
MORTAL KOMBAT! Comedian Cameron Esposito enters the fighting arena with Paul, June, and Jason to dissect 1995's Mortal Kombat, the stinker movie adaptation of the beloved video game. They discuss the anticlimactic fight with Goro, Christopher Lambert's wig, and how the mortals are unfazed by the supernatural. Plus, we learn about June's relationship with video games, find out Jason's thoughts on the soundtrack, and hear an amazing Second Opinion review. (Ep. #81 Originally Released 01/28/2014)
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Paul Scheer
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Jason Manzoukas
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June Diane Raphael
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Cameron Esposito
Not just be a hater.
Jason Manzoukas
Did you know you wonder how did this remain?
June Diane Raphael
Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art.
Cameron Esposito
Perhaps we'll find the answer to the
Jason Manzoukas
question how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to how did this get Made? I am Paul Scheer, joined as always by Jason Manzikis. How are you, Jason?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, boy. Fine, I guess.
Jason Manzoukas
Just watch this movie and June, Diane Rayfield.
Paul Scheer
How are you, June?
Guest
I'm good. How are you, Paul?
Jason Manzoukas
Very good. We have a very special guest today. Please welcome Cameron Esposito.
Paul Scheer
How are you, Cameron?
Cameron Esposito
Oh, I'm feeling great. I mean, this movie is like in my wheelhouse, so I'm very excited. Thanks for choosing this one for me.
June Diane Raphael
June, do you want to reveal to the audience what you just said as we were putting the mics on? And I said, I feel like let's try and recreate it.
Jason Manzoukas
I said, well, maybe, maybe we could do this. We could actually just play. Because we did. Roll it. Let's just roll.
June Diane Raphael
What just happened in. I didn't play this game.
Cameron Esposito
I never played it either.
Jason Manzoukas
Fuck.
Cameron Esposito
We're all. But I did do the research to try. Just be like, you know, what is this a thing in the. You know, so it's pretty cross referenced.
Guest
Didn't know there was a game. Okay, so there it was.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, so there it was. And what we just realized is that June went through this whole movie not realizing it was based on a video game.
Guest
Well, to be fair, I did write down at one point, this sounds like a video game.
June Diane Raphael
Sounds like a.
Guest
Sounds like the noises. The sounds.
Cameron Esposito
Some of it actually is when reptile comes in. That's actually from the game.
Guest
Okay.
Cameron Esposito
Cause it does sound like you nailed it.
Guest
It does sound like the. Of a video game. Like even what you just played.
June Diane Raphael
No, but the thing. Is that song familiar?
Guest
Mortal Kombat. Those words together sound familiar.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, they sounded like something.
Cameron Esposito
But you just remembered them from fighting to the death, right?
Guest
I don't remember my own personal experience,
Cameron Esposito
general experience of fighting to the death.
Guest
I did know that's a familiar phrase or saying, I just didn't know. I'm laughing because I didn't know where it was from.
June Diane Raphael
Wait, you didn't know? But so in your mind, Mortal Kombat, you were. You just thought, well, this is a very large cast of characters, and it seems to be nothing but mano e mano fight sequences.
Guest
I have a lot. I sat down and said, guys, I don't even know what to say about this movie.
Jason Manzoukas
You stormed out of our living room three times going, this movie irritates me. And you walk out.
Guest
I had a very bad reaction to it. I didn't know what it was.
June Diane Raphael
We get it. You guys have a living room now.
Jason Manzoukas
I will say we wanted to. I know a lot of people out there will be upset, like, oh, come on. Well, you don't know the game. And the game. And I played this game. Not so much that I would know all these details, but enough that I understand it. But screw you guys who are gonna be upset about this. It's a movie. It's a movie.
June Diane Raphael
We're judging it from. And here's the thing. If you have particular fondness for this movie because it pushes a button of love for you of playing this game, I need you to understand this movie is very bad.
Cameron Esposito
This movie is like, you love this game. You should actually kind of hate this movie, because now I never played this game either. But I did know what I did live in the world at the time.
Guest
And that's fair. And that's fair.
Jason Manzoukas
I mean, this is at like every roller skating rink growing up.
June Diane Raphael
It's like a big arcade game.
Guest
They were words that sounded familiar.
Cameron Esposito
It was like duck hunt. Then like that rampage game where you turn into a bigger ape. You know, if something.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, that was a good one. I like that.
Guest
But here's what I'm realizing.
Jason Manzoukas
I mean, to bring us back to June, One of her most famous quotes. You don't really even understand Street Fighter. And you didn't understand that that was a game.
Guest
No, that was a game. Now, my relationship to video games growing up.
June Diane Raphael
What do you know about video games?
Guest
My next door neighbor had Nintendo. And the games I played were the game where you had to cross the street in a little. A frog crossed the street with Frogger.
Jason Manzoukas
That's not an intender.
June Diane Raphael
Why did you let her off the hook way too fast? Was it an Atari?
Guest
It was an entari. It was not an.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, I want to go back to what you described. A frog that was in a cart.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
Now I want to go back. Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
Did you think when you were playing that the frog was also in a cart, just going perpendicular to traffic?
Guest
I knew there were frogs and carts. I couldn't remember exactly how they related
June Diane Raphael
Frog or what was the other game?
Cameron Esposito
The best games on Nintendo. Also, that Sonic the Hedgehog game was pretty good.
Guest
You didn't play that. I didn't play that. I've heard of Sonic the Hedgehog.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, you have?
Guest
I played Frogger. I've played Oregon Trail. I've played.
Jason Manzoukas
Which I know that's not a Nintendo game.
Guest
Okay. No, that's on the computer.
June Diane Raphael
I played solitaire.
Guest
Those are the two games that I have played, and I'm Mario Brothers. I have played those games. When I went to an arcade or, you know, some sort of event with roller skates, whatever, I would see the video games. I wouldn't even go to near zombie.
Cameron Esposito
Really?
Jason Manzoukas
Why?
Guest
I wasn't interested.
Jason Manzoukas
This is why you get so angry when you see things like Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto. Because you've gone from Oregon Trail to Grand Theft Auto 5.
Guest
That's a part of life like I'd never had any interest in.
June Diane Raphael
I spent days, weeks worth of my life getting quarters and playing in an arcade. When I grew up, you could go to Paladin, an arcade in my area, with your report card, and they would give you a doll, dollars worth of tokens for every A you got.
Guest
Wow. Well, that's kind of great.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest
I mean, I played pinball machines.
Jason Manzoukas
Wait, wait. What do you want? You want a cookie for That I
Guest
think of other things that are.
June Diane Raphael
Like when you're at the pizza place waiting.
Guest
Yes. Ski ba.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, so you're into like old timey fare.
Jason Manzoukas
Like you, you played one of those video games where you put the coin in and you, you spin the dial and you see a moving picture. Like that's a video game that you like.
June Diane Raphael
Or like you put a quarter in and just like a dances in the.
Guest
Yeah, I'm 72 years old.
June Diane Raphael
I don't get with your newfangled games.
Guest
These words sounded familiar to me. Mortal Kombat. But I didn't know what. I didn't know where the source material
Cameron Esposito
was about the video game fans being mad is because the whole thing with that game was that it was super violent. It was like the first mega violent game and they had the spine rip. There's a spine rip move in there
Jason Manzoukas
and yeah, you could rip out a head and the spine would be dangling.
Cameron Esposito
I think actually that game is the reason that games have ratings. I think that's.
Jason Manzoukas
I think you are right. And this, this movie was originally to be an R rated movie so they could embrace the one thing that is defining about it, which is the violence of the game.
Guest
So the basic premise of the movie where mortals are fighting creatures who have magical powers.
Jason Manzoukas
I would say that this is a
Guest
part of the premise of the game.
Jason Manzoukas
I would say that this is part of the movie that I'm a little bit unsure of as a game player. I felt like there was a tournament, but it seemed like there were certain people who were not. The tournament didn't seem like the rankings. I couldn't follow a ranking system. I was like, oh, now they're out. But did they win?
June Diane Raphael
Did they move off versus bad guys?
Jason Manzoukas
But yet they were all there.
June Diane Raphael
Couldn't tell who. Like why were the. Why were the people who were brought arbitrarily good guys or bad guys?
Jason Manzoukas
Right.
June Diane Raphael
And I'm assuming then that some of the good guys killed other good guys, I think in the beginning round.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, to me it's like I feel like this movie was missing that chart that they had in the Karate Kid where they kind of just moved up the name LaRusso. So you got to see what was happening here. There was no rankings or like a
Cameron Esposito
round robin or like a bracket sort
Guest
of a tournament thing.
Jason Manzoukas
At one point sang some. The bad guy, he was like, well,
June Diane Raphael
oh, the guy from Iron Chef.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
Did anybody else think that he was just like the host of Iron Chef? Like that guy. They both overact so much in the most hilarious way every time he would get up and make those big declarations. It's like at the beginning of Iron Chef where the guy tells everybody what the secret ingredient is. Not America. Not America' cause that's the guy's nephew. But the original Iron Chef where the guy had such dramatic flair. This guy was. That guy.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, this guy was amazing because also when he said something in the movie he would do this, he'd be like, well, now if you win this match, I can either challenge you or I can challenge someone else. Well, that's not a good effective tournament. That doesn't mean anything.
