S4 E08: We're Back

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: How I Died
Episode: S4 E08: We're Back
Release Date: October 8, 2025
Host/Production: Audiohm Media

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Overview

In this pivotal episode of "How I Died," pathologist Jonathan Spacer finds himself swamped by bodies and secrets in the eerie town of Springfield. As the facility he works in reveals disturbing truths, Jonathan’s ability to talk to the dead brings painful reunions and urgent warnings. Old friends and old enemies resurface, raising new questions about who can be trusted and what price must be paid for the truth. The main focus is on revelations about Springfield Corp, simmering tensions between Jonathan and Amelia, and Crowley’s haunting presence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Crowley’s Return & Unfinished Business

• Crowley appears to Jonathan as a ghost, sparking confrontation in the lab, and expresses a desire to warn both Jonathan and Mendez.
  • Amelia initially tries to have Crowley physically removed, unaware Jonathan is conversing with a ghost.
  • Crowley hints at the importance of Mendez’s whereabouts: “15 Smith Avenue, Unit 2.” (01:19)
• Crowley reveals his own backstory: He’s Alex Mendez—the presumed dead brother from 1989—and survived for 264 days in a fallout bunker under the Springfield core facility.
  • “Everyone thought you died during the storm.” – John (03:04)
  • “I sort of did. Figuratively, I guess.” – Crowley (03:04)
• Crowley gives context on Mendez’s current state:
  • Mendez is wracked by guilt, obsessing over old case files and blaming himself for Crowley’s fate.
  • “He just sat in his apartment for months, pouring over those files.” – Crowley (04:46)

2. Springfield Corp Conspiracy

• Crowley delivers a dire warning: Springfield Corp is alive, thriving, and sanctioned by the US government.
  • “Trust me, kid. This group, it is Springfield Corp.” – Crowley (06:55)
  • Mendez dug too deep; both he and Crowley ended up at the facility under suspicious circumstances.
• Jonathan’s Crisis of Conscience:
  • Torn between exposing or infiltrating Springfield Corp, Jonathan debates whether to work from within against “the bad guys.”
  • “Is it better to let them do what they want on their own or be a man on the inside to help steer it?” – John (08:48)
  • “But you’re a doctor, not a cop.” – Crowley (09:09)
• Amelia’s Role Revisited:
  • Jonathan and Crowley are stunned—and worried—when they find out Amelia has been released from prison.
  • Tension escalates as Jonathan’s concerns about the facility deepen.

3. Facility Secrets & Moral Quandaries

• Walk-and-Talk with Amelia:
  • Jonathan and Amelia discuss the “Dog Town” sector—a disturbing hallway filled with not-quite-dead “creeps," suggesting the facility is hiding undead or suffering patients.
  • “The hallway just keeps going and going and going.” – Amelia (14:38)
  • “They’re not all as dead and so side as the good doctor led us to think at first.” – Amelia (15:02)
  • Jonathan confronts Amelia: “Do you think that’s funny?” (15:55) regarding her glibness about death and violence.
• Contrast in Attitude:
  • Amelia describes her black humor and fatalism, admitting, “I make jokes out of the darkest things just so I don’t have to feel the pain of taking them seriously.” (16:28)
  • A tense exchange about morality unfolds:
    • “Deep down, everyone’s like me... Your color is red. Bloody red.” – Amelia (16:05)
    • “I didn’t hurt people voluntarily. I’m not like you.” – John (16:00)
• Ghosts & Guilt:
  • Jonathan’s power to speak with the dead is out in the open, causing further friction between him and Amelia, who is both adversary and reluctant confidante.
• Springfield Corp’s True Face:
  • Jonathan finally confronts Amelia with the revelation: the facility is Springfield Corp, still active and deceiving them.
  • “Make a joke about how you ended up working for the same company that killed your brother and started all this shit.” – John (18:44)
  • Amelia is shaken, unable to offer her usual sarcasm.

