← How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
It’s Rom-Complicated! How Nice Guys Can Get the Girl: Lessons from ‘Say Anything’ (with Hollywood Producer Cristina Nava)
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- [00:00]
Connell Barrett
When it comes to love, you just have to take a chance. I think that we should spend some time apart.
- [00:07]
Christina Nava
Oh, yeah? Where'd she dump you, man?
- [00:09]
Jeremy Piven
Her car.
- [00:10]
Christina Nava
Dissed in the mal. Your only mistake is that you didn't dump her first.
- [00:14]
Jeremy Piven
All you gotta do is find a girl who looks just like her and then dump her. Man, you guys know so much about women. How come you hear like a gas and sip on a Saturday night? No women anywhere.
- [00:25]
Christina Nava
My choice, man.
- [00:28]
Connell Barrett
Say anything.
- [00:29]
Christina Nava
Rated PG13. Starts Friday at theaters everywhere. Welcome back to the how to get a girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Connell Barrett. I'm the real life Hitch if Hitch was a skinny ginger with glasses. I'm here to help you flirt with confidence, get a great girlfriend, and do it by being authentic. And this is the second in a recurring series of episodes that I'm calling It's Rom Complicated. I believe that a lot of really great, insightful secrets to how to have a great dating life are hidden within rom com movies. And so every once in a while, I bring on a special guest to talk about a great rom com movie, talk about some of the love lessons and dating lessons in the movie, and also just talk about what makes the movie great. The good, the bad, the ugly. And today I'm joined by an incredibly talented guest. She's a writer, a producer and director in Hollywood. She makes rom com movies. Her name is Christina Nava. Christine has co written movies like Divorce Bait and In Other Words. And her latest film is called say a Little Prayer. It's a very charming rom com and I just watched it with my girlfriend. We watched it and loved it. This weekend it's coming to Amazon prime and Apple plus, just in time for Valentine's Day. It's a really heartwarming story about three best friends who recite an ancient prayer to the patron saint of all things lost to help them find true loves. And a lot of unexpected events happen. So today Christina is here to talk about a classic rom com called say Anything, the 1989 movie starring John Cusack, Ione sky, and written and directed by Cameron Crowe. Christina, thank you so much for joining us here on It's Rom Complicated.
- [02:25]
Connell Barrett
Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to talk about say a little any. Say a Little Anything.
- [02:31]
Christina Nava
It's a mashup. I love it.
- [02:33]
Connell Barrett
It's a mashup of both. No, but say a Little prayer and say anything.
- [02:37]
Christina Nava
I. I can't wait to talk to you about say a Little Prayer. There's a lot to learn in that movie. It's also just a good fun watch. Before we get to that, I'm curious. You chose the movie say Anything to talk about today from a lot of rom com movies. Tell us a little bit about your relationship to rom com movies and why you chose say Anything.
- [02:58]
Connell Barrett
So I grew up in the 80s and I absolutely loved those movies from the 80s. But say anything was, I think the first movie that I remember was where you kind of as a preteen and then teenager, learn about love in a very. What I now know is real. The other movies that I was watching at that time were like other John Cusack movies. And you know, it was like Fast Times at Ridgemont High. That wasn't John Cusack, but also one crazy summer. And they were. These were all about love and obviously Fast Times. The Ridgemont High is crazy love. But. But this one was just so sweet. It spoke to my heart and it. There were so many iconic things about it and it kind of set the tone for what I kind of wanted in a guy, you know, that Lloyd Dobler. Real, real love.
- [04:07]
Christina Nava
Absolutely. I love Lloyd Dobler. I think Lloyd Dobler is, is me in a lot of ways. Lloyd Dobber is so many men. I think the, the, the guy listening to this podcast, he's a lot like Lloyd Dobbler. He's. Maybe he's not the richest guy in the world, maybe he's not the best looking or the smoothest guy. And Lloyd certainly isn't. But he wins over an incredible woman, Diane Court, played by Ione Sky. He's just, he's being, he's. He does it by being real, being funny, being confident and kind of leaning into his, his quirky side. And I just love that message. I guess it spoke to me because I wasn't the best looking, smoothest guy in the world. And it just gives. Gives regular guys, quote, unquote, hope.
- [04:48]
Connell Barrett
Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, Lloyd Dobbler was, was, as you said, I think quirky is the most appropriate. But he was so brave. I love, you know, the first, from the first scene, they're in someone's bedroom and he's with his two girlfriends played by Lily Tyler and Amy Brooks. And he's playing the guitar and they're talking about. He's like, I'm gonna ask her out on a second date. And she and his friend Corey, who's played by Lily Tyler is like, that's interesting. You haven't even gone on the first day.
- [05:23]
Christina Nava
What about the first date?
- [05:24]
Connell Barrett
The first date and we find out that he, he Kind of followed her to the mall at the food court and sat across and had lunch with her. That was his first date without her knowing about it. So. He was so brave, though. And, I mean, it might. It's borders on a little stalker nowadays, but. But he was just so sweet. And you. You were rooting for him and, you know, he was harmless, you know, so I. I just. I appreciated his bravery so much.
- [05:56]
Christina Nava
Well, we're gonna get. We're gonna dive deeply into say, anything. We're gonna break the movie down into what I call the rom comis. Fun little categories and awards that are going to be really fun to listen to. Tips, jokes, all kinds of insights. And I can't wait to hear yours. Before we do that, I want to talk about your movie, say a little prayer.
- [06:14]
Connell Barrett
$3,000. That is a down payment on a minivan. This is when I take my food.
- [06:19]
Christina Nava
So. Great booty beauty.
- [06:26]
Connell Barrett
Amen.
- [06:31]
Christina Nava
Nothing beats a picnic by the R.
- [06:36]
Connell Barrett
When you see a painting and you.
- [06:38]
Christina Nava
Have that connection with the artist, it's magic. I've had that song in my head now for a week. The classic song. I know it's not in the movie. Tell me a little bit about say A Little Prayer. It's so charming. How did it begin? Talk to us about why this movie is so special.
- [06:57]
Connell Barrett
Well, this movie is written by Nancy de los Santos. And Nancy de los Santos was like, associate producer back in the days With Selena was shot in San Antonio. And so she began to write this movie probably about 20 years ago and around the same time. And she. It began with her grandmother. Basically, you know, Nancy was accomplished. She had been doing. Doing so much work as a producer in television, but her grandmother, all she could think of was, you're not married. And so she calls her to her home, and Nancy goes over and the grandmother gives her this prayer to St. Anthony, to San Antonio. And it's the patron saint of lost causes, as you are lost things. Not lost causes. Lost things. And she said, you need to say this prayer because your husband is. So Nancy ignored it. Ignored it. But she thought it was a very funny story. And so she. She wrote it as a short story back then, I think it was. It won awards. She got into the Equinox program with hbo and she tried to produce it, meaning she tried to get them to produce it like someone in Hollywood. But she really ran up against a wall on that. And I. You know, it's. It. It was not like a true romantic comedy. You start off with the. It's more about the friendship with These three young women looking for love and, and they're already in their 30s, so they've lived, they've lived their lives and they're entrepreneurs. So Nancy, you know, it took about 20 years and at the same time I'm building my career and she was, she was watching me now with social media. She was watching what I was doing myself and my husband, Patrick Perez Vidaudi, who we together have been making independent movies and mostly romantic comedies. And so she just asked me to breakfast one day and she's like, how do you, how are you making your movies? And she pulls out this little pad and is about to write down like my what, 10 steps to producing a movie. I don't know. And I just said, do you want me to produce your movie? And she reached over and took my hand and cried and is like, yes, I would never ask you. It's so much work and, but I, I love the story. I wanted to work with Nancy and so she had an army of people behind her, you know, who wanted to see her succeed with this story. And we started there and the first thing was to try to find like that one lead that would eventually sell our movie. And that's where Luis Fonsi came in. Yeah, one of our co producers knew him and gave him the script and he resonated with it and that's where it all began.
- [10:05]
Christina Nava
He's fantastic in this. Every man listening to this needs to see this movie. Not just because it's funny and because it's really sweet. If you want to see a man who's got real character, played by Luis Fonzie, pardon me if I said that wrong. He's very relaxed in his confidence. He's got great style. I love his. Got the right stubble. He's got great style. And there's a fantastic scene that I love as a dating coach. He breaks the ice with the lead actress in the movie, Vanessa Vasquez. He breaks the ice with her in an art gallery. And it's very smooth and natural. It's a meet cute. But it's not an unbelievable meet cute. It's very real world and you should check it out just to watch his fantastic. If you want to know how to talk to a beautiful, well dressed woman in an art gallery, watch the movie just to see the way they meet. It's a really good scene.
