Mortal Kombat w/ Cameron Esposito (Classic)

Summary

"How Did This Get Made?" – Mortal Kombat w/ Cameron Esposito (Classic)

Original Air Date: May 12, 2026
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guest: Cameron Esposito

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the infamous 1995 film adaptation of Mortal Kombat. The hosts and special guest Cameron Esposito dissect the movie's baffling narrative, questionable casting choices, bizarre effects, and its relationship with the iconic video game series. True to the show's style, the episode is a hilarious blend of pop culture commentary, personal anecdotes, and irreverent observations, making it a must-listen for both fans and newcomers to the franchise.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Video Game Ignorance and Revelation ([01:36] – [05:52])

• June Diane Raphael reveals she did not realize Mortal Kombat was based on a video game until after watching the film.
  • Quote (June): "I went through this whole movie not realizing it was based on a video game." [02:41]
  • Hilarious group discussion ensues about June's limited video game experience (Frogger, Oregon Trail).
• Cameron Esposito and Jason Mantzoukas talk about how Mortal Kombat was an arcade staple and transformative for violence in gaming:
  • Cameron: "That game is the reason that games have ratings." [07:48]
• Mantzoukas reassures frustrated listeners: "We're treating it like a movie." [11:43]

2. The Movie's Baffling Tournament Structure ([08:08] – [10:54])

• The panel is deeply confused by the tournament format in the film.
  • Jason: "There was no ranking system, no bracket. I couldn't follow anything." [08:25]
  • June: Describes how arbitrary the groupings of good and bad guys seemed.

3. Violence, Special Effects & 90s Nostalgia ([14:13] – [17:33])

• The group reminisces about the movie’s dated CGI and practical creature effects.
• Goro’s (the four-armed character) depiction is a particular point of fascination.
  • Cameron: "[Goro]...clearly uses a bunch of different methods...I think there’s maybe even Claymation." [14:49]
• Extended and affectionate roast of the film’s soundtrack and its iconic song.
  • Jason: "That album went platinum in less than two weeks." [17:15]
  • June: "I'm willing to say that song was terrible." [17:26]

4. Bizarre Performances & Character Critique ([21:44] – [41:14])

• Deep dive into Sonya Blade’s character and the film’s weird treatment of her:
  • June: “All of a sudden, she was this woman in distress who had been running such a badass the whole time.” [24:44]
• The group discusses the “mentor” character, Raiden (played by Christopher Lambert), his fake accent, and spectacular wig.
  • June: “He doesn’t train them…he’s going to be the Obi Wan Kenobi, nope.” [35:33]
  • Cameron: “You can’t focus on his face…his unusual hairline.” [35:51]
  • Jason: “Everything that Christopher Lambert said doesn’t make any sense.” [37:46]
• Hilarious speculation on Hollywood animal wranglers and bug handlers due to the movie’s frequent use of bugs and worms:
  • Cameron: “Who is the bug handler that’s gotta get on set…for continuity, we need worm on roach!” [12:17]

5. Reality of Mortal Kombat’s World & Plot Holes ([27:02] – [32:34])

• Characters’ utter lack of surprise toward magical events and monstrous beings is called out.
  • Jason: “As far as we know, this is not a world they were accustomed to…” [27:34]
  • Lost and Lost-parody speculation about the movie’s foggy liminal spaces.
  • Mockery of Johnny Cage’s arc—trying to prove himself by entering an invisible otherworld tournament.

6. Fun Facts & What Could Have Been ([34:34] – [57:00])

• Shock over the movie’s box office success: $18M budget with $122M worldwide gross.
• Alternative casting mind-blowers:
  • Cameron Diaz was originally cast as Sonya but broke her wrist.
  • Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp considered for Johnny Cage; Jean-Claude Van Damme turned it down for Street Fighter.
  • Steven Spielberg was supposed to cameo as a director but pulled out last minute.
• American Humane Association gave the movie a commendation for its ‘humane treatment’ of reptiles and insects used on set.

7. Second Opinions & Amazon Review Theatre ([58:49] – [64:44])

• Jason reads insane five-star Amazon reviews:
  • “This movie made me interested in wisdom, good looks, and martial arts wisdom.” [59:25]
  • One review details a harrowing journey of VHS and DVD heartbreak/fandom, making the hosts question the reviewer’s life story.
  • “I see the movie once and another and another time. The tape broke up. I cry a lot that day. I still have the broken tape.” [61:53]

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• June Diane Raphael: "Let’s wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art." [01:39]
• Cameron Esposito: "I never played this game either. But…I did live in the world at the time." [04:25]
• Jason Mantzoukas: "If you did a drinking game every time they said the name Raiden…" [11:24]
• Cameron Esposito: "That was the best part of last year’s Super Bowl—when Beyoncé was joined. It was exactly like that moment for me. Like, I can’t believe Destiny’s Child is here, back from the dead." [10:54]
• Jason Mantzoukas: "When you have somebody that injured [Goro], just go to town!" [47:18]
• June Diane Raphael: "I fucking hate this movie." [53:23]
• Jason Mantzoukas: "Everything that Christopher Lambert said doesn’t make any sense." [37:46]
• Cameron Esposito: "You could cut a nipple, right? I did." [39:59]
• Amazon Review (Jason reading): "I was a fan of the first Mortal Kombat when it came out…The tape broke up. I cry a lot that day and even I have the broken tape with me…" [61:53]

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Essential Segments & Timestamps

• [01:36] — Opening banter & June’s video game revelation
• [07:48] — Discussion on the video game’s legacy and violence
• [14:13] — CGI, Goro, and practical effects breakdown
• [21:44] — Gender, character arcs, and problematic heroics
• [35:33] — Christopher Lambert as Raiden, wigs, and accents
• [57:52] — Animal handling movie trivia
• [58:49] — Dramatic reading of Amazon five-star reviews

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Memorable Moments

• The group’s collective shock that June didn’t know Mortal Kombat was a game.
• Repeated references to “punching Goro in the dick” as the film’s big hero moment.
• Speculation about animal wranglers and Hollywood "bug men."
• Extended riffing on random audience members, including “the guy in a flannel” at the big monster fight.
• The “nice breast” Amazon review and debate over what the reviewer meant.
• Musical cues from the infamous theme song, often to June’s visible exhaustion.

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Conclusion & Recommendations

The episode concludes with the consensus that Mortal Kombat is a baffling, often joyless fight spectacle that fails to build a coherent world or deliver compelling action:

• June: “Never once, ever, in your life [watch this movie].” [66:58]
• Cameron: “If you watch anything, at least check out the brother transformation scene and the flannel guy.” [67:02]
• Jason: Offers suggestions for actual good martial arts movies instead, including The Raid: Redemption.

The show closes as always with plugs and comedic, self-aware banter.

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For fans of the podcast or bad movie enthusiasts, this is a quintessential HDTGM episode—equal parts critique and celebration of cinematic failure, delivered with irreverent glee.

Transcript

[Paul Scheer]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

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[June Diane Raphael]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores. Best mobile network based on analysis by Google of speed test intelligence data 2H 2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US cellular network footprints will enhance the T mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and. Apply ctmobile.com for details. The new Sprite Berry Blast is here with refreshing Sprite berry flavor and cold foam. Your favorite drink just got more blue. One of many new drinks now at McDonald's. Now there's not much to say about this next movie except for we saw Mortal Kombat, so you know what that means. Now it's time for we're gonna have a good time. Celebrate some fail. Oh yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

Not just be a hater.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did you know you wonder how did this remain?

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art.

[Cameron Esposito]

Perhaps we'll find the answer to the

[Jason Manzoukas]

question how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to how did this get Made? I am Paul Scheer, joined as always by Jason Manzikis. How are you, Jason?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, boy. Fine, I guess.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just watch this movie and June, Diane Rayfield.

[Paul Scheer]

How are you, June?

[Guest]

I'm good. How are you, Paul?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Very good. We have a very special guest today. Please welcome Cameron Esposito.

[Paul Scheer]

How are you, Cameron?

[Cameron Esposito]

Oh, I'm feeling great. I mean, this movie is like in my wheelhouse, so I'm very excited. Thanks for choosing this one for me.

[June Diane Raphael]

June, do you want to reveal to the audience what you just said as we were putting the mics on? And I said, I feel like let's try and recreate it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I said, well, maybe, maybe we could do this. We could actually just play. Because we did. Roll it. Let's just roll.

[June Diane Raphael]

What just happened in. I didn't play this game.

[Cameron Esposito]

I never played it either.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Fuck.

[Cameron Esposito]

We're all. But I did do the research to try. Just be like, you know, what is this a thing in the. You know, so it's pretty cross referenced.

[Guest]

Didn't know there was a game. Okay, so there it was.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, so there it was. And what we just realized is that June went through this whole movie not realizing it was based on a video game.

[Guest]

Well, to be fair, I did write down at one point, this sounds like a video game.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sounds like a.

[Guest]

Sounds like the noises. The sounds.

[Cameron Esposito]

Some of it actually is when reptile comes in. That's actually from the game.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Cameron Esposito]

Cause it does sound like you nailed it.

[Guest]

It does sound like the. Of a video game. Like even what you just played.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, but the thing. Is that song familiar?

