Merry Kissmas w/ Jessica St. Clair

Summary

How Did This Get Made? – Merry Kissmas w/ Jessica St. Clair

Date: December 12, 2025
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guest: Jessica St. Clair

---

Episode Overview

The How Did This Get Made? crew gathers for their annual holiday livestream, joined by comedian Jessica St. Clair, to gleefully pick apart Merry Kissmas — a made-for-TV Christmas romance apparently financed by Kay Jewelers. The panel dissects the film’s awkward relationships, lack of movie magic, props, plot holes, and wild choices (from accents to facial hair), while spiraling into comedic tangents about elevator kisses, dog cookies, and the unsung magic of socks.

---

Main Themes and Purpose

• Celebrate (“Wallow in”) Bad Holiday Movies: The team examines the finer (and unfiner) points of Merry Kissmas, marveling at its head-scratching creative decisions and unintentional hilarity.
• Magic of Christmas? Or the Absurdity of Filmmaking? Despite earnest holiday cues, the movie leaves the panel mystified by its half-baked magical elements and bizarre plot mechanics.
• Comedic Riffs on Romance Tropes, Kink, and Product Placement: Beyond the movie, the hosts detour to discuss mistletoe, elevator “magic”, Kay Jewelers product placement, and even foot fashion philosophy.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Plot and the Elevator “Magic”

• Quick Recap: Paul summarizes (02:14):
  "It’s about a young woman who is in love but falls out of love when mistletoe forces her to kiss a man that she realizes is her true soulmate. I think that’s roughly the plot."
• Magic or Not?:
  • Multiple elements (the elevator, Doris Roberts’s character, Santa, a pond) seem poised for Christmas magic, but nothing’s ever truly explained and the so-called magic is underwhelming (05:34).
  • Quote (06:05):
    Paul: “But is it magic? Is it magic?” June: “The movie keeps wanting you to feel magic … but it’s always in service of no magic.”

2. Doris Roberts, Elevator Kisses, and Sexual Weirdness

• Iconic Doris Roberts: She plays the “magical” older woman, but the panel finds her more predatory than enchanting.
  • June: “She might have kicked off a magical thing with a kiss. … No magic.”
  • Jason: “The only sexual chemistry that anybody had was between the cousins.” (03:34)
• Elevator Kisses & Consent: The hosts riff on the recurring motif of unsolicited kisses.
  • Jason: “If you’re standing in an elevator and someone rushed in and just started kissing you…” (22:03)
  • June: “Few people in this movie are receiving kisses that they wanted. … Many of the kisses are unprompted and surprising.” (69:02)
• Movie’s Core Kink: Jason: “Are we comfortable with this sexy elevator play? I would love it to be consensual.” (81:03)

3. Baffling Characters & Performances

• Carlton (Fiancé/Director):
  • His accent drifts, and he sports what the hosts call “Mondrian” and “Tony Stark” beards.
  • June: “Not only would he not be on the marquee, it wouldn't be just a random candid photo…”
• The Cousins’ Chemistry:
  • Jason maintains this is the film’s only convincing romantic energy (03:34, 14:09).
• Kayla (Lead):
  • June and Jessica defend her, praising the chemistry of the leads.
  • June: “She is engaged to be married, leaves a planning meeting for her engagement party, runs, chases a man into an elevator and begins to make out.” (15:41)

4. Setting, Props, and Hallmark Tropes

• “Nowhere Looks Like Christmas”
  • Jason: “It ain’t Christmas, bitch.” (11:48)
  • The fake-snow, excessive winterwear, and lack of Christmasy atmosphere are derided.
• Kay Jewelers Product Placement
  • Paul: “Kay's jeweler must have also paid for the bracelet. Yes, the bracelet. That's the colors of Christmas.” (34:17)
  • The panel lambasts the ugly jewelry integration ("that bracelet makes me want to barf" – Jason, 34:57).

5. Hallmark Hallmarks

• Plot Devices Galore:
  • Wishes with Santa, dog adoption, bakery fundraising, quirky townspeople.
  • June: “This writer just took all of them. … Instead of just like, you take four and then write around the four.” (73:54)
• Montages with No Progress:
  • Costume changes suggest days pass within an afternoon, with scenes often ending where they begin (66:07).

6. Production Details and Funny Discoveries

• Director and Writer's Odd Résumés:
  • Director previously did dog Christmas and serial killer movies (04:34).
  • Writer specializes in elevator-romance films and runs “Passion Flicks” with Elon Musk’s sister (75:08).
• Crew as Cast:
  • The line producer plays the bellhop (74:51).
• Cameo:
  • Brant Daugherty (star of the movie) offers a hilarious video segment:
    • “This movie was written by an insane person… She’s written exclusively holiday films where the leads kiss in an elevator. … Doris Roberts… pulls me and kisses me, slips me the fucking tongue, and then slaps me and walks away.” (56:23–57:56)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

03:45 – Jason Mantzoukas:
"The only sexual chemistry that anybody had was between the cousins."

06:05 – Paul and June:
"But is it magic? Is it magic?"
"The movie keeps wanting you to feel magic… but it’s always in service of no magic."

11:48 – Jason Mantzoukas:
"Yeah. And it ain't Christmas, bitch."

22:03 – Jason Mantzoukas:
"What would you do, honestly, if you're standing in an elevator, someone rushed in and just started kissing you?"

34:57 – Jason Mantzoukas:
"That bracelet makes me want to barf."

56:23 – Brant Daugherty (Movie Star Cameo):
"This movie was written by an insane person…I looked up her résumé, and it turns out she's written exclusively holiday films where the leads kiss in an elevator. … Doris Roberts… pulls me and kisses me, slips me the fucking tongue, and then slaps me and walks away. Anyway, the movie makes no sense on a cellular level from moment to moment."

81:03 – Jason Mantzoukas:
"Are we comfortable with this sexy elevator play? I would love it to be consensual, is all I'm saying."

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• 00:00–01:43: (Skip; Ads and Intro)
• 02:14: Paul summarizes the plot.
• 03:45: Jason observes the cousin chemistry.
• 06:05: The “magic” discussion.
• 11:48: Jason delivers his “it ain’t Christmas, bitch” verdict.
• 15:41–16:19: The morality of Kayla’s elevator affair, Martha Stewart digression.
• 22:03: Hypothetical elevator kissing etiquette conversation.
• 34:17–34:57: Kay Jewelers bracelet/product placement dissection.
• 56:23–57:56: Brant Daugherty's behind-the-scenes story.
• 66:07: Montage and time-passing confusion.
• 69:02: Face grabbing and non-consensual kiss analysis.
• 74:51: Revelation of bellhop/line producer and writer’s streaming service.
• 81:03: Elevator kink/consent riff.
• 82:44: Jason and June pitch the movie that should have been made: "Soft Magic: The Elevator."
• 83:46: Would the panel recommend the film? (General consensus: "Sure, for holiday background, but it's a baffling experience.")

---

Recurring Jokes and Tangents

• “Merry Kissmas and a Happy Blow Year”
  • A running gag about the film’s lack of actual sexual energy despite the suggestive premise (03:04, 55:55).
• Sock Talk:
  • Lengthy sidetrack about the emotional journey of upgrading socks and the semiotics of playful versus “serious” socks (50:01–53:55).
• Product Placement Disasters:
  • Kay Jewelers, Bombas, and the intrusive branding in “holiday movies.”
• Elevator Kissing Kink:
  • Affectionately dubbed “elevator play” or, for the UK, “lift play” (81:14).
• Cousin Chemistry & Older Women:
  • Jokes about the relative ages of female characters (“Every woman in this is elderly”—39:48) and alternate pairings.

---

Listener Value

• Get the full plot saga without seeing the film,
• Relive the funniest riffs and running jokes,
• Enjoy actual insight into how generic holiday movies are constructed,
• Hear the bizarre and actual behind-the-scenes details straight from an actor,
• Absorb the podcast’s mix of affectionate mockery, disbelief, and comedic invention.

---

Conclusion

How Did This Get Made’s deep-dive into Merry Kissmas is a hilarious, if slightly exasperated, chronicle of a movie where logic, magic, and romantic chemistry go to die, saved only by the hosts’ glee and the endless tangents they wring from the film’s many oddities. Whether you’re seeking a blueprint for every so-bad-they’re-funny holiday film or simply want some “soft magic” in your podcast lineup, this episode wraps itself up as a comedic gift.

---

Recommended Segments:

• Behind-the-scenes with Brant Daugherty (56:23)
• The mistletoe/elevator/high-velocity consent discussion (21:06–23:43)
• Product placement roasting (34:17–35:07)
• Elevator kink/soft magic riff (81:03–82:51)

Essential Quote:
"Sorted. Yes, absolutely for the thing. But if you're going to be watching … put this in the mix…" — June Diane Raphael (82:57)

---

End of Summary

Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

Why does St. Nick get all the credit when moms do all the work? Michelle Pfeiffer stars as Claire Closter in oh what Fun, a heartwarming holiday comedy from acclaimed director Michael Showalter. When Claire's family accidentally leaves her at home after she's planned the perfect Christmas outing, she's had enough. So she embarks on an impromptu adventure that turns into the holiday freedom that she never knew she needed. Stream oh what Fun now on Prime Video and discover the joy of a Christmas gone delightfully off script.

[Paul Scheer]

Alienware's sale of the season lets you.

[Host/Announcer]

Unleash peak performance at big holiday savings. Save on select Alienware PCs like the groundbreaking Alienware 16 Area 51 gaming laptop, taking performance to the next level with Intel Core Ultra processors. And even better, you can get it before the holidays. Plus, you can save on all the latest accessories and displays like the Alienware 32.4K QD OLED gaming monitor. Visit alienware.com before it's too late. This message is brought to you by Sonos this holiday season, Sonos makes an amazing gift. Surprise someone who loves music. Upgrade a home theater for movie nights or keep it simple with a little to me from me moment. I have been on the Sonos train forever and guess what?

[Paul Scheer]

I just put one of those bass.

[Host/Announcer]

Amps in a smaller room and now every movie sounds a million times better. If you want studio quality sound at home, explore Sonos speakers, sound bars and [e-mail] and discover how easy it is to build your own whole home audio system.

[Paul Scheer]

Dear Residents, Due to rampant complaints of sexual harassment from an elderly woman, we were removing the mistletoe from the elevator, effective immediately. We saw Merry Kissmas so you know what that means.

[June Diane Raphael]

Now it's time for celebrate some failure.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not just be a hater.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cause you know, you wonder how did this remain? Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question how did this Get Made?

[Paul Scheer]

Hello people of Earth, and welcome to the how did this Get Made Annual livestream. We are here to talk tonight about a film called Merry Christmas, a film financed apparently by Kay Jewelers. Partly finance, I should say. And what's the plot if you haven't seen it? Well, it's about a young woman who is in love but falls out of love when Mistletoe forces her to kiss a man that she realizes is her true soulmate. I think that's roughly the plot. But you know what? Let's break it all down here we go.

[June Diane Raphael]

I have thoughts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I didn't see that.

[Paul Scheer]

Too much pressure to have you all sitting next to me for that opening.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just staring at you.

[Paul Scheer]

Staring at me. So I needed to get there quickly. Welcome to Jason.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And by the way, may be the first to say Merry Christmas.

[Paul Scheer]

Merry.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Merry Christmas.

[June Diane Raphael]

Merry Christmas.

[Paul Scheer]

And a happy blow year.

[Host/Announcer]

A what?

[Paul Scheer]

A happy blow year.

[June Diane Raphael]

A happy blow year.

[Jessica St. Clair]

What is that?

[Paul Scheer]

Like a blow?

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah, right.

[Paul Scheer]

Stop.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I'm sorry. Cut the stream, Wes.

[Paul Scheer]

Merry kiss. And a happy blow year. I thought that's what you.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That's what it was kind of like building to do.

