Time Cop LIVE! W/ Nick Kroll (HDTGM Matinee)

Summary

How Did This Get Made? Episode Summary: "Time Cop LIVE! W/ Nick Kroll (HDTGM Matinee)"

Release Date: January 28, 2025

In this lively episode of "How Did This Get Made?", hosts Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas, alongside special guest Nick Kroll, delve into the convoluted world of the 1994 Jean-Claude Van Damme film "Time Cop". Recorded live at the Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas, the episode offers a blend of sharp critique, humorous banter, and insightful analysis, making it both entertaining and informative for listeners not familiar with the podcast.

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1. Introduction and Guest Welcome

The episode kicks off with a bustling live audience atmosphere as the hosts welcome Nick Kroll to the show. Their initial exchanges set a playful tone, with Paul Scheer humorously commenting on the "balcony people."

[03:40] Paul Scheer: "How are you doing? Balcony. That's right."

[06:15] Jason Mantzoukas: "Look at this. It says thank you, ZP and J. Fireworks says thank you, ZP and J. The Zooks, Paul and June."

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2. First Impressions of "Time Cop"

The discussion begins with the hosts and Nick sharing their first encounters with "Time Cop." While some express nostalgia, others grapple with the movie's perplexing elements.

[06:33] Jason Mantzoukas: "How do you feel about Time Cop? I would imagine..."

[07:01] June Diane Raphael: "I feel like on a Sunday afternoon when I was, like, 16, I saw this movie."

June's unexpected enjoyment of a film she previously dismissed sparks further conversation.

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3. Characters and Performances

Jean-Claude Van Damme's portrayal and Ron Silver's role receive significant attention. The hosts commend Van Damme for bringing depth to his character, despite the film's shortcomings.

[07:20] Jason Mantzoukas: "He's, by the way, become great."

[10:02] June Diane Raphael: "I don't remember how many JCVD movies I've seen, but I do feel like JCVD is doing some of the best work I've seen him do in this motion picture."

Ron Silver's performance is both praised and humorously critiqued, especially regarding the pronunciation of his name.

[12:13] Paul Scheer: "Ron Silver."

[13:00] Jason Mantzoukas: "I'm honoring his memory by pronouncing his name correctly."

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4. Plot and Time Travel Mechanics

A substantial portion of the episode dissects the movie's time travel logic, highlighting numerous plot holes and inconsistencies. The hosts question the feasibility of the time travel technology depicted and the character motivations behind altering the past.

[16:05] June Diane Raphael: "Is this a movie that..."

[25:25] Paul Scheer: "They must arrive in the car, which they do. How?"

[31:00] Jason Mantzoukas: "Wouldn't that attack never have happened until he started investigating the case?"

The discussion emphasizes how the film's approach to time travel undermines its own narrative coherence.

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5. Specific Scenes and Elements

Key scenes, such as the opening mall scene and the intricate fight sequences, are analyzed for their execution and impact. The hosts express both amusement and frustration over certain directorial choices.

[16:35] Paul Scheer: "It was a earned split and I appreciated it."

[44:30] Paul Scheer: "It's not like it's so big to the sign."

[56:37] Paul Scheer: "He's watching virtual reality porn at his desk at the TEC Center."

The juxtaposition of serious plot elements with gratuitous or poorly executed scenes is a recurring theme.

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6. Production Quality and Comparisons

Comparisons to other time travel classics like "Back to the Future" underscore the production disparities and creative choices that set "Time Cop" apart—often not in a favorable way.

[26:29] Paul Scheer: "Honestly, it makes the mailbox in the lake house look genius. Like. And by the way, we've already seen this done better in a vehicle based time travel system in Back to the Future."

These comparisons highlight the critics' perception of the film as attempting grandeur without the necessary finesse.

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7. Audience Interaction: Puns and Questions

The live audience segment introduces a fun element where attendees contribute puns and pose questions about the movie. This interactive portion adds depth to the discussion, revealing diverse viewpoints and sparking further debate among the hosts.

[65:04] Paul Scheer: "Go to the past. See Van Damme's ass."

[75:46] Nick Kroll: "My personal pun is killing time has a whole new meaning."

These contributions enhance the episode's dynamic, blending humor with analytical discourse.

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8. Overall Conclusions and Final Thoughts

Despite acknowledging its flaws, the hosts collectively express a peculiar fondness for "Time Cop." Their final remarks suggest that the movie's entertainment value, grounded in its unique quirks and over-the-top performances, makes it a memorable watch.

[83:13] Jason Mantzoukas: "This movie is fucking awesome. It's pretty terrific. It's loads of nonsense, and everybody's chewing up the scenery. I say 100%, go for it, June."

[84:12] June Diane Raphael: "Yes, yes, yes. And I feel like it's the right amount of time for this movie. It's not too long. Which is, I guess, a glowing review. It's not too long."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Paul Scheer: "[04:30] I wish I could travel back in time to a period where I had never seen this movie so I could watch it again for the first time."

• June Diane Raphael: "[07:00] I feel like on a Sunday afternoon when I was, like, 16, I saw this movie."

• Jason Mantzoukas: "[25:25] Wouldn't that attack never have happened until he started investigating the case?"

• Nick Kroll: "[75:51] My personal pun is killing time has a whole new meaning."

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Conclusion

This episode of "How Did This Get Made?" masterfully blends comedy with critical analysis, offering listeners a comprehensive look at "Time Cop." Through engaging discussions, humorous exchanges, and insightful critiques, the hosts and Nick Kroll navigate the film's eccentricities, ultimately celebrating its place in cinematic history as a quintessential "so-bad-it's-good" movie.

Transcript

[Paul Scheer]

Now streaming, Academy Award winner Michelle Yeoh takes command. Gather your people. We're gonna need every one of them in Section 31, a new Star Trek original movie on Paramount. Plus, Section 31 is just a place.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

For people to bend the rules.

[June Diane Raphael]

Starfleet is here to make sure no one commits murder.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What a cute idea.

[Paul Scheer]

This is chaos. Let's get messy. Don't miss Star Trek section 31. Now streaming exclusively on Paramount. At Verizon, anyone can trade in their old phone for a new one on us with unlimited ultimate, which means everyone in your family could get a new phone and stay on your family plan. Keeping you close. Hey, mom, you seen my toothbrush?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, I'm almost done with it.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, maybe too close.

[Paul Scheer]

Trade in and additional terms apply. See verizon.com for details. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn you'll be able to reach people who do. Get a $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply.

[Paul Scheer]

LinkedIn the Place to Be to Be.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It'S a 1994 time travel movie that manages to spend most of its time in the year 1994. We saw time Cop so you know what that means. Now it's time Remix.

[Nick Kroll]

How did Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin to Kelly? Or maybe see a burlesque show? Wouldn't it crow and take a bubble speech on hitting cruise control? J man Big Paul and the beautiful.

[Paul Scheer]

Jewel gonna take you from the goob.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All the way to the room Ran.

[Nick Kroll]

The games of Street Fighter Help to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Blow off steam just to sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green Sharp.

[Nick Kroll]

NATO the bird Demic how we staying.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Alive they call it in the badass and he's on the line cranking 88.

[Nick Kroll]

Minutes cause they cool as ice cause the bad Jim Vonnie looking kind and.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice Paul and June getting literal Jason is getting laid June is making sure.

[Paul Scheer]

All the monkey shots getting paid they're.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jud a bunch of movies while they making the grade Here's a real question for you. How did this get made? Hello people of Earth.

[Paul Scheer]

That's a good look.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And hello people of Austin, Texas. Wow, we are so excited to be here at the Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas with so many goddamn people. It's beautiful. This is amazing night. We have a great, great show. A movie that talks about the future in a way that I probably didn't even realize how prescient it was. But we have a lot to get into tonight. A lot of splits to talk to, a lot of hair to talk about. And to join me as always, please welcome Jason Mantzoukas. What's up, jerks? Welcome, welcome, Jason.

[Paul Scheer]

How are you doing? Balcony. That's right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a deep. It's a very deep balcony up there. There are people.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't want to. I don't want to blow you up. I don't want to blow you up. But before the show started, you said if people in the balcony have questions, they have to come down because you're not going up there. Balcony. I will come up there. You said backst. The balcony's full of losers.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That was between you and I, the way I separate the people down here. Oh, those are my.

[Paul Scheer]

Brought me back there. And you said check out the balcony.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Balcony people are my people. Look, I just won't go up there because I'm out of shape. Jason Time Cop did this. Is this a movie that.

[Paul Scheer]

I wish I could travel back in time to a period where I had never seen this movie so I could watch it again for the first time. Nine guys. This is a pretty great one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm very excited about this movie and we'll talk about it a lot, obviously.

[Paul Scheer]

I hope so.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But it.

[Paul Scheer]

I hope we spend conservatively the next 90 minutes talking about it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It really could go anywhere at this point. We could kick into literature. Great literature. Merman Melville, food.

[Paul Scheer]

Four more authors. E.E.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Cummings.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, yeah, no punctuation. Everything's lowercase.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tom Clancy and of course Lee Child. The four biggest authors of our generation. Lee Child, the Jack Reacher author.

[Paul Scheer]

Yep.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of course. Classics of all. But joining us here tonight to talk about this movie some more, my other co host, please welcome June Diane Rayfield. Look at this.

