Jason X LIVE! w/ Rob Huebel & Jenny Slate (HDTGM Matinee)

Summary

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How Did This Get Made? — “Jason X LIVE! w/ Rob Huebel & Jenny Slate (HDTGM Matinee)”

Date: October 14, 2025
Recorded live at: Largo at the Coronet, Los Angeles
Guests: Rob Huebel, Jenny Slate

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Episode Overview

The HDTGM crew takes on the cult classic/horror oddity Jason X for their Halloween episode, joined by returning favorites Rob Huebel and Jenny Slate. As always, Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas gleefully dissect this 2001 entry in the Friday the 13th franchise, notorious for sending Jason Voorhees into outer space—resulting in a film that's equal parts baffling, hilarious, and cheesy. The panel cracks wise about the production, the bewildering plot, and (as always) the endless list of franchise inconsistencies, plus field questions from the live audience.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. First Impressions & Jason Lore Confusion

• Zero Jason Expertise: None of the hosts or guests (except partial credit to Rob) claim deep knowledge of the Friday the 13th franchise. As Jason Mantzoukas puts it:

  “A lot of my notes are reminders to ask you guys or the nerds what the myth... It took me until the very end... oh, right. No, Jason is the main character.” [06:39]

• Alien Redux: The panel repeatedly points out the movie feels like a cheap knock-off of Alien, swapping the Xenomorph for Jason. June:

  “The person watched Alien, rewrote it, and instead of an alien, it was Jason. And they were like, that's the movie.” [07:16]

2. “Space” as the Ultimate Horror Franchise Gimmick

• Joking about horror franchises fleeing to space for new ideas, the hosts compare Jason X to "Leprechaun in Space" and speculate that their own podcast may have inspired "Fast & Furious in space":

  “Space heightening. That's just heightening. Where else do we go?” [08:05] “I'll take it... I believe we mentioned that it should be in space in our podcast.” [08:28]

3. Guest Stories & Franchise Trivia

• Rob Huebel’s Jason Prank (and injury): Rob shares a story of attempting to scare his friends at a summer camp with a mask and hatchet—but instead runs, full-speed, into a rusty clothesline:

  “I ran into a clothesline. Like, an old rusty wire. Full speed… I can run like 60, 70 miles an hour.” [13:44]

• Jason Franchise Recap: June attempts to clarify the mythology—revealing many inconsistencies, including:

  • Jason's mom as the killer in the original
  • Jason in a sack mask before the iconic hockey mask
  • Resurrection via lightning and telekinesis
  • The non-canonical status of “Freddy vs Jason”

4. Film’s Logic and Bizarre Details

• Jason’s Powers & "Motivation":

  • Panel struggles to define what Jason even is (ghost? mutant? monster?), making existential jokes throughout:

    “Does Jason. What is Jason? Which for me is an existential note.” [22:29] “It's as if Jason Voorhees is Wolverine.” [22:11] “Is he a ghost? Is he dead? Does he have a soul?” [22:23]

  • They highlight the illogical jump to freezing Jason due to his supposed regenerative abilities.

• Dialog & Plot Absurdities:

  • The infamous “I want him soft” line from the scientist:

    “The scientist goes, this is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard. I want him soft.” (19:48)

  • Complete lack of communication among ship’s crew; inconsistent logic in handling Jason as a threat.

• Overt Sexuality & Nipple Gags:

  • Both the robot’s detachable nipples and horny crewmates get lengthy comedic analysis:

    “Her nipples fall off like your refrigerator lost magnetism.” [45:40]

  • Panel jokes that Jason is awakened and targets people mid-coitus:

    “Apparently this man climaxing is what awakes Jason. He doesn’t like horniness.” [39:50] “He doesn’t hate fucking. He hates teens. That fuck.” [40:04]

5. Design, Costumes, and 2001 Futurism

• Everyone riffs endlessly on the costuming, noting how a supposed 2455 spaceship crew sports belly shirts, velour, and “current-day negligees”:

  “You would assume everyone in 400 years in the future would dress like people in 2002.” [89:11]

• Jason's mask is discussed as a relic, with jokes about hockey being outlawed—and the crew's inability to recognize a “hockey mask” after several centuries.

6. Production Quality & Special Effects

• CGI and practical effects are mercilessly roasted, especially “digital blood” and “ant/robot/nanotech” scenes:

  “It’s not just nanotechnology. It’s just ants… They cut to an extreme closeup, and it’s just bugs.” [58:58]

• On VR/holodeck scenes:

  “Jason is able, without his own set, without anything, to participate in the game.” [53:12]

7. Franchise Fatigue and “Second Opinions”

• During the “Second Opinions” segment (77:04), they read Amazon user reviews full of misplaced fandom and odd priorities, including:
  • Five-star reviews solely for body count and nudity.
  • One reviewer correcting others about Jason's mask and his "big dick."
  • A reviewer celebrating a character finally picking up a dead guy’s gun.

8. Audience Q&A Highlights

• Fans grill the panel about the (illogical) science of freezing Jason, the mechanics of his reanimation, and Jason’s ability to silently sneak up on people—prompting a “JFK conspiracy” joke about multiple Jasons:

  “There has to be another Jason on the grassy knoll.” [72:10]

9. Classic HDTGM Tangents

• Numerous ad breaks, improv riffs about Alexa and fake names, and callback references to other bad movies (Virtuosity, Miami Connection, Troll 2).
• Jason Mantzoukas jokes about all their listeners’ Alexas being triggered by their references:

  “Alexa, play Steely Dan… Alexa, let the bodies hit the floor.” [73:21–73:40]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|----------|-------| | 06:39 | Jason Mantzoukas | “A lot of my notes are reminders to ask you guys or the nerds what the myth... It took me until the very end... oh, right. No, Jason is the main character.” | | 07:16 | Jason Mantzoukas | “The person watched Alien, rewrote it, and instead of an alien, it was Jason. And they were like, that's the movie.” | | 13:44 | Rob Huebel | “I ran into a clothesline. Like, an old rusty wire. Full speed… I can run like 60, 70 miles an hour.” | | 19:48 | Jason Mantzoukas | “The scientist goes, this is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard. I want him soft.” | | 22:11 | June Diane Raphael | “It's as if Jason Voorhees is Wolverine.” | | 22:29 | June Diane Raphael | “Does Jason. What is Jason? Which for me is an existential note.” | | 39:50 | June Diane Raphael | “Apparently this man climaxing is what awakes Jason. He doesn’t like horniness.” | | 40:04 | Rob Huebel | “He hates fucking teens. He doesn’t hate fucking. He hates teens. That fuck.” | | 45:40 | June Diane Raphael | “Her nipples fall off like your refrigerator lost magnetism.” | | 89:11 | Jason Mantzoukas | “You would assume everyone in 400 years in the future would dress like people in 2002.” | | 72:10 | Shirley (Jason Mantzoukas) | “There has to be another Jason on the grassy knoll.” |

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Audience Questions — Selected Moments

• On Repeated Jason Executions:
  Audience points out Jason is said to have been executed by electricity, firing squad, and hanging, before jumping to cryofreezing—sparking general disbelief (65:08).

• On Jason's Teleporting:
  Audience notices Jason appears to teleport, showing up in rooms with zero explanation (69:59–71:24).

• On “Celery Regeneration”:
  A fan swears a nurse robot says “celery regeneration” instead of “cellular regeneration,” to much laughter (66:32).

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Final Verdict: Is Jason X a Fun Bad Movie?

• Most panelists agree that while Jason X has some self-aware, goofy moments, there are “better” bad horror movies (Season of the Witch, Leprechaun in the Hood, Miami Connection).
• Costume design and sheer absurdity recommended, but not “must see”:

  “It's fine. There are better… If you don't watch it, I think you're fine.” [88:25, Shirley]

• Rob recommends not watching it while sleep training your baby (“very niche angle”).
• General consensus: fun for fans of the absurd, but not gold-standard so-bad-it’s-good cinema.

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Other Highlights

• Kane Hodder Anecdote: Rob shares a story of Jason actor Kane Hodder charging a toddler $20 for an autograph, with commentary on the actor’s “sour disposition” due to being replaced in Freddy vs Jason (51:10–76:09).
• Alexa and Tech Tangents: The crowd and panel continually riff on triggering Alexa devices with jokes, alongside lampooning the film’s nonexistent tech logic.
• Jason’s Machete Obsession: Ample jokes about potential spin-offs: Jason in the Hood, Jason on Safari, Jason at NASCAR, etc. (59:16).

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 06:00 — What is Jason X? Initial thoughts & confusion
• 13:44 — Rob Huebel’s camp story and Jason mask injury
• 24:01 — Detailed rundown of Jason franchise/canon by June
• 39:50 — "Climax awakens Jason" + teen horniness kills
• 45:40 — Robot nipple gag; practical vs CGI effects debate
• 53:12 — Jason in VR/Holodeck segment
• 59:16 — Rejected ideas: Jason in the Hood, Arctic, etc.
• 77:04 — “Second Opinions” dramatic Amazon reviews
• 87:03 — Would you recommend Jason X? Panel final opinions

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The HDTGM Language & Tone

Unabashedly silly, quick-witted, and irreverent. The panel swings from plot dissection to absurd tangents, never shying from crude humor or poking fun at themselves as much as the film.

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In summary:
This Jason X episode of HDTGM is a wild ride through sci-fi/horror nonsense, gleefully shredded by a panel of comedians and their live audience. The episode is bursting with gags about nipples, franchise fatigue, future fashion, and the eternal mystery: “What is Jason?” Watch the movie only if you’re ready for a lot of laughs (from the podcast), some cringing (from the movie), and a spaceship crew with questionable taste in both technology and crop tops.

Transcript

[Paul Scheer]

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[Jason Mantzoukas]

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[Paul Scheer]

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[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, everybody.

[Paul Scheer]

Before we start today's podcast, I want to let you in on a little thing here. Before the shows, we normally play the trailer of the movie we're about to talk about. It figures very prominently into today's show. The trailer. So I want to play you the trailer right now so you understand a.

[June Diane Raphael]

Reoccurring joke that happens throughout this podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

Enjoy.

[June Diane Raphael]

In the year 2455, on a routine training mission, a team of students is about to discover a life form frozen in time. Wow.

[Audience Member]

They're on their way back.

[Rob Huebel]

Prepare for Donkey and power up the lab.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You brought him on board?

[June Diane Raphael]

Everything's under control, ma'.

[Shirley]

Am.

[June Diane Raphael]

What the hell is going on?

[Audience Member]

Jason Voorhees, that's what's going on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's an unstoppable killing machine.

[June Diane Raphael]

Guys, it's okay. He just wanted his machete back.

[Audience Member]

How do we get off the ship?

[Rob Huebel]

I don't know.

[Shirley]

Look, we're going to be all right.

[Audience Member]

What are you high?

Oh.

[June Diane Raphael]

He'S here.

[Audience Member]

You have got to get.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Get them out of there.