[June Diane Raphael]

I wish that this movie had anywhere near that kind of sexual char. Charged. I believe none of the people in this movie have given or received a blowjob ever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I will argue and we. I'm gonna have a whole speech to make about this that the only sexual chemistry that anybody had was between the cousins.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, the cousin and Joshua. I think the cousin and Joshua from the animal shelter. Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Deep side part.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Deep side part. No. They were on fire.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We never saw.

[Paul Scheer]

Here's what I'm gonna say just for fans. This is directed by someone who we've covered multiple times in the show. The director of the 12 Pups of Christmas and the dog who Saved Christmas.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So that makes sense. Is this. Well, I was about to say, is this his first film or hers or her story? Although I don't want to claim this for my gender, but is this his or hers. First Christmas movie without dogs? Is what I was about to say.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But there is a dog in it. Barkley.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sorry, June. Do you not remember?

[Jessica St. Clair]

I forgot for a second.

[Paul Scheer]

I will say if you don't remember. This director has an interesting type of films that he makes. Yes, he makes Christmas movies. He makes Christmas dog movies. And he also makes serial killer films. He made a film about BTK and John Wayne Gacy and he also.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's what this movie needed. A little bit more of bind, torture, kill.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's what we had in the Doris Roberts elevator. That's where it came out.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Jessica. There was an element, you're absolutely right. Of danger.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Desperation and violence.

[June Diane Raphael]

I agree. Sexual violence.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She put her finger in and out of his.

[June Diane Raphael]

I desperately wanted her to be a ghost. I wanted her to be revealed to be not real because there was something.

[Jessica St. Clair]

What was fun about otherworldly emotions so much.

[June Diane Raphael]

Everybody in this movie is so weirdly passive in all regards, except Doris Roberts, who like a shark is moving through this world from one make out to another.

[Paul Scheer]

But I will say this. Every character that we meet, you Think, oh, well, they'll have a magical part like Doris Roberts. She might have kicked off a magical thing with a kiss. This Santa Claus, the doorman, the pond.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That she throws a coin into.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

No. No magic. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

The movie keeps wanting you to feel magic. And it's giving you the audio cue of that. That's like a magic thing is happening, but it's always in service of no magic. And I think the only thing that's posited as magic is the elevator.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, but is it magic? Is it magic?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do a little door's backwards.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't want it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I just did what he couldn't do, which was say no. Which was say no and get away now.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And here's the thing. I didn't get the performance from Doris Roberts. Like, I really found it fascinating that he couldn't say no. And by the way, like, I don't mean to say, obviously, many victims of sexual violence. No, don't say no. In our Frozen.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Our Frozen in Fear.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I don't know how I went down.

[Paul Scheer]

This road, but did say she only wanted this movie released after she was dead because she could really do what she needed to get there.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I don't blame him. I do think he froze, but it was very strange because it felt like he was playing. The energy he was playing was like, I don't want to offend a sweet old lady. And I wanted to say my brother in Christ.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She is dangerous.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes, she is.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Don't worry about her. And she can handle it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Am I the only one that desperately wanted her and Carlton to end up at the end?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Who's together?

[June Diane Raphael]

The fiance.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's wild.

[Paul Scheer]

I will say I want to talk.

[Jessica St. Clair]

About him roughly for the next hour, 800 minutes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, absolutely British. Carlton.

[Jessica St. Clair]

No, not British.

[June Diane Raphael]

Darling, darling, please, darling.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was British.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Was he British?

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, I think he's trying to play British.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I thought when he first started talking, I thought it was a French accent.

[June Diane Raphael]

Or is it actor? Or is it pretentious? Actor. Yeah. Although he's not an actor. He's a producer, director of a film of a Nutcracker ballet in Palo Alto, California.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

And is being treated as if he's a Sondheim.

[Paul Scheer]

But it also seemed like. It did seem like he also was famous for other things. Like, it's like almost like if Steven Spielberg decided to direct.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, he has the fame of an actor. Yeah, he has the fame of like a pin up. Like, they have headshots. Well, that him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think the reason we're thinking that is that they used the actual actors headshot.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, yes, they did.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And what I saw was a man, his. Obviously it was like an early 2000s, you know, headshot where he did not have that insane facial hair that I want to discuss.

[Paul Scheer]

Was that an actor's choice? I think that that was an actor's choice for the role.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Have you ever seen that?

[Jessica St. Clair]

It was a triangle. It was shapes. Face. Yeah, it was shapes. Rudimentary shapes. A line, a square.

[June Diane Raphael]

Is it a Van Dyke?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A triangle?

[Paul Scheer]

No, a Van Dyke, I think has more of a spike.

[June Diane Raphael]

You might be right. You might be right. I don't know. But it was. It looks almost like a Tony Stark never has beard.

[Paul Scheer]

I think he was trying to go.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So what is that artist Mondrian with the blocks? Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Post impressionist, sort of.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That's what it looks like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's the thing. I'm sure the chat is going wild. We guys, we talk about Mondrian too much on the podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, it's our go to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Every time we talk about Mondrian, everyone takes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Everybody's too wasted because we're talking about Mondra so much. I do want to know.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, it seems like the show is getting very close to happening.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's mere days away.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I want to say something. Okay. I know they had his headshots and that confused some of us.

[Paul Scheer]

I believe we have a picture of that headache.

[Jessica St. Clair]

They also, though, put his face on the marquee.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Was that his face?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like, he's like, hey, it's me. I thought he was going to be the star of like a movie, as if he was going to be doing the Christmas Carol and he was going to be screwed.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, look at this two or, sorry, image two is we have the image of him.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But this is him with long hair. I didn't know that was him.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So many different versions.

[June Diane Raphael]

He looks like from this distance too. He looks like Milo Vent me. He looks like Jess from Gilmore Girls.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you. He. They didn't have enough money to do a separate photo shoot of what is.

[Jessica St. Clair]

His job that he should be like, if he is a Steven Spielberg or even if he's a Sondheim, he would never be on the marquee. So no, that.

[Host/Announcer]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

You don't see that Presents.

[June Diane Raphael]

Not only would he not be in the marquee, it wouldn't be just a random candid photo that he's been photoshopped out of and put on the market.

[Jessica St. Clair]

What you didn't say earlier, when you're describing all of his roles. Was choreographer.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, yes, but is he a choreographer?

[Jessica St. Clair]

She.

[June Diane Raphael]

Someone says that a lot.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Nutcracker is already choreographed. I don't mean to. I don't know that much about dance person there. You need a dance person there. But he's not. Correct me if I'm wrong. Chat isn't the nut. Aren't those dances already, like. Don't you learn the Nutcracker?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think there is probably interpretations on a theme. I don't think that's what that was.

[Paul Scheer]

You're saying that a choreographer is only employed to come up with new dance moves?

[Jessica St. Clair]

I thought that's what a choreographer.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's what I'm in agreement with June in the sense that I think this guy is pulling a scam. Well, I don't think he is. He is acting as if he is producing the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show.

[Paul Scheer]

But this is the thing. Why you could set it anywhere.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why put it in Palo Alto, at least Christmasy place. Somebody lived there. Somebody had a deal with the mayor. Somebody had a tax. Something. Yes, because it makes no sense. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

But it was even shot in Palo Alto.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It wasn't where we.

[Paul Scheer]

Riverside.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, Riverside.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Felt to me like Canada all over the place. Yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

Riverside, California.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So I think you can't have a Christmas movie without fake snow. And that's where Hallmark does it, right? They shoot on the same lot. They have the snow going. They've got the bandstand. Like, I can't do it in that kind of climate.

[Jessica St. Clair]

We live in that climate.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And it ain't Christmas, bitch.

[June Diane Raphael]

I agree. It does it.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow. By the way, can you say one more?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And it ain't Christmas. As much garland as you want.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I. I mean, my children live here and I. As much of a Christmas experience.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You're doing your best. You're doing your best, but it's not good enough.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I will say my favorite Christmas movie is Mixed Nuts. That takes place in Los Angeles, in.

[Paul Scheer]

Venice, in Santa Monica.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. Yes. Yeah. So the.

[Jessica St. Clair]

The rollerblading, like walking with.

[Paul Scheer]

Commenting on the.

[Host/Announcer]

On.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All I'm saying is I do.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Nature is a way to do it. And I wish you wouldn't dismiss our state and our climate and say, like, we can't have Christmas or we can't portray Christmas.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We can't.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's what I don't think the movie can.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And I agree with you there, but give us another chance.

[June Diane Raphael]

The movie wants it both ways because they also keep putting people in winter coats and stuff that's supposed to be hats. And it's Supposed to feel winter sweaters.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Poor carolers who were not good singers.

[Jessica St. Clair]

They.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But they probably.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cuz they're about to pass.

[Jessica St. Clair]

There was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They were definitely working the craft.

[Paul Scheer]

Well they. By the way they were not working it. They were dubbed.

[June Diane Raphael]

And so there's so much adr, so many ADR lines in this movie. But it's clear they only had a male voice and a female voice for all the ADR lines. So even when it's our leads and it's an ADR line, it's not them.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yes, I saw that too, Jason.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's not them.

[Paul Scheer]

Just take a look at how off they are on the sinking here. Wish you a merry Christmas. Just look at their lips.

[June Diane Raphael]

Where's the bell? Nobody's ringing the bell. Nobody's. Nobody's holding the bell.

[Paul Scheer]

Happy New Year.

[June Diane Raphael]

Where is the bell? And those. Those characters recur throughout the movie.

[Paul Scheer]

Another non magical reoccurrence.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh well, these movie would have magic in it in some way shape or form. And it.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Or the one. The one possible piece of magic we didn't discuss was the actual nutcracker.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, well I think I have trauma from the other movies we've watched because every time that. When that nutcracker. I thought she's gonna. That nutcracker. If we've learned anything from Christmas movies that bitches want to. Nutcrackers.

[June Diane Raphael]

You've got incoming. Very coarse, very coarse. Oh yeah, no, but I saw it too and I was like, well you.

[Paul Scheer]

Need to come together a jest Sinclair. Like you're like. Like you need to have your own Christmas special. Bitches be fucking nutcracker.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, well you can see. Cause there is. There's a lot of adr. There's a. They're dropping in like the bell ringing in that. But like when she saw the nutcracker in the window for the first time, there is an audible splash sound effect that is just her getting drenched.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, drenched for the cracker in the cookie. Cause didn't we see one where cookies came to life too?

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

A nutcracker.

[Paul Scheer]

A nutcracker came to life.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yeah, but.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I thought when the cookies were there, I'm like these are gonna come to life.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like I just kept waiting for projects.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To come to life.

[June Diane Raphael]

Honestly, I feel like I. I enjoyed the movie less because I kept wanting something to come to life and someone.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It's interesting because when I. When Paul and I were watching all the actors. Yeah. I actually. And I know you felt differently. Better not change your opinion. You better not change your opinion now for for these two and for that. All of them out there. I know you and I both enjoyed the main leads.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, absolutely.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Love them. Wanted them together. We wanted them together under the bridge. We liked their chemistry.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, the two main leads?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Mainly main leads.

[June Diane Raphael]

The two people that are in an emotional affair.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, yeah, I guess.

[June Diane Raphael]

She is engaged.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, but it's loose.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's. It's loose.

[June Diane Raphael]

She is engaged to be married, leaves a planning meeting for her engagement party, runs, chases a man into an elevator and begins to make out.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Wait, is that.

[Paul Scheer]

Can you do that?

[June Diane Raphael]

Ladies, can you do that? Is that cool?

[Jessica St. Clair]

If you saw Martha Stewart's documentary, which I highly recommend, she talks about a similar moment where she was in the Dwarf. Yes. She was married. And then she went to Florence, fell in love with the food, the sights, the art.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That was their honeymoon. You're right.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It was her honeymoon. She goes on a separate trip to see the heartbreak scenario. She's up there and she's. She leaves the tour or whatever, and there's this beautiful Italian man, and she makes out with him in the duomo.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And she does not consider cheating.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And she doesn't. She didn't then, and I don't think she does now. And I do think that's the moment we saw with Kayla.

[Paul Scheer]

Wait a second.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Jewelers. Kayla and Casey. Derek, Casey, Dustin.