[Paul Scheer]

What's that sign say?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's that sign? Bring that sign. It says thank you, ZP and J. Fireworks says thank you, ZP and J. The Zooks, Paul and June. It's a beautiful firework.

[June Diane Raphael]

I love that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, thank you.

[June Diane Raphael]

Look at that, that's beautiful.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Look at that, that's beautiful.

[Paul Scheer]

What the fuck did the rest of.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you for bringing gifts. The only one who brought gifts.

[Paul Scheer]

You fucking dicks.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's why you're in the balcony.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow. Really going to town on those balcony.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know, I feel like a balcony person on the inside.

[Paul Scheer]

Come on. We're at a live podcast taping. We're all balcony people.

[June Diane Raphael]

Fair enough.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is one step away from Comic Con. June. How. How do you feel about Time Cop? I would imagine. Well, before we watch it, you said to me you had thought that you had seen this movie before. Yeah, and my mouth dropped because of the movie. Very rare, this one. Did you see it before?

[June Diane Raphael]

I feel like on a Sunday afternoon when I was, like, 16, I saw this movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Really?

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It goes against everything I know about you. I know as a person that you would leave it on.

[June Diane Raphael]

I gotta tell you, I enjoyed this motion picture.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Paul Scheer]

Ooh.

[June Diane Raphael]

I really did.

[Paul Scheer]

Very excited.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's not a bad movie.

[Paul Scheer]

I would argue it's a great movie with a bad lead.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's, by the way, become great.

[Paul Scheer]

A very dear friend. Very dear friend.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Dear, dear friend. Dear friend of the podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

Ladies and gentlemen, Jean Claude Van Damme. Wouldn't that be amazing?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We slammed him so many times. There's been a lot of speculation. Who would our guest be here in Austin? There's so many great people, People from Austin, and I will say that we picked one of your hometown heroes. I think you know this guy from shows like the League. You know him from his upcoming Netflix special. Oh, hello. From the Comedy Central show, the Kroll show, the upcoming Captain Underpants movie in the house, please welcome Nick Crow.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, well, well, well, well, well.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Welcome, Nick. Welcome back. How did this get made? All star, indeed. You've been here for one of. One of the first movies we ever did. Glitter and just op. It is the first.

[Paul Scheer]

Is that episode one? I believe it is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

And this is great because you are here on the final episode. Yeah, that's it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We're packing it in after tonight.

[Paul Scheer]

Dunzo. It's a wrap.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nick, where did you fall in this movie? Did you see this movie as a kid?

[Nick Kroll]

I did not. I'd never seen this movie, but now that I've watching it made me feel. Feel like a kid again.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This movie, like, we all agree, it's not a bad. It's not a bad movie.

[Nick Kroll]

I kind of enjoyed it.

[Paul Scheer]

It's. It's a good movie and it's also a very well done movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

They spent a lot of money on this. It is shot very well. Like, for a. What would normally be where I would put these movies into the categories of the street fighters and the kumite. Thank you, Bloodsport. The other JCVD movies, like, low production values. This movie feels enormous.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's the thing. Like, I. I don't remember how many JCVD movies I've seen.

[Paul Scheer]

Like four, conservatively. When you say four or five.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't know. I forget all the movies, but June.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Didn'T even remember we were doing a podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

June, could you name three movies that we've ever.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, but I don't have space in my brain for all of these horrible movies, but I do feel like JCVD is doing some of the best work I've seen him do in this motion picture.

[Paul Scheer]

I agree. I really do. Yes. You'll get no argument here, but imagine if you will.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

This exact movie, all the same players. Ron Silver, fucking crushing it. Just amazing. Absolutely fucking magic. You know, Bruce McGill, just crushing. Like all these great characters. Now imagine if instead of jcvd, it's Kurt Russell.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That becomes a great movie.

[Paul Scheer]

That's a fucking rad movie. Right.

[Nick Kroll]

One could argue that JCVD stole Kurt Russell's hair. For the.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's what's weird about his hair.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, let's get right into it. Let's get straight to hair. But I.

[June Diane Raphael]

As time moves forward, his hair goes backward in time. It's very strange. Well, his hair regresses.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, he grows. I think what you would call a sympathy mullet, or. I think it's a grief mullet.

[Paul Scheer]

I think it's a grief mullet.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A grief mullet. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

He's like. He wants women to know, I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready for this. I'm not there yet. So, like an animal that grows an appendage to dissuade a lover. That's what he's done to force women.

[Nick Kroll]

To be like, I'm so sad about the passing of my wife. I'm going to blow dry my hair for conservatively 45 minutes every morning.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I do think that the person who makes this movie is Ron Silva.

[Nick Kroll]

I mean, actor activist Ron Silver, all day, every day.

[Paul Scheer]

Ron Silver.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, he. Actor, actor, activist Ron Silver. So he.

[Paul Scheer]

When you.

[Nick Kroll]

He's. He's since passed away. He did. But when you. By the end of his life, he was very political and a pretty serious Republican. And whenever you see his CHY run, it always said actor activist Ron Silver. And when I was, like, about five, 10 years ago, I was with a group of people for a weekend, and we went into his Wikipedia and changed it to actor activist Ron Silver.

[Paul Scheer]

Ah, you little scamp. You know, are you the person that keeps changing my name on Wikipedia to Jeffrey character Wheaties? You little scamp.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That is actually. That is Stellan Skard, who's getting back for getting back press for changing his name for Stellan Skateboard on Wikipedia.

[Paul Scheer]

Were you with me when we were then in an elevator with Stellan Skarsgard, and I was like, do I tell him?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No way. No, sir.

[Paul Scheer]

Tell him that. It's not one bit that we, I believe, are the reason that his Wikipedia was locked.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Because so many people kept changing his name to Stellar Skateboard.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wikipedia was like, stop fucking around.

[Paul Scheer]

We get it. You nerds love podcasts, but cut it out.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So Ron Silva is great.

[Paul Scheer]

I would Mia Sarah great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I feel like I never knew. I didn't know that she was in anything besides Ferris Bueller. When I saw her, I was like, oh, no. Whoa. She's so.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, she's fucking great. Everybody. Everybody's a fucking monster in this movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I love that this is a time when women are very sexy in, like, very big, brown plaid blazers.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like, yeah, they're very sexy with, like.

[Paul Scheer]

A turtleneck underneath it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And you're like, fuck, I'm so hard for this right now.

[Nick Kroll]

Actor activist Ron Silver, I think he. He really revolutionized. He was at the forefront of men shaving a beard to a point, to create the concept of a jaw and chin.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Yep.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I actually will say that I loved how. Just to put a fine point on this, the movie was shot in 94, so, like, we'll do a time travel movie where they travel to 1994. So we save all that money on pesky time travel. And when they're in 2004, we'll keep them in a dark building.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, but how do we tell them about. How do we signal that it's the future? Glue a bunch of. Bunch of shit to the outside of cars. That'll be everything. And they only. A bunch of, like, plastic shit to the outside of regular cars.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They only had two cars that they could do that to. And whenever you saw the cars, they were by themselves on the road. It was like, no other car in sight but Ron. Actor, activist, Actor, activist. I love the way that 1994 Ron Silva played himself. Like a. I'm a real wimp and a nerd. And then 2004 was like, shut up, you fucking idiot. It was. He was doing Fassbender E. Fassbender before that was popular. Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

I wonder, though. Go ahead.

[Paul Scheer]

No, go ahead.

[Nick Kroll]

I was gonna say that. You know what? I don't even want to do the fucking podcast anymore.

[Paul Scheer]

Ladies and gentlemen, Jean Claude Van Damme.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I just want to say no, this.

[Nick Kroll]

Podcast is my favorite of all the podcasts.

[Paul Scheer]

You did say backstage. You did say backstage, Nick, that you can do those splits?

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I can do the splits.

[June Diane Raphael]

Now. Listen, listen. You know, look, I don't like seeing a man do a spl. I don't like it. And they've said it before.

[Paul Scheer]

Why again? What was the reason?

[June Diane Raphael]

It's unnatural to me. That may be controversial and I'm okay with that.

[Paul Scheer]

Watching Olympic gymnastics.

[June Diane Raphael]

I admire it and I tip my hat to it. I'd rather not see it again.

[Paul Scheer]

That's right, because you only wear a hat when you watch the Olympics. You're Olympic watching hat.

[June Diane Raphael]

Actually, in this film, when JCVD did a split to get out of a tricky situation, there was a reason for that.

[Paul Scheer]

An earned split.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was an earned split and I appreciated it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, let's take a look at the earned split right here.

[Paul Scheer]

And by the way. By the way, these buns are on fire. Boom. Look at.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Keep that split going for one more shot.

[Paul Scheer]

Look at that.

[Nick Kroll]

It's hot.

[Paul Scheer]

That is fucking badass.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, dude.

[Paul Scheer]

By that, I mean a great ass.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I have to say, like, I do feel that this movie was a transition to Jean Claude a little bit because he's not, like, laying into the splits. He's not laying into.

[Nick Kroll]

Bar. The acting.

[Paul Scheer]

No. Are you kidding? The second scene of the movie is a sex scene that starts on his ass.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, starts.

[June Diane Raphael]

I have to say, I felt like I saw inside his asshole in that shot. Did I?

[Paul Scheer]

And I was into it. Yeah, I was into it.