June Diane Raphael
Everybody just gets to make shit up.
Cameron Esposito
I think the mortal part also really comes into play because there's a couple times when the person does not die and then the tsang tsum just comes
Jason Manzoukas
in and sucks their soul out.
Cameron Esposito
Well, I'll go ahead and clear this up.
Jason Manzoukas
Basically, he always is winning. Cause Sang Tsum is like. He basically is. If I'm mispronouncing it, I'm sorry. But like, he just. So he gets all the souls regardless. No matter who wins in these fights, he's collecting souls.
June Diane Raphael
What I couldn't understand was, was he collecting souls in order that he. In order to make himself unbeatable so that if it got down to it and he needed to fight to win
Jason Manzoukas
the 10th victory clearly happened.
June Diane Raphael
He has at his disposal all of this sorcery. He can recall the souls that he's stolen to fight on his behalf.
Jason Manzoukas
I want to talk to this stuff. I know we don't normally jump ahead, but at the end, when he does have to call up all the souls, I do love that they all kind of pop out of the ground through little circles like a Britney Spears concert or something. They all are shooting up from beneath the stage. And I was like, I wish I was on set for that day when these big muscle bound men were forced to be shot through holes. Like, it did not go well.
Cameron Esposito
That was the best part of last year's super bowl is when Beyonce was joined. And it was exactly like that moment for me. Like, I can't believe Destiny's Child is here, back from the dead.
Jason Manzoukas
And there's a little bit of a stutter step because you're being rocketed into the air. And the worst, they are being shot through like fake brick.
June Diane Raphael
Yes.
Guest
But here's what I don't understand. So when he would take. I don't know any of these characters names, I didn't understand.
June Diane Raphael
And it was harder too because they. They didn't say them ever. Just Kidding. Everybody called everybody by their first and last name in every occurrence in the.
Jason Manzoukas
When Lord Raiden came on, they said, Lord Raiden about a mil. If you did a drinking game. Every time they said the name Raiden,
Guest
any of them to memory, but. So when that guy was stealing, was taking souls.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Guest
Were those people then dead to never be heard from again? Or did they then become his? Because of what I thought was happening, I'm sure this is all in the video game again.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, no, no, we gotta treat this like a movie. We're treating it like a movie.
Guest
Was that those people were becoming his, like, sort of slave army. That was.
Jason Manzoukas
But that was unclear too, because it's pretty confusing. Cause Sub Zero and Scorpion were under his spell.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
You mean the guys that ripped their faces off to reveal skeleton heads full of bugs and worms?
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, those guys.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, they also. Oh, cool. Got it. Yeah, those guys who were from Halloween 3, who also had faces of bugs and worms.
June Diane Raphael
I think a real potent image, I guess, is like a head that opens and erupts into bugs and worms.
Cameron Esposito
I always think about, like, who is the bug handler? That's like, gotta get on set. I could make that morning and just be like, hey, the roach is on top of the worm. But for continuity, we need worm on roach. So if you could just get in here then.
Jason Manzoukas
You need somebody in the skull, though, going like, they need some sort of push more through. We gotta get him out. We got him. He's like, just shoving him.
Cameron Esposito
It's like that Play DOH spaghetti thing, you know, where you, like, shoot the Play DOH out.
June Diane Raphael
I do think, and I'm willing to say this now, that we should have an episode where we interview a Hollywood bug man.
Jason Manzoukas
If you are a Hollywood bug man. Please.
Guest
You animal wranglers. I can't believe I'm gonna go on record and say this, but they're usually. They're strange.
June Diane Raphael
Well, I'm sorry, You can't believe you're gonna go on record as saying Hollywood animal wranglers are strange people.
Guest
They are. It's a certain personality that I'm gonna
Jason Manzoukas
say 90% of the time. They are not animal trainers. They are animal owners that just happen to, like, want their animal. We have a snake trainer in the league and they're like, oh, you can't train a snake. Their training. A snake was hitting it with a stick and the snake was, like, vomiting and shitting all over the floor.
Cameron Esposito
I was on a Marin episode where they had a cat wrangler and. Let me. Allow me to Throw something out there. She had a belt on and on. Part of the utility belt was just a little like a tiny Pringles can sort of a thing. And it was rewrapped in brown paper, and it said on it, like, liver snaps. And so she not only put it onto a belt, but she also labeled it.
Jason Manzoukas
She's like a Batman. She's a Batman ring.
June Diane Raphael
She's a Catman Cat man. Catwoman Cat.
Cameron Esposito
Little liver snip area. That was labeled. That's how I knew it was labeled.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, she didn't want to be reaching for liver snaps when she was reaching for something else. Oh, yeah.
Guest
That's confusing.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah. No, but to be fair, if you handle bugs for a living and you're a fan of the show and want to come on and tell us what's up with that, please, come on.
Jason Manzoukas
We will talk to you.
June Diane Raphael
We want to know.
Jason Manzoukas
I will also talk about. This movie came out in 1995, and it was at the beginning of CGI, which is amazing because it's before people have, like, learned how to cue, like, react to it appropriately. Because CGI in this movie, like, the way they're reacting is not mimicking what is actually happening. It's really like if something is, like, flying by their face, like, whoa.
June Diane Raphael
Oh.
Jason Manzoukas
Like, their reactions are so big, and
Cameron Esposito
it's so cool to see. Well, I love. I love, like, effects stuff. And what I love about this is Goro's character.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
Is Goro the two forearms.
Paul Scheer
Many arms.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah. Old forearms.
June Diane Raphael
That's what I called him in my notes.
Cameron Esposito
I call him old forearms. And he. They clearly use, like. Because it's just the beginning of cgi, they clearly use a bunch of different methods to make him, like, some shots where it's just like, an arm in front of the camera being like, hey, can you just get that arm over here? And then, like, there's other shots where it's clearly a guy standing on another guy's shoulders. And there's just so many composite. There's like. I think there's maybe even Claymation.
June Diane Raphael
There's definitely. Ray Harryhausen was definitely involved.
Jason Manzoukas
So the miniatures in this are amazing, kind of different.
Cameron Esposito
And I love that from this time period is. It's, like, very. It's.
Jason Manzoukas
It's.
Cameron Esposito
Terminator 2 did it the best, but this is like a time period where they're trying to smash a couple things together.
Jason Manzoukas
It's, like, right where Clash of the Titans meets Terminator 2. It's sort of like they just don't know which side to go On. But I want to talk about Goro, the forearm guy. He is. You're led to believe that this is a character. I know we're going out of order,
June Diane Raphael
but is there an order? It's just a series of fights.
Guest
If I hear that story. There's no narrative.
June Diane Raphael
One more time, I will put a bullet in my head.
Jason Manzoukas
That was this song of all time.
June Diane Raphael
This is 80% of the movie.
Jason Manzoukas
I wanted to play for a 90%
June Diane Raphael
this and, like,
Jason Manzoukas
Get over here mentality.
June Diane Raphael
And it's just. It was insanity. At a certain point, I was like, you can't just play this song and have fights. Create a movie.
Jason Manzoukas
I want more. Like when that, like, it almost. I got excited in my house because I was like, yeah, because at least gave me some energy.
Cameron Esposito
I can't believe I don't listen to that song when I'm at the gym.
Jason Manzoukas
I want every. Oh, I want. It's the best song of all time.
Cameron Esposito
You are wrong.
June Diane Raphael
You guys are very, very wrong.
Cameron Esposito
I think that they wrote that song ahead of time.
Guest
The.
Cameron Esposito
The Whoever put that. It's like somebody actually. Yeah, that's Lords of Acid or something.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, it is a.
Guest
That song is not in the video game.
Cameron Esposito
That is like, their song. And then they put in the. The Mortal Comet scream. Like how when Bruce Springsteen. Mortal Kombat, that song that's in whatever the fuck that movie is with. What the fuck is that movie where Tom Cruise leaves the. And then Renee passed away, goes with it doesn't matter. But they put the sound effect shell versus the volcano and, like, ruined. That's their story. And now forever, for the rest of their lives. I couldn't stop thinking about, like, if you made that song. And then now the only thing people remember is, like, they're gonna scream that in your fucking face for the rest of your life.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, here is one thing. I will tell you that that album went platinum. The Mortal Kombat soundtrack went platinum in less than two weeks.
Cameron Esposito
For sure. It did.
June Diane Raphael
Why?
Jason Manzoukas
Because everyone loved it.
Cameron Esposito
I'm buying it now.
June Diane Raphael
I'm willing to say that song was terrible.
Jason Manzoukas
It was great.
June Diane Raphael
It was exhausting is what it was.