[Paul Scheer]

Casey, Dustin, I believe his husband named.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She got so caught up in the moment.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, she was using him. Who cares?

[June Diane Raphael]

She's running away from the woman.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Such a. I agree. She should be making out with Santa.

[June Diane Raphael]

She should break up with the ass.

[Paul Scheer]

First of all, I want to disagree. She was good.

[June Diane Raphael]

Can't consent.

[Paul Scheer]

She was good enough at her job. Getting him his headache medication.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Scheer]

Picking up his socks and doing his cleaning. Maybe she would find some love, but she's just shirking off her responsibility.

[June Diane Raphael]

I did not like it. I did not like that she was. I couldn't figure out why she was running away from the woman who runs the tchotchke store.

[Paul Scheer]

Is that a woman, like, oddly.

[June Diane Raphael]

German?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She's the. She's the shop owner.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Mrs. Tiddlywinkle. Mrs. Joyner.

[June Diane Raphael]

June, you seem to be very proud of yourself that you know all the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Character names she's experiencing.

[June Diane Raphael]

Is this a new thing?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is like.

[Paul Scheer]

She's so proud.

[June Diane Raphael]

Are you doing. Are you taking the new. Are you doing a Nerf Differently.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And this time I remember them, but she's like, Jana. Let's talk about Jana.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yeah, we'll talk about Jana. We'll talk about the Jana.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way is the one who did say, aren't they engaged? And she's like, no, that's not serious.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, that's.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She's not. Because you can't take it seriously. She's in an abusive relationship.

[June Diane Raphael]

She should get out of it before she starts making out with Judy.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And elegance. It's so puritanical in this movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The reality of this movie is that the way people get away from people is to just make out with a stranger. And nobody is surprised by it, even him. Really?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, because that's the sign. You have a book. The Art of Small Talk. What chapter do you have when you have to just grab somebody and kiss them?

[June Diane Raphael]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

That is like. That's a small talk move, right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Listen, I wish that was a rule in our modern day society.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I do.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has no time to prepare for this kiss. She's not following him. He doesn't know he's being chased.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Does he need how much to be.

[June Diane Raphael]

Assaulted in my building?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Well, okay, if you're. Are you talking about Doris Roberts or Kayla?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I'm talking about Kayla. Kayla comes in hot.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Kayla is adorable. I love the actress.

[Paul Scheer]

Just because she doesn't. I know the thing I'm not disagreeing with.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I don't want you to. I don't want you to kowtow to all, you know, all of them.

[June Diane Raphael]

So you're saying Paul's up for grabs in elevators? As long as she's beautiful and not Doris Roberts. Yeah, as long as she's cute.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I would be very upset. Of course I would be upset. But if Paul were in a miserable relationship where he was in some sort of like, hot. She is being kept emotionally hostage.

[Paul Scheer]

Let's watch this scene.

[Host/Announcer]

Look at.

[June Diane Raphael]

He doesn't know she's there.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

When have you ever seen a glass door on an elevator?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, when have you ever seen a glass door? No glass doors.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Paul Scheer]

You want to get in?

[Jessica St. Clair]

I know. You should start getting prepared. And now it's happening.

[Paul Scheer]

This woman, now she just saw an affair.

[June Diane Raphael]

Now everybody in this small town knows she's from here. Kayla. Everybody knows she's engaged to the superstar. Look at the them. They're gonna about to go in for more.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I know. I loved it.

[Paul Scheer]

I thought it was.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, she's wearing a gigantic diamond ring. How does he not notice the ring?

[Brant Daugherty]

The ring ain't no running away from Mrs. Joyner.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

He knows it as a thing.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're trying to get away too.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

See, that's my point. He thinks it's no bigs. Like I Get.

[June Diane Raphael]

He thinks he's meeting the love of his life.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Guys, we are under a mistletoe. I feel like we're forgetting.

[Paul Scheer]

Where is it?

[Jessica St. Clair]

It's above it.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's on the. It's in the. It's. It is up there, but you don't.

[Paul Scheer]

This.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Why not One life to live.

[June Diane Raphael]

There is way to one life. Why not?

[Jessica St. Clair]

We are. Our hearts beat. We have one go round. This is not a dress rehearsal.

[June Diane Raphael]

She should immediately say, I'm sorry, I'm engaged, and call her guy and say, you're dumped, and now they can be in love.

[Brant Daugherty]

Casey.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Kayla.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, they have not met. Oh, so cool. Oh, why not?

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

See that?

[Paul Scheer]

I do think that if you're making a movie about mistletoe in an elevator, it should be more prominently displayed, like, well, it's okay because of this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Tell us that the mistletoe affects everybody through magic, and they cannot not kiss.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, can we just back up for a second?

[Jessica St. Clair]

They're just following Christmas rules. Chris. Rules state, if you have mistletoe over you, it drums to kiss.

[June Diane Raphael]

But no, it's an engagement.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It does. I wouldn't want to be under mistletoe if I am.

[Paul Scheer]

She's running to escape. She's not making a mistletoe choice. No, she is making yes.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She has no idea. He knows he's under mistletoe, and then it's a great kiss. Why not go back for a little more? Because now we are under.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, he should have said, well, you know, we are.

[June Diane Raphael]

If I'm him and I find out this woman, this incredible woman that I had this incredible kiss with is engaged and was using me for, like, extracurricular elevator kisses just so she can get off. I'm like, hard. Hard pass. I don't want to be. I don't want to be molested by an engaged woman.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Would you have stabbed this woman if this was you? Would I have stabbed her if somebody came?

[June Diane Raphael]

So that is the only. You're saying the only way to say no. The only way to effectively say no is to stab her.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, you do carry weapons.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You don't even let me touch you at all.

[Paul Scheer]

Ever.

[June Diane Raphael]

Thank God.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. Ever.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I've never stabbed you. And I've never stabbed you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My point is, is what would you do? Honestly, if you're standing in Alvarez, someone rushed in and just started kissing you.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, first of all, they would never get. They would. I would. If anybody started to come.

[Host/Announcer]

Super.

[June Diane Raphael]

Even if someone came close to me.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, this is even close. This is even very close. For you.

[June Diane Raphael]

This is too close.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like, I would rather not be in this room with all of you. But no, if someone were to come rushing and start trying to kiss me, I would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here? Right, right.

[Paul Scheer]

You would have some sort of reaction.

[June Diane Raphael]

To it for sure, and it would be initially quite negative.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What if they were super hot, though?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Because that's what I'm saying.

[June Diane Raphael]

Perhaps Talia Shire. Currently Talia Shire. Yeah. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, I think. Let's go back to the first one. If it's like a Doris Roberts. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

I want to give you. I've got questions about being inside the Coppola family, about the Rocky movies, the Godfather movies. I would. I would probably take Natalia Shire. That's the thing.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, I think an old person just.

[June Diane Raphael]

To get to the information I'm looking for. If. If I'm being honest, you know, all.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I'm saying is life is for the living.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay? No interest.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. No interest.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It's like, we can't. You know, these things. Things happen. We are. I know there's all of these, like, rules you subscribe to, and that's great. And. But. But you can't deny life and chemistry and sometimes shit happens and you didn't even know. Doesn't make someone a bad person.

[Paul Scheer]

So by your logic, we should just be randomly kissing people in the street because there is no, like, connection with.

[Jessica St. Clair]

If they're your soulmate. Which is exactly what.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, but what you're saying is cheating is okay if the person. If the aggrieved party is a bad person. The Carlton in this case.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, I should.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't.

[June Diane Raphael]

If we liked Carlton, he was a good match for her, but maybe not forever. Then the kiss in the elevator becomes bad, but because Carlton is bad. So in this case, she can never be bad. Unless he is.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, by the way, you don't know this about June, but June is the person who told Schwarzenegger that famous story. Story eating's not cheating.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. So that's that. So that's where she's coming at it from.

[June Diane Raphael]

Totally.

[Paul Scheer]

That's cheating. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

It does sound like a St. Clair line.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Every dream needs a domain. Squarespace Domain makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price. No hidden fees, and add ons required. And with Squarespace's collection of cutting edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Even me. Because what did I do when I needed to start the dinosaur improv website? Well, I got on Squarespace, I looked at some of their award winning website templates and I created something that I would never have been able to conceive without seeing this beautiful template in front of me. It made it fast, it made it easy. And now the drag and drop technology. Everything is clean and clear and you can even make it work for the phone and the computer. What are you waiting for? Head to squarespace.com bonkers for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use Offer Code bonkers to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain. Chime is changing the way people bank. Forget about overdraft fees, minimum balance fees and monthly fees. It's the new way to build credit history with your own money and get rewarded every single day. Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.combonkers that's chime.combonkers Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking Services the secured Chime, Visa credit card and MyPay line of credit provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges between 20 dol and $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com fees info advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+status only. Otherwise 1.00% APY applies. No minimum balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Don't let overpriced phone bills suck the joy out of the holidays this year. Right now, all of Mint Mobile's unlimited plans are 50% off. You can get three, six or 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for 15 bucks a month. Our producer Scott he switched to Mint Mobile and says his service is just as good as his old provider, except it costs him $40 less per month. People. And guess what? Scott used all that extra money to save the building alone from that evil Mr. Potter. Oh man. Man, it's trying to shut it down. Anyway, I guess it is truly a wonderful life after all with Mint Mobile. So turn your expensive wireless present into A huge wireless savings future by switching to Mint shop. Mint unlimited [e-mail] hdtgm that's mintmobile.com hdtgm Limited time offer upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 month plan required. $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only. Over 35 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy.

[Paul Scheer]

Capable device required.

[Host/Announcer]

Availability, speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Can we talk about.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I want to go back. Whether you think she's a bad person or not. Like, listen things again, I'll just be like, just for the living. Okay, So I. I do want to talk about Mrs. Joyner, though, because. And her business.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes, I do have. I do have thoughts on what that is.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yeah. Because here's what we know about her. For the first interaction with Kay where she comes on way too strong while she jumps from her. But then we learn that when he comes by, when Dustin comes by to get that nutcracker, she won't stay open for him. She won't stay open another couple minutes. Which makes me wonder how much business is Mrs. Tiddlywinks getting.

[June Diane Raphael]

Her store appears to be one of those, like, indoor flea market stores, right? Where it's like a series of little cubby holes where different people are selling stuff.

[Paul Scheer]

There's like, one of those, like, Sigmund Freud action figures I saw on a shelf.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And then when she. Before she realizes that Kay has left, she's staring down at the nutcracker and. And says something along the lines of like, yeah, I should get more of those. Or clocks with little figurines around them. And then it is absolutely a woman undone.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There's that cereal.

[Jessica St. Clair]

There's that spying btk.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. The moment where she starts chasing Kayla and why? Why? For no reason. And Kayla. Kayla only randomly is following Dustin. She doesn't know he's there. He does. She doesn't know he has the nutcracker. She's just trying to stay away from Mrs. Joyner.

[Paul Scheer]

And then. And then Dustin does say, oh, running away from Mrs. Joyner as if this is what we know in the town to be true.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, she's probably trying to kiss everybody as well. Yeah, maybe she was. Do we think she was chasing Kayla to French kisser?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, now, that's a whole other story.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, but if she was so hot for business, if she was so into making the sales, then wouldn't she have stayed open for Dustin that I didn't?

[June Diane Raphael]

Again, stars Hollow vibes, though. Like the kooky. I feel like they wanted the kooky weirdos of small town holiday nonsense.

[Paul Scheer]

And this movie does do a lot of those scenes that you don't need where like Dustin's outside of her store and she's like, oh, you're here early. Why don't you come inside? They don't just start to scene, like a scene later.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A lot of walk ups, A lot of walk ups. A lot of walking down long hallways.

[June Diane Raphael]

They just don't have hallway.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They don't have any hallway.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Hall, hallway.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's also like, is Dustin's house his office or his home?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, he's definitely not a kitchen.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's no locking doors. There's no kitchen. It is he. People knock and he's like, come in. It's a business. But it's not.