- [11:00]
Connell Barrett
You're absolutely right. Like Luis Fonsi. And part of, and these are his words, part of the reason he took the role was because he said this is not a stretch. Like this is really this feels like me. I could. This speaks to me. I am this guy. I am Rafael Reza. And he was just. He's just such a kind soul, but he. He did such service to this role. He was such a natural. He was funny. He had comedic timing. But you're absolutely right as a. As take if you're taking notes on how to. How to do things right in the dating world. Yeah, yeah. This one's to what this was one to. Have you been to Oaxaca?
- [11:44]
Christina Nava
Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize.
- [11:46]
Connell Barrett
I saw you staring at the painting. It's just heavenly. It is. This is called Dance at La Galagueza. It's a celebration held in Oaxaca since pre Hispanic times. I was actually there last summer. Really? On vacation?
- [12:12]
Christina Nava
No, no, I was working. Curating, actually. Yeah.
- [12:16]
Connell Barrett
I'm one of the many who helped.
- [12:18]
Christina Nava
Put, well, all of this together.
- [12:20]
Connell Barrett
So what do you think? Well, all the pieces are just so inspiring.
- [12:29]
Christina Nava
And he did what I call an indirect approach, which is he noticed Vanessa's character looking at a piece of art, and he asked her a question about the. I just watched the scene. It's very fresh in my mind, and it's perfect pitch perfect for the way to start a conversation with somebody in the real world in a charming way that's not creepy, that's not stocky. Like, we'll talk about Lloyd Dobler later. A little stocky back in the 80s, but I love the way they break the ice. Also, his character does something really good on their date. And if you can possibly do this as a single guy on a date, it's a nice thing to do. He does something he's good at. He plays guitar on their first date, and she watches him play guitar during. At this bar music venue. And that's also a really cool scene because a great simple move I teach my guys is I say if there's a way to do something that you're good at on the date, maybe not play guitar and sing, but it'd be good to do something you're good at because that can be really attractive to a woman you meet.
- [13:30]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, you know what? That's a really good point. Yeah, that's a very, very good point. Well, if you. If you do sing and you play guitar, there's always karaoke. You can. Yeah, absolutely. That. When I was. When I was dating, like, I remember this guy was pursuing. Pursuing me, and then he invited me to, like, this shorts film festival, and his directing and the movie was just so beautiful. I remember seeing him in a different light, you know, like, it Ended in like, we were dating the very next week, you know, like, it just. It did. It captured. It caught my attention.
- [14:11]
Christina Nava
Yeah. Well, on my first date with my now girlfriend, Jess, I was a dating coach when I met her, and I invited her out to go out with me with my clients, just because I thought, well, I want to see her, watch me do what I do. Maybe she'll be into that. And if she's not, that's okay. There was no pressure to do that. But she later said how that impressed her, that she got to see me doing what I do. So whether it's a karaoke bar date where you can sing your favorite karaoke song, that's a good first date move, or just letting the other person see you in your element and maybe giving her a chance to see her in her element. That's a great way for two people to connect.
- [14:49]
Connell Barrett
I found when my husband and I met for the first time in an after school program. But we were both. I was coming out of a five year relationship and he was in a five year relationship and he was unhappy. He stayed in for another four years. So we met up four years later. And I was actually back then acting and touring a one woman show. And I was really nervous because I was gonna go promote my show, my. My show on this radio station. And I get there and it's him and he's one of the four hosts. And so I just felt like, I felt at ease. And we. I got to see him in his element and like, it was fun and all the nerves went away and he went out to see me in this show and like, he got to really know me because that show was completely about my pursuit of love. It was called Rocks and my Salsa.
- [15:51]
Christina Nava
Okay, great title.
- [15:53]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, it was about all of the rocks and like, along the way and trying to find love. And so he was like, you know, he was just taking notes. And now we're married 17 years later with three kids.
- [16:09]
Christina Nava
Congratulations. Well, you anticipated my next question I wanted to ask you. There's a lot of rom com movie tropes, right? There's the meet cute, there's the grand gesture, there's klutziness, but there's also just moments that are sweet and adorable from movies. And when you think back on your single dating life back in the day, are there any moments that stand out to you as, oh, wow, that was such a rom com movie moment that happened in that dating world?
- [16:42]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, I mean, I think like, grand. Speaking of grand gestures, I think like, I honestly, it wasn't Even in the dating world it was if I had, you know, I was thinking about my. In 8th grade, I was 14 years old and you know, we're in the classroom, it's the second. It's the day before we're about to graduate and you know, you're off to high school and these, this huge bouquet of roses is brought in by our principal and everyone's ooing and ahhing and I'm like, I wish those were for me, you know. And so he goes to our teacher and she points to the back of the room and I turn around and he heads straight for me, you know. And oh boy. And they were for me from. Not even from the person that I had a crush on. It was like this boy, this seventh grader who had silently had a crush on me for who, God knows how long. And it was the most. It was. To this day, I don't think that I actually have ever had like this, this grand of a gesture from really anybody who. That really took me by surprise. And I guess like in thinking about it, I was just thinking like I. I wish he would have told me or maybe not. I mean, I just, you know, he held on to that for so long and I was gone. You know, I thanked him and I was so flattered. And to this day it's like probably the biggest, the grandest of gestures next to my husband asked getting on his knee. We were swimming and he just was overcome with the motion and he got on his knee and asked me to. He proposed to me in his swimming trunks with no ring, no anything, no shirt. So those are the two. But those are probably like. Even though it was middle school, I mean I was 14 almost in high school, but I feel like that was such a rom com moment and I.
- [18:44]
Christina Nava
So innocent and sweet, right?
- [18:46]
Connell Barrett
And it, but it, but it's a lesson like if hopefully in the future he just really let women, the girl know sooner. So he might have, he might have had a chance. I don't know.
- [18:59]
Christina Nava
I've done that. I did the same thing. Yeah, my big crush. Her name was Betsy Baker. Age, I remember. You know, there's something about middle school, high school. There's just a moment where you look at a person and say, I think I'm going to have a crush on them now. It's almost like it overtakes you. You don't choose it, it just chooses you.
- [19:17]
Connell Barrett
In Twilight series, like you're not a zinger, but you're. I can't remember what it is in the Twilight Movies. The Twilight series, they call it when you're almost zapped. Like.
- [19:29]
Christina Nava
Okay.
- [19:30]
Connell Barrett
Call it imprinted.
- [19:32]
Christina Nava
Ooh, okay. Yeah, I guess Betsy Baker imprinted herself on me circa seventh grade. And I pined over her for three years. I sent her anonymous love poetry, and I never. I told her later, and it was awkward, but I said, oh, yeah, those letters, those are from me. And she's like, oh, that explains a lot. And anyway, I was. That was my Lloyd Dobbler.
- [19:57]
Connell Barrett
Yeah.
- [19:59]
Christina Nava
Before we get into the movie, I've got to ask you a little bit about your incredible career. You're a movie producer, a writer, director. Why rom coms? Why have you specialized in rom coms? Tell us more about that.
- [20:13]
Connell Barrett
Well, I think that when I transitioned from theater to writing for film, I just thought that through film, we were able to reach more people. That transition came at a moment when I was really looking for love. I was about 33 years old, and actually, I'm wearing the shirt that I wore when I had my birthday and I turned 33, and I called it my Jesus year, where I was gonna find the love of my life. It was like, my calling, you know, I was just ready for love. I wanted to find my husband and my partner. And I think that that was when I started to write. And so then my husband and I got married. And that's. I know you're gonna cut this out, but can you hear the trash truck?
- [21:17]
Christina Nava
Yeah, I can.
- [21:19]
Connell Barrett
Should you want, we can stop until it leaves.
- [21:22]
Christina Nava
It's okay. I find it kind of strangely charming when I hear dogs barking and trucks going by. So I don't mind if you don't mind. We can hear you fine, and that's all that matters, but thanks for asking.
- [21:32]
Connell Barrett
So anyway, so we were approached by an investor once we were married to produce, and he was also a fanatic of rom coms, and I loved them, too. And so that was our first opportunity to make an indie film. Well, a second time we made our movies, but the first time we made our indie film, and I loved writing it. In other words, I wrote. I wrote, and it's on. That one is on Tubi. You can go find it and watch it.
