The 3rd "Annual" Howdie Awards (Part 2)

Summary

How Did This Get Made? — The 3rd "Annual" Howdie Awards (Part 2)

Date: January 2, 2026
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Summary by ChatGPT

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Overview

The second part of the third “Annual” Howdie Awards unfolds as a joyous, raucous celebration of How Did This Get Made?’s most absurd, chaotic, and memorable moments from the last nine years. The hosts, joined by frequent guest Max Silvestri, dish out their tongue-in-cheek accolades across numerous categories—from Best Jason Rant to Best Audience Nerd, and culminating in Best Guest. This episode exemplifies the podcast’s unique blend of shameless nostalgia, relentless self-mockery, and a deep, communal love for bafflingly bad cinema.

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Key Discussion Points & Award Categories

1. Best Subject of a Jason Rant (02:16–08:56)

• Nominees:

  • Fabergé eggs (Jessica St. Clair, Freejack)
  • The "Stripster Club" (Blues Brothers 2000)
  • Detroit audience's complaints about The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure

• Highlights:

  • Fabergé Eggs Bit: Hilarious disbelief as June insists her family in Philly owned several Fabergé eggs, leading Jason to incredulously break down why this is impossible.

    • Quote — Jason (04:13): "You just said on the podcast — my family in South Philly has a couple. A couple of Fabergé eggs at their home in South—let me just say something. Yin’s don’t have any Fabergé eggs in South Philly."

  • Detroit Audience Complaints: The hosts tease the audience for being salty over the movie choice and jokingly threaten Detroit with more Oogieloves sequels.

    • Quote — Jason (06:51): "Here’s the guarantee. Here’s my promise to you. I hated this movie. I hated every goddamn second I suffered through this movie. If we come back to this town, we’re going to watch every goddamn sequel ... just because you whined about it."

• Winner: Jessica St. Clair’s Fabergé eggs rant (Freejack, ep. 181)

  • Debate Over Winner: Jason feigns outrage that the award should go to Jessica rather than himself, protesting the category.
    • Quote — Jason (09:35): "But my rants are my thing… Not for my rants."

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2. Lifetime Achievement for Best Nerd in the Audience (11:35–18:19)

• Celebrating Ultimate Audience Fans: The hosts give thanks to recurring fans who contribute research, cosplay, and obsessive detail (“Tim from Largo,” “Ben Cannon,” “Morgan from Philly”).
• Spotlight on Morgan: Morgan, a D&D superfreak, regales the hosts with detailed, expert knowledge about D&D dragons.
  • Quote — Max (14:14): "In Dungeons & Dragons, their dragons are intelligent creatures ... Some are evil, some are good, and for some reason, the good ones are named after metals..."
  • Host Banter: The hosts marvel at Morgan’s knowledge and the organic audience chant that erupts (“Morgan! Morgan!”).
• Acceptance: Morgan recognizes the honor, joking about embracing the "nerd" label and inviting Jason to play a "magenta dragon" at his table.

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3. Best Second Opinion Song (22:54–28:42)

• Nominees: Parody songs crafted by fans and performed live, riffing off famous tunes to defend or mock the deranged movies.
  • "One Day More" (Action Jackson)
  • "Take On Me" (Unforgettable)
  • "Can’t Fight the Moonlight" (Moonfall)
  • Winner: “Bats, Bats, Bats, Bats” (parody of LMFAO’s “Shots,” Bats)
    • Quote — Jason (27:01): "If you ain’t watching Bats, get the fuck out La Largo!"
    • The song whips up the crowd into a gleeful, raucous bat-chant frenzy.

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4. Best Paul Childhood Story (28:53–36:55)

• Nominees: Paul’s most mortifying or bizarre childhood tales.
  • 12-year-old Paul takes friends to a NYC strip club.
  • Paul's grandmother’s story about a butcher grinding children into chop meat.
  • Paul tries to French kiss his mom after watching Love Boat (as a little kid).
  • Quote — Paul (33:37): "I was a little kid ... watching the Love Boat, and they were always open mouth kissing. So I just thought, I don’t know, that must be the next level of kissing."
• Winner: Paul tries to French kiss his mom (Jaws 3-D episode)

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5. Best Guest Appearance (40:11–53:02)

• Nominees:

  • Nicole Byer & Adam Scott (The Meg)
  • Jessica St. Clair (Holiday in Handcuffs)
  • Charlize Theron & Seth Rogen (Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II)
  • Ike Barinholtz (Cellular)
  • Casey Wilson (Drop Dead Fred)
  • James Acaster aka "James Projector" (Dream a Little Dream)

• Discussion:

  • The hosts hold a love-in for their recurring guests, especially Jessica St. Clair—a fan and cast favorite for her unfiltered, maximal energy.
  • Quote — June (50:58): "If she’s gonna come on, then I’m just going to tell everybody in the audience to turn your volume down!"

• Winner: Jessica St. Clair

  • Jessica’s Acceptance Speech:

    • Quote — Jessica (51:05): "Me being on stage with you guys ... and dressing up like maniacs and screaming at Jason is one of the highlights of my life. ... I can't wait to watch some more trash can fires and women who want to fuck their own dogs ..."

  • Honorable Mention: The hosts gently rib Casey Wilson for “physical injury done to her vocal cords” after screaming through the Drop Dead Fred episode.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Jason’s Bitterness at Awards Losses:
  Quote — Jason (53:04): "This is ridiculous. I'm going home empty handed once again. It's fine. Shame on me."

  • June kindly reframes this as a “Susan Lucci” moment—an actor beloved even without her award.

• Affection for Audience and Producers:

  • Shout-outs to the core “nerd” audience members, the production team, and especially Avril Halley, legendary for curating many of the show’s wildest films.
    • Quote — Paul (56:31): "She was an essential part of the DNA of this show, like you said, Paul, and will be forever."

• Paul’s Turn as a Collector: The running joke that Paul hoards the Howdie trophies, much to the feigned chagrin of Jason and June.

  • Quote — Paul (55:29): "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had [the Howdie chain] made. Just in case. Just in case."

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:16] Best Jason Rant
• [11:35] Best Nerd in the Audience
• [22:54] Best Second Opinion Song
• [28:53] Best Paul Childhood Story
• [40:11] Best Guest Appearance
• [53:04] Host Banter about Awards “Injustice”
• [56:05] Tribute to Avril Halley and production team

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Tone & Language

The episode is a love letter to the podcast’s wildest, weirdest, and most embarrassing moments, threaded with affectionate ribbing, explicit language, unexpectedly wholesome audience appreciation, and the hosts’ distinct blend of cynicism and genuine gratitude. The back-and-forths are sharp, fast, and packed with in-jokes—none more so than their collective shock at their own stories and the rituals that have formed around the show.