[Paul Scheer]

Can I also show you the most upsetting thing about it, please? Image 5 here. This is what his house is. And I'll just point out that, you know, an elevator plays a very large part of this movie. Movie. And this shows us that he is on the ground floor. He is on the ground.

[June Diane Raphael]

But also, let's take a look at this. I mean, the weird bunny eared thing that's in the center of the screen here. That's weird.

[Paul Scheer]

It looks like he's in a Creighton barrel.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They rented this loft that was staged and they just said sight unseen, it's everything. We'll take it. It's everything in the room. Don't be.

[June Diane Raphael]

Leave everything.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Leave it. Leave everything.

[Paul Scheer]

Because he is cooking. I mean, he is cooking in this. This kitchen. He just never goes to an industrial kitchen.

[June Diane Raphael]

And what's weird is against the law. He wears his chef's whites when he's here cooking at home. And then he. And then he wears them out in the world.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I've never seen a chef walking about.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, I don't think they're supposed to because they have to be clean and they're getting dirty from the outside world.

[Paul Scheer]

But he also is having only a five minute meetup with his friend. Like, there's so many meetups in this movie where they just go, hey, hey.

[Host/Announcer]

Great to see you.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, I'm gonna leave now. Like, they.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No time passes and we don't learn anything.

[Paul Scheer]

No.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Well, it's so hard because what I couldn't get, I couldn't get my mind around is how Janna. If Jana's best friends with Kayla. Kayla. And they work together at a magazine called. A magazine called Trend. Yeah, Trend.

[Paul Scheer]

Or a Site.

[June Diane Raphael]

A website maybe.

[Jessica St. Clair]

But then also it seems like Jana, who was a solid 10 and I thought she was beautiful, but 10 years older than. But it seems that they maybe went to high school together because she references her being a valedictorian. Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

If this is part of her selling points.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Of course, if. If a valedictorian came up and started kissing you would.

[Paul Scheer]

That Jason's not going to change his opinion on this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's. Here's the thing. I would love it.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Valedictorian. I would love it.

[June Diane Raphael]

If a beautiful class not valedictory. I would love a beautiful valedictorian to start kissing me in an elevator the minute she says by. By the way, BT dubs. Btk, I am engaged. And that was fun.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay, just was asking.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was just doing that to distract from Mrs. Joyner.

[Paul Scheer]

Peace.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm engaged. I would be like, fuck you. I'm out here giving A plus kisses away to engaged ladies.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay, here's. But back to my question. Jana, when I think went to high school with Kay, although I don't know how the numbers work there.

[Paul Scheer]

And then Jenna was a very bad student.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And then. And then Dustin also grew up in this town with his cousin, but they.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don'T know each other.

[Jessica St. Clair]

How do they not know each other?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's interesting.

[June Diane Raphael]

None of them know each other. And. And the. And Kayla could not be more famous.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Knows Dustin, though.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Because he's the cater. And they know each other from town and all that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And Mrs. Joyner knows everybody's in high pursuit of everybod.

[June Diane Raphael]

But it felt like the show wanted the movie. Wanted us to be like, oh my God, she's Kayla. And nobody seems to really know her except Janet and Mrs. Joy.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, they should have made. They should have made Kayla the star.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And he should have been like the director and she's the star. So. Because like, to be the. To be the fiance of a famous person is an odd choice. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did the movie answer where Kayla's family is? No, this is her hometown.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, they all were at this. They were all at the feet. No, they were all at the. The party, though. Their engagement party. And it wouldn't have been his family at the engagement.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, because. Well, he did invite a lot of press.

[Jessica St. Clair]

He said, you know, all that Palo Alto press. All that Palo Alto press to cover entertainment.

[June Diane Raphael]

The pap.

[Paul Scheer]

The paps.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's the. You know, that's the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Did anything feel. This was. This was. And I. I now know it was a Kay jewelers ad. But if you told me.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, My gosh. I'm just realizing something. That Kay's jeweler must have also paid for the bracelet. Yes, the bracelet. That's the colors of Christmas.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's the bracelet.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ugliest I've ever seen in my life.

[Paul Scheer]

What was it missing? The color green, by the way.

[June Diane Raphael]

I couldn't.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It wasn't the colors of Christmas.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It wasn't. It was. What was.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Was red and pink.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Also, he said. Also, he said it's not what you think. I wouldn't be so presumptuous. Aren't they always already engaged?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, well, I guess because they broke it off. But then she. He's coming back. That's the. The mea culpa.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Those matching. Is that a matching earring? That's the grossest thing I've ever seen.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That's a bracelet.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That bracelet makes me want to barf.

[June Diane Raphael]

This looks like a still from, like a jewelry commercial. Right when it's like, he went to the mall and we got a.

[Paul Scheer]

But it also is a terrible presentation.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of it, I would think. Every kiss begins with Kay. By the way, I have a story. I auditioned. I auditioned.

[June Diane Raphael]

Should we leave?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jewelry commercial. I feel like you and I at this point were staying in a friend's trundle bed. Anyway.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Wait, hold on. What was that part of the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jason and I, for a couple months, slept. I had a. I. Did you sleep in the trundle or.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did I. I slept on the floor.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. It was trundle situation. Anyway. Anyway, I went to a commercial audition for Kay's jewelry. Wow. And they made us kiss. Or the guy did kiss me and it was so shocking. The audition was like, now you were in that situation. Every kiss begins with.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now wouldn't have. It wouldn't have happened these days.

[Jessica St. Clair]

No, it shouldn't have happened. Then we did have a union at that point.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They were cool with it, right, Cassie? Director was like, wonderful.

[Jessica St. Clair]

This guy just rolled with it and was like, I'm going in.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think so. But it was encouraged. And I didn't like.

[Host/Announcer]

Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

I didn't like it that someone just shockingly started kissing you in a scenario that you didn't think was going to be kissing. Was the audition.

[Paul Scheer]

Has anyone ever. Has anyone ever done that?

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm just. I just want to know, was the audition.

[Paul Scheer]

You got mad at me last night?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I actually don't like being pointed at so close. I don't like it from across the room and I don't point it there.

[June Diane Raphael]

We should not be this close to each Other.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's too close. I just keep. I just get. Da da da da, yada da da.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Here's my question. That presentation was so horrible. And I would imagine if Kay is putting in. You think k put in 100 grand.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But it 50 grand until the last minute.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't know roughly the budgets of these movies. These run around. This is one to two million dollars.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

That's the average.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So you're okay. And you know, you put in 100 grand. Maybe, maybe 200 grand. Why don't you have a representative on set who's there for the commercial shop?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not a case bracelet.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But it should have been.

[Paul Scheer]

That's right.

[June Diane Raphael]

Branded box as opposed to.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. They wouldn't probably case Julia wouldn't want to give. That's the one at the end.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's where.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That's. Every kiss begins with K. Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you're gonna sing with K, it's always Every kiss begins with. You know, like. That's right.

[June Diane Raphael]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's a trigger for me.

[June Diane Raphael]

What does it say on the. On the bottom? What does it say in front of the ring?

[Paul Scheer]

The.

[June Diane Raphael]

The Leo diamond?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It says.

[June Diane Raphael]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, Leo.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, the chat will tell us. Molly, what's going on with the chat? Anything.

[Paul Scheer]

Check in with Molly.

[Host/Announcer]

Molly cam.

[Paul Scheer]

What do we got on the Molly cam?

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

Hey, everybody, sorry to back up a little bit, but a lot of people are pointing out that the beautiful bracelet that's the color of Christmas is actually the color of the Les bag.

[Paul Scheer]

All right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I'm great to know.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Is Carlton a lesbian? Honestly, if Carlton's a lesbian, that makes all the sense in the world.

[June Diane Raphael]

I would love that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Is his name Carlton?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'd love to see Carlton at the end of the movie get into a Subaru with another woman.

[Jessica St. Clair]

What? Everything would kind of come.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, Carlton is having. He seems to be having an affair now. Once she starts her affair, he starts to have an affair with the sugar.

[Paul Scheer]

I didn't like that one woman because I felt like she was moving in.

[June Diane Raphael]

Our girls already cheated on him.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, but she seemed a little like. Whatever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They were broken up.

[Paul Scheer]

Dark haired girls, don't trust them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hot take.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God. Hot takes are incredible. Dark hair, girls getting unwarranted kisses.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, they're trustworthy.

[Jessica St. Clair]

No, that's dead to dye. My hair bump.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Little Mermaid. Dark hair. She's the one.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I don't know if there's any footage of that woman during the dance numbers, but these dancers are terrible. But some of them were at least actual dancers. I'm not saying they were good, but they were dancers. And then there was our brunette.

[Paul Scheer]

Right.

[Jessica St. Clair]

The dark haired villain who was truly like the most hilarious part is she wasn't. She was looking around, sort of doing a lot of this. Doing a lot of just like little jumps.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Little.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like this.

[Paul Scheer]

This.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Little jumps. Little jumps. Looking, looking. Then her role in this is to complain about all the dancers.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, right.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She and I had an eagle eye on her. She is not a dancer because she had an acting role.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, I mean when you see the sets and the props all in there, then it really. Then she really pops down version.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She should be the star.

[Paul Scheer]

There is little old though, right? To. I mean. And then.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Careful, careful now you can't.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

For dark haired girls.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I agree with Paul. She was grossly old, first of all. And I thought I felt uncomfortable about it because like between her and Doris Roberts, I was like, every woman in this is elderly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

So I've never seen a Nutcracker and I just assumed that the Sugar Plum Fairy is a little girl who gets old.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, no.

[Paul Scheer]

Who's that girl?

[Jessica St. Clair]

That's. I don't remember her name. That's Clara, but. Clara.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Why isn't she at very special. Why isn't she at rehearsal?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She's like the queen of. Of you know.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The other world.

[Paul Scheer]

Angelica Houston. Like that kind of a thing.

[Jessica St. Clair]

What she's not.

[June Diane Raphael]

Imagine that's a dangerous brunette right there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nutcracker. Paul, I guess you were.

[Jessica St. Clair]

First of all.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is birds.

[Jessica St. Clair]

This is making me like Carlton a lot more because he was just trying to cast the roles the way he saw them. He's not interested in it. This is a very pared down version of the Nutcracker.

[Paul Scheer]

This is like when I saw Patty LuPone do Sweeney Todd and there's only two people.

[June Diane Raphael]

I just want to make sure just to. Not to swing you back. Back out of Carlton's favor. But he does say at a certain point, I'm the draw.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's not about the dance. It's not about the dancers. It's about him. This is an ego's battlefield.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But also Carlton's abusive to the dancers. He throws his script off the. You know, and in this day and age.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It's not this day and age, is it?

[June Diane Raphael]

It's 2017.

[Paul Scheer]

In the movie 2015.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Different time. A different time.

[Jessica St. Clair]

When the movie started and. And we were about 15 minutes in, I thought for sure that Dustin was a pastry chef.

[June Diane Raphael]

Same. And dad after referring to him as the baker.

[Jessica St. Clair]

The baker he only bakes.

[Paul Scheer]

We only see him baking, and then he's baking more stuff. And I thought for a long time he was making food for dogs. Yeah, but it was to raise money for the dogs.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Me, too. I thought they were making dog cookies.

[Host/Announcer]

You know, life can get busy for all of us, so it's important for us to pause every now and then and ask yourself a very important question. Have you had your Hershey's? You know what I'm talking about. That delicious, classic, creamy texture, that pure milk chocolate flavor that only comes with Hershey's milk chocolate. It brightens up your day. It puts a smile on your face. And whether you're eating it on the go, breaking off a few pieces for s' mores night, or just treating yourself to something sweet while you kick back and stream your favorite shows, Hershey's milk chocolate checks all the boxes. I mean, now with kids, I find any reason to go and make it a s' mores night.

[Paul Scheer]

A, because it's fun, and B, I.

[Host/Announcer]

Get a little bit of my Hershey's milk chocolate. You know, I love a Hershey's milk chocolate bar right in my cupboard, so when the kids are asleep and everyone's in bed, I can have the perfect nightcap. Shop for Hershey's milk chocolate now at a store near you. Found. Wherever candy is sold on ebay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee, the one you wore everywhere.

