant to be, like, an absolute brat and that this is gonna humble him. But it doesn't really.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it's weird. It's weird because he also gets into situations right away that are bizarre. He gets on that boat, he's picked up by just a bunch of sailors, and they're like, seamen, and they're. The seamen pick him up and they immediately.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There's a bunch of seamen.

[Abby Jacobson]

And so we're not gonna talk about the airplanes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, we gotta talk about the airplane.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We gotta talk about this plane, bro.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, the real book and the bookend that ties the whole movie together is the two airplane incidents.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah. It's all about plane travel. The movie is a metaphor for plane travel.

[Abby Jacobson]

Right. Well, and it is really interesting, like, how the gods decide to arrive because some of them just, I guess, fall out of the sky, and then others seem to, and some of them fall.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm playing the moment of him waving to the woman. Waving to a woman who is in an airplane. He's very polite to her, very cute, almost like baby wave.

[Jason Manzoukas]

If you told me that this was Prezzie in a wig, I would believe you. As far as I'm concerned, the woman who sees Arnold out the window is from the same era of acting as Prezzy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, let me just say that I.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Think are Don Knott's light.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If I was a director of this movie, which you could be, I could have. I would give three directions bigger.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fight and hands. Because at any given point, it's like, poof. Ah. That's about it. Those are the three emotions. Well, here's what's this woman does them all.

[Abby Jacobson]

But what's even stranger is the flight attendant is called over by her friend, one of her best gal pals. And the flight attendant walks over and immediately starts putting oxygen on his feather hat. Immediately doesn't ask a question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's just by the way they take it down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There's a button that just releases all the oxygen mass for just that seat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've been on an airplane numerous times. I've never seen them go, oh, yeah, you need the oxygen we're going to get for anxiety. Yeah. So he is shot down by Zeus and he lands in the middle of the sea. He's picked up by, like, I think L. Ron Hubbard or who looks like L. Ron Hubbard.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think it's Z. Org.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think it was a Z Org.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yet another movie with a Scientology underlying message.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he's picked up by these seamen and they go, well, we need to get you like a classic. You're gonna now work for us. And then they seemingly don't wanna let him ever go. And I don't know if that's a rule of the sea, that if you find someone in the sea, you get to enslave them forever because. Where are you going? You can't leave us. Yes, you can. You found him in the ocean.

[Abby Jacobson]

Maybe they're worried about mutiny and stuff. Well, wait, I don't know. C rules. I don't know. C rules. I don't know about.

[June Diane Raphael]

He saw something on the boat.

[Abby Jacobson]

Yeah. I don't know what happened there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I'm saying. He was a privy to a lot of deep Scientology stuff. They can't let him go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Can't let him go. They have to be like, no, no, you have to stay here. But I felt like that was like the rules of the sea now that he has to obey the captain because they're basically like, you can't leave until the captain tells you. And he's like, I don't care.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he walks off like, he's like in with like, a sweater around his shoulder and a jaunty cap. Like a.

[Abby Jacobson]

By the way, look, for him, it's basically.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is it Toms of Finland? What's it called? What is it? Tom's of Finland. Thank you, everybody. Look it up. That's exactly what he's dressed like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I said he became a dandy very quickly, like from shirtless and just running around like, oh, I'll wear a layering.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He started layering.

[Abby Jacobson]

I realized when I saw him in that wardrobe that it's. I think it's the best he's ever looked. And here's why. He's so big and there's so many muscles that actually making him more feminine to me made him sexier.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep. Makes it worse.

[June Diane Raphael]

I had a big journey throughout this movie. Please tell Us really questioning my thoughts on Arnold Schwarzenegger's attractiveness. And it was never there before. And there were moments in this movie I was like, maybe. Maybe, you know, interesting. I was like. I think I paused and rewound a couple times to figure it out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was like there was a new part or an old part.

[Abby Jacobson]

Yeah, it was an old timey part.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has a very, very small waist, which I never noticed before. Not necessarily an attractive thing, but I don't know. I noticed he has a delicate, delicate waist.

[Abby Jacobson]

He's a beautiful. He's a beautiful man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm sorry, what? I'm just gonna need you to repeat that.

[Abby Jacobson]

He is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, he's a beautiful man. Arnold Schwarzenegger, quote, unquote, is a beautiful man. June Diane Ranger.

[June Diane Raphael]

Beautiful skin. Beautiful skin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm saying this is the best. I'm gonna go agree with them and say this is the best he's ever looked.

[Abby Jacobson]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He has, right? Thank you.

[June Diane Raphael]

And you really got to see a little bit of vulnerability every time he does this or this. I was like, he's insecure.

[Abby Jacobson]

You know what it is? He is.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's like that in a guy sometimes.

[Abby Jacobson]

I agree. There's something about him where it's like, I actually feel like I saw him.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What? Well, are you talking about? I will say this is a Tommy Wiseau level performance. Watching this movie made me think, in 10 years, Tommy Wiseau might be the biggest actor of all time, because Schwarzenegger traversed that range from absolutely horrid in this movie to unbelievably successful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

First of all, Jason, I think you're mad because obviously this is a movie close to you with your Greek culture guys.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How dare he? How dare he?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You are.

[Abby Jacobson]

Here we go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Dare he you. How dare they bring in this monster from Austria to perform as Hercules, One of the. Oh, God. One of. One of my gods.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will say to go with Abby and June, like, there was a moment, clearly a mistake. When he's on his date and he's walking with her into a lake and he trips. And you could tell it was an Arnold accident, not a Herc accident. He's like. And he just kind of slaps his head like, I'm a big dummy.

[June Diane Raphael]

I feel like he tripped on, like, a wire they were using to film the movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he was just sort of like, meh. I felt like. I was like, oh, I like him. He seems like a very sweet guy.

[Abby Jacobson]

Here's the thing. I think it's that he's not performing the idea of Arnold Here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, there is no idea of Arnold yet.

[Abby Jacobson]

There isn't. And so what you're getting is this. And it's not great, but you're seeing fleeting glimpses of it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, it's really not great.