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Conclusion

This Howdie Awards episode is unmissable for long-time listeners and a delightfully madcap highlight reel for newcomers. From Jason’s flameouts to Paul’s TMI childhood stories, June’s deadpan takes, and the adoring (and long-suffering) audience—including the legend of Morgan the D&D Nerd—the Howdies are a sendup, a roast, and a thank-you to 15 years of shared cinematic suffering, secured by the camaraderie between hosts, guests, and listeners.

Transcript

[Paul Scheer]

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[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm Gabe Liedman.

[Max Silvestri]

I'm Max Silvestri, and we've been friends.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

For 20 years, and we like to.

[Paul Scheer]

Reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives. It's called I need you guys. Should I give my baby fresh vegetables?

[June Diane Raphael]

Can I drink the water at the hospital?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My landlord plays the trombone and I.

[Paul Scheer]

Can'T ask him to stop. You should make sure that you subscribe.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of Angie. One thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. And for decades, Angie's helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter. Get all your jobs done [e-mail].

[Announcer]

Welcome back to the third how did this Get Made? Howdy Awards, where we'll be continuing our celebration of the finest moments of the last nine years of the how did this Get Made Podcast. If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing? This isn't like Surf two. You know, that movie we covered that didn't actually have a part one, so make sure you've heard part one and then go ahead and listen to my good friend, Tall John Shear. Take it away.

[Paul Scheer]

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome back to part two of the Howdy Awards. We are just getting started. Let's get into it right now with.

[Announcer]

Our next category, Best subject of a Jason Rant. And the nominees are. Jessica St. Clair's Faberge eggs from episode 181, Free Jack.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why have we decided that Faberge eggs are the universal symbol of something priceless?

[June Diane Raphael]

I think my. My relatives in South Philly had a couple of those Faberge eggs.

[Paul Scheer]

Wait, what?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes, Right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nope, nope, nope.

[June Diane Raphael]

With, like, the Limoges, you know, like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A shepherd girl With a shepherd girl? No, they had, like, Yadro figurines.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yadros. That's what that. Isn't that the same as a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What are you.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're acting like you've seen one. Where have you seen a Faberge egg?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Where?

[June Diane Raphael]

Your family never imported them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nobody has Faberge eggs. Have you lost your mind? You're saying, like, oh, my family had Faberge eggs and Hummel figurines. Same. Are you insane? That is categorically impossible. Faberge eggs are something.

[June Diane Raphael]

Screw it, Paul.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That only did.

[Paul Scheer]

I did.

[June Diane Raphael]

How expensive is a.

[Paul Scheer]

Were made between 1885 and 1917. They were made for the Russian czars, Alexander III, Nicholas II, as Easter gifts for their wives and mothers.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How many of them are in South Philly? Just a quick count. How many are currently?

[June Diane Raphael]

You don't know where I come from?

[Max Silvestri]

Philly.

[Paul Scheer]

I will tell you this. So there are 65 known Faberge. Okay, I get it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, okay, great.

[June Diane Raphael]

One of them is at my grandmother's house.

[Paul Scheer]

Have survived to the present day.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

10 are displayed in the Kremlin. Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, so that leaves how many? That leaves some 40 odd. So. Oh, yes. You are so wrong. You're incredibly wrong. You are outrageously wrong. Wait a second, wait a second. You just said on the podcast. I think my family in South Philly has a couple. A couple of Faberge eggs at their home in South. Let me just say something. Yin's don't have any Fabrice eggs in South Philly.

[Announcer]

The Stripster Club. Strip Club from episode 193, Blues Brothers 2000.

[Paul Scheer]

So I'm passing to Jason. I'm passing to Jason. The logo of the club, which is in neon. It says stripster June has fallen out of her seat.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, that's it. Black it out. We're going home. Thank you, Chicago. This has been great. The show is over. The series is over. It's a wrap on how did this get made? You did it, Aykroyd. You broke the show. Congratulations. Your dream came true. Holy shit, Stripster. What world are we living in? That's not cool. What? And like my good friend Paul says, and no titties. You're gonna call it a Stripster club, and you're not even gonna let scribbles get an eyeball on some titties? Come on, Aykroyd.

[Paul Scheer]

If I'm not getting hard 2000 times, then why am I seeing Blues Brothers 2000 here?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I get who am I? Who am I? Read, read, read. Stripster. Nope, not doing it. Jim Belushi. What? Stripster Club. Fuck you, movie.

[Announcer]

The audience in Detroit complaining about the Oogie loves from episode 306, the Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm Dave Oogielove.

[Paul Scheer]

Great, Dave. What's your question? I just want to know if you knew that Real Steel was filmed here. Real Steel? The Hugh Jackman movie? Yeah. Was that an option? No. What's his name? That's for the only option.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait, what's his name?

[Paul Scheer]

What's your name?

[Max Silvestri]

Dave.

[June Diane Raphael]

Dave.

[Paul Scheer]

Dave. Dave.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We watched Oogie Loves. You watched Oogie Loves. We made you watch it. Nothing else was considered Oogie Loves. And if we come back to Detroit, Oogie loves too. Put your phone down. Put your phone down.

[Paul Scheer]

What I love is that people think that we didn't know. There are other choices.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Here's the guarantee. Here's my promise to you. I hated this movie. I hated every goddamn second I suffered through this movie. If we come back to this town, we're going to watch every godd damn sequel of these movies just because you whined about it. Detroit, toughen up. You're supposed to be strong. Detroit, bring it.

[Paul Scheer]

Ooh, now I remember the audience in Detroit, they were so mad. People were telling me in Detroit, they were like, I want a refund. I would have never have come to this show if I. And this is the funny thing about it. It's not as if we are doing, you know, this week on the show. You know, one battle after another, sinners. And then we're like, oh, but Detroit will do Oogly Loves. Like they act as if we have shocked them with the choice, like it's bad you give us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why did we get such a bad one?

[Paul Scheer]

To this day, to this day, I have not yet the 71 episodes or whatever it is later, have not seen a reaction like this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you are complaining about the bad movie that you've been forced to watch for this show, just please remind yourself you don't need to watch it. You don't need to listen to this. You can unsubscribe.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, you know, why don't you subscribe? But then, you know, following us does help the whole thing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sorry, sorry. You know, you know, you can subscribe someone else.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah, that's the right way. Anyway, this is an award that I've been, you know, look, it's been means a lot to me, obviously.

[June Diane Raphael]

Whoa, whoa.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What do you mean it means a lot to you? I think that if I'm not. If I've not misunderstood this, I can't lose this.

[Paul Scheer]

This award. Well, we'll see. Well, I mean, look, you're right, you know, you. You came in here, didn't think you're going to win an award, so let's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is a Jason rant.

[Max Silvestri]

So.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, this is tailor made for me.

[Paul Scheer]

Let's see. The howdy for best subject of a Jason rant goes to Jessica Sinclair's Faberge eggs from episode 181, Free Jack. Wow.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But wait.