Jason Manzoukas
All right, so I want to talk. Oh, go ahead.
Guest
I was gonna ask, as a fan of the video games, did you guys like the video game?
Jason Manzoukas
I loved the video game I didn't play.
Guest
You never played.
Jason Manzoukas
I loved the video game because it
Guest
was satisfying to me.
Jason Manzoukas
No, no, not at all. No, it was not satisfying as two people squared off.
June Diane Raphael
It's like a button smasher.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
And you just do different combinations. And it's like.
Guest
And
Jason Manzoukas
the cool thing about the video game from my remember, my memory of it was it was like, it was video. So, like, the characters were not, like animated. They were like, they brought in, like, actors, and so they were real people. And that was like a cool thing. Like, so the world looked very much like a video game, but the characters looked like real people.
June Diane Raphael
What's the difference between this and Final Fantasy? Wasn't that the same?
Jason Manzoukas
Final Fantasy is a whole different thing. Like Tekken.
June Diane Raphael
What was the other two person Street Fighter. Oh, Street Fighter.
Jason Manzoukas
So Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were like.
June Diane Raphael
So these were competing enemy games. Okay, got it.
Jason Manzoukas
Got it now. But.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, everybody is flipping out right now.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, they're mad. How the fuck do you not know what this is?
June Diane Raphael
Do some fucking research out there. Do some research. Guys. Talk to me when they make a game out of Pitfall.
Jason Manzoukas
A movie or a movie about a
Paul Scheer
frog in a car.
June Diane Raphael
Oh. Or a Qbert movie.
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Guest
Let me ask a quick question.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, yeah.
Guest
What was Sonia? Was her name Sonia or Sasha?
June Diane Raphael
Sonia.
Guest
What was their occupation in the real world?
Cameron Esposito
Special forces.
June Diane Raphael
Sonia is like a policeman. She's got the shotgun in the beginning.
Cameron Esposito
It is confusing why their job description involves because it feels like maybe they work for the government, but like deep ops, where you just run into space where you're just like, my job is to run at this ship.
Jason Manzoukas
I have the video.
Cameron Esposito
Don't have any connection to anybody else, which I never really asked anybody. I've heard questions where she's her boss,
Jason Manzoukas
but her boss, the guy that she's with, the guy she's with who doesn't get on the boat. When she runs towards the boat, he goes. He literally says it in this tone of voice like, hey, Sonia, don't get. Don't get on the boat.
June Diane Raphael
So, like, oh, well, oh, well, there she goes.
Cameron Esposito
Maybe he's the guy that has to go back to their boss just like, I don't know.
Guest
She ran into some men.
Jason Manzoukas
She got into a fog boat.
Guest
Why did the other guy. Sorry, don't know any of their names. Why did the other guy want to fight her so badly?
June Diane Raphael
Metal face.
Guest
Not metal face. I don't know, by the way.
Jason Manzoukas
Just you want to know. This is from the Mortal Kombat Wiki. Sonya Blade is a female soldier who's a member of the earthrealm's special forces unit known as the Outer World Investigation Agency, the oia. And so she. She's sort of like a DEA agent of the Outer World.
Cameron Esposito
Like a Men in Black, sort of a predictive guy.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
June Diane Raphael
What?
Cameron Esposito
Okay, that's really so.
Guest
But when the other guy says, I don't want you to harm her. I just want you to humiliate her.
June Diane Raphael
Oh. Oh, you mean. What was that about the head bad guy? The bad guy,
Cameron Esposito
like a rape setup going on there?
Jason Manzoukas
Really.
Guest
Really. Just over the top of her humiliation.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, they took her out of her short shorts, which she was fighting in her short shorts. And then they kind of dressed her in, like, a princess outfit for no real.
June Diane Raphael
Couldn't figure that out. But I was like, did he. Was he softening her up so he could blast her? What's the deal?
Guest
Didn't it. Something was very wrong about that.
June Diane Raphael
Well, and then the friends come and save her, and the guy who's been flirting with her the whole time goes, nice chest. Nice chest.
Jason Manzoukas
No, no, he says, nice dress.
Guest
Dress.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, I thought he said, nice chest.
Jason Manzoukas
Nice dress.
June Diane Raphael
And I. I thought to myself, who on earth says chest? Who would be like. Instead of saying, like, nice tits or whatever, who would be like, hey, nice chest?
Jason Manzoukas
I will say that this is my issue with that character. Everyone that was there was a fighter of some kind, right? And they were all really. But everyone was protecting her. Like, oh, let's not beat her up. Let's not touch the girl. But she was a fucking very good fighter.
June Diane Raphael
They brought her there because she was a good fighter.
Guest
At least she punches in the face.
Cameron Esposito
Like, that's nice to see when there's a chance. I do think, though, like, she is like, she did the Angelina Jolie variety of.
Guest
Yeah, but that's what I had a problem with, because she was really. All of a sudden, she was like this woman in distress who had been
June Diane Raphael
running such a badass the whole time. I agree.
Guest
And she was screaming and flailing about like it was very strange.
Jason Manzoukas
And by the way, if you want to know who Was up for this role originally.
Paul Scheer
Sharon Stone.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh.
June Diane Raphael
And who was the woman that played it?
Jason Manzoukas
This is actually Pete Sampras. Wow. Her name is Bridget Wilson Sampras. And Dina Meyer. Also from Battlefield. Or was it called Starship Troopers? Those are the two that turned it down.
Cameron Esposito
Do you guys recognize her from Billy Madison?
Jason Manzoukas
Yes. That's who I remember.
Cameron Esposito
Billy Madison. That was a formative person.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, yeah.
Cameron Esposito
Like the hot chicken. Veronica.
Guest
Come on.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. She was like, like. And. But by the way, she seems so humorless to me as a character. Like, like at one point they make a joke like, about. I wrote it down. Like, she's always taking Johnny Cage's jokes as being, like, serious.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, she doesn't get humor.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
Like, apparently her partner was killed by Kano.
Jason Manzoukas
Right?
June Diane Raphael
Her partner's killed by Kano. And from that point forward, she only has a bloodlust for revenge and cannot entertain jokes, cannot crack a smile. All she wants, she will shoot up a nightclub. She will do whatever it takes to kill Kano. And then she snaps his leg, his neck with her leg. And I was like, this is some cold ass shit right here.
Cameron Esposito
I feel like it's more like an anti feminist. Like, women that fight are not fun. Like, they're not nice to you. They're not nice.
June Diane Raphael
I agree.
Guest
And I felt like they shot that fight scene in. I mean, I did appreciate that she got punched in the face a few times.
June Diane Raphael
Me too.
Guest
But they really did shoot it in like these weird close ups that like, you never really saw her.
June Diane Raphael
No, no. And I slowed it down, by the way, because I wanted to see him connect. She did all.
Jason Manzoukas
All of her own fights, all of her own stuff.
Guest
And that showed, though.
Cameron Esposito
But how could you have slowed it down? Because the fight sequences in this part were already suspended.
June Diane Raphael
Are also the most. I disagree.
Cameron Esposito
Most telegraphed punches.
Jason Manzoukas
That was so crazy to me. Cause, yeah, they would always slow it down. I was like, but you're not doing anything when she flips over that guy. I was like, why are you slowing down this flip? It's not like she's moving so quickly.
Cameron Esposito
Many people were able to duck. That was a big move to get away also.
June Diane Raphael
And every punch is very easily blocked because it is set up and then ventured very slowly executed.
Cameron Esposito
And like the special kind of magical moves they give them, like plenty of time to set up where it's like, I'm calling to the gods, Ice thing is forming in my hands. Like, stay over there and look at it with your eyes.
June Diane Raphael
Can I ask this? Why wasn't any of The. Why weren't any of the mortals, like, why wasn't Johnny Cage. Johnny Cage or Liu Kang or Sonya or any of these people surprised when there was a four armed man? When people could summon. When people could summon electricity?
Jason Manzoukas
I mean, as far as we know, this is not a world that they were accustomed to. Like, Johnny Cage was not like, oh, I know there's an other world. And by the way, it wasn't also made clear if the boat was in the air because there was so much fog, or if they were on the water.
June Diane Raphael
Do you know when he looks and the compass is going crazy or whatever? Do you think they were on the Lost Island?
Jason Manzoukas
I thought they were on the Lost Island. John Locke was one of the fighters.
June Diane Raphael
How fucking awesome would it have been on Lost if they just walked by and, like, there was a Mortal Kombat happening in the background?
Jason Manzoukas
The others were just like all those other.
June Diane Raphael
If, like the man in black and Titus Welliver. Or Titus Welliver and the other guy there, when you flash back to them, they are just mortal combatants.
Jason Manzoukas
It was never a polar bear. It was sub zero the entire time.
Guest
Well, it did seem like even if they didn't know this world existed, they were very used to the idea of, like, magic and powers. And, like, that wasn't new information for anyone.
June Diane Raphael
But I think it was new information.
Guest
I think it was supposed to be too, but it should have been.