[Abby Jacobson]

You're seeing aggressively, not just like this young man who's trying to do this thing. And.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, here's the thing. He was 22 years old. He got the job because his agent told the producer he has lots of stage experience on the bodybuilding stage. That's what he said.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So Pumping Iron had not happened yet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is 69. So I think Pumping Iron is later.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, I think so too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he. Cause he had. He bulks up for Pumping Iron. This is when he was at his smallest at this age. But I will show you this. Clearly some people did not think that he could handle the lead of a movie and they dubbed him. So we, I think, all saw the Arnold version. But when this movie was released, this is the version that you saw. I'm gonna play dubbed and not dubbed. Here we go. Okay, here we are.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Pretzy, right? 1930.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Diane and the Psychia are in love with him. I think Hebe is attracted too. Oh, goodness. It just shows you how desperate some women could be.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Guyana and Terpsichore were in love with him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think Hebe was attracted too. No kidding. Just shows you how desperate some women could be.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How awesome would it be if Pretzy was also dubbed by Schwarzenegger? Schwarzenegger's line readings are tragic. There is it. They are so monotone and like that. It's. It's. It's bananas. Watching him struggle through some of these lines was heartbreaking to me. Meanwhile, Prezi is almost. Is almost in reaction to him trying to imbue every scene with so much energy and life that it comes off as if he's a. Don't do that. As if he's a marionette that. Like a Howdy Doody puppet that someone is, like, doing this with.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The director said that because they had such a low budget that they relied on Prezzie's reactions to sell everything.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There you go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because there are so many feats that happen when they get to Central Park. So they can't show you him like, pole vaulting because he's not going to pole vault. So they have to cut his face going the closest you can get to eyes popping out and the tongue going like he is working.

[June Diane Raphael]

Can I ask a question about the Central park scene?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Was the U.S. olympic team.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I had a question.

[June Diane Raphael]

Practicing on, like, A softball field in Central.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep, I believe it was.

[Abby Jacobson]

Are they affiliated with, like, Florida?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it was also labeled as a college team. They were all wearing USA Olympic outfits, and they were just doing traditional Greek, like discus.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Javelin. Pole ball. Yeah, javelin, Long jump. Arnold couldn't even long jump, by the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The guy in the movie couldn't even long jump. That was, like, on short.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was like a shortstop.

[Abby Jacobson]

It was long jump.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why was the professor there watching? That's pretty creepy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The spark guy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Look at these boys working out. Ooh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, the professor, oddly, is obsessed with Schwarzenegger. There's no reason. There's no reason why that professor be like, I'm ticking with him. He's real.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bruce, who here thought he was gonna try and recruit Schwarzenegger for the team? No idea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Nope.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Not doesn't try and recruit him. Just wants to, like, get to know him a little better.

[Abby Jacobson]

I thought, come over for tea. This is what's strange. What? They set up the. The first shot of the professor and his daughter Marianne on the bleachers of Central Park. They were talking about how her boyfriend, who's on the team, is doing really well but isn't paying attention to her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Abby Jacobson]

So it seemed as though, I guess we were to understand that the professor wanted Arnold as a potential mate for his daughter.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Unclear. Because later. Later in the movie, the boyfriend is there with. What are you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You guys are really getting.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Someone said it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That plot analysis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You guys, when they're at the save the cat conventions, these guys go crazy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All is lost. All hope is lost.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fun and games. I loved it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But later, they're in the house and the boyfriend is there, and they're talking about Hercules like he's all of their best friends. And the boyfriend is still there in the picture, even though I'm pretty sure we've seen Hercules on 10,000 dates with the girl.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But by the way, the first time Hercules, like, flirts with her, it's aggressive. It's like, yeah, he's like, in.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he also says.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you go like, that's Schwarzenegger flirting.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I actually have that scene.

[Abby Jacobson]

I didn't mind it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He also.

[June Diane Raphael]

He is your lover, by the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna say, I like this actress. I thought she.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I enjoyed her. Well, she's got two relationships happening at the same time, as well as a very unhealthy relationship with her father.

[Abby Jacobson]

Well, and guys, at certain points in the movie, she just flat out says to Arnold, were you dropped on your head as a baby?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, well. Cause she can Only so many times say, oh, you're always joking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

These are educated people. So after. Because again, he's not hiding it. He's like, I am Hercules, son of Zeus. Even the least learned of us all would go, that's odd. Those are Greek gods. Like, it's not like deep. It's not like, oh, they're really picking an odd one. Like, I don't know who Samson's father is. You know, it's like, this is the main one and they have to really be dumb to it. Here's the flirt scene. Here we go.

[June Diane Raphael]

Is anything wrong?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What could be wrong?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, it's just that you're looking at me so strangely. I feel my hair may be out of place or something of the sort. Everything's crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everything is in its place. You just remind me of someone.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really.

[June Diane Raphael]

Someone you know, A goddess.

[Abby Jacobson]

A goddess?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remind you of a goddess?

[Jason Manzoukas]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And again, cut to Pretzy to underline that it's awkward.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Pretzy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pretzy should have just ripped off his collars every time. Lost the collar, new shirt.

[Jason Manzoukas]

If Prezi had turned into an animated character in the middle of the movie, I wouldn't have noticed. I would have been like, yep, yep, this makes sense. And like, and like an animated. Like an animal. I would have been like, okay, cool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know that Arnold Stang is like, motherfucker. Don Knotts gets all my shit.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I should have been killed in that role.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Three's Company. I would have been great.

[Abby Jacobson]

And this is sort of an overall reaction is that you would think they would take Hercules and put him in a situation in the real world that was uncomfortable for him, like taking care of small children or something. That Hercules. I guess that is Kindergarten Cop.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep.

[Abby Jacobson]

But it's just so strange. He's got this crazy strength in, you know, as in a God. And then he says he's making front.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Page news as a wrestler, and then.

[Abby Jacobson]

He'S a wrestler and he's on the US Olympic team. It's like, yeah, these are. These are all the things he can do. There's nothing. Why not give him about watching that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Make him teach a college course about Greek mythology. Like, hey, you know so much about it. Like, why don't we love your first person perspective.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How about the fact that Prenzi just straight up steals the professor's book about Greek mythology? He's like, ah, what's this? Okay, shove. He has such a depression era mentality that he's like, what's yours is mine. Who cares? I found it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What? I do.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'M pretzy. I don't care. I'm a scamp. I'm a street rat. I'm a river person. Who knows.

[Abby Jacobson]

Beautiful, like Woody Allen apartment in New York.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Here's the thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want to talk about this apartment, but I want to just. Just go to one of the things of the awkward flirting. They. We just saw that scene. And he says, like, you remind me of a goddess. And everyone freaks out. Like, hey, you can't talk to a broad like that. Yeah, well, he's only complimenting her. And then the boyfriend is like, hey, don't talk to my lady like that. It's like, really aggressive.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then constantly being polite. They fight.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then they fight. In the living room.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, in the living room. Which amounts to the boyfriend getting on her shoulders. And that's it. That's the fight. Break it up. Break it up. And, like, it's just like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, now to the apartment. Time for me to blow your mind. It's not an apartment. It's a hotel room.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Prezzi lives in a hotel. What, in, like, a clubhouse?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Prezzi is squatting with Hercules. Cause he says to him, he goes, we gotta make some money with all the bills you're racking up here at the hotel. And then Pretzy's always there, so Prezi's homeless.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Time out, time out. When Pretzy goes at the end of the movie and listens to the radio.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Still in the hotel.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's the hotel. So he's gonna be thrown out of there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna try to pull it up.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, no.