[Paul Scheer]

Congratulations, Jessica.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait, no. Jessica gets it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Jessica.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, I mean.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, yeah. Jessica, I'm so sorry, Jessica. We're. Scott, that's supposed to go to Jessica, right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Correct. No, wait a minute.

[Announcer]

Well, it goes to her eggs. Her eggs?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Eggs.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think we should be talking about St. Clair's eggs on the podcast like this.

[Paul Scheer]

This is, like, very personal, but, you know, Jessica got it. And let's not take anything away from Jess, I think.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, but that is bullshit because you're telling me.

[June Diane Raphael]

Listen, it is hard. This one. This one I can. I know is a hard loss for you. Actually, as I sit here and think about it, it really should go to Jessica's ex.

[Paul Scheer]

Thank you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But my rants are my thing. My rants are. I'm all.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, but if you have nothing to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not for my rants.

[June Diane Raphael]

I know, but if you have nothing to rant about, then.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, I. You know what? I see what's happening. Okay. The writing's on the wall.

[Announcer]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The fix is in.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right, I get it. You know what? I'm just gonna fold my sack up and I'm gonna put it over here because I know nothing, and this tiny.

[Paul Scheer]

Sack, I mean, it is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's very smart. It's a stuff sack. It's a Tom Bin stuff stuff sack. Boy, I'd love it if Tom Bin made how I love it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes, I do think it would be nice if maybe you talk to Jessica and.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, God, do I have to?

[June Diane Raphael]

And. And the howdy spent a little time in her place and a little time in your place.

[Paul Scheer]

You know what?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Shared cust. Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Jason, this. This is maybe for you. New rule, Jason, right? That's what you always do whenever you do your.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This club random.

[Paul Scheer]

That's the way you do it. You. Whenever you get into a rant, you go new, right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's Bill Maher.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, I thought that was you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, wow. This is. This is humbling.

[Paul Scheer]

New rule. Next year, Jason will get a howdy anyway.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, but I mean, next year is probably. In nine years.

[Paul Scheer]

There could be Another Howdy. Awards show in a week or eight years. We don't know the schedule of it.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's fun is to just. Like, you don't. Because we don't know when the award show will happen. Like, can't really pander.

[Paul Scheer]

It's. That's true. You know what I mean?

[June Diane Raphael]

It's like, you know that all the Oscar movies are coming out in December. Like, for us, it's just like, we got to be ready whenever. Whenever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

At the drop of a hat.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

At the drop of a Dead Fred. We might be called upon to. Howdy.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, here's the thing. You know, we've been giving out a lot of awards. I've certainly taken my fair share. I'm like the studio here, and I'm going to tell you that tonight we're not just taking home awards for ourselves. We're also opening it to everyone. And our next award is not an award necessarily, but a lifetime achievement.

[Announcer]

Lifetime achievement for best nerd in the audience.

[Paul Scheer]

That's right. We want to honor one of our favorite nerds ever. There has been a lot of audience nerds who have stood out over the years. We have Pete the S Man, Tim from Largo, Ben Cannon, Leah from Chicago, Jafar. That's just to name a few. I love. I love our. Our ultimate fans. The ones who come in costumes, the ones who come with a notepad. The ones. Remember that guy for the Blues Brothers episode who came with a binder? A full binder.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's amazing to me, like, people come in costumes. People come do all sorts of things, but the people who've done their own incredible research and come prepared to. To. To give us the information that we're looking for. I feel like Tim is always good for that at Largo.

[Paul Scheer]

Tim, I actually didn't say is the best nerd in the sense that he. That never makes it about himself. Tim is, like, under the radar.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, in this category, I think.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, I agree. I feel like Tim shares, like, despite himself. Like.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's not, you know, he's just trying to get information out, but he did. He takes no pleasure in the spotlight.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, not at all. The only spotlight he seeks is. Is just to attack James Acaster.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Yes.

[Max Silvestri]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Scheer]

I forgot about that now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you.

[Paul Scheer]

You were saying that James Acaster did stumble upon that shirt that we made. James. Projector.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He did text me and say, what is this? Did not realize that projector shirt.

[Paul Scheer]

Did not realize that we. That we would actually make the shirt that we did say we were gonna make in the show.

[June Diane Raphael]

God.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, speaking of shirts, we have re released our. Our first two shirts are a ridiculous cage shirt and our what's its Mission shirts. You can get them in the teepublic store. All right, so without any further ado, though, I think that there is one. One nerd who rose to legendary status. He showed up in Philadelphia and knew something about Dungeons and Dragons. Knew everything about Dungeons and Dragons.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Knew everything.

[Paul Scheer]

We gave him the mic. He did not abuse that power. He wielded it gently and justly like no other audience member ever did before. Here, take a listen. I'm letting Morgan hold the mic because I trust a dm. I trust a Dungeons and Dragons person with the mic. They understand their role.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is respect. This is respect.

[Paul Scheer]

And now let me ask you one more question. This is probably the nerdiest question I'll have. Talk to me about dragons.

[Max Silvestri]

Yeah. So this movie definitely went for more of, like, a Game of Thrones feel to their dragons. But, like, in Dungeons and Dragons, their dragons are, like, intelligent creatures. They're very, like, proud and vain, and they have, like, treasure hoards. And some of them are evil, and some of them are good. And for some reason, the good ones are named after crayons in the box and the. Sorry. The bad ones are crayons in the box. And the good ones are metallic. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

And gold. Okay, so. Okay. This is so helpful. This is so helpful. Now can I ask.

[Paul Scheer]

Love it.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm just gonna be. Yeah. It's just like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We didn't prompt this chant. This is an organic chant.

[Paul Scheer]

You know what? You could take out your phones, take a picture of Morgan. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Out of curiosity, Morgan, as a dnd, I'm assuming fan since childhood. Question mark.

[Max Silvestri]

Pretty much.

[June Diane Raphael]

Pretty much.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Was there. Did you have feelings on this specific movie when it came out?

[June Diane Raphael]

Great question, Jason.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you, June.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. Were you excited about that?

[Announcer]

Questions?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, that was a great question.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm vain like a dragon.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, magenta Manzoukas with my hoard of.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Treasure and gold Like Smaug.

[Max Silvestri]

Smaug is actually a great example of.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, what a hell. Morgan.

[Max Silvestri]

Was just gonna say Smaug is a great example of, like, what D and D dragons are actually like. I did not see this movie as a child, actually. Probably because my parents shielded me from it. I wasn't even aware until it was announced for this that this was a movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

There we go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And how did you feel about it, just in general. Do you have thoughts?

[Max Silvestri]

It was so bad.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Morgan gets it. The Rest of you fucking idiots. I hated it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. So, okay. And then we'll let you go, I think. Or maybe have to pull up another chair.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you have a fourth chair?

[June Diane Raphael]

But when you're a player in the game, could I sign? Like, could I join as a dragon? Or I'd be a thief or I'd be an elf.

[Max Silvestri]

You could join as a dragon at certain tables.