[Paul Scheer]

Until you lost it.

[Host/Announcer]

Now you're on ebay. And there it is. The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. Especially on ebay. From rare collectibles and vintage cars to designer fashion, it's all there. Shop ebay for millions of finds, each with a story. Ebay. Things people love. You know, one in five Americans have learn a new language on their bucket list. If that's you make 2025, the year you finally check it off with babbel, the language app that makes grammar fun and actually worth your time. I am in day 130 of working on Babbel.

[June Diane Raphael]

I love it.

[Host/Announcer]

Why? Because I can practice real life conversation step by step without the stress. I build confidence to speak when it matters. From ordering a coffee to chatting with new friends abroad, I have found my learning on Babbel to be so much, much fun. You are learning tons of words, but they're coming so naturally. Babbel has been truly a game changer, something that I've always put off. And now I am a firm believer in here's a special limited time deal.

[Paul Scheer]

For our listeners right now.

[Host/Announcer]

Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at babel.com bonkers get up to 55% off at babel.com bonkers spelled B A B B E L.com bonkers rules and restrictions may apply.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yes, I really want to go over the number of events that we are working toward in this movie that. That are on the docket, none of.

[June Diane Raphael]

Which are important whatsoever.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So there is the engagement party, which at a certain point, there's no engagement. So that sort of turns into just like party party with lots of.

[June Diane Raphael]

Which is doubling. Is doubling as Carlton's like a premier party. He's invited. Press. He's invited. He's.

[Paul Scheer]

So the show is open.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think it's about to.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, got it.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think this is in service of that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So there's that. And also, I do want to address the fact that at one point he says we have to keep our engagement because it will help the opening of the show.

[Brant Daugherty]

Right.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Draw that line.

[June Diane Raphael]

What's even crazier at a certain point is that she says we're holding off on our wedding and until after the. After Christmas, because it's the. He has. He's so busy with the show.

[Paul Scheer]

Show.

[June Diane Raphael]

But that means they haven't. They're gonna only start planning their wedding right after this show. So they're like a year away from.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Getting time to make out with a lot of other guys and see if we even want to do that.

[June Diane Raphael]

See if you can beat this.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So then there's also a fundraiser for the animal shelter. But at one point, Paul, you said it's not for the shelters, for the people who work there.

[Paul Scheer]

No, I mean, you thought it was for the dogs.

[June Diane Raphael]

Dogs.

[Paul Scheer]

And I was saying it's for the. It's for the organization.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It's for the organization. Ultimately, it's for the dogs, though. I hope that money's.

[June Diane Raphael]

What about the people who were there?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was a very nice.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That fundraiser is for the dog shelter. However they want to break.

[June Diane Raphael]

But to be fair to June, I agree. I would love to get a look at those books. I'd love to get a look at the books for this. For this shelter, because I don't trust these guys.

[Paul Scheer]

He didn't seem to make that many cookies that would actually bring in a lot of dogs.

[June Diane Raphael]

And only Josh was working there.

[Jessica St. Clair]

They're always barking. There's another event. There's some sort of community event that they are going to that she. She has made flyers.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. What did the postcard.

[Jessica St. Clair]

The dog event to give out at some community event then correct me if I'm wrong, Chat. I believe there's also something that she calls a tree event.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Which is sort of the Christmas market she goes to.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think that might be the community event where it. But it might also be be part of the fundraiser for the dogs. There's also in a montage a carnival.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yes, that's right.

[June Diane Raphael]

They also go to a full carnival.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think that's the pier.

[Paul Scheer]

And that's after she just said she had the most. The best time of her life researching the maker of the nutcracker. Yes, we have that image Molly story.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, The Nutcracker.

[Jessica St. Clair]

The 80 year old man who ran the nutcracker.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, like what nutcracker comes with like, like a booklet. Well, I didn't know that nutcrackers were so specific. Like to the maker. It's like, it's like you're getting a Geppetto made.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's as if this man invented the concept of a nutcracker that I want.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To read a book about.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wouldn't that be great? But no, this is just a store bought nutcracker that they're pawning off as some like great artisan. Oh, they also did a thing in this scene where they're texting where each of them says aloud the text that is then shown word for word on screen.

[Paul Scheer]

Sometimes it's different because he said seriously, that's great. And then when she got it, just said seriously. No, dot, dot, dot. That's great.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, funny.

[Paul Scheer]

But now this is what she said. She says researching Vance has been two of the most fulfilling hours I've had in a long life.

[June Diane Raphael]

Her life is dog. She was a valedictorian of her class and she is now. She's terrible.

[Paul Scheer]

Wikipedia ing has been the most fulfilling time.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So he's so down on her. He's like, you write that article yet tonight? Like he's so everybody, everybody wants for her to get laid. They want to get her laid. That's everybody's. Everybody in the town.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

With the exception of Mrs. Joyner who wants to make that sale. Everybody is like, let's get her coupled up. I don't know what.

[Paul Scheer]

Because she's wasting time. She's a bad business manager. She's out making postcards, parts.

[June Diane Raphael]

She's engaged at work.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But no one liked her. The cousin her body be banging. No one cares about her.

[June Diane Raphael]

Joshua does.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They throw her to deep side part like. And we never see them, you know what I mean? I thought that was very sinister. He's like, want to come to pizza? I'm like, that's the last we're gonna see of that cousin.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, you think Joshua's a BTK style murderer? You think we never see Kim again because she's bound to tortured and killed.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I personally really like liked the fact that Dustin was on her ass about doing her work.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But here's the deal.

[June Diane Raphael]

I like that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I've never seen that in a movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

On her plate right now. She's. She's.

[June Diane Raphael]

What is.

[Paul Scheer]

She has nothing.

[June Diane Raphael]

She has nothing on her plate.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Separated.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She's like.

[Paul Scheer]

She's paraphrasing a note card into an article for Tempo magazine or whatever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hot take. Here's a hot take you guys are not going to see. Coming.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh boy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Single unsink.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She has agreed to be Carlton's business manager. So honestly, all of the duties that she's pissed about doing.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, that's her job. This is what I've been saying.

[Jessica St. Clair]

You're saying, do you think she's getting paid for that? If I don't see a direct deposit, if I don't see cash in my hands or in the bank, that's not a job.

[June Diane Raphael]

So you think she's working for free?

[Jessica St. Clair]

I do.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I do. Not paying her, but then don't agree to it. If you agree, yes, I will do this for you. And then you disappear for three days. If I'm not being paid to get to go to.

[Jessica St. Clair]

To be an indentured service.

[June Diane Raphael]

He's relying on her to get the show up on its feet. And he's got to focus. Fucking.

[Paul Scheer]

And look.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Look at this.

[Paul Scheer]

Look at this. Even though they've broken up, he's got requests. Please pick up my favorite socks. Where are you? How come you're not answering your phone? I have a headache. I need some medicine.

[June Diane Raphael]

Guys, can I ask you a very, very, very honest question? Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Really?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You do?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yep.

[Paul Scheer]

I wore these today.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, those are good socks.

[Host/Announcer]

Christmas.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I do. I have a couple now of the same pair.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I treat my which ones like shit.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't think of my socks in any way. I don't have any of them as no. In any way.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I say something and this is very vulnerable right now. Okay, Okay. I actually have. I've been on a mission just this year to upgrade my sock situation. Love this because I know it's something I've never paid attention to in my whole life.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And you'd like to turn your attention to it.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I always like they were haphazard. And then what I would do, and this is actually very vulnerable is because I didn't care about them. I never got new ones.

[June Diane Raphael]

I totally understand that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

So this year is the first year where I'm like, I deserve. I want.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You had to go to a single for that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I did. Because it's been a very empowering thing for me to. To. To say and to feel that I deserve good socks.

[Paul Scheer]

I love your bombas. Is the brand to go.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait a minute. What is this?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, J.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why are you guys saying bombas?

[Paul Scheer]

And you know what? Every time you buy a pair of socks, they give some money to charity.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It's not okay. I do have a pair of athletic.

[Paul Scheer]

Socks that I like. That I like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I have.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's the thing. I similarly, a bunch of years ago, just bought all new socks that were good. Like, good socks, but I don't have a fa. Like, that's my favorite pair. I just. I'm like, socks foot. Right. Go.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know, but I don't have shitty. I agree. I have good socks.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yeah. I would expect you to have bought.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All of the same. I did put them all in a drawer. You don't have to pair them.

[June Diane Raphael]

Correct.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Those are just so you.

[Paul Scheer]

But you have. But like, so you have a favorite socks. But he has favorite socks. But out of those socks, he's not saying, but this is my favorite. No.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

They're all the same.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, we don't have a favorite of these.

[June Diane Raphael]

Correct.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Well, I think what you guys aren't maybe into is. And I will say Paul got me into this. I would see that he had. He liked a playful sock.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, that's Paul.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I know.

[Paul Scheer]

I used to.

[Host/Announcer]

But then I was.

[Jessica St. Clair]

But then I. I sort of got him away from that and said, like, well, you're not going to show our personalities through our socks.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. She yelled at me about that. She yelled at me about that. And then I stopped the playful sock.

[Host/Announcer]

Oh, wow.

[Paul Scheer]

This is a. This is a very special one.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Allow it. I'll allow it.

[Paul Scheer]

Only for today.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Interesting. Is. I don't know if you've noticed this, but I've.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now you're taking on a playful side.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like that happy sock brand. I'm like, I like those.

[Paul Scheer]

You just go.

[June Diane Raphael]

Live stream. Underwritten by socks.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know, here's a cautionary tale. Matt Lauer. When I met. When I met him, we used to go on.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, remember? We used to go on.

[Paul Scheer]

Of course I do.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He never wears socks. E loafer without socks.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That's disgusting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That serial killer you know what?

[Host/Announcer]

My barber.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Disgusting.

[Paul Scheer]

My barber Rudy told me he. I was wearing my fail. I was wearing. I was wearing my socks up. And he's like, that's. That's good. He's like that.

[June Diane Raphael]

It.

[Paul Scheer]

Like that.

[Host/Announcer]

You wear.

[Paul Scheer]

You. You pull your socks.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you don't, you got to be eyes out for those men who are going socks into a loafer.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was such a look for a while. Right around this time, actually. Like the late teens. The, like, slightly high.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I think that's a great look.

[June Diane Raphael]

And a bare ankle.

[Paul Scheer]

You like that look?

[Jessica St. Clair]

I do.

[June Diane Raphael]

With a no show.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Don't point at me. I do like that. I do like that look. But that's with a no show sock, correct? Yeah, of course.

[Paul Scheer]

I think what we're realizing, though, is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We'Re all touching tonight.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why does it burn when you touch it?

[Paul Scheer]

I think what we're realizing is socks are your half. And there's a lot of happy in this movie. Can we play the montage of happy? Yeah. This is something that. I thought they were trying to make a thing, but it wasn't.

[Jessica St. Clair]

This is. That was really. That turned my stomach.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I kept waiting for there to be a threesome with the cousins and her.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Because look at this. Look at these cookies.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They look so happy.

[Paul Scheer]

They were made with happy.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Well, the real, real happy is coming up. So what's the happy?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This could be the beginning of a softcore porn, could it not? We're throwing dough at each other. Oh, I gotta take this thing out.

[Jessica St. Clair]

This is the happy I was talking about.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is seriously happy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's my movie pitch. My movie pitch is, wouldn't it have been so much better if Kayla and Kim. Kim. What's the cousin's name? If they ended up together because she and he have so little chemistry. Oh, wow, that's a. That is a deep side part. I was like, oh, like, Kim is more interesting to me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Kim is great.

[June Diane Raphael]

Than Kim is great.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I really. I know you felt this way too, Paul, so I don't want you to just. I know because I know you felt this way too. I thought they had great chemistry. I love them together.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, now, if I was to disagree with you, I would have been lying the first two times that you made me agree that I did feel this.

[June Diane Raphael]

You made me emotionally abusive relationship.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like Carl.

