Andy Breckman and Eric Slovin

Summary

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Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends

Episode: Andy Breckman and Eric Slovin | May 15, 2026

Guest Panel: Andy Breckman, Eric Slovin
Featured Caller: Mitch Etter

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Episode Overview

In this playful and densely packed episode, Robert Smigel is joined by comedy writers Andy Breckman (creator of Monk) and Eric Slovin (SNL alum, writer of The Falconer) to aid listener Mitch Etter. Mitch, a Seattle-based public radio DJ and musician, seeks expert advice on adding humor to his local music show without falling into the dreaded “cringe DJ” trap. The panel unpacks comedic technique, discusses the realities of radio and DIY comedy, reminisces about SNL, and, best of all, crafts and tests punch-up ideas for Mitch’s show.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing the Panel and the Challenge

• Smigel sets the tone, promising to be less combative with these personal favorites:
  • “Today I have two of my favorite people in the world. They really are. So you... Normally, I’m kind of an ass with my guests. It’s gonna be hard, but I’m gonna try.” [03:52]
• The show’s premise: help “ordinary people” make their real-life material funnier—here, a “nice, self-conscious public radio DJ” wants to punch up his on-air presence.
• Andy and Eric talk about their backgrounds, camaraderie, and the unique stress (and dark comedy) of SNL writers’ room:
  • The legendary “writer’s prayer,” which lampooned SNL’s competitive climate:
    • “May my sketch succeed or kill… while the sketches of my friends die… And yet may I always be perceived as a team player.” – Andy Breckman [07:18]
  • Writers admitting to withholding laughter during table reads—stoking honest talk about creative rivalry (and stifled group joy) [07:53–08:52]

2. Mitch’s Case: Making Public Radio Funnier

• Mitch describes his radio show:
  • “I have a show where I play exclusively local music on air and so far I’ve been hesitant to try and be funny on the mic. For how many times I’ve cringed at obnoxious radio DJs… without cracking any jokes, I just worry that I might be too boring.” [20:34]
• Panel diagnoses the “boring DJ” syndrome:
  • Encouragement to inject personality—using humor rooted in self-deprecation, low key absurdity, and the rhythms of deadpan radio tropes.
  • Friendly ribbing throughout:
    • “So you have a very boring life.” – Robert Smigel [24:21]
• Mitch plays samples from his show:
  • The panel jokes about the monotony, the abundance of “before that…” recaps, and the lack of stakes or conflict—teeing up an avalanche of comedic suggestions.

3. Comedic Punch-Ups and Creative Brainstorming

a. Meta-Commentary and Running Gags

• Over-explaining segments:
  • “Give me an hour, and it will seem you’ll get what seems like a half and a half of music. That’s a pretty good deal. It adds up over the years.” – Andy Breckman [31:16]
• Thanking every listener by name: For a niche station, why not host a weekly mass “attendance roll call” or countdown of favorite listeners (in the style of Casey Kasem)? [33:02–34:34]
  • “You could count down your favorite listeners from 200 down to number one.” – Robert Smigel [34:03]
  • “List all your listeners in order, starting with your least favorite.” – Andy Breckman [34:18]
• Faux rivalries:
  • Engineer an on-air feud with fellow DJ Megan, tease “sinister” motives, or build a satirical ‘enemies list.’
    • “Megan’s constantly trying to…kick me off my own show, so she gets a two-hour slot.” – Mitch Etter [35:09]
  • Use fake accusations (“Why did you key my car?”) and tongue-in-cheek warnings (“Be sure to change the station. Do not listen to Megan coming up.”) [35:31–35:40]

b. Absurdist and Anti-Comedy Approaches

• Personal news as show filler: Blend music with dry confessions, e.g.:
  • “Before that, I had an argument with my mother and she wants me to move out… and before that, we heard Hockey Teeth.” – Robert Smigel [30:22]
• Listeners’ “requests” become chores:
  • “It’s all request night here. My first request: I need a ride home.” – Andy Breckman [44:09]
• Mock “Apology” segments:
  • Open with heartfelt apologies to random/celebrity names:
    • “I want to apologize to my pastor, to CeCe, to Jeff… Also to Ban Ki Moon and his sister, whom I now know was in the next room…” – Mitch (on new recording) [72:21]
• Ban certain artists, then break your promise:
  • “Promote your show as 100% Hall & Oates free…and then you do, and you apologize…‘Somebody stop me. I can’t stop playing Hall and Oates, somebody help me!’” [38:18–38:46]

c. AI, Social Media, and Robot Gags

• Robot/AI call-ins and sidekicks:
  • Have a “robot” do bits or serve as sidekick; play “which caller is AI?” [22:23, 37:01]
• Satirical reluctance about technology:
  • “I don’t know where to stand with all the ethical concerns of AI.” – Mitch Etter [39:20]
  • “Ethical concerns. You make me laugh.” – Andy Breckman [39:37]
• Taylor Swift AI:
  • “We’re going to get a Taylor Swift AI voice to plug your show and see if people realize that’s the AI one.” – Robert Smigel [37:59]

d. Community Building and Absurd Clubs

• Bathroom Club:
  • “Everybody would have each other’s addresses… If you’re on Elm and need a bathroom, check the list. You’re all fans of Mitch’s!” [45:48–46:30]
  • “You would never have gotten this idea anywhere else.” – Robert Smigel [46:25]
• Mobile broadcast/on-location shows:
  • “Broadcast from a bus and pick everybody up along the way and have it be a party.” – Eric Slovin [47:04]
  • “Or go to a listener’s house and just play their music collection.” – Andy Breckman [47:39]

e. Signature Hooks and Nicknames

• Slogans and catchphrases:
  • “A signature catchphrase…like cousin Mitchie. Or Mitch the Itch.” – Robert Smigel & Eric Slovin [54:08–54:12]
  • “I’ve got an itch for Mitch.” – Andy Breckman [54:21]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On SNL table reads:
  • “May my sketch succeed or kill…while the sketches of my friends die…And yet may I always be perceived as a team player.” – Andy Breckman [07:18]
• On listener rivalry:
  • “You could count down your favorite listeners from 200 down to number one.” – Robert Smigel [34:03]
• On radio monotony:
  • “Before that, I had an argument with my mom… and before that, we heard Hockey Teeth.” – Robert Smigel [30:22]
• On “paola night”:
  • “If you have a payola night where you’ll take the highest bidder’s money and play anything they want—including their own music.” – Robert Smigel [40:04]
  • “Would you play a three-and-a-half-minute song? Any song of theirs?” – Andy Breckman [40:38]
• On apologies to everyone:
  • “…to Ban Ki Moon and his sister, whom I know now was in the next room.” – Mitch Etter (as part of his ‘apology’ opening) [72:21]
• On deadpan commitment:
  • “This is called Committing to the Bit.” – Andy Breckman [65:45] (as Mitch’s robot thanks listeners with increasingly absurd fake names)
• On local DJ feuds:
  • “I think investigators should be highly suspicious of Megan.” – Mitch Etter [69:43]
• On signature catchphrases:
  • “I’ve got an itch for Mitch.” – Andy Breckman [54:21]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [03:52–04:39] — Panel intros, SNL camaraderie
• [07:18] — “Writer’s Prayer” and SNL competitiveness
• [20:34] — Mitch’s initial call for DJ joke help
• [24:21–30:22] — Panel reviews Mitch’s “boring” storytelling, suggests jazzing up recaps
• [33:02–34:34] — Listener countdown and attendance gags
• [35:09–35:40] — Engineer a station rivalry with Megan
• [38:18–38:46] — Hall & Oates “no-play” pledge gag
• [40:04–41:07] — “Paola night” pay-to-play idea
• [45:48–46:30] — Bathroom Club for listeners
• [47:04–47:57] — Mobile as-it-happens radio party ideas
• [54:08–54:21] — Signature phrase “an itch for Mitch”
• [63:59–69:49] — Mitch plays back his executed bits; panel reviews, laughs, and offers praise
• [72:21–73:43] — Mitch’s “Apologies” segment with surreal callers
• [79:07–79:28] — Closing praise for Mitch’s efforts (“Made me funny. Thank you.”)

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Listener’s Execution: Bits and Results

• Mitch puts several panel suggestions into practice.
  • Roll call/attendance segment featuring a robot voice listing increasingly absurd names. [64:35–65:45]
    • “Paul, George, Ringo, Leonardo… Michelangelo, Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer, Terry, Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte, Huey, Dewey, Louie…” – Robot Voice [65:23–65:36]
  • Recap bits with personal nonsense sandwiched between song credits. [67:09–67:30]
  • Ongoing “Megan rivalry” with deadpan faux-dramatics. [68:44–69:43]
  • Opening the show with sweeping non-specific apologies (to both celebrities and locals). [72:21–72:30]
  • Prank call-in show featuring participants in on the bit, including an actual member of Hockey Teeth. [75:39–76:55]
  • Result: Listeners and even his “rival” Megan responded positively (if a bit confused), and other DJs chimed in with approval.

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Panel Reflections and Wrap-Up

• The hosts laud Mitch’s commitment, subtle references, and his ability to run with “the germ of an idea.”
  • “I mean, all he needs are little germs of ideas and he’s running with them beautifully. The references are really subtle…” – Robert Smigel [77:44]
• Andy sums up the approach:
  • “You’re not trying to be funny, you know, which is the secret.” [72:33]
• The gang jokes about shipping off to Seattle to work as a writing team for Mitch’s low wattage radio show.
  • “We’re gonna write material for Mitch for public radio.” – Andy Breckman [78:25]
• Mitch is genuinely grateful and has plenty of promising bits to road-test.

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Highlights: Why This Episode Works

• Warm, playful mutual roasting between real comedy writers—insider SNL shop talk and behind-the-curtain stories.
• Actionable, original comedy advice for “funnying-up” everyday content—using absurdism, escalation, and self-effacement rather than corny DJ shtick.
• Great model for DIY radio or podcast creators: how to commit to bits, build recurring gags, and turn small audiences into features, not bugs.
• Listener participation and on-air experiments lead to infectious joy and genuine camaraderie among hosts, listener, and guests.

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This episode is a goldmine for creative radio or podcast hosts—and a joyful listen for anyone who loves to see experts “punch up” real, small-stakes material with affection and wit.

Transcript

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[Robert Smigel]

on Humor Me, let's hear a little more of you on the show.

[Mitch Etter]

One advantage I might have among the general public in trivia is just gone.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

There was a Jane Austen round.

[Mitch Etter]

Want to guess how I did on that?

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I'll tell you.

[Mitch Etter]

A music round would have been been a nice points buffer for that Jane Austen round.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay.

[Mitch Etter]

But despite that, I had a great time doing my best friend.

[Robert Smigel]

Talking about your life is out.

[Andy Breckman]

How long is your show, Mitch? Every.

[Mitch Etter]

It's an hour long.

[Andy Breckman]

How long does it seem?

[Mitch Etter]

Much longer.

[Andy Breckman]

I see. That's good. You get more for your money. That's good.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Are there other DJs at space 101.1 that are potential enemies? A good rivalry could help, yes.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, a great rivalry is great.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Like whoever follows you.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Megan is up next with her show, the Bargain Bin Vinyl Hour. I'd normally say stay tuned for that, but I can't really do that in good conscience. Megan is. Well, you'll hear for yourself in a couple minutes.

[Mitch Etter]

She's a really bad person.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

She's a really menacing, conniving, twisted, sinister community radio dj. She wants my time slot and I'm not giving it to her.

[Robert Smigel]

I am not self conscious at all. Hi, I'm Robert from television and it's time for another show, another episode of Humor Me. Today I have two of my favorite people in the world. They really are so you normally. I'm kind of an with my guests. It's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. Who are we gonna help today? We're gonna help Mitchell, a dj, hails from Seattle and has a show on public radio. Rock and roll. And he wants help jazzing it up. I don't know why you would need any help. It sounds perfect to me. But let's give it a shot. So I'm going to introduce my guests now. I'm sorry, I feel I'm sensing that I don't come off prepared.

[Andy Breckman]

And it's, you know, it makes you relatable.

[Robert Smigel]

Thank you. That was the whole plan. No, the truth is, I just, you know, who has time to prepare for their show, what with everything going on with Trump?

[Andy Breckman]

How can I blame Trump?

[Robert Smigel]

It's an all purpose excuse.

[Andy Breckman]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Anyway, this guy is Andy Breckman. Andy Breckman is the creator of Monk, which revolutionized. I'm sorry, I've never seen the show. What with everything going on with Trump, who has time? Fifteen years ago,

[Andy Breckman]

you were bracing yourself.

[Robert Smigel]

No, Monk, we know. Monk was about a detective who had ocd.

[Andy Breckman]

Ocd. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And it started a whole trend of shows that like quirky detectives.

[Andy Breckman]

I can't take credit for that, but why not? Well, because Sherlock Holmes. I stole everything from Sherlock Holmes.

[Robert Smigel]

What was his quirk again?

[Andy Breckman]

Well, Sherlock Holmes was. Was born eccentric. Mr. Eccentric. And I never read. I don't remember Damn Trump. Every time I open a book, who

[Robert Smigel]

has time to remember anything about Sherlock Holmes?

[Eric (Program Director)]

He was quirky.

[Robert Smigel]

He was quirky. Okay, fine. He wore the hat. Andy is well known for ripping off Sherlock Holmes, one of the most talented ripoff artists in the writing industry.

[Andy Breckman]

I've ripped off you, Robert, more than what I've channeled you.

[Robert Smigel]

Andy is. These guys are truly two of the greatest people. I know. Andy, when we were at Saturday Night Live, I remember when our friend Tom Davis, before he passed away, that we had a big party for him, and I told him you were the guy that everybody agreed on. The only person on the whole staff that everybody loved, except for Andy.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, my secret was I only came in two shows a year. That was the secret to being loved.

[Robert Smigel]

It seemed that way, yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

No, it's true. I was.

[Robert Smigel]

No, you were there for a couple of seasons full time. And tell us about the. Because even though Andy's the nicest guy I know, he also has a dark side that he can channel in a great way. For example, the writer's prayer. Andy wrote a writer's prayer that he printed out and put on everybody's chair before a Saturday Night Live table read, which, as everybody has talked about endlessly, is very tense. Everybody's worked all night, and now they're, you know, very nervous about how their sketches are gonna.

[Andy Breckman]

I'm not particularly proud of it. But yes, before the table read, I. I would recite this prayer. May my sketch succeed or kill. Or kill.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

While the sketches of my friends die.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

And yet may I always be perceived as a team player.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Exactly.

[Andy Breckman]

That was the sketch, and it rang true in that room.

[Robert Smigel]

I think it did ring true. At least we laughed when somebody else's sketch was funny.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, really? Oh, you think it was so competitive now it's so tense now.

[Robert Smigel]

No, there are people. I've heard writers say they purposely withheld laughter.

[Caller/Listener]

Really?

[Robert Smigel]

No.

[Andy Breckman]

That's cold. Not. That's cold to bite your lip. And I know that's. That's not good, but how do you. Here's a question.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

How do you know when somebody would normally be laughing but has chosen not to laugh?

[Robert Smigel]

You don't. That's the.

[Andy Breckman]

That's wheezing a rusty nail to avoid. To distract themselves. How do you know the writer across the room is doing that.

[Robert Smigel]

You don't. You just have to be told years later. Actually, I never felt that when I was in with my group, but then, like, five years later, I would occasionally write sketches and submit them. And believe it or not, like, I remember writing one and Tim Meadows coming up to me afterward and saying, robert, it's not worth it. People freeze up and. And don't want to laugh when. When they see your name.

[Eric (Program Director)]

That's true.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, he.

[Eric (Program Director)]

They freeze up and don't want to laugh.

[Robert Smigel]

That was. That was what Tim said and then felt so competitive. They, like, they resent that. An old timer coming back.

[Knix Advertiser]

Me.

[Robert Smigel]

And it's like, Jesus. No, I wasn't a guest writer. I was making cartoons at the time. But occasionally I'd have an idea and I would just fax it. In fact, that's how old we are. By the way, this is a little switch up from other previous shows. This is our Altercocker edition. People who aren't Jewish.

[Andy Breckman]

Why don't you explain what faxing it in means, Robert?

[Robert Smigel]

Well, that's what faxing it in reminded me that this is my Altercocker edition of Humor Me. We have here three men who. We wear baseball caps because we love baseball. Having to do with our hairlines. It's purely for our love of the grand old game.

[Eric (Program Director)]

It's too bright in here if I don't have a baseball cap on. Just the lights.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, yeah. No, it's just I have. Yeah, my. My doctor said I have cataracts.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Speaking of old.

[Andy Breckman]

And for me, my wife. My wife doesn't know that I'm Bald. It's been 22 years wearing this cap. Our guest, though, has a healthy head of hair.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, he's coming up. Yeah, he's coming up.

[Andy Breckman]

Okay.

[Robert Smigel]

I haven't talked to Eric, of course,

[Eric (Program Director)]

I never created any quirky detectives.

[Robert Smigel]

I know, but you.

[Andy Breckman]

It's a sign of intelligence.

[Robert Smigel]

By the way, Eric and his pal Leo Allen, his partner and pal, they had. They were a comedy team, and then they wrote sketches at snl. The Falconer was a big hit sketch with Will Forte. And when you. No, one of my favorite was a great sketch. And when. When Donald Trump posted.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

Not this. Not the time during the election, but back when people tolerated him. Back when people loved him, actually, when he was hosting the Apprentice, like, a year.

[Eric (Program Director)]

It was the first season of the Apprentice.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, he was, like a lovable egomaniac is how he was perceived. And Eric and Leo wrote the funniest sketch of the night.

[Eric (Program Director)]

No, we didn't it was not. We wrote a terrible sketch.

[Robert Smigel]

It was hilarious. The Princess, the Prince and the Pauper.

[Eric (Program Director)]

The Prince of the. That was. You think that was hilarious?

[Robert Smigel]

No, it was a really funny sketch.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Sadly, he got elected because of that sketch.

[Robert Smigel]

Eleven years later, people were like how

[Andy Breckman]

good the sketch was.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah, it was.

[Robert Smigel]

No, it was. Trump was the real Trump. He played the pauper.

[Eric (Program Director)]

He was the pauper. He was like the janitor.

[Robert Smigel]

And Daryl Hammond played Trump in prince form. And it allowed Donald Trump, the real one, to insult.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yes, that's true. We don't.

[Robert Smigel]

Trump the rich person.

[Eric (Program Director)]

The sketch was called. The sketch was originally called the Millionaire and the Pauper and started, you know how, like, you know, starting sketches with the old timey book page. And so it was the Millionaire and the Pauper in calligraphy. And then after we did, like, camera blocking on whatever Thursday or Friday, I remember going up to Trump and saying, any words you want me to change anything you're not comfortable saying? And he just pointed at the title, which was the Millionaire in the Pauper. He just pointed the title, went billionaire and then walked away.

[Robert Smigel]

I heard that's beautiful. I heard that Steve Higgins said at the end of the Friday night rehearsals that Trump did a little like, okay, going to go back now to my mansion and my supermodel wife.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

Just.

[Robert Smigel]

He put that Steve Higgins in his place, that arrogant son of a bitch.

[Andy Breckman]

In case you forgot where he was going.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Which almost definitely was Trump going to.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, right. It was like, Good night, Mr. Trump, billionaire.

[Eric (Program Director)]

He did walk around. I remember he walked around to every cast member and he would pull a piece of paper out of his breast pocket and show it to them. And I remember I was with Seth, I think, and Trump was like, seth, check this out. And Seth's like, okay. And it's just. And it was just literally a printout of the Nielsen ratings, and it. And at the very. It was a computer printout of the Nielsen ratings. And at the top, it was like, number one, the Apprentice. And he goes, look, number one. Number one. And I remember Seth being like, that's. That's really great. Wow. Congratulations. And then I remember watching. Watching him walk around doing it to other people.

[Robert Smigel]

That's beautifully insane.

[Andy Breckman]

This confirms my theory. He has a huge ego.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm going to use.

[Andy Breckman]

I've been saying that I'm going to rip it off years.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm going to rip that off. You have it coming. After stealing Monk from Arthur Conan Doyle. Ego, Trump. I was going to say something now. Your funny joke made me forget it. I'm not gonna talk until I remember it.

[Andy Breckman]

I'm not gonna talk until I remember it.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm holding this podcast hostage until.

[Andy Breckman]

Cut to the kid in Seattle. Cut to the kid in Seattle going, wait, wait, wait. What?

[Robert Smigel]

I'm holding this podcast hostage until I think of the funny thing that I was gonna say. No. So, Eric, also, I just want to bring this up. He wrote a brilliant film about John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg called Super Brat. He and Leo Allen, then McEnroe got the script.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah, I met him a couple of times. Well, you called.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, I called him once because I had. I don't know why I knew him, but I did. But was his biggest objection that the name of this movie was Super Brat?

[Eric (Program Director)]

I don't know if that was his. I think. I think his biggest or his one major concern that he had was that he felt like tennis movies never look real. Which. Which I think was true.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, okay, but now. Now.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Now that technology.

[Robert Smigel]

No, but what's the name of that movie that was a huge hit? Challengers. Challengers.

[Caller/Listener]

I know.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah, I'll back. I will definitely call him back.

[Andy Breckman]

But tennis players would be more sensitive than anyone else about that.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Well, I think he was definitely worried that there was going to be cheesy looking actor. An actor sort of pretending to be him swinging ridiculously. And he wanted it to be the actual Wimbledon footage. That if we could do something digital with the actual Wimbledon, maybe now you could and maybe now we could. I know, and I think it's highly likely he's listening to this and we'll change his mind.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

He should.

[Eric (Program Director)]

He should make the movie.

[Robert Smigel]

He should make the movie. It was a brilliant. Just describe it really quickly. It was not quick enough. Oh, boy.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I'm not gonna talk until I'm. I can formulate a way to describe this quickly.

[Robert Smigel]

Y.

[Eric (Program Director)]

It was just sort of a. Sort of realistic telling of John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg competing, like their legendary five set match with the legendary fourth set tiebreaker. And then it turns into. Well, I'm gonna ruin it now it's gonna get made and I'm gonna play the joke.

[Robert Smigel]

No one's gonna hear this.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Oh, damn. Turns into like an art heist movie.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. It was so funny and really well written.

[Andy Breckman]

You mean it makes a left turn minutes?

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yes, I would say a solid 20, 25 minutes.

[Andy Breckman]

Those are my favorite.

[Robert Smigel]

Great.

[Andy Breckman]

That's fantastic.

[Robert Smigel]

It should be made.

[Andy Breckman]

If there's a billionaire listening, maybe we have a shot.

[Robert Smigel]

Billionaire financing it. Okay, last thing I'm Going to ask before. So, Andy, I want to talk about one other. Andy has been supportive of so many of my projects, almost all my failures. I think Andy was there helping me out.

[Andy Breckman]

You see a pattern developing.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. And one was the TV Funhouse full series that I did on Comedy Central. And Andy, you know, every now and then I get people mentioning a cartoon. I did. Andy wrote a cartoon called Stedman. Wrote it with Tommy Blatchett. But it was Andy's idea.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, you were all.

[Robert Smigel]

I threw a couple of jokes. But the operative idea was that Oprah's boyfriend, Stedman Graham, pretended to be an international spy in order to get out of having sex with Oprah.

[Andy Breckman]

Sticking it to Oprah. And the thing is, finally somebody has the courage to take on Oprah Winfrey.

[Robert Smigel]

No, but it was one of those things where, like, I had to think about it because, like, there's very few things I won't do, obviously. But one of them was making fun of women's appearances. I had a thing about that I've always had a thing about because it's just not fair. Like, you know, look at us. We shouldn't be on camera with our baseball hats.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Women are put to ridiculous standards. But this idea was just too funny. I just broke my own rule. I just. And years later, I still hear about the Stedman cartoon.

[Andy Breckman]

And Stedman was joined on his adventures with James Brolin. James Brolin, who was avoiding Barbra Streisand. Yeah, so. Yeah, so. So Robert not only broke the rules, he ripped them up and shredded.

[Robert Smigel]

That was actually, I think, my idea. That last part, that was just a little button. But the whole cartoon, it was so funny. It was like a two part cartoon. And Tim Meadows played Stadman and Maya Rudolph. And it's probably on. It's on the Internet.

[Andy Breckman]

Is it on the World Wide Web? Is that the web?

[Robert Smigel]

It's on the World Wide Web.

[Andy Breckman]

It's my favorite Internet.

[Robert Smigel]

And I'm wearing a baseball cap because I like sports. All right, let's. Oh, oh. Also, usually I have celebrities on the show. You know, I'm not apologizing because these guys are going to be. You're going to love them. And I usually. And I, I, reminds me, I wanted to thank you for stepping in at the last minute for Kanye.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Oh, yeah, I'm happy to.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, he just, I don't know.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I, I have been doing that a lot lately.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. I'm starting to think he's not reliable.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, and by the way, for people who've forgotten what the Show's about. Let's play the theme. From the perspective of the guest. I got a speech to make, a job interview. I don't know what to say or what to do. Humor me. I'm not funny. Humor me,

[Caller/Listener]

world.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm looking for some writers who won't give me bis. Humor me, cuz you get buritis from you. You're writing too much. Yeah, that's it. Now everybody understands what the show's about and they've been entertained.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, they understand what the show's about

[Robert Smigel]

and they've been entertained.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, that's entertainment. Entertains a funny word. It's an elastic word.

[Robert Smigel]

I thought you were the nicest person in the world. That's your thing. It's the nicest man.

[Andy Breckman]

No, that's fantastic. That was a great theme, wasn't it?

[Robert Smigel]

Nice of Bruce Springsteen to do that for us.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah, he sounds great.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, yeah, he's still got it.

[Robert Smigel]

He still really does.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Is that the holy street bend behind him?

[Robert Smigel]

Except for Max, oddly enough. Oh yeah. Max was in the NBC gym. He wasn't available. He was drying his pubes with a hand dryer. Anyway, now we know what the show's about.

[Andy Breckman]

It's people, ordinary people who. Who need help with some upcoming challenge.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

And they feel intimidated or not prepared.

[Robert Smigel]

So we've invited people to leave [e-mail], whatever that is. Let's listen to what our caller.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, we're gonna hear the day.

[Robert Smigel]

We're gonna hear his request.

[Andy Breckman]

This is him contacting you for the first time.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes. This is momentous occasion.

[Mitch Etter]

Hey, Robert, My name is Mitch. I'm a radio DJ at a non commercial radio station in Seattle. I have a show where I play exclusively local music on air and so far I've been hesitant to try and be funny on the mic. For how many times I've cringed at obnoxious radio DJs. But without cracking any jokes, I just worry that I might be too boring to listen to. Do you have any good evergreen type of jokes that make sense for a radio DJ like me to use?

[Andy Breckman]

Love your work.

[Mitch Etter]

Thanks for listening.

[Robert Smigel]

He loves my work.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, he sounds like a sweet, sincere guy.

[Robert Smigel]

And now we're going to meet him. Everybody, welcome. Mitch.

[Mitch Etter]

Hey guys.

[Robert Smigel]

Mitch Eder. Mitch Etter, that's me. And you are a DJ in Seattle. Tell us a little bit about your show. Is it public radio or is it.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, it's an all volunteer public radio station, space 101.1. And I. I'm a musician and my goal with my show Is to highlight other musicians working in our region.

[Robert Smigel]

Nice. And the name of the show is Northwest.

[Mitch Etter]

Northwest Orbit.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay.

[Mitch Etter]

A lot of things on this Space 101 station are Space themed.

[Podcast Announcer]

Good.

[Mitch Etter]

Northwest Orbit, we got that going.

[Robert Smigel]

Do you have a spacey theme song of any kind?

[Mitch Etter]

I do, yeah. Because I'm a musician, I was able to just put some synthesizer stuff down. And I have a little robot mission control voice at the beginning that announces the show.

[Robert Smigel]

Can we hear that for a sec? Let's just hear that. Okay.

[Robot Voice]

Northwest orbit on Space 101.1 FM.

[Mitch Etter]

Space 101.1 KMGP LP FM. That's it.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, no. You need something more elaborate than that.

[Andy Breckman]

You're telling me that people don't think that's funny? I think it's hilarious.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I'd like to hear more from that robot.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Maybe the whole show as the futuristic robot.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah. Mitch could be sidekick to the robot.

[Robert Smigel]

A preview of the future when robots take over.

[Andy Breckman]

Mitch, have people actually said I don't find you funny? Like, are you. You seem very self conscious about it.

[Robert Smigel]

No, it's a fair question. Fair question.

[Mitch Etter]

I haven't tried to be funny on the air.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

No.

[Mitch Etter]

But like in everyday conversation with my friends, I think I can be pretty funny. And with when you're just talking into a mic without other people around, it's hard to be funny. When you're not hearing someone laughing, it's

[Robert Smigel]

hard to be funny around friends. As you could see from the last question.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, we've just proven that.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, it was only a recent idea. Like, oh, I should try to be funny. Inject some of my own right. Personality into these where like I'm having fun with people without tearing them down too much and just those kind of like silly ideas.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, we can, we can think of stuff. Let's. Let's hear a little more of you on the show.

[Andy Breckman]

This would be a clip from a

[Robot Voice]

recent Northwest orbit on Space 101.1 FM.

[Robert Smigel]

Gotta listen to him again.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay.

[Mitch Etter]

Space 101.1. My name is Mitchetter and this is Northwest Orbit.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Hope you're doing well.

[Mitch Etter]

I was in D.C. over the weekend visiting a friend that I hadn't seen in about six years. It was my first time in Washington D.C. and I had a really good time. On our last night there we went to do some bar trivia. And to my surprise, it's the only bar trivia place I've ever been in

[Narrator/Interviewer]

that doesn't do a music round.

[Mitch Etter]

And like that's my specialty, of course. So that one advantage I might have among the general public and trivia. It's just gone.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

There was a Jane Austen round.

[Mitch Etter]

Want to guess how I did on that? I'll tell you.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

A music round would have been a

[Mitch Etter]

nice points buffer for that Jane Austen round. But despite that, I had a great time doing it.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, you can cut it. So we get it. So you have a very boring life.

[Mitch Etter]

Exactly.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I've never.

[Robert Smigel]

Talking about. Your life is out.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. Yeah. No. I can't imagine the horror of going to a trivia night and not having a music.

[Robert Smigel]

Having a music.

[Andy Breckman]

The ideal.

[Robert Smigel]

We've all been there.

[Andy Breckman]

I still have nightmares. I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight.

[Robert Smigel]

It's a little mainstream.

[Andy Breckman]

A man goes to a trillion dollars.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Jane Austen is usually such good comic territory too.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, exactly. Okay. So that's it. I'm sorry. That's a sample. That's a tip of the iceberg. Can I ask you a question? To be honest? Did that really happen?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Etter]

Well, not only that. So that Jane Austen round happened, and then I was doing trivia back.

[Andy Breckman]

No, you don't have to allow me to say it.

[Mitch Etter]

And another Jane Austen round came up.

[Andy Breckman]

What?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Maybe you should call this True Stories from the Pacific Northwest.

[Mitch Etter]

Unfunny. True story.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Also, it's not.

[Andy Breckman]

It's happened to me.

[Robert Smigel]

Not funny. Don't say unfunny because that's a spoiler. Let them find out that they're, you know.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Keep the element of spoiler.

[Andy Breckman]

You can call your show the night of Three laughs and you could guarantee people three laughs every hour. Guaranteed.

[Mitch Etter]

Let's write that one down.

[Andy Breckman]

No, don't write that down, son.

[Robert Smigel]

Let's listen to Mitch just talking again.

[Andy Breckman]

Okay. We should. We should give a warning. Mitch is about to tell another story. If you're operating heavy machinery, you might want to, like, pull over, park the car because it's gonna be. Your head's going to explode.

[Podcast Guest]

Now.

[Robert Smigel]

Let's hear it. Let's hear another. Another piece of Mitch. I think this is not a story space.

[Mitch Etter]

101.1.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

That is hockey teeth and the song

[Mitch Etter]

where do I Stand. You can see that band playing live in Seattle. November 20th.

[Robert Smigel]

Hockey teeth at new most.

[Andy Breckman]

The name of the band.

[Robert Smigel]

I think the whole show should just

[Narrator/Interviewer]

be the names of the band.

[Mitch Etter]

101 YouTube channel. We've got some great live performances that Hockey Teeth did for us. They did a free show for us

[Narrator/Interviewer]

right here in the park.

[Robert Smigel]

Nice.

[Mitch Etter]

Find that.

[Caller/Listener]

More.

[Andy Breckman]

They're great.

[Mitch Etter]

101fm.org Hockey teeth.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

For Hockey Teeth, we had Tomo Nakayama

[Mitch Etter]

and a cover Crosby, Stills Nash and Young song Our House. You can see Tomo playing an album release show November 7th at Fremont Abbey Deep Sea Diver. We heard before Tomo and their song Shovel.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, we get it.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So this is a thing that I always have a problem with this. People like, they want to play the music uninterrupted, but then you forget what song he's referencing, you know? And before that. And before that. Yes, I have a problem with that.

[Eric (Program Director)]

In general, you want to know quickly,

[Robert Smigel]

but you could jazz this part up with your before that for sure. Like you could say, you know, we heard from Hockey Teeth, blah blah blah. Before that it was Tono Nariyama. Is that his name?

[Kal Penn]

Totally.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Not offensive. Not offensive at all, Robert. Not offensive at all.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, we'll have an apology episode.

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[Kal Penn]

it's Cal Penn, host of Irsay the Audible and Iheart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Wil Wheaton, who played Gordie Lachance in st. By me 40 years ago and now narrates Stephen King's the Body, the novella that inspired it all. We talk about what it's like to return to a story that shaped his life, channeling his memories of River Phoenix in the recording booth, and why the friendships you have at 12 might be the most important ones you'll ever have.

[Robert Smigel]

I know Gordy Lachance. I am Gordy Lachance. Like, I mean, even when I was a little kid, I was Gordie La

[Eric (Program Director)]

Chance when I didn't know it.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cindy Crawford]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford, and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well, I don't know about you, but, like, I never liked being told, oh, wow, you look so good for your age. Like, why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age, every age. That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful Beauty. Beautiful skin at every age. Learn more@meaningful beauty.com.

[Robert Smigel]

Before that, it was blah, blah, blah. And then you could be like, you know, before that, I had an argument with my mother and she wants me to move out, but I don't get paid enough to do this. So I told her, you know, she has to suck it up, up. And before that, we heard blah, blah, blah, you know what I'm saying? Throw in some of your personal life. That way, you know, when people aren't expecting it. Or maybe even before that, you could say, but, you know, you do the phone call and they said, before that, I heard the phone ring and I dreaded picking it up because I'm in the middle of doing a show. And then I saw it was my mother, and I was like, net loss if I don't pick it up. And before that, we heard hockey team.

[Mitch Etter]

That's great. I like that.

[Robert Smigel]

So that's a thing you can do.

[Andy Breckman]

How long is your show, Mitch?

[Mitch Etter]

Everybody, it's an hour long.

[Andy Breckman]

How long does it seem?

[Mitch Etter]

Much longer.

[Andy Breckman]

I see. That's good. You get more for your money. That's good.

[Robert Smigel]

If we could get it down to seeming like an hour and a half,

[Andy Breckman]

but you could say that, give me an hour, and it will seem you'll get what seems like a half and a Half of music. That's a pretty good deal. It adds up over the years.

[Robot Voice]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

Cosmically, you're adding time.

[Robert Smigel]

Value added music.

[Andy Breckman]

It's value added music. So you're on for an hour and you're not. It's not live. Is that correct? You're. You pre tape it.

[Mitch Etter]

I can do both. It's. I usually pre tape, but I can go live as well.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, you can build. I mean, one idea would be. I'm not a marketing guru, but one idea would be. I'm pretty sure, I'm almost positive. I'm not a marketing guru, and I'm about to prove it. You could, you could Billboard, for example, if you're gonna tell that amazing story. You went to Washington, right? You remember it? I think you went. He went to Washington and he went to a trivia night, and Jane Austen. Yeah, there was Jane Austen. I struck out on Jane Austen. But then, guess what happened next? If you don't tell people the. The end of that story until the one hour, just hold off, you know, just keep them tuned in.

[Robert Smigel]

Tease them.

[Andy Breckman]

Tease them, and then tell them at the end of the hour, there was no music category, and I just went home early.

[Mitch Etter]

That sounds a little torturous. Put people through that.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, maybe.

[Robert Smigel]

Maybe, Maybe. Three hockey teeth songs. And then another little snippet of your weekend in Washington.

[Andy Breckman]

We were talking yesterday. We read. We read the background of your show, and you. You have about 200 listeners. Is that. Is that your.

[Mitch Etter]

So with the FM signal you have. No. It's so hard to tell how many people.

[Robert Smigel]

That's a good Internet streaming.

[Mitch Etter]

We have some idea. And this station gets, I'd say several hundred, not several thousand listeners.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, so you could. You had. Wasn't it.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, Eric and I were talking about. If that's about your number, that's a manageable number. And you could, in theory, thank everyone by name.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, right.

[Andy Breckman]

If, you know, if you can, you know, people probably pledge to the station. They mention you and they pledge. Right. So you have a list of fans, you know, people who are listening, at least many of them. Is that correct?

[Mitch Etter]

Correct. Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

How many of them, roughly, are related to you?

[Eric (Program Director)]

No, I.

[Mitch Etter]

Again, I'm a musician. I need people to donate to me, not to the station. So I. Oh, I see. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

No, he just. He just wants you to thank people who are just listening.

[Mitch Etter]

Right, right.

[Eric (Program Director)]

To hear the name of every. To hear the name. The robot probably do. Could do it more really fast.

[Andy Breckman]

You could crank it up and speed it up. You could, in theory, take attendance. Every Week just to make sure everyone's there. And just wait for. If people are running late, you just wait for them. You don't start the music until your whole 200 group is there.

[Robert Smigel]

You could also do people love countdown shows. You could count down your favorite listeners from 200 down to number one.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. To your absolute. Yeah. Like Casey Kasem used to do. Yeah, that's right. You could do. You could count down.

[Robert Smigel]

No one's done names before.

[Andy Breckman]

You're going to list all your listeners in order, starting with your least favorite.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Andy Breckman]

We all know who that is.

[Robert Smigel]

People love countdowns.

[Andy Breckman]

And then you build up toward your. Toward your favorite. And it would change every month. It would be very suspenseful.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, that's true. It doesn't have to be a one time thing.

[Andy Breckman]

I list. I have five children and I list. First of every month I post a list of who I love best. It is very. The night before. It's very tense in the house.

[Robert Smigel]

That's so exciting.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, very. Yeah.

[Mitch Etter]

This is my favorite listeners listening enemies list as well. And it's just constantly changing.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Are there. Are there other DJs at space 101.1 that are potential enemies? A good rivalry could help.

[Andy Breckman]

Yes. Oh, great. Rivalry is great.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Like whoever follows you could. Could we. Could you antagonize them?

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Etter]

Megan's constantly trying to. Yeah. Kick me off my own show. So she gets a two hour slot. That's instead of the one hour.

[Robert Smigel]

What if you have a feud with someone in Seattle? Like you just like start shitting on McLemore or.

[Andy Breckman]

Or wait, what's that band? Wait, what's that band that you mentioned? Hockey Teeth. Yeah, Hockey Teeth. Like who's the lead singer of Hockey Teeth?

[Robert Smigel]

Nobody knows.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

That could be another mystery.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

But Eric's idea to start a feud with someone else at the station.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah. As I'm winding down my show, just say thanks for listening. Be sure to change the station. Do not listen to Megan coming up.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, or you would. Or you'd be more subtle like Megan, why did you key my car? You know, you would just accuse her of things. Do you do the show from a studio or from your house often?

[Mitch Etter]

From my house here in that room.

[Andy Breckman]

Now we see. We can't help but see that there

[Robert Smigel]

are instruments on the walls, your own that you play. Or are they ones that Hockey Teeth have signed?

[Mitch Etter]

These are all mine. Some are donated.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Mitch Etter]

To me by friends and. But yeah. Just all my instruments there.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

What about people want. Making people feel like they're missing out. Like if you say if you've just joined us.

[Andy Breckman]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

I want to thank, you know, Elton John. Elton John first stopping by.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. Yes. To make people feel they, they missed

[Robert Smigel]

out on some of the shows.

[Andy Breckman]

I know the kids love Elton John. I know that

[Robert Smigel]

your theme song. Let's talk about that again. You know, it's pretty generic. You could go a lot further with this space theme.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I think the robot could easily tell some jokes now.

[Mitch Etter]

What, what do you think of this? I was just in ahead of this. I was trying to think of things like a fake call in segment where yeah. Myself or like friends could call in

[Robert Smigel]

is like, yeah, I saw you have

[Mitch Etter]

characters and I don't know that could work.

[Robert Smigel]

And then we had one idea where we were like, there's two call ins, two voices that you hear and the audience has to guess which is AI, which of the two is real and which is the two. So like the first one would be, you know, a voice. And it's like, Mitch, you're a month behind your payments. Billy's education matters. You know, I know times are tough and your station you work for is very small, but. But we're talking about your biological son, Mitch. And then. Okay, that's one. And then, and now here's the other one. Hi, I'm Taylor Swift and whenever I'm listening in the Seattle area, I listen to Mitch Etter at. You know, and then, then people have to guess which one is AI.

[Mitch Etter]

That's fun.

[Andy Breckman]

And that.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, we also do stuff on social media and that's easily cross promotable there.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, I liked it. I liked it. Robert, I like it.

[Robert Smigel]

I don't know, Robert, you're going to do it. You're going to do it. We're going to get a Taylor Swift AI voice to plug your show and we're going to see if people realize that that's the AI one. Oh, you know, and Taylor Swift would be like, you know, I listen to Mitch. I love the show also. Mitch, pay Beth the money. It's your fucking kid.

[Andy Breckman]

Why don't you do this? Why don't you promote your show as now 100% hall and Oats free. And you just promise that you won't play hola notes and that becomes your.

[Robert Smigel]

And then you do.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, then you do and you apologize,

[Robert Smigel]

you yell at the engineer and it becomes really dramatic.

[Andy Breckman]

We come back from Rich girl and you're just weeping and begging, please, it won't happen again.

[Robert Smigel]

And then it does. And then it happens again.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, then it does happen.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Really?

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, yeah. Somebody stop me I can't stop playing hall and Oates. Somebody help me.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, and then we get a psychologist on. Talk about why he's self destructive.

[Andy Breckman]

Exactly.

[Mitch Etter]

That's me.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Or is it the robot?

[Robert Smigel]

That's a great episode, Mitch.

[Andy Breckman]

If you don't write, if you don't

[Robert Smigel]

write this down, maybe the robot is your psychologist. That would be good.

[Andy Breckman]

Or maybe AI Maybe you do consult AI, you know, have you done that, Mitch? Have you, have you googled or tried AI? And with this challenge.

[Mitch Etter]

No, I've been weird. I. I don't know where to stand with all the ethical concerns of AI.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh for the love of God. Listen to you.

[Mitch Etter]

It can be funny.

[Andy Breckman]

I wish you could hear yourself sometimes.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, that's cute. It's like when people were concerned about cloning and look, now we're all clones.

[Andy Breckman]

Ethical concerns. You make me laugh.

[Robert Smigel]

What about money, right? You said you need money. You kind of need. Sure you're shrugging before you made a whole.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, he's a musician.

[Robert Smigel]

Big sob story. He's a musician, he needs money. Yeah, okay.

[Mitch Etter]

Just self deprecating. Poor musician.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, you were interested in people making donations to you is what you said. As opposed to public radio, which doesn't need anybody's help right now. Yeah, but let's be more concerned with you.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So what I'm saying is. And you can play any song, right? You're allowed, correct? It's your show. So what if you have a paola night night, right?

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Etter]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

If you have a payola night where you will take the highest bidders money and play anything they want, including their own.

[Andy Breckman]

I'm sure there are local singer songwriters who would love to get some airplay on your show. That would probably.

[Mitch Etter]

I hear from them all the time.

[Andy Breckman]

That would probably steal a few dollars from their parents wallets while their parents are asleep, right?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

Would you play any song?

[Robert Smigel]

You could maybe discover the next Hockey Teeth?

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. What would be your number, your price? Somebody gave you $200. Would you play a three and a half minute song? Any song of theirs.

[Mitch Etter]

So like if it's a song that's just totally garbage.

[Andy Breckman]

No, no, no. Without you listening to it. No sir, no sir. The rule is you can't listen to it or judge it. Screw you. Here's $200. Would you play a. Would you play a three and a half minute song?

[Mitch Etter]

We got a small enough listen. Yeah, I'm in.

[Robert Smigel]

Let's do it.

[Andy Breckman]

There it is. We have our number. So $200. So if you can get four people to agree to do that. Hold on. Hold on. Four people.

[Kal Penn]

Hold on.

[Robert Smigel]

Anybody have a Bomar brain?

[Andy Breckman]

Hold on. That's $800, son.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

That's half of your month's rent.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

You know. I know. I assume you have four roommates.

[Mitch Etter]

You are dead on.

[Andy Breckman]

I know. Of course I'm looking at you. You're in Seattle. You have four roommates.

[Robert Smigel]

That four roommate violin.

[Eric (Program Director)]

How much do the four roommates love? All of your guitars.

[Andy Breckman]

Exactly.

[Mitch Etter]

Well, they play in a black metal band, so I got to put up with that, too.

[Andy Breckman]

Your roommates are black metal band. Well, there you go. Are your roommates home now?

[Mitch Etter]

No, they are not. We're working.

[Andy Breckman]

So we'll talk to you, then we'll continue with you.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah.

[Robot Voice]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You talked about apologizing for the hall and Oates thing. That'd be good.

[Andy Breckman]

Okay. I think I love your. I love payola night.

[Robert Smigel]

Paola night. No, but the hall and Oates, the promise not to play hall of Notes and then play it all night.

[Knix Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Would be great.

[Andy Breckman]

You could promote it the week before next week. Don't. You don't want to miss 100% hollow free. That's a personal guarantee.

[Robert Smigel]

But the apology. You could also do a show where you just open the show with an apology and you have a list of people that you're apologizing to and you don't exactly say what you did.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, I just. Just I. I don't. I hope I can regain your trust.

[Andy Breckman]

That's right. And yeah. And if you see your sister, apologize to her, too. I know she was in the next room, you know.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, and I want to apologize to my pastor.

[Andy Breckman]

That's right. And. Yeah. And the woman on the elevator Thursday night.

[Robert Smigel]

And then maybe take calls from listeners who, you know, if you want to get out your anger at me.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's. We have people call who have complaints and you apologize.

[Andy Breckman]

You're talking to three Jews, in case you didn't follow that. We're very good at this.

[Robert Smigel]

I'll take. Oh, this is another one. I talked about this with David Reaction videos. Someone listens to a song for the first time ever.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, I've seen it.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, and then you get their reaction. So you could do that. You could say, today's reaction night. And I'm going to play songs that I have never heard before, brand new to me, and you're gonna get my instant reaction. And then you play. Hey, Jew.

[Mitch Etter]

Space 101.1 KMGP, LPFM, Magnuson Park. My name is Mitch Etter. And this is episode 100. This is an all request show today for episode 100. Today and next week's episode 101.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I'm taking your request for your favorite local songs.

[Andy Breckman]

Well done.

[Robert Smigel]

You're taking requests. So you do an all request show. Why don't you do an all request show where you request things of. Since you're. You only have a few audience members.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, I need an audience member. I need an audience member to clean my gutter.

[Robert Smigel]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all request night here. My first request. I need a ride home. I think that's fantastic.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, I think that's great.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

Look, you have 200 listeners.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. And have them call in. And they gotta call in and verify they're doing these things.

[Eric (Program Director)]

A cup of coffee, something doable.

[Andy Breckman]

And then they could get more elaborate like, my. My grandfather's dying. I need a woman to pretend she's my fiance. You know, they get more and more elaborate.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

It.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, it's kind of like the reverse of Paola night.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mitch Etter]

We got a winner there for sure.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I think for your 200th show, you could have all 200 of your listeners at your. At your party.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Invited this room. In this room. Yeah.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Have all bring them in.

[Mitch Etter]

The black metal band will play.

[Eric (Program Director)]

And then there's an incentive for episode 300, because for then, if people want to get invited, they have to become listeners.

[Kal Penn]

So.

[Andy Breckman]

That's Right. So another hundred weeks, you can just.

[Robert Smigel]

Is there anything to like writing a song and playing it that has all the names of the listeners in it?

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, my God, that's genius. Mitch, do you. Would you feel, you know, because from talking to your friends and talking to your family that listen and also, you know, who pledges money every year, would you feel, you know, a great number, a great percentage of your listeners?

[Mitch Etter]

I. I could make up some names. I. I do not know them off the top, but. But I will.

[Andy Breckman]

What if you. You went on live one week and just said, we're taking attendance. Who's listening? Who's out there?

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Andy Breckman]

You know, we'd love.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And have them text.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, and have them text their names. Another thing you could do one week is all your listeners, I imagine they live various parts of Seattle around town, right?

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, mostly. But we do have international or across

[Andy Breckman]

the street, but for the ones locally, you could start a bathroom club. Everybody would have each other's addresses. It would be like a little club and you could go and use if you're. If you're on. If you're on Elm street and you need a bathroom, you check the list of. You're all together. You're all fans of Mitch's. Right? It's the Mitch Bathroom Club. You can go and knock on 403 Elm street and I'm in the club.

[Robert Smigel]

Wow.

[Andy Breckman]

And everyone has one bathroom that they keep relatively clean. You're welcome.

[Robert Smigel]

This is. You would never have gotten this idea anywhere else.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, no, I was just done and done.

[Andy Breckman]

You know, if you don't write it

[Robert Smigel]

down and it's the best idea ever,

[Andy Breckman]

you're gonna forget it. If you don't write it down.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

This whole thing's being recorded.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, that's true.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, big mistake. Big mistake.

[Andy Breckman]

Can you do it? The big mistake. Not good. Yeah, luckily we're not making that mistake.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Can you do a mobile show? Can you broadcast from a bus? Oh, yeah, you can broadcast from a bus and pick everybody up. Broadcast live from a bus and pick everybody up along the way and have it be a party. Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

Or bring that band with you.

[Robert Smigel]

Swing by hockey.

[Andy Breckman]

Bring Hockey teeth with you. Yeah, we're going to do better than just play Hockey Teeth. We're going to come run that idea down. Yeah, we're going to come and play a Pictionary.

[Eric (Program Director)]

End of the Hockey Teeth show. You'll show up. Hockey T's playing. What time do you end? 8 o'. Clock.

[Robert Smigel]

That's right.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Tuesday night at 8 o' clock at the penalty box. Is that the name of the venue they play at?

[Andy Breckman]

Wow.

[Robert Smigel]

Contest. Where? That's very good.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, that's also.

[Robert Smigel]

You could have a contest where I'll do my show in your shitty studio apartment.

[Mitch Etter]

Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. Live from your studio. And. And I will. And I will not bring any music. I won't bring any CDs or records. I'll just play your. Your music from your collection. Your personal collection. You could go to. Yeah, you could go to a listener's house. That's a great idea. It would be a very personalized show.

[Robert Smigel]

And love when it's about them.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. And I would bring your. Your heavy metal roommates with you just so they have a taste of what your life. What your living hell is like. The living hell that you call your apartment.

[Robert Smigel]

David Feldman. Any thoughts? Anything we haven't hit on? Well, I just a criticism of his show. The CL clip there. There's like an echo when he says space. Yeah, I didn't get that either. I mean is he should get that fixed. Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

I think what David Feldman is saying, it's A very good point, David. That space is a vacuum. There's no air at all, so there's no possible echo. I think that's what you're trying to say. Is that right?

[Robert Smigel]

I don't know. Maybe he needs to. Yeah, I think it just. It's just a glitch is the problem.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, space, Space. What's that all about?

[Andy Breckman]

Mitch, are you still there?

[Eric (Program Director)]

This is good.

[Robert Smigel]

David has effectively ended the show.

[Andy Breckman]

That's why he's here. That's how he rolls. I use him at parties when people stay too late. I say, can we get Feldman in here? People are not leaving.

[Robert Smigel]

Ask a question that makes everyone silent.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. Mitch, are there any suggestions you heard in the last 40 minutes that might feel that you.

[Robert Smigel]

Besides all of them?

[Eric (Program Director)]

Oh, definitely.

[Andy Breckman]

Bathroom, please. Say bathroom club. Wait, let me.

[Robert Smigel]

How many of these can he do?

[Mitch Etter]

I. I do. I do it every week. So I.

[Caller/Listener]

We.

[Mitch Etter]

I could do all these haul notes.

[Robert Smigel]

For sure.

[Mitch Etter]

I really like Paola Night. The all requests where. They're just my requests. They're all.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Wow. Well, there's a lot of stuff. Oh, yeah. Get you to work right away on this.

[Mitch Etter]

Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

Robert, you're like the radio Lone ranger. You come into town, you help. You fix people's lives. You help people, and then you ride away.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, you guys are. Are tontos.

[Andy Breckman]

We're. We're your tanto.

[Robert Smigel]

Can we hear him play something? What? Can we hear him play something? Cause I bet it's bad. That's Frank Smiley. That's our producer, Frank Smiley. We'll get some laughs off of him playing something because it's gonna be all bad and shit.

[Caller/Listener]

There he is.

[Robert Smigel]

There's Frank Smiley, our producer. Frank is a. My producer is a cartoon sewer rat. There's really good WI FI in the sewer, thank God. And Frank is able to run the show from there.

[Redfin Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Come on. Play something bad.

[Andy Breckman]

Something we should play you lousiest.

[Kal Penn]

Can you.

[Robert Smigel]

Do you want to play something?

[Andy Breckman]

This is your chance, Mitch. What are we gonna hear?

[Narrator/Interviewer]

It's a great question.

[Mitch Etter]

I'm thinking about it on the spot.

[Robert Smigel]

We don't have to pay for this, right?

[Narrator/Interviewer]

No.

[Robert Smigel]

Good. Okay. You're on camera saying that.

[Andy Breckman]

Okay, well, I know you're trying to be funnier in your life, Mitch. That tuning is hysterical. Oh, we can't. We're not hearing the guitar.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yeah, there's no guitar.

[Robert Smigel]

We're not hearing it.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

It.

[Mitch Etter]

It. Zoom Audio is very tricky.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, Zoom Audio sucks. This is not fair to you, so play it. But you're also recording yourself. I'm recording play it and we're going to pretend that we love it. Okay.

[Mitch Etter]

That's very kind of you.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I can't telegraph thunder I can't fight enough under.

[Mitch Etter]

I can't do everything under the sun I can't read everything wretched I can't rewind and reset it I can't do everything under the sun.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, okay. Oh, there we go, son. All right. That was great.

[Andy Breckman]

Well done. Hey, have you ever played your music on the. On. On your show?

[Mitch Etter]

I haven't, no. I try to be. Have a little separation of church and state. There's.

[Robert Smigel]

That would be like me singing my own theme song. It'd be obnoxious. Yeah. Be embarrassing.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. And so, Mitch, a typical week for you. You're. Are you in a band? Are you.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, I have my own band where I write songs and have some people that play with me. We gig around. I teach guitar lessons.

[Robert Smigel]

We gig around. I love that expression.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, we gig around. How's the music scene in Seattle? Is it healthy?

[Narrator/Interviewer]

It's really great.

[Mitch Etter]

Like I'm a. I'm a small local artist, but when I play around, it's not uncommon to sell out 200 capacity rooms. It's just like every night of the week.

[Andy Breckman]

200 is kind of your maximum in life. On both radio.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. You could get little kids because they love to listen to things over and over.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Do you teach kids or do you

[Mitch Etter]

teach mostly kids and adults? My youngest students like 7.

[Eric (Program Director)]

But can you get them together to form a band?

[Mitch Etter]

I probably could, yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

Kid band would be. Yeah, that's probably a great idea.

[Robert Smigel]

If you did a music video where it was your band and surrounded by five year olds dancing. Yeah, that would, that's. That would go.

[Mitch Etter]

That would do.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, why don't you just have some

[Eric (Program Director)]

5 year olds in the. When you're broadcasting the show and just when you play a hockey teeth song and then ask them what they think.

[Andy Breckman]

Mitch, it's a great way for you. It's a great way for you to meet five year old boys. I think. I think we're on to something.

[Robert Smigel]

Let's keep going.

[Andy Breckman]

We keep you. We didn't. We didn't improve your ratings, but we helped you in other areas.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I think reviews.

[Andy Breckman]

Come on into my soundproof studio. It's a.

[Robert Smigel]

Here's another way. Kids will love your show if you just announce school closings.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, that's right.

[Robert Smigel]

Make it up.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. Makeup and take up school and snow days in April.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, snow days. And then the parents, the kids will get their parents to listen to the show. Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, my God. That is.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I think.

[Robert Smigel]

Change the name.

[Eric (Program Director)]

No, Change the name of the show to Snow Day Report.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, my gosh.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

That might be the best mids. That's.

[Mitch Etter]

That's pretty good.

[Andy Breckman]

That is Every.

[Robert Smigel]

Every kid in Seattle.

[Andy Breckman]

Snow Day closings. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Will make their parents listen to it.

[Andy Breckman]

Kids could call you and request. Could you please close Tatum Elementary School on Thursday? Please have a contest, though.