[June Diane Raphael]

Got it. You said enough. I'm not welcome everywhere.

[Max Silvestri]

It's not a default assumption that you can do that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But let me say this. If you're inviting me to play your D and D game, I better be able to be a goddamn check.

[Max Silvestri]

If you want to play my D and D game, you can be a goddamn check.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm in. Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow. I don't think I can, though.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Here's what I'm going to say. I want to let Morgan get back to his seat. Where is your seat, Morgan? Are you far away? Okay, can we let Morgan take the mic with him? But kill the sound in case we need him to pipe up. He can stay at his chair. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

All right. You can do it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow.

[Max Silvestri]

Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

Thank you, Morgan.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Give it up for Morgan, a Philadelphia hero.

[Paul Scheer]

And that's why our howdy for best nerd in the audience goes to the one, the only, Morgan from episode 335, Dungeons & Dragons. And here is Morgan accepting this prestigious.

[Max Silvestri]

Award. I actually don't appreciate being called a nerd. Nah. Sake. Nah. I totally do. It makes me so happy when a fellow nerd is pulled from the audience and called a Morgan. I just want to thank Paul, Jason, June, Scott, and all my fellow Philly freaks who let me be a part of that show. It was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me or will ever happen to me, and I'm coming to terms with that, I promise. Also, Jason, come play your magenta dragon at my table.

[Paul Scheer]

Coward. Oh.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow. Okay, I.

[Paul Scheer]

Will. Wow. And he just ended on that. That was a real mic.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Throwdown. He really.

[June Diane Raphael]

Challenge.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Oh, and he's looking like right.

[June Diane Raphael]

There. I was expecting that kind of acceptance speech. So it's interesting to see what people.

[Paul Scheer]

Do. Oh, this is.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nice. These big.

[Paul Scheer]

Moments. Do you see this? And then he's got note pass from Scott here that on behalf of Morgan because he couldn't be here. I will take the Morgan's award. I will sweat him. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I will take it. I will take.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It. He addressed.

[Paul Scheer]

Me. Yeah, well, yeah, But I'm gonna take it right now for.

[June Diane Raphael]

Him. I don't know if you got room in the sack.

[Paul Scheer]

Anymore. I got room in the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sack. I mean, if anything, Scott should send it to.

[Paul Scheer]

Morgan. We'll figure.

[June Diane Raphael]

That. I think again, it's about Philadelphia. Anytime.

[Paul Scheer]

Soon. We were just there. Come on now. Come on.

[Announcer]

Now. Why do.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You. I have a quick question. Why do you already have so much shelf space cleared out in the. In the.

[Paul Scheer]

Bookshelves? Well, I was hoping. I was hoping that we.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Knew. Hoping or you.

[Paul Scheer]

Knew? I was just. I thought. Look, look, okay, Everybody needs to chill the fuck out, all right? I'm taking care of these awards, okay? Taking care of.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Them. All.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. All right. I know how to protect these awards better than anyone else, okay? I know these awards thrive.

[Announcer]

Here. The third annual Howdy Awards will return after a brief word from our.

[Paul Scheer]

Sponsors. Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or scaling up your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Now, I love Squarespace because it gives me everything I need. You can offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcased your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time. With professional on brand invoices and online payments. You can streamline your workflow. Keep it all in one spot. That's right. Built in appointment scheduling? Check. Email marketing tools. Check. I have been using Squarespace forever. You can see each one of my websites, whether it's the dark web, Paul Shear unspooled, or how did this get made? It's completely a unique experience and I love building there because it makes me feel free and creative to offer the things that I want to offer. Now head to squarespace.combonkers for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bonkers. That's B O N K E R s to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now that the holidays are over, you might be feeling like you got that kind of spending hangover. You know, all those gifts, the drinks, the holiday food, you're done. Luckily, Mint Mobile is here to help you cut back on overspending on wireless this January with 50% off unlimited premium wireless. That's right. All plans now come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with you as well as your existing contacts. So this January, quit overspending on Wireless with 50% off. Unlimited premium wireless plans start at $15 a month at mintmobile.com HDTGM that's mintmobile.com HDTGM Limited time offer upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan required 15 DOL taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only over 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required Availability, speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com you know, one in five Americans have learn a new language on their bucket list. If that's you, make 2025 the year you finally check it off with Babbel, the language app that makes grammar fun and actually worth your time. I am in day 130 of working on Babbel. I love it. Why? Because I can practice real life conversation step by step without the stress. I build confidence to SPE when it matters. From ordering a coffee to chatting with new friends abroad, I have found my learning on Babbel to be so much fun. You are learning tons of words but they're coming so naturally. Babbel has been truly a game changer, something that I've always put off and now I am a firm believer in. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription at babbel.com forward/get up to 55% off at babbel.com bonkers spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com bonkers rules and restrictions may apply. These awards thrive.

[Announcer]

Here. Anyway, our next category, best second opinion song. And the nominees are Ned and Rachel's riff on One Day More from episode episode 200 Action.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jackson. I saw a film on.

[Paul Scheer]

Amazon.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A most confounding contradiction but its true fans will carry on. They hold the truth of their convictions now they man the barricade. Do you hear what what people say? Hence the tide of poor reviewing. They don't care what critics think. They will give a passing grade. If you don't like it then you're dumb. They will give it all five star. Once or more. It is simply their opinion not the first but oh five star at this point. This movie is.

[June Diane Raphael]

Fantastic. It's just.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Stupid. The race is all but I like the Meg and the haters and the losers can go off and boil their heads. Go ahead and give the Oscar. Are you hearing what I said? Cause the only thing that matters now is this my second opinion. Give it up for Ned and.

[Announcer]

Rachel. Jed's riff on take on me from episode 222.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Unforgettable. Typing away. Cause I've got a lot to say. I'll say it in all caps and definitely defend this big hunk of crap till it makes sense As I write this from my parents basement. Take it from me, I'm not wrong. This is my suck it up in you. Thank you.

[Paul Scheer]

Jed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow. Give it up for.

[Announcer]

Jed. Anna's riff on Can't Fight the moonlight from episode 294.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Moonfall. The moon's out of orbit but.

[June Diane Raphael]

Don'T throw a fit Just get in the Lexus now. If you think the moon won't.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Fall well you'd better call Patrick Wilson.

[June Diane Raphael]

Halle Berry and Fuzz Aldrin. The CA megastructures and weird shit like that. Need these second opinion stat. You can try to resist how bad this movie is, but you know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Disgraced astronauts can't fight the moonlight. Deep in the dark you surrender five.

[June Diane Raphael]

Stars. Cause you know AI tech uh.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Uh. Fights for the moonlight.

[June Diane Raphael]

Whoa. Hope Fletcher Jones is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. Amazing. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's how it's done. We have not standing.

[Paul Scheer]

Ovation. Oh my.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Gosh. What's your.

[Paul Scheer]

Name? What's your.

[June Diane Raphael]

Name? I'm.