[Guest]

Mortal Kombat. Those words together sound familiar.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, they sounded like something.

[Cameron Esposito]

But you just remembered them from fighting to the death, right?

[Guest]

I don't remember my own personal experience,

[Cameron Esposito]

general experience of fighting to the death.

[Guest]

I did know that's a familiar phrase or saying, I just didn't know. I'm laughing because I didn't know where it was from.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, you didn't know? But so in your mind, Mortal Kombat, you were. You just thought, well, this is a very large cast of characters, and it seems to be nothing but mano e mano fight sequences.

[Guest]

I have a lot. I sat down and said, guys, I don't even know what to say about this movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You stormed out of our living room three times going, this movie irritates me. And you walk out.

[Guest]

I had a very bad reaction to it. I didn't know what it was.

[June Diane Raphael]

We get it. You guys have a living room now.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I will say we wanted to. I know a lot of people out there will be upset, like, oh, come on. Well, you don't know the game. And the game. And I played this game. Not so much that I would know all these details, but enough that I understand it. But screw you guys who are gonna be upset about this. It's a movie. It's a movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

We're judging it from. And here's the thing. If you have particular fondness for this movie because it pushes a button of love for you of playing this game, I need you to understand this movie is very bad.

[Cameron Esposito]

This movie is like, you love this game. You should actually kind of hate this movie, because now I never played this game either. But I did know what I did live in the world at the time.

[Guest]

And that's fair. And that's fair.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, this is at like every roller skating rink growing up.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's like a big arcade game.

[Guest]

They were words that sounded familiar.

[Cameron Esposito]

It was like duck hunt. Then like that rampage game where you turn into a bigger ape. You know, if something.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, that was a good one. I like that.

[Guest]

But here's what I'm realizing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, to bring us back to June, One of her most famous quotes. You don't really even understand Street Fighter. And you didn't understand that that was a game.

[Guest]

No, that was a game. Now, my relationship to video games growing up.

[June Diane Raphael]

What do you know about video games?

[Guest]

My next door neighbor had Nintendo. And the games I played were the game where you had to cross the street in a little. A frog crossed the street with Frogger.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's not an intender.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why did you let her off the hook way too fast? Was it an Atari?

[Guest]

It was an entari. It was not an.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, I want to go back to what you described. A frog that was in a cart.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now I want to go back. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did you think when you were playing that the frog was also in a cart, just going perpendicular to traffic?

[Guest]

I knew there were frogs and carts. I couldn't remember exactly how they related

[June Diane Raphael]

Frog or what was the other game?

[Cameron Esposito]

The best games on Nintendo. Also, that Sonic the Hedgehog game was pretty good.

[Guest]

You didn't play that. I didn't play that. I've heard of Sonic the Hedgehog.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, you have?

[Guest]

I played Frogger. I've played Oregon Trail. I've played.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Which I know that's not a Nintendo game.

[Guest]

Okay. No, that's on the computer.

[June Diane Raphael]

I played solitaire.

[Guest]

Those are the two games that I have played, and I'm Mario Brothers. I have played those games. When I went to an arcade or, you know, some sort of event with roller skates, whatever, I would see the video games. I wouldn't even go to near zombie.

[Cameron Esposito]

Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why?

[Guest]

I wasn't interested.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is why you get so angry when you see things like Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto. Because you've gone from Oregon Trail to Grand Theft Auto 5.

[Guest]

That's a part of life like I'd never had any interest in.

[June Diane Raphael]

I spent days, weeks worth of my life getting quarters and playing in an arcade. When I grew up, you could go to Paladin, an arcade in my area, with your report card, and they would give you a doll, dollars worth of tokens for every A you got.

[Guest]

Wow. Well, that's kind of great.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest]

I mean, I played pinball machines.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, wait. What do you want? You want a cookie for That I

[Guest]

think of other things that are.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like when you're at the pizza place waiting.

[Guest]

Yes. Ski ba.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, so you're into like old timey fare.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like you, you played one of those video games where you put the coin in and you, you spin the dial and you see a moving picture. Like that's a video game that you like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Or like you put a quarter in and just like a dances in the.

[Guest]

Yeah, I'm 72 years old.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't get with your newfangled games.

[Guest]

These words sounded familiar to me. Mortal Kombat. But I didn't know what. I didn't know where the source material

[Cameron Esposito]

was about the video game fans being mad is because the whole thing with that game was that it was super violent. It was like the first mega violent game and they had the spine rip. There's a spine rip move in there

[Jason Manzoukas]

and yeah, you could rip out a head and the spine would be dangling.

[Cameron Esposito]

I think actually that game is the reason that games have ratings. I think that's.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think you are right. And this, this movie was originally to be an R rated movie so they could embrace the one thing that is defining about it, which is the violence of the game.

[Guest]

So the basic premise of the movie where mortals are fighting creatures who have magical powers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I would say that this is a

[Guest]

part of the premise of the game.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I would say that this is part of the movie that I'm a little bit unsure of as a game player. I felt like there was a tournament, but it seemed like there were certain people who were not. The tournament didn't seem like the rankings. I couldn't follow a ranking system. I was like, oh, now they're out. But did they win?

[June Diane Raphael]

Did they move off versus bad guys?

[Jason Manzoukas]

But yet they were all there.

[June Diane Raphael]

Couldn't tell who. Like why were the. Why were the people who were brought arbitrarily good guys or bad guys?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I'm assuming then that some of the good guys killed other good guys, I think in the beginning round.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, to me it's like I feel like this movie was missing that chart that they had in the Karate Kid where they kind of just moved up the name LaRusso. So you got to see what was happening here. There was no rankings or like a

[Cameron Esposito]

round robin or like a bracket sort

[Guest]

of a tournament thing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

At one point sang some. The bad guy, he was like, well,

[June Diane Raphael]

oh, the guy from Iron Chef.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did anybody else think that he was just like the host of Iron Chef? Like that guy. They both overact so much in the most hilarious way every time he would get up and make those big declarations. It's like at the beginning of Iron Chef where the guy tells everybody what the secret ingredient is. Not America. Not America' cause that's the guy's nephew. But the original Iron Chef where the guy had such dramatic flair. This guy was. That guy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, this guy was amazing because also when he said something in the movie he would do this, he'd be like, well, now if you win this match, I can either challenge you or I can challenge someone else. Well, that's not a good effective tournament. That doesn't mean anything.

[June Diane Raphael]

Everybody just gets to make shit up.

[Cameron Esposito]

I think the mortal part also really comes into play because there's a couple times when the person does not die and then the tsang tsum just comes

[Jason Manzoukas]

in and sucks their soul out.

[Cameron Esposito]

Well, I'll go ahead and clear this up.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Basically, he always is winning. Cause Sang Tsum is like. He basically is. If I'm mispronouncing it, I'm sorry. But like, he just. So he gets all the souls regardless. No matter who wins in these fights, he's collecting souls.

[June Diane Raphael]

What I couldn't understand was, was he collecting souls in order that he. In order to make himself unbeatable so that if it got down to it and he needed to fight to win

[Jason Manzoukas]

the 10th victory clearly happened.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has at his disposal all of this sorcery. He can recall the souls that he's stolen to fight on his behalf.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I want to talk to this stuff. I know we don't normally jump ahead, but at the end, when he does have to call up all the souls, I do love that they all kind of pop out of the ground through little circles like a Britney Spears concert or something. They all are shooting up from beneath the stage. And I was like, I wish I was on set for that day when these big muscle bound men were forced to be shot through holes. Like, it did not go well.

[Cameron Esposito]

That was the best part of last year's super bowl is when Beyonce was joined. And it was exactly like that moment for me. Like, I can't believe Destiny's Child is here, back from the dead.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And there's a little bit of a stutter step because you're being rocketed into the air. And the worst, they are being shot through like fake brick.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Guest]

But here's what I don't understand. So when he would take. I don't know any of these characters names, I didn't understand.

[June Diane Raphael]

And it was harder too because they. They didn't say them ever. Just Kidding. Everybody called everybody by their first and last name in every occurrence in the.

[Jason Manzoukas]

When Lord Raiden came on, they said, Lord Raiden about a mil. If you did a drinking game. Every time they said the name Raiden,

[Guest]

any of them to memory, but. So when that guy was stealing, was taking souls.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Guest]

Were those people then dead to never be heard from again? Or did they then become his? Because of what I thought was happening, I'm sure this is all in the video game again.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, no, no, we gotta treat this like a movie. We're treating it like a movie.

[Guest]

Was that those people were becoming his, like, sort of slave army. That was.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But that was unclear too, because it's pretty confusing. Cause Sub Zero and Scorpion were under his spell.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

You mean the guys that ripped their faces off to reveal skeleton heads full of bugs and worms?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, those guys.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, they also. Oh, cool. Got it. Yeah, those guys who were from Halloween 3, who also had faces of bugs and worms.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think a real potent image, I guess, is like a head that opens and erupts into bugs and worms.

[Cameron Esposito]

I always think about, like, who is the bug handler? That's like, gotta get on set. I could make that morning and just be like, hey, the roach is on top of the worm. But for continuity, we need worm on roach. So if you could just get in here then.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You need somebody in the skull, though, going like, they need some sort of push more through. We gotta get him out. We got him. He's like, just shoving him.