[Abby Jacobson]

Because it has a kitchenette.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know about that. That's crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wrote it down because I knew it was too crazy. I could see if I can find the exact line. But I was like, it's a hotel.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It is what Katie is. Because that dildo's the expert.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's all I need. All I need is one person to agree with me.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, I would have loved to see.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Fuck you. Sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would love to see.

[June Diane Raphael]

See, like, them, you know, all of a sudden, Hercules has, like, a whole wardrobe of human clothes. I would. Would have loved to see that.

[Abby Jacobson]

That's a great scene.

[June Diane Raphael]

A little montage.

[Abby Jacobson]

That's a great scene.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wrote down that, like, he has a camera.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has a lot of things.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Cannot afford any of those locations.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They had three locations. That hotel room at Central park, which was used a lot.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Cause I agree.

[June Diane Raphael]

Entire city of New York on the street.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You would have taken Nothing short.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's no per.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Two weeks for Taylor's to custom make all of the clothes he wears in his.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was like, he got his same outfits, right? The same way the gremlins get outfits. And gremlins too. All of a sudden, they're, like, in page boy costumes. Like, where the. Where are these Gremlins shopping? I guess at the same place that Arnold Schwarzenegger gets his clothes. Because it's, like, on me. It's instantaneous. He's a gigantic man. Those sailors did not have a perfect sweater.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, Po, I'm about to blow your mind.

[Abby Jacobson]

They did just fine.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I grew up as the son of a family of Gremlins Clothes makers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I wanted to talk to you guys about this again. Going back to that awkward flirting scene, the professor goes, we would like to invite you out for some tea.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then he's like, oh, I don't do pretzy. I don't do drugs. Wait, is that a drug term? Has that ever been a term?

[Jason Manzoukas]

What's drug is tea?

[June Diane Raphael]

No one's ever asked me to sit down and drink tea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like, is it, like, tea leaves? Oh, it's a 60s term.

[Jason Manzoukas]

For what? Thai stick for marijuana. Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Me, people? Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The tea is silent. I don't mind saying, you guys are the worst.

[Abby Jacobson]

What do you think? Or I guess when was the moment for Prezi when he decided to really take Arnold on?

[June Diane Raphael]

I know it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

I want to come back to this moment because I was really confused about this fight with this plank and how on the docks. You're on the docks, around the docks, because Hercules. It should have been a lot easier or something. It was confusing. But then there's a moment where Prezi goes back for his hat for Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And sweater.

[June Diane Raphael]

And sweater. And he's like, I got it. And he was like, I'm in.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. I think he saw his moment where he could be the little dog that runs around the big dog and is like, hey, what do you need? Hey, boss.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What do you need? How can I help? Hey, how can I help, boss?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Prezzy is like a downright. Like, an Arthur Miller character. We'll get into his end monologue, but even when he's, like, being harassed by the wrestling guys, he's, like, drinking.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's in a Eugene o' Neill play on the side.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's way darker. Prezi lives.

[Abby Jacobson]

What do you think Prezi gets from Herc?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Companionship, value, life worth living.

[June Diane Raphael]

What if he's needed?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if he opened up a Locket to look at a picture of his dead wife. And it was a Schwarzenegger in a wig. And that was the reason he's like, what if?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know what would have been amazing if. If the whole movie ended with you realizing Hercules never existed. It was all a projection of Prezi. It was a Tyler Durden situation. And then every other person had only been reacting to Prezzie and had been like, what are you talking about? Who's Hercules? But you hadn't seen any of that. And it was called Just Prezzy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just a homeless man sleeping on a book of Greek mythology. And it just kind of seeped in.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It is widely known that Fight Club is based on this movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No spoilers on Fight Club. Jason.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, sorry. But Brad Pitt and his imaginary character at the end of that movie and at the end of the Prestige Twin Brothers. Spoilers for those movies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The one thing that I think the movie does a great job of is letting you know that he Hercules. And here is a.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Can I ask you a question? Who does the best job letting you know that he's Hercules?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a tough one. I'm gonna say Hercules does a great job. And I'm gonna play you right now a mashup of Hercules saying Hercules. Here we go. These are all the times he says it. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know, it's amazing. What I love about that is how many times he says his own name numerous times in the same scene. Which when it's put together like that, you're like, oh, wow. In that one scene, he says it's it four times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's like a sports star who refers to himself in the first person. There's so much to talk about. I want.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You haven't talked about Mount Olympus at all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's get into it.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's a backyard of a house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The most unimpressive Mount Olympus. To a point where they use fog to an effect of like. I guess like that will make it seem bigger. Like the camera pushes through intense fog. But Mount Olympus has nothing on the planet of Pluto, which is just a gate and more fog.

[Jason Manzoukas]

A gate fog. And wait and like. And who. The guy who plays the guy who plays Pluto is insane. That is a portrayal that is next level. Like, crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's amazing. And he says a great line in the movie, like, I hate the Earth. And then all of a sudden you hear honk, honking. Like, literally a cab. Like, they are shooting on the street. They did not. There's a lot of horn honking in Mount Olympus. But you. But the one M. Pluto, you hear honk, honk. And Mount Olympus seems to maybe have four people in it at any given time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah. And they're all. I feel like the stuff, the Mount Olympus stuff felt like almost Zardozy to me very much. You know, like in that way of just like people dressed up in nonsense, standing around like a lawn. And we're meant to believe. We're meant to like, be transported to like. Like, this is Mount Olympus. Like, this is like the most amazing. Like, like the home of the gods.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I get why Herc wants to leave. I'm like, this is boring.

[Abby Jacobson]

I do. And I think that. I think that's the one thing that they were successful in is. And they, they did this in Sardoz.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But.

[Abby Jacobson]

But there's something about being immortal that leaves everybody with just like apathy. Apathy and this weight and there's just. There is nothing happening.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know what?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The gods are bored. The gods are bored.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was thinking, like, we know Greek mythology and I guess there's an endpoint to it. But I guess, like, it's like a TV show that's been canceled. It's still going on for them. They're still having adventures, but we don't know it anymore. Like, the show was canceled. We had a great thing with.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We're not keeping up with their stories.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like, their stories are just weird.