[Paul Scheer]

Anna. Anna. Thank you.

[Announcer]

Anna. Mark and Connor's riff on LMFAO's shot from episode.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

320.

[Paul Scheer]

Bats. So I'm Mark Connor and now it's time for second.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Opinions. If you ain't watching bats, get the fuck out La Largo. If you ain't wildlife zoologist with especially Kira Pratchett. Get the fuck out La Largo. If you ain't Wastey Pinguano get the fuck out La Largo. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats bats bats bats bats bats bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats everybody. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats.

[Paul Scheer]

Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bats. Everybody, second opinions on the rocks. And I'm ready for some bats. Poke holes.

[Paul Scheer]

Amazon. Every time I'm watching bats the reviews hit five.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Stars. Every time I give them bats. So cups in the air, everybody let's watch bats. Yes. Give it up.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Please. Great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Job. All slapping Just escort them.

[Paul Scheer]

Out. Oh my.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Gosh. Escort them.

[June Diane Raphael]

Out. Escort them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Out. Just you guys keep walking straight through the.

[Paul Scheer]

Door. So there are.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

672. I feel like the bats version of Shots could.

[Paul Scheer]

Chart. And the howdy for best second opinion song goes to. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. That is Mark and Connor's riff on LMFAO's shots from episode 329.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bats. That doesn't seem.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. I mean, odd. But you know what? It did get the crowd pumped.

[June Diane Raphael]

Up. Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What? I mean, sure, but I, I just. I feel like we can do.

[Paul Scheer]

Better, you know, I mean, look, it's. It's. Sometimes it's not about the quality, it's about the. It's the audience engagement. And I don't want to judge anybody too har. Okay, on to our next category. Announcer.

[Announcer]

Please. Best Paul Childhood Story. And the nominees are. 12 year old Paul goes to a New York City strip club from episode 321, Milk.

[Paul Scheer]

Money. I did bring my friends into New York City one time. We went to show world with fake.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

IDs. And then show World is a strip.

[Paul Scheer]

Club. And I went there as a 12 year old.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Paul. And you had a fake.

[Paul Scheer]

ID. Well, you went to the store and you got an NYU id and it said, I was a college student, but I was only 12. And then you showed it to the people at Show World and they would let you in. I think they knew I wasn't in college.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But. Oh, you think, you think I like that? There's a little. You're not quite.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sure. You're like, I was chewing on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My bubble teeth in my. I think they knew I was.

[June Diane Raphael]

12. Show sell.

[Paul Scheer]

Gobstoppers. And there was, There was a moment where I was walking around show world as a 12 year old and this woman approached me and she said, do you want to watch me take a shower? And I said, no, Paul, this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Movie, Paul, this movie is your.

[Announcer]

Life. Did.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You. Did you sign away life.

[June Diane Raphael]

Rights? Is that why you're mad you didn't make a cut?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Just feel like there could have gotten some better moments in there. And I remember that moment because I was like, I don't want. I don't want to watch you take a shower. So I'm gonna wait outside Show World. And I hung outside Show World and talked to the bouncer for a long time while my two other friends were doing whatever they were doing, watching someone take a shower. But before we got the Show World, this guy was like, you wanna like meet a. This is crazy. He's like, do you want to meet a sex worker? And we like, yeah. And he started to lead us down an alley. And at that point I was like, it's your.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Life. It's movies, by the way. I just want to go on record. We are two hours into the show, never heard of it. And only now are you inadvertently admitting and realizing this Is your life story on film? I.

[Paul Scheer]

Did. I did not put it all together. And as we were walking down that alley, I said, this is bad. Let's go. And then the guy's like, where are you guys going? Where are you guys going? We're gonna get out of here. And I pulled my friends out, and then we went to Show World.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. The only difference is he didn't have a gun like this guy.

[Paul Scheer]

Did. He might have. We didn't go down far enough down the.

[Announcer]

Alley. Paul's grandma threatens a butcher will grind him into meat. From episode 232 Adventures of Pinocchio.

[Paul Scheer]

My grandmother used to tell me this story when I was. Was a kid that I needed to lock the door to my house because when she lived in Garden City. This is where my grandmother lived in New York. She's like, when I lived in Garden City, there was a little boy, and he didn't lock his door. And one day he was in his.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bed. I already know this is deeply irresponsible of her, of her to have.

[Paul Scheer]

Said. And he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. And then he's gotten really nervous and he got under his bed and he was under the sheets, and the door opened. Creak it out. And then the boy looked and it was the local butcher. And he got scared. And then all of a sudden, the butcher grabbed him. And the mom came home, the boy wasn't there. She brought home her chop.

[June Diane Raphael]

Meat. No, Paul, stop. Stop it right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now. What are you talking about? And your grandpa and what? And the mother are you talking.

[Paul Scheer]

About? And then as the mother was making hamburgers for her son, she started making hamburgers. That the hamburger meat starts like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Mama. No, wait, Paul. The chopped meat, the meat knew because the meat was the boy. The meat. But the. But that again, that's. No, once it's turned into meat, the kid wouldn't know at that point. It's just meat, you know? Oh, I.

[June Diane Raphael]

Unreal. I am shaken on my.

[Announcer]

Inside. Paul tries to French kiss his mom from episode 217, Jaws.

[Paul Scheer]

3D. I almost. I tried to French my mom after watching Love.

[June Diane Raphael]

Boat. I've heard this story.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Before. What's happening right now? Is this for the podcast? Are we putting this out into the.

[Paul Scheer]

World? I'm a little.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Kid. You try to make out your words with your mom. No, I said French. French.

[Paul Scheer]

Sorry.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sorry. I get it, though. I mean, I do watch that. I get it. Because I did the same to many of.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Them. I wasn't like.

[Paul Scheer]

12. I was a little kid. I was like watching like the Lovebutt all the time and they were always like open mouth kissing. So I just thought, oh, that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know, that must be the next level of.

[Paul Scheer]

Kissing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right? I can get that. And was she.

[Paul Scheer]

Receptive?

[June Diane Raphael]

No. Did she consent?

[Paul Scheer]

Enthusiastically.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Guys. Oh.

[Paul Scheer]

God. Oh, boy. I feel good to get off my.

[June Diane Raphael]

Chest. Oh, man, these are all.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bangers. This is just book promotion. I don't understand, by the way. This category is book.

[Paul Scheer]

Promotion. Only one of these stories. And that was the thing that I heard from most people on my book tour. I thought that you would have more stories from the show in your book. And I honestly think only one or two stories that are in the book have been on the show, so. And when people ask me why I said I just forgot. Like, I wasn't thinking of. I wasn't trying to like check off boxes here. Anyway, I'm gonna give this award to somebody else. Somebody who deserves it. I'm gonna, you know. Yeah. You know, I will. I will not take this one. I'm gonna open this up, this envelope and see the howdy for best Paul childhood story goes to. Oh, Paul tries to French kiss his mom from Jaws.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

3D.