[Cameron Esposito]

It's like that Play DOH spaghetti thing, you know, where you, like, shoot the Play DOH out.

[June Diane Raphael]

I do think, and I'm willing to say this now, that we should have an episode where we interview a Hollywood bug man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

If you are a Hollywood bug man. Please.

[Guest]

You animal wranglers. I can't believe I'm gonna go on record and say this, but they're usually. They're strange.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, I'm sorry, You can't believe you're gonna go on record as saying Hollywood animal wranglers are strange people.

[Guest]

They are. It's a certain personality that I'm gonna

[Jason Manzoukas]

say 90% of the time. They are not animal trainers. They are animal owners that just happen to, like, want their animal. We have a snake trainer in the league and they're like, oh, you can't train a snake. Their training. A snake was hitting it with a stick and the snake was, like, vomiting and shitting all over the floor.

[Cameron Esposito]

I was on a Marin episode where they had a cat wrangler and. Let me. Allow me to Throw something out there. She had a belt on and on. Part of the utility belt was just a little like a tiny Pringles can sort of a thing. And it was rewrapped in brown paper, and it said on it, like, liver snaps. And so she not only put it onto a belt, but she also labeled it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

She's like a Batman. She's a Batman ring.

[June Diane Raphael]

She's a Catman Cat man. Catwoman Cat.

[Cameron Esposito]

Little liver snip area. That was labeled. That's how I knew it was labeled.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, she didn't want to be reaching for liver snaps when she was reaching for something else. Oh, yeah.

[Guest]

That's confusing.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. No, but to be fair, if you handle bugs for a living and you're a fan of the show and want to come on and tell us what's up with that, please, come on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We will talk to you.

[June Diane Raphael]

We want to know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I will also talk about. This movie came out in 1995, and it was at the beginning of CGI, which is amazing because it's before people have, like, learned how to cue, like, react to it appropriately. Because CGI in this movie, like, the way they're reacting is not mimicking what is actually happening. It's really like if something is, like, flying by their face, like, whoa.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like, their reactions are so big, and

[Cameron Esposito]

it's so cool to see. Well, I love. I love, like, effects stuff. And what I love about this is Goro's character.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Is Goro the two forearms.

[Paul Scheer]

Many arms.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah. Old forearms.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's what I called him in my notes.

[Cameron Esposito]

I call him old forearms. And he. They clearly use, like. Because it's just the beginning of cgi, they clearly use a bunch of different methods to make him, like, some shots where it's just like, an arm in front of the camera being like, hey, can you just get that arm over here? And then, like, there's other shots where it's clearly a guy standing on another guy's shoulders. And there's just so many composite. There's like. I think there's maybe even Claymation.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's definitely. Ray Harryhausen was definitely involved.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So the miniatures in this are amazing, kind of different.

[Cameron Esposito]

And I love that from this time period is. It's, like, very. It's.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's.

[Cameron Esposito]

Terminator 2 did it the best, but this is like a time period where they're trying to smash a couple things together.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's, like, right where Clash of the Titans meets Terminator 2. It's sort of like they just don't know which side to go On. But I want to talk about Goro, the forearm guy. He is. You're led to believe that this is a character. I know we're going out of order,

[June Diane Raphael]

but is there an order? It's just a series of fights.

[Guest]

If I hear that story. There's no narrative.

[June Diane Raphael]

One more time, I will put a bullet in my head.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was this song of all time.

[June Diane Raphael]

This is 80% of the movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I wanted to play for a 90%

[June Diane Raphael]

this and, like,

[Jason Manzoukas]

Get over here mentality.

[June Diane Raphael]

And it's just. It was insanity. At a certain point, I was like, you can't just play this song and have fights. Create a movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I want more. Like when that, like, it almost. I got excited in my house because I was like, yeah, because at least gave me some energy.

[Cameron Esposito]

I can't believe I don't listen to that song when I'm at the gym.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I want every. Oh, I want. It's the best song of all time.

[Cameron Esposito]

You are wrong.

[June Diane Raphael]

You guys are very, very wrong.

[Cameron Esposito]

I think that they wrote that song ahead of time.

[Guest]

The.

[Cameron Esposito]

The Whoever put that. It's like somebody actually. Yeah, that's Lords of Acid or something.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, it is a.

[Guest]

That song is not in the video game.

[Cameron Esposito]

That is like, their song. And then they put in the. The Mortal Comet scream. Like how when Bruce Springsteen. Mortal Kombat, that song that's in whatever the fuck that movie is with. What the fuck is that movie where Tom Cruise leaves the. And then Renee passed away, goes with it doesn't matter. But they put the sound effect shell versus the volcano and, like, ruined. That's their story. And now forever, for the rest of their lives. I couldn't stop thinking about, like, if you made that song. And then now the only thing people remember is, like, they're gonna scream that in your fucking face for the rest of your life.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, here is one thing. I will tell you that that album went platinum. The Mortal Kombat soundtrack went platinum in less than two weeks.

[Cameron Esposito]

For sure. It did.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Because everyone loved it.

[Cameron Esposito]

I'm buying it now.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm willing to say that song was terrible.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It was great.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was exhausting is what it was.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, so I want to talk. Oh, go ahead.

[Guest]

I was gonna ask, as a fan of the video games, did you guys like the video game?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I loved the video game I didn't play.

[Guest]

You never played.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I loved the video game because it

[Guest]

was satisfying to me.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, not at all. No, it was not satisfying as two people squared off.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's like a button smasher.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

And you just do different combinations. And it's like.

[Guest]

And

[Jason Manzoukas]

the cool thing about the video game from my remember, my memory of it was it was like, it was video. So, like, the characters were not, like animated. They were like, they brought in, like, actors, and so they were real people. And that was like a cool thing. Like, so the world looked very much like a video game, but the characters looked like real people.

[June Diane Raphael]

What's the difference between this and Final Fantasy? Wasn't that the same?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Final Fantasy is a whole different thing. Like Tekken.

[June Diane Raphael]

What was the other two person Street Fighter. Oh, Street Fighter.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were like.

[June Diane Raphael]

So these were competing enemy games. Okay, got it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Got it now. But.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, everybody is flipping out right now.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, they're mad. How the fuck do you not know what this is?

[June Diane Raphael]

Do some fucking research out there. Do some research. Guys. Talk to me when they make a game out of Pitfall.

[Jason Manzoukas]

A movie or a movie about a

[Paul Scheer]

frog in a car.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh. Or a Qbert movie.

[Paul Scheer]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

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[Paul Scheer]

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[Guest]

Let me ask a quick question.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest]

What was Sonia? Was her name Sonia or Sasha?

[June Diane Raphael]

Sonia.

[Guest]

What was their occupation in the real world?

[Cameron Esposito]

Special forces.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sonia is like a policeman. She's got the shotgun in the beginning.

[Cameron Esposito]

It is confusing why their job description involves because it feels like maybe they work for the government, but like deep ops, where you just run into space where you're just like, my job is to run at this ship.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I have the video.

[Cameron Esposito]

Don't have any connection to anybody else, which I never really asked anybody. I've heard questions where she's her boss,

[Jason Manzoukas]

but her boss, the guy that she's with, the guy she's with who doesn't get on the boat. When she runs towards the boat, he goes. He literally says it in this tone of voice like, hey, Sonia, don't get. Don't get on the boat.

[June Diane Raphael]

So, like, oh, well, oh, well, there she goes.

[Cameron Esposito]

Maybe he's the guy that has to go back to their boss just like, I don't know.

[Guest]

She ran into some men.

[Jason Manzoukas]

She got into a fog boat.

[Guest]

Why did the other guy. Sorry, don't know any of their names. Why did the other guy want to fight her so badly?

[June Diane Raphael]

Metal face.

[Guest]

Not metal face. I don't know, by the way.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just you want to know. This is from the Mortal Kombat Wiki. Sonya Blade is a female soldier who's a member of the earthrealm's special forces unit known as the Outer World Investigation Agency, the oia. And so she. She's sort of like a DEA agent of the Outer World.

[Cameron Esposito]

Like a Men in Black, sort of a predictive guy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

What?

[Cameron Esposito]

Okay, that's really so.

[Guest]

But when the other guy says, I don't want you to harm her. I just want you to humiliate her.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh. Oh, you mean. What was that about the head bad guy? The bad guy,

[Cameron Esposito]

like a rape setup going on there?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really.

[Guest]

Really. Just over the top of her humiliation.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, they took her out of her short shorts, which she was fighting in her short shorts. And then they kind of dressed her in, like, a princess outfit for no real.

[June Diane Raphael]

Couldn't figure that out. But I was like, did he. Was he softening her up so he could blast her? What's the deal?

[Guest]

Didn't it. Something was very wrong about that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, and then the friends come and save her, and the guy who's been flirting with her the whole time goes, nice chest. Nice chest.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, he says, nice dress.

[Guest]

Dress.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, I thought he said, nice chest.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Nice dress.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I. I thought to myself, who on earth says chest? Who would be like. Instead of saying, like, nice tits or whatever, who would be like, hey, nice chest?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I will say that this is my issue with that character. Everyone that was there was a fighter of some kind, right? And they were all really. But everyone was protecting her. Like, oh, let's not beat her up. Let's not touch the girl. But she was a fucking very good fighter.

