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Divorce is overwhelming. Some days you’re strong, focused, and ready to tackle legal decisions. Other days you just need something — anything — to help calm your nervous system and get through the moment.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, host Andrea Rappaport shares three surprisingly simple tools that helped her survive some of the hardest days during her own divorce:

Target. Alexa. TikTok.

These everyday distractions may sound random, but they can actually help interrupt the emotional spiral that many people experience during divorce. When your brain gets stuck ruminating about things you cannot control, small shifts in your environment can make a big difference.

If you’re struggling with loneliness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts during divorce, this episode offers practical — and refreshingly honest — ways to break the cycle.

Why Divorce Triggers Emotional Spirals

Divorce often creates a perfect storm of stress:

• uncertainty about the future

• loneliness and silence at home

• repetitive thoughts about the past

• emotional overwhelm

When your brain gets stuck in this loop, it becomes harder to regulate your emotions. Sometimes the healthiest move isn’t deep therapy work — it’s simply interrupting the spiral long enough to reset your nervous system.

3 Surprisingly Helpful Divorce Coping Tools

1. Target: Get Out of the House

When you're stuck ruminating about your divorce, one of the best things you can do is change your physical environment.

Walking around a place like Target gives your brain new visual input — colors, textures, movement — which can interrupt repetitive thought patterns.

You don’t need to go on a shopping spree. Just walking through a store, moving your body, and being around other people can lift your mood and help you reset.

2. Alexa: Don’t Sit in Silence

Silence can be one of the hardest parts of divorce, especially when you suddenly find yourself living alone.

Using a voice assistant like Alexa (or any smart speaker) can help fill that space with:

• music

• podcasts

• random questions

• background noise

Even small interactions with sound can help regulate your emotional state and keep your mind from spiraling.

3. TikTok: Embrace the Distraction

Scrolling on TikTok may not be the self-care advice most therapists give — but sometimes distraction is exactly what you need.

When you're deep in divorce stress, going down a completely unrelated rabbit hole can give your brain a break from obsessive thinking.

The goal isn’t perfection — it’s survival.

Bonus Tip: Go Sit at a Bar (Even If You Don’t Drink)

One of Andrea’s unexpected coping strategies during divorce was simply sitting at a bar with a laptop or book.

Not for drinking — for connection.

Bars are one of the few places where casual conversation with strangers still happens. Being around other people, hearing conversations, and interacting with a bartender can break the feeling of isolation many people experience during divorce.

The Truth About Divorce Self-Care

Some days you’ll make healthy choices:

• therapy

• journaling

• exercise

• meditation

Other days you just need something that helps the pain stop for a moment — and that’s okay.

Divorce is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. And learning how to survive the difficult days is part of the process.

Key Takeaways From This Episode

• Divorce anxiety often comes from rumination and emotional isolation

• Changing your environment can help interrupt negative thought loops

• Sound and background noise can reduce feelings of loneliness

• Distraction isn’t always unhealthy — sometimes it’s necessary

• You don’t have to do everything perfectly to get through divorce

Remember This

Your divorce will end.

You won’t be going through this forever. One day you will look back and realize that you survived something incredibly hard — and came out stronger on the other side.

And until that day comes, remember:

You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

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