[Paul Scheer]

Interesting. I gotta tell you, I've been trying to get rid of this story. I've been trying to push this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

One. This is a tough.

[Paul Scheer]

One. This is, you know, and I, I put a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Picture. It's been referenced multiple times as.

[Paul Scheer]

Well. I put a picture up on my website of me kissing my mom on the lips just to. To satiate the pervos out there that need to see it. What are.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You. Wait a.

[Paul Scheer]

Minute.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What? You gave them, you gave them material to back it.

[Paul Scheer]

Up? Scott, can you pull up my website, Paulshear.com and just go to the book section? I'll show you. I'll show you. Because I was done with it. Just go to. Yeah, then scroll down here. There it is right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There. Oh, my God, that's so.

[Paul Scheer]

Funny. Oh, that's so now it looks like, you know, it looks like my mom is. Is, you know, so this looks very passionate. So, yeah, I've been trying to live down the story, but here's what I'm.

[June Diane Raphael]

Saying. The website is paulshear.com.

[Paul Scheer]

Pervert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. That's how you get to this. Because I know that all you pervs out there, here's what I want to say. I am giving this award to everyone who has approached me in silence and whispered in my ear. I did the same thing. I did the same thing. So to them, wait, I see.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You. I mean, are they saying that they also tried to French kiss their mom or are people just coming up and whispering in your ear? I did the same.

[Paul Scheer]

Thing. I did the same.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thing. What are you talking.

[Paul Scheer]

About? It's. It's more the second, but I assume it's in reference to that. I haven't really clarified, but yeah, I just want to give it to all the people out there who see me and also have had the courage to admit they have French kissed their.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Mom.

[Announcer]

Jesus. Don't go anywhere folks. Cause it's almost time for the biggest and final howdy of the.

[Paul Scheer]

Night. Best Guest Ooh baby, who could it.

[Announcer]

Be? Stay.

[Paul Scheer]

Tuned. How did this Get Made? Is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, the end of the year makes us think about who we are. Who do we want to become? You don't have to become a new person. No, you can just maybe understand yourself better. And by signing up for therapy with better help, you can shine a light on what's been weighing you down and illuminate the possibilities for the year ahead. See, BetterHelp handles all that initial therapist matching work for you. You take a short questionnaire, you share your needs and your preferences, and thanks to BetterHelp's industry leading match fulfillment, they usually get you matched up with someone that is perfect for you on the first time. And if the match isn't right, don't worry, you can switch. It's very easy. Let BetterHelp provide you an unbiased perspective on your life so you can head into the new year taking on what only truly serves you. You can't step into a lighter version of yourself without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Therapy can help you clear space. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] that's betterhelp.com Bonkers. A new year, Colder Days this is the moment your winter wardrobe really has to deliver. And if you're craving a winter reset, start with pieces truly made to last. Season after season. Quint's brings together premium materials, thoughtful design and enduring quality so you can stay warm, look sharp, and feel your best all season long. Now, now. I love their outerwear. Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. See, I got this long coat. It's fashionable. It's great. I got so many compliments when I wore it to my Christmas party. Since I've been purchasing from Quince, all of the stuff has stayed in great shape. It's not like those fly by night fashions that just fall apart after the first season. No quint is quality. And I'm going to tell you this much. It's not just clothes. It's home, bath, kitchen, travel. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.combonkers for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com bonkers free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.combonkers Adam Pally here and I'm John Gabris. We're a couple actors and best friends who you may know as the host of the TV show 101 Places.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To Party before you.

[Paul Scheer]

Die. Now we're bringing you a comedic look at health and wellness with our new show, Staying.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Alive. We'll have guests like our friend.

[Paul Scheer]

Actor Jerry O', Connell, ketamine therapist, Dr. Steven Radowitz, Paul Scheer, Ego Wodem, Gillian Bell, Dr. Dolittle. Staying alive with Jon Gabris and Adam Pali is out right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Now. Get them a week early and.

[Paul Scheer]

Ad free with Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts. All right, and now for our final and most prestigious category of the night, best guest.

[Announcer]

Appearance. And the nominees are Nicole Byer and Adam Scott from episode 196, the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Meg. But he, he gets there not.

[Max Silvestri]

Understanding anything and has to be introduced.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To everything that's happening.

[June Diane Raphael]

There. But he's got very cool.

[Max Silvestri]

Sneakers. Oh.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. Also, I loved that all of the secondary characters were.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Stereotypes. Like the black guy couldn't swim. And I was like, that was wild. That was.

[June Diane Raphael]

Crazy. Blew my.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Mind. They acknowledged how racist it was and then just kept doing it. Yes. Yeah. Cause I get it because I'm.

[June Diane Raphael]

Black. But then later was like, I can't.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Swim. Oh, a master pull me out. It was so wild. Except in this case, the Damascus is a tiny Asian girl who's like, shut the Fuck.

[Announcer]

Up. Jessica St. Clair from episode 204, Holiday in.

[June Diane Raphael]

Handcuffs. Yeah. Cause he's fucking hairless and built.

[Paul Scheer]

As shit, by the way. That is a rule in these.

[June Diane Raphael]

Shows. Yes, I.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Think. Why are you in high school hairless and.

[June Diane Raphael]

Jacked? Hairless. There's not a hair in his body. And I don't think he's.

[Paul Scheer]

Waxing. Oh, I think he's waxing.

[June Diane Raphael]

Me. Jessica. That is.

[Paul Scheer]

Unappealing. You want like a Ken doll.

[June Diane Raphael]

Physique, Dad, I don't want to know this. My first sexual urge was for.

[Paul Scheer]

Paunch.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay. From chips. And Mario is delivering me Ponch. Like, prime.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ponch. Oh, God, please stop saying.

[Paul Scheer]

Ponch. Prime.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ponch. Prime.

[Paul Scheer]

Ponch. I do feel like his shirtless scene, though, was a real beefcake.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Moment. Probably a T.

[Paul Scheer]

Shirt. Prime.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Punch. Prime.

[Paul Scheer]

Punch. Prime punch. Oh, prime punch. Doesn't sound like what it. The way you want.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It. Dripping letters. Prime.

[June Diane Raphael]

Punch. Listen, Mario Lopez is a beautiful.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Man. Very handsome.

[June Diane Raphael]

Undeniable. And, you know, there's nothing worse, I would argue, than a little snuggling up to a man that has stubble. A little hairy. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to feel like you've groomed more than I have before a date. But that's why I'm so fascinated that you like a hairless man. Because, as I said, I want no hair or all the hair in the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

World.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow.

[Announcer]

Jessica. Charlize Theron and Seth rogen from episode 212. Hello, Mary Lou. Prom night.

[June Diane Raphael]

Two. The scene in the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bathroom.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. I wanted to give her my Academy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Award. It was.

[Paul Scheer]

Amazing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Do.

[Announcer]

It. Do.