[Abby Jacobson]

Do they think that people, that mortals believe in them anymore?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's. I don't know.

[Abby Jacobson]

Don't know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Such a good question. I mean, I still do, you know. My family. My family raised me. My family right back there. Everybody wave to. My family raised me. Raised me to believe in the old gods. We was slaughter a lamb and offer it up as. Offer its thigh up to Zeus. I love that Mercury arrived in a helicopter. And I love that Pluto arrived via subway underground, in hell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But how did he appear in that helicopter? Because Zeus, I mean Hercules was like shot out and fell into the water. So did he just like get shot into a helicopter or grab onto it?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who knows?

[June Diane Raphael]

This guy seemed to be checking off names and then another guy and he's like, who's that guy?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cause you can fit. So I don't know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess he wasn't on the roster. But that was a real like, kind of shit way to enter. I mean, it's so like. And again, no one does anything about it. Like, well, that guy didn't exist.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There were so many Scenes that were utterly pointless. Yeah, Just I feel like, almost as if to fill time, you know what I mean? Like, why did we need any of that scene with Mercury arriving via helicopter? Didn't need it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. He could have just popped up into.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The hotel apartment because guess what? He flies away outside the window. When he's done. When he's done, he literally jumps out the window of the hotel slash apartment and he flies away. And Prezzi almost loses his mind. This is where Prezzy turns into, like a Don Knotts cartoon character who's like, I gotta have a drink. And it's. It's really Pretzy, guys. Pretzy is on thin ice, mentally.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way. It doesn't seem like Prezi's working anymore either.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You could argue that this entire movie. Yeah, because he doesn't.

[Abby Jacobson]

But Pixi is working as Hercules manager.

[June Diane Raphael]

I got worried in that moment because I was like, no one believes him. No one's gonna believe him.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And no one's ever going to believe him because he ends the movie talking to a fucking radio. It has broken him. He is done. Donezo. Pretzy Dunzo. He should have killed himself at the end of this movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what?

[Jason Manzoukas]

He should have killed himself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We should watch. We should watch his end monologue. This is. I mean, it's amazing because this end monologue, I really did. I was like, whoa, whoa, what's going on here? I feel like they were like, hey, just. You got to do the scenes with Arnold, but we're gonna give you some real moments. Sink your teeth into, like, wait in this.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, is this the radio?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is the radio. Lament into the radio.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that okay, the radio?

[Jason Manzoukas]

What's interesting is the radio when he talks to Zeus through. Not Zeus, Herc through the radio. It's in the. Even the Arnold version. It's the dubbed British man's voice, which means Arnold never recorded those lines ever. They didn't have him. They couldn't get him. So they just kept the British guy's lines in. So when Zeus speaks. I'm not Zeus, sorry. Hercules speaks to Prezi. It is the British guy, which I found utterly perplexing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hold on one second. I have. This is the great technical difficulty.

[Abby Jacobson]

See, I thought that was a choice, that it wasn't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That it was like a beautiful British man's voice.

[June Diane Raphael]

I thought he was gone.

[Abby Jacobson]

Well, I thought it was Pretzy kind of imagining that it was Herc, even though it wasn't Herc's voice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really?

[Abby Jacobson]

Well, yeah, because we've heard Herc. The entire time. Why would there all of a sudden be a different.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if Arnold was, like, said to the director, hey, we got another hour before we have to rap. I'd like to just do this thing. And he just improvises off the top of his head. Because I do feel like he was like, my character needs closure. I need to go forward.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Pretzy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You mean.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, it's fucked up.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm sorry. Hercules should have fucking taken Pretzy with him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or said goodbye.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Or said goodbye. Or said goodbye.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you. Here's a bag of riches and gold for taking me in.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't disagree with you, Paul.

[Abby Jacobson]

Everlasting life.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I won't say that Hercules is a villain, but he is a not thoughtful jerk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why doesn't he, like, bring down one of the goddesses?

[Abby Jacobson]

Just looking at this shot right now. That's not a hotel room.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's a hotel room.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is. So we're gonna watch the Pretzy. The last scene of the movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are, and I think we can go back and talk about other stuff, but I feel like, oh, no, we're so in a pretzel right now.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, I agree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Strongest guy in the world, tying up. But a nothing like me.

[Abby Jacobson]

Who's he talking to?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Boy, he really made me feel like something. A half pint like me. I ain't never gonna forget him. Don't breathe, my friend.

[Jason Manzoukas]

In the memory of leaflet separation may have acquired happiness towards home. Herc, we are friends, you and I, and nothing can take that from us. Herc? Herc, where are you? Herc?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are you doing on my radio? Herc, it's me. It's. It's Pretzy. He knows it's Pretzy. He's talking to him through the radio. Why does he have to let him know?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, would you be surprised if that scene ended with him putting a gun in his mouth? I wouldn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way, I hope that there's kind of a beautiful scene right at.

[Jason Manzoukas]

A point like me. I have. Oh, yeah. Will you go back? Will you open it up? Can we watch the first couple of seconds of this again?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

A half pint like Mayor Campbell, the strongest guy in the world, blah, blah, blah. And now just imagine that it's being played by. This character is being played by a turtle. Okay, now just watch. Just watch. It's a turtle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Strongest guy in the world tying up. But a nothing like me. Imagine. Boy, he really made me feel like something.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, a fucking turtle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He is Wearing tortoiseshell glasses.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I also like. I also like. He's like. He's like, okay, I'm gonna do the scene. And he's like, okay, what's my eyeline? And they're like, oh, the camera's over there. So your eyeline is on the floor over here. The whole shot, he's looking down and off. Well, I think half pint like me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think he's looking. I think the geography of the apartment is that hotel. Sorry. Damn it. That he's looking at the bed. So that's where Hercules slept on the bed. And he's like, really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe.

[Abby Jacobson]

No, no. Because I will throw this out. Watching it now when he's talking to the radio and saying, it's me. Are you in there? Whatever he says, it seems as though he might think Hercules is in there. Like, is in there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, he says, what are you doing in my radio? That is a line in the movie.

[Abby Jacobson]

It's like.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Which would lead you to believe that Pretzy believes Herc is in the radio.

[Abby Jacobson]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just saw for a moment, like, you look sad when you watch that monologue.

[Abby Jacobson]

It's devastating. It is. I don't like when characters have no dignity. I don't. I don't. And so when he says a half pint like me, it's like, oh, it's so sad. It's very sad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe these dock workers were beating him up and he was. That's maybe why he got into it. They beat up a pretzel man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He definitely felt like he needed this friendship like this. For Prezzi, this movie is really about Prezzi. Prezzi has the most interesting arc of the movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, the only arc.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hercules, arguably Hercules just does a series of nonsensical things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not even the Herculean task. Didn't Hercules have, like, tasks?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The one that he did do is fight a bear.