- [22:04]
Christina Nava
I love Tubi.
- [22:05]
Connell Barrett
It was very easy for me to write that because I loved love, and I. I just really dug into my own experiences and. And honestly, like, I feel like I do channel the movies of the 90s. When I write romantic comedies or comedy, it's. I have a fascination with them. So that's why. That's where it really started. The Opportunities that were coming to us were in this, in this genre, to be honest.
- [22:40]
Christina Nava
Well, what I like about Cameron Crowe's movie. This is the second movie I've talked about on this podcast feed. I haven't done it yet, but I had a conversation about Jerry Maguire, Cameron Crowe movie. And there's something about Cameron Crowe's writing there, his characters. Here's my amateur viewpoint. Tell me, as a professional writer and director, I'd love to hear your take. To me, what's great about his dialogue is very natural. I don't feel like I'm watching a movie. Seems really naturalistic and every character, even small characters get those little grace note moments. Like you mentioned his. Lloyd Dobbler's two female friends, one played by Lily Taylor, the other is, I believe James Brooks daughter. And even James Brooks's daughter gets a little moment in the movie. Everybody's a person. Nobody's just a rom com trope. That's what I really love about Cameron Crowe's movies. At least the rom coms.
- [23:35]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, I agree. There's just something like you're saying very natural. And the interactions with the characters are really funny though. And what I love is that it's not just about the plot. You really. Cameron Crowe presents each character with just such, such a. The nuances about them. Even, even what's it. Jeremy Piven was in it and, and he was hilarious. Like he. Cameron Crow does not. There's not a wasted character. You know what I mean? Like there's a purpose for it. But they're funny or they, they, they, they lend such a, such a beautiful palette to say anything. And you know, Jeremy Piven plays this drunk character at the party and he just is hilarious, you know, and it's. He's there for like 30 seconds maybe and he's gone. But he's hilarious, you know.
- [24:45]
Christina Nava
Yeah, he makes a big impact. And he's gone. He's gone.
- [24:48]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. I love his writing. Cameron Crowe's great.
- [24:53]
Christina Nava
Let's get to it. Let's get to say anything and let's break this down with these categories. Here we, here we go. These are the rom comies. Let's start by rating the meet cute. Now in this movie there's not a meet cute per se. So for this category I'm going to consider that first phone call, basically a meet cute. And I thought it was fantastic. I loved how nervous he was. That was so relatable. And I liked how at first she. Diane Court, played by Ione sky. At first she says hey, I'm busy. But then she seems to be charmed by him. So they didn't have a meet cute per se because their characters had already met before the movie started. But that phone call, I just thought that was so relatable.
- [25:37]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, I mean, awkward, for sure. Awkward, for sure. And what I found adorable was, you know, she said. He said, I'm Lloyd Dobber. I don't know if you know me. She said, yeah, you. We ate together or we had lunch together. He's like, oh, you remember? She said, no, you. I took the message. You told my father. Or something like that. You know, and she wasn't weirded out by it.
- [26:04]
Christina Nava
Right.
- [26:04]
Connell Barrett
You know, I really love that. You know, number one, I really miss the phones with the cords.
- [26:12]
Christina Nava
I just have to say, remember the days.
- [26:15]
Connell Barrett
Yes. That was a good. Good. That was really fun to watch.
- [26:20]
Christina Nava
I love how he says to her. Her father in the movie, he says, isn't she great? Isn't she?
- [26:26]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, isn't she great?
- [26:28]
Christina Nava
Talk about getting on the dad's good side. There's a move to steal. There's a move to steal. If you ever talk to a woman's dad.
- [26:34]
Jeremy Piven
Lloyd Dobler. 5, 5, 5, 1, 3, 4, 2. It's 5, 5, 5, 5, 5,. 5, 1, 1, 2, 5. Okay, I'll get her the message.
- [26:45]
Connell Barrett
Okay.
- [26:47]
Jeremy Piven
Pretty great, isn't she?
- [26:48]
Connell Barrett
What?
- [26:48]
Jeremy Piven
She's really pretty great, isn't she?
- [26:50]
Christina Nava
Yeah, she is.
- [26:53]
Jeremy Piven
Good afternoon.
- [26:55]
Christina Nava
Not that that would happen in 2025.
- [26:57]
Connell Barrett
And I'm gonna geek out now, but that just the line from the father. He's like. You know, when he answers the phone, he's like, this is Lloyd Dalberry. Are you the guy with the truck? No. Are you the guy with the Mustang? The father is testing him with these three questions. It was just really brilliant. Like, as a parent, I'm, like, taking notes like, oh, this is really great. To get info very quickly.
- [27:24]
Christina Nava
No, I'm the guy with the Chevy Malibu.
- [27:27]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. Yeah.
- [27:30]
Christina Nava
Let's talk about their chemistry. From Sparks to Duds. I thought that. I think Cusack and Ione sky have a really sweet chemistry. It's innocent for most of the movie. Very innocent. It's not like a fiery passion, but there's sort of this sweet. There's a sweetness to it. There's this earnest, innocent, offbeat connection. It's almost like they're both equally quirky and strange. Not strange, but in a way, they're both outcasts and they seem to see that in each other. And it creates a sweet, almost innocent chemistry.
- [28:00]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. You know, I feel like for them, it was timing. Right? Like, I feel like. So Diane. It was. It was graduation, and Diane Court kept saying, like, I. She had been away for. To college for college courses and not really been a part of, like, high school. And she didn't go to the parties, and she didn't do this, and she was really fully aware. She shared that with her father. And so this random guy calls her, and she was like, I'm busy Tuesday. I'm busy Saturday. I'm busy, like, for the rest of my life almost.
- [28:36]
Christina Nava
Right, Right.
- [28:37]
Connell Barrett
And he says, well, about tonight. There's a high school party happening. And it was timing because she had just said, I. I. I kind of missed it. I missed high school. I missed that connection. They don't know me, and I don't know them. And so I think in love that that's true. Like, it's timing, you know?
- [28:59]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [29:00]
Connell Barrett
Someone. Both parties have to be ready.
- [29:03]
Christina Nava
The iron was hot. There was a moment for them to meet up. I tell my clients, I say, oh, you matched with her yesterday? Or, sorry. He said, a client might say, oh, this girl went quiet. And I said, well, when did you match with her? Like, 10 days ago. Said, well, did you ask her out? It's like, no waiting till the moment's right. I'm like, it's been 10 days. You got to strike while the iron's hot. So, yeah.
- [29:26]
Connell Barrett
Does that rule still apply nowadays? I haven't been in the dating scene for obviously, as 17, 18 years. Okay, what does it wait? Is there, like a. Are people still doing the waiting period?
- [29:39]
Christina Nava
Well, I coach men, and I teach my clients. I say, don't wait. Just basically be Lloyd Dobler. Ask for what you want within reason, and go for what you want until you get a clear yes or a clear hey, thanks, but no thanks. And don't play any kind of games like, oh, I need to wait two or three days, because people just have so many dating options today in the swiping Tinder era, that if you wait too long, somebody else is gonna snag that person up or they'll be distracted by other shinier objects.
- [30:11]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. You know, my husband and I told you, we met on the radio on a Friday, November 3rd of 2006. And I had been alone for two and a half years, like, single. And I didn't. We connected after we had gone out for a drink right after the radio show that was on a Friday. And he was gonna wait until, like, the next week to ask me out, but I really wanted to see him. So I reached out and I called him and I said, do you want to go see Babel on Sunday? And we went out on Sunday, but I just. I was so over the games of that meeting that I.
- [30:50]
Christina Nava
You went all Sadie Hawkins Day on him.
- [30:52]
Connell Barrett
I did.
- [30:52]
Christina Nava
Nice. That's great. Hey, when that happens, that men, we appreciate it so much.
- [30:57]
Connell Barrett
Oh, good.