Jason Manzoukas
They were so jaded.
Cameron Esposito
No, you guys, you could tell that they were surprised because of their sassy jokes. You know, like, whenever Johnny Cage was like, that's just how he interprets the world. He's just like, oh, this again. I gotta carry my bags. We see other worlds.
Jason Manzoukas
Johnny Cage is my favorite character. And his love relationship with Sonya was not ever set up right. I mean, they had, like a couple.
Guest
I think what they wanted was that, like, Sam and Diane type of, you know.
Jason Manzoukas
But then all of a sudden, he's like, I will never let. I'll never let you get out of my sight. And I was like, wait, what just did we miss like a 5?
Guest
I want to talk about him.
June Diane Raphael
You belong to me now.
Guest
Woman throwing his autographed picture at the end of that fight. Now he had.
June Diane Raphael
How about wearing the sunglasses to the other fight?
Jason Manzoukas
Those are five.
Cameron Esposito
How about.
Guest
See, this was during a time, though. I feel like in like the early 90s, there was this real sort of like a lot of actors in movies were portrayed as just the worst douchebags in the world. Like, that was during that time where it was like you were a Movie star in a movie, playing a movie star.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, you were, you were getting handled. Pretty horrible person.
Cameron Esposito
We also need to go back to the fact that the whole reason he's there is because he like, definitely reads tabloid articles about himself.
June Diane Raphael
Even like the tabloid articles in like, Chinese.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes, the tabloid article. What he is, his character's arc is that the tabloids are saying that he is a fake, a fake karate fighter. He's like, I can't stand it. I'm a good karate fighter. And that's why he goes, can I actually play this clip from the movie? When his master comes to tell him to fight in this tournament, you'll get a sense of the movie. Here, take a listen. I see the press is still giving you a hard time. Yeah, they think I'm a fake. Johnny, you're one of the best martial artists in the world. And I can help you prove it.
Cameron Esposito
Prove it how?
Jason Manzoukas
A tournament. The tournament that's held once a generation. The best fighters in the world are invited. You win the tournament, you win the respect. They'll tell the entire world that you're the real goods. That is the premise. That's pretty much.
Guest
I wish though, at the end of the movie we. We had seen, you know, printing presses putting out some new articles. It seemed like the word was gonna get out.
June Diane Raphael
Maybe in the sequel. Maybe in the sequel.
Jason Manzoukas
The sequel does pick up right after this movie. I wanna just before we get away from Johnny Cage. Cause there's something very important. Did you guys notice anything about that director that was directing the movie? Anything?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, yes.
Jason Manzoukas
Who did it look like?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, the director. Yeah, Steven Spielberg.
Jason Manzoukas
Right. Now, did you be very surprised to know that apparently Steven Spielberg is a big Mortal Kombat fan and was supposed to make an appearance as the director in the movie, but scheduling conflicts forced him to back out at the last minute. So he was lined up. Steven Spielberg could have been in this movie.
June Diane Raphael
Unbelievable.
Cameron Esposito
I wonder if he's bummed listening to this show right now. He listens, right?
Jason Manzoukas
He listens every time.
Cameron Esposito
You know, I also think that somebody should tell Johnny Cage about pr. You know what I mean? Just like, just like let him clue him in, you know, like you can get people that. Because he's kind of going for this like, kind of word of mouth element. Yeah, that I feel like, you know,
Guest
it's like invite some reporters on set and just have them watch you actually do it. Because he is actually.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, there's nothing about, like, it's very easy to prove that you're not a fake.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah. Do an ex karate do. Like a martial arts expo, right?
Guest
Anything show people.
Jason Manzoukas
Really? Anything?
June Diane Raphael
Almost anything.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. That would be the only that rule would be the easiest to fight or
June Diane Raphael
to be honest enter a difficult to locate and or prove exists otherworld fighting competition that nobody is aware.
Cameron Esposito
With no specific name.
Guest
Right to be tournament. In the hopes that the people there will then spread the word.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah, they're gonna talk about it.
June Diane Raphael
But for all intents and purposes that is impossible as everyone will be dead.
Jason Manzoukas
Two.
June Diane Raphael
Except for the one winner. In theory.
Jason Manzoukas
To be fair to this film, it's a long need. We will say that the guy was a face shifter. Oh yeah. It was actually sang some who came there and pretended to be his old man.
June Diane Raphael
He was tricking all of these people into coming to fight by appealing to their problems.
Guest
Still, the problem went remains the same.
Jason Manzoukas
Well look, if your teacher, if your sensei told you there was a thing you might go. You may not ask him too many questions.
June Diane Raphael
How come none of the guys from Cobra Kai were there?
Cameron Esposito
They're not the best fighters.
Jason Manzoukas
But again, this is my question and this is maybe infuriating people at home. Is there a reason I don't understand like you would? My idea would be that there'd be somebody from every realm and then whoever won the tournament would then be able to take over all the realms.
June Diane Raphael
You're now kind of describing the plotline of Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction's Iron Fist series, which is multiple realms. Each have a fighter and all those fighters have to fight each other.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
June Diane Raphael
And they all have have special powers about which which pertain to each of their places of origin.
Jason Manzoukas
Got it.
June Diane Raphael
Which is kinda like a better version of this.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
June Diane Raphael
Kinda like Last Airbender, which was again one of the worst movies we've ever seen in our entire lives.
Guest
Yeah.
Cameron Esposito
I think we could even take this one step back though.
Jason Manzoukas
Just.
Cameron Esposito
Even the way that the people in this movie are delivering the word fighter makes that sound like it is a baby. Did anybody was anybody? Cause they'd be like, he's a great fighter. In the movie the fighter. That sounds like a tough thing to be.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah.
Cameron Esposito
In this movie it sounds like a vague description of nothing.
Jason Manzoukas
Where are they fighting?
Cameron Esposito
He's a fighter. He's a fighter.
Guest
He's gonna fight.
Jason Manzoukas
And it's also such a weird assemblage of people like an actor. I don't know what John.
June Diane Raphael
A special ops person.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. What? Liu Kang? I don't really understand what he does besides tucking shirts into jeans.
June Diane Raphael
Oh my God. But we have yet to touch upon who I found to be the most bizarre person in this movie, which was.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes, yes, yes.
June Diane Raphael
I mean, there's a fucking Highlander in this movie.
Jason Manzoukas
And he. Lord Raiden. What's going on?
Guest
Who is he?
Jason Manzoukas
Is he cross eyed? No.
Cameron Esposito
Well, it would be hard to know if he's cross eyed Cause you can't stop thinking about his accent. You can't focus on his face.
June Diane Raphael
I can't tell if he has an
Cameron Esposito
accent where he's from.
June Diane Raphael
Talking baby talk the whole time.
Guest
It was such a. It was a fascinating performance though. Like really, I will give him this. I really could not take my eyes off of it.
June Diane Raphael
Tell me more.
Guest
Every time he was on screen. Cause I really did have trouble paying attention to this movie. And I'm so. I'm a little lost on a lot of this because it really just didn't hold my attention. But when he came on screen, I
Jason Manzoukas
was, well, he's always popping up. He's always popping into everybody's conversations and then he's presenting stuff and he's like,
Paul Scheer
ah, you're finally learning.
Jason Manzoukas
But he's never presenting any. Like, like everyone.
June Diane Raphael
Like at a certain point I was like, oh, he's gonna train them. He doesn't train them. At a certain point I was like, oh, he's gonna be the Obi Wan Kenobi. Like he's gonna have to fight the big bad guy. Like the, like Vader and Obi Wan's fight and sacrifice himself. Nope.
Guest
He like disappears for the character in the video game.
Cameron Esposito
Yes, yes. Yeah.
Guest
What does he do in the video game?
Jason Manzoukas
Shoots those lasers are his thing.
Cameron Esposito
Or like the lightning.
Guest
Oh, so he does fight.
June Diane Raphael
He has laser eyes.
Cameron Esposito
Do you think any part of your fixation with him has to do with his unusual hairline? Because I think he has one of the more unusual hairlines in movie. Dumb. Like it's kind of a Frankenstein. Yeah, but like any movie you've ever. No, that's his name.
Jason Manzoukas
But that's somebody's job to make a wig look good. I mean, you can't just chalk it up.
June Diane Raphael
The look on June's face for the line, that was a wig though, was priceless.
Guest
That was a wig though, sweetheart.
June Diane Raphael
That was a wig.
Cameron Esposito
His. I mean, I don't really know what's going on with his hair, but I will say, have seen the Highlander series.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Cameron Esposito
It's as confusing.
Jason Manzoukas
I agree with this.
June Diane Raphael
Should we do Highlander on this show?
Jason Manzoukas
I think we should definitely do Highlander on this show.
June Diane Raphael
Should we just do every Christopher Lambert movie?
Jason Manzoukas
That should be our live show.
June Diane Raphael
Also married to Diane Lane for a very long time.
Guest
I love Diane Lane.
