Episode Overview
Title: From Ghosted to Getting Great Dates: The 26 New Rules of Online Dating for 2026 (Part 2)
Host: Connell Barrett
Date: December 16, 2025
In this engaging episode, Connell Barrett—renowned dating coach and author—unveils the final 12 of his “26 New Rules of Online Dating for 2026.” Barrett details innovative, practical strategies to help men maximize their online dating success by focusing on authenticity, intentionality, and playful connection. The episode is brimming with actionable tips, memorable examples, and real talk about what’s working now (and why so many get ghosted). Barrett’s signature tone is compassionate, witty, and encouraging as he shares client stories, field-tested prompts, and useful stats.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Power of "Radical Authenticity"
Barrett frames all advice around the idea that authenticity is the core of effective modern dating. He wants listeners to be “radically authentic,” eschewing gimmicks or pickup artistry in favor of being real, intentional, and kind.
Rule 15: Use a “Friend Fluencer” on Your Audio Prompt
[02:05 - 07:45]
- What It Is: Add a brief (5–10 second) audio endorsement from a female friend to your Hinge audio prompt.
- Why It Works: Leverages social proof. Hearing a woman speak positively about you sends a powerful, trust-building message to potential matches.
- How To Execute:
- Main message is yours (avoid breaking app rules by having her do the whole thing).
- Example: You talk about cooking, then your female friend chimes in, “Oh my god, you should taste this guy’s cooking. He’s fantastic!”
- Memorable Quote:
“If you use somebody else’s dog, that’s canine catfishing.” — Connell Barrett [00:01]
Rule 16: Make Her Laugh to Get the Match
[07:50 - 13:40]
- Why Humor Wins: Women consistently prefer men who make them laugh over those with just good looks.
- Action Point: Include a witty/funny line in your profile and test it with female friends.
- Sample Prompts:
- “I love cooking with red wine. I even add food to it sometimes.”
- “I’m training for a marathon. A Netflix marathon, but still.”
- “Yep, I’m a total dilf, which stands for a dedicated, interesting, loving father. (What did you think I meant?!)”
- “If you like tall, handsome, successful, charming, witty, financially stable, independent men who love kids and dogs and are emotionally available—then you should meet my brother.”
- Notable Quote:
“If you can make a woman laugh, that’s better than having six pack abs on the dating apps.” — Connell Barrett [12:40]
Rule 17: Women Are Attracted to Clear Intention
[13:45 - 17:00]
- The Problem: Vague bios (“just seeing what’s out there”) drive women away.
- Action Point: Be specific and intentional about what you want.
- Example Prompt:
“I’m looking for a smart, bubbly woman who’s up for hate-watching reality TV with me while my goofy cat does backflips.” - Why It Matters: Gives women clarity, allows them to identify with your wants.
- Notable Quote:
“Specificity is sexy to women… it creates vivid writing.” — Connell Barrett [15:20]
Rule 18: Play Up Your Passions (The Rule of Three)
[17:01 - 20:56]
- Triad of Passions: Highlight 1) a social, 2) a physical/fitness, and 3) a personal passion on your profile.
- Examples:
- Social — Photo laughing with friends at dinner
- Physical — Clip playing basketball or running a marathon
- Personal — Snapshot of you playing guitar or doing improv
- Why: Demonstrates you’re dynamic and interesting; helps women envision their life with you.
Rule 19: Swipe Less to Date Better
[21:00 - 23:02]
- Insight: More time swiping does NOT yield better results; average guy spends 10 hrs/week on apps and feels burnt out.
- Advice: Cap usage to about 30 minutes a day (2 hours per week total).
- Benefits: Stay sharp, write better messages, and avoid fatigue.
Rule 20: Take One Week Off the Apps Each Month
[23:03 - 25:44]
- The Burnout Solution: 77% of users report dating app burnout.
- Prescription: 1 week off per month, no swiping or DMing.
- Reason: Apps reward engagement, not actual matches—so reclaim your energy and have new experiences to talk about when you return.
- Quote:
“Apps don’t reward connections. They reward endless engagement.” — Connell Barrett [24:02]
Rule 21: Ask Her Out by Message Number 3
[25:45 - 30:39]
- Common Pitfall: Most guys wait too long to ask women out, leading to ghosting.