- [30:58]
Christina Nava
It feels so good. Because we know how scary it is to ask somebody out and to be the one to make the move. So when the woman makes the move, I have no problem with that at all. In fact, we're very grateful when it happens. I do tell my guys, hey, you want to be the one to lead the dance? Dating is a dance. Generally. Generally a man's going to lead that dance. But if you want to take the lead, God bless you. So it worked out for the two of you. Speaking of which, next award, the Steal this Dating move award. I have two tied for two in this category. This award. First of all, on that phone call, I really like how vulnerable and authentic and sort of genuine Lloyd is. He's openly expressing his interest in her. He's not playing it cool. He's not being all cocky and doing any kind of play it cool. He's being genuine. Both first with her dad when he leaves the message and then when they have that phone conversation. So that's a great thing to steal from Lloyd, which is just put it out there. Let a woman know that you're intrigued by her, that you would love to take her out, and she'll say yes or no, and either answer is fine. So that's one little move to steal. And the second one. Curious to hear your point of view on this as a. As a woman and as a woman who writes, produces rom com movies. I also noticed how he was persistent with. With her because her initial reaction on that phone call is, oh, you know, I'm really busy with these 19 things. But she was talking to him. She did call him back, right? And so he did. He combined persistence with charm. He didn't give up right away. He didn't that part anyway. He didn't edge into stalker. He just said, okay, that's fine. I know you're busy. There's this party tonight. He didn't give up. And you could kind of see her sort of be like, all right, all right, he's not taking my busy for an answer. And then she basically said, let's do it. So I say persistence plus charm is a nice way to ask a woman out until you know for sure. She either is or isn't available. What's your take?
- [33:00]
Connell Barrett
I. I agree. I agree. And I liked his. I liked his. His. His shift into just like finding the moment, finding that. Finding that connection. And you never know, right? Like he. He actually said the right thing and he didn't even know it. You know, he just kept saying, how about Saturday? How about Sunday? Or whatever it was. And then when he switched. There's a part, he added a little more story behind it, right? Oh, there's a party. I'm not gonna let you run off to England or Europe before getting one at getting, you know, having a taste of one of these parties. And yeah, there's a story behind it that really intrigued her, you know, and so she. She said yes. So.
- [33:46]
Christina Nava
Good point.
- [33:47]
Connell Barrett
That was curious. I mean, that was really. That was really cool. A very good shift, and I appreciated that.
- [33:54]
Jeremy Piven
Okay, so it's Lloyd and let's go out. You want to go out?
- [34:01]
Connell Barrett
Oh, thanks, but I'm busy.
- [34:03]
Jeremy Piven
Busy?
- [34:04]
Connell Barrett
Yes, things are pretty hectic right now, but thanks.
- [34:09]
Jeremy Piven
You busy on Friday?
- [34:11]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, I have to help my father.
- [34:13]
Jeremy Piven
Are you busy on Saturday?
- [34:15]
Connell Barrett
Saturday I have some things to do around the house.
- [34:20]
Jeremy Piven
So you're monumentally busy.
- [34:24]
Connell Barrett
Well, not monumentally.
- [34:27]
Jeremy Piven
What about tonight then? Can you go to that party at the Lears? Look, Dan, I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to leave the country without attending the Lears graduation event. This gentleness. He's 22 and comes out of hiding once a year for this occasion, and he dresses up as the Lakeside Rooster and he makes this drink called the Purple Passion.
- [34:47]
Connell Barrett
And actually, I think that you know.
- [34:49]
Jeremy Piven
And you're not in England yet. We know that, of course, but by the way, I wanted to just tell you that I lived in England for three months and my parents lived in Ireland, you know, so we lived in England and Germany. And I could give you an enormous amount of tips. Many tips, English tips. Well, no tip. Don't give any tips of any kind.
- [35:07]
Connell Barrett
I'll go.
- [35:08]
Jeremy Piven
Pardon me?
- [35:09]
Connell Barrett
I'll go.
- [35:10]
Christina Nava
You will?
- [35:12]
Jeremy Piven
Excellent.
- [35:13]
Connell Barrett
All right, so I would. I would take notes from that, like, add a little narrative behind.
- [35:19]
Christina Nava
That's a great point. He made it in her Bennet, to her benefit. Yes, that's how you. Oh, actually, I can't let you go to Europe until you experience a party.
- [35:27]
Connell Barrett
Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
- [35:29]
Christina Nava
Clever. Clever. Good job, Lloyd. Lloyd's got some hidden game.
- [35:33]
Connell Barrett
Oh, absolutely. You know, I. I don't know if you remember, the part where they had already gone out on the first date was after the party. And the two girl. Three girls now were. Were in their bedroom talking about. They were saying, oh, no, she's setting him. Diana's setting him up for failure. This is Lily Tyler. And. And they gotta meet. He's gonna meet the family. Like, you know, he's gonna. He's gonna ruin it with that talking thing. And then they. And then she says, yeah, if you were Diane Court, would you fall for Lloyd Dobler? And there was this pause where the obvious thing to say was, no. But they all really thought about it, and they're like, yeah, we would fall for him, all three women, you know, because he's charming, he's a sweetheart.
- [36:24]
Christina Nava
Yeah. So, yeah, no, that was. Yeah, he's very likable, and he's got great intentions, and I think that's really attractive. Just letting those good intentions come out.
- [36:36]
Connell Barrett
Right.
- [36:37]
Christina Nava
The next category, actually is one that I didn't tell you about, so no pressure to answer this one, but I'm ready with an answer. And that is the worst piece of dating advice from a character within the movie. And for this one, there's a scene where Lloyd has been dumped by Diane, and he's talking to all these guys outside the gas and go, or the gulp and go, or whatever that gas station is. And one of the guys says, oh, well, just here's what you do. Go out and find the girl who looks just like her and nail her. That's how to get over it. So there's the worst piece of dating advice from the movie.
- [37:12]
Connell Barrett
Absolutely. Look at Kanye. She looks like Kim. Kim Kardashian. But no.
- [37:21]
Christina Nava
So, right. Kanye's got such a type. He can't get over that lesson.
- [37:27]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.
- [37:29]
Christina Nava
All you gotta do is find a.
- [37:31]
Jeremy Piven
Girl who looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her, man.
- [37:34]
Christina Nava
Dump her off your mind.
- [37:35]
Jeremy Piven
Your only mistake is that you didn't dump her first. Diane Cord is a show pony.
- [37:39]
Christina Nava
You need a stallion, my friend. Walk with us and you walk tall. Walk tall, my man.
- [37:44]
Connell Barrett
Bitches.
- [37:45]
Jeremy Piven
Man, you didn't give that kid a compliment.
- [37:47]
Connell Barrett
Hey, dude, I better build it for you.
- [37:50]
Christina Nava
Luke, be cool, man.
- [37:53]
Jeremy Piven
I got a question. You guys know so much about women, how come you're here at, like, a gas and sip on a Saturday night, completely alone, drinking beers. There's no women anywhere. My choice, man.
- [38:07]
Christina Nava
That's right, ma'am. It's a conscious choice. A choice, man. Oh, my, my. I have three sisters. My. One of my big sisters could not stop dating guys named Dave. So, hey, I've had three different Christines in My dating past. So maybe we all have types.
- [38:23]
Connell Barrett
My friend did that with Tim's. I think the that is a perfect. Really piece. Bad piece of advice. I think one of the worst in breaking up with someone was, here, give them a pen like the dad.
- [38:39]
Christina Nava
Oh, yeah. John Mahoney's advice.
- [38:42]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. Diane Court's advice to her for breaking up with Lloyd is like, here, take. Give him a pen.
- [38:50]
Christina Nava
Right. Yeah.
- [38:51]
Connell Barrett
That's horrible. That's the worst way. I mean, that's on. That's out there with Sex and the Cities. Getting dumped with a post a post it.
- [39:01]
Christina Nava
Oh, I don't know that episode.
- [39:03]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. Bradshaw gets dumped through a post it by one of her. Her suitors.
- [39:12]
Christina Nava
Okay, gotcha. Well, in Lloyd's defense, when the character says, oh, just go nail a girl who looks just like her, he said, look, I'm taking advice from three guys who are at the gas and gulp and go on a Saturday night. It's like, can I really. Can I really put value in this advice?
- [39:27]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. He's really just smart. And he knows it's all bs.
- [39:32]
Christina Nava
He knows he's so smart. Yeah, he's so smart. Maybe that's another hidden dating tip from this movie. Is just like one of my mottos is, your true self is always coming out, so just let it shine. And if you're a smart, brainy person, let that intelligence come out. And I love how Loy just likes to let's his. You know, where's his. Where's his brain on his sleeve? The intelligence is obviously really attractive to Diana.
- [39:57]
Connell Barrett
Definitely. Definitely.