Jason Manzoukas
My issue about him, too, is that clearly Raiden, or at least when I played the game, was an Asian male, hence the rice paddy hat.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
And I feel like anyone else wearing a rice paddy hat is offensive. I do feel like. I don't feel like.
Guest
Also, the wig was like. It's. It's definitely a wig.
Cameron Esposito
Listen, that could be a wig or not. I mean, but, like, you think you
Guest
could grow that length? I think you grew that out.
Cameron Esposito
No, not in thickness.
June Diane Raphael
Welcome back to Wig Talk with June. Diane Rayfield.
Jason Manzoukas
If you have done a wig for Christopher Lambert, we want to have you on the show.
June Diane Raphael
You know what? If you're a working Hollywood wig artist and have worked with Nicolas Cage, Christopher
Jason Manzoukas
Lambert, or John Travolta.
Guest
But I do see what you're saying, which is that the wig is following and mimicking a hairline that's already there.
Cameron Esposito
But it's just pretty shocking. It's pretty straight across in a way. That hair, you know, doesn't ever grow.
Jason Manzoukas
There is something amazing I want to talk about, and this, I think, kind of sums up his character. So Raiden is this character who. Who is the mentor, the Mr. Miyagi, of this, who gives no information. Mr. Miyagi, you can at least look back and go, oh, well, he. The wax on, wax off, taught him this. Everything that Christopher Lambert said doesn't make any sense. The best thing I think, that sums up this whole character is at the very end of the movie, what he says to these characters that just had a battle to the death. Here, take a listen. I've got to tell you something. You guys did great.
Cameron Esposito
Come to me.
June Diane Raphael
What is it?
Jason Manzoukas
The Emperor. Weak, pathetic fools. I come from your souls. I don't think so. This is a big, violent action movie. And he just basically goes, you guys. You guys are so good. I'm so proud of you guys. Great job. It's such an unclimactic ending of a movie.
Cameron Esposito
It's like the ruffling of the hair almost you buddies. And it gives him legit.
June Diane Raphael
And he has the kind of opinion where he's kind of like, I always knew you could do it.
Jason Manzoukas
I don't want to.
June Diane Raphael
But it's like, no, you've had nothing. He didn't really assemble these people. He has nothing to do with their success. No, he didn't train them, nor did he impart anything of particular value.
Guest
He trained one of them. I thought he trained Liu Kang. Yeah. Didn't he?
Jason Manzoukas
No, it's not.
June Diane Raphael
I couldn't tell.
Jason Manzoukas
I mean. And by the way, that was how the movie was supposed to end, with him just going, I gotta tell you guys something. You did great credits. And then they added on a little bit more because I think it tested so poorly that they were like, whoa, you can't end.
Guest
We'll end. All those children ran out.
Jason Manzoukas
Where were those.
Guest
Where did those kids.
Jason Manzoukas
Was that school a school let out on the same. On this crazy, mysterious island in Bizarro Land. Like, I'm again, I'm not quite sure if this island existed on Paris.
Guest
Maybe for the kids who were gonna spread the word about maybe the actors.
June Diane Raphael
Well, he's got that army on the islands and they've gotta fuck something, so there must be concubines. And those girls get pregnant and those kids no doubt become like the next wave of like the slave army. It's like the army that Khaleesi hides.
Jason Manzoukas
So that's the baby. The baby of the Khaleesi.
Cameron Esposito
You could cut a nipple, right? I did.
Guest
Like Princess Katana, anyone?
June Diane Raphael
Yeah. Yeah.
Cameron Esposito
I thought it was pretty confusing.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Cameron Esposito
That she fought. What's his name?
June Diane Raphael
Liu Kang.
Cameron Esposito
Little puff hair.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Cameron Esposito
And then nothing happened. How was that not. They fought for a second, but it was not when she was telling him.
June Diane Raphael
Wait, when she was telling him, like, what to do.
Jason Manzoukas
There are some things.
Cameron Esposito
What was going on there?
Jason Manzoukas
That's the other thing I have an issue with. Sometimes they're tournament fights and other times they're just fighting and like, it's like, oh, like when that army attacks the three of them and they're kind of snooping around the mysterious mountain, like, that's not a fight. That's on record. That's sort of like an extracurricular fight.
Guest
And why did they keep on saying that it was going to be. There were going to be terrible consequences if she got together with. What is it?
June Diane Raphael
Didn't they also say she was 10,000 years old?
Guest
Yeah, she's 10,000 years old.
Jason Manzoukas
What?
Guest
Oh, she was looking great.
Cameron Esposito
Her wig was great. You know what I mean?
Guest
Like, straight wig work.
Jason Manzoukas
Wasn't a wig.
June Diane Raphael
Wig that. She is 10,000 years old.
Jason Manzoukas
You don't know how supernatural powers affect. It could be the opposite way, you know, maybe like Mork and Mindy. Jonathan Winters was a very. As a baby, but he's an old man.
June Diane Raphael
That's interesting. Rip. Jonathan Winters.
Paul Scheer
Rip.
Jason Manzoukas
Can we talk about the set design a little bit, too? All the sets look like. Like a crazy, shitty.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, how about the Crazy stairs. That Johnny, what's his name, fights yellow guy. Yellow guy in yellow suit.
Cameron Esposito
I think this looks like a he man playset that you had at your house that they were like, does anybody have anything they could bring in? Cause our budget is low.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, it was like, this is somebody who makes a home haunt. It looks pretty good. It's like, we'll put some purple light here. You can't really tell that's a refrigerator.
June Diane Raphael
The great survivals stuff that looks like cobwebs and a couple of fake skeletons.
Guest
The most upsetting thing was when that guy was eating the chicken wing.
June Diane Raphael
The cyborg guy?
Guest
Yeah, the turkey leg, whatever the hell. That was disgusting.
Cameron Esposito
I hate miked food.
June Diane Raphael
I found that. I found that really sexy, actually, the
Guest
amount of food on that table. And why was he by himself and not at the banquet?
Jason Manzoukas
Well, because that was a scene where they needed to send up all the exposition of the entire movie.
June Diane Raphael
They said everything in that scene, that entire scene was. It was crazy.
Cameron Esposito
But also that banquet that he's having follows the banquet where they bring in a ton of food. A ton of food.
Jason Manzoukas
Crabs.
Cameron Esposito
Then they throw all the food on the ground. That's the beginning.
Guest
That just seems to be not right.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, they kind of like, welcome, everybody. We're gonna have this great tournament where we fight to the death. It wasn't the dessert. It was literally they served. It flipped over every table. And then one fight happened where a guy just shot like an ice bolt at this guy. And that was it. And they're like, okay, and now everybody go to bed. Go to bed.
June Diane Raphael
Everybody go to bed. I'm the worst first night at hog warts. You know, when all the food arrived,
Jason Manzoukas
I thought it was like an Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom. It would be like monkey skulls. Monkeys. A monkey.
Guest
I guess that's what they were trying to show, like the cruelty of them not even getting in the food. And then this guy, you know, having that entire.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, I really was trying so hard and oftentimes to tell, like, who are the bad guys? Exactly?
Jason Manzoukas
I don't know.
June Diane Raphael
What are their. What is their. Kano and Four Arms to me seem to be the henchmen for the main bad guy. But they were just meeting for the first time in that scene. So I was like, what the fuck is this? Who.
Jason Manzoukas
This only happens once a generation.
June Diane Raphael
And was the 10,000 year old woman a bad guy who was helping the good guys?
Jason Manzoukas
I think that they were like, keep an eye on the 10,000 year old bad woman because she's the Only one who could possibly defeat me. So she was an ally. So they needed to use the. The clear CGI character, which was another amazing.
June Diane Raphael
We don't have this crumb character.
Jason Manzoukas
They have this like little reptilian, like this little lizard. And that's one of my favorite scenes in the movie when the main bad guy goes up to like a lizard statue. Like, keep your eye on her and take a look at her and like, you don't know what's going on.
June Diane Raphael
Then he fully exits frame so that the statue can come alive and be like. Like a many toothed, terrible monster.
Cameron Esposito
And it is. It is interesting just to go back to the Goro scene when he's like, introduced and you see him for the first time and they're eating and he's not eating because, like, obviously he's got great abs. So he probably is really restrictive.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, he.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, totally.
June Diane Raphael
It's just like a high. A very high protein. And he does work out twice a day.
Guest
And like before seven, you know, I think.
Cameron Esposito
Absolutely. But then also whenever they do close ups of his hands, what I love about his hands is that they look like like the exact same gloves that like the Ninja Turtles made. Totally wore in that Ninja Turtles. They're weirdly, the exact same fingers. I think they just sprayed them. I think they just sprayed them down. They were like, cut off one of those fingers. Cause I think the Ninja Turtles have four.
June Diane Raphael
Amazing.
Cameron Esposito
These guys have three. This guy has three. But otherwise it was like a real recycled look that I appreciated. I wish I could have seen him actually hold a drumstick.