[Paul Scheer]

They had a great relationship and they were really good. Why are you really good?

[June Diane Raphael]

Why are you in California SOS In Morse coast?

[Paul Scheer]

And it's okay if anyone kisses anyone in the elevator.

[June Diane Raphael]

Come on.

[Host/Announcer]

Fine.

[Paul Scheer]

Don't point.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't point.

[June Diane Raphael]

But if June wants to chase someone down the street and kiss them in a magical elevator, as long as there's mistletoe, I'm okay with it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Guys, did anybody say at any point in this movie that the elevator was magic?

[Host/Announcer]

No.

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes. Doris Roberts. Doris Roberts said, as you know, they say not that it's magic, but that they. They. They tell stories about this elevator. This elevator has a story to it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think it was meant to be a magic.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think it's soft magic. I think it's soft magic.

[Paul Scheer]

I actually thought magic.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's what I tell the ladies. You're about to. You're about to see the soft magic.

[Paul Scheer]

Merry Christmas.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Close your eyes.

[June Diane Raphael]

The hard magic, ladies.

[Paul Scheer]

Merry Christmas. Happy blow year. May you have some hard magic in your future.

[June Diane Raphael]

Now, isn't that what they call that stuff you put on ice cream?

[Paul Scheer]

I will say this. I want to. I want to talk. I want to talk for a second about the elevator in general. And I think that maybe the best person to hear it from is one of the stars of the film.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, no.

[Host/Announcer]

Grant Daugherty.

[Paul Scheer]

We were able to get him on the show. So this is Brandt.

[Brant Daugherty]

Hey, jerks. What's the.

[Paul Scheer]

Up.

[Brant Daugherty]

Brent Doherty here. You probably recognize me better as the star of Merry Christmas. And Paul wanted me to share some anecdotes. Ask me what kissing Doris Roberts was like. Is it weird that there's mistletoe in an elevator? All amazing questions, none of which address the point. This movie was written by an insane person. I looked up her resume, and it turns out she's written exclusively holiday films where the leads kiss in an elevator. And I'm like, what the fuck happen to you in an elevator? Anyway, the movie was directed by a man who couldn't give half a.

[Host/Announcer]

What happened?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Oh, wow, he's really free.

[Brant Daugherty]

What are we doing here? And he looked up from his phone and went, I don't know. Doris Roberts. She leans into me and she goes, brand, I'm gonna try something. And I was like, say less. You may have my body. And so unscripted, she pulls me and kisses me, slips me the fucking tongue, and then slaps me and walks away. Anyway, the movie makes no sense on a cellular level from moment to moment. The fact that you've watched it and can highlight that I am supposed to be in an elevator, but I live on the first floor. Like, I can't tell you how much I fucking love and respect you guys, because this is exactly the kind of critical minds we need watching this film. We need people who can understand the madness. And I feel like you see it.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I love him.

[Paul Scheer]

I love you guys.

[Brant Daugherty]

That was, like, the longest cameo of my life because you hit on a very niche subject for me, so I'm obsessed with him, possibly including Paul. I love you guys. You have an amazing, amazing Christmas. Please look up the writer of this movie and let me know. Has she branched out at all from people making out in elevators? Because I hope not.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, thank you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And so now I'm gonna say, only gotten better looking.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Well, now what did I say?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's only gotten better.

[Jessica St. Clair]

He's a star. We broke Oscar Isaacs on this podcast, and I. He's the same way about Brent.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm going to stimulate the rest of my career to making that guy a star.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, Passing him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'll visit June and I.

[June Diane Raphael]

So now do you understand why she.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Called Lives to Be Lived in which we just make out with him for, like, four or five hours?

[Paul Scheer]

Let me just say that Brandt was also in Fifty Shades Free as Sawyer. He's the bodyguard that Christian hires for Dakota Johnson. I do want to bring up one thing that Brandt said, which was that Doris Roberts improvised the kiss.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, I think she improvised in one take. The tongue and the slap.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, got it.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like the Kay jewelers guy, similarly. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. Got it. Cause I was gonna say that's a major.

[June Diane Raphael]

I thought that at first, too, but.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Doris Robbins for sure needed to just update her sag, and she. I have been in some interesting movies with. With older, more well established actors who clearly don't need the money, who just say, you know what? Let me just do my hours, right? Come in, come out, and then we're done.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, got it. All right, so she's. She's clocking hours 100%.

[Host/Announcer]

Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow. What if I told you, though, she was getting paid in gift certificates to Kay jewelers?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Oh, my God, you guys.

[Paul Scheer]

My God.

[June Diane Raphael]

This was. That was. These two things both rocked.

[Paul Scheer]

I know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm really.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I have a note that just says, I like him.

[June Diane Raphael]

It makes me want to elevator writer movies.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, by the way, I will say this, that Brandt also wrote the first parody Christmas movie for the Hallmark Channel. Oh, cool. Yeah. 2019 called the Christmas Christmas Movie.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Because I also. I feel like we haven't spent enough time on Kayla. I really liked Kayla.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Yeah. We have nowhere to go.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Only complaint I had about her. Her is she didn't turn off her phone notifications.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, well, this is an issue.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I do have this issue. I think that if you don't know to turn your notifications off when you're with a group of people.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You are manager.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't care that she should be handling care.

[Jessica St. Clair]

You can still get those notifications and have your phone on silent.

[June Diane Raphael]

But this is 2015 when people.

[Paul Scheer]

They didn't have that option. They didn't have that option there.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I found that to be insane to go on a romantic date date with a prospect. A post engagement prospect.

[Paul Scheer]

Dates. Prospects.

[June Diane Raphael]

A post engagement prospect.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Wow.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Your notifications on well, also crazy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Brand is so sweet. He's always like, you should take that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And that's why.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's your.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And I love that we're just calling him Brandt now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But that's.

[Host/Announcer]

I love Brand.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love Brandt.

[June Diane Raphael]

When she describes to him that her relationship is over. And she says, I'll describe it in Twitter size 140 characters or less. And I was like, what? What? What? What is this?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Seriously? Why does she go back to Carlton for no people. Why?

[June Diane Raphael]

People make decisions in this movie for no reason other than plot.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is why. He says, and this is why I think probably her parents are dead at a very young age or something. And she's looking for love. And. But he says. He says that. That you're more important to me than worse. And that's what she's been waiting to hear, is that she's important.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. Because he. She's like kind of threatening him like, I'll break up with you. And then he was. Then he said, but I love you. And then she was like, now you're confusing me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. But the final thing that makes her come back is she said. He says, you're more. He said, you should get back to the ballet. And he says, you're more important to me than work. That's how bad her self worth is.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Well, because if I were her, I would look at Brand and say, okay. He also really cares about his work. He wants to open up a restaurant.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

But I don't think he's gonna be opening up a restaurant anytime soon. Really Jumping in from like baking cake.

[June Diane Raphael]

We saw him make zero food beyond cookies that look not good.

[Paul Scheer]

He bought a nutcracker.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He doesn't look like what I would make.

[Paul Scheer]

Most of his cooking was buying a nutcracker. Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

And when they're doing. When they go into the day and they're gonna do the. He's wearing the suit and this is where he realizes that they are en filled. He. He is standing in front of a table that you would think would have examples of all the Food he's gonna serve. But it's a roll of bubble wrap. A big brown. Just box full of stuff. Like it looks like just random supplies.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like, haven't you seen Top Chef? They spend a lot of time just like writing notes.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, Wait.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Ideating, thinking about things.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I thought it would be interesting checking out different dogs.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like they have to kind of get out in the world before they want. Create something. They have to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To.

[Jessica St. Clair]

But here's the thing. If I'm her and I am nervous that. That this guy, my fiance, won't commit, he's not going to nail down a date. He's obsessed with his work. And then I see Brand and we have that amazing kiss. And he's also. He's a guy who wants something out of life. He's a go getter. He wants. He's an entrepreneur. Great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Loves dogs.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Then I see that he's willing to adopt a dog. Oh, yeah, marry that man, man.

[June Diane Raphael]

But she still goes back to Carlton.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's what I herself isn't good.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's why, though we don't ever understand why she's making such terrible decisions. Because I want to. Jana seems to want to shake her and say like, cut it out.

[Jessica St. Clair]

But Jana needs to get a life for Jana.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jana needs to get.

[Jessica St. Clair]

When life. When Jana.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, yeah, because what Kayla is like, how come you're not dating him?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Exactly.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why isn't Jana.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think Jana is honestly as a single white female thing to Kayla, because why is she. She's so obsessed with Kayla's life. Focus on yourself and get out there.

[Paul Scheer]

I just want to bring up one thing because as I'm hearing all this conversation, we're watching Kayla do the same mistake twice. She's with a man who's obsessed with his work. And then this guy, also obsessed with his work. He wants to open up a restaurant. That's no easy task.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, that's why he says hire her when she makes those. I'm going to be honest, terrible postcards for him.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, they are bad.

[June Diane Raphael]

He says, hey, don't do this.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Postcards isn't her dream.

[Paul Scheer]

She's designing a website.

[June Diane Raphael]

Is apparently her job is getting the other guy's favorite favorite socks. Yeah, she's just doing the exact same nonsense Googling. So he's like, hey, don't do this for me. Do something for you. You know, do something for you. And. And that's when she is like. And her. The second wish of the movie is I wish I knew how to set boundaries. And I'm like, oh, is that what this whole movie. What the Is this movie now?

[Jessica St. Clair]

But I guess just understood the movie.

[Host/Announcer]

All right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What?

[Jessica St. Clair]

This is a movie about a woman with writer's block.

[Host/Announcer]

Oh, okay.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She is doing everything she can. She's being a businessman. Unpaid business manager slash.

[Paul Scheer]

We don't know about the unpaid thing. Let's not make comments about that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

He is not paying her. No. There's no way. She's doing every. Even when she's in the right relationship. Because he's forcing her to write. Right. She gets out of it. She just doesn't want to see that little cursor blinking.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I get that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And I do understand that. I do understand.

[June Diane Raphael]

At the end of this movie, she should have written the thing. I think.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I think she's about to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She. She is about.

[Paul Scheer]

It's a year later.

[June Diane Raphael]

Too late, Kayla.

[Paul Scheer]

It's a year later. He has moved to la. He has not opened a restaurant. They're on a Ferris wheel. Yeah, they're on the Santa Monica Pier.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know if that was meant.

[June Diane Raphael]

To be or is it a Palo Alto pier? That's what.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I wasn't on the coast.

[June Diane Raphael]

I couldn't. I had. I looked it up. There is coastline in Palo Alto. Because I was like. Because in the middle of that montage, what's weird is they're.

[Paul Scheer]

They're under a fridge.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yes. They are multiple times at the carnival doing stuff that is peer based. But they start. They start their date montage and they're wear. He's wearing the buffalo sweater, the bison sweater, the big shaggy white sweater.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I thought he looked great in that sweater.

[June Diane Raphael]

Great sweater. He ends the montage in that sweater.

[Jessica St. Clair]

That's correct.

[June Diane Raphael]

In the midst of the montage, they each are wearing 10 other outfits.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, that's what I mean. Like, they covered a lot of gray.

[June Diane Raphael]

The montage suggests that days have passed, but they end exactly where they started.

[Paul Scheer]

Same outfit.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because I think in a weird way, they probably shot, you know, so they were like, we don't have time for this change. No, nobody. If. If Brandt is telling us that the director went, you know, and back to his phone. Nobody's tracking outfits. I feel like Brandt probably and the. The lovely actors who played Kayla, they were. Had to direct themselves, by the way.

[Paul Scheer]

Here you go. One year later, same outfit.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's what I want to say, and this is important for me. There is entirely too much face grabbing during all kissing in this movie. Movie. Every kiss is full of. It must be direction because Carlton doesn't. Everybody is doing so much face. Like big face grabbing Touching, chin grabbing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If someone ever touches my chin like this, I'm gonna break their fucking dick off.