[June Diane Raphael]

They brought her there because she was a good fighter.

[Guest]

At least she punches in the face.

[Cameron Esposito]

Like, that's nice to see when there's a chance. I do think, though, like, she is like, she did the Angelina Jolie variety of.

[Guest]

Yeah, but that's what I had a problem with, because she was really. All of a sudden, she was like this woman in distress who had been

[June Diane Raphael]

running such a badass the whole time. I agree.

[Guest]

And she was screaming and flailing about like it was very strange.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And by the way, if you want to know who Was up for this role originally.

[Paul Scheer]

Sharon Stone.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh.

[June Diane Raphael]

And who was the woman that played it?

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is actually Pete Sampras. Wow. Her name is Bridget Wilson Sampras. And Dina Meyer. Also from Battlefield. Or was it called Starship Troopers? Those are the two that turned it down.

[Cameron Esposito]

Do you guys recognize her from Billy Madison?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. That's who I remember.

[Cameron Esposito]

Billy Madison. That was a formative person.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

Like the hot chicken. Veronica.

[Guest]

Come on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. She was like, like. And. But by the way, she seems so humorless to me as a character. Like, like at one point they make a joke like, about. I wrote it down. Like, she's always taking Johnny Cage's jokes as being, like, serious.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, she doesn't get humor.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like, apparently her partner was killed by Kano.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right?

[June Diane Raphael]

Her partner's killed by Kano. And from that point forward, she only has a bloodlust for revenge and cannot entertain jokes, cannot crack a smile. All she wants, she will shoot up a nightclub. She will do whatever it takes to kill Kano. And then she snaps his leg, his neck with her leg. And I was like, this is some cold ass shit right here.

[Cameron Esposito]

I feel like it's more like an anti feminist. Like, women that fight are not fun. Like, they're not nice to you. They're not nice.

[June Diane Raphael]

I agree.

[Guest]

And I felt like they shot that fight scene in. I mean, I did appreciate that she got punched in the face a few times.

[June Diane Raphael]

Me too.

[Guest]

But they really did shoot it in like these weird close ups that like, you never really saw her.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, no. And I slowed it down, by the way, because I wanted to see him connect. She did all.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All of her own fights, all of her own stuff.

[Guest]

And that showed, though.

[Cameron Esposito]

But how could you have slowed it down? Because the fight sequences in this part were already suspended.

[June Diane Raphael]

Are also the most. I disagree.

[Cameron Esposito]

Most telegraphed punches.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was so crazy to me. Cause, yeah, they would always slow it down. I was like, but you're not doing anything when she flips over that guy. I was like, why are you slowing down this flip? It's not like she's moving so quickly.

[Cameron Esposito]

Many people were able to duck. That was a big move to get away also.

[June Diane Raphael]

And every punch is very easily blocked because it is set up and then ventured very slowly executed.

[Cameron Esposito]

And like the special kind of magical moves they give them, like plenty of time to set up where it's like, I'm calling to the gods, Ice thing is forming in my hands. Like, stay over there and look at it with your eyes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Can I ask this? Why wasn't any of The. Why weren't any of the mortals, like, why wasn't Johnny Cage. Johnny Cage or Liu Kang or Sonya or any of these people surprised when there was a four armed man? When people could summon. When people could summon electricity?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, as far as we know, this is not a world that they were accustomed to. Like, Johnny Cage was not like, oh, I know there's an other world. And by the way, it wasn't also made clear if the boat was in the air because there was so much fog, or if they were on the water.

[June Diane Raphael]

Do you know when he looks and the compass is going crazy or whatever? Do you think they were on the Lost Island?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I thought they were on the Lost Island. John Locke was one of the fighters.

[June Diane Raphael]

How fucking awesome would it have been on Lost if they just walked by and, like, there was a Mortal Kombat happening in the background?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The others were just like all those other.

[June Diane Raphael]

If, like the man in black and Titus Welliver. Or Titus Welliver and the other guy there, when you flash back to them, they are just mortal combatants.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It was never a polar bear. It was sub zero the entire time.

[Guest]

Well, it did seem like even if they didn't know this world existed, they were very used to the idea of, like, magic and powers. And, like, that wasn't new information for anyone.

[June Diane Raphael]

But I think it was new information.

[Guest]

I think it was supposed to be too, but it should have been.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They were so jaded.

[Cameron Esposito]

No, you guys, you could tell that they were surprised because of their sassy jokes. You know, like, whenever Johnny Cage was like, that's just how he interprets the world. He's just like, oh, this again. I gotta carry my bags. We see other worlds.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Johnny Cage is my favorite character. And his love relationship with Sonya was not ever set up right. I mean, they had, like a couple.

[Guest]

I think what they wanted was that, like, Sam and Diane type of, you know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But then all of a sudden, he's like, I will never let. I'll never let you get out of my sight. And I was like, wait, what just did we miss like a 5?

[Guest]

I want to talk about him.

[June Diane Raphael]

You belong to me now.

[Guest]

Woman throwing his autographed picture at the end of that fight. Now he had.

[June Diane Raphael]

How about wearing the sunglasses to the other fight?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Those are five.

[Cameron Esposito]

How about.

[Guest]

See, this was during a time, though. I feel like in like the early 90s, there was this real sort of like a lot of actors in movies were portrayed as just the worst douchebags in the world. Like, that was during that time where it was like you were a Movie star in a movie, playing a movie star.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, you were, you were getting handled. Pretty horrible person.

[Cameron Esposito]

We also need to go back to the fact that the whole reason he's there is because he like, definitely reads tabloid articles about himself.

[June Diane Raphael]

Even like the tabloid articles in like, Chinese.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, the tabloid article. What he is, his character's arc is that the tabloids are saying that he is a fake, a fake karate fighter. He's like, I can't stand it. I'm a good karate fighter. And that's why he goes, can I actually play this clip from the movie? When his master comes to tell him to fight in this tournament, you'll get a sense of the movie. Here, take a listen. I see the press is still giving you a hard time. Yeah, they think I'm a fake. Johnny, you're one of the best martial artists in the world. And I can help you prove it.

[Cameron Esposito]

Prove it how?

[Jason Manzoukas]

A tournament. The tournament that's held once a generation. The best fighters in the world are invited. You win the tournament, you win the respect. They'll tell the entire world that you're the real goods. That is the premise. That's pretty much.

[Guest]

I wish though, at the end of the movie we. We had seen, you know, printing presses putting out some new articles. It seemed like the word was gonna get out.

[June Diane Raphael]

Maybe in the sequel. Maybe in the sequel.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The sequel does pick up right after this movie. I wanna just before we get away from Johnny Cage. Cause there's something very important. Did you guys notice anything about that director that was directing the movie? Anything?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who did it look like?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, the director. Yeah, Steven Spielberg.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right. Now, did you be very surprised to know that apparently Steven Spielberg is a big Mortal Kombat fan and was supposed to make an appearance as the director in the movie, but scheduling conflicts forced him to back out at the last minute. So he was lined up. Steven Spielberg could have been in this movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

Unbelievable.

[Cameron Esposito]

I wonder if he's bummed listening to this show right now. He listens, right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

He listens every time.

[Cameron Esposito]

You know, I also think that somebody should tell Johnny Cage about pr. You know what I mean? Just like, just like let him clue him in, you know, like you can get people that. Because he's kind of going for this like, kind of word of mouth element. Yeah, that I feel like, you know,

[Guest]

it's like invite some reporters on set and just have them watch you actually do it. Because he is actually.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, there's nothing about, like, it's very easy to prove that you're not a fake.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. Do an ex karate do. Like a martial arts expo, right?

[Guest]

Anything show people.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really? Anything?

[June Diane Raphael]

Almost anything.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. That would be the only that rule would be the easiest to fight or

[June Diane Raphael]

to be honest enter a difficult to locate and or prove exists otherworld fighting competition that nobody is aware.

[Cameron Esposito]

With no specific name.

[Guest]

Right to be tournament. In the hopes that the people there will then spread the word.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah, they're gonna talk about it.

[June Diane Raphael]

But for all intents and purposes that is impossible as everyone will be dead.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Two.

[June Diane Raphael]

Except for the one winner. In theory.

[Jason Manzoukas]

To be fair to this film, it's a long need. We will say that the guy was a face shifter. Oh yeah. It was actually sang some who came there and pretended to be his old man.

[June Diane Raphael]

He was tricking all of these people into coming to fight by appealing to their problems.

[Guest]

Still, the problem went remains the same.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well look, if your teacher, if your sensei told you there was a thing you might go. You may not ask him too many questions.

[June Diane Raphael]

How come none of the guys from Cobra Kai were there?

[Cameron Esposito]

They're not the best fighters.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But again, this is my question and this is maybe infuriating people at home. Is there a reason I don't understand like you would? My idea would be that there'd be somebody from every realm and then whoever won the tournament would then be able to take over all the realms.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're now kind of describing the plotline of Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction's Iron Fist series, which is multiple realms. Each have a fighter and all those fighters have to fight each other.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

And they all have have special powers about which which pertain to each of their places of origin.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Got it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Which is kinda like a better version of this.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Kinda like Last Airbender, which was again one of the worst movies we've ever seen in our entire lives.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

I think we could even take this one step back though.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just.