[Abby Jacobson]

Because even when Hercules.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A bear wearing sneakers. Look closely.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I love when he's fighting the bear and the woman that the girl that he's on the date with, the daughter of the professor, goes beat him up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I love that the zookeeper or the police had the wherewithal be like, bear is loose. And this one's known to be surly and dangerous. Not like the other grizzly bears who are polite.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Was it the docile and safe one?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nope.

[Abby Jacobson]

Why was a bear loose? Why was a bear loose?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He just broke out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, he got. Yeah. He just broke out of zoo. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Abby Jacobson]

That's crazy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Central Park Zoo. Central Park Zoo used to be Real loosey goosey.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way, Central park looks like shit in this movie. Like, they drive cars all over, like, the great Lawn and ripping it up.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. What is that?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, this is an era where New York was, like, in the fucking toilet, you know, this is just a couple of years away from, like, Son of Sam, that era of New York where everything is super bleak and difficult. Not like the beautiful city that you all live in now. Hooray, we did it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do we want to talk a little bit? I mean, I want to get into the chariot chase, but I also want to just talk about the wrestling aspect of this movie. Sure. Because.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And the mobsters.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah, Mobsters. So, yeah, the movie was done in 1969, and wrestling could make front page news. I mean, the newspaper spins strongest man wrestler, and then they clearly have no footage of wrestling. They can't afford it. So they just use, like, old weightlifting competition photos, basically. And then they go, okay, yeah, he's a big wrestler now, but we never, ever see him wrestle.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That. And the competition that you think would be between two wrestlers where they would wrestle is just weightlifting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Which is his strong suit.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he loses.

[Abby Jacobson]

Well, and also. Well, because his. His strength has been taken away there by Zeus. But even without his strength.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, by Zeus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nemesis.

[Abby Jacobson]

Nemesis. But even without strength, he still has a lot of strength.

[June Diane Raphael]

He lifts 750.

[Abby Jacobson]

He's still very strong.

[June Diane Raphael]

£50, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. By the way, they took away his strength, but, yeah, that's good. If I could bench just Cold Lift 750, I'm happy with that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Following his strength was a thing that I was confused by, because going back to this board on the docks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do think the board. I think the board on the docks does open it up for a lot of discussion. Go ahead.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was like, hercules should be able to push these guys over on the thing, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

But I understand there was a lot of stunt tricks on the docks of hidden guys over onto the thing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep. Knocking guys had together.

[June Diane Raphael]

Knocking guys heads together. And then the. What is like the next. So the bear being able to beat up a bear. And then the only difference in showing he's weak is this 250 pounds. He can't lift a thousand pounds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. That. Yeah. That was the height of his weakness. Like, you would think that he would get a chance. Like, he never. That's the only time he's weak. And correct me if I'm wrong, the end fight scene in the cardboard factory. He's.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I got great news, boss. I got us a final location. What do we got. Please tell me. Steel mill, a cardboard factory.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He'll be throwing cardboard boxes and cardboard tubes.

[Abby Jacobson]

Oh, you seemed though, Abby. Because when I saw that. When I saw him push that board and all those guys go flying, I did have the thought, like, I think I could. Could do that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Exactly.

[June Diane Raphael]

Me too. So I was like, why is this so hard for Hercules?

[Abby Jacobson]

And why is this the sort of, you know, example of his great strength?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. Well, you would think that if Hercules. Cause Hercules does punch a lot of mortals. At which point I would think their heads would detach from their bodies. That should be what happens.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He still seems like he's struggling on the boat. He's not taking them down with one punch. They're getting back up.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But then he does, which I also can't figure out, like, why does he, like, grab onto the dock lift. The dock worker's forklift? Why does he do that? Why does he stop that forklift? And the guy's like, hey, what are you doing? Let it go. He's like, I like your chariot. Where's the horses? And he's like, hey, guy, what are you doing? What are you doing? And he's just holding for. I don't know why. And then he just lets it go, like, why? Why?

[June Diane Raphael]

But at the moment of his weakness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

He does this thing that I love, which is this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

An aw, shucks moment.

[Abby Jacobson]

Amazing.

[June Diane Raphael]

And over.

[Abby Jacobson]

It was incredible.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's the best, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. When he loses the match, he really gets upset in that halic.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just like Tommy Wiseau. This is a Wiseauian performance.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, he invented the wuzzo and. Yeah. The fight in the cardboard factory. Then. Oh, I guess the chariot race leads to that. So he gets caught up with these mobsters who take Prezi out of the picture. And the mobsters are making a lot of money on weightlifting, you know, and wrestling.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wrestling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But they also had a lot of money on this weightlifting competition.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So. And then it seemed like everyone from their crew was gonna take him down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There seemed about 20 or 30 of them at the end. And they're chasing him through the city. He steals a hot. He steals a chariot from, like, a strong man. I don't know, like, what that guy was doing with a chariot.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Unclear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just a guy with a chariot in New York City was stopping to get a hot dog.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's New York. Yeah. There's a chariot on every corner. Don't worry about it. It's New York.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which leads to your favorite moment of the movie. Also my favorite moment of the movie, which we'll just show for you guys and we'll kind of. So the chariot has been running through the city. Now, clearly, he stole this chariot from a guy who was getting a hot dog. That's all you need to know for this. Here we go. So the wheels fall off just like the movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Look at Pretzy Rock.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where did that monster go with my chariot? I want my Charmion.

[June Diane Raphael]

You will be seeing that moment in frog City Season 3.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wrote down best joke in the movie. It is like a moment of clear genius. It's like, yes. This hot dog vendor is so intent on getting that sauerkraut. He's like, I will not. Like, he has no invested interest in the chariot or this race. But he literally ran. He's doing his miles with sauerkraut on a fork to deliver it. Does not worry about anything. That is a great moment. That is a great moment.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This whole shot feels like a Benny Hill sketch with crazy bazooki music in place of yakety sax. Like, you could play this whole thing and just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And why is. And again, to go back to the chariot. It looks like a Tarzan man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In a chariot. So it's not necessarily connecting a Greek.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He looks like Crispin Glover.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He does.

[Jason Manzoukas]

In a Tarzan costume. His dick's really just, like, right there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's kind of puffed out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At all. Eight yard lines.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I auditioned for the hot dog vendor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way. I respect.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I even wore my chest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hot dog vendor in New York.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's when New York hot dog vendors knew how to dress. Not like the semi homeless that are giving us hot dogs now.