[Nick Kroll]

I. When that. When that scene started, I literally. I was alone in my room watching the movie. I went, oh, my.

[Paul Scheer]

I was watching it on a plane. And I was like, yeah, well, the movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The movie has. I guess I would if I was to label one problem with it. It just does these hard cuts. So it's like, here they are. They're. You know, they're being cute on the elevator. They're kind of saying, like. Like, let's go spend the day inside. And it's like, we both have the afternoon off.

[Paul Scheer]

Why don't we go and practice some.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of those words you seem to like so much. Right? Kaboom. Oh, that's nice. Hard cut to exterior. Asshole.

[Paul Scheer]

Kaboom.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, immediately.

[Paul Scheer]

Candles. Candles. Midday candles. Don't need them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You are. You are right, June. You are getting very close to. Sorry. Have told the children in the audience to aver.

[Paul Scheer]

This is not safe for work, guys.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, he.

[Paul Scheer]

Look at that. Look at this angle. Am I kissing at the wrong angle? This appears to be a 45 degree angle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No one is enjoying that kiss. It's like she's on an elevator going up and he's going down and they're trying to.

[Paul Scheer]

That is an X. That's an X. They are at opposite mouth. What's happening now? Imagine Kurt Russell.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I just keep dating.

[Paul Scheer]

Also, he is a policeman. I'm not sure what she does. They live in a straight up mansion.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a little dilapidated.

[Paul Scheer]

It's a little dilapidated, but it's enormous, I feel.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I don't know why I think this. So we know she likes to build birdhouses. Are we supposed to extrapolate that she also likes to build real houses?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Cause the birdhouse was in the shape.

[June Diane Raphael]

Of their house, their actual house.

[Nick Kroll]

What if in the middle of a movie, a, like huge bird just flew into the house?

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, I'm into it and.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like the camera pulls out and it's like a little boy, like, this is my house.

[Paul Scheer]

And Jean Claude Van Damme has to fight a giant bird. The third act is him versus giant bird.

[Nick Kroll]

Or he has to fight. Fuck that bird.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

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[Paul Scheer]

Now streaming Academy Award winner Michelle Yeoh takes command. Gather your people. We're gonna need every one of them. In Section 31, a new Star Trek original movie on Paramount. Section 31 is just a place for.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

People to bend the rules. Starfleet is here to make sure no one commits murder. What a Cute idea.

[Paul Scheer]

This is chaos. Let's get messy. Don't miss Star Trek section 31. Now streaming exclusively on Paramount. Plus.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

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[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, the segue from birdhouse making to love making is clunky.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Well, it also presumes that they're just like blasting each other in the backyard and they don't live here in like a remote area.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But again, like the. But you could pick anything that he's watching. He's watching a videotape of him and his wife in better times before she was murdered. And spoiler alert. Yeah, but, but you could pick any moment. It's so odd to be like, oh yeah, we'll just have him. He'll watch the videotape of when he was videotaping her building a birdhouse. What? Like he would never be like, oh.

[Paul Scheer]

You'Re building a birdhouse.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Let me get my.

[Paul Scheer]

Also, is there second sex tape he's really watching. The birdhouse is just the prologue to his sex tape. Which makes no mistake, Paul, that scene is about him jerking off.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I. I was gonna, I was thinking.

[Paul Scheer]

He'S gonna jerk off. He's gonna watch himself plow his wife and jerk off whiskey drunk.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He drinks, by the way, for a hungover guy, he fights really good when he gets attacked. But like, yeah, he's Rocky horror picturing his sex tape.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So that also makes Me go, like.

[Paul Scheer]

He'S also, like, throwing birdhouse pieces at the screen, and he's talking along with all his own lines in it like he's his. Like he's his biggest fan.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He dresses up like Mia, Sarah, and Exile, getting plowed by himself. Oh, you're so large. You're so large.

[Nick Kroll]

I don't know why. It unnerved me hearing him say his lines.

[June Diane Raphael]

It was deeply unsettling.

[Paul Scheer]

It was crazy. It was crazy.

[Nick Kroll]

What if he was saying her lines and then it cut back to him and he had, like, a long brown wig?

[Paul Scheer]

I'm into it. I'm not. Not into that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The. I would say I'm glad that someone in this movie took a moment to spend four minutes to explain time travel to us like we're fucking idiots. Like, it's like. Like, you know, like, explain it to me like I'm a kid or explain it to me like I'm a U.S. senator. Because, like, here's the deal anyway. And this is where to me, the movie is the most flawed. They go, hey, have you heard of this scientist before? No, you haven't? Because he's been trying to stay off the COVID of Time magazine because he's inventing time travel, which we need because other people are time traveling. Wait, hold on. So the guy who just invented time travel, you're already saying that someone else is doing it, and we never know who that person is. And if they caught him, like, like, that seemed to me like, why don't just introduce.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, time travel exists time travel. Now we need the police force to police it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Who cares? Because you're. You're introducing this thing as, like, this scientist came up with time travel, which we need because someone else is doing time travel. Like, wait, I don't.

[Paul Scheer]

I.

[Nick Kroll]

Like, did we ever meet that scientist?

[Paul Scheer]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

Nor did we ever go to the other base that Ron Silver is using, because remember, they're like, the prototype is still active. Where is it? It's right here in Washington. You know what we should do? Never go there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't bring it up. This is a movie that I seriously. And this is why I give it to take the most points. I don't understand the time travel thing. They get into a vehicle that looks like a mini spaceship. They run into, like, a Stargate wall, and then they're out of the spaceship, just walking, walking, dropping, whatever. And then when they go back, they hit a button on their wrist and they're back in the fucking spaceship. Yeah, like, what.

[Paul Scheer]

How. What's the transition? What's that transition.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's called time travel.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Run, run at the fucking wall. And then that's what it should be.

[Paul Scheer]

Honestly, it makes the mailbox in the lake house look genius. Like. And by the way, we've already seen this done better in a vehicle based time travel system in Back to the Future. How do you not. If that exists, how do you do that? But dumber and worse.

[Nick Kroll]

I kept thinking with that speaking back to the future, that Polaroid that they took, like, oh, this will, like he'll. He'll disappear or turn into Steven Seagal or something like that.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was also confused. Why didn't they pose for that picture?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, he's like looking off to the side like, I don't want to be in this picture also.

[Paul Scheer]

And why does that guy have a parrot?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I'm gonna say if that's the parrot guy, if you.

[Paul Scheer]

If the thing is, take a picture with the parrot. Yeah, put the parrot on their shoulder. Don't. This guy posits the idea of I take pictures of people in the malls for money. I just happen to bring my parrot for me. It's a service parrot. And I get anxious if I don't have my parrot with me while I'm taking Polaroid pictures of people at the mall.

[Nick Kroll]

They originally had a scene where the parrot was in the time travel explanation scene and then he would re. Explain it to new people as the movie went on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I also thought it would be great if they did take a picture with the parrot. And when you cut back to 2000 or 1984, the parrot has a big scar on his face. What happened to the parrot? But yeah, like, that to me is the most, like the biggest mistake in this movie is like, it makes no sense.

[June Diane Raphael]

Were there any for the American government? Are there any upside to time travel? Are they getting anything from time travel?

[Paul Scheer]

They don't appear to be.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, they're just policing it. And by the way, doing a shitty job because in the first scene, he comes in with that black bag.

[June Diane Raphael]

Save my tax dollars and shut down the program.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow, you sound like Ron Silva right now.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

Actress, activist.

[Nick Kroll]

Actor, activist.

[Paul Scheer]

I think that it's because I agree what you were saying. Like, they appear to go into like the past. And in my mind I feel like they would be like tactical in some respect, but they are dropped sometimes into the ocean or onto the street just near the Potomac just to walk to their destination. And they just kind of. He just kind of saunters around. He has no active plans whatsoever. Like, like the, like the, like enforcement Organization would go in with a plan. He just is like. When his ex partner is in like making money off the stock market and then in the stock market crash, he just is like, do, do, do do. Walks in wearing future clothes and is like, hey man, I gotta take you in. But from wherever he landed to here is insanity.

[June Diane Raphael]

Like, well, you have to imagine. I mean, I'm sorry to jump ahead, but he goes back at the end of the movie to. To thwart his wife's murder.

[Paul Scheer]

Correct.

[June Diane Raphael]

He must have been thinking about this attack that he's lived through for a decade. When he goes back to try to stop them from killing her, he's got no plan.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No fucking plan.

[June Diane Raphael]

No plan of action. He seems surprised by everyone who arrives.

[Paul Scheer]

And a good portion of that scene is him running away. I was simply running away.

[Nick Kroll]

I would also argue that he's in the hospital to see Ray Dong Chong. And then. And then he's like looking through blood just like. And he's like, oh, my. My wife. That's right.

[Paul Scheer]

Do you think he didn't remember that that was the day of her murder?

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, well.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I.

[Paul Scheer]

Do you think he'd forgotten about that entirely?

[June Diane Raphael]

I did have an issue with the fact that. That he only went back to save her when he thought there was an unborn child.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Everest.

[Paul Scheer]

No, there was something.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's a cop. He can't do it. Like, he knows this.

[June Diane Raphael]

But then why does he do it?

[Paul Scheer]

Because it intersects with the case he's on, which he didn't know previous to that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Weak.

[Paul Scheer]

No, I agree. The fact that he's never tried to. He can't. He could be like, there's an unsolved murder. It's my wife. Wife. I believe it to be time travel related. Or has it not occurred to him?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I don't think it's.