- [39:58]
Jeremy Piven
I thought about this quite a bit, sir, and I would have to say, considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or process anything sold, bought, or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don't.
- [40:19]
Christina Nava
Want to do that next award this age. Like fine wine. What is something from this movie now, gosh, 35, 36 years later, that has aged really, really well. And for me, as watching this over this last weekend, a couple things stood out. One is the music. The music is aged like fine wine. Oh, my God. Peter Gabriel. That song's incredible.
- [40:57]
Connell Barrett
Without a voice, without my pride I.
- [41:03]
Christina Nava
Reach out from inside in your eyes.
- [41:16]
Jeremy Piven
The light, the heat I am complete.
- [41:26]
Christina Nava
Just late 80s music. And not to sound cheesy here, but just Lloyd really believing in his worth. He knows he's not the cool Kid in school, he's not rich. He's got to live with his sister, his real life sister, the amazing Joan Cusack. But he really believes in his worth. And there's a great moment when one of the classmates at the party comes up to him and says, how did you get a date with her? And he says, I'm Lloyd Dobler. And he's just understanding his worth and value as a man. As a young man. I think that's timeless as you really have to understand what the worth you bring to the. The romantic table. So that's my choice for what's age. Like fine wine. Any thoughts?
- [42:09]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, no, I agree with everything you're saying. And I think that just the pursuit of. Of love is timeless. Yeah, that. That I can just imagine like cavemen clunking, you know, some animal on the head and bringing it over this to the. The cave woman and you know, their pursuit, like, you know, I just feel like my children could watch this and it, it's still relevant to them. You know, that and Lloyd's trench coat.
- [42:43]
Christina Nava
Oh, they tried to.
- [42:44]
Connell Barrett
Timeless.
- [42:45]
Christina Nava
Yeah, absolutely. Wow. I've got this image now of a caveman standing outside a cave woman's cave holding a giant rock over his head like. Or smacking a couple rocks together for.
- [42:56]
Connell Barrett
Completely. Completely.
- [42:58]
Christina Nava
However they made music. Yeah.
- [43:00]
Connell Barrett
My husband and I always talk about that. Like that some of these things are just primal, like with love, you know.
- [43:09]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [43:10]
Connell Barrett
And we talk about that he calls himself a caveman sometimes in that pursuit, you know, in the pursuit. But it's, it's timeless. Pursuing love is timeless to me.
- [43:21]
Christina Nava
Yeah. And I think Cameron Crowe's writing his screenplay. The writing is timeless. And these characters, I should have mentioned earlier, I just think John Cusack and Ione sky are absolutely ethereal. 10 out of 10. They're just so. They embody these people. I never feel. I can never catch them acting per se. Maybe that's partially the dialogue, but I think their performances are so real. John Mahoney is incredible, but these two leads are absolutely incredible. As a rom com movie expert, do you feel the same way or how do you feel about their performances?
- [43:55]
Connell Barrett
I love their performances. One of the things that I found, I guess uncomfortable, what an awkward is. And that's just because, you know, we cut. It's a cultural thing. Right. And is that Diane Court's relationship with her father where she tells him everything? You know, usually if you. You're gonna talk about your. The first time you, you have sex with someone, you go to your girlfriends to talk about Them, he goes to his girlfriends, wake up her desk. But she went to her father. And that was awesome. But would never, ever, ever, ever happen to me. You know, my father's a Mexican man from Mexico. And no, to this day, in his eyes, I have not had sex, even though we have three children. But so it's not that it's unrealistic. It was just, wow, that is very different.
- [44:57]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [44:57]
Connell Barrett
And that's, I guess, like when writing, in writing romantic comedies. And I. I write them and I am Mexican American. And so if I tend to write them with characters that are Latino and that brings the cultural element of. Of things. And I just don't think that I could ever write Latino characters telling their parents, you know, that they just had sex for the first time. I don't know.
- [45:29]
Christina Nava
I know I couldn't I ever imagine my younger self having told my parents, either one of my parents about that?
- [45:36]
Connell Barrett
Yeah.
- [45:37]
Christina Nava
Yeah. I was raised Roman Catholic, so you just didn't talk about that in Ohio in the 80s and 90s. Forget about it.
- [45:44]
Connell Barrett
I mean, and now I really. I think about my own children and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know that I would want to know either. You know, I don't know. That is one left to be addressed. I guess we're not there yet.
- [46:02]
Christina Nava
Yeah, no, totally. I imagine the casting in a rom com is just so important, finding the right people to embody these roles in. In your movie again, there's Vanessa Vasquez and there's Luis. I'm sorry, say his name again. And her. But her female friends.
- [46:24]
Connell Barrett
Oh, they're fabulous.
- [46:26]
Christina Nava
They're incredible. I just want to hang with them. I want to be one of the girls.
- [46:29]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. Jackie Cruz plays Ruby.
- [46:33]
Christina Nava
Ruby's great.
- [46:35]
Connell Barrett
Aspiring social media influencer. And Jackie Cruz was on Orange Is the New Black she played. I can't remember her the name of her character, but she was one of the cholitas, we call them. And she's actually so, so, so funny. She's. She. I think her character was the hardest to play because Jackie is very smart and very. She's also very light. So she brought that to Ruby for sure.
- [47:07]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [47:07]
Connell Barrett
You know, we had Vanessa Vasquez played Adela, and she's an entrepreneur aspiring. Aspiring to have this beautiful art gallery. So she's got this serious business side to her. And then Christina, played by Vivian Lamole, is a single mother in our movie say a Little Prayer. And so I think Ruby, the kind of flighty, free spirit, has 10 jobs because she won't be tied down to me seems like the hardest one. And Jackie Cruise nailed it.
- [47:41]
Christina Nava
And she has to.
- [47:43]
Connell Barrett
She's one of the favorites of our audiences.
- [47:46]
Christina Nava
I thought she was wonderful. I thought the writing of the. So just for the listener who hasn't seen the movie yet, Ruby is under the impression that the main male actor is into her rather than the Vanessa Vasquez's lead female character. So Ruby's character. Sorry, the character of Ruby has to get it. Think that this. That Louise's character is into her. And the reasons why he's not are very believable. He's a gentleman. He doesn't want to make her feel bad, but it leads to some conflict between the girlfriends. But Ruby was really embodied it in a very real way. So who you choose really helps deliver a believable character as much as the words on the page, I would think.
- [48:26]
Connell Barrett
Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, the audition process is very important. But it all. I don't know. There's not been one movie that I've produced or written more produced on the producing side where we felt like, oh, we didn't. That was just bad cast. We didn't cast that very well. It has really present. We've been presented with such beautiful talent. So in this particular one, say a little prayer. We keep getting that comment over and over that the relationship with the girls is so wonderful. Yeah. Nancy de los Santos did a wonderful job in her writing.
- [49:09]
Christina Nava
Yeah. And be warned, guys. If you watch the movie, you're probably gonna fall in love with Vanessa Vasquez, the lead actress. I did. My girlfriend said, okay, she's your hall pass if it ever happens.
- [49:20]
Connell Barrett
Oh, wow, that's awesome.
- [49:23]
Christina Nava
Although back in the day, my hall pass would have been Ione sky from say anything. Okay, back to the rom comies. Let's talk about the next category. What age like warm milk. What has aged poorly from this movie? I think the big thing is there's something was going on in 80s Rom coms. There was a lot of overly persistent men who were coming on a little strong at times. And there's of course, the. I think the boombox scene from this movie is arguably more famous than the movie itself. Such an iconic image, such an incredible image that more people probably know the boombox scene than actually have seen say anything. But of course, there was a lot of movies happening back then where the guy would just, you know, I don't know if you've ever seen what was the. The Brat Pack movie. St. Elmo's Fire or Emilio. Emilio Estevez's. Character drives hours and hours to essentially stalk a female character. We've got Lloyd with the boombox outside her window. And anyway, I think that has not aged all that well, for obvious reasons.
- [50:30]
Connell Barrett
No, no, no. But the boombox scene. So again, I'm Mexican American, and in our. You know, in our culture, we have the serenata, the serenade.
- [50:44]
Christina Nava
Okay.
- [50:44]
Connell Barrett
And it was with trios outside of the window. And I. That really was. Even watching it with my husband on Friday. We were. We were re watching it, and he's like, oh, this is the modern serenade, you know, for Serenata. And so I really, truly appreciated it. I think. If so, I think that could a. That would have aged, you know, well, the kind of imposing nature of the. These male characters. Yeah, that didn't age too well.