[June Diane Raphael]

If I ever went to grab a girl by the chin like this, like you little cute. I would expect to be stabbed even if she. I would understand it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, you would go this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Get out of here.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I would slowly put it slow. Put a diagonal.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like a slow. While making full eye contact. Yes, exactly. Just a tiny stiletto blade that you've got. It's real. There's so much big grabbing of faces that I was like, don't, don't get grabby with the head.

[Paul Scheer]

But I feel like you need. I think that that's a movie thing. Like you need to like be pulling someone because it's weird to be like, it's.

[Jessica St. Clair]

If you don't grab when you're doing an on screen camera piss. I think it feels like it's just too much space to cover.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love to know how many real life face grabs are going on.

[Jessica St. Clair]

You know, I think very few.

[June Diane Raphael]

So, so few.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You think so?

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't, I don't think you need.

[Jessica St. Clair]

To because you know what's happening.

[June Diane Raphael]

You don't need a guideline to be.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like, okay, yeah, it's like a, you know, an airplane.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's like I want to. I gotta put my hand on your head so that I know where to put my. So that my lips have a direction to. It's wherever my hand is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I. But I feel like when someone's got you by here, it's so quick that you could go snap.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I don't like two hands.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like the BTK carries. There's two hands.

[June Diane Raphael]

They're doing two hand kisses. They're making sure she doesn't get away. Doris Roberts is head grabbing. He's head grabbing. Carlton's head grabbing. It's head grab city in this movie.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, I mean, you have to because you're not sure. Like, a lot of these kisses are stolen valor kisses.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, they're not. There's no consent. This is not a movie about trying.

[Paul Scheer]

To keep people together.

[June Diane Raphael]

So few people in this movie are receiving kisses that they wanted. There's a lot of kissing in this movie, but many of the kisses are unprompted and surprising to one of the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think that's part of her kink.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Honestly. Kayla.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, the.

[June Diane Raphael]

Doris Roberts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The writer.

[Paul Scheer]

Think of the writer. Yes, I agree.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Our boy Dustin in one day is. No, two days. Back to back days. First he gets on an elevator. End Doris Roberts molested. Second day, Kayla molests him. That I would take. And he says, why didn't I take the stairs?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Well, he's out again.

[June Diane Raphael]

He lives on the 1st.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I will say, and why did I take the elevator?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I will say that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why didn't I just jump out my window?

[Paul Scheer]

Some of the face touching, I think is maybe tied to the thematic song. I'll read you some lyrics here. It says, chasing clouds as they go by Trying to find the reason why you elevate my love. I can't wait to get across the Frisco bay. Say by your touch. Captivated. You're too much.

[Jessica St. Clair]

What is this?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Lyrics of the. Which I believe someone's family member must have.

[Paul Scheer]

It was. It was. It was the. The person who come. The scored the film. Yeah, okay.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

But, yeah, it was. Yeah, it's Elevate My Love by Brandon Jarrett, the composer of the film.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Elevate My love.

[June Diane Raphael]

When they do their montage of falling in love. Right. Do you think they.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I should hope so.

[Paul Scheer]

No, they're never.

[June Diane Raphael]

They. You don't think they.

[Paul Scheer]

No, she's not. She's a good girl.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, first of all, where's she sleeping? On the street?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, she's sleeping on that sofa in that hotel room.

[Host/Announcer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

That was weird. That was weird. It also felt like, because it's the. That cut is weird because she starts typing.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then it's her waking up and he's typing on the same computer.

[Paul Scheer]

I thought he was stealing her idea.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I thought.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was like, wait a minute. Has she never. Has she never been typing? Like, is this his story? Is he. Is this his story?

[Paul Scheer]

It's like a John Candy delirious movie.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I thought for sure he was stealing the idea and he was going to run off with this nutcracker and it was going to be his next big hit.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, cool.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Although that's a great idea for a.

[Paul Scheer]

Sequel, by the way. I will say this. I think the reason why she had to stay in the hotel room is because it was full of cosplayers because there's a convention in town. If you look at scene one, really, Scene one, when they first check into the hotel, this is just that image.

[June Diane Raphael]

One of the things that's true throughout the movie is they own nothing. They have not gotten clearance for any. They are shooting in the real world.

[Paul Scheer]

In a movie with no extras, cosplayers are out.

[June Diane Raphael]

It feels like oftentimes they are just existing in the world. Like the. They're.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They have found footage.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like, I believe the. The tchotchke store is. I don't think they no set decorated that at all. I think they found a store full.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Of nonsense, put it nutcracker and wrote it in.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I also think possibly the guy who plays the guy who plays the doorman has so much holy cow.

[June Diane Raphael]

The bellhop.

[Paul Scheer]

And he has also no magic. Combine all these no magic I would.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Say is that someone's dad.

[June Diane Raphael]

He's dressed like a 1930s bellhop for.

[Paul Scheer]

No reason and he's working the side door. He's not working a front door only guy. Nighttime, daytime.

[Jessica St. Clair]

There's also these lingering close ups of him. Like after they say that we're not getting married to. They cut to him and he's like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Huh, hair, hair pouring out of his weird hat.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Like what's happening with him? Is he.

[June Diane Raphael]

I couldn't make heads or tails out of that guy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's going on?

[Paul Scheer]

I thought maybe he would be the Santa Claus. Like wouldn't it be fun?

[June Diane Raphael]

He kept going back to that Santa. When she says because this is. We talked about it a little bit, but the movie keeps giving us setups for magic. But then the wishes, the wishes. He does three wishes with that Santa. None of which when she says I want that girl to have all of her dreams come true. I was like, okay, we're gonna see that girl's dreams come true. Doesn't happen when she does it though.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Cuz there was a moment where I thought that that girl on the bench was the dark haired girl. That Sugar Plum fairy. Oh, the Sugar Houston Plum Fairy, I think.

[June Diane Raphael]

I hope it is though.

[Paul Scheer]

She got like popped into the.

[June Diane Raphael]

So that if that's the case then then yes, I hope that's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Then it's not.

[June Diane Raphael]

I want to it to be.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know because that would be. Is not always what happens.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, well. And I will say that the last Santa time he's like, well, you'll figure it out. Like he gives.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I wrote F you Santa. If you are going to come in and interrupt me looking over a bridge and then you have no advice but to say you'll figure.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, how about the fact that she has twice wished with Santa and then this third time she wishes in a fountain with Santa there next to her.

[Jessica St. Clair]

You know what I thought I said to Paul?

[June Diane Raphael]

It's too much. Too many wishes.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Too many wishes. I said to Paul. Oh my gosh. She threw the bracelet away.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, that had been great.

[Paul Scheer]

Would have been great.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Thought she had.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I know I feel like there's.

[Paul Scheer]

A checklist for like all these like movies and this writer just took all of them. Instead of just like. Yeah, like, you take four and then write around the four. But she's like, I'll do the wishes, I'll do the Santa, I'll do the dogs, I'll do the cooking.

[June Diane Raphael]

But all of them only halfway.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

All of them only halfway. None of the. None of these component pieces are enough. Like, the wishes needed to actually come true. I agree. The cooking needed to be seen and tasted and eaten.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, it makes me realize that all of the Hallmark movies we've seen with Melissa Joan Hart.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, she's got.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are really well done.

[June Diane Raphael]

We've seen the best.

[Paul Scheer]

Molly. I want to go to the crowd. I want to see what people are saying in the chat. Any comments that are happening, anything that we could add to. I forgot that this. We've been going so far.

[June Diane Raphael]

If we misunderstood anything, are they correcting us?

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

Absolutely. Well, and I wanted to point out. And people are obsessed with this bellhop. Would it surprise you to learn that he is the line producer of this movie?

[Host/Announcer]

Not at all.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, it would have.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Not at all.

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

His name is not an actor.

[Host/Announcer]

No.

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

The other thing that we've been learning in the chat about the writer of this film, who writes a lot of elevator Christmas movies, she also created a Roman romance streaming service called Passion Flicks with Elon Musk's sister.

[June Diane Raphael]

Whoa.

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

And apparently we need to go down the rabbit hole of passion Flicks because I think this is some gold.

[Host/Announcer]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Passion Flicks.

[June Diane Raphael]

Passion Flicks. Wow. I don't need to be supporting the Musk's.

[Paul Scheer]

No, I mean, you know. Well, you know, but we're Musk's sister. We don't know what her politics are. You know, like, she's. Yeah, you're right.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Interesting.

[Paul Scheer]

Anything else we missed before we get into the second episode? Opinion.

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

Everybody's talking about how beautiful Molly is.

[Host/Announcer]

Oh, okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Take that. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tonight, Molly.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, sorry.

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

Was I supposed to pay attention to other comments?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And that's it.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, well, look, this has been great. And, you know, obviously we have an opinion about this movie. There are people out there that have a different opinion. So I checked in with the Wolves of Glendale.

[Host/Announcer]

Hilarious band.

[Paul Scheer]

They're recording an album right now and they put together a spot song for us.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cool. But everyone knows they're actually full of. We need a second opinion. Someone that knows what they're talking about. We need a second opinion. We need a second. Oh, give me a second.

[Host/Announcer]

We need a second opinion.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's hot.

[Paul Scheer]

They're great. Love the Wolves of Glendale. They'll be At Sketchfest in San Francisco later in the month at the Great American Music Hall. They also have been doing this like Iron Chef music show where they just released. They get like assigned a topic and they have to write a song about it.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Oh, that's cool.

[Paul Scheer]

They did one for the Clippers. They did one for Shrek. It's been right up your alley.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What the Shrek.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, so Merry Christmas. There's only one review on Amazon. Oh, one review on Amazon. And it's a five star one. That's it. So we had to go to Letterbox as well. So I'm gonna go back and forth between Letterboxd and Amazon and we'll start off with Splash. Pool Point says what a surprise to see three of Hallmark's star studs in this film. Though not the channel's hard hitters. These always bring a smile to my face. First, the very cute Ben Levine. He always brightens the screen. His star shines mid movie as the story shifts.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Ben Levine.

[Paul Scheer]

Then there's the handsome David o' Donnell, who commands a wonderful presence in his when sporting a beard.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's Carlton.

[Paul Scheer]

That's. Yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's Carlton.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. When sporting a beard, I often do not recognize him at first. But looking more closely, I think this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Might have been his aging.

[Paul Scheer]

Give him away. And then there's the hey mama, super quick cue.

[June Diane Raphael]

Where's he from?

[Molly (Producer/Chat Moderator)]

He's from Wellesley, Massachusetts.

[June Diane Raphael]

Super cool. That sounds about right.

[Paul Scheer]

And then there's a love interest, Brant Daugherty, who offers the warmth that that Christmas rom com needs. He's like the whipped cream at top a cup of hot cocoa. But I still have questions. Is it Santa the bellhop or Mrs. Billings who plays any magical role in the blooming relationship? 10 out of 10 stars. So it ends with a question.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But her question about the magic did not hold her up.

[Paul Scheer]

No. Yeah, not at all. Intazomi wrote technically a bad movie by all measures, but it grows on you with rewind watches. Don't just immediately turn it off when it comes on tv. Give it some time. Give it a shot. Certain audio parts, even the fiance's dramatic accent or the store lady's over the top antics grew on me. It went from a six technically to a nine star because they are. There are some grading parts, but I really like certain scenes, so I. I don't want it to be lost in all my nine stars. To avoid spoilers, I'll just say the bulk of the scenes worthwhile watching and letting grow on you are at the beginning and at the end. Now, with all that being said, this really doesn't deserve a 10 star. Nevertheless, it's worthy of a rewatch or two when you catch it on TV or when you're in the mood for phrases and moments that get caught in your head and resurface from time to time. Okay, out of 10, when you're in the mood for phrases and moments that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Get caught in your head, there was a phrase. The cousin who just loved candy.

[Brant Daugherty]

Him.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She did say when she was really upset that Brandt did not go after Kayla, she kept on saying she's miffed at him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She's like, I'm really miffed right now. And I don't get miffed all the time, but I am miffed right now. And I was like, wow, I haven't heard miffed in ever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, really, it's been a while. You know what?