[Audience Member]

Hey, Slappy.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think we're finally okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What the hell is that?

[Audience Member]

You've got to be kidding me.

[Shirley]

Oh, wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's been modified.

[Audience Member]

A you think you guys might want to run.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let the body sh. The throat. Let the body set the throat. Let the go by go by go fly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think he's out there. Why don't you just stick your head out and have a peek.

[June Diane Raphael]

In space? No one can hear you say eh, we saw Jason 10 so you know what that means.

[Mike]

How did Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly? Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin the Kelly? Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crow and take a boat with speed to hitting cruise control. J man Big Paul in the beautiful June gonna take you from the goob all the way to the room Ran the games in Street Fighter Help to blow off steam Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green sharp NATO the birdemic how we staying alive they call it in the badass and he's on the line cranking 8 minutes cause they cool as ice Cause the bad Jim Bonnie looking kind and nice Paul and June getting literal Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid. They judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade. Here's a real question for you. How did this get made?

[June Diane Raphael]

Hello people over and hello people of Largo. We are live here in Los Angeles at Largo at the Cornet, our LA home. And we love this place. It's so fantastic. If you're in la, come check out a show here. Not just our show, but the many amazing shows that are here. We have an amazing audience, a ten o' clock audience. I know the people at home, they don't know what that difference is. But you guys bring the heat. You're a little bit more drunk, you're a little bit more alive. And we appreciate it.

[Rob Huebel]

We need it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Because today is our Halloween episode. And what better way to see celebrate Halloween than with the death of a franchise? Here to talk to me tonight about this film is my co host, Jason Manzoukas. Welcome.

[Shirley]

What's up jerks?

[June Diane Raphael]

Welcome, Jason.

[Shirley]

Thank you, Paul.

[June Diane Raphael]

Jason, a movie of your namesake.

[Shirley]

Oh, thank God. Finally. Finally. All of the requests for this movie franchise to be talked about so that my name can be in it have been answered. And here we are, Jason X. Now, the movie about Jason Voorhees and Malcolm X combined into so many people.

[June Diane Raphael]

So many people had the Jason X, Pat.

[Shirley]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

So many people. Jason, where do you fall in the Friday the 13th when I tell you zero? Yeah.

[Shirley]

A lot of my notes are reminders to ask you guys or the nerds what the myth. It took me until the very end of the movie to be like, oh, right. No, Jason is the main character.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well.

[Shirley]

Cause I was like, I think he's gonna kill all the people.

[June Diane Raphael]

But here's the thing. I find myself in the same camp. I've seen a handful of Jason movies. I think one of our guests tonight will have a little bit more knowledge than us. But I believe that someone with our knowledge level wrote this movie. Like, it didn't feel like it was a lot of deep dive.

[Shirley]

No. The person watched aliens rewrote it, and instead of an alien, it was Jason. And they were like, that's the fucking movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

I literally.

[Shirley]

There's an Android, there's a ship, and all of it. It's the same thing.

[June Diane Raphael]

I literally feel like it was a fever dream that happened in 2001.

[Shirley]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like Jason in space. And then that was about all the thought process.

[Shirley]

I feel like there was a phone call at one point that was like, hey, you remember when you said Jason in space as a joke, we're gonna do it. And the person was like, I don't think you should. I was very much joking.

[June Diane Raphael]

There was an odd, though, because the Leprechaun franchise, a movie we also did here on the show, also went to space. Leprechaun in space. I feel like there was a couple moments where like, ah, fuck it.

[Shirley]

I don't know.

[June Diane Raphael]

Put them on.

[Shirley]

Space heightening. It's like, that's. That's just heightening. Well, where else do we gotta go?

[June Diane Raphael]

Space. Space.

[Shirley]

Oh, I guess so. I guess that's what we're doing. Well, Fast and Furious in space.

[June Diane Raphael]

By the way, I don't wanna take credit for this.

[Shirley]

I think Fast 10 is a mashup of the Fast and Furious movies with Apollo 10.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'll take it. I don't want to say that we did this, but I believe that we mentioned that it should be in space in our podcast. And then one reporter finally got a question to F. Gary Gray about it during the press tour, and he's like, you never know. It wasn't like. No.

[Shirley]

Yep. It was almost more like, by additional writing by. How did this get made Podcast get us that WTA arbitration.

[June Diane Raphael]

Do it let's bring you guys inside.

[Shirley]

Union writing. Union jokes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Right, guys? We have a lot of specific material.

[Shirley]

About arbitration, stories, characters, Writers Guild healthcare plans.

[June Diane Raphael]

We struck, we won. We're ready to go back there.

[Shirley]

Writers Guild east and a West, unclear.

[June Diane Raphael]

What if this whole show just became really a deep dive into who gets all the credits. This is based on a story by.

[Shirley]

Obviously characters, but screenplay by someone else.

[June Diane Raphael]

There you go. Tonight is a How did this get made? All star performance, which means that we have not one, but two guests who have been on the show before and are coming back again. Our first guest, you know this guy from the show Transparent on Amazon. You also know him from movies like the House and Baywatch, but more importantly, as a brand new YouTube Red series that he created. Please welcome Rob Huebel. Hube. Huh? Rob Hubel.

[Shirley]

Huh?

[June Diane Raphael]

I realize, I realized that I just said that you created a YouTube show, but I didn't give you the name. It's called.

[Rob Huebel]

No, don't say the name of it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nope. And it fits in. And it fits in perfectly here. Do you want to see a dead body?

[Rob Huebel]

That's right.

[June Diane Raphael]

And you can be watching that on YouTube Red right now. Right now. When this comes out. This is right now. So, Rob, I believe that you have a deep knowledge base of Jason.

[Rob Huebel]

I heard you say that. That's not true.

[June Diane Raphael]

No. Really?

[Rob Huebel]

No.

[Shirley]

You're not. You don't have like.

[Rob Huebel]

No, I like horror movies.

[Shirley]

Ye.

[June Diane Raphael]

Not.

[Rob Huebel]

I don't like these. Not. Not especially like, these are not. I will say I like the song in the trailer.

[Shirley]

Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the party.

[June Diane Raphael]

And.

[Shirley]

And if I'm not wrong, you are going to sing our second opinions theme tonight later, right?

[Rob Huebel]

If the theme.

[Shirley]

Let the boys hit the.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let the opinions hit the foot.

[Rob Huebel]

But I appreciate I don't have a huge knowledge.

[June Diane Raphael]

You don't.

[Rob Huebel]

Okay. I've watched a bunch of them, but I was very little.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, well, then I will flip you into another story. I was a little boy. But you do have. You did almost severely injure yourself while wearing a Jason mask though, right?

[Rob Huebel]

I have a scar. Only you would know that story. I have a scar on my face that I. Fuck you. I have a scar on my face from a. What I thought would be a funny prank. When I was in college, a bunch of us went away on like a date situation. A bunch of couples went to a. This sounds crazy.

[Shirley]

Is this an orgy?

[Rob Huebel]

I was hoping. Oh, I hope my wife doesn't listen to this. It was college. But anyway, we all went away for a weekend To a summer camp. Somehow someone rented out this summer camp or, like. And so it was like, you know, 20 couples. And so I was very excited. I'm gonna keep this very brief. I didn't know you were gonna say that. And I thought, oh, well, I gotta scare everybody. Like, I do love being scared, and I love scaring people. So I brought a hockey mask, and I brought a long blonde wig, and I brought a hatchet with me. And so the first night, it was college. Like, everyone's drinking and smoking weed and partying, and I was like. It got really late, and I was like, oh, I can't wait. I can't wait to scare everybody. And so I put on my hockey mask and my wig, and I went up, and everybody was down in this, like, one, like, cabin. And I remember, like, sitting there, like, getting full on Kane Hodder, like, just like. Like, really. And I started. So I. My. I had my hatchet and my fucking wig, and I was, like, running. And my plan was I was just gonna, like, burst into this cabin and, like, scare everyone. Well, I got. I was running, like, as fast as I could, and all of a sudden I thought someone stepped out from behind a tree and hit me in the face with a baseball bat. What it actually was, it was a children's summer camp where we were. And I ran into a clothesline. Like a wire. Like an old rusty wire. Full speed, like, as fast as. As I can run. And I can run, like, 60, 70 miles an hour.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're like a leopard.

[Rob Huebel]

So knocked off my. Anyway, I have a scar on my face.

[June Diane Raphael]

Thank you for that.

[Shirley]

I will say that story. In that story, you do use the name of the actor who plays Jason.

[Rob Huebel]

I do know.

[Shirley]

Which means you know more about this movie franchise than I.

[Rob Huebel]

Well, we have a good Kane Hodder story.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, we'll save older as we get into it. Our second guest tonight, fantastically funny performer. She does a show here at Largo, but she has a movie right now on Amazon Prime. It's called Landline. You can watch it right now. It's fantastic. She also is one of the stars of the new Netflix series, Big Mouth. Please welcome Jenny Slate. Welcome, welcome, Jenny. Hi. Now, you are the person that. Now, I felt bad that we made you watch us, because you are not. You're not watching horror movies.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Furious. I really didn't know that this would be the kind of movie.

[Shirley]

And in fact, we got you to agree.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Let me tell you what, Jason, that he was texting to see if I was feeling okay, because I had the flu for like 90 years. And then it was like in the Are you okay?

[June Diane Raphael]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you want to do this show? I was like, okay. And then I get a very formal email from Paul saying, be here then. Da da. The movie is Jason Eck.

[Shirley]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I was like, you've got to be kidding me. I watched it a couple hours ago. I'm literally dressed like a man because I felt like so scared. I put my largest clothes on just to leave.

[Shirley]

So you, you felt as though you had no recourse from fear other than to dress as a man.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Look at the world around you.

[Shirley]

In theory, protecting yourself from certain doom because the killer would be like, oh, it's not a pretty girl. It's just some man.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, it's just a scared man. No one wants to talk to him. Who gives a hoot about that?

[Shirley]

Who gives us about that? Who gives a crap about that?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't come over here.

[June Diane Raphael]

I will say though, I think you got off really easy because on the Scare Factor, this is not that scary.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, it's not scary at all.

[Rob Huebel]

Not scary.

[Shirley]

There's a couple of gross out moments, but that's really it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There's a lot of gross stuff.

[June Diane Raphael]

I would say the gross stuff has nothing to do with killing and chasing. I would say that there's two that I can think of and they both have to deal with nipples.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let the bodies hit the floor.

[Paul Scheer]

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[June Diane Raphael]

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[Paul Scheer]

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[Jason Mantzoukas]

Me about this film and really my mouth was open the whole time. I just can't believe any of it. But that at the beginning when they're trying to decide whether or not to freeze. First of all, I don't understand why Jason's so upset, but that's another thing. But secondly, and I haven't seen any of Jason's other movies, but they're like, should we freeze him? Should we not? And then the scientist goes, this is the grossest thing I've ever heard. I want him soft.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, you want him. No, I wrote that down too.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, you don't.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, first of all, let's just even step it back and go, sorry. No, no, no, you were right. I'm just saying that Crystal Lake was a campground and when this movie opens, it's the Crystal Lake Research Facility. So in some Years. This, like, kids camp has now become, like, a science.