4. Escalation and Cliffhanger

• Showdown in the Lab:
  • Amelia attempts to test an unproven serum, forcing a struggle between her and Jonathan.
  • Crowley, partially manifest, tries to intervene but is frustrated by his ghostly limitations.
  • “I am not going to let you hurt her with some untested serious. Let it go.” – John (19:22)
  • The situation ends unresolved, with Amelia taunting, “You test it out then. Oopsie.” (19:29)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Do you ever close your hand in a door for that split second before the pain hits? You’re both inside and outside somewhere at the same time. That’s how it feels.”
  — Crowley describes being a ghost (06:06)

• “Hating you doesn’t make him feel better either. So don’t be a martyr.”
  — Crowley tries to shake Jonathan out of his self-pity (05:48)

• “Deep down, everyone’s like me... All it takes is a little bit of pressure to show our true colors.”
  — Amelia, to Jonathan (16:05)

• “You’ve got people around you who know what you can do, and instead of enjoying it, you’re sulking... Boo. I’m trapped here with Amelia, being studied like a lab rat.”
  — Amelia taunting Jonathan’s reluctance to use his ghost-speaking gift (17:00)

• “I found last year that they’re still active. And because of that thing I’m so good at, I got to talk to that scientist you killed last year.”
  — Jonathan revealing the real identity of their employers, and tying past horrors to present dangers (17:55)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:08] Crowley’s ghost appears and passes information to Jonathan.
• [02:33] Jonathan realizes Crowley is Alex Mendez’s brother, presumed dead.
• [04:22] Crowley and Jonathan discuss the fallout of past deaths and guilt.
• [06:40] Crowley warns Jonathan about Springfield Corp’s true nature.
• [08:48] Jonathan questions the morality of working with evil from within.
• [14:30] Tour of the disturbing “Dog Town” — hallway of tortured experiment victims.
• [16:05] Intense conversation on morality, violence, and truth between Amelia and Jonathan.
• [17:55] Jonathan’s confrontation: revealing Springfield Corp’s continued existence.
• [19:13] Struggle over the experimental serum, escalating tensions.

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is tense, haunted, and snarky—balancing existential dread with sarcastic humor. The ensemble’s chemistry shines, particularly the combative yet vulnerable exchanges between Jonathan and Amelia, and the ghostly, tragic wit of Crowley.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you haven’t listened, this episode is a keystone in the “How I Died” story: deceptive institutions, haunted by literal and figurative ghosts, drive the heroes toward uneasy alliances and dangerous revelations. It’s packed with raw emotion, backstory reveals, and sharp banter, all set amid a backdrop of supernatural crime and moral uncertainty.

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Transcript

[Amelia]

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[John]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

Audiome.

[Amelia]

Growly Ah, shit.

[Crowley]

Long time, Doc.

[Amelia]

Get them out of here.

[John]

Alex, how are you? Still here, aren't you?

[Crowley]

Not all there. Sometimes, yeah.

[Amelia]

Guards, escort this man off the premises.

[Crowley]

So, before I forget. 15 Smith Avenue, Unit 2.

[Amelia]

Get them out of here now.

[Crowley]

That's where Mendez is staying in town, in case I.

[John]

In case you forget.

[Amelia]

Look, I don't give a About any of this. Can you just leave me with the lab rats in our chem site? I have results for a new serum.

[Crowley]

So I can get back to him later.

[Amelia]

That's fine.

[Crowley]

Go. Really, don't worry. I'm going to stick around here for a minute, seeing as you're the only person who can hear me, and I imagine you got a lot of questions. It.

[John]

I can't believe this. You said you can see a ghost of an old friend?

[Crowley]

Friend, yeah.

[John]

But she and I will talk in a second. I was referring to the fact that you're Alex Mendez. As in Mendez's brother. The brother who died in 1989. Storm. Alex Mendez. That was a lot of uses of our last name in one sentence. Why didn't you tell me my last name? You didn't ask. It's a pretty important piece of info. He.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

We.

[Crowley]

Me too.

[John]

Everyone thought you died during the storm. I sort of did. Figuratively, I guess. So. Wait. We don't have time to wait. Keep up, please. The safe house you hid in, that was. That was the bunker near the Springfield core facility? It was. How long were you in there? 264 days. I ran out of food and almost died. But you got out. I was rescued. By who? Here's your room, Alex. John, we can talk later. I have to deal with this situation. And you wouldn't want to keep your guests waiting, would you?

[Crowley]

He just nodded the wrong way.

[John]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, we'll talk later. Just. Just stay in here until the lockdown ends.

[Crowley]

He looks like Mendez.

[John]

Crowley, what are you still doing here? How are you still alive? It's not funny.

[Crowley]

Oh, it was a little funny. I wouldn't found Mendes. I just. I just wanted to be near him.

[John]

I get it.

[Crowley]

He was bad off. Before I. Before Amelia killed me, he was planning on getting a new job, literally. Traffic duty or private security or something easy like that. No longer in the shit.