June Diane Raphael
Also, when it's a man in, in the suit, he does this one move where he raises his arms above his head. And the two sets of arms are connected.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
June Diane Raphael
So when he raises one set, the other set automatically goes.
Jason Manzoukas
It's very like, cheap costume design.
June Diane Raphael
And so they repeatedly go back to him and all he's doing is just raising his arms above his head. But like, the second set of arms is like very meekly following the first. It's amazing.
Guest
I have to say, I didn't feel like they used and capitalized off of those four arms. I mean, there was that fight scene,
Jason Manzoukas
but that fight scene, okay, so he's built up as this big guy.
June Diane Raphael
The first, he's like the unbeatable guy that they're like, oh, we're all gonna get killed by forearms.
Jason Manzoukas
And so Johnny Cage immediately just punches him in the dick.
Guest
And then is he wearing sunglasses at that point?
Jason Manzoukas
The glasses have been broken.
June Diane Raphael
At which point Christopher Lambert punches a guy in the arm. And he goes, yes. And then he goes, I'm sorry about that.
Cameron Esposito
And I felt like that was one of the biggest reveals of the movie was that Goro is anatomically correct. Because I was like.
June Diane Raphael
I was like, no way. This guy's got a dick.
Jason Manzoukas
But here's my issue.
Cameron Esposito
I didn't think so.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, he punches him in the dick and he goes down like, ooh. And then Goro is literally doubled over for, I would say, a good 15 to 20 seconds. Johnny Cage does nothing else. Like, the guy is bent over. He could just bam, bam, bam. He runs upstairs and decides to create this other plan of, like, running off a cliff. But it's like the guy. He has the upper hand and does nothing.
June Diane Raphael
You're absolutely right. It is a fight that is. There's so much buildup. I feel like, to Goro fighting any of our heroes, what we think as our heroes.
Guest
Oh, they're our heroes.
June Diane Raphael
They are ours. I think, you know, I feel a certain ownership of them. You know, Johnny, Liu, Kang, Sonia, Sonya.
Jason Manzoukas
Love them all.
Cameron Esposito
She's Katana, too.
Guest
I mean, she's ours.
June Diane Raphael
I couldn't tell exactly if she. But I felt like she was one anyway, so Johnny Cage is like, you know what? I'm gonna fight Goro. And they're like, what? You're gonna get killed. And he's like, I've got a plan. And his plan is punch him in the nuts and then lure him outside so you can throw him off a cliff. What?
Jason Manzoukas
And by the way, he didn't. It didn't seem like he knew that that cliff was there.
June Diane Raphael
The fight is such a letdown, by the way.
Jason Manzoukas
When you have somebody that injured, just go to town.
June Diane Raphael
Go to town.
Jason Manzoukas
But it's a fake.
Cameron Esposito
But it's supposed to see the device of somebody falling off a cliff. And then the shot from above, like, with the extra arms. We've seen it before. Like when the Beast fell off the tower. And Beauty and the Beast. Like, he only has spoilers.
June Diane Raphael
Spoilers for Beauty and the Beast?
Cameron Esposito
No, when Gaston falls off, he only has two arms. He's like a human person. This guy formed as, like, this kind of extra thing. It's nice.
Jason Manzoukas
And. And I love that they had the little callback there, because Johnny Cage, like, he's so upset with this movie that he's on because none of the extras are falling down at the right time.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, yeah, right.
Jason Manzoukas
And he goes. Now you fall. And he gets to say it again to gom.
Paul Scheer
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Jason Manzoukas
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June Diane Raphael
We like these.
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Guest
put all of his luggage? Johnny Cage.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, that was a great runner.
June Diane Raphael
Where did they stay? What were their barracks? What were their barracks like?
Guest
He brought no less than eight suitcases.
June Diane Raphael
Wait, like Louis Vuitton suitcases?
Guest
Louis Vuitton, like, square, boxy suitcase.
Cameron Esposito
It was like a Kate Winslet get to the Titanic situation.
Jason Manzoukas
But then. But that was the weird thing about that character. He alternated between being like, I am not just an actor. I'm a fighter. And then. But yet he was like, also like a diva Y actor at certain points, too. Like, I couldn't quite get a handle on it.
Guest
And I thought that that struggle within him was going like he was gonna have to come to terms with.
Jason Manzoukas
June, you brought me to one of my biggest points. This movie is all about. About inner demons versus outer demons.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, shit.
Guest
But he never really wrestled with that. He was never confronted with, like, his own vanity versus his, you know, wanting to be the real thing. Was he?
Cameron Esposito
Well, I think when the. I think when the woman is wearing the dress for some reason, again, June3.
Guest
Was he genuinely.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
And guess what?
June Diane Raphael
We didn't make this movie. Stop yelling at us.
Guest
Sorry. Cause that would be how his character would finally come to terms with, well,
June Diane Raphael
Christopher Lambert tells them all what these demons are. What is holding them back from achieving, like, True excellence and being the best. And he goes one by one and is like, you are afraid that the prophecy is true, Liu Kang. You are afraid to be. Whatever he says to Johnny, he says to each one of them, and you're like, oh, okay. I guess they're all gonna have to individually conquer these weaknesses in order to be stronger. Nope, not really. Okay. Wait, what? The movie's over. Okay, great. I fucking hate this movie.
Cameron Esposito
That just made me think. I didn't realize this watching it, but now that we're talking about it, that means that, like, he came back. So the whole reason he's there is so he can talk to people about the tournament. Do you think he came back and he was like, you guys?
Guest
He would have seemed there.
Cameron Esposito
His acting career would have been over.
Guest
The tournament in the underworld, four arms
June Diane Raphael
down the tube, he calls his agent and he's like, get me an interview ASAP in the trade.
Jason Manzoukas
I took a fog boat with some new friends.
June Diane Raphael
Yep. I fought a man with four arms who fell off a cliff in a magical city.
Jason Manzoukas
And a man with a rice paddy hat told me my destiny was here.
Guest
The woman was 10,000 years old.
Cameron Esposito
I love thinking about those interviews and how well his career must have gone off. You're like, well, I guess he proved it, because before we didn't believe it, but now.
Jason Manzoukas
But it does prove that there were some people that seemed to be just there as spectators. Like, they were. They look like dads to me. Like, dads in jeans are, like, around. They didn't seem like they were a fighter.
June Diane Raphael
Hey. Hey, Mitch. You. You go to the Mortal Kombat fight this weekend?
Jason Manzoukas
Well, it happens once every generation. My fucking wife will let me out
June Diane Raphael
of the house for one weekend. You gotta get out of the house. This is gonna be a pretty spectacular fight.
Jason Manzoukas
I gotta.
June Diane Raphael
Did you hear? Did you hear? Liu Kang is gonna be there?
Jason Manzoukas
Liu Kang?
June Diane Raphael
Yep.
Jason Manzoukas
His brother got killed by him.
June Diane Raphael
Gary, Pete, Luke, we're all gonna go. We're all team Liu Kang.
Jason Manzoukas
Southwest going there.
June Diane Raphael
Southwest does not. But Frontier does.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, okay.
June Diane Raphael
We got a real great gig. Yep. It flies right into the fog, and you fly right out into the. No. Oceanic Flight 800.
Jason Manzoukas
Do it.
June Diane Raphael
Flight Fly. Oh, shit. I can't remember. 8:15. Thank you.
Cameron Esposito
When Goro shows up to that fight, they pan across this audience that you're talking about, and there's just. Most of them are wearing ninja outfits. There's one guy in a flannel.
Jason Manzoukas
That was it. That was what I thought.
June Diane Raphael
That's what I saw.
Cameron Esposito
Please rewind it. I Rewound it twice. I love that as a lesbian, I have to always be on the look for flannels. Where are they at, how they play?
June Diane Raphael
I feel like, you know what it was? I feel like they were. They're like, rolling, Rolling. Oh, shit. Sound. Mikey, what are you doing? You know what? We're just gonna have to shoot him in there. He's like, what? I was miking over here. Just stay where you are. You're gonna be in this shot. Like a guy. Like a grip or something was just added to the movie.
Jason Manzoukas
You have to watch the fight scenes. And there are also in the front. They're like, right on the stage.
Paul Scheer
Here's.
Jason Manzoukas
Now it's time for some facts that will, I think, blow your mind, because they blew mine. What do you think the budget of this movie was?
June Diane Raphael
$75 million.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. 1995.
Guest
1995.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, 95.
Cameron Esposito
$15 million.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Guest
Yeah. I'm gonna say, like 40.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. $18 million.
June Diane Raphael
Really?
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. Weekend gross, opening weekend, 23 million.
June Diane Raphael
Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
Worldwide gross, $122 million. This movie, a giant hit. It was number one at the box office. It was a huge, huge movie. Now, here are some facts that also blow your mind.
June Diane Raphael
People who this movie is imaginary did never happen.
Jason Manzoukas
Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp were both considered for Johnny Cage. Considered, considered. Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz was cast as Sonya Bo, but broke her wrist before the filming started. Oh, Jesus.