[Rob Huebel]

That checks out. That totally checks out.

[Shirley]

You know what? I will get on board for that. Why? Other than our main. The main woman who lives to be in the future with him, you've got Jason. You've got, like, six dudes that he kills. And then it's giant facility with nobody else in it.

[June Diane Raphael]

That is completely.

[Rob Huebel]

It's a very big facility.

[Shirley]

It's, like, enormous.

[Rob Huebel]

When nobody signs is. It looks sort of like Matthew Modine.

[Shirley]

Yep.

[Rob Huebel]

I was like, is that.

[Audience Member]

No, it's not.

[Shirley]

No, it's David Cronenberg.

[Rob Huebel]

No, no, no, not.

[Shirley]

Oh, yeah, that's David Cronenberg in the very. Yeah, in the beginning. The guy that. The guy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The guy that.

[Shirley]

Won't you worry about it?

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, great.

[Shirley]

That's David Cronenberg. Well, by the way, David Cronenberg is like, oh, no. Cronenberg.

[June Diane Raphael]

And Cronenberg sets up.

[Rob Huebel]

He was there for, like, a day.

[June Diane Raphael]

Then, oh, I think an hour and a half.

[Shirley]

He was there for 45 seconds.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cronenberg sets up something that I don't believe is canon of Jason. And here you go. Take a listen.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What are you doing here?

[Rob Huebel]

I'm taking the specimen.

[Audience Member]

Well, you can't. I haven't prepped the cryostasis chamber.

[Rob Huebel]

I don't want them frozen, Rowan. I want him soft.

[Audience Member]

We've already discussed this.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah, well, I had to go over your head.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm moving him to our Scranton.

[Audience Member]

Dr. Wermer, you can't risk transporting him through open country.

[Rob Huebel]

This isn't open for discussion. His unique ability to regenerate lost and damaged tissue, and it just.

[Shirley]

It cries out for more research.

[Audience Member]

And you're willing to risk the deaths of innocent civilians if he escapes?

[Rob Huebel]

Yes, but I'm sure Sergeant Marcus and his men can handle the transfer just fine.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sergeant, Everything's under control, man.

[Shirley]

We're not gonna light him at all. We're gonna have Cronenberg Litt. And the other guy, he's in the shadows.

[June Diane Raphael]

The other guy looks like the guy who is, like, Rambo's buddy in Rambo, but.

[Paul Scheer]

But.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, but I think. I didn't know that was a part of Jason's, like, lore that he could just regenerate like a vampire throughout the movie.

[Shirley]

It's as if Jason Voorhees is Wolverine.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah, it's.

[Shirley]

And that.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't think.

[Rob Huebel]

I don't know if they ever. I don't know if they ever said it, per se, but it's, like, implied.

[June Diane Raphael]

That, like, that he can come back.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is He a ghost? Is he dead?

[Shirley]

Does he have a soul?

[June Diane Raphael]

First of all, I don't understand.

[Shirley]

I wrote these questions. Does Jason. What is Jason? I wrote Cronenberg, exclamation point. What is Jason? Which for me is an existential note.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right? That's not even about the film.

[Shirley]

No, that was not about the film.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's just your stuff.

[June Diane Raphael]

That was.

[Shirley]

I just. That's from when I was just looking at myself in the mirror.

[June Diane Raphael]

My.

[Rob Huebel]

My. The first thing I wrote down, the.

[June Diane Raphael]

The.

[Rob Huebel]

The writer who wrote this is named Todd Farmer. And I wrote, keep your day job, Farmer. And I'm not gonna say that joke.

[Shirley]

Is, he's a farmer.

[Rob Huebel]

He's a farmer.

[Shirley]

He is a farmer.

[June Diane Raphael]

Because, I mean, Jason has no motivation as a character. He is just like. He's like, well, this is the dalit movie. Like, it would be.

[Shirley]

Did he ever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. I asked my friend who I watched the movie with because I was too afraid to watch it alone. I'm sorry. I can't help it. Love being popular.

[Shirley]

I mean, come on. I get it. I watched it alone. I had an existential crisis. I get it. You have friends.

[Rob Huebel]

I was telling. Go ahead, sir.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, he said that Jason got pushed into a lake a long time ago, and he. He's upset.

[Rob Huebel]

It's not.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But that's what. Guys, that's what I heard. That's what I heard.

[Shirley]

But, Jenny, I have an upset.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's upset right when he wakes up.

[June Diane Raphael]

Right now.

[Shirley]

Your friends are morons.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, I will say that on the commentary track, the writer did admit to never seeing the other movies.

[Shirley]

Wow, that's amazing.

[June Diane Raphael]

And here, if you want a quick. If you want a quick look back at. At the Jason films. Part one, Jason's mother is Jason. She's stalking and murder.

[Shirley]

She is Jason.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. She's wearing the mask, and she is stalking and murdering the teenagers of Camp Crystal Lake because Jason drowned in the lake due to their negligence. Yeah, so that's a cool idea. She's decapitated at the end.

[Shirley]

So it's like a revenge story for the monster. Yes.

[Rob Huebel]

So let's go to outer space.

[Audience Member]

No.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then part two. Jason is alive and he's a fully grown man. He returns to Crystal Lake to guard it from intruders. Five years after the events of the first film, Jason murders a new group of campers. And then the final girl finds a shrine in the woods to Mrs. Voorhees head. And then Jason kills her with a machete.

[Rob Huebel]

This reminds me of when I was a little boy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, no. She killed. She Kills Jason with a machete. Part 3. Jason removes the machete from his shoulder and finds his way to a local farm where he hides in the barn and kills anyone who comes in. And then finds a hockey mask to hide his face. And then it seemingly.

[Shirley]

That's when the hockey mask arrives. Well, there's no hockey mask in previous movies.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think there had to be, maybe. Oh, wow.

[Shirley]

You shut your mouth. Thank you for that information. Wait, What? It's almost at the end of the third movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, it's almost at the end. So Jason finds Dr.

[Shirley]

In the early movies. What is he wearing on his dumb face?

[June Diane Raphael]

You see him from the back?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bag.

[Rob Huebel]

A bag.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

He's wearing a bag.

[Rob Huebel]

He's wearing like a burlap set.

[Shirley]

Like a burlap set.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I get it.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah.

[Shirley]

Wait, for real?

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

He'S not into wearing anything. It's just his mom's nude. Not for nothing, consider yourself about to be watched Friday the 13th one.

[June Diane Raphael]

So if you tell me there's nudes.

[Shirley]

What do you think my preferred channel on pornhub is?

[June Diane Raphael]

So if you couldn't hear it clearly enough. First movie, Jason's mom is wearing nothing. Yeah. Second movie, Jason's wearing a bag over his head. Third movie bag until hockey mask. Then we go into. He's seemingly killed by an axe to the head in part three. Then the final chapter starts with Jason killing everyone in the morgue that he's taken to. Then he returns.

[Shirley]

Wait a minute.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Killing everyone in the morgue is.

[Shirley]

Sounds like a bit redundant.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We both really, you know.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then he would have to open the drawer.

[Shirley]

Step, step, step, step, step.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's to build up his self confidence. He was, to Jason's point. He did get an axe in his head, so he thought those people were alive. Then he returns to camp Crystal Lake, kills everyone. And then a character named Tommy, who's at the cabin near the camp, kills Jason. Then a new beginning starts with Jason with Tommy being committed to a mental institution while Copycat takes on Jason, Jason's likeness. Then Jason lives.

[Shirley]

Wait, Tommy becomes Jason?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. Then Tommy visits Jason's grave and accidentally resurrects him.

[Shirley]

Wait a minute. Accidentally resurrects him?

[Rob Huebel]

I think there was like a lightning bolt.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, lightning strikes the grave.

[Rob Huebel]

I was such a little boy.

[Shirley]

And then Tommy thinking about you as well.

[Rob Huebel]

By the way, lightning and electricity can reanimate anyone.

[Shirley]

Always, always, always.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then it gets crazy. Then he's like chained, put to the bottom of the lake. Then Part seven, Jason's telekinetically resurrected by Tina, who is trying to bring back her father.

[Rob Huebel]

I want to see her.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then Tina returns Jason to the bottom of the lake. And then Part eight, Jason goes to Manhattan.

[Shirley]

Where he works for Meryl Streep and is dating Adrian Grenier. Not a lot of people know that Jason Voorhees was originally cast in the Devil Wears Prada. And they shot 30% of the movie with him and were like, it's not working.

[June Diane Raphael]

Didn't work. Then he's melted by toxic waste. And then. And Jason goes to hell. The Final Friday, Jason is resurrected, but we don't know why the FBI is hunting him and then kills him. He survives by possessing different beings until his niece stabs him with a magic dagger and sends him to hell. So that's.

[Rob Huebel]

Wait, isn't there a Jason Freddy movie?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, but that's not Ken canon. That is a side.

[Shirley]

That's like a one off.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's like the New Hope. That's like a side movie going, all right, you know, not New Hope. I mean, Rogue One. Sorry.

[Shirley]

Oh, oh, oh, sorry. Well, Rogue One is still canon.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just a side move. He's not part of the trilogy.

[Shirley]

Can I ask a question?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

And we might not have answers, but one of these dildos might. When and why is he obsessed with. With his machete? And also, where did it come from in this movie? He's all chained up.

[Rob Huebel]

His old one that he sees on the.

[Shirley]

Yeah, he's all chained up in the prison. And then when he's free, he's like, got my machete.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, he said when he's frozen. When they unfreeze.

[Shirley]

Before they freeze him, though. Before they freeze him. He's all chained up in the opening scene.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right, right.

[Shirley]

Also, is the opening credits take place in hell?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, that's in place inside.

[Rob Huebel]

It's inside the body.

[Shirley]

Ah, okay. Okay. I wasn't paying good enough attention.

[Rob Huebel]

That was like inner space. Have you seen the movie Inner Space?

[Shirley]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And not to bring up that I obviously watched this with a very cool friend, but that's what my friend said.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, really?

[Shirley]

Yeah.

[Rob Huebel]

Am I your cool friend?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I watched it with another cool friend.

[Rob Huebel]

You're cool.

[Shirley]

I don't watch it with anybody, so I didn't have any.

[Rob Huebel]

Can I tell you how I watched this, Paul? Very briefly, we're sleep training our baby right now, which don't have babies. And so basically what that means is you just let your baby cry and, you know, you don't go in there and then they figure out like, oh, I'M gonna be okay. So I was, I was.

[Shirley]

Before they realize you don't love them.

[Rob Huebel]

So I was watching the. I was watching the movie with one headphone in right by her. Her room and watching the baby monitor like this. And it was fucking. The baby monitor was what was scaring me. Cause you know, it's just like a little tiny person, like.