- [51:18]
Christina Nava
Right.
- [51:19]
Connell Barrett
That is very, very much a part of the 90s back then, I think.
- [51:23]
Christina Nava
Yeah. Luckily, we're in a different era now, but. Okay, next category. The recasting couch. According to my very cursory Internet research, a couple other actors considered for the role of Lloyd were Robert Downey Jr. Oh, my goodness. And Christian Slater. And I could see Downey doing this. He has that hyperverbal vibe of Lloyd Dobbler. Christian Slater, though, I just feel like he's too cool, too handsome at that age to come off like the guy nobody could imagine with Diane Court. Any thoughts on either Downey Jr. Or Christian?
- [52:01]
Connell Barrett
And I. I researched that as well, and I saw Robert Downey Jr. And. But, yeah, Christian Slater, I agree. No, he was too. Too bad boy. Too, Too cool for this. Yeah, that would have actually been a very, like, oh, yeah, they belong together. There's no. No, no pursuit. You know, I think that would have been a slam dunk. But I could see Robert Downey Jr. I think Matthew Broderick would have been a good.
- [52:32]
Christina Nava
Oh, yeah, I can see Broderick for sure.
- [52:35]
Connell Barrett
Right?
- [52:36]
Christina Nava
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would have worked. That would have worked. And I didn't really look and find out who Ione Skye was up against, but I just can't imagine Jennifer Connelly. Ooh, okay. There you go. Yeah, there you go.
- [52:49]
Connell Barrett
And, yeah, I think.
- [52:52]
Christina Nava
How do you think that would have been if Jennifer Connelly played that role?
- [52:57]
Connell Barrett
Well, there was another one that was also. Elizabeth Shue was being considered that. I think Elizabeth Shue would have been just as good as in that role over Jennifer Connelly, I think.
- [53:10]
Christina Nava
Okay.
- [53:10]
Connell Barrett
I think I used to love Elizabeth Shue, and, you know, she was in the babysitters club and all that. So I think that I Think she would have been great, too.
- [53:21]
Christina Nava
Cocktail. She's in Cocktail.
- [53:22]
Connell Barrett
Oh, yeah, of course.
- [53:23]
Christina Nava
Karate Kid. Yeah. I had a major crush on her back in the day. Oh, yeah, there's something about Ione Sky's smile. She's just. She's got a beautiful smile. And you can imagine. Oh, that's the beautiful woman. Young woman who was just so focused on school and grades that she just basically was not very socialized until the. Until very late in the day. And somehow she captures that really well.
- [53:51]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, she did a great job. And she's. She's just so pretty. And when she came out in that dress, the white dress, when Lloyd went to pick her up at the house, his reaction. I reacted the same way. I was like, whoa.
- [54:06]
Christina Nava
Yeah, well, that's the next category, the what are they wearing? Award. In a good way. I think she looked incredible in that dress. They did a great job of having the, oh, my gosh, isn't this person beautiful Moment. And, yeah, I think that white dress did it. And of course, as you mentioned, Lloyd's trench coat is pretty iconic.
- [54:26]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. Although both my husband and I, when we were watching it, I was watching it again, he had not seen say anything, which surprised me. The white dress was gorgeous. But when she. When she arrived at the school, I was. I mean, at the school. I'm sorry, at the party, I was just like, oh, my God, she's so overdressed with the flower in her hair.
- [54:49]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [54:49]
Connell Barrett
But he didn't. You know, there's no way he cared. There's just no way he cared.
- [54:53]
Christina Nava
How great was that party scene?
- [54:55]
Connell Barrett
Oh, it was amazing.
- [54:57]
Christina Nava
It felt like I was watching almost like an Altman movie. It's like there was just random moments happening. There wasn't a real narrative. They're not even together at the party. It reminded me of party. I don't know what parties are like now, but it reminded me of parties back. Back then where you just go and go off to whatever room or your click and just see. All right, see you later. I'll be with these people over here.
- [55:18]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, I loved. You know what I loved about that party was the. How responsible the kid. The. The. The. The kids were this. The partygoers, they had a. Was a key master.
- [55:34]
Christina Nava
Right.
- [55:34]
Connell Barrett
Where one person would not allow anybody to drive. I. I thought that was so responsible. And so it made me feel better about, like, why didn't people do this? You know, so. And that was part of. Part of the whole. The charm of it. Like, he. People saw Lloyd Dobler as a responsible person, you know, someone they could count on to not to help them. Not make the wrong decisions.
- [56:01]
Christina Nava
Right. And imagining Diane looking at Lloyd from that point of view, I've forgotten that they aren't even together for most of the party because he's the key master. But it's so cute. They keep checking in with each other.
- [56:16]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, well, he keeps checking in with her on her.
- [56:20]
Christina Nava
Right. And. And it was just silly because she could have just walked over and stood next to him as he was the key master. But whatever, fine. But I feel like one of the things I tell my clients is I say a woman's gonna notice everything great and small. And so don't be on all the time in terms of having to be witty and amazing, but just be aware that little things make a big difference. And so I imagine Diane noticed how he kept checking in with. With her, which was sweet. And there was that incredible moment later when he says, oh, don't watch out for that broken glass.
- [56:56]
Connell Barrett
The glass.
- [56:57]
Christina Nava
And then she just said, oh, finally a gentleman who's thinking of me first. And I just thought all these little moments that kind of allow us to. In storytelling language, it's showing, not telling, which I love as a movie fan.
- [57:12]
Connell Barrett
To add to that, when Lloyd was checking in on her, and this is like, this may have been a. Well, it's the director and the writer the same. But in one moment, Lloyd was checking in on her and she's by herself. And she turned to the camera and kind of cringed and rolled her eyes. And I thought she lost. He lost her. Like, we both. My husband and I were like, oh, no, he's sort of like stalking. Stalker. Getting stalker vibes again. But then the next scene was with Corey live. The live Tyler character. Lily. Excuse me, Lily Tyler character. And Lily Tyler is talking about Lloyd to her. You're so lucky. And then she. And that's when Diane says, he's so sweet. He checks up on me. Look. And they turn around and sure enough, he's there. So it also helps when, like, somebody else talks you up.
- [58:08]
Christina Nava
Yep. New category. Wing. Wingman or Wing Woman award. Absolutely. I love that. Yeah, I love Lily Taylor. We're going to get to her in a second because I'm a huge fan of her in this movie. Next category, next award. Did they make history where we talk about their kissing chemistry? Actually, you're welcome. I would love to hear your point of view on kissing and rom coms and what can go right or wrong. But it wasn't the first time they kissed. That kind of Melted me. It was when they said good night at the end of that first night in the morning, and they don't kiss, but they hug.
- [58:44]
Connell Barrett
Oh, that hug, that little hug.
- [58:46]
Christina Nava
It was so sweet and innocent.
- [58:48]
Connell Barrett
She like threw herself into him.
- [58:51]
Christina Nava
That just melted me.
- [58:52]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, yeah.
- [58:54]
Christina Nava
Talk about a rom com moment that I've had that kind of moment happen a couple times in real life and wow. So it wasn't even their first kiss that stood out to me. Although their chemistry was, I think, very, you know, pretty above average. It was just that sweet way that kind of fell into each other's arms and like. And it was just, wow, they really like each other. It was just. It was so innocent.
- [59:18]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, I agree. I love that hug. It was. I don't think I've ever seen that since then, like, just a hug where you, you. She was hooked. And because their first kiss was awkward. It was like after her driving, he was helping her learn how to drive and they kind of kissed.
- [59:39]
Christina Nava
You're right. It was a little awkward, wasn't it?
- [59:41]
Connell Barrett
It was just like pecs, like, you know, like Woody Woodpecker. And so the next. But the next scene there was one of my favorite where they were kissing in the rain and oh, that was just so beautiful. Like just visually beautiful and romantic and not a care in the world. So, yeah, for the first, the hug was great. The first kiss, not so good. But that, you know, obviously it got better.
- [60:09]
Christina Nava
What about when you're making a movie? Pull back the curtain for us if you can.
- [60:13]
Connell Barrett
Okay.
- [60:14]
Christina Nava
In terms of getting a really good kiss, any do's and don'ts that you have to help your actors achieve? I don't know what that, what that's like to make a movie. What's it like trying to get that great kiss happen on the screen?