[June Diane Raphael]

But here's the problem.

[Paul Scheer]

He's an idiot.

[June Diane Raphael]

Then you guys, when his wife is murdered, he's already traveling back in time. He's already a time cop.

[Paul Scheer]

He's about to become a time cop.

[Nick Kroll]

I thought it was Tim Cop.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My name is Tim Duncan, the sequel.

[June Diane Raphael]

To Tim Few days He will be a time cop.

[Paul Scheer]

Correct at that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ten years.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, no, no, no, no. He's about to take that job way earlier. Why not just become a time cop, maybe even two weeks later and say, hey, I'd just like to go back.

[Paul Scheer]

Two weeks to investigate.

[June Diane Raphael]

To investigate this horrible crime.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, my house exploded. And. And by the way, I can't imagine that has been solved because people from the future did it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can I just ask, like, this is probably not even worth me bringing up, but I will. Wouldn't that attack never have happened until he started investigating the case?

[June Diane Raphael]

Whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, no, no. That. No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because why would they. They would never have come back to fuck up his life until he got closer.

[Paul Scheer]

So you think he's so clueless, but it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter if the tragedy befell him regardless. He could investigate that tragedy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I'm just saying, though, that tragedy only happened because Ron Silva. Ron Silva was like, goons, go kill him. But at that point, he had not had the information that his partner was working for Ron Silva. So it's almost like the movie should start out in 2004 with his wife. He meets his partner, he comes back and his wife is dead. And he's like, what?

[Nick Kroll]

It's almost as if the. The logic of Time Cop is flawed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The Disney Hulu Max bundle. The ultimate bundle for an unbelievable price on Disney, explore the new Star wars adventure, Star Wars Skeleton Crew. On Hulu, check out the award winning comedic drama A Real Pain. And on Max, dive into the third season of HBO original the White Lotus. All of these and more. Streaming soon available with Disney Hulu Max bundle plan starting at $16.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit Disney plush hulumaxbundle.com for details. Hey, everybody. Just wanted to give you a quick heads up here. There's something we should all be doing. It's going to improve your life, make every day a little bit better. And that is eat more Reese's Peanut butter Cups. Yes. Think about it. All the gurus, all the coaches out there, they've never said the words eat more Reese's. I mean, that combination of sweet chocolate and salty peanut butter, I mean, this is something that brings people and ourselves joy. That's why there's two in a pack shop, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups now at a store near you found wherever candy is sold and often in my pantry because I love these. You know what? We're spending so much energy on everybody else. Why don't we spend a little bit of that energy on ourselves? I'm telling you people, this is a great time of year to treat yourself to a little something without spending a fortune. And you can do that with quince. All quince Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they partner directly with top factories that cut out the cost of the middleman passing the savings on to you. And of course, they use Premium fabrics and finishes for that luxury feel in every piece. I have to tell you, I've been looking around for. We call it top coat. And they were expensive. Everywhere I looked, it was hundreds of dollars. I went on quints. I found one that I actually loved, that I saw, I'm going to say, in a much fancier store for almost triple the price. And I bought it, and it is absolutely stunning. And you know what? Treat yourself this winter without the luxury price tag. Go to quints.combonkers for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.combonkers to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.combonkers the thing that makes me laugh about this time bureau too, is that, like, at the end, when he saw when he Saves the day, Spoiler alert. We'll get. We'll talk about other stuff too. But when he saves the day, like, he's like, you remember me? Like, and I feel like that would be what time copying would be all the time. Like, wouldn't everybody be confused? Like, oh, you don't have a mohawk anymore.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, or this. Oh, shit.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He must have changed something. I guess I had the mustache.

[Paul Scheer]

And that's what I. That's the trouble I had with his boss. When he comes back and his boss is like, what do you mean? Like, he's about to be the president, blah, blah, blah. And he's like. And he goes, no, when I left, that wasn't the case. And he's like, are you crazy? No. Mustn't this be entirely what your division.

[June Diane Raphael]

Is created to be on a day to day.

[Paul Scheer]

Misinformation is exactly why you have a job.

[June Diane Raphael]

Changed things in the past and it has rippled into the present and things are different now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We shouldn't have president for 15 years.

[Paul Scheer]

It's crazy. And, and, and listen, Bruce McGill is still killing it, but, like, get it together, bro.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

When it comes back that second time, Bruce McGill is like, hey, buddy, glad you're back. And then like in the next scene, he's like, so we're friends.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, that's the scene I'm talking about.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay?

[Paul Scheer]

That's the scene I'm talking about. That's where he should be like, wait a minute. If you're one of my police and you're telling me we used to be friends, and I think we're not. This is what this division is my issue. We're having it live currently, yes, but.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My issue is Even deeper than that.

[Paul Scheer]

Being like, paul, I'm gonna go back in time and I'm gonna explain this whole thing to you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But like that, it's a crazy thing because it's not like it wasn't like Bruce McGill was his friend he saw on the streets. Like, that's my cop boss. I am a time cop. I just came back. He's like, do we know each other? Yeah. You run this fucking division. I'm working for you. Like. But he acts like, huh, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

So you're telling me we're friends?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Because I showed up in the fucking time machine that runs in your office.

[Paul Scheer]

It's like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like it's not like. It's not like he ran into him on the street. Like, no, in the future, we're time cops. You think that you work for Sprint, but you don't.

[Paul Scheer]

Here's the other one. Here's the other one that really bothered me. And I'm sure somebody will explain to me why I'm wrong. In the timeline as it exists, isn't the Mia serra character in 2004 the same woman who he rescued? Didn't she see the older him and the younger him?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Watch that.

[June Diane Raphael]

She had that experience.

[Paul Scheer]

She survived and moved forward. So shouldn't he. At the end of the movie, she was like, oh, crazy day. And he goes, yeah, today was the day I saved your fucking life. Remember? Remember when you. You tried to run away with old me and leave young me?

[Nick Kroll]

I also felt terrible for that son.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Cuz he's like, who the are you, bro?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

He's like, I'm your son. He's like, I don't know about you.

[Paul Scheer]

He has no memory of the first 10 years of that child's life. Dad, remember when I learned to ride a bike?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, sure, man.

[Paul Scheer]

This is great. That kid's therapy as an adult is gonna be crazy. I just feel like my dad never knew me. Why? Cause he mostly was a time cop and wasn't really in the reality of my childhood.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is. By the way, I wanna just talk about this kid.

[Nick Kroll]

What about the wood paneling on that future car?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's like a Winnebago. It is. This is the shittiest. Whoever was the set designer for this movie, Boo. Boo hoo on you. Here is this end scene. We'll just play it for a second, dad. By the way, I want to pause it for a second.

[Paul Scheer]

They dress the kid. They dress the kid.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why did they dress him like that?

[Paul Scheer]

Is that what they're doing? He's basically wearing a Version of what JCVD is wearing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's wearing a long sleeve sleeve white polo. A long sleeve button down with an ill fitting vest.

[Paul Scheer]

Now watch, watch.

[June Diane Raphael]

I've never seen so many layers.

[Paul Scheer]

Watch the reverse boom.

[Nick Kroll]

By the way, I genuinely.

[Paul Scheer]

White underneath, long sleeve on top. And it's a jacket.

[Nick Kroll]

I genuinely think he looks cool right there. Like I would wear that outfit.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This outfit? The outfit of the time cop. Shouldn't it be more nondescript like you? You would think he shouldn't be wearing something that like, signifies that he's a cop. He shouldn't he just be fitting in? Because that doesn't.

[Paul Scheer]

Why, when they send them back, don't they send them back in period specific clothes so they can blend in?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

You know what I mean? It's not like they're invisible in the past.

[Nick Kroll]

It's almost as if the logic of time cop is flawed, but that.

[Paul Scheer]

We're gonna figure it out.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, we are gonna figure it out.

[Paul Scheer]

We're gonna crack this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's my question. So what, like if. Okay, so if Ron Silver. Well, it wasn't Ron Silver. So if his partner had died in 1929 or. Or whatever it was, but if he had gone back as a person from 1994. Is he dead in 1994?

[Paul Scheer]

Who? The partner.

[June Diane Raphael]

Whoever the partner is. Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

You're saying if he leaves 1994 and goes to 1930 and diesel. Right, yes, he will have died in 1994.

[June Diane Raphael]

So he'll still live from 1930 to 1994.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, no, he died in 19.

[Paul Scheer]

Died in 1930.

[June Diane Raphael]

But my problem is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was born.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, we're in it. We're in it. I love this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was born, say in like 1974.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, really? You think 74? You think that guy's 20 years old?

[Nick Kroll]

He's the youngest goddamn time cop on the force.

[Paul Scheer]

Baby, baby Time cop. Listen up. Baby. Time cop. Time kid. Time, time kid. So. So he's 20 years old. He goes back in time. If he.

[June Diane Raphael]

If he. He stays as a person who's.

[Paul Scheer]

If he stays alive, he will live his natural life in the past until he dies, but he will still always die in 1994. If he dies in the past, he.

[June Diane Raphael]

Still has a couple good years.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no. He falls out of a building. He falls out of a building and perishes.

[Nick Kroll]

Did anyone understand his scheme of, like, what he was. What was he doing?

[Paul Scheer]

He was making money on the stock market crash.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was going there for Ron Silva to buy stocks when they were at the lowest, lowest. Hold on to all of them. So when the stock market came back.