[John]

What was that? You told me to tell him a year ago.

[Crowley]

I don't remember. Mendez started drinking too much, oversleeping. His whole apartment was overrun with case files. He just kept bringing in more and more before he quit. And then he never went to the new job. He just sat in his apartment for months, pouring over those files.

[John]

Your files.

[Crowley]

Everything, Amelia. All the victims from the storms. Anything he could. Anything he could do to make sense of what happened to me. I think he was blaming himself for missing it, too. Or for not stopping me.

[John]

He shouldn't blame himself.

[Crowley]

I know that. He shouldn't be blaming you either.

[John]

But if he can hate me to feel better, that's fine. Oh, boo hoo.

[Crowley]

You always the sad sack spacer. Hating you doesn't make him feel better either. So don't be a martyr.

[John]

Same old Crowley.

[Crowley]

For now.

[John]

Are you feeling it? The pull? That's what I've heard it described as.

[Crowley]

Do you ever close your hand in a door for that split second before the pain hits? You're both inside and outside somewhere at the same time. That's a bad way to describe it. Do you know that feeling when someone jabs you in the belly button?

[John]

Growling.

[Crowley]

What was I saying?

[John]

Just. What are you doing here? Why? How did Mendez get here?

[Crowley]

Oh, I came here to warn you.

[John]

Warn me about what?

[Crowley]

It's a long story. Do you know who you're working for?

[John]

Dr. Iris Lewis.

[Crowley]

This is Springfield Corp. Spacer.

[John]

No, it's an old facility. We're just.

[Crowley]

Trust me, kid. This group, it is Springfield Corp. Mendez dug deep into some shit. They threatened him and he found this place. I went with him to the prison.

[John]

When you were gone, but Springfield Corps.

[Crowley]

They'Re sanctioned by the US government. Yeah, we learned that too.

[John]

Are you sure?

[Crowley]

Mendez is convinced it is yeah, the inhumane experiments.

[John]

But they told me.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Fuck.

[John]

They told me we're here to regulate everything so that nothing like the other storms kill people again.

[Crowley]

Does that redeem them?

[John]

I don't know. No, of course not. It's just these guys are trying to, like, undo the bad stuff they've done, trying to find a cure. That's why Amelia's.

[Sponsor/Advertiser]

What?

[John]

I know. I'm pissed, too.

[Crowley]

No, you don't know. She's here. Out of prison.

[John]

They released her.

[Crowley]

Where is she?

[John]

Crowley. Wait, she can't hear you. Crowley. Hey, wait, I'm gonna. Oh.

[Crowley]

I'm gonna hit her.

[John]

You can't interact with her.

[Crowley]

Try and stop me. Where is she?

[John]

Crowley.

[Amelia]

What?

[John]

You're a ghost.

[Crowley]

I. I know that. Do you think I don't know that? I was just.

[John]

Yeah.

[Crowley]

Will you get revenge for me?

[John]

What?

[Crowley]

I don't mean kill her. Just don't let her lead a cushy life out of prison after what she did.

[John]

What am I supposed to do? Do? If these people are actually from Springfield Corps?

[Crowley]

They are.

[John]

If they are, then they're dangerous. They've got government support, and I'm trapped here. They can do whatever they want with Emilia.

[Crowley]

Can you?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Escape?

[John]

Maybe. Someone here essentially said that even if the scientists are the bad guys, is it better to let them do what they want on their own or be a man on the inside to help steer it?

[Crowley]

So you're thinking of staying or what? Taking them down from the inside? Maybe you watch too many medical procedurals as a kid, Spacer. But you're a doctor, not a cop.

[John]

What about Mendez?

[Crowley]

He's staying at a motel not too far from here. If he can get out.

[John]

I meant, what's he gonna do now?

[Crowley]

No idea. He came here for you, not to rescue you. Frankly, I think he figures you're willingly working with these people. Well, he came to put you back in jail.

[John]

I got that.

[Crowley]

And I'm sure he'll be back. Honestly, this whole thing has been good for him. He's got that spark back in his eye, you know? And once he learns about Amelia, though.

[John]

How'S he gonna find out?

[Crowley]

I'm gonna tell him. Duh.

[John]

Growly.

[Crowley]

That one was actually a joke, spacer.

[John]

15 Smith Avenue, unit 2B.

[Crowley]

What about it?

[John]

You should go back to him before.