[June Diane Raphael]

It. I'm actually not made funny. I very fairly looked at it and said, this is really good.

[Paul Scheer]

Work. It was.

[June Diane Raphael]

Good. This is.

[Max Silvestri]

Really. I'm.

[June Diane Raphael]

Not. I'm actually, like. It is a good fucking.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Moment. It was a beautiful. It was a one. It was a beautiful shot that slowly crept.

[Paul Scheer]

In. Oh.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And then when that lady dies, it was crazy because they almost cut her head off with this fucking thing. This is the craziest. And they don't. And they hang. Not only that, it looks like they're gonna chop her head off with a paper.

[Paul Scheer]

Cutter.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right? They don't. The cloak goes up and hangs her and then throws her out the.

[Paul Scheer]

Window.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What? What are you talking about? You just succeeded in strangling her with a cloak. Why throw her out the.

[June Diane Raphael]

Window? No, the best part then is the next cut is them talking about how she killed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Herself. She killed.

[June Diane Raphael]

Herself. She hung herself, then threw herself out of a.

[Announcer]

Window. Ike Barinholtz from episode 205.

[Paul Scheer]

Cellular. So he's an LA police officer. It's one line. It's one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Line. When I moved here from England when I was 18, I didn't like.

[Paul Scheer]

It. Now I love it because I'm a cop instead. It's like, sorry I'm late. I was on the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

405. I got off at Centinella, and there was. I grew up in Chatsworth.

[June Diane Raphael]

Mate. Was he trying to hide.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It? He was.

[Paul Scheer]

Trying. There was a line that I really liked, and I don't remember the full line. But like Jason Statham gives Kim Basinger a couple choices and a was, shut up. A shut up. Keep your mouth shut. Just like Fernando Venezuela after he left the Dodgers and gave a shitty.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Interview to Bill Plaschke in the LA Times, which I fucking subscribe to, which I read every week just for Jonathan Gould's review. He's a San Gabriel Valley Chinese.

[Paul Scheer]

Restaurant. He's a regional treasure, isn't he? Dim sum is my favorite.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thing. I'm going for a hike and Griffith Park. I am. Then we're going to Changdu palace afterwards. You're going to love it. They got lobsters right in the.

[Paul Scheer]

Tank. Did you guys wonder, like, what. What was going.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To. Jason Statham.

[Announcer]

Angelino, Casey Wilson from episode 219 Drop Dead.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Fred. I liked that. This movie is about this little girl not being able to experience loss and grief and all the traumas of childhood and what she feels about her.

[June Diane Raphael]

Mother. I thought her mom was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice. Me too. Me too. I'm dead. Finally. Finally. I'm dead. I loved.

[Max Silvestri]

Her. Loved.

[June Diane Raphael]

Her. What I would have given for that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Moment. Wait.

[Paul Scheer]

What? That was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice. What are you talking about? You're my friend. Are you insane? The mom is a sociopath. What? The mother blames the daughter at the.

[June Diane Raphael]

End. You want to talk about abuse? Let's talk about that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Mom. That mother had been.

[Announcer]

Pushed. James Projector a caster from episode 359 Dream a Little.

[Paul Scheer]

Dream. Oh, sorry. The projector moved down. We'll fix that in one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Second. Oh, Tip just told me to sort the projector. Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wow. I'll fix.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It. He said, James Projector. James Projector. I just. I just said that I regret it for the first.

[Paul Scheer]

Time. That's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Good. James Projector. Wow. You it out of your mind? I'm not sorting the picture. I'm the guest. None of this is my responsibility, James. None of this is on me. I could my pants and walk off and I've done a great job. Just so you know, when this. When this episode gets released, you will be credited as James Projector. James Projector. Holy.

[Paul Scheer]

Christ.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tim. Tim's getting too big for his.

[Paul Scheer]

Britches.

[Max Silvestri]

Okay?

[June Diane Raphael]

God. To not even make a full.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sentence out of it, you put me in a bad mood for the trailer now.

[Paul Scheer]

Tim. Respect our.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Guest. Tim is in a full body.

[June Diane Raphael]

Sweat. That was.

[Paul Scheer]

Funny. I.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do. Just put him the projector back in your goddamn eyes and you can watch the trailer that way, Tim. How's that fun? Everyone could stand behind you and watch it project it on the back of your head. James Projector. You high. A whole week in this goddamn city, everyone talking to me like a piece of. And I need it from you as.

[Paul Scheer]

Well.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow. Incredible.

[June Diane Raphael]

List. This is such a difficult category. I feel like of all of them, this, this is the one where I'm like, it could go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Anyway. Yeah, these are all banger guests on Banger episodes. Yeah, this is, These are. I mean, I mean, many of these. I remember the Ike episode is famous for the Jason Statham Angelino.

[Paul Scheer]

Bit. Now, I do want to say, I want to give a shout out to our. My friend Sean at Trek Bikes, because I was recently purchasing a bike at Trek. And.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sean. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's happening right.

[Paul Scheer]

Now? Well, my friend Sean, are we.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Doing an in Howdy episode ad for.

[June Diane Raphael]

Trek? Well, by the way, what I'm realizing is, like, they, I knew we must have had some giant sponsor making these howdies or, like, underwriting them because they're so big. Are they made out of.

[Paul Scheer]

Gold? They are made out of solid gold. Okay. And so they're.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Heavy. Trek manufacturing them, because that makes sense as to why there are bicycle chains as part of the decorative.

[Paul Scheer]

Feature. Yeah. And there. And then, obviously, you know, the best audience award, that, that's more of a mountain biking award, and we have that. But it was so funny because I was, I was at the Trek bike store chatting with this gentleman, Sean, and he said to me, he goes, I quote jason Statham Angelino at least once a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Week.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow. And I was like this, I said that you've made my day. I, I just love that. That is like a bit like that. I love a deep.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Dive. That's also a bit, that's a funny bit that anyone can.

[Paul Scheer]

Do.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Because all you need to do is a barely passable Statham and then just LA.

[Paul Scheer]

Specifics. It's really, really great. I, I, I, I, I love it so much. I do want to say that I love all of our guests. They are absolutely fantastic. And, you know, whoever wins this award, you're all winners. They're all.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Winners. I love that. This our final award. Finally, there is some international input. We have James Acaster here. So we have a nominee from outside of the United States, which I think.

[Paul Scheer]

Is. Charlize is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not. Oh, Charlize as.

[Paul Scheer]

Well.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Forgive.

[Paul Scheer]

Me. You know, you're absolutely right. Adam Scott, resident of Norway, I believe, but he's not talking about.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That. Yeah, no, I mean, he, he will be when he, when he runs for prime.

[Paul Scheer]

Minister. All right, everybody, let's see. The howdy for best guest appearance goes to Jessica St. Clair. Jess, obviously, you know, if there was a fourth member of the show, it would be Jess. She's been on the show more times than than not. And you know what? I think that tonight would only be fair to give Jess the microphone. I mean, hang on. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If. If she's gonna come on, then I'm just gonna tell everybody in the audience to turn your volume.