[June Diane Raphael]

I will Jason thing.

[Rob Huebel]

I'm like, that's dumb. Okay.

[Shirley]

By the way, you need to score your baby monitor to let the bodies hit the floor.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, no.

[Shirley]

Hey, babe, come here. Look at this. Let the bodies hit the floor. Just your adorable child.

[June Diane Raphael]

I. I watched this movie on an airplane. Cause I needed to cram it in before I got back here.

[Shirley]

Ooh, never say the phrase cram it in again.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I was sitting next.

[Shirley]

I want them soft. I'd appreciate it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like em soft.

[Shirley]

Ooh, cram it in while it's soft.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was sitting next to a child and the.

[Rob Huebel]

My child.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Who was doing fine.

[Shirley]

Who is fast asleep.

[Rob Huebel]

You're sleep training my baby on a plane.

[June Diane Raphael]

And you know that's like, that's how you're supposed to do it. By the way, they don't tell you that in the books. You take your baby, you gotta plane train those babies. Plane train them.

[Shirley]

Plane train an automobile.

[June Diane Raphael]

So I'm watching this movie on an airplane next to a child. I feel like the first thing, the kid like looks over at my iPad and sees like somebody's head get like sliced off. Ooh. And I kind of like cover up my iPad. And then I'm watching it further. And then there's that scene with like the two girl campers. And it's the only time that like real nudity is in the movie.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm like, ah.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then I turn it like this.

[Shirley]

There's real nudity earlier in the movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Very little.

[Shirley]

With the robot's nipples.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They fall off.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was so clinical.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The nipples fall right off.

[Shirley]

We'll get there. Okay. Okay. Sorry.

[Rob Huebel]

I have a 30 minute moment.

[Shirley]

I'll talk about that.

[June Diane Raphael]

So I got nervous and the nudity came on with the kid that I turned my ipod, my iPad out to the aisle, which meant that I was flashing, which meant that you basically like.

[Shirley]

Anybody wanna get a look at this? Check it out.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was so I was like, I was really mortified. And then I was like, now I'm like this fucking creepo who's like watching a Jason movie on my iPad. Like, everyone's watching Baby Driver and Spider Man. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[Shirley]

Like you're watching, like, legit trash.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like. And I bought. I clearly bought it. It's not even on the seat back entertainment. It's like, I gotta watch this shit either.

[Shirley]

I don't want to watch what. I don't want to watch what you've got. I've got my own. What I think is better. The message you're sending is my watching is more important than what you have on offer.

[June Diane Raphael]

And it's this. I tried to make my note taking really, like, apparent because I just didn't want. I wanted to be like, well, clearly you're doing it for some sort of reason.

[Shirley]

So you've got, like, what? Like, I'm a writer, a quill and a bottle of ink. Taking notes. Taking notes. Well, just me taking notes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I have a.

[Rob Huebel]

Just to back up a question about this opening scene, and then we should probably move on.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, sure.

[Rob Huebel]

Why am I driving the podcast?

[Shirley]

You know what? This is a hostile thing.

[Rob Huebel]

But isn't this the scene where they go in and Jason's chained up, and then they come back and, you know, and the guy puts the coat over his face? Isn't that just stolen from Silence of the Lambs? That is the scene from Silence of the Lambs.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. No, I feel like this guy, this writer didn't have any issue with that. He said the movie is based so much on Alien that he named one of the characters after Tom Skerritt's character in the Alien film.

[Rob Huebel]

Like, he named every single character, like, the cowboy hat. Fucking coke.

[Shirley]

Like, everybody. It is. It really is just man Scarrett. I mean, like, the guy's a legend. I was gonna talk about Alien more, and then I was just like, like, we need more Tom Scarry in the world. Just saying mustache. Oh, I'll sit in this. I don't care.

[June Diane Raphael]

All right, so here we are.

[Shirley]

We're at Kapalpa. Scary. All right, let's go.

[June Diane Raphael]

So here we are at Camp Crystal Lake research facility, a place that's seemingly uninhabited, with no lights and very damp. There was, like, literally water on the floor. They have this test subject. He's a serial killer. They want to hold. They yet let him keep his hockey mask on, which seems like they would. I think that you'd want to see what was under the hockey mask or you wouldn't have to let him.

[Rob Huebel]

There's a weird line where they. Where they're first assessing him, where they say that hockey has been outlawed.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, that's in the future.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

In 2024. Was when they. When they outlawed.

[Rob Huebel]

But they don't tell us why hockey has been outlawed.

[June Diane Raphael]

Football's still going on on Earth 2. In this movie, Hockey.

[Shirley]

The guy realizes it's a hockey mask. And I was like, obviously they're in the future, but they're like 450 years in the future.

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

Like, I don't think a hockey mask would be that recognizable.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. If it's been outlawed for that long.

[Rob Huebel]

But also their technology, there's. They're, you know, they're using like, you know, FaceTime.

[Shirley]

Oh, they are also wearing half shirts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They're wearing. They're all in chenille sweaters.

[Shirley]

Everybody's wearing half shirts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why are they wearing that in a lab? Like, she's like giving him an operation in. Why are they. Those two dorks are so horny. And then they just go, and why.

[Rob Huebel]

Don'T you guys come back when you're more focused?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Rob Huebel]

And they're like, okay, we will.

[Shirley]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Whoa.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's crazy science.

[Shirley]

Transplanting all of the horniness of summer camp onto a spaceship, which is so weird.

[June Diane Raphael]

A spaceship out of a CW show. And I mean that in. No offense to cw. It's so.

[Shirley]

You know what, though? So offense to cw.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah. It's just really bad graphics.

[Shirley]

CW on blast.

[Rob Huebel]

There's some awesome. There's some digital blood in this that is also really bad when the guy gets his arm cut off. Like there's some. I like, had to go back and go, just try, like, try to make the blood spurt.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The first arm that gets cut off of like the dork. By the way, why would he be allowed on that science expedition? He's like a dumbass. He's like the stupidest. Why would they have brought him? And he means that you can't have that kind of hair if you work in a lab. You can't have your hair out.

[Shirley]

I know you think it's Moose from Step up, but it's not who.

[Paul Scheer]

Who.

[June Diane Raphael]

So basically. But we won't even know, like, so, you know, Jason is accidentally frozen. This space crew comes like salvaging Earth one. But we don't even know what this crew is. They don't seem like they have any job like in Alien. They're like, oh, they're like space truckers, essentially. Like, you know, on, you know, Serenity. They're like pirates. You know, they're kind of doing clandestine stuff here. It just looks like a bunch of young, good looking people who are kind of all equal scientists.

[Shirley]

It's like a school. It's like a mobile school.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, I think.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, yeah. Right. There is a school element because the guy's a professor.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because the. And he loves his nipples to be yanked.

[June Diane Raphael]

Whoa.

[Rob Huebel]

Even 450 years from now, he's still.

[Shirley]

450 years from now. He's wearing current day, like negligees.

[Rob Huebel]

What was the line that the girl says about her midterm that you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, no, right. When she's like, do it, do it. And then he goes, you pass. Just like such a funny thing to say at orgasm.

[Shirley]

By the way, some of you guys, you made a guess in this argument. Two of you are gonna have sex tonight. Scream. You pass.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You pass.

[Shirley]

Or if you're listening to this on the podcast with your lover, scream. You pass.

[June Diane Raphael]

You pass. Let's just hear it in real time here. Good, Right there. Come on, come on. You pass.

[Shirley]

Now that device is too big.

[June Diane Raphael]

I thought when she first brought it in it was gynecological equipment.

[Shirley]

That's what I thought.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't like this already. And then I didn't like this more than the thought of the thing that I didn't like.

[Shirley]

What do you think my question is? Is this the tool's intended use or is this a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Maybe she just grabs it. She's like, oh, I'm about to see professor, and just grabbed it on her way from the lab.

[Shirley]

Oh, I'm gonna grab it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She was really thinking about the, like.

[Shirley]

Something that is like, like hedge trimming shears in size.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh.

[June Diane Raphael]

The other.

[Rob Huebel]

Is she having sex? She has her underwear.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's the other thing that I was just about to say and then I, I just stopped myself because I was like, I don't know if I can live through what I'm about to say.

[Rob Huebel]

You go, rob, well, when I have.

[Shirley]

Sex, When I have sex, if you die, we will have lightning strike you to reanimate you.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then apparently this man climaxing is what awakes Jason. Like, wait, really? Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He doesn't like horniness.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, he doesn't. That's the one thing that we know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He doesn't.

[Rob Huebel]

He hates fucking teens. He doesn't hate fucking. He hates teens. That. Fuck yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

But he hates fucking teens, right? He hates fucking teens.

[Rob Huebel]

He fucking hates fucking teens. And he can smell jizz. He can smell jizz.

[June Diane Raphael]

But he immediately kills the person who was bringing him back to life, who seemed to be the only one that was doing her job.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah, by the way, that was really violent.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like her entire body was sucked out of a 4 inch hole vent.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

By the way, before she got sucked, she said, this sucks.

[June Diane Raphael]

So many legs.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, it gets sucked on so many.

[Rob Huebel]

Levels, by the way. Not to pull the rug out from under us, but at the beginning of the movie, they set up that they can reanimate arms and everything. Who cares? If anyone gets killed, we'll bring them back, right? It doesn't matter if any of us get killed. Like, why is. Why are. Why would we possibly be upset? It's like, okay, except for the girl that got sucked through the vent.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

But here's my other issue with this whole movie. Ultimately, you bring the serial killer on. I get it. That's has to be the conceit of the movie, right? You gotta get this guy on. But it's a confined space where all you need to do is sound an alarm, say, hey, everybody, stay in your bunks. There is no seemingly zero communication between anyone at any given point. There's no intercom.

[Shirley]

There's so many ways this could have been avoided. I mean, this movie, you could have not asked me to watch. The link I had could have been broken. There's so many ways I could have avoided watching this. No, they are constantly. That's where I was like, I had to readjust and be like, oh, no, these movies are this. These movies are. It's all about the kills. It's all about people making dumb decisions and going to the basement when they shouldn't. Or like, when the dude is like, on the run and he's like, wait a minute, quick, we gotta get to the shuttle. But should I fuck my robot that I just made?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's the craziest.

[Shirley]

Like, yeah, I think I fucking should.

[Paul Scheer]

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[June Diane Raphael]

It's that easy, people.

[Paul Scheer]

Not only is it easy, you're going to be saving some money. Like our producer Scott, who switched to Mint Mobile. He says his cell service is just as good as before and it costs $40 less a month.

[June Diane Raphael]

All right, all of a sudden, Scott, he's going to get one of those.

[Paul Scheer]

Rooms like Scrooge McDuck has, you know, and start diving into coins, which I imagine would hurt.

[June Diane Raphael]

But you know what?