[Jessica St. Clair]

They don't use it anymore.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hot chocolate of words. Yes, they. It has now been normalized. You can say pissed on tv, but you can't say it on Hallmark.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

I will say this, Jason, I'm pulling this one out for you because this is. I think it's SIR 341. The subject line is love in an elevator. Okay. And living it up.

[June Diane Raphael]

While we're going down, it says Christmas.

[Paul Scheer]

Is filled with magic. And in this movie, the magic comes in the shape of an elevator. Rumor has it that when people meet in the lift, they will fall in love. Soppy, soppy gush, gush. Well, it's Christmas.

[Jessica St. Clair]

What Jason, did you write?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Was that you.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did I write this in an active blackout? Soppy, soppy, gush. Was this written night?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, I wonder.

[Host/Announcer]

You know what?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I wonder if there is sloppy elevator kinks, like if that's a real one person. I'm just saying I think that is a thing.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, it's gotta be. I'm Molly.

[Paul Scheer]

Can you look it up?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Will you look up elevator kink tonight?

[June Diane Raphael]

No, no, it's demonstrated for sure. But I mean, like, it is very. Now we know the people that are. That love this kink are putting it into our Christmas movies. And are we comfortable with this sexy elevator play? I would love it to be consensual, is all I'm saying.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I understand.

[June Diane Raphael]

I would love for elevator play to be consensual. That's all I'm asking.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Maybe that's a part of what the play is.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, I guess now, I mean, in.

[June Diane Raphael]

The UK they call it lift play.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because I think a lot of it is too. Like the jostling puts you on Each other.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know, and the lights going out.

[Paul Scheer]

We want.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's what we want.

[Paul Scheer]

But neither of those things happen in.

[June Diane Raphael]

The clips, too, because we don't have it in this movie. In this movie, he gets stuck in the elevator alone. And he has his.

[Jessica St. Clair]

He has an intercom system, though. You know how all elevators have an intercom system that drops into the lobby?

[June Diane Raphael]

How you to the elevator when you. When you stuck in it? When you. You just talk to it.

[Jessica St. Clair]

He was talking to the mistletoe.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, he was talking to the elevator. He says he's talking to the elevator. Elevator.

[June Diane Raphael]

You stopped me from meeting the girl in my dreams.

[Jessica St. Clair]

He's mad at the elevator, which would.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Lead me to believe.

[June Diane Raphael]

I would love it if it was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The magic of the movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That the elevator has orchestrated that. He's there.

[June Diane Raphael]

I would love it if everybody knew that. If everybody knew that. Is this real or is this the elevator's magic?

[Paul Scheer]

Doris Roberts is, like, moving out and she's like, you know, I'll tell you, this elevator is magic. Everybody comes.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know what would have been awesome? Or you know what would have been awesome? Every time he meets Doris Roberts out of the elevator, she's rude to him and acts like she doesn't. She doesn't even know that it has.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's basically a horny elevator.

[June Diane Raphael]

You set foot in the elevator, all inhibitions are gone, and you just experience love.

[Paul Scheer]

That makes sense.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then in the outside world, you have to come to grips with who you are as a human being and find your way to the love that the elevator knows you already have.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And the name of that movie is the Elevator.

[Paul Scheer]

Stop, Stop. Gush, gush.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Soft magic. The Elevator.

[June Diane Raphael]

Gush, gush.

[Paul Scheer]

Get ready for some hard magic.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Um, Would you recommend this movie, Jason?

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't know. Here's the thing. Sort of. I mean, sort of, yes, absolutely. For the thing. But if you're going to be watching. A lot of us are putting on holiday movies in this season, I'm going to say absolutely. Put this in the mix.

[Paul Scheer]

It's longer than it should be, so.

[June Diane Raphael]

This is a great point. And I made this note. So do we. We all talk so often about how we clicked pause, and how Is there still 40 minutes left? How is this? Okay, I did keep track for the first time ever. The first time I paused to say how long is this movie? How much more do I have? I was sub 10 minutes. I was eight and a half minutes into the movie before I was like, I think this has been an interminable amount of time. Am I almost done? And I was like, oh, I've watched none of it so far. Wow, that's really how it chilled me to the bone.

[Paul Scheer]

I thought the movie was over and I saw 45 minutes left and I was like, wait, it didn't have moves.

[Jessica St. Clair]

She breaks up with Carlton and gets out of this sadist relationship she's in very early on, very early on, at like 20 minutes in. That's why it's so good. The pace of it is so confusing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I would also say in these Hallmark movies that are so successful, there's an hour and a half buildup to just a kiss when we load 5 minute to 8 minute mark of the movie. There's not a lot to leave live up to.

[Jessica St. Clair]

I know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you know what I'm saying?

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't know what I'm rooting for. You know what I mean? Like, they seem to be obviously well matched. So just be together. There isn't anything incredibly difficult. There's no hurdles.

[Brant Daugherty]

Really.

[June Diane Raphael]

There is no.

[Paul Scheer]

They only put their. They put their hurdles up in front of each other. They hate.

[June Diane Raphael]

All they need to do is choose each other. And that's.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Well, if you remember some of the very powerful moments of dialogue in the movie when she says to him, did I cross a boundary? And he goes, no, you didn't make one like that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Those are the hurdles.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Those are the types of hurdles.

[June Diane Raphael]

Those are the hurdles. Like. And think about it in this movie. Those are the hurdles. Very real life. In the past, the hurdles have been like, this is a nutcracker that has been brought to life. This was a dog that has become a man.

[Jessica St. Clair]

And now he's like, he's.

[June Diane Raphael]

Those are the hurdles that people are dealing with.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Movie are like, you have intentions to be a writer and do all of this, but your counter intentions are stronger and are overpowering what you really want.

[Paul Scheer]

And we never heard how the Nutcracker.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Subtle stuff.

[June Diane Raphael]

We never saw the performance. We never saw any of that. Nothing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, because I don't think it happens. It ends the night before. She says, I'm flying out the night before. She goes, I'm not going to see the show. It's too painful. And then she says to the Uber driver, give me 10 minutes. And then she goes into the elevator. So that's the night before we're led.

[Jessica St. Clair]

To believe the show went on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think so.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, I think Carl Carlton.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Nothing for the theater.

[Paul Scheer]

He knows his name is above the title.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's going to be the draw. Yeah, he is the draw.

[Paul Scheer]

He's a choreographer, director, actor. He's one of the best. We always make shirts here at the show. And I think that, you know, bitch, that's not Christmas is definitely one that we. 100% that's the way to go. But I do want to just pull out that we did remake the very first shirts we ever made here on the show. This is ridiculous. Cage, which the original people at Earwolf thought we were going to get sued by Nicholas Cage, and they told us we had a cease and desist, which I don't think was real.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's a. That's my stocking stuff.

[June Diane Raphael]

This was also very much during his very litigious period. So I think we did the right thing.

[Paul Scheer]

Now, this is one that we also got in trouble for. This is a legitimate in trouble because it's a BB8 and it says, what is its mission? That's a June shirt. But there was wrong punctuation in it, and people got angry because there was a dance. Oh.

[June Diane Raphael]

Because there's no apostrophe.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think that makes it cool.

[Paul Scheer]

That's what I thought, too. And I was like, isn't that cool? It's like a little collector's. And then someone said, I will not wear a shirt with bad grammar on it.

[June Diane Raphael]

I would love it if we had a button to unsubscribe people.

[Paul Scheer]

You can't listen anymore.

[June Diane Raphael]

Great news. Thank you so much.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Boop.

[June Diane Raphael]

You are unsubscribed.

[Paul Scheer]

So our Christmas gift to you is that you can go get these original shirts that have never been available since they were taken down and threatened legal action. You can get them now at our t public store. But let's go through what we with some plugs. My book is always a great Christmas gift.

[Host/Announcer]

There it is.

[June Diane Raphael]

You can get that stocking stuff.

[Jessica St. Clair]

It fits right into a stocking.

[Paul Scheer]

I'll personalize it. Which I have to remind myself to go sign those books tomorrow. I'll do that.

[June Diane Raphael]

And it does feel like even just in recent episodes, you've told so many new stories, they're not even in there. We need a book sequel.

[Paul Scheer]

And of course, Dark Web every Monday in on YouTube. You can watch it for free if you're catching up. Rob and I, our studio burnt down. We're in the woods now. We're in a hotel surrounded by strangers, and we have weird guests popping in. Jerry OConnell came by. John Gabris coming by. And then this Monday, Yasser Lester is in bed with us. Who else is? All right, let's see. We'll see. By the image. Who's going to promote next?

[Jessica St. Clair]

Okay, so that date already passed, but you can actually purchase a ticket at the deep diveacademy.com and rewatch this show that happened tomorrow at 5pm yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

So similar to how people can watch this show tomorrow.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But we're gonna be in the chat.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Be in the chat. So we will be watching along with our audience tomorrow at 5pm Pacific Standard.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And if you can't make that, you can watch it whenever you want.

[Jessica St. Clair]

But it'll be really fun in the chat. You guys are in the chat. You get it? Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Now Jason will go to. Oh, we'll go to you.

[June Diane Raphael]

Man on the Inside, season two, the fantastic Mike Schur show. I'm in season two. Yeah, I mean, season two. The show is absolutely hilarious and absolutely heartbreaking in turns and it's wonderful. Percy Jackson and the Olympians, season two.

[Paul Scheer]

People are loving it. People are going to love it today. They have an amazing billboard. Did you see the wave? So they built a billboard that is actually splashing waves onto.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, great. It looks gorgeous. I'm all out. Simon Rich's play that I'll be doing on Broadway at the Nederlander. You thank theater in the new year. Get your tickets. I'm sure you can figure out you're.

[Paul Scheer]

Hanging out next to Ben Schwartz and Craig Robinson there.

[June Diane Raphael]

Heidi Gardner, Sarah Silverman are in my cast. Craig Robinson. It's going to be a blast. And I'll just throw out Taskmaster Season 19. Just because I'm still up there. Why not?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And the art of small talk. Guys, this is the time for holiday parties. And learning how to small talk is so vital. We have an entire chat dedicated just to that.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Just to the holidays.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just to the holidays. How not to get stopped, you know, always have a destiny.

[Paul Scheer]

I love this book and the audiobook is fantastic. Pop that audiobook on during the holidays.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you.

[Paul Scheer]

I wanna shout out our amazing team, our producing team, Molly and Scott. The videos that they cut, the cameos that they reached out to. We wanna thank everybody at Veeps, but more importantly, we wanna thank our in house staff right here. Wes, Zoe. Hello. Helping us through our first ever in person virtual streaming event. And thank you for all submitting your questions, being in the chat, for buying a ticket, watching this. Thank you so much. We appreciate you so, so much. This is the best.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Merry Christmas.

[Paul Scheer]

Merry Christmas.

[Jessica St. Clair]

Merry Christmas.

[Paul Scheer]

Merry aw. Adam Pally here and I'm John Gabris.

[June Diane Raphael]

We're a couple actors and best friends who you may know as the host of the TV show 101 Places to Party. We're before you die.

[Paul Scheer]

Now we're bringing you a comedic look at health and wellness with our new show, Staying Alive.

[June Diane Raphael]

We'll have guests like our friend, actor.

[Paul Scheer]

Jerry O', Connell, ketamine therapist Dr. Stephen Radowitz, Paul Scheer, Ego Wodom, Jillian Bell, Dr. Dolittle. Staying alive with John Gabrison. Adam Pally is out right now.

[June Diane Raphael]

Get them a week early and ad free with SiriusXM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts. Hey, Riley Herbst here with 2311 Racing, waiting for the bus, staring at traffic crawl hard pass. I rev up Jumba Casino instead. Fast spins, blazing winds, all fun. No downloads needed. Why let the clock drag when you can let the reel spin? Next stop, jumbacasino.com let's Chumba.

[Brant Daugherty]

No purchase necessary.

[Host/Announcer]

VGW group void where prohibited by law.

[June Diane Raphael]

CTNC's 21+ sponsored by Jumba Casino.