The Wicker Man w/ Jonah Ray (HDTGM Matinee)

Tue Oct 07 2025

NO!NOT THE BEES! Jonah Ray (Mystery Science Theater 3000) is in the studio to deconstruct and celebrate the ridiculousness of the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage and directed by Neil LaBute. We also get a call from Liam O’Donnell, one of the writers of Skyline, who defends his movie and offers an explanation of how it got made. (Ep. #19 Originally released 09/27/2011)

Transcript

Jason Mantzoukas (0:00)

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Paul Scheer (0:28)

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Paul Scheer (0:58)

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

Paul Scheer (1:00)

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

Paul Scheer (1:03)

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T Mobile commercial like you. Teach me.

Jason Mantzoukas (1:09)

So Dana.

Paul Scheer (1:10)

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at T Mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

Paul Scheer (1:21)

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T Mobile is the best place to get IPH17 Pro because they've got the best network. Nice.

Paul Scheer (1:29)

Jeffrey, you heard them.

Paul Scheer (1:31)

T Mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on.

June Diane Raphael (1:35)

Us with eligible traded in any condition.

Paul Scheer (1:38)

So what are we having for lunch?

Paul Scheer (1:39)

Dude, my work here is done.

Paul Scheer (1:41)

Summary

How Did This Get Made? — "The Wicker Man" w/ Jonah Ray (Matinee)

Date: October 7, 2025
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guest: Jonah Ray

Overview

In this episode, the HDTGM crew (Paul, June, Jason) is joined by Jonah Ray for an in-depth and hilarious breakdown of 2006’s infamous Nicolas Cage vehicle, The Wicker Man. The team dissects the cult-favorite “so-bad-it’s-good” thriller, exploring its bizarre plot twists, clunky dialogue, and legendary overacting. The episode also features a call-in interview with Liam O'Donnell, co-writer and producer of Skyline, who provides an inside look at making low-budget genre films. As always, the hosts weave between acerbic wit and genuine bewilderment, making for a riotous examination of cinematic catastrophe.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Scenes & Confusing Set Up

Opening Disconnection:
The crew immediately notes the movie starts with a coffee shop scene unrelated to the rest of the plot, featuring apparent cameos and unfollowed threads (03:30).
- June: “Where do we start on this movie, I mean.” (03:30)
- Paul: “The beginning of the movie, which has nothing to do with the rest…” (03:32)
Cameos & Unused Threads:
Surprise over Aaron Eckhart’s random, unreciprocated appearance (03:57).
- June: “And I was like, oh. Because it’s Aaron Eckhart. I was like, oh, that’s part of the movie. It took me a long time. He’s not coming back.” (04:10)

2. Nicolas Cage’s “Performance” and Character

Stilted Acting:
The team is baffled by Cage’s oscillation between a sedated first half and a cocaine-crazed finale.
- June: “For like 3/4 of this movie, Neil was secretly giving Nicolas Cage like downers… then the last 30 minutes … crack cocaine…” (07:29)
- Paul: “His sleepiness feels like they taped the rehearsals.” (07:47)
Questionable Police Work:
Discussion on how Cage’s character displays zero detective skill and acts irrationally, especially interrogating everyone with no authority. The bizarre school scene is highlighted as a peak example. (13:05–14:20)
- Jason (as Cage): “You little liars.” (13:49)
Best Overacting Moment
- June (about the classic line): “Can we just play it again? — How’d it get burned?! How’d it get burned?! I don’t know. Kill me.” (26:44)

3. Plot Absurdities & “Twists”

Pointless Clues, Hallucinations, and Plot Holes:
Paul and June question which events are hallucinations versus real, how everyone seems careless about hiding clues, and the logic behind the community’s rituals. (16:33, 28:29)
- Paul: “What is a hallucination and what is not…?” (28:29)
Bizarre Tone Shifts:
Abrupt black-and-white flashbacks to earlier scenes (17:15), redundant red herrings, constant twin sightings, and increasingly unhinged behavior from Cage.

4. Pagan Island Antics

Female-Run Island & Bee Economy:
The group mocks the isolation and weirdly matriarchal honey-centric society, from “Mead is one of the pleasures of our island” (10:21) to the iconic “what’s in the bag? A shark.” exchange (11:07).
No Jurisdiction, All Nonsense:
June: “He has no jurisdiction. Zero.” (11:43)
Bees & Allergies:
Paul: “The whole rub of the story is that Nicolas Cage is allergic to bees and he’s going to an island where their main output is honey and bees.” (22:16)
- Ridiculous attention is drawn to Cage’s EpiPen case and his habit of leaving medicine behind.