[Paul Scheer]

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[June Diane Raphael]

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[Paul Scheer]

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[June Diane Raphael]

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[Paul Scheer]

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[Rob Huebel]

How did they do the nipple effect? So that actress, they covered up her real nipples.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Rob Huebel]

And then put fake plastic nipples on there. So much so that when they fell off, I was like, oh my God.

[June Diane Raphael]

Her. Her nipples fall off like a. Like your refrigerator lost magnetism.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Total sub zero time.

[Shirley]

I assumed it was like a computer. It was like a computer effect. You think it's practical?

[June Diane Raphael]

They feel like they're cgi.

[Shirley]

I think it's a computer.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here we go. Let's. But listen to the sound they make.

[Rob Huebel]

Why is money on that?

[June Diane Raphael]

The. The sound that they make is what really makes it disturbing. You think?

[Rob Huebel]

Do you like them?

[Audience Member]

They're fine.

[Shirley]

It sounds like 2 second jawea silver.

[Rob Huebel]

Dollars hitting the ground.

[June Diane Raphael]

So if he did put on steel nipples, what is she getting out of that either?

[Shirley]

Like that was also. Who manufactured those in space. She was like, I want you to make me some nipples. And he was like, I'm busy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Really?

[Shirley]

I've got a lot to say about this movie. Why is. When Jason is still dead. Not dead, but like. Yeah, dead. When they are. When blondie who gets smashed, when she is kind of doing stuff, she's, you know, carves his mask off of his face, blah, blah, blah. Why is the goop that leaks out of his head green?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, why is it again.

[Shirley]

And I wrote it again.

[June Diane Raphael]

What is Jason.

[Rob Huebel]

Also.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why did she need to. Why did she need to like clearly cut off the mask but then seemingly the mask stayed. Like she just kind of smushes it back on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She puts it on in like a non medical way. Like that's not the way a dark doctor would. Like put your thing back. Just like putting. Just like, just putting a sticker.

[Rob Huebel]

She takes his eyeball out and just looks at it and then like freezes it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Rob Huebel]

Puts it in a. Yeah. Also sheer with that. I forgot this character's name. What's her name in real life? Is that Alexa?

[Shirley]

Doig. Doig.

[June Diane Raphael]

What is it?

[Shirley]

D O I G. Doig. I'm assuming like no Doig.

[Rob Huebel]

And so her.

[Shirley]

Does anybody know what it is?

[Audience Member]

I have.

[Rob Huebel]

Her first line when she wakes up. This movie was made in 2001. She wakes up in 2455. The first words out of her mouth are, did you get him? That's the first, like her first order of business. Ooh, it was cold when I was frozen.

[Audience Member]

Or.

[Rob Huebel]

Well, first she clocks that guy. Yeah, she clocks that guy first of all. Which is hilarious, by the way.

[June Diane Raphael]

Jason's machete when what we under. What we should believe goes through like metal, like cryogenic chamber, like, like a hot knife through butter, like to kind of get her killed too. But like, that machete, someone should look into that. That machete seems like it has some powers.

[Shirley]

He's obsessed with this machete. Like, I would argue, like, like the machete is like his true love.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's almost as if this movie was written by someone who never saw any of the j.

[Rob Huebel]

But this professor guy or this teacher guy, his whole motivation is it's like a weird. Like he just wants people to pay to see her. Remember, he says, like, he says, like, oh, people will pay money to see her. She was for. And then she goes away and then it's like.

[Shirley]

Or whatever.

[Rob Huebel]

And then. So then he's like people paying money to see Jason. Like, he's like some carnival animal or something.

[June Diane Raphael]

Which, you know, that's not gonna work out well at all. And just kill everybody. Yeah, it's. It's a. It's a weird. It's a weird movie because they're just running.

[Paul Scheer]

They're not.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, there's no, there's no deliberate, like, there's no reasoning with Jason. There's no reason why he has any grudges with any of these people. They have yet not. They have not just done anything bad to him, but bring him back to life and. Well, that's.

[Shirley]

It's interesting. He's like a Frankenstein type figure.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

But there is no, like, there is no understanding. It really is.

[Rob Huebel]

We're looking at it the wrong way. I think the way you're supposed to look at it is he is the hero. We love him. We're rooting for him, Right? Yeah. Okay, for real, like, we're rooting for him and we're to kill all the dumb dumbs. To kill all the dum dums while we beat off. Although this movie is very hard to beat off too.

[June Diane Raphael]

You can find your moments.

[Rob Huebel]

What do you mean you could find.

[June Diane Raphael]

Look, I was on a plane, so it was a little bit more challenging.

[Rob Huebel]

Can I tell. Can I tell our bummer story about. Okay, the guy, the actor that plays Jason in real life is named Kane Hodder. And I'm scanning the audio as if.

[June Diane Raphael]

I know what he looks like.

[Rob Huebel]

So hopefully he's not here. But one time, Shir and I were at something in New York. It was like a Comic Con type, but not Comic Con.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was a very low level horror convention. In New Jersey.

[Rob Huebel]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like in a hotel.

[Shirley]

Wait, are you sure it was a horror convention? Or were you just in New Jersey? Nailed it. That's right. New Jersey. Kaboom. Not that fear.

[Rob Huebel]

So it was one of those things where you go and there are people, you know, there are the signing booths and so Kane Hodder, Jason from the movie, is there, you know, and you pay 20 bucks to get his autograph or whatever. So it was very close to Halloween. Like it is not when this podcast comes out. And so the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life was a.

[Shirley]

Probably keep in mind, you have a child.

[Rob Huebel]

Yes.

[Shirley]

The cutest thing you've ever seen in your life, though, is this.

[June Diane Raphael]

This is cuter than.

[Rob Huebel]

This is cuter. My child is a crybaby. No, this. So there was a mom there with like a three year old boy in fucking full on Jason garb, tiny little overalls, tiny little hockey mask, like three years old. Like, you know, Barrett, like doing this and his mom is there, sees Kane Hodder there, like, you know, he's got a big poster or whatever, and she's like, go on, go on, go on up there. And so the little boy is just like, goes up there and he gets up to Kane Hodder, the person in real life, and Kane Hodder goes 20 bucks. 20 bucks to the little kid. So I couldn't help but remember that as I was watching this movie, that, like, oh, that guy. What a surprise. That Jason is a bad dude in real life. Edit out that pause, Paul. Take out this pause. Take out this pause.

[Shirley]

No, you know, let's just sit in this.

[Rob Huebel]

Take it out.

[Shirley]

Take out this pause.

[June Diane Raphael]

So Jason is on this ship that has an anchor in it. The spaceship has an anchor and.

[Shirley]

Yeah. Cause you have to anchor your space all the time, otherwise it'll float away into space.

[June Diane Raphael]

And so many rooms full of.

[Shirley]

That's why all the space things you see, you hear them say, drop anchor. Star wars, drop anchor. Star Trek, Mr. Sulu, drop anchor.

[June Diane Raphael]

They just need to get him in rooms with chains and like giant, like they just put like, yeah, put an anchor. We'll put some in on an anchor. And. And like that. I'll give into that. But what I don't like is the abuse of VR. In this movie, these two kids are playing VR and Jason murders the VR orc. And it like exists in the game.

[Shirley]

Jason is able to without his own set, without anything.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, that doesn't make sense to the game.

[Shirley]

They're in part two, participate, and then when they take the masks off, he's just standing there and the video game disappears and he's like, what's going on?

[June Diane Raphael]

And to me, why not just make the smarter choice of not making the people in the future wear any sort of VR masks.

[Shirley]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like, make it like a holiday.

[Shirley]

Everybody is in a thing.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. No, but they have the two guys like sitting down on like two carpets.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, and why are they sitting on the floor like that? Like, where is that? The game room? Or do they just sit down? Like, like how people 400 years ago watched television?

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

I was more.

[Rob Huebel]

I was more psyched about those monsters. It, like, it was such a misdirect. I was like, oh, cool, now we're going to see some cool monsters. And then it was like, oh, this is a VR sim or whatever. I don't know. Technology.

[Shirley]

You know what? Further, here's your hypothesis that Jason is the hero is that every human being in this movie is a fucking asshole.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. The only nice one is the woman who puts his mask back on. She's like, poor thing or something like that. He really ruins her head.

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[Rob Huebel]

What she got.

[Shirley]

These fucking dummies single handedly destroy Solaris.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Without a care in the world. Oh my God, they ruined that.

[Rob Huebel]

No repercussions.

[Shirley]

How many? Hundreds or thousands?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thousands of people they killed on that thing.

[Shirley]

Just smash.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They drove through it and it exploded.

[Shirley]

And then it explodes and they're like.

[Rob Huebel]

Oh my God, back it up.

[Shirley]

They are awful people. And that's. And I guess that was maybe for me, the thing that was giving me a little bit of tension. I was like, well, these people are terrible, but Jason is the protagonist.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

I think what I'm not used to. Well, that's a. I mean, I'm the protagonist in my life, I feel like. So I understand where Jason could be the protagonist.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right. You just, you feel like it's just about Jason. Yeah, most things are. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Manzuk X.

[Rob Huebel]

One of my main beefs is the poor commitment to jolts on the spaceship.

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[Rob Huebel]

You know. Cause like, everyone's going in a different direction. Like Solaris blows up. One guy goes that way. Someone goes like this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Someone else goes like, whoa.

[Shirley]

You know, it's like Star Trek level.

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

Like original series Star Trek level. Like, oh, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But the robot woman is actually good at the jolts. She's got a lot of jokes that.

[June Diane Raphael]

She'S like, Lisa Ryder is her name.

[Shirley]

Lisa Ryder is. Is far and away crushing it in this movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just interesting. You know, Obviously one of the big reveals of this movie is when the robot, like becomes full on Terminator. She gets an upgrade and like, upload, upload Sorry.

[Rob Huebel]

So does that mean he just, like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He just, like, spoinked it up there.

[Shirley]

Like, trying to escape?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You're better now.

[Paul Scheer]

They went.

[Shirley]

Escaped to the pod. And he's like, wait a minute. And they have, like a. A moment that is romantically charged. But I don't think she understands romance.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I think she does. She loves him. That's why she wants her nipples.

[Shirley]

Is that it?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Cause she wants to be like Janessa.

[Shirley]

Also, you memorize a character 450 years from now named Janessa, who has a fourth of a blouse, which I have a lot of choice.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Whoa. Really?

[Shirley]

Janessa?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The guy writing it was like, what's the name of a sexy girl who I can. Who will like me? Basically, like, he just, like, you know, he falls in love with her while he's writing it. He just loves Janessa.

[Rob Huebel]

Janessa and Todd Farmer walk down the street.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. He's like, shoot, I gotta change it.

[Shirley]

You know that, like, someone from Todd Farmer's past is like, is this about me? And he's like, no, Vanessa, why would you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Janessa's shirt is, like, the most insane garment I've ever seen in my life.