[Paul Scheer]

That'S why he had that day's paper, 1929, and that day's USA Today, by the way.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was holding on to the stocks for a long time.

[Paul Scheer]

They held on to that pan. They were like, circle, pan, USA Today circle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know what I did love about that too is like, they want to show that, you know, he's clearly from the future. So he pulls out a mini disc, which was like a failed thing. That was not. It wasn't Not a cd. It was smaller than a cd, like for a little bit. Yeah, the select few had mini discs. That was like. It's like, oh, yeah, you just dated yourself big time there.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

His team was making money on the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Stock market crash, but then when he was falling out of the building, he hit that button. They landed in the past. Didn't they just smash down into something?

[Paul Scheer]

What do you mean? They were going when they come back to the future? No, because they must arrive in the car, which they do. We see them arrive in the car because they're falling out of a building and then in a car, seat belted into a car. How?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And then arguably they must. The seat belted him again. And then he was like, I'm in a car.

[Paul Scheer]

No, I'm not. Boom. And the act of passing through the stargate, or whatever it is, puts you out into the past, out of the car. And in a situation you have no control over, they are sometimes falling through the air. They are sometimes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I didn't understand. They reference some twin brothers not making it through that passage. So what happened to them?

[Paul Scheer]

They smashed into the wall and exploded.

[June Diane Raphael]

But what did they do wrong?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, time travel. No, I think it's unclear. I think they. It's like. I think they were treating it like the space program. Like in the beginning, people died trying to figure it out. You know what I mean? That's what I felt like they were trying to get at. But the thing that I kept thinking was all of Ron Silver's guys fucking, when they travel through time, they're like, yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. They are fucking cool as ice, right? They are fucking sauntering into scenes from the future into the past. And when Jean Claude Van Damme does it, he's like falling out of the sky. Well, it's not where he wants to be. These guys are pinpoint accuracy and looking fucking badass doing.

[Nick Kroll]

HE LAUGHS the long hair and back shaved side of head with hoop earrings.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Did you, Jason? Did you Say those guys look as cool as ice.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, man.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because one of those guys got turned into ice. Which I think one of the best moments of that movie, when Jean Claude enters into the factory, there's a sign out that says extreme cold.

[Paul Scheer]

It's not like it's so big to the sign.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. It's giant. And you would never put that on the outside of a building. You would maybe put that next to the machine thing. Yeah. Because people seem to be wearing just sweaters in there, or they don't seem to be uncomfortable, but they need to set up that when one of those things pops off, that guy's arm will fly off. Like a.

[Paul Scheer]

Which I loved.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah, it was great.

[Nick Kroll]

This movie felt like Hollywood would got a computer that they were like, hey, we can kind of do all this shit now, you know, like the.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, my parents are away, I can use the computer.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's why there's like a scene with just flying toasters. Like, hey, get out of here. Flying toasters.

[June Diane Raphael]

My question is, if Ron Silver wanted to kill Jean Claude Van Damme, why not do it in present time?

[Paul Scheer]

Or why not do it when Jean Claude van Damme was 10 years old? Old. Why not go back to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are you.

[Nick Kroll]

Are you going to go back to Belgium when he was just dreaming of being a cop in Washington D.C. by.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The way, happy that. I feel like this is the only movie I've ever seen where they call out an accent. Like, P.S. is like, you with that accent.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's like, finally, after all these Schwarzenegger movies, like. Yeah, just say, like, it is abnormal. It is abnormal that your name is like, Rich Matt.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. But yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Max Walker. Max Walker, foreign cop. I mean, it is pretty good. Because that was the thing with Street Fighter, right? Wasn't he, like, supposed to be Captain America or GI Joe type of character, but is clearly from another country, which is fine.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It just, like, just call it out.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, no. And Mia. Sarah, doing great work grounding him as a normal person in the world, which he categorically is not.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can. Can we watch that opening scene where they meet in the mall, which is. This is. I. I think this is. This is the scene to.

[Paul Scheer]

There's never enough time.

[June Diane Raphael]

Never enough for what?

[Paul Scheer]

To satisfy a woman. Ew.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Then you never want to miss an opportunity.

[Paul Scheer]

Are you busy? I'm meeting my husband. If I were him, I would not keep you waiting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's not here when I turn around. I'll go home with you. You'll.

[Nick Kroll]

There we go.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, I love malls. I love Malls where one. When you're surrounded by people shopping, you can just go to town on each other.

[Nick Kroll]

Wouldn't it be amazing? Like, all of a sudden you're watching them kissing in the background. You just see Woody Allen and. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Midler.

[Nick Kroll]

Midler just, like, walking behind them.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, I don't know.

[Nick Kroll]

Maybe we should get divorced.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, like, if all the scenes that are shot at the Beverly center in Los Angeles were just all taking place on the same day, all the movie scenes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I loved her so much. I was so in love with Ferris Bueller that I feel like I've modeled myself after her. Truly. But I didn't understand why her blood work for pregnancy was in the hospital. I'm trying to imagine that she checked herself in for a pregnancy test.

[Paul Scheer]

Also, her blood vial was basically next to Jane Does. Her name is Melissa Walker.

[June Diane Raphael]

Walker.

[Paul Scheer]

It's not nearby at all.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It wouldn't be in the ER section of the hospital. Or that. Well, also, I gotta say that Mia Sarah makes a few questionable choices. Besides the fact of going to the hospital to get her blood checked. Climbing to the top of her house.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. In Driving Rain.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay. The main question I have for her is those socks.

[Paul Scheer]

Why when old. Why when old John Claude Van Damme gets there. Right. Why isn't he, like, put all your clothes on. Cause you're definitely going outside. Like, don't bother with everything. You're. Put clothes on now. We gotta get out of here.

[Nick Kroll]

And whatever you do, don't tell me, a time cop, that I'm here.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Keep him upstairs. Me, the man who's about to take a job as a time cop. I bet I wouldn't get it.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

By the way, how about this? Hold on to this gun, just in case you might need it.

[Paul Scheer]

Yep.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Simplest thing you could possibly do.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nope.

[Paul Scheer]

Bad guys are about to be here. Don't ask me if I have a plan. I don't. I'm gonna freestyle this. P.S. the last time this happened, you died. But you know what? I'm doing the best I can. I'm foreign. I don't know what's up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And he starts it, and he like. And he's so proud of his plan. Cause he goes outside the house. He, like. That guy comes in, he's like, poof.

[Paul Scheer]

Poof.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And he's like, ha, ha. I got the shotgun. And then they immediately defeat him.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's so proud.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why doesn't she recognize him?

[Paul Scheer]

Why does it.

[June Diane Raphael]

I mean, he has the same face.

[Nick Kroll]

Did you see his hair?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

I guess it's about an inch or two longer.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has the same face.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The more.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, it's clearly not.

[Nick Kroll]

She's like, I can't see the back of your neck. Here's what I want to know my husband.

[Paul Scheer]

When he. When she sees him in the mall in that scene, and she's freaked out. I'm like, okay, she's freaked out. It's. It's not him. It's him. Okay, whatever. Great. Then they make out, and I'm like, that's not your husband yet. This is like, isn't she cheating on him with him?

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm not as worried about that. I just feel like I'm not as worried about it.

[Paul Scheer]

Cuz if. If you don't. Okay. Is this a problem? Problem? What if young. What if 94 Jean Claude Van Damme turned the corner and saw her making out with 2004 Jean Claude Van Damme? Do you think he has a right to be mad?

[June Diane Raphael]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

K. Isn't he? Like, I know it's me, but it's not really me.

[Nick Kroll]

What if Paul returned from the future with a grief mullet?

[Paul Scheer]

She should have married.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

First of all, I feel like, no way that she. She could recognize me because I don't have anything distinguishing, like a big accent or anything like that.

[June Diane Raphael]

And I also feel like it's just kissing.

[Paul Scheer]

What? It's just kissing. Who cares? That's 100% a T shirt. It's just kissing.

[Nick Kroll]

What if she was like, he's like, it's me from the future. And then she was like, let me see those cheeks.

[June Diane Raphael]

Here's my question. Why doesn't he say to her, call your husband. We're not even gonna go back to the house?

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Let's make a plan together.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's make a plan to go to, like, a police station or somewhere we can meet.

[Paul Scheer]

Or why doesn't he go talk to Bruce McGill and be like, okay, this thing you're setting up, I'm in the middle of it. Like, let's figure this shit out. Also, I feel like the minute she sees him in the mall and he has that mullet, she should know she's dead. Like, she should be like, there's not.

[June Diane Raphael]

A world in which I say, okay to this.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, no, I would never let this happen. That, ergo, I am passed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know that you guys are saying that it's hard for her to recognize her husband. I would say the thing that really is hard to recognize is when Ron Silva sees Ron Silva, and it's like, who are you?

[Paul Scheer]

You keep saying Ron. Ron Silva.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And it's Silver.

[Nick Kroll]

Silver.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I always thought it was Silva.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, like, Ron Silva. You know. You know, the Brazilian actor Ron Silva.

[Paul Scheer]

You.

[June Diane Raphael]

You've been saying it with, like, a Long island accent.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah. It's pretty.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Maybe. You know what? I bet you. Which it has a lot to do with it because I've only heard his name talked about when I was a kid, which is weird.