[Crowley]

You forget that year of not being able to talk to anyone really takes a toll on you. You think I'll make it?

[John]

I do. You shouldn't be spending your last bit of time with me.

[Crowley]

Hey, spacer.

[John]

Yeah?

[Crowley]

Something. Something sentimental.

[John]

You too. Sheriff.

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[John]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[John]

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[Amelia]

Experian.

[John]

Alex? Alex, are you in there? Dr. John. Look at that. Aren't you supposed to be in your room? What are you doing in Alex's office? Is this Alex's office? Whoopsie. Do you. I thought it was.

[Crowley]

Maureen's.

[John]

Just trying to gather up some old paperwork of hers. Maureen? You wouldn't know her. She passed away a while ago. Actually, maybe you did know her then, huh? Maureen, why don't we just go ahead and say that whatever information we may or may not learn about One another. This week. We just keep to ourselves. What the hell?

[Amelia]

What do you want, John?

[John]

Can I talk to you?

[Amelia]

I literally came in here to get away from you.

[John]

It's important.

[Amelia]

Fine. Have you met Dr. Mitts and Dr. Lamb?

[John]

I haven't. Hey. Hey.

[Amelia]

The reason you haven't is because they are the absolute geniuses working on synthesizing the serum based on my notes from the autopsy. Whereas you are here for no reason.

[John]

You know what? Nevermind.

[Amelia]

Aw, Johnny boy. Don't take it so personal. I'm having fun. Come, come. We'll walk and talk. Keep at it boys. I'll be back for the drugs. So what's up?

[John]

Can we just get out of earshot?

[Amelia]

You want to walk a little faster here?

[Crowley]

It's raining.

[John]

What the fuck? Where are we?

[Amelia]

I call it the Dog Town. No idea what it's actually called, but it's where we keep the creeps. Still working out the name for them though.

[John]

There's so many.

[Amelia]

Many? The hallway just keeps going and going and going.

[John]

Dr. Lewis said they didn't follow any patients.

[Amelia]

She was downplaying it.

[John]

Jeez.

[Amelia]

Of course she lied.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

And then we can go to the park.

[John]

They're talking.

[Amelia]

Yeah, see that's the thing. They're not all as dead and so side as the good doctor led us to think at first. Doesn't make a difference to me. But it is interesting. Makes you wonder about the degradation process.

[John]

That's even worse.

[Crowley]

Cancer.

[John]

K means they definitely feel what's going on.

[Amelia]

Yep. So are we going to make out back here? Think these people are the zombies?

[John]

The people we're working for?

[Amelia]

I think they're scientists.

[John]

Be serious for a second.

[Amelia]

No, you?

[John]

Never mind.

[Amelia]

Okay. Okay, John, I'll level with you. Doctor to doctor. Human. A human.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Thank you.

[Amelia]

Person who's killed people to person who's killed people.

[John]

Do you think that's funny?

[Amelia]

Of course I do. That's why I laugh.

[John]

I didn't hurt people voluntarily. I'm not like you.

[Amelia]

Deep down, everyone's like me, Johnny boy. All it takes is a little bit of pressure to show our true colors. Yours is red. Bloody red. And full of pent up anger. But if you want to pretend otherwise, that's cool. What do they call it? Cognitive dissidence.

[John]

Dissonance? A dissident is like a protester, I realize.

[Amelia]

Boycott the left hemisphere, et cetera, et cetera. Look, you know me. Or at least you used to. You know, I was just hurt too many times. By you. By the world. And so I make jokes out of the darkest things just so I don't have to feel the pain of taking them seriously.

[John]

Amelia, I.

[Amelia]

God, you're so easy.

[John]

Oh, screw. What are you?

[Amelia]

I believe you. You know about the ghost thing?

[John]

Good for you.

[Amelia]

Why do you fight it so much?

[John]

Fight what?

[Amelia]

You've got people around you who know what you can do, and instead of enjoying it, you're sulking and pouting and boo. Boo. I'm trapped here with Amelia, being studied like a lab rat. Yeah, that's right. Dr. Dan's got a big mouth. So why do you hate showing off the thing you're so good at doing?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Me?

[Amelia]

I actually kind of like doing this work. It's freeing.

[John]

You getting to let out your crazy versus me being exploited are not the.

[Amelia]

Same little victim, Johnny boy. See, that right there is the real difference between us. I own up to my shit. Just be yourself for once.

[John]

Shut up.