[Shirley]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And one. And it's like. It's crazy. It's just like, two strips down her titties like that, and then. And then with, like, weird bolts. Right? Yeah, and then. And also, my pants just are completely broken. I can't stand up like that.

[Rob Huebel]

By the way, they say that in the movie. They say. She says, don't wreck my pants.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't wreck my pants.

[Shirley]

That was a great box.

[Rob Huebel]

That should have been on the box.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But there is a part where, like, they're doing something that's, like, tough. And she, like. She, like, makes sure that her shirt's on as if it was ever really on to begin with.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. She should have been wearing something everyone in that spaceship should be wearing more.

[Rob Huebel]

More.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, that, like, it's weird to say for a horror movie, put on more clothes.

[Paul Scheer]

People.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Except for during the sex scene, when they should be wearing glass.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, even.

[Paul Scheer]

Even the.

[Shirley]

Even the military people are, like, pornographically dressed.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. I will say, this is interesting. So when Jason is killed, he's reformed now, if you listen to the podcast, you know, we did a movie called Virtuosity, and the way that Jason came back was an idea stolen from Virtuosity.

[Rob Huebel]

Wow.

[Shirley]

Literally.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. Truly. This is on the commentary trip. The writer Todd Farmer lifted this idea of nanotechnology from Virtuosity. He said he thought it would be cool.

[Shirley]

Cause it Worked in that movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Worked.

[Shirley]

Virtuosity.

[June Diane Raphael]

But it's also.

[Rob Huebel]

It's not just nanotechnology. It's just ants. Like, at one point, they cut to, like, an extreme close up, and it's just fucking bugs.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's like.

[Paul Scheer]

It looks like.

[Shirley]

I think they're ropes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Robot bugs.

[Shirley]

Yeah, robot bugs.

[Rob Huebel]

Well, yeah, of course. But still. You got a bug problem. It's a bug problem.

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just to give you an idea of other. Other ideas that Jason could have been in and that instead of space, these are the ideas they passed on. All right, so Jason in the hood. Jason leprechaun. Was that right? Jason in the snow. Jason underwater. Yeah. Jason in the Arctic. Jason.

[Rob Huebel]

Totally different, bro.

[Paul Scheer]

Totally different.

[Rob Huebel]

You've never been to the Arctic.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. One could be, like. One could be, like, the thing, and one could be, like, snow day. The other one, Jason in LA fighting gangs. The other one, Jason on safari. And they even considered something involving the NASCAR circuit. Wow. Yeah. That.

[Rob Huebel]

The shir. Did you have any thoughts on the sim at the end? The Crystal Lake throwback, where that's where.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was showing nudity to people on my airplane? Yeah. That's an odd sequence because that's, like, one of those rare moments, too, where, like, I felt bad because it felt, like, gratuitous. Like, you. Like, there's no. Like, how could you get anyone to even do it? It's like, hey, so this is not integral to the part, the plot.

[Rob Huebel]

This is something like, you know, what are our lines? Well, you're gonna yell, we love premarital sex.

[Shirley]

And then we get into sleeping bags and are beaten to death with each other's body, using the sleeping bag as a weapon. So they cut back to Jason Voorhees, and he's holding a sleeping bag bag with a girl in it, and he's.

[June Diane Raphael]

Clobbering the other girl.

[Shirley]

The other girl. But I will. Sleeping bag with that girl.

[June Diane Raphael]

I will say Full Metal Jacket. I will say that there's a lot of, like, weird production design in it, but I did feel like the sleeping bags were not full enough. Like, they felt. Yeah, they didn't. They didn't feel like the audio.

[Shirley]

Wait a minute. The audio. Check. We're like, ow, ow, ow.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. I couldn't understand what the audio was. I was like, are they. They. Is the sim glitching? Are they laughing still? Cause they're, like, looking up at the camera and doing that also.

[Shirley]

How is the sim prepared for that scenario? Yeah, like what? I don't know that. It's. That. That's within the. I don't know.

[Rob Huebel]

He was using the boyfriend of KM Was using her severed head.

[Shirley]

Yes.

[Rob Huebel]

And somehow jacked that in to the suit thing.

[Shirley]

Right.

[Rob Huebel]

And she was downloading that program. Am I wrong?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can I also say I love K, but I also like the scientist. I liked her boyfriend. I like that guy.

[June Diane Raphael]

You like that guy?

[Shirley]

He was your favorite.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was the most relatable character.

[Shirley]

Let's go. Let's all go around and say who our favorite dummy was. Mine was the robot. Yeah. I loved her non magnetic nipples. I loved when she became like Lara Crawford Tomb Raider at the end.

[June Diane Raphael]

I, I, I would go with my favorite was. And I think this is him. Boyd Banks, who played Fat Lou, who was the guy who was like, you, eck, my stuff.

[Shirley]

I'm Fat Lou.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You act my stuff.

[Rob Huebel]

No one ever says my name. But you know who I am.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, Fat Lou.

[Shirley]

Kids and their dumb field trips. I bet I'm going to catch for this. And then he gets chopped into like a gajillion pieces. Then the other guy comes up and is like, oh, this is a nightmare. But I've seen worse.

[Paul Scheer]

What?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, that's never, they never explore that at all.

[Rob Huebel]

Are you gonna explain what Stop the movie?

[June Diane Raphael]

No, no.

[Shirley]

He's seen where it's in like. Then he refers to some war that they fought.

[Rob Huebel]

Oh, the Microsoft people.

[Shirley]

Where people were fighting each other with their own limbs.

[June Diane Raphael]

Microsoft over old Zunes.

[Audience Member]

By the way.

[Rob Huebel]

Also, one of my favorite lines is.

[June Diane Raphael]

It'S going to take more than a poke in the ribs to put this, Put down this old dog. Flink. That ought to do it.

[Shirley]

That was a great line.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. And I feel like that's where that movie was weird because it's like they were going for jokes and I like that joke a lot. But then they would also, like, they would treat some things like, like that, I think work. But then there's another move moment where.

[Rob Huebel]

Like, what's his condition? He's screwed.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah. Why do they have that big screw in there?

[June Diane Raphael]

That was her friend. He's screwed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And why were they never shocked when people were dead? They're not in a war. They're scientists. They should be like, if they see one dead person that isn't like, part of their lab, which they don't keep clean, they should be like, the only.

[June Diane Raphael]

Time they did that and be like, hey, hey, everyone.

[Rob Huebel]

The only time they did that is when they ran out, like, one door opens and there's like a security guard dead. And then they go like. I was like, you don't even fucking know that guy.

[Shirley]

Also, also, the guy who she says he's screwed. Dude, it's a visual joke or it's a visual line for her. The person on the other end should be like, what do you mean?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Wait, so what are you talking about? Is he late?

[Shirley]

Is he lost? He's like, what do you mean he's screwed. Well, why are you saying it like that?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, because there's a giant screw in this room and he's actually rotating around.

[Shirley]

He has been impaled on an adjustment. Giant screw. Okay, got it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, that's good.

[Shirley]

Really? That was good.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's go to the audience. Audience, do you have any questions? Things that we haven't talked about? I know we haven't talked about a lot, but anything at all.

[Shirley]

The scene where they. Where he is. Doesn't matter.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sir, your name, Your question?

[Audience Member]

My name is Matt. I'm just wondering if we can go over the fact that they say they executed him three times. Times. They went from electricity to firing squad to hanging, and then they just jumped to cryogenically freezing.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, I think that that actually makes sense. You know, I feel like at a certain point you're like, well, we can't kill him, so let's.

[Rob Huebel]

Let's freeze him. Yeah, let's put him on hold. I think they also said scientifically that checks out.

[Shirley]

No, it doesn't check out.

[Rob Huebel]

Yes, it does.

[Shirley]

Like, here's the thing. If you want that guy gone, chop him into a million pieces.

[Rob Huebel]

They did that. They blew off his leg. They blew off his.

[Shirley]

That's in this movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but if the nanotechnology wouldn't have come back, he would. I mean, again, they knew that he regenerated, so why would they leave him in that room alone?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why do they leave him on the, like, regeneration flies.

[Shirley]

Why does he regenerate? Question mark?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because the bugs.

[June Diane Raphael]

But they can regenerate all of their friends.

[Rob Huebel]

It doesn't matter.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sir, your name. Your question?

[Audience Member]

My name is Devin.

[Rob Huebel]

So why do we need their names?

[Audience Member]

Paul.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I like it. I like it, I like it, I like it.

[Rob Huebel]

Justin, he's using a fake name.

[June Diane Raphael]

The people at home.

[Shirley]

You're telling me that guy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That guy's name's Devin? Yeah, his name's Devin.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nope.

[Shirley]

I don't buy it for a fucking minute. No way.

[Audience Member]

Paul.

[Shirley]

Paul.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

Get his license.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sierra, let's check out your license. All right, Devin, if that's your name. Your question.

[Shirley]

So early.

[Audience Member]

When the lady that travels through, or it's frozen and going through time.

[Rob Huebel]

Do she?

[Shirley]

Yeah. When she's getting thawed, the robot says this line that I think is just.

[Audience Member]

Either miswritten or something she's saying.

[Shirley]

I think she's supposed to be saying.

[Audience Member]

Cellular, but she says celery.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow.

[Rob Huebel]

First of all, good.

[June Diane Raphael]

Good catch, Paul. Paul.

[Rob Huebel]

That's not a question.

[Shirley]

It's not a question.

[June Diane Raphael]

It could be observations. We're taking observations and questions. Observ.

[Shirley]

And you're telling me she says celery.

[Rob Huebel]

No. Now I got to watch the whole movie again.

[June Diane Raphael]

She's going through celery regeneration.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Celery regeneration.

[Rob Huebel]

There. I will say, to Devin's point.

[Shirley]

I thought, news.

[Rob Huebel]

Am I fake?

[Shirley]

News noons.

[Rob Huebel]

It did seem like there were more than a couple flub lines that they didn't even try again.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It seemed like there was a moment when Ms. Doig forgot her line and, like, ran into a room and was like, I.

[June Diane Raphael]

We.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We have to get to, like. And I was like, okay, I know what that is. Cause I've done that myself. You don't know what you're saying.

[June Diane Raphael]

We got it. Let's move on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We know what's going on.

[Shirley]

We're gonna check the gate.

[June Diane Raphael]

Your fake name and your question.

[Audience Member]

Oh, well, my real name's Karine, and that sounds fake enough, so let's just go with that. So when the guard, or when that Marine or whatever she is, finds her red impaled and she's like, oh, he's been screwed. He hasn't even been screwed. It's a drill. Like, it's not even a screw. So my question is, what do you guys think about that?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What about this? What about this? He's dead. This is not a drill. Oh, wait, it is. Fuck it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. You got a little bit of a standing ovation.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you. Give us a scenario.

[Shirley]

We'll give you the clever word play.

[June Diane Raphael]

All right, all right. Your name, your question.

[Shirley]

My name is Scott and Grayton.

[June Diane Raphael]

Undercover.