[Cameron Esposito]

Even the way that the people in this movie are delivering the word fighter makes that sound like it is a baby. Did anybody was anybody? Cause they'd be like, he's a great fighter. In the movie the fighter. That sounds like a tough thing to be.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

In this movie it sounds like a vague description of nothing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Where are they fighting?

[Cameron Esposito]

He's a fighter. He's a fighter.

[Guest]

He's gonna fight.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And it's also such a weird assemblage of people like an actor. I don't know what John.

[June Diane Raphael]

A special ops person.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. What? Liu Kang? I don't really understand what he does besides tucking shirts into jeans.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh my God. But we have yet to touch upon who I found to be the most bizarre person in this movie, which was.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, yes, yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, there's a fucking Highlander in this movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he. Lord Raiden. What's going on?

[Guest]

Who is he?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is he cross eyed? No.

[Cameron Esposito]

Well, it would be hard to know if he's cross eyed Cause you can't stop thinking about his accent. You can't focus on his face.

[June Diane Raphael]

I can't tell if he has an

[Cameron Esposito]

accent where he's from.

[June Diane Raphael]

Talking baby talk the whole time.

[Guest]

It was such a. It was a fascinating performance though. Like really, I will give him this. I really could not take my eyes off of it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Tell me more.

[Guest]

Every time he was on screen. Cause I really did have trouble paying attention to this movie. And I'm so. I'm a little lost on a lot of this because it really just didn't hold my attention. But when he came on screen, I

[Jason Manzoukas]

was, well, he's always popping up. He's always popping into everybody's conversations and then he's presenting stuff and he's like,

[Paul Scheer]

ah, you're finally learning.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But he's never presenting any. Like, like everyone.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like at a certain point I was like, oh, he's gonna train them. He doesn't train them. At a certain point I was like, oh, he's gonna be the Obi Wan Kenobi. Like he's gonna have to fight the big bad guy. Like the, like Vader and Obi Wan's fight and sacrifice himself. Nope.

[Guest]

He like disappears for the character in the video game.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yes, yes. Yeah.

[Guest]

What does he do in the video game?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Shoots those lasers are his thing.

[Cameron Esposito]

Or like the lightning.

[Guest]

Oh, so he does fight.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has laser eyes.

[Cameron Esposito]

Do you think any part of your fixation with him has to do with his unusual hairline? Because I think he has one of the more unusual hairlines in movie. Dumb. Like it's kind of a Frankenstein. Yeah, but like any movie you've ever. No, that's his name.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But that's somebody's job to make a wig look good. I mean, you can't just chalk it up.

[June Diane Raphael]

The look on June's face for the line, that was a wig though, was priceless.

[Guest]

That was a wig though, sweetheart.

[June Diane Raphael]

That was a wig.

[Cameron Esposito]

His. I mean, I don't really know what's going on with his hair, but I will say, have seen the Highlander series.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Cameron Esposito]

It's as confusing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I agree with this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Should we do Highlander on this show?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think we should definitely do Highlander on this show.

[June Diane Raphael]

Should we just do every Christopher Lambert movie?

[Jason Manzoukas]

That should be our live show.

[June Diane Raphael]

Also married to Diane Lane for a very long time.

[Guest]

I love Diane Lane.

[Jason Manzoukas]

My issue about him, too, is that clearly Raiden, or at least when I played the game, was an Asian male, hence the rice paddy hat.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And I feel like anyone else wearing a rice paddy hat is offensive. I do feel like. I don't feel like.

[Guest]

Also, the wig was like. It's. It's definitely a wig.

[Cameron Esposito]

Listen, that could be a wig or not. I mean, but, like, you think you

[Guest]

could grow that length? I think you grew that out.

[Cameron Esposito]

No, not in thickness.

[June Diane Raphael]

Welcome back to Wig Talk with June. Diane Rayfield.

[Jason Manzoukas]

If you have done a wig for Christopher Lambert, we want to have you on the show.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know what? If you're a working Hollywood wig artist and have worked with Nicolas Cage, Christopher

[Jason Manzoukas]

Lambert, or John Travolta.

[Guest]

But I do see what you're saying, which is that the wig is following and mimicking a hairline that's already there.

[Cameron Esposito]

But it's just pretty shocking. It's pretty straight across in a way. That hair, you know, doesn't ever grow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There is something amazing I want to talk about, and this, I think, kind of sums up his character. So Raiden is this character who. Who is the mentor, the Mr. Miyagi, of this, who gives no information. Mr. Miyagi, you can at least look back and go, oh, well, he. The wax on, wax off, taught him this. Everything that Christopher Lambert said doesn't make any sense. The best thing I think, that sums up this whole character is at the very end of the movie, what he says to these characters that just had a battle to the death. Here, take a listen. I've got to tell you something. You guys did great.

[Cameron Esposito]

Come to me.

[June Diane Raphael]

What is it?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The Emperor. Weak, pathetic fools. I come from your souls. I don't think so. This is a big, violent action movie. And he just basically goes, you guys. You guys are so good. I'm so proud of you guys. Great job. It's such an unclimactic ending of a movie.

[Cameron Esposito]

It's like the ruffling of the hair almost you buddies. And it gives him legit.

[June Diane Raphael]

And he has the kind of opinion where he's kind of like, I always knew you could do it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't want to.

[June Diane Raphael]

But it's like, no, you've had nothing. He didn't really assemble these people. He has nothing to do with their success. No, he didn't train them, nor did he impart anything of particular value.

[Guest]

He trained one of them. I thought he trained Liu Kang. Yeah. Didn't he?

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, it's not.

[June Diane Raphael]

I couldn't tell.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean. And by the way, that was how the movie was supposed to end, with him just going, I gotta tell you guys something. You did great credits. And then they added on a little bit more because I think it tested so poorly that they were like, whoa, you can't end.

[Guest]

We'll end. All those children ran out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Where were those.

[Guest]

Where did those kids.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Was that school a school let out on the same. On this crazy, mysterious island in Bizarro Land. Like, I'm again, I'm not quite sure if this island existed on Paris.

[Guest]

Maybe for the kids who were gonna spread the word about maybe the actors.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, he's got that army on the islands and they've gotta fuck something, so there must be concubines. And those girls get pregnant and those kids no doubt become like the next wave of like the slave army. It's like the army that Khaleesi hides.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So that's the baby. The baby of the Khaleesi.

[Cameron Esposito]

You could cut a nipple, right? I did.

[Guest]

Like Princess Katana, anyone?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

I thought it was pretty confusing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Cameron Esposito]

That she fought. What's his name?

[June Diane Raphael]

Liu Kang.

[Cameron Esposito]

Little puff hair.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

And then nothing happened. How was that not. They fought for a second, but it was not when she was telling him.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, when she was telling him, like, what to do.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There are some things.

[Cameron Esposito]

What was going on there?

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's the other thing I have an issue with. Sometimes they're tournament fights and other times they're just fighting and like, it's like, oh, like when that army attacks the three of them and they're kind of snooping around the mysterious mountain, like, that's not a fight. That's on record. That's sort of like an extracurricular fight.

[Guest]

And why did they keep on saying that it was going to be. There were going to be terrible consequences if she got together with. What is it?

[June Diane Raphael]

Didn't they also say she was 10,000 years old?

[Guest]

Yeah, she's 10,000 years old.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What?

[Guest]

Oh, she was looking great.

[Cameron Esposito]

Her wig was great. You know what I mean?

[Guest]

Like, straight wig work.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wasn't a wig.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wig that. She is 10,000 years old.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You don't know how supernatural powers affect. It could be the opposite way, you know, maybe like Mork and Mindy. Jonathan Winters was a very. As a baby, but he's an old man.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's interesting. Rip. Jonathan Winters.

[Paul Scheer]

Rip.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Can we talk about the set design a little bit, too? All the sets look like. Like a crazy, shitty.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, how about the Crazy stairs. That Johnny, what's his name, fights yellow guy. Yellow guy in yellow suit.

[Cameron Esposito]

I think this looks like a he man playset that you had at your house that they were like, does anybody have anything they could bring in? Cause our budget is low.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, it was like, this is somebody who makes a home haunt. It looks pretty good. It's like, we'll put some purple light here. You can't really tell that's a refrigerator.

[June Diane Raphael]

The great survivals stuff that looks like cobwebs and a couple of fake skeletons.

[Guest]

The most upsetting thing was when that guy was eating the chicken wing.

[June Diane Raphael]

The cyborg guy?

[Guest]

Yeah, the turkey leg, whatever the hell. That was disgusting.

[Cameron Esposito]

I hate miked food.

[June Diane Raphael]

I found that. I found that really sexy, actually, the

[Guest]

amount of food on that table. And why was he by himself and not at the banquet?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, because that was a scene where they needed to send up all the exposition of the entire movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

They said everything in that scene, that entire scene was. It was crazy.

[Cameron Esposito]

But also that banquet that he's having follows the banquet where they bring in a ton of food. A ton of food.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Crabs.

[Cameron Esposito]

Then they throw all the food on the ground. That's the beginning.

[Guest]

That just seems to be not right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, they kind of like, welcome, everybody. We're gonna have this great tournament where we fight to the death. It wasn't the dessert. It was literally they served. It flipped over every table. And then one fight happened where a guy just shot like an ice bolt at this guy. And that was it. And they're like, okay, and now everybody go to bed. Go to bed.