5. Legendary Scenes & Unintentional Comedy

Unhinged Climax:
The last act, featuring Cage’s bear costume, woman-punching, karate bouts, bike theft, and full meltdown are given special attention.
- Paul: “[He] puts on a bear costume to get in a processional… You can clearly see it’s not Sister Beach.” (31:12)
- Jason: “He’s the only bear, though.” (31:11)
Iconic Torture Finale:
The infamous “Not the bees!” sequence is recapped for both horror and hilarity.
- Paul (playing clip): “No, not the bees... my eyes!” (36:05)
End Tag & Deleted Scenes:
The post-credits reveal (in the unrated cut) with James Franco and Jason Ritter as new victims sets up the cyclical cult plot and confounds the hosts.
- June: “So basically, it turns out they’re gonna do to these two guys what they did to Nicolas Cage.” (34:16)

6. Listener Reviews & Second Opinions (39:27)

Amazon Highlights:
The team reads select, unintentionally funny positive reviews.
- Paul: “So what? He punched three females? It was required. Get over it.” (39:27)
- June (cracking up): “Oh my God.” (39:27)

7. Nicolas Cage on ‘The Wicker Man’

Cage’s Own Take:
The hosts play audio of Cage discussing the film’s intentional absurdity.
- Cage (clip): “I might have known that that movie was meant to be absurd… You have to let the audience have its own connection and bash it or not bash it or love it.” (40:23)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Have you ever had mead, Paul? Oh, it’s crazy. It’s tough stuff.” – Jonah Ray (13:05)
“I felt like this whole movie was shot in order and then they edited it way out of order.” – Paul Scheer (28:05)
“He pulls a gun on her to take her bike. Step away from the bicycle.” – Paul Scheer (23:40)
“That was so upsetting… It was like Mormons. Mormon making out.” – Jason & Jonah (24:48–24:52)
“You little liars.” – Jason, imitating Cage in the school scene (13:49)
“How’d it get burned?! How’d it get burned?! How’d it get burned!? I don’t know! Kill me!” – Nicolas Cage (clip, 26:44)
“Killing me won’t bring back your goddamn honey!” – Paul, quoting Cage during Wicker Man climax (35:49)
“Not the bees! Not the bees! My eyes!” – Paul/Cage (36:05)
“He is like one second away from Gary Busey.” – June Diane Raphael (40:56)

Key Segment Timestamps

[03:30] – Start of movie discussion: opening scene confusion, Aaron Eckhart cameo
[07:29] – Cage’s performance: doped-up then hyper-caffeinated
[10:21] – Arrival on the island: mead, matriarchy, and “what’s in the bag?”
[13:05–14:20] – Nicolas Cage interrogates the school children (“You little liars”)
[16:33] – Hiding clues: “They want him to find these clues?”
[22:16] – The bee allergy/EpiPen subplot
[24:48] – Awkward romance and the world’s worst police detective
[26:44] – The “How'd it get burned?!” meltdown
[28:29] – What’s a hallucination vs. what’s real?
[31:12] – Bear costume infiltration
[34:16] – Extended cut ending: Franco/Ritter as new victims
[36:05] – The “Not the bees!” scene
[39:27] – Second opinion: reading wild Amazon reviews
[40:23] – Nicolas Cage’s perspective

Post-Movie: Special Call-in with Liam O’Donnell (Skyline Writer/Producer)

Interview starts [41:15]
Paul welcomes Liam O’Donnell for a behind-the-scenes chat on the making of Skyline:

Making an indie alien invasion film outside the studio system (42:17)
Writing the script under pressure in a month (42:11)
Many scenes cut for time and the MPA (45:06–48:26)
Plans for a sequel and gonzo new projects (46:00–51:43)
Liam’s attitude toward criticism: “At the end of the day…I see all the criticisms, so correct me if I’m wrong, but it seemed like you put this whole project together fairly quickly, kind of outside the traditional studio system.” (42:11)

Conclusion

The hosts agree The Wicker Man is an unintentional masterpiece of bad moviemaking—a surreal, incoherent, occasionally horrifying stew of odd acting choices, nonsensical plot, and unforgettably funny moments. The consensus: the movie, while disastrous, is an essential watch for lovers of cinematic trainwrecks.

Quick Highlights

“No, not the bees!” and “How’d it get burned?!” enter the HDTGM lexicon of legendary scenes.
The film’s original ending, deleted scenes, and post-credit tags are unraveled and compared.
Listener reviews are more surreal than the movie.
Cage himself all but admits it was an absurdist project.
A behind-the-scenes chat with Skyline’s writer/producer adds industry perspective and extra laughs.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone fascinated by the limits of bad filmmaking, Nicolas Cage mythos, or just looking for a hilarious, detailed teardown of cult movie insanity.