Podcast Summary
Podcast: How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Episode: Fix the Flirting Flaw that Creeps Women Out (the New Rules of Dating, Part 2)
Host: Connell Barrett
Date: January 8, 2026
Episode Overview
In this episode, Connell Barrett continues his countdown of the “26 New Rules of Dating for 2026,” focusing on rules 14 through 26. The key theme is dating with authenticity, confidence, and respect—leaving manipulative tactics and “creepy” behaviors behind. Barrett offers actionable advice for men looking to genuinely connect with women, using storytelling, humor, and practical tips drawn from his coaching experience.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Vulnerability is the New Six-Pack (Rule #14)
- Main Idea: Genuine vulnerability is more attractive than surface-level traits like ripped abs.
- Coaching Example: Barrett shares stories of clients Tyler (fear of clowns) and Blake (afraid of not knowing what to say) bravely using their real fears as conversation openers—with great results.
- Quote: “Women are not drawn to so called alpha males. They're drawn to men who signal emotional availability. Also self-awareness. And of course my religion, signaling authenticity.” (03:25)
2. Consent is the New Foreplay (#15)
- Main Idea: Strong consent is not a “mood killer”—it’s an attractive expression of confidence and desire.
- Practical Guidance: Frame consent in a warm, sexy way—think “Barry White, not Barry Scheck.”
- Example sentences: “Can I go down on you?” “Should I put a condom on?”
- Accept “no” gracefully; rejection handled positively actually strengthens connection.
- Quote: “Consent or getting consent [is] confidence wrapped in desire and respect, and that is undeniably attractive to women.” (09:00)
3. How Much You Text Doesn’t Matter (#16)
- Main Idea: Quality and intent of texting > quantity.
- Rule of Thumb: If your text is aimed at making her smile, send it.
- Three Methods:
- Be warm and authentic (“I had a great time last night…”)
- Be playful and cheeky (“Okay, I will allow a second date…”)
- Show curiosity about her life (“How was dinner with your parents?”)
- Quote: “Stop counting texts, start asking, will this make her smile?” (13:15)
4. Treat Rejection as Information, Not a Verdict (#17)
- Main Idea: Early rejections aren’t personal—just data about compatibility.
- “A woman who barely knows you can’t truly reject you. She can only decide that the two of you may not fit.” (15:10)
- Mantra for Clients: “It’s not about me, it’s about chemistry. There’s a thousand more women and I have more to give.”
5. Single Dads: The New “Perfect Ten” (#18–19)
- Embrace Fatherhood: Being a devoted dad is an attractive, high-value trait—“It’s a Gucci bag, not baggage.”
- Profile Prompt: Use playful prompts like “Yep, I’m a total dilf. A dedicated, invested, loving father. Gosh, what did you think I meant? Get your mind out of the gutter ;)” (17:55)
- Quote: “Being a dad is, is the greenest of green flags to so many women. It makes you a ten to so many women.” (17:25)
6. Unlocking Your True Charisma (#20)
- Charisma Code: AE + P + PL = Charismatic to Your Type
- AE: Authentic Expression
- P: Presence
- PL: Playfulness
- Illustrative Examples: Charisma is unique; channel your version (like Chris Pratt’s playfulness or Jeff Goldblum’s quirkiness).
7. Use AI as an Editor, Not a Ghostwriter (#21)
- Key Point: Women increasingly detect (and dislike) AI-generated content.
- “AI crafted messages sound polished but hollow and women can tell.” (23:10)
- Best Practice: Draft in your own voice, then use AI to polish—not write—the message.
8. Take App Breaks (#22)
- Actionable Tip: Take one week off dating apps each month to avoid burnout and reconnect offline.
9. Timid is Creepy, Clarity is Confident (#23)
- Main Message: Indecision and hesitance feel “creepy”; clarity feels confident and attractive.
- Metaphor: Don’t be the “typing ellipsis”—just hit send.