[Shirley]

Shirt name Undercover. This is for you. So when the professor is with the space Marine, he's like, do you have all your kids? He says, yes, I've got them all. They immediately cut to the Bobo holodeck, where they've got these idiots playing games.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's Todd Farmer.

[Shirley]

The bald idiot that gets cut in the half is Todd Farmer. Really?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, Todd Farmer. Also the writer director of Drive Angry, the Nicholas Cage movie that we did in this podcast and was also killed in that as well.

[Rob Huebel]

Paul, we have not even touched on the last, like, minute of the movie where Jason comes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, no, sorry, sorry.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah, where Jason comes at us. And then Brodsky comes in and tackles him. And then like Iron man flies him back through the atmosphere, burning him up. And they become a shooting star. And then two horny teenagers go, oh, a shooting star. Mako, are we not gonna talk about, like.

[June Diane Raphael]

By the way, I would argue the best part of the entire movie is what you just said.

[Rob Huebel]

I think Todd Farmer started with that. Am I wrong? Friend of Todd Farmer.

[June Diane Raphael]

All right, your name and your.

[Audience Member]

My name is Rachel. And I know that, like the bad guy sneaking up on the unsuspecting people is kind of like the thing with this movie. But the rules about how he moves around this set are bonkers. He like, teleports from one room to another. And the one that drove me the most crazy is that girl is when he's coming back to life because all the people are having sex. He moves his leg, she turns around.

[Shirley]

Nothing.

[Audience Member]

He shifts his hand. He just kind of clenches it. Nothing. He sits up, gets up off the table.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nothing.

[Audience Member]

She doesn't.

[Rob Huebel]

She doesn't.

[Audience Member]

She's like. No, I don't hear that bit.

[Shirley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Rob Huebel]

There's a weird angle there where like they're kind of like showing her spine. Like, you know, she's in that like cut off shirt and there, and it's like he's twitching and it's just like showing that like she's a vulnerable human or something. Like, it's really. I was upset by that. I'm on sleep training my baby.

[Audience Member]

So.

[June Diane Raphael]

By the way, I was thinking, we get it.

[Shirley]

You've got friends and you have unprotected sex. We get it.

[Rob Huebel]

Once, one time.

[June Diane Raphael]

Gross. I mean, this is also, I will say to your point, a person who at that point in the movie is wearing chains. So when he would move, you're hearing the rattling. You're always gonna hear the rattling.

[Shirley]

You would also think when it. He sat up, his hockey mask would fall to the ground.

[Rob Huebel]

And there's a, there's a. Sorry, go ahead.

[Audience Member]

I mean, there's another point where, like, he's supposed to be in another room. Oh, it's in the beginning. The guy falls through the door and he's dying. And she's like, oh, what happened? What happened? He's in the room. He threw him through the door. She turns around, he's in the hallway.

[June Diane Raphael]

How did he get there?

[Shirley]

Did he go around?

[Audience Member]

Where is the other door that he came through that he just teleported over there?

[Shirley]

We're not going to have an answer for you. I'm worried about you because you seem genuinely upset about this. We have no answers.

[June Diane Raphael]

She has created like a JFK monument in her house of coordinates.

[Shirley]

You're positing a theory where there's, there's another Jason. There's. It's because this is the magic Jason. There has to be another Jason on the grassy knoll.

[Paul Scheer]

But you're.

[Rob Huebel]

But you bring up a good point that there is so much sneaking up behind people that it's like, it's ridiculous. Like this movie could be called just look behind you. Just like one. Everyone's just backing up, backing up. No one ever goes, I'll just look where I'm going.

[June Diane Raphael]

By the way, how about this? They introduced this so late in the film. There is a ship that they could just easily all get on and then leave Jason on the main ship and get the fuck out of there. He's not blocking it. They don't have to get like.

[Rob Huebel]

But then the one girl blows it up, right?

[June Diane Raphael]

But they, but it would have been so easy. Like, hey, let's all go to that one ship, right? Like they're like, it's like, oh, Jason.

[Rob Huebel]

But then what would we all be doing? We wouldn't be doing.

[June Diane Raphael]

We wouldn't be here.

[Shirley]

And again, again you're acting as if that girl or those people are the characters we're following.

[June Diane Raphael]

Right?

[Shirley]

And it's not. Jason is the character we are following.

[June Diane Raphael]

And my only thought again.

[Shirley]

And Lexi Doig, I guess. Lexi.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Alexa.

[Shirley]

Alexa.

[June Diane Raphael]

Alexa. Oh no, now we just turned on everyone's Alexas at home.

[Shirley]

Oh, Alexa.

[June Diane Raphael]

Alexa Doig.

[Shirley]

Alexa search. Alexa Doig. Alexa, play Steely Dan. Peggy.

[Audience Member]

The other thing.

[Shirley]

Alexa, what's the weather? Oh, this is fun.

[June Diane Raphael]

People at home are like, oh fuck.

[Shirley]

Oh come on Alexa, play.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let the bodies hit the floor.

[Shirley]

So Alexa, wake the baby.

[Audience Member]

Alexa.

[Paul Scheer]

Fuck you.

[Shirley]

Alexa, tell me a joke. Alexa, tell me a dirty joke.

[June Diane Raphael]

Joke. They were like, gotta. I have an Alexa. And I got an email every week. It's like, do you like comedy? Ask Alexa to tell you a limerick.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ew.

[Shirley]

You get that email every week. I would legit kill myself.

[June Diane Raphael]

I keep it around cuz I want to know what the new latest skills I could teach my Alexa are. I don't do any of them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A limerick, A limerick.

[June Diane Raphael]

I just like to like. Do you like comedy? Then ask Alexa for a good limerick. I would like this movie to be Jason running around with the mask constantly falling off. Just that, like, just the slapstick. Killing someone. Oh fuck. Where is it? Where is it?

[Rob Huebel]

My contacts are in that mask.

[Shirley]

Like how they've done 10 of these. How have they never done one? One that's just like the airplane version of this movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sir, your name and your question.

[Audience Member]

My name is Ryan, and unfortunately, it is a bit of a statement, but I have some insight that relates to this movie.

[Rob Huebel]

Are you Todd Farmer?

[Audience Member]

Yes, I have a limerick. No, I can explain Kane Hodder's sour disposition. Okay, so Freddy versus Jason is canon.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, damn. All right.

[Audience Member]

This is something that fans campaigned for, and Kane Hodder and Robert England both campaigned for it. Conventions and stuff. Probably like the one you went to when it finally was gonna happen. All the rights came together in the different studios and whatever. At the end of Jason Goes to Hell, Jason sinks into hell, literally. The mask is all that's left. And the last scene in the movie is Freddy's hand coming up out of the ground and grabbing it.

[Shirley]

So Freddy lives underground in hell.

[Audience Member]

In Jason Goes to Hell, apparently he.

[Rob Huebel]

Has a part of.

[Shirley]

So he has a timeshare.

[Rob Huebel]

So years and years of Donald Trump.

[Audience Member]

Campaigning like this was like Kane Hodder's life was campaigning for this movie to get made. They made the movie with Robert Englund as Freddie. Some other dude is Jason.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, and this is Kane Hodder here in this one. So you think that Kane Hodder is just.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, you're saying. I'm sorry. I thought this whole story was about how. Why Jason is always trying to kill everyone.

[Paul Scheer]

But you're.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I was like, well, hold on.

[Rob Huebel]

And Kane hotter. Well, now I want to know more, because, I don't know. He's probably a nice guy. And also, I don't want to get murdered. Like, please, Kane Hodder, don't.

[Paul Scheer]

Please.

[Shirley]

I'm glad you said that, because up until now, because we've been friends for a long time, I've considered you someone that wanted to be murdered. No, no, no. I.

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Rob Huebel]

Let me be clear. I do not want to be murdered.

[June Diane Raphael]

He said no. He'll always deny it on a podcast, but he definitely wants to be murdered.

[Rob Huebel]

Alexa, don't murder me.

[Paul Scheer]

Alexa.

[Shirley]

Alexa, murder Rob Hubel. Please. Alexa, put Rob Huebel on my do not murder list, as per his instructions. Alexa.

[June Diane Raphael]

Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.

[Audience Member]

Stupid logic. Idiotic. That's what critics say. Great action, superb acting. That's what I am seeing. Top that. Top that. I got a second opinion about that. Top that. Stop that. Top that. Stop that. It's my second opinion, so don't try to stop that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wake up.

[June Diane Raphael]

Give it up for Mike.

[Rob Huebel]

Wow.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Good job, Mike.

[June Diane Raphael]

With a top stat second opinion theme. Good job. From the great film Teen Witch.

[Shirley]

Teen Witch callback.

[June Diane Raphael]

I will say I did not know where it was going to begin with and I was really happy of he.

[Rob Huebel]

Got more confident as the song went along.

[Shirley]

Yeah. If that is the power of Teen Witch. If you're having a bad Alexa play Teen Witch top that. That was great, Mike. Great job. You should be proud of your.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, here we go.

[Shirley]

I still have a problem with those shoes.

[June Diane Raphael]

This one is written by Gerhalt in 2001.

[Rob Huebel]

Fake name.

[June Diane Raphael]

I have a message to all the critics who I'm sure are readying their pins to dump all over this latest installment.

[Rob Huebel]

They're quill pens.

[June Diane Raphael]

Don't bother. We know the acting will probably be horrible and the story won't be pointed or meaningful. And it doesn't matter if it's Oscar caliber performances. You want go see Captain Corelli's mandolin.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Whoa.

[June Diane Raphael]

Somebody has to.

[Rob Huebel]

Whoa.

[Shirley]

Alexa, play Captain Corelli's mandolin.

[June Diane Raphael]

Leave us in our slasher film alone. It doesn't need to make sense or even tie into part nine. All we need is Jason and his hockey mask and nudity and blood.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

And that's it. I've been a fan of Jason since 1982 and I plan to be here to the bloody end. Pun intended. Five stars.

[Rob Huebel]

Sign. Little Rob Hubel, baby.

[Shirley]

Hubs.

[June Diane Raphael]

This one is. This one is a weird.

[Shirley]

You want to pass over it? No, no, no, no.

[June Diane Raphael]

10 fingers, 10 toes. Not enough to count the bodies. Basically. I watch Jason movies because of the high body count, but this movie went too far.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

Jason killed. Kills 20 to 25 people. And that's not counting the thousands he.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Helped blow up Un solaris.

[Shirley]

Oh, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow. Jason's mind is gone. As soon as he sees someone, they're dead. It's the best Friday the 13th movie ever. 5 stars. Wait, I thought that's why it's weird.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It really takes that the road, like turned upside down and then he drove his car upside down.

[Shirley]

Yeah. Mind is gone.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

His mind is gone, but his is gone.

[Shirley]

Guys, it is interesting because they say his brain is so small.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

You know, at some point. So like.

[June Diane Raphael]

But his dick is very big.