[Abby Jacobson]

But I think the hot dog vendor and Pretzy, like, they are selling pretzels and hot dogs, but they are men of honor. Yeah, absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're lacking something in their life. They need to chase after these weird men.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Ooh. I would love a movie that's based on these two dudes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I. I want to play a game with you guys. I want to play this.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What if this right here had been a scene from Tarzan in New York and there was a whole other movie that took place concurrent, like Rose and Cranston Gilded Sooner Dead together. So this was the only scene they shared.

[Abby Jacobson]

It's also weird that Hercules. I mean, maybe it's not weird. I don't know. But he doesn't ever think to just. Just run like he's got.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Or fly away, which he can do.

[Abby Jacobson]

Although I don't know if he can do it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He has no powers. Oh.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right now he's depowered I'm sorry still, by the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And again, just to talk about. They're tearing up Central Park. I mean, that was like. Someone's like, yeah, yeah, fuck it. I don't care. Shoot in there, drive cars, put a horse there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is when Central park was a. Basically like New York's toilet bowl, I think.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, they got that Central park location for two bags of heroin.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Two bags of tea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The tea is silent, though.

[Jason Manzoukas]

E.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's my game for you guys. I'm gonna play you a clip. You tell me what Arnold Schwarzenegger is saying. This is for the big. This is a big come to Zeus moment. Here we go. Mighty Zeus has more wisdom than Hercules. He knew better what is best for him.

[Abby Jacobson]

Mighty Zeus.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Mighty Zus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, let's see what you guys think. Anyone know?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, gobbledygook. Literally.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna play it one more time. Mighty Zeus has more wisdom than Hercules. He knew better what is best for him.

[June Diane Raphael]

What was best for him.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He knew better what was best for him. Father of her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

More wisdom. Let's take a look at the British version. Here we go. So here we go. Get the full explanation. Mighty Zeus has more wisdom than Hercules. He knew better what is best for him. There we go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He knew. Oh, boy. This movie is for. Wait, do you have Mercury?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know if I have a Mercury. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did anybody. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I could really show this entire movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I have a question for the audience. Did anybody think that Mercury sounded like anybody else? I wish we had a clip. The guy playing Mercury sounds exactly like Adam Scott.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Before Adam Scott was born.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, one quick thing, and then I'll go to the audience to get some questions in here. Did anyone notice what was weird when they sent Samson down to the fight?

[Jason Manzoukas]

He had short hair.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anyone? Yes. Samson spoke the Bible, not Greek mythology. No one was doing the fact checking on that one. Yeah, yeah. Send it to Samson and Noah, too. Get Noah involved.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Get all the strongmen. Anybody who's strong, from any kind of mythology. Send Thor down. I don't know, by the way, why.

[Abby Jacobson]

At the end of the movie, Zeus wants to. Zeus does travel to mortal land.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He flies as a Hasidic man. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On the planet. Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He flies down like he. Like he's.

[Abby Jacobson]

But does he go down? Because it sounded.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Abby Jacobson]

And was it fun?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Well, he gets all, like, jazzed up by, like, I want to go have a horny adventure. Cause that's what Zeus does. Zeus goes to Earth, he fucks a bunch of Earth broads. Has a bunch of women, has a bunch of children, some of whom gestate in his thigh. It doesn't matter. And then he has all these. That's why Juno. Although Juno is not his wife. Isn't Hera his wife?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hera's his wife.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who's Juno?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is she.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, guys, guys, I'm gonna need you to elect a spokesman.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ellen Page. Ellen Page is Juno.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Guys, you need to stop freaking out. I understand two thirds of you are classics majors, and you need for us to know how smart you are. But relax, all right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna come to the audience for some questions. Here we go. Sir, let's start with you. All right, all right. When the microphone comes to you, you can talk out loud. All right? So here we go. In your best Schwarzenegger, say, I am Hercules. Or actually, yeah, say I am Hercules, then your real name, and then your question. Here we go. I am Hercules. Great.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really good. Really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My name's Rick. And do you think the wheel falling off in the chariot scene was deliberate or completely accidental? Ooh, great question.

[Abby Jacobson]

Great question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like everything in this movie was accidental. And that chariot lasted way longer than they thought. All right. Okay, sir, you gotta go your best Hercules, and then. And if you're back here, come to me. So here I am, Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was not good. My name's Brett.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I was just wondering.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They shot a lot of scenes during the day, but made them nighttime. And the editing person was terrible at doing that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, there's one scene when Mercury visits him in that room. Those curtains are, like, bound to the walls. Like, that was clearly daylight.

[June Diane Raphael]

Pluto says, you can tell by how dark it is out, and it's clearly like daytime.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then in the middle of their conversation, Hercules is like, I'm gonna take a shower, and starts to undress with Mercury in Pretzy in the room, which is weird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's a question. How many days did this movie take place over. Oh, wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

One week or four years?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, your best Hercules. Your name, your question. I'm Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really good. Really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pretty good.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know what? Half of that line is dudes who are like, I've got a pretty good Hercules impression. I'll think of a question while I'm online.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, my question's about Prezzy, who actually is famous. He was top cat. He was encouraged to Cowardly Dog, but he was also in the movie Ghost Dad. Like, and he played almost the exact.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Same role he would just in the Bill Cosby movie. Oh, wow. Yeah. Ghost dad directed that late? So he's still alive in, like, the 80s?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Kurt's friendly dog was 2002. So he's around. And so my question is. Wait, he's still alive. All right, so my question is.

[Abby Jacobson]

He.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just said he was alive in 2002.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, Prezzi died in 2002. Is that what you said he was?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

His key played a character in 2002. Okay. That was the last time we saw him.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Got it. Got it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anyway, my question is, do you think Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier were sitting around watching this movie just looking at, like, that guy? That's the guy who we need in our movie reacting to a face.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You want us to analyze the thoughts of Bill Cosby?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Yes, I do, sir.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I just want to make sure that's the question you're asking right now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was Bill Cosby thinking in casting? We'll never know. We'll never know. I did hear he took a meeting with the actress in this movie, though. Oh, too soon, too soon, too soon. Gotta wait for another 40 people to come out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Too soon.

[Abby Jacobson]

Let's get some.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ladies, if you're a lady, you can come to the front of the line. All right, Come over here, ladies.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Ladies, ladies, come on.

