Episode 6 — Returning Without Shame

Understanding the Relapse Stage of Change

In today’s episode we conclude our Change Is Not Linear series exploring the Stages of Change model developed by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente.

This episode explores the relapse stage, or what is often referred to as “recycling” through the stages of change.

Relapse is one of the most misunderstood and shame-filled parts of behaviour change, yet it is also one of the most human.

In this episode we explore:

Why relapse does not mean failure
The cyclical nature of healing and behaviour change
How shame can keep people stuck longer than the behaviour itself
Nervous system responses and returning to familiar coping strategies
The emotional build-up that often happens before relapse
Why relapse rarely begins with the behaviour itself
All-or-nothing thinking and shame spirals
The importance of compassion, honesty, and support
How relapse can provide important insight and information
Returning to yourself without self abandonment

We also talk about how relapse does not erase growth, awareness, healing, or progress, and why many people move through the stages of change multiple times before long-term transformation becomes sustainable.

This episode is an invitation to view setbacks with compassion instead of self punishment, and to remember that healing doesn't equal perfection but an opportunity to return to yourself again and again.

Journal Prompts & Reflection

Where in my life do I still equate struggle with failure?
What usually happens emotionally before I abandon myself or return to old patterns?
How do I speak to myself after mistakes or setbacks?
What would change if I viewed relapse as information instead of proof that I’m broken?
What support helps me return to myself when I’m struggling?
Can I believe that healing is still possible, even when the journey is imperfect?

In This Series

Episode 1 — Protecting the Behaviour
Episode 2 — Living Between Two Worlds
Episode 3 — Imagining Another Life
Episode 4 — Practising a New Way of Being
Episode 5 — The Practice of Staying
Episode 6 — Returning Without Shame

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who may need the reminder that setbacks do not erase progress, and that healing can still continue after difficult moments.

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