- New Rule: By your 3rd message, suggest a date or move the conversation off the app.
- Suggested Format:
- Opener (“Hey, Katie, your dog is so cute I might have to steal him. What’s his name?”)
- Banter about her response
- “You seem charming. Let’s grab a drink or coffee to get to know each other better.”
- Quote:
“The iron is always at its hottest right after you match and begin messaging.” — Connell Barrett [28:45]
“How many times have you seen this on a woman’s profile? No pen pals. Women want to get to it.” — Connell Barrett [29:46]
Rule 22: Meet Her in Six Days or Lose Her
[30:40 - 32:08]
- Data-Driven Advice: 79% of Hinge matches who meet IRL do so within 6 days.
- Takeaway: Don’t let momentum die; make plans to meet ASAP.
Rule 23: Use the “Play, Play, Play, Pull the Trigger” Texting System
[32:09 - 35:30]
- Updated Formula: Old: “Give, give, give, ask.” New: “Play, play, play, pull the trigger.”
- Execution:
- Keep early messages light, humorous, and playful
- After a few playful exchanges, ask for the date or phone number
- What Not To Do: Avoid just asking questions or seeking validation—boring and needy.
- Quote:
“Play is the essence of flirting… but you don’t want to play forever. You want to ask her out pretty darn quickly.” — Connell Barrett [34:10]
Rule 24: Pay to Play on the Apps—It Works
[35:31 - 39:28]
- Stat: 52% of premium users found partners vs. 34% of free users.
- When to Pay: Only if you have a well-crafted profile already.
- Features Worth Paying For: Boosts, seeing who likes you, Super Likes, Roses.
- Analogy: “You’d spend $30 on a date — why not $30/month to get more and better dates?”
Rule 25: If You List “Foodie,” Provide Proof
[39:29 - 40:40]
- Tip: If you claim “foodie” in your profile, include a photo at a nice restaurant to back it up.
- Why: Helps women picture what a date with you would be like and avoids looking inauthentic.
Rule 26: No Fake Dog Pics ("Canine Catfishing")
[40:41 - 41:07 | Call-back to opening line]
- Rule: Only use photos of yourself with your actual dog.
- Why: Using someone else’s pet is misleading and erodes trust.
- Quote:
“If you use somebody else’s dog, that’s canine catfishing… She wants to know that you are lovable, not whether your Aunt Jenny’s beagle tolerated you for 14 seconds.” — Connell Barrett [41:02]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “I met my girlfriend Jess on a dating app, and you can too. (I mean, you can meet your girlfriend—I’m not offering up Jess.)” — Connell Barrett [01:12]
- “I want to help you get more matches and a lot more dates… by dating with integrity and authenticity.” — Connell Barrett [01:22]
- “Three messages, then ask her out. I’d rather you ask a woman out too soon… than way too late.” — Connell Barrett [27:40]
- “Most guys don’t give, they just ask. And at best, that’s boring. At worst, needy and repulsive.” — Connell Barrett [33:30]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [00:00] – Episode opening and context; dog photo banter
- [02:05] – Rule 15: Friend Fluencer
- [07:50] – Rule 16: Humor in Your Profile
- [13:45] – Rule 17: Clear Intention
- [17:01] – Rule 18: Passions (“Rule of Three”)
- [21:00] – Rule 19: Swipe Less
- [23:03] – Rule 20: Weekly App Break
- [25:45] – Rule 21: Ask Out by Message 3
- [30:40] – Rule 22: Meet in Six Days
- [32:09] – Rule 23: Play, Play, Play, Pull the Trigger
- [35:31] – Rule 24: Pay to Play
- [39:29] – Rule 25: “Foodie” Proof
- [40:41] – Rule 26: No Dog Catfishing
Summary
Connell Barrett delivers clear, evidence-based, and entertaining advice on how to thrive in the ultra-competitive landscape of online dating in 2026. His “new rules” are a blend of practical tactics (like usage limits and friend testimonials), mindset shifts (intentionality, authenticity), and creativity (humor, showcasing passions). Listeners leave with an actionable checklist tailored to today’s app-based world, all delivered in Connell’s warm, encouraging, and occasionally self-deprecating style.
Barrett’s underlying message: Success in dating doesn’t require tricks—it requires realness. Be playful, be clear, be intentional, and let your authentic self shine.