[Amelia]

There you go. Feel any better?

[John]

This facility is a Springfield Corps facility.

[Amelia]

No shit.

[John]

I found last year that they're still active. And because of that thing I'm so good at, I got to talk to that scientist you killed last year. Maureen Levant. She was a higher up at Springfield Corps, apparently. Coming to kill me or something.

[Amelia]

You're welcome then.

[John]

Well, when I just passed Dr. Dan in the hallway, he mentioned Maureen and her old office as if they work together. And thanks to another ghost who just visited me.

[Amelia]

Crowley.

[John]

The thing I came to warn you about is that the people we're working for might not just be some government agency. They might be Springfield Court.

[Amelia]

Bullshit.

[John]

Alive and active. Sanctioned by the government and tricking us into working for them. So there. Amelia, make a joke about how you ended up working for the same company that killed your brother and started all this shit.

[Amelia]

What the fuck?

[John]

Sorry to bother you guys.

[Amelia]

What the fuck?

[John]

Good luck with her. It's not ready yet.

[Amelia]

Give me that.

[Crowley]

Take.

[John]

What did you say to her?

[Crowley]

Oh, don't open that.

[John]

You're not supposed to test it on live. Code four.

[Crowley]

Code four.

[John]

Amelia, no.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Amelia.

[John]

Get out of there. Amelia. Leave it alone.

[Amelia]

Get off of me.

[John]

Stop this.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

You stop it.

[John]

I am not going to let you hurt her with some untested serious. Let it go.

[Crowley]

Fine.

[Amelia]

You test it out then. Oopsie.

[John]

How I Died is an Audio Music Media original production written by Vince Dejani with layout and sound design by Chris Harris Beachy and executive produced by Michael Freiberg. Theme song created by Silent Mic Music Starring Shayna Waring as Sheriff Crowley Luis Bermudez as Eric Mendes Kaitlyn Roberts as Amelia Chris Harris Beachy as Officer Hart and Agent Squires. Guancarlo Herrera as Alex, Juliet Angeli as Dr. Iris. Also featuring performances by Albie Robles, Anthony Morales, Maya Murphy, June Yoon, B? G? Nar, Nicholas Contreras, Alejandro Pedroza, Mick Wheaton, R.E.M. isaac Monroe, Nassim Enelcore, Nick Bean, Angela Yee, Ray O', Hare, Gauthier Horber, Vin Vox, Melissa Lusk, Dee Dee, Patrick Langner, Robert Echols, Karen Heyman and Tyler rudis. Check out patreon.com howidied for bonus content, ad free episodes and exclusive miniseries. If you're enjoying the show, don't forget to rate on your preferred podcast app. It really helps us get in front of new listeners. Until next time, try not to die.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

There are vampires out there. They walk among you, shoulder to shoulder in the dark. Heading to work, heading home, going to the bar. It's a life just like anyone else's, and I have grown used to it. To the darkness, to the moon, to the taste of blood on my tongue. But vampires are dying out. We are a fading kind, and I am the first one created in so long, and that is a dangerous thing to be. Those who came before me, elders of all stripes, they do not want to see our kind gone, and they will do anything to keep their power. And for myself and for Grace, who created me, that is a sword that hangs above our heads, and the worst person of all carries our secret, and he will use it however he sees fit. Who do you look to when things are at their darkest? From the creators of Park d' Il Haunt comes Woodbine, a podcast about monsters, dreams and changes, those you want and those you never saw. Coming Season 2 arrives September 24th.

Distributed by Realm hi there, Fred Greenhalgh here, director of audio dramas like DC High Volume, Batman and Star Trek Khan. However, my one true love remains all things spooky, and I'm excited to say there's a new season of my horror podcast, Undertow. This season is called Familiar Haunts, standalone horror tales that reveal how the past is never truly gone and humanity may be the most ruthless monster of them all. Here's a sample from the first episode, about a man who returns to the house he grew up in after receiving a creepy voicemail from his mother. Let's hear it, shall we? Mike, help me. I'm not alone in here. I'm not alone.

[Amelia]

She's just walking.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

She's walking toward me. Hear the rest by listening to Familiar Haunts, available on Undertow. Subscribe to Undertow wherever you get your podcasts such as the app. You're listening to me right now. In addition to the weekly releases of Familiar haunts, We have 11 previous seasons with everything from werewolf tales to underwater monsters and creepy reincarnated twins. So get your spooky fix by subscribing to Undertow.