[June Diane Raphael]

Down. How did this get made? It's Jessica. Thank you so much for this award. It means so much to me. I have to tell you, me being on stage with you guys cheering in the audience and dressing up like maniacs and screaming at Jason is one of the highlights of my life. There is no better fan than a How did this get made fan. And listen, have I had to spend, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars in therapy to erase some of the memories that I've made while watching these horrific films? Yes. But every dollar has been worth it because I've got to spend it with you guys. And I can't wait to watch some more trash can fires and women who want to fuck their own dogs and, you know, who knows? It's exciting. But thank you so much. I love.

[Paul Scheer]

You. All right, Jess. The best. The absolute.

[June Diane Raphael]

Best. She deserves.

[Paul Scheer]

It. She deserves.

[June Diane Raphael]

It. Could have gone anyway, but I'm.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Happy. I will say, she's done so much incredible work on the front lines of this show. So that being said, it can't be understated that Casey Wilson had physical injury done to her vocal cords after the Drop Dead Fred episode. And I think that should be acknowledged because she really put her body, her health, her well being, and her body on the line to fight for a absolute fraudulent point of.

[Paul Scheer]

View. Okay, but hold on, Jason, here's the thing. Casey was unavailable to make a.

[June Diane Raphael]

Video, so that's why I've actually been quite scared that we're going to get a bill from Casey's, like, vocal node.

[Paul Scheer]

Surgeries. She can't prove it. Now, let me tell you this, everybody. What a show, by the way. I'll just take this Jessica one just to get out of the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Way. This is ridiculous. I just want to say this is ridiculous that I'm going home empty handed once again. It's fine. I don't know why I expected it to be different. I. Shame on.

[June Diane Raphael]

Me. Can I say something, though? There's a lot of actors, like, we, you know, look at who have never won any Oscars and stuff, and it's like, in some ways they're even more intriguing to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Us. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Interesting. You know, in some way, like, in some ways, we value their work a little bit.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

More. So I'm like a Susan Lucci. I'm a.

[Paul Scheer]

Susan. Actually did.

[June Diane Raphael]

Win. She eventually.

[Paul Scheer]

Won. Yeah. I would say you're more like a Tom.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Cruise. Oh, wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. You know, you're putting your life out.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There. Oh, I'm like, yes. I'm putting myself on the line. Every show. Every show I do is a.

[Paul Scheer]

Stunt.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. It's a life endangering.

[June Diane Raphael]

Stunt. Yeah. But it's like, you know, it's kind of cool. Like, just try. Try to reframe it that way for.

[Paul Scheer]

Yourself. Well, you know, and I will take this, June. Sadly, I don't. I don't think you walked. Well, I guess I'll. I'll share an award with you tonight. And, you know, there's so many people to thank here. Our producers, Scott Sonny, Molly.

[June Diane Raphael]

Reynolds. So I did take a howdy before for my June. You know, Savage just like.

[Paul Scheer]

Did. Yeah, well, I. Well, you. Yeah, well, we're sharing it, right? I thought we agreed to.

[June Diane Raphael]

Share. Yeah, but when did you come down here to my office in the.

[Paul Scheer]

Middle? I'm holding on. I'm holding on. I'm holding on to it. Just because you don't. I don't want you to lose.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It. This is.

[Paul Scheer]

Infuriating. God. Thank you. Yes. What? Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What? No, no, go.

[Announcer]

Ahead. Please do the.

[Paul Scheer]

Outro. Please do the outro. I'm so sorry that you both weren't able to walk away with any awards. Like I said, thank you.

[June Diane Raphael]

From. I had.

[Paul Scheer]

One. The bottom of Morgan's heart. Thank you from the bottom of Jess heart. I'm gonna take both of theirs, and we'll make sure that we get them to them for the next.

[June Diane Raphael]

House. I didn't give her that.

[Paul Scheer]

One. No, no. All right, thank you to our producers, Scott Sonny, Molly Reynolds, our audio engineer, Casey Holford, our intern, Quinn Jennings, who helped us pull a lot of these clips, and our social media manager, Zoe Applebaum. We.

[June Diane Raphael]

Owe. How nice would it be to give one of them a.

[Paul Scheer]

Howdy? Yeah, they all deserve. They all deserve a howdy. They all deserve. You know what? Why don't I give them your howdy, June? I'm give June's howdy. That's a beautiful, beautiful thing. You take June's howdy. You all share it amongst yourselves. I want to say. And we've talked.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Paul, did you already have that chain made? The one that you've clipped into a howdy that you wear around your neck.

[Paul Scheer]

Now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had it made. Just in case. Just in.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Case.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. And they're so big, too, you know, look, what a gift to give, you know, me, these awards. I thank you both. You know, I do want to say, as we look back on these years that we have done this show, and it's been a long time. We do owe a lot of these classic moments that you've heard in this episode to Avril Halley, who will forever be a part of the show's DNA and her selections of these films that got us to these places. We are always keeping her in our thoughts and minds.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Anyway. Oh, I think it can't be overstated that. I think without. Without Avril's help, we would not still be doing a third annual.

[Paul Scheer]

Howdy. Fifteen years in, I believe many a time I tried to get Avril on board to help find some of these clips and she politely and rightly said.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

Incredible. Yeah. The best decision she's ever.

[June Diane Raphael]

Made. That's really her.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Legacy. She was an essential part of the DNA of this show, like you said, Paul, and will be.

[Paul Scheer]

Forever. Well, we love you, Avril, and we love all of you listeners for making this show worth doing for the last 15 years and counting. And you know what? Because of you all, we will not wait another nine years between howdies. That is a wrap on this year's Howdies. But you know what? I'm sure we missed a few things and we'll give you your chance to tell us what we missed next week on Last Looks as we also revisit another film that we have had a chance to hear your thoughts on. And that is My Secret Santa. So get your corrections and omissions in for both of these episodes next week. And bye for.

[Announcer]

Now. This concludes the third annual how did this get made? Howdy Awards. Remember, to see the photo of young Paul kissing his mom, just go to paulshear.compervert. again, that's paulshear.com/pervert. Thanks for listening, you.

[Paul Scheer]

Jerks. Hi, I'm Jenny Slate, and believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Podcast. I'm Gabe.

[Max Silvestri]

Liedman. I'm Max Silvestri, and we've been.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Friends for 20 years and we like.

[Paul Scheer]

To reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Lives. It's called I need you.

[Paul Scheer]

Guys. Should I give my baby fresh vegetable? Can I drink the water at the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hospital? My landlord plays the trombone and.

[Paul Scheer]

I can't ask him to stop. You should make sure that you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Subscribe so that you never miss an episode. I need to.

[June Diane Raphael]

Go. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well, from room roof repair to emergency plumbing and more done well. So the next time you have a home project, leave it to the pros. Get.