[Nick Kroll]

You see that new Paulie. Hey, Paulie. You see that Ron Silva movie?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, my God. You.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That has to be it. I always thought that his name was Ron Silver.

[Nick Kroll]

Ryan Silva.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But you pronounce it Ron Silva.

[Nick Kroll]

Dude. Act. ACT Activist Ron Silva, though.

[Paul Scheer]

But that's. It should be president, Dude. I feel like you get a pass, Paul, because you get everybody's name right all the time.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Paul Scheer]

Is really.

[Nick Kroll]

But I like how we were all like, fine. We're like.

[June Diane Raphael]

I wasn't going to say. I was going to bring it up later for sure.

[Nick Kroll]

Can we talk about.

[Paul Scheer]

And both Jude and I have a number of times said Ron Silver.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And I was like, they're wrong.

[Paul Scheer]

I think you thought we were wrong.

[Nick Kroll]

Can we. Since we're on this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm honoring his memory by pronouncing his name correctly.

[Nick Kroll]

Since we're on the subject of actor activist Ron Silva, can we talk about his nut work?

[Paul Scheer]

Wikipedia's gonna have to lock his page.

[Nick Kroll]

His nut work.

[Paul Scheer]

Nut work. Okay, okay, okay. You guys know how I feel about wet mouth sounds. Him eating nuts in that future car was making me gag.

[Nick Kroll]

Holding his own little. Like his own little porcelain. Not porcelain. His own little crystal ball of nuts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He. Yeah, there. By the way, he's in a limo that. The inside does not match the outside. No, he is in, like, a. Like, Winnebago on the inside, where all the light seems to be just white. But this is. We'll just play the scene because this is a great little scene that is. Yeah. Here we go.

[Paul Scheer]

Elections are won with television. You don't need the press. You don't need endorsements. You don't even need the truth. You need money. So tell me, how much is it gonna cost to buy the network time? I need $50 million. $50 million. Agent Walker's already cost me that much. Okay. I'm gonna have old Chapman and a Chatham. Not quite Steve Buscemi. When I was wearing headphones, the mouth sounds were just impenetrable.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I feel like. I feel like Ron Silva.

[Paul Scheer]

You feel like him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I feel like when, like, Ron went over the craft service table Was like, I'm bringing this into the scene.

[Nick Kroll]

And I feel like a young Brad Pitt was watching. Just being like, that's how you do it.

[Paul Scheer]

That's how you act.

[Nick Kroll]

That's how you do it.

[Paul Scheer]

He's like, the mistake he made was. It's nuts. It should be shrimp. And then Ocean's Eleven. Boom. Shrimp cocktail. Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

The best. I love it.

[Paul Scheer]

Just shoveling it in.

[Nick Kroll]

Love it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not afraid of, I think feel like this is the movie, like one of the last movies just to have gratuitous nudity in it. Like, they're in the middle of like, some. The Investigation. And again, hard cut to naked woman on bed going, like, with a come hither stare. Like, come here. Like, I'm like, wait, what just happened? What is going on?

[Nick Kroll]

That was. It's 94. It's the height of virtual reality. Right. So it's like that baby.

[Paul Scheer]

It's Oculus.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. It was after. It was like right around the Aerosmith video, probably.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah, I bet you're. Yeah, that's 100% right.

[Nick Kroll]

And that guy, who's not Matthew Lillard, that's who I thought the computer guy was. It's not, right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's not.

[Paul Scheer]

No. I don't know who it is, but.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think his name is Scotty or Scott Bells. I don't know. I'm guessing on that.

[Paul Scheer]

Really? I'm sure we.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is his name Ricky?

[Paul Scheer]

What?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is his name Ricky?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Then it is Scott Bells.

[Paul Scheer]

Nice.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But, yeah, they cut to like, just. Just like, just a crazy new porno.

[Paul Scheer]

It basically cut to a porn. A point of view porno, and then.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They'Re like, hey, knock that shit off.

[Paul Scheer]

But by the way, in articles that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I've read about it, where would that have gone? Where would that. Like that. That character, would he just have started jerking off in the middle of work?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. What you realize is he's watching virtual reality porn at his desk at the TEC Center.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Which is.

[June Diane Raphael]

Is virtual reality porn, like, a thing? I don't want to know the answer, by the way.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I just realized something about. About the tec. They put someone. They said that someone to death.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's immediately.

[Paul Scheer]

Immediately you are sentenced to death, to be carried out immediately.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's pretty harsh. Why not just put him in jail?

[Nick Kroll]

It's also like, I was like, where it's a senator who's becoming president. I could never quite understand where he was in his election process. It's like, he's down. He's going to lose the election because he's run out of money. And then two minutes later, it's like, he's. I mean, I know it's time travel stuff, but still. And then they're like, I gotta. He's like, if I can just bring you back to testify that it'll all be solved.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, Right.

[Nick Kroll]

I found that precarious.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. It was stupid.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was what I like.

[Paul Scheer]

Super stupid.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What I like about Jean Claude Van Damme in this movie, too, is he avoids puns. Like, he doesn't actively chase them. He'll dispatch people, and it seems like he's doing them begrudgingly. Like, he. Like, he knocks that guy with the frozen arm off the thing. He's like, have a nice day. And then, like, oh. And then he goes up to, like, Ron Silver, and he's like, I should have said freeze.

[Paul Scheer]

Come on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't. Like. Like, just do it. Just do the.

[Paul Scheer]

Do the line, man.

[June Diane Raphael]

Do it or don't do it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, don't. Don't half ass it like that. Because then the other end, like, he was like. He goes. The guy goes, why don't you have a sleep on it? And he goes, I did. That was. That was his comeback.

[Paul Scheer]

I also. I also couldn't figure out, why don't you sleep on it? Because his intention is to kill him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. To go to sleep.

[Paul Scheer]

That's like, sleep forever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And he's like, sleep on it. And he could have said so many things. Yeah. And now I'm your worst nightmare. Boom. Nailed it.

[Paul Scheer]

Right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Would have killed just like I did. What?

[Nick Kroll]

This is a dream come true.

[Paul Scheer]

He literally gets to go back in time to deliver zingers, which he cannot do. Like, you've had 10 years to think, what should I have said? What should I have done? He's spent 10 years playing that night out over and over.

[June Diane Raphael]

Every night, he must go to sleep thinking about.

[Paul Scheer]

And his.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, he spent all of his time memorizing the lines from the birdhouse video.

[Paul Scheer]

He's off book on that.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What if he just said his lines in the birdhouse movie whenever he killed someone? I don't know why you built a birdhouse. What?

[Nick Kroll]

Let's lay everything out first.

[Paul Scheer]

Anyway, she says, let's start with the most important piece, Something to that effect.

[Nick Kroll]

He's like, the bird feed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I really want to talk about the pasta sauce Terminator. The ending when he. With Ron Silva, where. Where he throws Ron Silva. Where he throws Ron Silver into Ron Silver.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And they become like. Like the T2 from Terminator, but like a pasta sauce version of it. They kind Of Merge. And again, I think it's like what you were saying.

[June Diane Raphael]

Does he have to stay clear of himself?

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

I didn't pick up on that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He can't touch himself.

[Paul Scheer]

He can't touch himself because matter can't be in the same places.

[June Diane Raphael]

Matter.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But if he throws Ron at Ron.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, I liked the reveal that he had gotten young Ron Silver to show up. Up at his house.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. In the middle of the night.

[Paul Scheer]

In the middle of the night.

[Nick Kroll]

Someone said there was a meeting.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, he has enough. Enough forethought to get that going. Good, good. That's good police work, but nothing else. He doesn't have more guns. He doesn't have more of a plan. He's got nothing. He doesn't enlist himself to help. He's like, here's all it would have taken. Hey, I'm you from the future. Don't touch me. Otherwise, we both die. If we do this, we all live. Great. If we don't, she dies. That's what we're doing. His young self would have been like, got it. Let's go, bro. Let's fucking do this.

[June Diane Raphael]

It's like he's scared of his young self.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Yeah, but aren't we all? Well, aren't we all? 2007, Jason Manzoukas running around.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm also thinking about Ron Silver not having good lines, too. It's like, hey, you ever see the inside of a presidential limousine? Exactly. I'll send you a picture.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, she was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She was nothing but kind to him.

[Paul Scheer]

To his secretary. Yeah, to his secretary. Like. Like what he being? I just.

[Nick Kroll]

Like that. He's like, I got a piece of paper. I better go into the past. Just like, not. Not much. Not doing a lot of research. Feeling like I'm a senator. No, I got a slip of paper. I'm gonna go to the past.

[Paul Scheer]

No, he's not. He's in the past. That's young Ron Silver. He got a piece of paper that's like, your old self is about to show up in the past. He's the guy that saw his old self kill the guy in the computer place. He's young Ron Silver.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I just putting.

[Paul Scheer]

We're just.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We're pro. We have two Ron Silvas on the screw. Sorry. Now it's ingrained in me. I'll never change it. Ron Silva.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, see, the guy in the back is the actor, and the one up front is the activist.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just. Just so you know, the tagline for this movie. Anyone want to give a tagline and I'll tell you what it could be. I don't want to put you on the spot, but tagline, tagline. I mean, this is. I'm putting way on the spot.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, no. Don't tell us. We have to guess and we won't move on until we do.

[June Diane Raphael]

Counting down the minutes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right.

[Paul Scheer]

You'll never get a second chance at love.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ooh, I love it.