[Shirley]

Okay, Paul, wait.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Rob Huebel]

Why did you focus on that one line?

[Shirley]

What's that about? Paul?

[Rob Huebel]

That's the thing that you took away from.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, because I thought it was something. There is.

[June Diane Raphael]

I thought it was weird because she said, but his dick is so big.

[Rob Huebel]

And then she says she's hung like A mammoth.

[Shirley]

Oh, okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

All right. He's hung like a mammoth.

[Paul Scheer]

Paul.

[Rob Huebel]

Why do you know that?

[Shirley]

Yeah, Paul. And she says, I bet he's hung like a mammoth. We just decided it's true and have run with also.

[Rob Huebel]

Just look at his dead, limp dick and find out.

[Shirley]

There's one way to figure this out. Alexa, how big is Jason Voorhees penis?

[Paul Scheer]

Which?

[June Diane Raphael]

Jason Voorhees.

[Shirley]

Alexa, how big as a mammoth's penis?

[June Diane Raphael]

This is one of my favorite Reviews here from Mr. Bavine. Mr. Bavine, one of the guys looked like Laurence Fishburne. And I thought he was until I found out he wasn't. For anyone that didn't know the X in Jason, X means the tenth one. The actors did a good job. And that one girl actually took the dead guy's gun. I've been wanting someone to keep the guy's weapon every time I watch a horror movie. Overall, I'd say this is the best Friday the 13th ever. Five stars.

[Rob Huebel]

Wow.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know, the other thing I just want to ask is, does this movie take place on Friday the 13th?

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No. Okay.

[Shirley]

Because there is no Friday the 13th in space.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right?

[June Diane Raphael]

That's Earth, too. They've outlawed it with.

[Shirley]

That does make me. It does make me, like, kind of begs the question, what is Jason? I still haven't gotten an answer.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, well, you're gonna struggle with that until you die.

[Shirley]

What is Jason? Do you know? No.

[Rob Huebel]

He's a shooting star, bro.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then, finally, this is a very heavily edited review, like eight, nine paragraphs here from Techno Machinima 1996. And I'm just gonna read the final paragraph, pronounced machina. Oh, yeah, Techno X. Mach. But there's no X, so it's techno. It's not even spelled like that. Okay. Overall, if you're looking for unique sci fi horror experience, if you like to look at attractive and decidedly sexy people, if you're into Jason and Friday the 13th but need something different, if you like super awesome special effects, if you like action, if you like humor, if you like sex appeal in your horror movies, and you want to see Jason in a whole new way, well, then this movie's definitely for you.

[Rob Huebel]

Super awesome special effects. Really?

[June Diane Raphael]

What? Why?

[Shirley]

Why?

[Rob Huebel]

What is Jason?

[Shirley]

What is Jason? Why when Jason gets, you know, fixed by the ants, does he get turned into, like, Bane?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Why is he so much more, like, ripped?

[Shirley]

He's jacked and he's half metal and he's like. It's like he gets.

[Rob Huebel]

Cause the ants fucked him. They all fuck. If you got fucked by Ants. You'd be.

[Shirley]

So you think that is a sexual process?

[June Diane Raphael]

Why wouldn't they regenerate his skin? And why would they regenerate his mask? Yeah, like, because it's nanotechnology.

[Rob Huebel]

Why were his eyes red?

[Shirley]

Smoking that weed, bro.

[June Diane Raphael]

Because a replicant, right? The replicants all have red eyes.

[Shirley]

Oh, is that right?

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, guys, sorry. Didn't mean to go crazy with my Blade Runner.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now he looks like. Like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, my Blade Runner.

[Paul Scheer]

Hot.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I said I thought he looked like. Like Bebop or Rocksteady, like from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with a little bit of Krang because his head's so brick.

[Rob Huebel]

I have a. I have a question, too.

[Shirley]

I would. I would maybe, like, say Legend of the Ooze more. But let's see.

[Rob Huebel]

I have a question, too. At the very end, where those, the horny teens see the shooting star of Jason and Brodsky, they're on.

[Shirley]

On Earth 2.

[Paul Scheer]

Earth.

[Shirley]

Earth 2.

[Rob Huebel]

Okay, okay, that's what I want.

[Audience Member]

Earth 2.

[Rob Huebel]

Which is somehow habitable, because I was told.

[Shirley]

Yeah, because we destroyed Earth.

[Rob Huebel]

Yeah, but I thought all planets were uninhabitable.

[Shirley]

No, just Earth regularly.

[Rob Huebel]

Paul, edit that out.

[Shirley]

Earth 2 is fine. Alexa, is Earth 2 still habitable?

[June Diane Raphael]

Does anyone want to take a swing at what the tagline might be for this?

[Rob Huebel]

Don't wreck my pants.

[June Diane Raphael]

It is this Halloween. Meet the perfect 10 in terror. Now, what is interesting about that is this movie came out April 26th.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And also. Wait, I'm sorry. And this is. You might just also have to edit this out, because it's a genuine question. This movie is not from the Halloween series either, right?

[June Diane Raphael]

No. Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So, okay, yeah, yeah. This Halloween, perfect 10.

[Rob Huebel]

Isn't April 26th like Easter?

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, again, that would go with the other good tagline, resurrection. He's been drowned, chainsawed, knifed, axed, hammered, shocked, burned, spiked, nailed, shot, and frozen. And now he's back for more. Like, it's, you know, Resurrection.

[Shirley]

Wait, was he in Frozen? Jason. Not a lot of people.

[June Diane Raphael]

He is the Stonemate.

[Shirley]

Olaf.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. Yeah. This movie came out in 2002. The number. The top three movies that year were Spider Man, Lord of the Rings, the Two Towers, Star wars, episode two. And the budget was $11 million, and worldwide it made 16 million. It was a profitable.

[Rob Huebel]

So we're the dicks.

[Shirley]

We don't know. We don't know for peanuts.

[Rob Huebel]

Don't use fucking industry terms on me, Alexa.

[Shirley]

Buy the house on Blu Ray. One click. Purchase.

[Rob Huebel]

This.

[Shirley]

Sales just blew right after this episode. Like, bam. A huge spike.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's so obviously we watch these movies because they're like fun bad movies. And so now let's go around and see. Do you believe that this is a fun bad movie to watch? You don't have to agree to it. You. It's your own opinion. Would you recommend people to watch this film if they have not seen it?

[Rob Huebel]

I will say watch this movie. Don't watch this movie while you're watching your baby try to go to sleep because you. You're listening to people getting murdered and people screaming while you're watching your baby also scream at you. This is a very niche angle on this.

[June Diane Raphael]

You should have put your iPad in the baby's crib. Then you could be watching your baby end the movie almost like you're at a drive in.

[Rob Huebel]

I should have just seen the baby.

[Shirley]

Monitor on which is the iPad playing the movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Shirley]

Smart. Really smart and not damaging at all to the baby.

[June Diane Raphael]

Jason, any. What would you. What would you say here?

[Shirley]

You know, it's. It's fine. There are better. There are better. We've done better. The Halloween that we did Season of the Witch.

[June Diane Raphael]

Leprechaun. Yeah, we did Season of the Witch.

[Shirley]

Season of the Witch.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's what it.

[Shirley]

Yeah, okay, sorry. That or Leprechaun in the Hood. Right? That's what the leprechaun was. Yeah. Those movies are better. Troll the Troll 2.

[June Diane Raphael]

We did not do that.

[Shirley]

But that's a good. Like there are better.

[Rob Huebel]

Please ask me back for troll.

[Shirley]

Oh yeah, for sure. There are better. Like this is fine. And watch it if you want. It's fun. It is very self aware. It's very goofy. There's.

[June Diane Raphael]

But not enough. Like it's not enough.

[Shirley]

Nor. That's the thing is it's a bit neither. Nor. If you don't watch it, I think you're fine. I don't think. It's not like it's Miami Connection, right. Which every single Alexa purchase. Miami Connection. That movie is like the greatest. And this is kind of like blah, if I'm being honest. Jeff.

[Paul Scheer]

Jenny.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I would say it's worth it for one thing, which is that the costume designer truly put everyone, almost everyone in some sort of sort of velour vest or belly shirt or belly shirt.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. The costume designer is really the person to look out for. I feel like that is. It is really.

[Shirley]

They made a real attempt to provide futuristic tech and all that stuff, but they just assumed that everybody in 400 years in the future will dress like people in 2002.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Like real chenille kind of stuff. I really. It's great for that. And if you like to smoke weed. But I. But I would say it was. I mean, I'm like, it was a little bit gross, you know?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

To me, I would say, like, I find it to be, like, the same way. I was like, yeah, it was fine.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was fine.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's a movie. There's other movies we talked about in the beginning. Other horror movies that went to space were Hellraiser, Leprechaun, and Critters. So maybe we just do four of these and just figure out what's the best person in space.

[Shirley]

Space.

[Rob Huebel]

I think a better version of this movie would have been the whole. If the whole thing had been.

[Paul Scheer]

Or.

[Rob Huebel]

Or no, at the midpoint of the movie, if it had switched to the SIM of Crystal Lake. Like, once they got into that, I thought, like, oh, that's the movie. Like, that's the thing. I mean, not the girls. Like, we love premarital sex. But I mean, it would have been.

[Shirley]

Interesting to have to have the people on the ship act like they were in. In a summer camp, like on Earth. On an old Earth.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A full circle.

[Shirley]

That they don't know what it is.

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[Shirley]

So they're having to do it in order to lure Jason out or. That would have been fun.

[Rob Huebel]

Are you listening to this fucking farmer?

[Shirley]

Are you taking note on farmersonly.com just dating himself.

[June Diane Raphael]

He's always liking himself.

[Rob Huebel]

Ding dong. Oh, it's me.

[June Diane Raphael]

A big thank you to Avril Halley who cuts all of our amazing clips. July Diaz, who's up in the booth. Nate Kiley does all this research and listen to the Jason X commentary track into copious notes. Kelly Alto, Leanna Waldron, everybody here at Largo, everybody at Earwolf, thank you so much and good night.

[I]

Hey, guys, Joel Kim Booster here with a very exciting announcement that I, I am the newest host of the podcast Bad Dates. I am so excited to be here and sharing all the wildest, most chaotic and iconic bad date stories with you. I'll be joined by friends like Peppermint, Scott Thompson, Casey Wilson, Ron Funches, and MJ Rodriguez, and we'll hear all about their most notorious bad dates. It'll make you laugh, cry, cringe, and maybe make you feel a little better about your own dating life. You don't want to miss it. Listen to Bad Dates by subscribing to Sirius XM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or listening wherever you get your podcasts.

[June Diane Raphael]

Bad Dates.

[Audience Member]

It's Cybersecurity Awareness Month and Lifelock is here with tips to help protect your identity use strong passwords, set up multi factor authentication and report phishing scams. And for comprehensive identity protection, Lifelock is your best choice. LifeLock alerts you to suspicious uses of.

[Paul Scheer]

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