Meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time can feel overwhelming. You’re emotional, uncertain, and trying to make decisions that could impact your finances, your children, and your future. The problem is that when you’re in that emotional state, it’s easy to walk into a consultation unprepared and ask the wrong questions-or miss the questions that actually matter.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill pulls back the curtain on what really happens during divorce consultations and shares the best—and worst—questions you can ask a divorce attorney.

If you're preparing to meet with a lawyer, this episode will help you walk into that consultation with confidence, ask smarter questions, and avoid mistakes that could cost you time and money.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why divorce attorneys struggle to answer questions like “How long will this take?” and “How much will this cost?”
How preparation before your consultation can dramatically improve your legal strategy
The surprising question every client should ask their attorney about how they present as a witness
How communication expectations with your legal team can affect your experience and your bill
The powerful question Morgan asks clients that reveals the hidden risks in a divorce case

The Questions Divorce Attorneys Wish You Would Ask

During your initial consultation, asking thoughtful questions can help you better understand your case and set realistic expectations.

Some of the most helpful questions include:

1. How would I present as a witness if this case went to court?

Even though most divorces settle before trial, understanding how your behavior, communication, and evidence may be perceived can help you strengthen your case.

2. Is there anything in my story that could make achieving my goals difficult?

This question allows your attorney to set realistic expectations and identify potential challenges early.

3. What is the best way to communicate with you and your team?

Many law firms work collaboratively with legal teams. Understanding how communication works can help you get faster responses and better support.

4. What can I do to be more prepared and save money on legal fees?

Being organized—creating timelines, gathering documents, and preparing information—can significantly reduce the amount of billable time your attorney spends on your case.

Questions That Are Hard for Attorneys to Answer

While they’re completely understandable, two questions clients ask most often are also the hardest to answer:

“How long will my divorce take?”

The timeline depends on many variables, including court schedules, negotiations, cooperation between parties, and whether the case settles or goes to trial.

“How much will my divorce cost?”

Divorce costs can vary widely depending on how contentious the case becomes, whether mediation is used, and how prepared both parties are throughout the process.

The Question That Reveals Everything

One of the most powerful questions Morgan asks potential clients is:

“What’s the worst thing your ex is going to say about you?”

This question often catches people off guard, but it reveals critical information about potential arguments, credibility, and issues that could surface during negotiations or litigation.

Being honest about weaknesses in your case allows your attorney to prepare for them strategically.

Preparing for Your Divorce Consultation

Walking into a consultation prepared can make a huge difference in how productive the meeting is. Some helpful steps include:

gathering financial documents
understanding who your spouse’s attorney may be
organizing a timeline of events
thinking through your goals for the divorce

The more information you bring to the consultation, the easier it is for your attorney to give meaningful guidance.

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Guide: How to Hire the Right Divorce Attorney
The Divorce Crash Course
How Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community

You can find direct links to these resources in the episode show notes.

About the Podcast

How Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by comedian Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce so listeners can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago