← How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Which Dating App is Right for YOU? The Top 7 Apps to Swipe Right on Love and Find Your Soulmate
00:29:22
With over 1,000 dating apps out there, it’s hard to know which one is right for you—and which will waste your time and money. In this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett reveals his top 7 apps that...
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Connell Barrett
You don't need to look like George Clooney. If you look like George Costanza. That'll do just fine. Welcome back to the how to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am dating coach Connell Barrett. I'm here to help you learn to flirt, gain confidence, get more dates, and choose a wonderful girlfriend and do it all with authenticity. No sketchy pickup artist moves needed here. This is about being authentic, dating with integrity, and finding a woman who loves you for you. And I'll bet you hate online dating. I'll bet you hate the apps, right? There's so many dating apps, it's hard to know which one to be on. It's hard to know the right one for you. And there's literally thousands of dating apps and chances are you're on the wrong app. Chances are you are on the wrong dating app for you. And that's costing you matches, it's costing you dates. It's probably leaving you frustrated, and that is no bueno. It's no fun not getting matches. It's no fun swiping and swiping and getting little to no good results. Well, in this episode, I'm going to share with you my top seven dating apps for men in 2024. So we're gonna look back on what I think are the top seven apps for men from the last year and then stay tuned. In future episodes, we're gonna be looking at the best new apps for you to be on. But today we're gonna look at the best seven apps of 2024. And I wanna make sure you know the best app for you. One that's gonna help you get great matches, have exciting dates and meet your future girlfriend. And let's get into it. So I'm going to count down the seven best dating apps for men and why each one deserves your attention. By the way, stick around until the very end of the episode because I'm going to share not just the number one dating app for men in 2024, but I'm going to also give you a special kind of cool, really practical tip on how to use the number one dating app for men in a very creative, innovative way that's going to help you on other dating apps. So it's a, it's a game changing move and it's a move that my client Ben used to get 83 matches in one day. If you go to my website, datingtransformation.com and you look at, there's a, there's a screenshot of my client Ben, you're going to see the actual screenshot showing his 83 matches. And I'll teach you how to do that in about 20 minutes at the end of this episode. We're going to keep things lean, mean and fast moving today, so stick around to the very end. Okay? The number seven dating app for men in 2024 is the League. The League. The League is all about quality over quantity. The League dating app is designed for white collar professionals and college educated people, college educated singles. So if you're a college graduation or a professional looking for some, someone special, a woman with a similar background to you, the league might very well be a really good fit for you. Now, the league, just so you know, the league operates mostly in bigger cities, cities that have a population of around a million or more. So if you live in a smaller town or a rural area, this app probably isn't for you. You're not going to get the numbers that you need. So think of the league like Princeton. You got to apply to get in. Okay? It's the, it's the app that markets itself as the app where you have to get membership. So if, yeah, if Tinder is a party school, then the league is the Ivy League, the league is Princeton. But don't worry, if you pay the membership, you're going to get in. Okay? I used to work with the league as their in house dating coach. So I know a little bit about how it works. And let's talk cost. The League is pricey. The League is definitely one of your more expensive apps. Memberships start at around $400 per month and they go up to two grand or more per month. So I recommend the League if you're a guy who's a little bit older, a little bit more financially stable, you got some, some disposable income. I would say age 30 to 50 is good for the league and it's more about quality than quantity. Now I have a special sweet spot in my heart, soft spot in my heart for the league because it's what, it's where I met my amazing girlfriend Jess. My Shmoopy. She's my Shmoopy. Just like on Seinfeld. Which one you want to go to? Shmoopy. You call me Shmoopy. You're Shmoopy. You're Shmoopy. You're Shmoopy. That's our nickname for each other. We're very annoying. So I love the league for that reason and it's not for everybody. But if you're not looking to, if you're not Looking for tons of matches. You just want quality options and you have the cash to spend. Then check out the league. Here's number six, Badoo Badoo, my favorite app to say Badoo, it's sort of a surprise entry number coming in at number six on the list. It's. It's not trendy or flashy, but Bidoo is great. If you're a guy who struggles to get matches on apps like Tinder Bumble, Badoo tends to value substance over looks. So look, bottom line is online dating is largely looks based. I would say roughly 75% of your online dating success is going to come from having the right photos. That doesn't mean you have to be a male model or Hollywood handsome, but it is a very looks based context here. Swiping on the apps and the cool thing about Badu is Badu women are looking more for substance rather than great looks. So you don't need to look like George Clooney. If you look like George Costanza, that'll do just fine. It's not a lie if you believe it. And the cool thing about Badoo is it also caters to men from different ethnic groups who struggle and face bias on other apps. Because let's be honest, in America, if you're listening to this, in the usa, it's not a disadvantage to be a white man. That's just for better or worse. I would say worse. That's the world we live in in 2024. However, if you're black, if you're Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino, Badoo has an inclusivity that I think will work in your favor. And here's a nice bonus is you can use Bidoo for free. So if you are a guy who has struggled on the other apps, especially if you are a man who is considered a minority in the usa, then Bidoo is definitely an app to consider. Another cool feature about Bidoo is is it has location based matching. So if you're traveling or if you want to meet somebody nearby. The cool thing about Badoo is the app helps you connect in real time to people who are also traveling. And it also offers video chats which not every app offers. So the cool thing about Badoo is it's more, it's more democratic. You have a fighting chance on Badoo if you're getting crushed on some other dating apps. Okay, let's move to number five. Number five is match.com, the OG. I still call it match.com. that's how long I've been using it because I first used match.com back when you had to go on a URL on a website, even though you can get the app now. So match is the OG of dating apps. It launched way back in 1995 and I would say Match is perfect for men who are, I would say 35 all the way through 60. And if you're looking for a long term relationship, that's who Match is for. And the cool thing about Match that I like is you can message women without needing to match with them first. And this is a really big game changer. If you're struggling to get matches but you are good at sending openers, which I can help you get very good at here on this podcast because one of my specialties is writing great openers, then this is a real game changer because Match means you don't have to match with them in order to send a woman a message. You can send a cold opener and if you got really good opening skills, which is my specialty, then you're going to do well on Match, even if you don't match with a woman. Memberships range on match from about $20 to $40 per month, which makes it more affordable than a lot of other apps. Hell of a lot more affordable than the league, that's for sure. And it's really for serious daters. And I would say Match definitely is a platform that skews older so that aligns really nicely with if you're looking for the long term goal of a relationship that really aligns nicely, here's a pro tip. Use Match's search filters and try to zero in on women who share your values or hobbies. Because with literally decades of refinement, matches algorithms give you an edge in finding partners if you have compatible interests. Okay, so that's why I'm a fan of Match. By the way, just on a personal note, Match was the very, very, very first dating website I ever used back in, oh man, literally the early 2000s, before apps and Tinder even existed. So I can personally vouch for Match. Definitely working. Here's a quick sidebar. Any dating app or platform can and will work if you have really good photos and a really solid, fairly solid bio. So this is really about understanding that online dating is really just about marketing yourself. So a good, good photos and a good profile can work anywhere. What we're talking about today is making sure that you're on the best app for you and the the app that gives you the market that's going to fill up your phone or laptop with lots of good Leads. Okay. All right, now let's move to number four. Number four out of our top list of the best dating apps for men in 2024 is eHarmony. EHarmony. EHarmonY is another app designed for long term relationships. So it's ideal for guys who are, I'd say, 40 plus, who are serious about finding your soulmate. Now, the onboarding process for eharmony includes a very detailed questionnaire, but don't let that intimidate you. The fact that you have to put in a little effort to fill out this longer, detailed questionnaire, that means it's going to help you find better matches. It also means that the women who are on eharmony, they're really there to date. They want to find a partner. They want to find a boyfriend. And that's not true of a lot of women on a lot of dating profiles or dating platforms. And this is, this is not about women or men. It's both men and women. A lot of people are on dating apps. They're just there for, you know, the, the rush of a match. They're looking to just message people, but not necessarily go on dates. And if you're on eharmony, you are there to find love. So that's why I like it. The, the women there are very invested in finding a guy like you. Membership costs from roughly 25 to 60 bucks per month, I'd say. And the thing I love about eharmony is that they have a compatibility matching system that pairs you with women who, who again, share your values and goals. So eharmony is less about swiping and more about meaningful connections. So if you've got carpal tunnel from swiping with no luck on other platforms, eharmony is a great choice. Here is a pro tip. You can use eharmony's what's called guided communication feature to help you break the ice. What that means, and a lot of apps are doing this now, is apps give you little icebreakers, suggested icebreakers to make it easier to find that first thing to say. Because it can be tough. It can be tough finding the right way to break the ice. And eharmony has these cool little guided features. Tinder has them too, but they suck on Tinder. On Tinder, they suck. It's like ask how your day was, which is terrible. So eharmony has a much better communication feature to help you know what to say when you see a woman you want to talk to. All right, let's get to the top three. Number three is coffee meets bagel Coffee Meets Bagel. This is a swiping app I really like. There's real depth here. There's real depth on Coffee Meets Bagel. Who is it for? It's for guys, let's say 21 to 40. So if you're younger, Coffee Meets Bagel is a good place. And again, the nice thing about CMB is it's for people who are looking for meaningful connections. Unlike Tinder, this app is focused more on quality over quantity, although it's more geared toward the younger crew. So if you're in your 20s or 30s, definitely consider it. And the nice thing about Coffee Meets Bagel is each day you're presented with a pretty nicely curated batch of matches. And look, lots of apps say, here's your batch of the day. My sense of of Coffee Meets Bagel is that the algorithm actually is does a pretty good job of finding women who are your type who match some of your dating criteria. Whereas some apps just say we think you and Jane Doe will be a good fit, but she couldn't be any different than you. I think Coffee Meets Bagels algorithm is just a lot smarter than the ones I see on other platforms. And one of the standout features is are the prompts and questions that actually make it fun and engaging to fill out your profile. It's actually enjoyable to fill out your profile on Coffee Meets Bagel. Or at least it's not. It's not drudgery. And the the prompts and questions make it easier for you to really showcase your authentic self. Which of course, if you've listened to my podcast before, you know the power of authenticity. Being able to shine your authentic self out there to women on whatever dating app you're on. That's going to make you your most attractive you. It's going to make you stand out, it's going to help you get better leads and help you get a great girlfriend. And Coffee Meets Bagel makes it easy, or at least easier to know what to write and how to project that. Authentic self memberships range from about 10 bucks to 35 bucks per month, so it's a lot more wallet friendly than some of your more expensive dating apps. So if you're somebody who met who really values thoughtful interactions over endless swiping, then Coffee Meets Bagel is worth checking out. Okay, number two is Bumble. Bumble is one of my all time favorites. I have had over 100 dates on Bumble. I'm not saying that to brag. I'm a dating coach. I've been dating a long time And I'm pretty good at it. And yeah, I've had a lot of dates on Bumble and a lot, lot, lot of my clients have found their girlfriends and often their wives using Bumble. So I'm a big fan of Bumble. I, I, you know, Bumble basically really flipped the script in, in the online dating game and letting women be the ones to make that first move. And so what this means is that there's a lot of women who are really just proactive, confident, progressive, take charge. They're really into not feeling like they're going to make you the man, do all the work. So I love that about Bumble. There's just so many cool, awesome chicks on Bumble. I'm a big, big fan. That said, what you're going to notice on Bumble is you now have more options as the man to make that first move. Bumble has really changed, not drastically, but they've made some great changes in the last year or two. And now on Bumble, a lot of women put a question on their profile so that if you match with her, she's teeing you up to make the first move. So you actually get to make the first move if that woman doesn't make the first move on you. And that you can also now send compliments on Bumble. So you can, you can message any woman with whom you match first. I'm sorry, I take that back. You can compliment any woman. You don't have to match with her. You can now send an opener. It's called the compliment. You can literally send that to any woman. Now if you haven't matched with her, that's a cold lead. So depends on the quality of your profile and the quality of your opener as to whether or not she'll respond to you. But the cool thing is now you don't have to only you don't have to wait until a woman matches with you and you don't have to wait until a woman messages you. You can be a lot more proactive if you want to Bumble. I would say that the people, the men and women on Bumble, it's a, it's a good mix of both serious and casual dating options. You can find your, the love of your life on Bumblebee. You can also find a more casual date. You can also find a hookup if that's what you're looking for. Nothing wrong with a fun little fling. Nothing wrong at all. So you can get, you have a nice mix of a little bit of everything on Bumble. The memberships run from about $25 to $55 per month. So if you're into strong, confident women, Bumble is a great go to app. Just make sure. And this is true for all apps. But just make sure to keep your profile really sharp and really engaging. And I definitely recommend using the Compliments feature. Send those compliment openers. They do cost money. You do have to. I think you get a certain number of compliments every week, but you're gonna have to pay a couple bucks for a compliment. So use them intelligently and make sure that your profile is dialed in and. Fantastic. A compliment that you pay for to use on Bumble, those compliment openers, they're only going to work as well as your profile's overall quality, so keep that in mind. You can't just say, oh, I can send compliments now I'll send a hundred or I'll send 10 compliments. If your profile is not really good, you're probably not going to get that many responses. But if you have a really good profile, if you listen to this podcast and use some of the dating advice I use, then I think you're going to have a good experience using Bumble, especially if you send compliments. Okay, here we go. My number one dating app of 2024 it is. Drumroll, please. It's Hinge. Hinge is my favorite. Hinge is my top choice for lots of reasons. It's designed for everybody, regardless of your age and dating goals. You have women on Hinge who are very serious about dating. They're looking for love. They're not looking to be a pen pal. They're not just trolling for social media follows, which is a big problem on Tinder right now. Women on Hinge are very serious about dating and they're also so, so much less flaky on Hinge than on other apps. You also have a nice combination of women on Hinge. You have largely women looking for love, looking for relationships, but you also have a reasonable number of women who are there for more casual dating. And that's just like Bumble. There's nothing wrong with having a little fling or just having a short term few dates and just see where it goes. Regardless, the women who are on Hinge, they are really there to meet you in person. They're not just there collecting likes and leads, not at least not nearly as much as other dating apps. And Hinge has some really cool, unique features that. And here's, here's where we get into how you can really use Hinge to change the game. Here that that bonus tip I teased at the top of the episode. Hinge is the only large dating app, if not the only dating app, that allows women to like every single specific part of your profile. Think about this. Every part of your profile on Hinge, women have the option of liking or hearting. And just like you have the same option, you can literally like and heart any part of a woman's profile. So if she likes a certain photo of you playing golf, she'll heart it. If she likes a prompt that made her laugh, she'll like that. If she likes your choice of poll prompt, there's a really cool poll prompt Hinge does. She's going to like that. So what this means is you get invaluable feedback from women on what is or isn't working on your profile. What does this mean for you? Well, this gives you valuable intel unlike any other dating app in the world. Hinge lets you know exactly what women do and don't like about your profile. And you can use this intel to optimize your profile and absolutely crush it on Hinge. But not just on Hinge. You can take the, let's call it data. You take the feedback, take the data, and you can then pour this data and feedback into not just your Hinge profile, but, but also other dating app, the other profiles you have on other dating apps. Because now you know what is and isn't working. Here's what I mean. I'll use an example. For example, I'm always testing lots of different things on Hinge, and I'll test a new photo. I'll test a photo of me playing tennis. If it works, I keep it. And then I also put it on other profiles. Because I know a woman who likes my tennis photo on Hinge is going to like it on Bumble, it's going to like it on Tinder or other profiles, so I keep it. But then I might test out a photo of me having dinner at a restaurant. And if that photo doesn't get good likes and feedback on Hinge, I'm not going to use it. I'm going to swap it out and put in something that I think works better. So basically, every single piece of your hinge, there's like 12, 13, 14 little bespoke pieces. Every single part of your Hinge profile gives you feedback. You know what is and isn't working with women. And what you do is you keep what's working until you fully optimized it. And then you've got tons of great matches coming in onto your Hinge profile. And then if you'd like, which I recommend, you can get on a second dating app, your dating app of your choice. Choose any of the other six from this list and what you do is you take what's working on your Hinge and you just put it on Bumble or you put it on Coffee meets Bagel. And sure, you'll make some adjustments on the platform, but basically anything that you know is working on Hinge is going to work on any profile, I'm sorry, any other platform. And I call this the Hinge dating system. Just a little phrase I came up with. All that simply means is I have all my clients or I recommend to my clients, they start with Hinge. We test what's working on Hinge, what does and doesn't work. Swap in different photos, swap in different prompts. Here's a flirty prompt, here's a sexy prompt, here's a funny prompt, here's a more heart tugging, heartstring tugging prompt. We test different things. If women like it and hard it, boom, keep it there. If they don't swap in something different, I follow this optimization process. And then by the end of the Hinge dating system process that I do with my guys, you've got a kick ass great profile on Hinge that's getting you who knows, 10, 20, 30, 50 likes a week from some really quality options. And then you just put the same basic profile on a different dating app. And then at the end of the day, you've got two apps that are bringing you lots and lots of good dating leads. And that way you're just getting lots of options. And you can from there eventually choose a wonderful girlfriend from the two or three women who you've met and who you like the most. So one of my clients, Ben, this is what I did this with Ben. And Ben, when Ben came to me, he was really struggling. He wasn't getting good matches. He's a personal trainer here in New York City, where I live. And he just was totally tanking on different dating apps when he first came to me. So we used this Hinge dating system and we swapped in and out different photos of him. And first few photos we tried didn't work that well. But then he took a really great photo of him at the beach with a surfboard. He's into surfing and into some cool, like, beach activities. And, you know, he looks good shirtless, which is a nice bonus. And we found the right photo, finally started to work on Hinge and literally overnight he got 83 matches in a single day, so your mileage may vary. New York's a big city. You might not get 83 matches in a single day. But hell, man, if you get a dozen good matches in a day or 15 to 20 good matches in a week, that is, you can easily convert that into maybe two dates per week with some really wonderful women. And so what this Hinge dating system is, is it takes the guesswork out of creating a really good Prof. Because it focuses on what works and it rejects what doesn't work or swaps out what doesn't work. So it's a big game changer. So I love Hinge just because it's a great app, the women are invested in dating. It's fun to use. I like the navigation of it. And you find a little bit of everything. You get mostly women who want great boyfriends and relationships. But there's women who are looking for fun, too. But almost all the women who you know, at least compared to other apps, they're there to meet men like you. But the other reason I love Hinge and why it's number one is because of the way it's created. Every piece of Hinge is a chance to get a match. It's almost like your hinge profile is 12 profiles in one. Because think about it. On Bumble, on Tinder, you don't know what women are swiping on. They're either swiping right on you, but you don't know why, or they're swiping left and then you don't even know why that's happening either. Because every single piece of your Hinge profile gives you the opportunity for a heart, for a. Like, you get so much valuable intel and data and we can work with that or you can work with that to turn that into matches. So there you have it. The top seven dating apps for men in 2024. I hope you enjoyed this. Stick around. I've got so much more online dating advice coming your way. I'm on all many of the big apps myself. I'm not dating. I have a girlfriend. I'm doing it for testing and for content for my clients and for this podcast. But I'm always innovating and I'm always looking for different ways to help men leverage the dating apps, use them in a way that works, and I'm going to keep doing that for you. So stick around. We got a lot more great online dating advice coming in 2025. Because I want, I am absolutely committed to making 2025 the year that you find the girl the woman, the soulmate you're going to share your life with. Because please don't forget, your dream girlfriend. She's out there. Just like my dream girlfriend, Jess, was out there for me on the League. Your dream girlfriend is out there, and she might be on one of these seven dating platforms. However, in order for her to be attracted to you and want to meet you, she's going to need to meet the real, authentic you. So go out there, find the dating app that's right for you, try out the ones that sound like the best fit, and go take action. Carpe datum. Seize the date. So, see you next time, and happy New Year.