[Nick Kroll]

I think this might be the tagline. It's as if the logic of Time Cop is flawed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The line the two taglines are murder is forever until now. And then the other one is turn back the clock and your history.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, that's good.

[Paul Scheer]

I like that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was based on a comic book and it was Van Damme's highest grossing movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

My only issue with this movie is I would have liked to have seen more things play out in the present that had been altered in the past. Like the scar on Ron Silva's face. To me, that's a fun way to play this game.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

And there was nothing else really, that altered in present day.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. That you could actively see. It just had occurred in the interim. You know, like Ron Silver goes from losing the election to winning the election in the. In. You don't see the actual effects of it. It just is. Yeah, I know what you mean. And that would have been cool, too. I would like that.

[Nick Kroll]

They did nail a couple of, like, future stuff. Like. Like, he basically walks into his house and it's like a smart house. Like, he's got.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That was actually.

[Nick Kroll]

It's like series, like tv and it go, you know, like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, that was very.

[Nick Kroll]

And I thought they did a good job.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But they also missed the mark, too, by going, like, in the future, water coolers will look like Roman columns. Like they just put like a big water jug in, like an ionic column or something. All right, let's talk to the audience here and see if they have some things that they want to bring up. I'm going to go out here, I'm going to talk to you and see what you have to say.

[Nick Kroll]

Paul just takes off, goes back to 1994 here in the Bare Metal Meter. They're doing a screening of Dazed and Confused.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right, great. I'll start right here because you're the closest to me, the man carrying the Sandra Boynton book. Sandra Boynton, an amazing children's author. Yeah. This is great. You brought this for us. This is amazing. This is a Happy Hippo Angry Duck. We have almost all of his books, and not this.

[Nick Kroll]

You have your own microphone.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, you Always.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. He brought his own microphone?

[Paul Scheer]

What's happening? I mean, I just thought it doesn't work, but. Yeah, that probably works better, but I, you know, I didn't want to hold the mic.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's amazing.

[Paul Scheer]

He.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So he brought his own microphone so he wouldn't be ripping out my microphone. I like your best time travel pun, if you can come up with one. I'll give you a moment. And your question.

[Paul Scheer]

Go to the past. See Van Damme's ass.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right, that's good. I like it. Really good. That's more of a technically. More of a rhyme, but it's still. I will explain. I accept it 100%. Your name and your question?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I'm Andrew, and my question is for Zoox. Jason and. Yeah, directly. You. Yeah, directly. But you kind of took my question earlier because I was gonna point out the hair, the mullet. When did the Van Damme mullet start? But, Jason, you said something earlier about at the very beginning, replace it with Kurt Russell.

[Nick Kroll]

And then you brought it up again.

[Paul Scheer]

In the sex scene, but you never specified who we were replacing with Kurt Russell. Oh, you're saying Mia, Sarah. So I was cur. No, no, I'm.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You're right.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm saying me and Sarah should have been. So then. Then you got me thinking about it and I'm like, that works.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love it on Van Damme. I love it.

[Nick Kroll]

What if the movie was like, Kurt Russell and Mia Farrow in Time?

[Paul Scheer]

Paul, before we continue, can I do one thing?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Are there house lights for the balcony? Briefly, for a second.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They're coming down the balcony.

[Paul Scheer]

Hold on. I know. Here's what I want to do. Who has the worst seats in the house? I want the people all the way in the back.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are you waving your hands up there?

[Paul Scheer]

Two people, a couple in the way of the back.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The way. The last. The last. Right there. The last. Last.

[Paul Scheer]

I want you to come sit in these two seats right here. Okay. So who's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They're all the way there in that corner.

[Paul Scheer]

Who's the furthest in the back? Raising your hand. Are you part of a couple? Are you two people?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, two. We'll take two back.

[Paul Scheer]

Two people. I want the two. You two. That stood up right there. Let's do this.

[Nick Kroll]

By the way, just. Just so you guys don't know this. Jason. There were two people sitting there, and Jason kicked them out before the show.

[Paul Scheer]

And I was like, you know what, fuckos? Not tonight.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, we have a first here at. How did this give me.

[Paul Scheer]

Also, who doesn't show up for their front row seats.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know. They should type cop.

[Paul Scheer]

What if we look down and there's just two people there? Like, it's war.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

War.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, go ahead, John.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Claude drops perfectly into those seats. All right, sir, your name, your time travel pun and your question.

[Paul Scheer]

Name's Jordan. One of the other tag team is a good one. His wife died 10 years ago.

[Nick Kroll]

There's still time to go back and save her.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Says worry. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, so my question is. So he's never met his son.

[Nick Kroll]

He has no memory of the son going forward. How does he figure out the son's name?

[Paul Scheer]

He. I think he looks for clues.

[Nick Kroll]

I think he does what. What I do where I. It's like he's there with Mia and his son. He's like, have you guys met before?

[Paul Scheer]

I feel like he probably maybe just says. Calls him like, boy for a long time.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hey, hey, hey, kiddo.

[Paul Scheer]

Where is the boy? Hey. Where is the boy? All right, are you guys. Are you guys from the back row?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right, here they are.

[Paul Scheer]

No, just go. Just go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just go.

[Paul Scheer]

I'll. I'll send you right back. Back. I'll send you right back the minute we.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They sit down. And that's our show. Good night, everybody. Let me get. Let me get a lady here. I'm gonna. I'm not gonna. Just because of the line. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna kowtow to the line. All right, ma'am, your name, your time travel pun and your question.

[Paul Scheer]

My name is Wendy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hi. Hi. And my time travel pun is. It's me, baby, but with a mullet.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love it. Guys, we're having trouble with puns, but that's okay.

[Paul Scheer]

To be fair, puns are hard to come up with on the spot.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know what? You're. Yeah, you're right. Puns are hard to come up with.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. My question is, it's a major plot point of the story that he's going.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Back in time to get money to fund his campaign.

[Paul Scheer]

But when he does go back in.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Time to talk to his.

[Paul Scheer]

His past self, to convince his past self not to buy out of that chip company or whatever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, the cold fusion company.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. He shoots the guy. That's his partner. So who's the genius?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Exactly.

[Paul Scheer]

How is he planning on making those millions that he.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, that would be like killing. That would be like killing Steve Jobs, Right? And he invented the first. First Apple computer.

[Paul Scheer]

Old man Steve Wozniak came from the future and was like, later jobs in 1984.

[June Diane Raphael]

It also seems like that would have been the first step.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right, let's go back.

[Nick Kroll]

You do what everybody does. Go back to the Civil War and steal gold.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So crazy.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of easy ways to make money if you have access to a prototype time travel machine.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is so. All right, you got. All right, you got. All right, here we go. You got a pun, you got a pun. All right, all right, all right, here we go. Your name, your pun, your question.

[Paul Scheer]

My name's Rob from Austin.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No shit.

[Paul Scheer]

Time travel. Once you've gone, you can't come.

[Nick Kroll]

Whoa.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I like it.

[Paul Scheer]

So you think his dick doesn't work because of time travel? I mean, listen, I don't understand. I'm intrigued by the notion.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You'Re. Cuz you're thinking about so much stuff, you can't get a hard on anymore. All right, your question. That senator guy again. Ron. Ron.

[Paul Scheer]

Mr. Ron Silva may come to us. Why didn't he just play the lottery? Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A very fair question.

[June Diane Raphael]

Great question.

[Paul Scheer]

Easy breezy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, that would be way more.

[Paul Scheer]

It'd be way. Why not just, like. Why not just, like, go back in time and buy a gold mine that, you know is very. Or a diamond mine? Guys, let's all buy diamond mines. The movie is called Diamond Mine, so we bought a diamond mine. I'm spitballing here, guys, but we can work it out. We'll write it together.

[Nick Kroll]

Or why not go and, like, buy a sports book and just gamble?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right, here we go. All right. Here's your.

[Paul Scheer]

Your.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Your pun, your name, and your question.

[Paul Scheer]

My name is Rich. My pun slash tagline is even a broken cop gets to be right twice a day.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's it.

[Paul Scheer]

Very good.

[Nick Kroll]

Very good.

[Paul Scheer]

That's it. Wow.

[Nick Kroll]

That's good. That's fun work. That's wordplay.

[Paul Scheer]

That's how it's done, shitheads.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That was great.

[Paul Scheer]

And my. My comment slash question. The fact that Nick is here makes this flawless. Because, like, you guys, I was wondering how a city cop owns a four story Victorian house in a major metropolitan, you know, area. And we know how, on top of it, Internal affairs is. So I'm thinking in a sequel, IA Wants to know how he affords this. So they want to know if he also manipulated the stock market to buy his wife her dream house. So in the sequel, we bring on Sylvester Stallone, okay, To reprise his role as. As Judge Dredd. He reprises his role as Ray Tango, who was sent back in time to use his knowledge of the stock market to either clear a good man's name or find out if he altered the past to make millions off the books of history. Oh, Time Cop two. Stocks cop. Sounds good. I like it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We were on a journey there. I didn't know where it was going to lead, but it paid off. Well, what if.

[Nick Kroll]

So, But. And imagine if Time Cop had starred Kurt Russell, and then you got Sylvester Sloane.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, you know, we haven't even talked about the internal affairs officer, Ray Dawnshaw. I'm sure.

[Paul Scheer]

Gloria Rubin.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm sure she was shot in the head.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wasn't she?