[Abby Jacobson]

I do want to say that I think that Pretzy did a great job.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, my God. Ladies just jumped. Holy shit. Paul, are you okay? Look what just happened.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ladies, we're gonna have to go back to some guys in a second too. All right, here we go. Your best Schwarzenegger. Your question. I am Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, I'm Amanda, and I just want to hold the mic.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you grabbing at that mic, Amanda? Hey, Amanda.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe I like to hold it this close. Is that. Is that okay?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Amanda, we're gonna need you to let go of that mic. Question is, you guys have have not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Addressed the fact that this looks like, what, low budget porn towards the end of it. Like, I just kind of want to know your thoughts on that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Do you watch a lot of low budget porn? Amanda, go back to your seat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Go back. Go back, Amanda. All right, we have a lot of ladies now. We gotta go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Ladies, we don't all have to grab the mic, okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're bet we're gonna get to a lot of you. We're gonna get to a lot. Here we go. Not everybody, but a lot. Here we go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Paul, if you need help, you just let us know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was a little scared.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did you feel uncomfortable or scared?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was a little scared there. All right. Your best Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But I love that all you did was say, like, how about some ladies? Next thing you know, you're drowning in titties. What's going on?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You just have to yell that in a crowded place.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm gonna try that later.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Best Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was adorable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Get ready for it. I am Hercules. Good. You know what we're gonna get? We're gonna figure out who's gonna ask this next question by. Oh, that's great. Somebody's showing me a picture which we'll not read on the podcast, but it's of a turtle with glasses and it looks like Pretzy. Send that to us.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That girl gets it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The best Hercules impression gets asked this next question. Here we go. You already did yours. Do it one more time. I am Hercules. I am Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That is terrible. Okay. Terrible.

[Abby Jacobson]

Oh, it's good. I am Hercules. I am Hercules.

[June Diane Raphael]

I am Hercules.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I am Hercules. I am Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I could do this for an hour. Just girls saying I am Hercules is legit. One of the most erotic things I've ever heard in my life.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that was tough. They were all very good.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really?

[June Diane Raphael]

I like the eyelid.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you want to speed through their questions?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, here we go. Speed through your questions. Here we go. So, Pretzy, we don't know his last name at all. I don't think.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you think his first name is Pretzel?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not his given name. Pretzy is not his given name. So when he's signing the contract, those.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Three goons are like, hey, sign this contract, Pretzy. The answer, Pretzy. He either signs it Pretzy, P, R.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

E, T, Z, Y, or he just draws a pretzel. Oh, he draws a pretzel. I like that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, go to your seat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Super quick.

[Jason Manzoukas]

One word. Speed, Round.

[Abby Jacobson]

Turtlenecks.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Turtlenecks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Turtlenecks.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Go to your seat. Done.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here we go. We're busting.

[Abby Jacobson]

All right, so my question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wanted to know what you guys thought about the mobsters. I know we touched on the mobsters. They drive station wagons. That is not a mobster car.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And don't have guns.

[Abby Jacobson]

Just cigars.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Don't have guns.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're ready to duke it out at a moment's notice. All right, here we go. Joey, someone asked your question.

[Jason Manzoukas]

If you've asked your question, sit down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So do your Hercules and then talk about John Candy. Gonna be hard without moving my face. Face.

[Jason Manzoukas]

To do it appropriately. Move your face then. Weirdo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know why I didn't say him not to move his face.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh. What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't Never told him not to move his face.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So feel free. Oh, yeah, you're putting future Hercules impressions.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Feel free to move your face. He doesn't move his face. Why should I? Here we go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I hate you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Question revoked.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Question revoked.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Haha. All right, wait, wait. What do you mean? He's very impassioned. What do you mean? This is a subject of Internet debate that I want you to clarify.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is John Candy in this movie, in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That very first scene when he's shaking his fist right in front of the camera at a man hanging off of the ship? That is. 50% of Google searches say yes, John Candy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

50% say no. Okay, we're gonna settle this right now. Sit down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, I need to have moved on. The John Candy debate will never be solved.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We will never. We know. We're not telling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This was, by the way, telling people to get out of their seats was a terrible idea.

[Abby Jacobson]

Terrible ide.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You have been.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Terrible idea. Bombed will not do this.

[Jason Manzoukas]

For those of you listening at home, Paul is currently being attacked.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sea of people.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, see, the difference between New York and LA is la. Nobody wants to get nobody New York. Everybody's like, I need to talk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I love it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know what? This show needs me talking into a microphone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who? Here we're gonna do two more questions. Who believes in their questions? So everyone in la. Hands go down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, we got a speed round.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, speed around. Speed. Okay, so the. The phone. The IMDb description says that Hercules is.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sent to Earth where he finds true love.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I already hate it. Sit down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no, no, no. You gotta get. You gotta. From here on in, the question's gotta be real quick.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really, it's gotta.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is the true love that girl or Pretzy?

[Abby Jacobson]

Great question.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. June.

[Abby Jacobson]

Pretzy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, moving on, moving on, moving on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm trying, I'm trying. The.

[June Diane Raphael]

The man in the bear suit or Nick Cage in the bear suit in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wicker man who wins in a battle.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, sit down, sit down, sit down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Prey, by the way, is going to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Brooklyn to buy his pretzels and then.

[Abby Jacobson]

Returning to the docks to sell them.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Don't we think the docks are in Brooklyn? Aren't the docs. Are we on the Red Hook docks? What docks? Are we at? Queens.

[Abby Jacobson]

Is he at Queens here in Central Park? Two seconds later, I will say that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My favorite line in the movie is, he goes, these pretzels, heaven of the food of the gods. He goes, oh, that's real funny. That's the name of the bakery that I get it from.

[Abby Jacobson]

By the way, I enjoyed that whole scene in the cab ride about a party.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, one more question because we got a. Okay, all right, I'm gonna go to you.

[Abby Jacobson]

Given that this movie came out in 1969, what did the characters of Mad Men think of it when they saw it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A very good question. I was thinking about that today, as a matter of fact.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well done, everyone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sit down. Everyone sit down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well done.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, so obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are some people that disagree. These are second opinions.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Second opinions?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

These are opinions that five star reviews culled from Amazon about Hercules in New York. Okay, Hot dogs, pretzy and airplanes. What can I say? The title says it all. Hercules. A strong young man looking to find his purpose in life. Being judged by his father. Well, this doesn't make grammatical sense. Being judged by his father is hard enough, so he moves to New York and creates havoc in the big city. The hot dog vendor scene is the best. I would pay 300 yen to see that again. The guy chases the horseman and it goes bog. It's awesome, Bo. Five stars. You know why the bog is in there? This is. This is another good one. This is from Arnold. Fan.