Cameron Esposito
I can't believe that. You know, I would have as. You know, like, it's so nice whenever her name comes up, because, like, she is my namesake. I mean, she's only like two or three years older than me, but my parents, you know, renamed me when they heard about her from the mask, from. Well, actually, when she was in Seventeen magazine.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, nice.
Cameron Esposito
That was her first modeling job. I remember seeing it in the credits in the back. I was like, rename me this, please, mom and dad. So, Cameron Diaz, I can't believe you're not in this movie. It would have been so great to see all that underwear dancing that she's known for. She has so many underwear.
Jason Manzoukas
So now Cameron Diaz breaks her wrist. So then they hire Miss Teen USA, Kathleen McClellan. So they get her in the movie, she gets injured. And so then Bridget Wilson is the third person that they cast. Gregory McKinney replaced Steve James as Dax because he died. And then Brandon Lee was then cast as Johnny Cage, and then he died. Jean Claude Van Damme turned down Johnny Cage to do Street Fighter. And then, I don't know, I would
June Diane Raphael
have liked him in this as well.
Jason Manzoukas
I would have liked him in this. But here is the best fact of the whole movie. Now this goes back to what we talked about earlier. Apparently. Get ready for this. The snake and insect action was monitored by the American Humane association and commended the film for its responsible and sensitive treatment of even the smallest of Earth's creatures.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, God.
Guest
Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
So this movie got a special commendation.
June Diane Raphael
Animals were treated well in a movie that was. Was about senseless murder.
Cameron Esposito
How do you treat a Wormwell?
Jason Manzoukas
I do not know.
Cameron Esposito
It's like decent dirt.
June Diane Raphael
You keep birds away from it.
Jason Manzoukas
Obviously we had opinions about this movie,
June Diane Raphael
but especially if it's an early morning shoot. Cause those early birds, they really get those worms.
Cameron Esposito
I've heard that.
Jason Manzoukas
And you can have no apples on set either. That's like cocaine.
Cameron Esposito
Do you keep a bird away from them? Is it like a dick punch? Do you think you punch the bird in its bird dick?
Jason Manzoukas
You just slap the.
June Diane Raphael
You know what? Maybe. Although I don't know how to immediately and rapidly tell the gender of a
Jason Manzoukas
bird, if you are a bird dick puncher, we want you on the show.
June Diane Raphael
If you know how to train birds, hopefully through abuse of their genitalia, to not go after worms, please give us a call. Once again, we're looking for you to clarify some things we have questions about.
Jason Manzoukas
All right, so obviously we have an opinion about this movie, but there is now time for a second opinion. Here, hit the theme song.
June Diane Raphael
These are second opinions from top to bottom. Crazy movies are fun.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, so these are five star reviews culled from Amazon. One of my favorite reviews of all time is coming up. It's a little bit long, but it's well worth it. Here we go. From Laura S. This is my childhood movie. They have some good fights and some really funny dialogue for understanding listeners.
June Diane Raphael
What does that even mean?
Jason Manzoukas
I don't know. This movie made me interested in wisdom.
June Diane Raphael
What?
Jason Manzoukas
Good looks and martial arts wisdom. It made you interested in wisdom?
Cameron Esposito
Just interested in it.
Jason Manzoukas
Just interested. Wanna check out that wisdom that everyone's dug up?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, you know what I'm gonna do tomorrow? I'm gonna go to the library and I'm gonna look up wisdom. Also good looks.
Jason Manzoukas
Good looks.
Cameron Esposito
Do you think they misspelled wizards? Maybe that wizards.
Jason Manzoukas
All right, now I'm gonna read one other. So this one is one of the best video game movies ever made. If you never saw this movie before and you watch it now in 2011, you probably won't like it with its thin and you'll think it's cheesy. But if you Remember how sweet this movie was when it came out? And you remember Scorpion shooting his grappling hook out of his hand and ripping off his face to reveal a skull that breathes fire. Then this is for you. Five stars.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, God, I hope this person's at a better place in life.
Jason Manzoukas
Now here's another one. The acting, the story, the special effects, everything is just perfect. My favorite scene is when Sonya does battle against Kano and we see how sexy she is with her nice breast. Five stars.
June Diane Raphael
Breasts. Singular.
Jason Manzoukas
Singular.
Cameron Esposito
You know, that scene did make sense.
June Diane Raphael
Singular breast with her nice breast.
Jason Manzoukas
We can see how she is sexy with her nice breast.
Cameron Esposito
I can't believe that's what they were. I mean, she's wearing black jean jeans.
Jason Manzoukas
That's the short shots.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah, that's the fucking look in that scene.
Jason Manzoukas
By the way, the person who wrote this, their screen name is LB Worshiper. So Pound Worshiper? I don't know. Chubby Chaser.
June Diane Raphael
Now I maybe or a very big fan of Lorraine Bracco.
Jason Manzoukas
This is much longer than a normal review, but I came across this one and I felt like it needs to be.
Guest
Read it.
June Diane Raphael
Do you want the Mortal Kombat music under you while you read it?
Jason Manzoukas
Maybe this distracting, but let's just.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, let's. Maybe we don't have to because it is very intense.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, here we go. This was written on December 26, 2011. So it was the day after Christmas from Caracas, Venezuela. Now I'll be reading it the way it was written. You'll understand why in just a moment. I was a fan of the first Mortal Kombat when it came out. And I remember playing it in my 386 when the movie was announced. Announced, I almost got an orgasm. And when it came out again in vhs, DVD was years from being commercial. I don't know what that means. I see the movie once and another and another time.
Guest
In fact, this is really bumming me out.
Jason Manzoukas
In fact, making an interstate trip on a bus, I convinced the girl that works on the bus attending passengers of put the movie on during travel. Yep. I carry the tape with. So he brought a VHS on a bus.
Guest
Puff. This is very dark.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. One day the tape broke up.
June Diane Raphael
This is a suicide note. I'm gonna be really upset.
Jason Manzoukas
One day the tape broke up. Yup. I see movie more than a hundred times and the tape got overused and broke. I cry a lot that day and even I have the broken tape with me. When movie came out on dvd, I was uber happy and bought it until I was robbed. They break on my house and take my DVD player with disc inside. Of course I bought it. And again and even today when his effects are really lame compared with actual I still enjoy a lot of this movie. The end was great too. And when I see it I was stunned looking that there will be a second part but as this time you must know it was but stay away from that unless you are a collectionist of MK stuffs. Buy it but don't watch it because then you will not get desires but you must punch somebody. Don't know what that means. I think he's basically saying the second movie is not I was happy when
Guest
I bought the is a sequel to this.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes. Called Mortal Annihilation which is what we were going to do. But I assured that we couldn't do that until we saw this one. I was happy when I bought the
June Diane Raphael
Remember at the end when they're like oh, the.
Guest
Well, I figured. But I didn't know. I knew that that's what it was setting up but I couldn't imagine it was made.
Cameron Esposito
It felt like it could have fallen through the cracks.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, it came out many years later. All right, so here's the end of it. Here it goes. I was happy when I bought the dvd. And I see it has Spanish subtitles because as you must know now from reading my review, my English stinks. But not so much as mk2 slam on mk2.
June Diane Raphael
Amazing.
Jason Manzoukas
So I only buy DVDs that have Spanish subtitles and it's like some divinity. Don't want me to throw my money away. The MK2 movie has not subtitles and I can't really remember what to do with my VHS tape. I really want to believe that I threw that one out the window. Five stars. I don't. This is one of the craziest reviews.
June Diane Raphael
It's pretty intense.
Jason Manzoukas
It's intense. And where is he going?
June Diane Raphael
I wanna know where he's going on that bus.
Jason Manzoukas
He's on an interstate trip with a VHS copy, convinces someone to get it, finds out it's gonna be on dvd. This after he finds out the movie's coming out, he has an orgasm. Then he gets the dvd. His house is robbed, the DVD is stolen.
June Diane Raphael
It's a harrowing tale.
Jason Manzoukas
And then he finds out about the sequel. He kind of slams the sequel. And then he just wants to let you know that this is a good DVD because it does have Spanish subtitles.
Cameron Esposito
And please don't forget that he watched that tape so much that it broke.
Jason Manzoukas
It broke.
Cameron Esposito
He broke
June Diane Raphael
anything. I have not watched anything enough that A tape would have broken.
Guest
I remember getting worried that my VHS tape of Anne of Green Gables was going to go. Yeah, like that. It was actually because.
June Diane Raphael
Was that. But was that something also that you, like, taped off of television?
Guest
No, that was given to me.
June Diane Raphael
It was for sale. Okay. Cause I remember thinking that about things that I had, like, taped off of television, but you couldn't get. Like, I used to tape Saturday Night Live, and I would be afraid that something would happen.
Jason Manzoukas
I used to fix tapes, open up
June Diane Raphael
the top, and you bring in.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, yeah.
Guest
Oh, wow.