- “Timidity feels creepy to women… But ambiguity is creepy, clarity is confident.” (27:45)
10. How to Let Her Down If There’s No Spark (#24)
- Text Template: “Hey, I had a great time with you, but the spark just wasn’t there for me. But I know you’re gonna find somebody as fantastic as you are.”
- Reasoning: Closes door gently, avoids ghosting, and shows respect.
11. Don’t Analyze Dating on Dates (#25)
- Advice: Don’t talk about dating, the apps, or “meta” relationship topics on your first dates. Keep things romantic and playful.
- Exception: The only time to touch on dating stories is via a specific, fun prompt…
12. Best First Date Question (#26)
- Recommended Question: “What’s the weirdest first date you’ve ever had?”
- Encourages fun storytelling, creates contrast between you and “weird” dates, and sets a relaxed, playful tone, especially early in the date.
- Quote: “Sometimes the best way to get a second date is to avoid becoming a first date story.” (32:55)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Vulnerability: “You might not have a real six pack, but if you can walk up to women, if you can be vulnerable on a date…you’ll be pleasantly shocked by how well this can work and how good it can feel just in your soul.” (06:30)
- On Consent: “Be Barry White, not Barry Scheck.” (08:10)
- On Texting: “She’ll want you to text even more. When my girlfriend Jess and I first started talking, we triple, quadruple, quintuple texted each other… ‘cause we were making each other smile.” (14:20)
- On Rejection: “Maybe she wants tacos. And your pizza. Pizza is the greatest food in the world, so don’t take it personally. It’s just information.” (15:50)
- On AI: “If you are using ChatGPT to write your openers, oh man, it’s not going to work. GPT stands for ghosted. Probably tonight if you use chat as your main writer.” (24:40)
- On Clarity: “Don’t be ellipses popping on and off. Just hit send.” (28:30)
- On First Date Questions: “She is going to be juxtaposing you, this grounded, normal, cool guy with the weird dude who showed up to a first date with vampire fangs in his mouth and it wasn’t Halloween.” (33:10)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [01:10] — Rule #14: Vulnerability is the New Six-Pack
- [06:10] — Rule #15: Consent is the New Foreplay
- [11:30] — Rule #16: Quality of Texting Over Quantity
- [13:45] — Rule #17: Rejection as Information
- [16:35] — Rule #18–19: Single Dads as Dating “Green Flags”
- [19:20] — Rule #20: Charisma Code
- [22:50] — Rule #21: AI in Modern Dating
- [24:40] — Rule #22: App Burnout & Taking Breaks
- [26:15] — Rule #23: Clarity Over Timidity
- [28:40] — Rule #24: How to Reject Gracefully
- [30:15] — Rule #25: No Dating Talk on Dates
- [32:00] — Rule #26: Best First Date Question
Summary Table: The “New Rules” Covered in this Episode
| Rule # | Title / Summary | |--------|---------------------------------------------------| | 14 | Vulnerability is the New Six-Pack | | 15 | Consent is the New Foreplay | | 16 | How Much You Text Doesn’t Matter | | 17 | Treat Rejection as Information, Not a Verdict | | 18 | Single Dads are the New Perfect Ten | | 19 | If You’re a DILF, Say So (With a Cheeky Prompt) | | 20 | Unlock Your True Charisma (AE+P+PL Formula) | | 21 | Use AI as Sounding Board, Not Ghostwriter | | 22 | Take App Breaks to Avoid Burnout | | 23 | Timid is Creepy, Clarity is Confident | | 24 | How to Gently Say No to Another Date | | 25 | Don’t Talk About Dating on Dates | | 26 | Ask About Her Weirdest First Date |
Final Notes
Connell Barrett delivers practical, research-backed, and often entertaining advice for men seeking authentic romantic connections. The most resonant theme is the shift from “game” and performative behavior toward genuine self-expression and mutual respect. For those seeking to date with confidence in 2026, his “new rules” are a roadmap—funny, rational, and rooted in real experience.
To learn more or work with Connell, visit datingtransformation.com.