[June Diane Raphael]

Of Arnold Schwarzwa.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This film will make you appreciate why Arnold Schwarzenegger is the greatest and still is the greatest of all time. His phenomenal aesthetic mass at 6:1 tall is clearly evident in this film. Most competitive bodybuilders today are between 55 and 58 and look horrible.

[Jason Manzoukas]

5 stars.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is from Frieda Tarverson. This movie is my favorite. I don't like people seeing it as a joke. It's a good film. Arnold's first all in Caps. A cool film indeed. Hercules is bored and he wants to go down to New York. And he finds it hard to fit in because of his enormous strongness.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's a real fish out of water story.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My favorite quote in the film is when he talks to the coach and says, I want to show them how to throw the discus. And the coach says, you don't say. And Herc says, I do say. That is great. Another good thing in this film. Just pure fighting. No overdriven, explosive things like in Eraser or Red Scorpion or Universeel Soldier. Not to say it's bad, but sometimes you get tired of those things. TAYORED T I E R D this is a way cooler five stars. And finally, the review is titled A cult film for bodybuilding Fanatics. This film's a must for those who love bodybuilding. Elders. It's actually a comedy. But every five minutes or so, you get to see Arnold take off a piece of clothing and flex. This is his first film, so his bod is much more beautiful than any other film. You'll never see a more beautiful male body in any film. Five stars. Wow. That is the second.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And that user's name was Creepy Weirdo. Right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anything that we didn't cover that you guys feel like we need to talk about?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, there's so much. Oh, the whole convers. I love when they get. This is just like highlights that we didn't get to. They get in the cab on the docks. They drive. They do the whole scene before the cab driver goes, where you going? They've been. And he goes, oh, we're in Central park right here. They've already taken the ride without giving him any direction.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it looks like the sketchiest part of Central Park. I was like, oh, Prezzie will now murder Hercules.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know, I love this other movie. And we reminded me of this coming to America.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? There's a lot of similarities that. You say it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're. You're saying in that movie Arsenio hall is pretzy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. I don't know. It cuts back to the dad, and.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He'S like, you're right. I think there's a lot of similarities. But to June's point, he goes out of his comfort zone. He works at McDowell's here. It would just be like the prince just beating people up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Abby Jacobson]

My last stray thought is, do you think Prezzy was nicknamed Prezzy or started calling himself Prezzy?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Nicknamed. I bet dock workers. I bet dock workers were like, hey, Pretzy. Like, because he's been there for years and they never bothered to learn his name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think it's like this. I think he's like. He's like, you know, somebody buys a pretzel from. He goes, hey, and if you want, you can call me Pretzy. Cause I sell pretzels. I'm the pretzel guy. Pretzel, Pretzel. All right, man. Thank you. I think he's giving it to himself and forcing it on other. I'm prey.

[Abby Jacobson]

Prey's a pretzel guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's how you remember me.

[Abby Jacobson]

Freaks me out so much.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Prey. When the mobsters show up to threaten prey, and they're like, you better sign this contract. Prey. That scene, also very sad for Prezi.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's drinking and shaking so much. The director of this film was asked.

[Jason Manzoukas]

To your point why did you do this? Why did you do this to us? How dare you? This is a war crime.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was paid a dollar.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He was asked, is it a war crime to have done this movie? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Have you no honor, sir? These are all questions he was asked.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was paid $1,000 a week to direct and said, are you surprised that Schwarzenegger ever worked again after this movie? And he said, yes, very.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's what I mean. The idea that, that this performance exists from a man who is responsible for many of the highest grossing movies of all time is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, that was shocking.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is shocking. And a governor and a married Kennedy.

[Abby Jacobson]

But I watch it very closely. There are glimpses of an actor in there and I actually, I do think, I mean, I mean, of course it's a troubled performance, but there are moments and I think you saw them too. There are moments where you see this like, beautiful open face and you want to cast him again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I ask this question? Is it fair to say that most movie stars, like the biggest of biggest movie stars, you're going to see them and their personality. And I think that that's what shined through here. It wasn't about the acting. You want to see a well pursuit movie. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're seeing charismatic, whatever that lies beneath. Got it. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's got it. He's got it. Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Because he like has dead eyes and like a placid face. He appears to be a buffoon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This movie was made in 1969. He just released a low budget indie movie where he plays the father to a zombie daughter. Still doing it. Yep, Non stop.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, still doing it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

God bless. This guy. Is the American dream. Even though he's.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. Oh, for sure, for sure. He is. It's. It's unbelievable what he's accomplished. Some applause for the American dream.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, America.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know why? You know why it doesn't get a pause? Because this is New York and New York is like no New York. Fuck America.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think we, I think we'd all agree that you would say, watch this movie, right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Watch it. Watch it. Yeah.

[Abby Jacobson]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Watch this movie. Just for pretzy alone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, thank you guys for being here. But before we go, you can take your pictures now. But as you're taking your pictures, anything that anyone wants to plug, we can do a plug line there.

[June Diane Raphael]

I just, I put a bunch of stuff up on Craigslist side tables and some lamps and stuff. So just check it out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I like our, like. Oh, yeah, we'll give you a good post. We'll pose as we are letting you guys take pictures.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm really gonna fuck it up for people who are trying to take pictures. I'm gonna be much taller than everybody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would like to plug my new web series called Sheer Rl, which is. Oh, thank you. Which is recreations of MTV's TRL. And there you go. Terry Crews Diddy, Brett Gelman as Marilyn Manson, Kumail Nanjiani as Mariah Carey, and a lot more. June.

[Abby Jacobson]

I will plug the Netflix show I'm on Grace and Frankie, which is out and see it now. It's really great.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And Jason, but just, you know, follow me on Twitter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, great. Oh, are you on Twitter now?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Not on Twitter, guys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, jeez. Abby, what's your name on Twitter?

[June Diane Raphael]

It's just my name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There you go. You can follow her, too.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did it. Yeah, did it early on. Not very clever.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I'm just. My name, too. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jason's not on it. And you are what at Miss. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Whoa.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Be cool, Jude.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't worry, I'll get half her money. Look at that. Boom. It's right there. Ms. June. Diane. A big thank you to Avril Halley, who cut all these amazing clips. Our researcher, Nate Kiley. Dave, who is up on the board. Everybody, here at Urban Plaza, thank you. Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You can follow us on Twitter, though, @hdtgm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's all the initials out of this get made. And if you have a correction or omission, put it on the earwolf board. We'll read it in the mini episode. Thank you guys for coming. The best outro of all time. Give it up for Abby Jacobson. She was amazing. Give it up. Jason Manzoukas. Jim. Diane Ranfield. Thank you guys so much. New York.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Good night, New York City.