[June Diane Raphael]

Everybody go to bed. I'm the worst first night at hog warts. You know, when all the food arrived,

[Jason Manzoukas]

I thought it was like an Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom. It would be like monkey skulls. Monkeys. A monkey.

[Guest]

I guess that's what they were trying to show, like the cruelty of them not even getting in the food. And then this guy, you know, having that entire.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, I really was trying so hard and oftentimes to tell, like, who are the bad guys? Exactly?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know.

[June Diane Raphael]

What are their. What is their. Kano and Four Arms to me seem to be the henchmen for the main bad guy. But they were just meeting for the first time in that scene. So I was like, what the fuck is this? Who.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This only happens once a generation.

[June Diane Raphael]

And was the 10,000 year old woman a bad guy who was helping the good guys?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think that they were like, keep an eye on the 10,000 year old bad woman because she's the Only one who could possibly defeat me. So she was an ally. So they needed to use the. The clear CGI character, which was another amazing.

[June Diane Raphael]

We don't have this crumb character.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They have this like little reptilian, like this little lizard. And that's one of my favorite scenes in the movie when the main bad guy goes up to like a lizard statue. Like, keep your eye on her and take a look at her and like, you don't know what's going on.

[June Diane Raphael]

Then he fully exits frame so that the statue can come alive and be like. Like a many toothed, terrible monster.

[Cameron Esposito]

And it is. It is interesting just to go back to the Goro scene when he's like, introduced and you see him for the first time and they're eating and he's not eating because, like, obviously he's got great abs. So he probably is really restrictive.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, he.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, totally.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's just like a high. A very high protein. And he does work out twice a day.

[Guest]

And like before seven, you know, I think.

[Cameron Esposito]

Absolutely. But then also whenever they do close ups of his hands, what I love about his hands is that they look like like the exact same gloves that like the Ninja Turtles made. Totally wore in that Ninja Turtles. They're weirdly, the exact same fingers. I think they just sprayed them. I think they just sprayed them down. They were like, cut off one of those fingers. Cause I think the Ninja Turtles have four.

[June Diane Raphael]

Amazing.

[Cameron Esposito]

These guys have three. This guy has three. But otherwise it was like a real recycled look that I appreciated. I wish I could have seen him actually hold a drumstick.

[June Diane Raphael]

Also, when it's a man in, in the suit, he does this one move where he raises his arms above his head. And the two sets of arms are connected.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

So when he raises one set, the other set automatically goes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's very like, cheap costume design.

[June Diane Raphael]

And so they repeatedly go back to him and all he's doing is just raising his arms above his head. But like, the second set of arms is like very meekly following the first. It's amazing.

[Guest]

I have to say, I didn't feel like they used and capitalized off of those four arms. I mean, there was that fight scene,

[Jason Manzoukas]

but that fight scene, okay, so he's built up as this big guy.

[June Diane Raphael]

The first, he's like the unbeatable guy that they're like, oh, we're all gonna get killed by forearms.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And so Johnny Cage immediately just punches him in the dick.

[Guest]

And then is he wearing sunglasses at that point?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The glasses have been broken.

[June Diane Raphael]

At which point Christopher Lambert punches a guy in the arm. And he goes, yes. And then he goes, I'm sorry about that.

[Cameron Esposito]

And I felt like that was one of the biggest reveals of the movie was that Goro is anatomically correct. Because I was like.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was like, no way. This guy's got a dick.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But here's my issue.

[Cameron Esposito]

I didn't think so.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, he punches him in the dick and he goes down like, ooh. And then Goro is literally doubled over for, I would say, a good 15 to 20 seconds. Johnny Cage does nothing else. Like, the guy is bent over. He could just bam, bam, bam. He runs upstairs and decides to create this other plan of, like, running off a cliff. But it's like the guy. He has the upper hand and does nothing.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're absolutely right. It is a fight that is. There's so much buildup. I feel like, to Goro fighting any of our heroes, what we think as our heroes.

[Guest]

Oh, they're our heroes.

[June Diane Raphael]

They are ours. I think, you know, I feel a certain ownership of them. You know, Johnny, Liu, Kang, Sonia, Sonya.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Love them all.

[Cameron Esposito]

She's Katana, too.

[Guest]

I mean, she's ours.

[June Diane Raphael]

I couldn't tell exactly if she. But I felt like she was one anyway, so Johnny Cage is like, you know what? I'm gonna fight Goro. And they're like, what? You're gonna get killed. And he's like, I've got a plan. And his plan is punch him in the nuts and then lure him outside so you can throw him off a cliff. What?

[Jason Manzoukas]

And by the way, he didn't. It didn't seem like he knew that that cliff was there.

[June Diane Raphael]

The fight is such a letdown, by the way.

[Jason Manzoukas]

When you have somebody that injured, just go to town.

[June Diane Raphael]

Go to town.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But it's a fake.

[Cameron Esposito]

But it's supposed to see the device of somebody falling off a cliff. And then the shot from above, like, with the extra arms. We've seen it before. Like when the Beast fell off the tower. And Beauty and the Beast. Like, he only has spoilers.

[June Diane Raphael]

Spoilers for Beauty and the Beast?

[Cameron Esposito]

No, when Gaston falls off, he only has two arms. He's like a human person. This guy formed as, like, this kind of extra thing. It's nice.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And. And I love that they had the little callback there, because Johnny Cage, like, he's so upset with this movie that he's on because none of the extras are falling down at the right time.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he goes. Now you fall. And he gets to say it again to gom.

[Paul Scheer]

This show is sponsored by Better help. You ever wake up in the middle of the night with a stress dream that you haven't, or maybe you let someone down. You've been feeling overwhelmed and stuck and anxious and you don't know what to do. And guess what? That's okay. It's okay to be unsure. I mean, these feelings are a lot more common than we think. And since May is mental health awareness month, it is a good reminder that you don't have to go through those feelings alone. Whatever is keeping you up at night therapy with BetterHelp can help you check in with yourself and gain support from experienced professionals. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy therapy platform. All you gotta do is take a short questionnaire, identify your needs and Preferences and BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. You can feel confident knowing that BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the us you don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Bonkers that's better. H E L P.com you know what I hate? The way that your bed sheets kind of like slip off the corners of your bed and then all of a

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[Jason Manzoukas]

They're like, don't give me those other ones.

[June Diane Raphael]

We like these.

[Paul Scheer]

And here's the thing. You start with the signature sheets. You buy two sets so you can rotate them and I'm going to tell you, you're going to notice a difference difference right away. Okay, these sheets are perfect. So upgrade your sleep with bowl and branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free [e-mail] Bonkers with the code Bonkers. That's bowl and branch. B O L L a n d branch.com bonkers code bonkers to unlock 15 off exclusions apply. If you're trying to be more intentional about what you wear every Day Quint's can help you. Take it from me, I have been getting pieces from Quince that are just absolutely perfect. They are not only comfortable, but they feel stylish, too. The fabrics are elevated, the fits are clean. I'm talking about 100% European linen shorts and shirts from just $34. They're lightweight, they're breathable, and they are comfortable. I also love the way that they have their eye on everything that's popular right now, the fashion world. And you can get your own version of that, your Quint's version of that, because they are pricing everything 50 to 80% less than you would find anywhere else. And Quint works directly with ethical factories to cut out these middlemen. So you're getting premium materials without the markup. Honestly, I have been shopping there. Just check the receipts, people. You'll see me in public. I'm wearing Quints. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quint.combonkers for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada. That's Q U I n c e.com Bonkers for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Bonkers where do you think he

[Guest]

put all of his luggage? Johnny Cage.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, that was a great runner.

[June Diane Raphael]

Where did they stay? What were their barracks? What were their barracks like?

[Guest]

He brought no less than eight suitcases.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, like Louis Vuitton suitcases?

[Guest]

Louis Vuitton, like, square, boxy suitcase.

[Cameron Esposito]

It was like a Kate Winslet get to the Titanic situation.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But then. But that was the weird thing about that character. He alternated between being like, I am not just an actor. I'm a fighter. And then. But yet he was like, also like a diva Y actor at certain points, too. Like, I couldn't quite get a handle on it.

[Guest]

And I thought that that struggle within him was going like he was gonna have to come to terms with.

[Jason Manzoukas]

June, you brought me to one of my biggest points. This movie is all about. About inner demons versus outer demons.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, shit.

[Guest]

But he never really wrestled with that. He was never confronted with, like, his own vanity versus his, you know, wanting to be the real thing. Was he?

[Cameron Esposito]

Well, I think when the. I think when the woman is wearing the dress for some reason, again, June3.

[Guest]

Was he genuinely.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And guess what?

[June Diane Raphael]

We didn't make this movie. Stop yelling at us.

[Guest]

Sorry. Cause that would be how his character would finally come to terms with, well,

[June Diane Raphael]

Christopher Lambert tells them all what these demons are. What is holding them back from achieving, like, True excellence and being the best. And he goes one by one and is like, you are afraid that the prophecy is true, Liu Kang. You are afraid to be. Whatever he says to Johnny, he says to each one of them, and you're like, oh, okay. I guess they're all gonna have to individually conquer these weaknesses in order to be stronger. Nope, not really. Okay. Wait, what? The movie's over. Okay, great. I fucking hate this movie.