[Paul Scheer]

Seemed to me that she was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But those were like laser guns, right? So they didn't like.

[Paul Scheer]

Were they laser guns?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They look like laser tag guns. They're like. Like. They didn't look like gun guns.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, so what put her in the hospital?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A laser wound. Laser wound to head. Sir, your name, your pun, and your question. My name is Colin. It's actually a Indiana Jones brand hat. All right, I'll take it. Fedora hat.

[Paul Scheer]

Not a cowboy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nope. Future perfectly tense. Ooh. Okay, great. I just wonder if Jason noticed that by the end of the movie, Jean Claude has erased most of the circumstances of the entire film and reset it so that he's the only one who knows most of what we have seen.

[Paul Scheer]

So it's kind of like, let's see where this is going. And I don't like it. I'm gonna stop you right there. Not a cowboy. And say this movie is unequivocally not a Jacob's Ladder scenario. Nice try, though. Nice try. They can't all be Jacob's Ladder scenarios, guys. But a lot of them seem like it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Somebody feel like they really have a great question. I want to. Wow. All the. All the hands go up. All the hands. All right, well, I'm going to go to the guy in the kumite shirt. Kumite shirt, available on tpress.com. yes, sir. Your name, your pun, your question.

[Paul Scheer]

My name is Michael.

[Nick Kroll]

My personal pun is killing time has a whole new meaning.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Great.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, not bad. So my question is about when they're in the, like, freezing Factory Place and 2004. Ron Silva is basically. He has a quote where he says the lines. This country's gone down the drain because of the special interests. We need someone in the White House who's so rich he doesn't have to listen to anybody.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. When I office, it's gonna be like the 80s again.

[Nick Kroll]

Top 10% will get richer. The other 90% can immigrate to Mexico where they can live a better life. He then kills his old business partner. JCBD says maybe he'll calm down after the election. So my theory here is that we live in a world where time travel exists.

[Paul Scheer]

We know that Donald Trump's favorite movie is Bloodsport.

[Nick Kroll]

He has said this before.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It is totally true.

[Paul Scheer]

Time Cop is right up his alley.

[Nick Kroll]

He has seen this movie. So in another time dimension, Donald Trump is just a normal dude. He saw Time Cop.

[Paul Scheer]

He thought Ron Silva was a genius.

[Nick Kroll]

Then time travel was invented. Some point in the future from now, he traveled back to his former self. He gave himself some stock tips and said, hey, you should run for president in 2016 when populism is sweeping the globe.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, no one could beat that. That's genius.

[Paul Scheer]

Give it up for that guy, Kumate. Kumate.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Kumate Kum.

[Paul Scheer]

Doesn't that feel great?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Everyone can go sit down because no one can top that. I feel like that was great. Brilliant. Thank you, sir. That was an amazing observation. Now, obviously, we have opinions.

[Paul Scheer]

Wait, you're jumping forward as if you went from talking to him straight to her on stage. What is this Time Cop?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This whole podcast is gonna be memento stuff.

[Paul Scheer]

It's as if. It's as if these last few minutes didn't exist. It's like.

[Nick Kroll]

It's as if the logic of how did this get made is flawed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.

[Paul Scheer]

I watch this movie, now I'm done. It's time for second opinions. I went to emma Amazon.com and buns got in my way. Looked at these buns from both sides. Now watch the whole thing and still somehow I love this movie, though. It's bizarre. I guess I'll give this film five star.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Amazing. Amazing. The first standing ovation for a second opinion theme. Holy cow. You are awesome.

[Paul Scheer]

That's how it's done.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What is your name, ma'am?

[Paul Scheer]

That's how it's done. Holy moly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you so much. You are amazing. I'm gonna give you a signed how to get made poster. And then this great book called Great Showdowns the revenge by our guy, our friend Scott C. Who does these amazing drawings. Check him out. Well, the Time Cop second opinions were pretty great. I'll start off with this one by Griffin Dunn. And his name kind of sounds like hangnong man, but it's actually Hagmanon. Griffin Hangmanon goes not a full moment, but close enough to be entertaining. Five stars.

[Paul Scheer]

Close enough to be entertaining. Gets five Stars.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I guess he just judges movies on people's mullets. This is from Dell and not Adele, but just Del.

[Paul Scheer]

I would love it if Adele wrote a review on this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hello. For those of you who like Jean Claude Van Damme, this is the best. Just a great story. For those who like time travel movies, movies like, like It's a Wonderful Life, not technically a time travel movie. For those who like time travel movies, this might be in the top 10. Think about it. All the time travel movies that have ever been made over the years and a Jean Claude Van Damme movie is mentioned amongst them. That's pretty good. Five stars. Well, that doesn't count because she mentioned it.

[Paul Scheer]

You're the one mentioning it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's like saying he's the best actor of all time. Pretty amazing that he's considered the best actor of all time. And then this one's an odd one by Nat Curtis. I first saw this film in the movies and I enjoyed it then, as I do now. It helps people grow beyond a limited view. Five stars.

[Paul Scheer]

Huh? That's pretty. I mean, it really changed this guy's worldview, this movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So this movie was conceived to be a sequel. Right off the bat, Jean Claude didn't want to get into the sequel game, so he opted out. The movie was eventually remade, or they made it in 2000 or I guess a little bit later with Jason Scott Lee, the guy who played Bruce Lee in the movie Dragon, and it was called the berlin Time Cop 2. It also became a TV series that ran for nine episodes on ABC in 1997. It was a Super Nintendo video game. And it was Jean Claude Van Damme's highest grossing movie that he ever did, making $44 million at the box office.

[Paul Scheer]

Really?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

On a budget of 27 million.

[Paul Scheer]

That's not very successful.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was legitimately the three movies of 94. Forrest Gump, the Lion King, and True Lies. And this came in at 31st. Okay, someone, really.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I'm sorry. Our gang reject. You tell him, Paul. You see True Lies.

[Nick Kroll]

What if you looked over and it was just Arnold Schwarzenegger with a little voice box?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Obviously, if you have a different opinion than we have here, you can give us a call at 619Paul ask. That's 619Paul ask. We can leave your comments, your questions about anything.

[Paul Scheer]

And are you still running name 619 Paul Ass.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I don't advertise it on this podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I don't talk about it where you talk about.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, I Do. But I don't talk about it on this podcast. Yeah, I don't talk about 619. Paul.

[Paul Scheer]

Ass.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't talk about it. Let's go down the line. Jason, would you recommend someone to watch.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Watch this movie all the time. Cop. This movie is fucking awesome. It's pretty terrific. It's loads of nonsense, and everybody's chewing up the scenery. I say 100%, go for it, June.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes, yes, yes. And I feel like it's the right amount of time for this movie. It's not too long. Which is, I guess, a glowing review. It's not too long.

[Paul Scheer]

It's not too long. June. Diane Rayfield.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You can watch it on a plane ride. Like, a plane ride from LA to Austin, Nick.

[Nick Kroll]

I mean. Yes. In any number of ways. Yes. And I think it's a tribute to actor activist Ron Silver.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So, so good.

[June Diane Raphael]

And by the way, Paul, when Ron Silva came on the screen, I said. Because I didn't see the opening titles, I first I said, is that Andy Garcia? And then you said, that's Ron Silva. And I said, Ron Silver. And then we never spoke about that again until tonight.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I can't. I really do. I'm obsessed with the fact that I've only heard people pronounce it as a child and it was ingrained in my head as Ron Silva.

[Nick Kroll]

You're like, that's not Ron Silva. That's Andy Garcia.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And before we go, I want to give a big thank you to you everybody here in Austin for coming out. We are blown away by the amount of you that came out. It means the world to us. Everybody here at the Paramount Theater who is amazingly professional and awesome, we thank. Thank you so much. A big thank you to Avril Halley who cuts all of our clips here. You can follow her on Movie Bitches on YouTube. We'll see you next time. Go ahead. That is it for our Austin episode. Again, you can catch Jason and Nick in the new Amy Poehler Will Ferrell movie the House, and make sure if you have any questions, concerns, anything at all, you call us at 619PaulA S K. That's 619P A U L A S K 2 register a complaint, a question about your life or something we might have missed from Timecop. And we will play that in our mini episode, 619p a u l a s k. It's a Google number, so I think it's free to access from around the world. All right, people, we will see you next week on how did this get made mini episode. And a big thank you to Avril Halley who pulled all of our clips. Leanna Waldron who designs all of our cool little designs on Facebook and Twitter. Kelly Alta who just pulls the whole ship together. Of course, our good, good friend Nate Kiley who does all of our research. All the amazing people at the theater that we were at and Austin, they just killed it. The Paramount Theater. They were amazing. We love being there. July Diaz, all the engineers at Earwolf because I don't know which one's editing this. Alright, see y'all next time. Bye. Foreign.

[Paul Scheer]

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[Paul Scheer]

Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the Internet and cable tv or as your mom called me, that sports gal from Celebrity Jeopardy. I have a new podcast called Casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. No stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found, just laid back casual banter about home runs, hockey fights and good old fashioned drama. Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports and entertainment where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports. Think of it as all the best things about sports with none of the homework. So whether you're a die hard fan or vaguely sports curious, Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the SiriusXM app, Pandora or wherever you get your podcast podcasts. And don't forget to smash that follow button. That way you'll never miss an episode. Just try it. You can always unsmash it.