Jason Manzoukas
Guys, this is the classic time. Anything that we missed, anything that we want to talk about, anything. I feel like we covered a lot of it. The one thing I feel like I would be remiss if we didn't talk about is that one scene in the beginning when. When Liu Kang decides to go fight in the tournament. Monks murmur. He's like, I'm gonna fight that tournament. And the monk's like, ooh, I think monks should not be gossiping amongst each other. That seemed like an odd thing for monks to do to kind of have a little coffee pot.
June Diane Raphael
This movie was so bad.
Cameron Esposito
I think that my favorite part of this movie is that whatever that guy's name is, Liu Kang, is fighting the big bad guy, and the big bad guy turns around about two feet from him and then turns back around, and he's his brother.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, yeah.
Cameron Esposito
If you watch this movie for any reason, fast forward to that part just so that you can see Liu Kang go, wait a minute. I don't think you're my brother. He just saw him transform.
June Diane Raphael
Yes.
Cameron Esposito
And still in his mind.
June Diane Raphael
You watched him transform in his mind,
Cameron Esposito
There's a chance that that is really his brother. And the brother tries to prove it by saying a line that will live with me for the rest of my life, which is, remember when our parents died? If the movie had ended on that, I would have been a five star review myself.
Jason Manzoukas
You would have written it on Christmas Day.
Cameron Esposito
I would have written it on Christmas.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, my God. That was a great little reveal, too. Oh, man. The brother, the dead brother. None of it pays off. None of would you guys recommend. Now, here's the thing. This movie's on itunes and you can't even rent it.
June Diane Raphael
No itunes.
Jason Manzoukas
You could easily.
June Diane Raphael
It's $15.
Jason Manzoukas
I paid 9 bucks on iTunes for it.
June Diane Raphael
How did you pay 9?
Jason Manzoukas
It was only 9 bucks on iTunes.
June Diane Raphael
I think it was. I think I paid 15 on iTunes.
Cameron Esposito
You didn't get. You got high definition.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, yeah.
Cameron Esposito
So I bet it looked better. I Bet it looked.
June Diane Raphael
It looked amazing. If amazing looks like garbage.
Jason Manzoukas
So would you guys recommend watching this movie?
June Diane Raphael
Never once, ever in your life.
Jason Manzoukas
I think you could fast forward and find some fun stuff.
Cameron Esposito
I think if you can just find that scene of the brother, that's gonna stick with you.
Guest
And also that flannel guy. I'm actually interested in going back to stage Christopher Lambert.
Jason Manzoukas
I think his movie is bad.
June Diane Raphael
Guys. There's no movement in this movie. The fights are lateral and boring.
Cameron Esposito
I don't necessarily believe in piracy, but somebody should pirate that section and put on the Internet and then all of our problems.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, it's also like, you know, I mean, this brings a whole thing. It's like making a movie out of a video game. They're separate things. Like, I think you can make a video game out of a good movie, but, like, also trying to do something cool. Like when Liu Kang's move in the video game is like, he flies forward and his legs are kicking really fast. But in this movie, when he's flying forward, he's like, almost. He's sitting and his legs are just moving. Like, really. It's not impressive. It's almost anything, but it seems like almost like a sketch. Like, you would see it on the Saturday Night Live.
June Diane Raphael
I feel like if you're gonna watch this at this point, watch the Raid Redemption. Watch, like, a really good martial arts fighting combat movie that would be like. Or any of, like, the Tony Jaa movies or something.
Cameron Esposito
I'd recommend Haywire if you like.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, sure.
Cameron Esposito
Watch Haywire in this movie. Why don't you go watch a real MMA lady, take some people down to study.
June Diane Raphael
Great. Love it.
Jason Manzoukas
Does she have a sense of humor?
Cameron Esposito
She's a terrible actor, but, hey, what the heck? She was on American Gladiators, the reboot.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, this is between.
June Diane Raphael
Cameron.
Jason Manzoukas
What do you have that you want to plug and tell us about?
Cameron Esposito
So I have two podcasts of my own, and folks like this, I also do an action and sci fi movie podcast.
Jason Manzoukas
That's what I didn't know about this,
Cameron Esposito
called Wham, Bam, Pow. And that's why I said this is in my wheelhouse. I fucking love this shit. The end.
Jason Manzoukas
What else we got, guys? Anything? Jason, you still in the dictator?
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, I'm just getting word now that I'm still in it.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, good.
June Diane Raphael
That is.
Guest
It's great, though.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, yeah. But my voice has now been dubbed.
Jason Manzoukas
But your body is still in it.
June Diane Raphael
My body is still in it, but I've been told that my voice has been entirely dubbed.
Jason Manzoukas
All right, that's okay.
June Diane Raphael
That's all business, but with a dog's bark.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, wow.
June Diane Raphael
So my character has now been reduced to being an animal in the movie, apparently. But I haven't watched it, so I don't.
Jason Manzoukas
It's an interesting performance. My comic book, Alien vs Parker, is coming out on February 4th. The trade paperback, read them all in one situation. June, what the fuck do you want to talk about?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. June, did you want to yawn on mic?
Jason Manzoukas
Don't you have a DVD coming out?
Guest
Oh, yeah. Ask Backwards is out on DVD January 28th and available on itunes.
Jason Manzoukas
There you go.
June Diane Raphael
Well, I'll also say go see Ride Along.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, yeah.
June Diane Raphael
Yes.
Jason Manzoukas
Jason Manzoukas, writer of Ride Along, a huge, huge hit.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, it is.
Jason Manzoukas
Giant hit.
June Diane Raphael
Giant hit now. Weird.
Jason Manzoukas
Are you gonna be riding around like a helicopter fueled by champagne at this point?
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you think I got here? It is not a good technology.
Cameron Esposito
Is that actually true?
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
June Diane Raphael
I did write a version of it.
Jason Manzoukas
You wrote the first version, right?
June Diane Raphael
I wrote the middle version.
Jason Manzoukas
I flipped out because I walked by one of those big bus ads and I saw your name on the thing. I was like, wait, what? I texted you immediately and did not hear you talk about it. We vacation together and didn't even hear you mention it.
June Diane Raphael
Nope.
Guest
You are a mystery.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, guys.
Jason Manzoukas
All right.
June Diane Raphael
But check it out on my Twitter.
Jason Manzoukas
No, you do not have a Twitter.
June Diane Raphael
I still don't have Twitter.
Jason Manzoukas
But how did this get made as a Twitter? You can follow us at hdd, whatever, you know, the initials of the fucking show. I'm on Twitter.
Guest
Paul Shear is Junedianne.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah. And I'm Ameron Esposito.
June Diane Raphael
Great on Twitter.
Jason Manzoukas
All right, that wraps up the show. And a big thanks to everyone that helps us out here at Earwolf. Brett, our engineer, our amazing people online. Avril Haley, who pulls all of our clips. She's amazing. Nate Kiley does a lot of the research, getting in deep on the Wikipedia pages. Leanna Waldron, designing cool shit that goes on our Facebook pages every single fucking day. And Katie Dyer, who runs our official how did this get made Twitter. That's right. We have a How did this get made Twitter? You know that it's hdtgm. Hdtgm.
June Diane Raphael
Did I say that right?
Jason Manzoukas
I think I did. All right, so that's all I'm gonna say for the end of the show. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Thank you, everybody here at Earwolf. We'll see you next time.
Guest
Bye.
Jason Manzoukas
Bye. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Guest
Hey, everyone.
Cameron Esposito
Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, no.
Jason Manzoukas
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.
June Diane Raphael
We're married.
Jason Manzoukas
Me to a human, him to a bird.
Cameron Esposito
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.
Jason Manzoukas
Get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty Liberty.
Cameron Esposito
Liberty.
Jason Manzoukas
Liberty on Deck is built to back small businesses like yours.
June Diane Raphael
Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow, gaps on Deck's
Jason Manzoukas
loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. Rated A by the Better Business Bureau
June Diane Raphael
and earning thousands of five star trust pilot reviews, Ondeck delivers funding you can count on.
Jason Manzoukas
Apply in minutes@ondeck.com depending on certain loan attributes. Your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtic Bank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
Original Air Date: May 12, 2026
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guest: Cameron Esposito
This episode dives into the infamous 1995 film adaptation of Mortal Kombat. The hosts and special guest Cameron Esposito dissect the movie's baffling narrative, questionable casting choices, bizarre effects, and its relationship with the iconic video game series. True to the show's style, the episode is a hilarious blend of pop culture commentary, personal anecdotes, and irreverent observations, making it a must-listen for both fans and newcomers to the franchise.
The episode concludes with the consensus that Mortal Kombat is a baffling, often joyless fight spectacle that fails to build a coherent world or deliver compelling action:
The show closes as always with plugs and comedic, self-aware banter.
For fans of the podcast or bad movie enthusiasts, this is a quintessential HDTGM episode—equal parts critique and celebration of cinematic failure, delivered with irreverent glee.