- [60:28]
Connell Barrett
So I directed a movie called Free Lunch and this was with all seventh graders. And that one is on Amazon prime as well. And I had. There was a kiss that had to happen and it was in the middle of a dance and they're seventh graders. And so. But these two kids, Connell, Connor, William Barrett and Jovi Lee, such professionals. But it was Covid around that it was. It was like 20, 21 post Covid, right. So we still had to follow all these protocols. And so we were outside and we made this outside area look like we were inside. But behind the cameras were, no lie, probably about 65 people watching, parents who were there, other kids who were there. And Connor leans in and he's like, can you make them all go away? And I Said Connor. That would take so long. Just, just. They're not here and it doesn't have to be. You don't have to hold it for long. Just enough for us to capture it. And, and they were so nervous. And so you really. We, in that moment, we couldn't, we couldn't clear the stage fast enough because of time. And so we just had to make them as comfortable as we could in that moment. And they did great. And they did great. And nobody oohed and ahhed, which was awful because that would have been the end of us. But I think that it's like really creating a comfortable for even for adults, a comfort, comfortable set, you know. And now what I actually love for more. You know, this isn't more. This isn't really in romcoms, but for example, Divorce Bait is a comedy and it's a little bit more of a like raunch comedy, like in the spirit of Girls trip. And there were moments where it was alluded to, you know, things that were intimate. And so I love that we now have the intimacy coordinators, you know, that there's rules. And I, as a woman appreciate it so much. And I, when we didn't have like an official before that we would have women in the, in the room and I would be in the room and if I was just producer. So, yeah, that's what happens behind the scenes. Just really making people feel comfortable.
- [63:02]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [63:02]
Connell Barrett
Step by step at any age.
- [63:05]
Christina Nava
Oh, man, I can't imagine being seventh grader with all those people watching me.
- [63:09]
Connell Barrett
Oh, my goodness. They did a great job. And they had to do it. I think they had to do five takes maximum. And every time I would say, okay, we need, we need to get one more time. Both of them would give me the evil eye. Are you kidding me?
- [63:26]
Christina Nava
So cute. Okay, next category is the no one talks like this in Real Life award.
- [63:31]
Connell Barrett
Oh, my gosh.
- [63:31]
Christina Nava
That's a little tricky because Cameron Crow movies are so naturalistic and it's hard to find that. That sounds like a movie. For me. What stood out was again, back to the gas and sip. When the guy. When Lloyd's been dumped and one of one of his pals says, we're going to find you a hot lipped babe. Nobody talks like that. I was alive in the late 80s. Nobody was so hot. Hot, hot lipped babe. That was the one moment that it didn't sound like believable dialogue to me. Did anything jump out to you?
- [63:59]
Connell Barrett
So the one that jumped out to me was the scene at the party where Lloyd's outside and the counselor comes to the party.
- [64:09]
Christina Nava
BB New Earth. Yeah.
- [64:10]
Connell Barrett
Yeah. And. And so the counselor gets out of the. And she goes to this party. Like that to me was unbelievable. Right? And she sits there and they talk about like, what are you going to do with your life, Lloyd? Everybody told me. Told us what? What their career choice was going to be. And it just, it seemed.
- [64:31]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [64:32]
Connell Barrett
A little expository for me. That's like the only writing critique I had that really stood out. Like number one. Why would anybody invite adults to this?
- [64:43]
Christina Nava
Why is the 30 year old counselor at this 8 party with a bunch of 18 year year olds?
- [64:48]
Connell Barrett
Correct. Yeah, that was the only thing.
- [64:51]
Christina Nava
Gotcha.
- [64:52]
Connell Barrett
Just because I had to find something.
- [64:54]
Christina Nava
Right.
- [64:54]
Connell Barrett
But you're right. That, that's, that's weird. The, the. What is it? The sip and sip and go or whatever.
- [65:00]
Christina Nava
The gas and sip.
- [65:01]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, gas and sip.
- [65:02]
Christina Nava
Find you a hot lipped babe. And then. Oh man, I just. How about this? So BB New Earth, who plays Lilith on Frasier. I'm sorry. On Cheers. And guest starring in Frasier in a movie with Frasier's dad. Oh man. Parallel universes. Who knows? Okay, next category. The Judy Greer award for the side character who deserves their own movie. For me, this is an easy choice. I think Lily Taylor as Corey is incredible. The song she sings, the heartbroken song she sings about the guy who ended it with her. I think she's a scene stealer. The whole movie about her writing bitter love songs, her finding love. I would love to see a movie about Corey, Lily Taylor.
- [66:02]
Connell Barrett
Absolutely. And that song. Joe Lies. Joe Lies in prize.
- [66:07]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [66:08]
Connell Barrett
Must. Must be made into a single.
- [66:13]
Christina Nava
Joe Lies. What a scumbag he is, that character.
- [66:17]
Connell Barrett
Oh my gosh.
- [66:18]
Christina Nava
So hard.
- [66:19]
Connell Barrett
But the, but the fact that he's even in there. The fact that we get to meet him and see what a douchebag he is.
- [66:25]
Christina Nava
Yeah. And again, it'd been so long since I'd seen this until recently for your chat with me today that I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I'd forgotten. And I was waiting for her to collapse into his arms. Instead she's like, yeah, you're not good enough for me.
- [66:42]
Connell Barrett
Yeah.
- [66:42]
Christina Nava
Yes, I love her in that.
- [66:45]
Connell Barrett
Yeah.
- [66:46]
Christina Nava
Okay, next we have another category I just made up. So it's okay if you're not ready for this one. I just was thinking of some fun things to talk about. This is called the Oscar doesn't go to award for overacting. It's just a small moment. This is when an actor just Dials it up to an 11 and isn't necessary. It's when Jeremy Piven is freaking out at the party and about the keys or whatever he's yelling about. And that's the moment when Lloyd has to say, you must chill. You must chill. But Piven dials that way up to 11. Other than that, I felt like everybody was really grounded and totally believable. That was the moment where I thought, okay, dial it down there, Jeremy.
- [67:28]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, I would have to say. I agree. I totally agree. The first time was really funny and then, and then it was a little much. But I still, again, I, I appreciated it was these, these characters in the, in the 90s movies that like there. I don't know what was the movie? Another John Cusack movie where there was this kid that was running around asking John Cusack's character. I think it's one crazy summer for $2. And the kid would just be.
- [68:00]
Christina Nava
I want my $2. Yes. I forget the name of it, but.
- [68:05]
Connell Barrett
I know exactly what you mean.
- [68:07]
Christina Nava
It's a different name, but I know exactly the movie.
- [68:09]
Connell Barrett
Better Off Dead.
- [68:11]
Christina Nava
Thank you. Nailed it.
- [68:12]
Connell Barrett
Yes. Better off dead. And it was. It's just these random little moments and I think that this was one of them. It. It really made me think like, oh, this is that those quirky moments with these quirky characters that just have. Have a presence for like 15 seconds and then they're gone.
- [68:33]
Christina Nava
Right. The. The genre swap award for possible other names for this movie if it was remade in different genres. Let me throw a couple ideas at you.
- [68:44]
Connell Barrett
Okay.
- [68:44]
Christina Nava
Horror movie. I know you said anything last summer.
- [68:49]
Connell Barrett
Yes.
- [68:49]
Christina Nava
Throwing it out there. Or Nightmare on Dobbler Street.
- [68:52]
Connell Barrett
Oh, that's a good one.
- [68:53]
Christina Nava
I wouldn't mind seeing that. Or Cinemax After Dark lay anything. Oh, starring. Starring Deep Lloyd.
- [69:03]
Connell Barrett
Oh, goodness. You went there. Mine for the Cinemax After Dark was moan Anything.
- [69:10]
Christina Nava
Ooh, there you go. There you go.
- [69:14]
Connell Barrett
Terrible. Terrible. Oh my goodness.
- [69:17]
Christina Nava
All right, next. The tear jerking trophy. I think we already talked about this. The moment that really got your heart. Well, maybe you have another one for this. For me it was that. That sweet little non kiss hug at the end of their first date that we already talked about. That teared me up a little bit. And then just the moment when they're holding hands and about to fly off into the great unknown in the airplane in the very last scene that got me. I didn't actually choke up, but I could feel the heartstrings being tugged. What moment tugged most of your heartstrings.