[Cameron Esposito]

That just made me think. I didn't realize this watching it, but now that we're talking about it, that means that, like, he came back. So the whole reason he's there is so he can talk to people about the tournament. Do you think he came back and he was like, you guys?

[Guest]

He would have seemed there.

[Cameron Esposito]

His acting career would have been over.

[Guest]

The tournament in the underworld, four arms

[June Diane Raphael]

down the tube, he calls his agent and he's like, get me an interview ASAP in the trade.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I took a fog boat with some new friends.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yep. I fought a man with four arms who fell off a cliff in a magical city.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And a man with a rice paddy hat told me my destiny was here.

[Guest]

The woman was 10,000 years old.

[Cameron Esposito]

I love thinking about those interviews and how well his career must have gone off. You're like, well, I guess he proved it, because before we didn't believe it, but now.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But it does prove that there were some people that seemed to be just there as spectators. Like, they were. They look like dads to me. Like, dads in jeans are, like, around. They didn't seem like they were a fighter.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey. Hey, Mitch. You. You go to the Mortal Kombat fight this weekend?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, it happens once every generation. My fucking wife will let me out

[June Diane Raphael]

of the house for one weekend. You gotta get out of the house. This is gonna be a pretty spectacular fight.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I gotta.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did you hear? Did you hear? Liu Kang is gonna be there?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Liu Kang?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yep.

[Jason Manzoukas]

His brother got killed by him.

[June Diane Raphael]

Gary, Pete, Luke, we're all gonna go. We're all team Liu Kang.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Southwest going there.

[June Diane Raphael]

Southwest does not. But Frontier does.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

We got a real great gig. Yep. It flies right into the fog, and you fly right out into the. No. Oceanic Flight 800.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Flight Fly. Oh, shit. I can't remember. 8:15. Thank you.

[Cameron Esposito]

When Goro shows up to that fight, they pan across this audience that you're talking about, and there's just. Most of them are wearing ninja outfits. There's one guy in a flannel.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was it. That was what I thought.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's what I saw.

[Cameron Esposito]

Please rewind it. I Rewound it twice. I love that as a lesbian, I have to always be on the look for flannels. Where are they at, how they play?

[June Diane Raphael]

I feel like, you know what it was? I feel like they were. They're like, rolling, Rolling. Oh, shit. Sound. Mikey, what are you doing? You know what? We're just gonna have to shoot him in there. He's like, what? I was miking over here. Just stay where you are. You're gonna be in this shot. Like a guy. Like a grip or something was just added to the movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You have to watch the fight scenes. And there are also in the front. They're like, right on the stage.

[Paul Scheer]

Here's.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now it's time for some facts that will, I think, blow your mind, because they blew mine. What do you think the budget of this movie was?

[June Diane Raphael]

$75 million.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. 1995.

[Guest]

1995.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, 95.

[Cameron Esposito]

$15 million.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Guest]

Yeah. I'm gonna say, like 40.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. $18 million.

[June Diane Raphael]

Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Weekend gross, opening weekend, 23 million.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Worldwide gross, $122 million. This movie, a giant hit. It was number one at the box office. It was a huge, huge movie. Now, here are some facts that also blow your mind.

[June Diane Raphael]

People who this movie is imaginary did never happen.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp were both considered for Johnny Cage. Considered, considered. Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz was cast as Sonya Bo, but broke her wrist before the filming started. Oh, Jesus.

[Cameron Esposito]

I can't believe that. You know, I would have as. You know, like, it's so nice whenever her name comes up, because, like, she is my namesake. I mean, she's only like two or three years older than me, but my parents, you know, renamed me when they heard about her from the mask, from. Well, actually, when she was in Seventeen magazine.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, nice.

[Cameron Esposito]

That was her first modeling job. I remember seeing it in the credits in the back. I was like, rename me this, please, mom and dad. So, Cameron Diaz, I can't believe you're not in this movie. It would have been so great to see all that underwear dancing that she's known for. She has so many underwear.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So now Cameron Diaz breaks her wrist. So then they hire Miss Teen USA, Kathleen McClellan. So they get her in the movie, she gets injured. And so then Bridget Wilson is the third person that they cast. Gregory McKinney replaced Steve James as Dax because he died. And then Brandon Lee was then cast as Johnny Cage, and then he died. Jean Claude Van Damme turned down Johnny Cage to do Street Fighter. And then, I don't know, I would

[June Diane Raphael]

have liked him in this as well.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I would have liked him in this. But here is the best fact of the whole movie. Now this goes back to what we talked about earlier. Apparently. Get ready for this. The snake and insect action was monitored by the American Humane association and commended the film for its responsible and sensitive treatment of even the smallest of Earth's creatures.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, God.

[Guest]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So this movie got a special commendation.

[June Diane Raphael]

Animals were treated well in a movie that was. Was about senseless murder.

[Cameron Esposito]

How do you treat a Wormwell?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I do not know.

[Cameron Esposito]

It's like decent dirt.

[June Diane Raphael]

You keep birds away from it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Obviously we had opinions about this movie,

[June Diane Raphael]

but especially if it's an early morning shoot. Cause those early birds, they really get those worms.

[Cameron Esposito]

I've heard that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And you can have no apples on set either. That's like cocaine.

[Cameron Esposito]

Do you keep a bird away from them? Is it like a dick punch? Do you think you punch the bird in its bird dick?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You just slap the.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know what? Maybe. Although I don't know how to immediately and rapidly tell the gender of a

[Jason Manzoukas]

bird, if you are a bird dick puncher, we want you on the show.

[June Diane Raphael]

If you know how to train birds, hopefully through abuse of their genitalia, to not go after worms, please give us a call. Once again, we're looking for you to clarify some things we have questions about.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, so obviously we have an opinion about this movie, but there is now time for a second opinion. Here, hit the theme song.

[June Diane Raphael]

These are second opinions from top to bottom. Crazy movies are fun.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, so these are five star reviews culled from Amazon. One of my favorite reviews of all time is coming up. It's a little bit long, but it's well worth it. Here we go. From Laura S. This is my childhood movie. They have some good fights and some really funny dialogue for understanding listeners.

[June Diane Raphael]

What does that even mean?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know. This movie made me interested in wisdom.

[June Diane Raphael]

What?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Good looks and martial arts wisdom. It made you interested in wisdom?

[Cameron Esposito]

Just interested in it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just interested. Wanna check out that wisdom that everyone's dug up?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, you know what I'm gonna do tomorrow? I'm gonna go to the library and I'm gonna look up wisdom. Also good looks.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Good looks.

[Cameron Esposito]

Do you think they misspelled wizards? Maybe that wizards.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, now I'm gonna read one other. So this one is one of the best video game movies ever made. If you never saw this movie before and you watch it now in 2011, you probably won't like it with its thin and you'll think it's cheesy. But if you Remember how sweet this movie was when it came out? And you remember Scorpion shooting his grappling hook out of his hand and ripping off his face to reveal a skull that breathes fire. Then this is for you. Five stars.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, God, I hope this person's at a better place in life.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now here's another one. The acting, the story, the special effects, everything is just perfect. My favorite scene is when Sonya does battle against Kano and we see how sexy she is with her nice breast. Five stars.

[June Diane Raphael]

Breasts. Singular.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Singular.

[Cameron Esposito]

You know, that scene did make sense.

[June Diane Raphael]

Singular breast with her nice breast.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We can see how she is sexy with her nice breast.

[Cameron Esposito]

I can't believe that's what they were. I mean, she's wearing black jean jeans.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's the short shots.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah, that's the fucking look in that scene.

[Jason Manzoukas]

By the way, the person who wrote this, their screen name is LB Worshiper. So Pound Worshiper? I don't know. Chubby Chaser.

[June Diane Raphael]

Now I maybe or a very big fan of Lorraine Bracco.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is much longer than a normal review, but I came across this one and I felt like it needs to be.

[Guest]

Read it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Do you want the Mortal Kombat music under you while you read it?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Maybe this distracting, but let's just.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, let's. Maybe we don't have to because it is very intense.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, here we go. This was written on December 26, 2011. So it was the day after Christmas from Caracas, Venezuela. Now I'll be reading it the way it was written. You'll understand why in just a moment. I was a fan of the first Mortal Kombat when it came out. And I remember playing it in my 386 when the movie was announced. Announced, I almost got an orgasm. And when it came out again in vhs, DVD was years from being commercial. I don't know what that means. I see the movie once and another and another time.

[Guest]

In fact, this is really bumming me out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

In fact, making an interstate trip on a bus, I convinced the girl that works on the bus attending passengers of put the movie on during travel. Yep. I carry the tape with. So he brought a VHS on a bus.

[Guest]

Puff. This is very dark.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. One day the tape broke up.

[June Diane Raphael]

This is a suicide note. I'm gonna be really upset.

[Jason Manzoukas]

One day the tape broke up. Yup. I see movie more than a hundred times and the tape got overused and broke. I cry a lot that day and even I have the broken tape with me. When movie came out on dvd, I was uber happy and bought it until I was robbed. They break on my house and take my DVD player with disc inside. Of course I bought it. And again and even today when his effects are really lame compared with actual I still enjoy a lot of this movie. The end was great too. And when I see it I was stunned looking that there will be a second part but as this time you must know it was but stay away from that unless you are a collectionist of MK stuffs. Buy it but don't watch it because then you will not get desires but you must punch somebody. Don't know what that means. I think he's basically saying the second movie is not I was happy when

[Guest]

I bought the is a sequel to this.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. Called Mortal Annihilation which is what we were going to do. But I assured that we couldn't do that until we saw this one. I was happy when I bought the

[June Diane Raphael]

Remember at the end when they're like oh, the.

[Guest]

Well, I figured. But I didn't know. I knew that that's what it was setting up but I couldn't imagine it was made.

[Cameron Esposito]

It felt like it could have fallen through the cracks.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, it came out many years later. All right, so here's the end of it. Here it goes. I was happy when I bought the dvd. And I see it has Spanish subtitles because as you must know now from reading my review, my English stinks. But not so much as mk2 slam on mk2.

[June Diane Raphael]

Amazing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So I only buy DVDs that have Spanish subtitles and it's like some divinity. Don't want me to throw my money away. The MK2 movie has not subtitles and I can't really remember what to do with my VHS tape. I really want to believe that I threw that one out the window. Five stars. I don't. This is one of the craziest reviews.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's pretty intense.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's intense. And where is he going?

[June Diane Raphael]

I wanna know where he's going on that bus.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's on an interstate trip with a VHS copy, convinces someone to get it, finds out it's gonna be on dvd. This after he finds out the movie's coming out, he has an orgasm. Then he gets the dvd. His house is robbed, the DVD is stolen.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's a harrowing tale.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then he finds out about the sequel. He kind of slams the sequel. And then he just wants to let you know that this is a good DVD because it does have Spanish subtitles.

[Cameron Esposito]

And please don't forget that he watched that tape so much that it broke.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It broke.

[Cameron Esposito]

He broke

[June Diane Raphael]

anything. I have not watched anything enough that A tape would have broken.

[Guest]

I remember getting worried that my VHS tape of Anne of Green Gables was going to go. Yeah, like that. It was actually because.

[June Diane Raphael]

Was that. But was that something also that you, like, taped off of television?

[Guest]

No, that was given to me.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was for sale. Okay. Cause I remember thinking that about things that I had, like, taped off of television, but you couldn't get. Like, I used to tape Saturday Night Live, and I would be afraid that something would happen.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I used to fix tapes, open up

[June Diane Raphael]

the top, and you bring in.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Guys, this is the classic time. Anything that we missed, anything that we want to talk about, anything. I feel like we covered a lot of it. The one thing I feel like I would be remiss if we didn't talk about is that one scene in the beginning when. When Liu Kang decides to go fight in the tournament. Monks murmur. He's like, I'm gonna fight that tournament. And the monk's like, ooh, I think monks should not be gossiping amongst each other. That seemed like an odd thing for monks to do to kind of have a little coffee pot.

[June Diane Raphael]

This movie was so bad.

[Cameron Esposito]

I think that my favorite part of this movie is that whatever that guy's name is, Liu Kang, is fighting the big bad guy, and the big bad guy turns around about two feet from him and then turns back around, and he's his brother.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

If you watch this movie for any reason, fast forward to that part just so that you can see Liu Kang go, wait a minute. I don't think you're my brother. He just saw him transform.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Cameron Esposito]

And still in his mind.

[June Diane Raphael]

You watched him transform in his mind,

[Cameron Esposito]

There's a chance that that is really his brother. And the brother tries to prove it by saying a line that will live with me for the rest of my life, which is, remember when our parents died? If the movie had ended on that, I would have been a five star review myself.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You would have written it on Christmas Day.

[Cameron Esposito]

I would have written it on Christmas.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, my God. That was a great little reveal, too. Oh, man. The brother, the dead brother. None of it pays off. None of would you guys recommend. Now, here's the thing. This movie's on itunes and you can't even rent it.

[June Diane Raphael]

No itunes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You could easily.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's $15.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I paid 9 bucks on iTunes for it.

[June Diane Raphael]

How did you pay 9?

[Jason Manzoukas]

It was only 9 bucks on iTunes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think it was. I think I paid 15 on iTunes.

[Cameron Esposito]

You didn't get. You got high definition.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Cameron Esposito]

So I bet it looked better. I Bet it looked.

[June Diane Raphael]

It looked amazing. If amazing looks like garbage.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So would you guys recommend watching this movie?

[June Diane Raphael]

Never once, ever in your life.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think you could fast forward and find some fun stuff.

[Cameron Esposito]

I think if you can just find that scene of the brother, that's gonna stick with you.

[Guest]

And also that flannel guy. I'm actually interested in going back to stage Christopher Lambert.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think his movie is bad.

[June Diane Raphael]

Guys. There's no movement in this movie. The fights are lateral and boring.

[Cameron Esposito]

I don't necessarily believe in piracy, but somebody should pirate that section and put on the Internet and then all of our problems.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, it's also like, you know, I mean, this brings a whole thing. It's like making a movie out of a video game. They're separate things. Like, I think you can make a video game out of a good movie, but, like, also trying to do something cool. Like when Liu Kang's move in the video game is like, he flies forward and his legs are kicking really fast. But in this movie, when he's flying forward, he's like, almost. He's sitting and his legs are just moving. Like, really. It's not impressive. It's almost anything, but it seems like almost like a sketch. Like, you would see it on the Saturday Night Live.

[June Diane Raphael]

I feel like if you're gonna watch this at this point, watch the Raid Redemption. Watch, like, a really good martial arts fighting combat movie that would be like. Or any of, like, the Tony Jaa movies or something.

[Cameron Esposito]

I'd recommend Haywire if you like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, sure.

[Cameron Esposito]

Watch Haywire in this movie. Why don't you go watch a real MMA lady, take some people down to study.

[June Diane Raphael]

Great. Love it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Does she have a sense of humor?

[Cameron Esposito]

She's a terrible actor, but, hey, what the heck? She was on American Gladiators, the reboot.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, this is between.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cameron.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What do you have that you want to plug and tell us about?

[Cameron Esposito]

So I have two podcasts of my own, and folks like this, I also do an action and sci fi movie podcast.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's what I didn't know about this,

[Cameron Esposito]

called Wham, Bam, Pow. And that's why I said this is in my wheelhouse. I fucking love this shit. The end.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What else we got, guys? Anything? Jason, you still in the dictator?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, I'm just getting word now that I'm still in it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, good.

[June Diane Raphael]

That is.

[Guest]

It's great, though.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, yeah. But my voice has now been dubbed.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But your body is still in it.

[June Diane Raphael]

My body is still in it, but I've been told that my voice has been entirely dubbed.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, that's okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's all business, but with a dog's bark.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

So my character has now been reduced to being an animal in the movie, apparently. But I haven't watched it, so I don't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's an interesting performance. My comic book, Alien vs Parker, is coming out on February 4th. The trade paperback, read them all in one situation. June, what the fuck do you want to talk about?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. June, did you want to yawn on mic?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Don't you have a DVD coming out?

[Guest]

Oh, yeah. Ask Backwards is out on DVD January 28th and available on itunes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There you go.

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, I'll also say go see Ride Along.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Jason Manzoukas, writer of Ride Along, a huge, huge hit.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, it is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Giant hit.

[June Diane Raphael]

Giant hit now. Weird.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you gonna be riding around like a helicopter fueled by champagne at this point?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you think I got here? It is not a good technology.

[Cameron Esposito]

Is that actually true?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I did write a version of it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You wrote the first version, right?

[June Diane Raphael]

I wrote the middle version.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I flipped out because I walked by one of those big bus ads and I saw your name on the thing. I was like, wait, what? I texted you immediately and did not hear you talk about it. We vacation together and didn't even hear you mention it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nope.

[Guest]

You are a mystery.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, guys.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right.

[June Diane Raphael]

But check it out on my Twitter.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, you do not have a Twitter.

[June Diane Raphael]

I still don't have Twitter.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But how did this get made as a Twitter? You can follow us at hdd, whatever, you know, the initials of the fucking show. I'm on Twitter.

[Guest]

Paul Shear is Junedianne.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah. And I'm Ameron Esposito.

[June Diane Raphael]

Great on Twitter.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, that wraps up the show. And a big thanks to everyone that helps us out here at Earwolf. Brett, our engineer, our amazing people online. Avril Haley, who pulls all of our clips. She's amazing. Nate Kiley does a lot of the research, getting in deep on the Wikipedia pages. Leanna Waldron, designing cool shit that goes on our Facebook pages every single fucking day. And Katie Dyer, who runs our official how did this get made Twitter. That's right. We have a How did this get made Twitter? You know that it's hdtgm. Hdtgm.

[June Diane Raphael]

Did I say that right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think I did. All right, so that's all I'm gonna say for the end of the show. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Thank you, everybody here at Earwolf. We'll see you next time.

[Guest]

Bye.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bye. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Guest]

Hey, everyone.

[Cameron Esposito]

Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.

[June Diane Raphael]

We're married.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Cameron Esposito]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty Liberty.

[Cameron Esposito]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

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[June Diane Raphael]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

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[June Diane Raphael]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

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