- [69:48]
Connell Barrett
The moment where after she breaks up with him and she hands him the pen. Oh, of course it's raining once again. So it was really juxtaposing the kiss in the rain for me. He's on the phone with his sister in the phone booth and he says, she gave me a pen. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen. Like, even now I'm affected by that. It was tearjerker. I felt so bad for him. It's such a beautiful.
- [70:22]
Christina Nava
It takes you back to whoever your first breakup was the first time you were broken up with. For me, it was Angie in college. And I remember I just slept on a cot in my apartment for two weeks, never talking to anybody, thinking, well, life is over for me. I'll never find love again. And yeah, come to think of it, yeah, that's how probably how. How Lloyd felt. Yeah. Okay. Happily ever after or happily never after. In other words, what's the over under on how long these two last? They're so young. I mean, they're going off to London, so I suppose it'll last as long as she's there in London. But I can't see it going more than, more than the duration of her, her 20s. Yeah. You know, basically, as long as they're in London, they have a shot. But there's, there's. They're kids, they're basically each other's first loves. So they're going to look back on each other, on each. As each other's first true loves. But I think it's got, you know, six months max.
- [71:22]
Connell Barrett
Oh, six months, wow.
- [71:24]
Christina Nava
Okay.
- [71:25]
Connell Barrett
Till like the end of their 20s.
- [71:27]
Christina Nava
Oh, you really think there's a long term, longer term chance?
- [71:30]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, well, I, I mean, I don't know. I, I have, I'm of the, I'm a believer in that you in your 20s, you should go out and date as much as you can and you know, get things, you know, get that out of your, out of your system. You know, kiss a frog or two. And in your 30s, that's when you can start really thinking about marriage and stuff like that. So I just. You. I gave them just a little more than, I mean, a lot more than you did. But I mean, if they were, I think he would, he would want to marry her, but I think she would eventually get bored.
- [72:09]
Christina Nava
Okay.
- [72:10]
Connell Barrett
You know, I don't know, but you.
- [72:13]
Christina Nava
Know what, but there's a, there's another moment in the movie where. And I forget the exact quote, but he basically says no matter what happens, I, I had the time with her. I Had. And I feel like he's always going to have. Diane Court is something to feel confident about. I tell my clients that I. If it ends with a woman you were really into, I try to encourage them to say, okay, well, she wasn't the one long term. But that means you're capable of. Of a wonderful woman in your life. And it won't be her maybe forever, but that means you can find somebody fantastic. So hopefully, if. I think. I think you're right. I think Diane will end it with Lloyd eventually. And Lloyd is smart enough and resilient enough to say, okay, this happened for me, not to me. Let me find somebody who's even better for me.
- [72:57]
Connell Barrett
Agreed.
- [72:58]
Christina Nava
That's my hope. Anyway, two final categories. The Grand Gesture Award. Here's my question for you about this. Since we already pretty much talked about the boombox moment, this iconic grand gesture that. That's arguably more famous than the movie itself. If you back your younger self, your younger, single self. If a man was standing outside of your home with a boombox, what song would you want him to be playing with the boombox?
- [73:30]
Connell Barrett
Oh, man.
- [73:32]
Christina Nava
Or would you prefer it to be. You mentioned the. The trio of singers. Right, the trio.
- [73:38]
Connell Barrett
I mean, not that I prefer it, but what would I mean? Any. Any. I used to be into R B a lot.
- [73:44]
Christina Nava
Okay.
- [73:45]
Connell Barrett
And so I don't. It's so R B. Love songs back then, like Keith Sweat, you know, Johnny Gale.
- [73:53]
Christina Nava
Okay.
- [73:54]
Connell Barrett
Any of those really romantic songs that they sang would really tug at my heartstrings because just. It's so nostalgic for me. But. So any of those songs on a boombox would be fun.
- [74:11]
Christina Nava
Great. I love it. For me, if a woman were ever going to do that to me, I'm a musical theater nerd, so give me Suddenly Seymour.
- [74:21]
Connell Barrett
You're so funny.
- [74:22]
Christina Nava
I'm a sucker for musical theater. Okay, last category. Last big question. What is this movie's biggest love lesson? I thought about this as I was watching it, and to me, this movie just hit me in the. In the strongest way, like a sledgehammer, in a great way. When Lily Taylor's Corey says to Lloyd, you know, so Diane has broken up with him, and he's, you know, he's upset, and he's trying to decide how to play it. You know, should I do this, should I do that? Should I play it cool? And Lily Taylor just says something so powerful. She says, look, the world is full of guys. Don't be a guy, be a man. Basically, she's saying to him, you know, she's dealing with a lot of stuff. Her dad's issues with the law, empathy. Give her space. Don't play games. Just be a man, not a guy. And I thought, oh, my God, what an amazing lesson in this movie. Be a. Be a man, not a guy. That's. That was my biggest love lesson. What are you talking about, Lloyd?
- [75:23]
Connell Barrett
Why do you have to be like this?
- [75:25]
Christina Nava
Because I'm a guy. I have pride.
- [75:26]
Connell Barrett
You're not a guy. Yeah, no, no. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy. Yeah, no, I. I love that. I didn't even think of that. I feel like, you know, in the beginning, the beginnings scene, they say they're having that conversation and then they're like, he's like. They discuss like, what's a scam? It was like he. Lloyd says, what's a scam? Corey says, going out as friends. DC says, no, it's not. The scam is lusting. And then Lloyd and Corey say, then what's a date pre arranged with the possibility for love? And then Corey says, yes, well, then what's love? And so I feel like there's a whole movie answers just that. And for me, it's like, when it comes to love, you just have to take a chance, you know? And to what you're saying, I think with Lloyd, it was, even if it was 16 weeks, he was willing to be with her and that was his sole purpose. And then he'd worry about 16, you know, past the 16 weeks when it came.
- [76:41]
Christina Nava
Right. Well, the cliche. It's a cliche, but I think it's true. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- [76:49]
Connell Barrett
Right?
- [76:49]
Christina Nava
And he will always have had her in his life and vice versa if it doesn't last long term. And hey, by now he's probably a champion kickboxer, right? You know, with some of. Of wife and kids. Wonderful. Christina, thank you so much for being here. This was a blast.
- [77:12]
Connell Barrett
Thank you for having me. And I want to let everybody know that say a Little Prayer is coming out on Amazon prime and Apple TV on Valentine's Day. And so it could be a Galentine or a Valentine's Day event for you. Please enjoy. It's directed by Patrick Perez Vidauri, written by Nancy de los Santos and led produced by yours truly.
- [77:43]
Christina Nava
And the very funny Chris Catan is in it. SNL fame. He's great.
- [77:47]
Connell Barrett
Chris Catan and Tatanka means we have telenovela royalty. Angelica Maria.
- [77:56]
Christina Nava
Yeah.
- [77:57]
Connell Barrett
For those of you out there whose parents watched telenovelas growing up, okay.
- [78:02]
Christina Nava
And there's again, there's so many moments in the movie that are just fun and charming and sweet. And also as a, again, as a man who coaches men and dating, there's lots of little tips that are sort of buried in the movie. You know, how to, how to start a conversation with a woman in an art museum or say a little prayer.
- [78:21]
Connell Barrett
There is an actual prayer that they say you Saint Anthony and it. And this is how they. They all find love. So when in doubt, light a candle.
- [78:32]
Christina Nava
And what's. And what's next for you in movies? Any projects you can tell us about that are coming down the road? Down the way, down the road. Always.
- [78:40]
Connell Barrett
Yeah, so I'm currently, I'm writing. I'm writing a horror. Yeah, we're. I'm going to deliver that. And then I, I wrote a. A romantic comedy. It's a teen comedy. And actually I really have John Cusack in mind and Molly Ringwald. And so that is something that we're going to try to get funding for this year and pack it. But I wrote a teen comedy that harkens back to the 90s, the movies of the 90s.
- [79:16]
Christina Nava
So count me in.
- [79:17]
Connell Barrett
My focus will be this year.
- [79:19]
Christina Nava
Count me in. Well, Christina Nava, thank you so much for being on the how to Get a Girlfriend podcast, talking about your. One of your favorite romcoms. Thank you for listening, by the way. I know you have a million podcasts out there you can be listening to. Thanks for spending some time today with Christina and myself. And don't forget, just like Lloyd Dobler learned with Diane Court, your dream girlfriend, she's out there and she's gonna love you, but she's gonna have to meet the real authentic, authentic you. So go out there, take those romantic risks like Lloyd had to take and be authentic. And carpe datum sees the date till next time.