[Robert Smigel]

We got to be careful here.

[Eric (Program Director)]

That's true. That's Megan's show. Megan host.

[Robert Smigel]

Megan invites bomb threats.

[Andy Breckman]

No.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Mitch is all about snow days.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I think we've done our. Our job here. I really do. I think you're awesome.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I think he could use a signature catchphrase.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, Signature catchphrase. Or what about a nickname? Like cousin Mitchie?

[Eric (Program Director)]

Mitch.

[Robert Smigel]

Mitch the Itch.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Mitch the Itch.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. Because you're not a. I got an itch for Mitch. Yeah.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

I've got an itch for Mitch. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And then have. You know.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. There's your voices. There's your. There's your next year's T shirt right there.

[Caller/Listener]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

And have different voices saying it. And one of them is just really irritating.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I've got an itch from man.

[Andy Breckman]

Hi. This is Taylor Swift. This is Taylor Swift. And I've got. I've got a little confession for everyone in Seattle. I've developed an it.

[Robert Smigel]

I've developed an itch. Then you have a doctor on. Give advice for people who have an it.

[Andy Breckman]

Who literally have an itch for Mitch.

[Robert Smigel]

Who prescribe the necessary.

[Andy Breckman]

Or you could sell the cream that cures the itch from itch for $30 a jar.

[Robert Smigel]

Megan's gonna do that. Megan's gonna be selling the cream.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. The itch is free, baby. The cure is gonna cost you. That's how we roll here in Seattle. Oh, man. You guys are great.

[Eric (Program Director)]

We did it.

[Robert Smigel]

We did it.

[Mitch Etter]

This is so much fun.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay. We did it.

[Andy Breckman]

We did it.

[Robert Smigel]

We did it. Now we get a cookie.

[Eric (Program Director)]

204 listeners.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, so.

[Robert Smigel]

And.

[Andy Breckman]

And what's the plan?

[Robert Smigel]

Mitch is going to report back with samples of his work.

[Caller/Listener]

And.

[Robert Smigel]

And we'll talk about how it went after this message. Got a thing that needs to be funnier. Tell us about [e-mail].

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

humor me.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

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[Kal Penn]

hey everyone, it's Kal Penn, host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I'm sitting down with Lily Chu, the author of the Audible original romantic comedy Just Kiss Already. It's a story about a forensic anthropologist who secretly writes mystery novels, an actress who adapts his book into a film, and what happens when a meme and a media tour collide with a slow burn romance. It's performed by Simu Liu and Philippa Hsu, and it is an absolute blast.

[Podcast Guest]

When you actually hear the performance, you realize that other people are taking your words and what you thought was kind of a straightforward sentence like the cat in the corner is black. In my head it's the cat in the corner is black black. Not the dog, not the gerbil. But someone else might say it, the cat in the corner is black. That's always fascinating to me how they just bring in all these different nuances and really make it fun and interesting and distinctive.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cindy Crawford]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well, I don't know about you, but, like, I never liked being told, oh, wow, you look so good for your age. Like, why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age, every age. That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful beauty, beautiful skin at every age. Learn [e-mail].

[Robert Smigel]

Folks, if you're like me, you love animals, but. And you're against hunting, but you love the idea of hunting, Right? Firing a gun at an animal in a perfect world where the animal doesn't die. Haven't you masturbated to that idea?

[Andy Breckman]

I have my list of things I've masturbated to, but I left it in the car.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay. You didn't come prepared.

[Andy Breckman]

I didn't come prepared.

[Robert Smigel]

What with everything happening with Trump, I don't blame you.

[Andy Breckman]

I need a bigger hard drive for you.

[Eric (Program Director)]

You didn't think you were gonna need the list?

[Andy Breckman]

I don't. I didn't think. It doesn't always come up in conversation. But you're saying thing you've always dreamt of hunting.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

Who hasn't?

[Eric (Program Director)]

Primal.

[Robert Smigel]

But listen, listen. Now you can hunt with no guilt. Guilt. It's an amazing thing. It combines the joy of hunting that men with, you know, lots of testosterone, much more testosterone than any of us could ever dream of, with the innocent, childlike fun of paintball.

[Eric (Program Director)]

It's an incredible product.

[Robert Smigel]

It's called Paintball Adventure. You know how these shopping malls are kind of falling apart? All the brand stores.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. What can.

[Robert Smigel]

What's that filling space.

[Andy Breckman]

They let animals loose in the mall.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Yes.

[Andy Breckman]

And what used to be Macy's.

[Robert Smigel]

Exactly. Or Sears most recently. Yes.

[Eric (Program Director)]

There are some that are. The full mall. That the whole mall is yours.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

There's one in North Jersey. It's a whole safari. It's a whole day.

[Robert Smigel]

That's amazing.

[Andy Breckman]

You have to get out of the gym.

[Robert Smigel]

That's amazing. But tonight I'm promoting Paintball Adventure, which is at several malls.

[Andy Breckman]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

All across the country now. And you sign up.

[Andy Breckman]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

You're immediately given a gun. No questions.

[Andy Breckman]

No questions asked.

[Robert Smigel]

Because there's no bullets.

[Andy Breckman]

There's only paint, and the animals are loose.

[Eric (Program Director)]

It's very. It's a lot of fun.

[Robert Smigel]

It is so much fun. Have you had fun doing?

[Eric (Program Director)]

Well, it's.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, what was your favorite animal?

[Eric (Program Director)]

It's fun shooting. It's. Look, it's fun shooting the sheep. It's fun shooting the goats. Like the bears. They give you this Kevlar suit.

[Robert Smigel]

They give you a Kevlar suit? And the bears.

[Andy Breckman]

I gonna need more painter. Drugged.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, I think. I think it's only right.

[Andy Breckman]

I mean, only animals. You can't chase and. And hunt homeless people.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, they won't let. They're testing it.

[Andy Breckman]

Apparently there's a beta.

[Robert Smigel]

There's a beta version with homeless people.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

It's good for beginners because they're slower. The homeless. It gives them work.

[Andy Breckman]

It does give them work.

[Robert Smigel]

This is work that. I'm sorry, AI is never going to replace this job.

[Andy Breckman]

That's true.

[Eric (Program Director)]

These people are really homeless because a lot of people are just trying to get the job.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Who aren't. Who have homes.

[Robert Smigel]

Some people moving out of their homes. Yeah. To qualify. Moving onto the street because it's fun.

[Andy Breckman]

And some of them, it's not just.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like, not even work. It's like a career.

[Eric (Program Director)]

The paint is flavored.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So it's flavored.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Oh, it's like a red paint issue.

[Robert Smigel]

Rabbits love it. This is guilt free leaded paint because it's green.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh. So if it's green, I can tell you my wife will pay 25 more for it.

[Robert Smigel]

Paintball adventure at your local mall.

[Eric (Program Director)]

You know why some kids love it.

[Robert Smigel]

Why?

[Eric (Program Director)]

You can bring your own dog. You can shoot your own dog.

[Robert Smigel]

I know. And you know the expression, it's a dog's life. Because dogs, after a while, like, how many times are they going to chase a ball? They're not idiots.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. It's a dog's life. Till I get to the mall.

[Robert Smigel]

Thank you. Use the code. You. You can shoot your own dog.

[Andy Breckman]

That's right.

[Robert Smigel]

I hard podcast 3694. Humor me. 86 ev 11 3.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

That's.

[Robert Smigel]

I forgot.

[Caller/Listener]

All right.

[Robert Smigel]

It's been about a month since we spoke to our good friend Mitch. Eric is joining me in the studio. Andy is joining me from his man cave. Looks beautiful.

[Andy Breckman]

Thank you.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Or is that like one of those key screen things that you put in just. Just to impress. Just to impress us?

[Andy Breckman]

If I was going to key screen something, I would. You'd be more impressed than this. Happy. Happy to be joining you. I wish I was with you in person.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, thanks for coming back.

[Andy Breckman]

So, of course.

[Robert Smigel]

Mitch has done a lot of work in the past month. I'm looking at my notes here. He recorded about eight of our ideas and we're not going to have time to play all of them unless we get a Patreon account and people actually want to spend money to hear everything. Mitch did. Or they could move to Seattle.

[Robot Voice]

I know.

[Robert Smigel]

Which is maybe the simplest thing. Just move to Seattle and listen to public radio. And then you. You'll get everything which is done for us. So let's start. Mitch, we. I sent you like basically a document with the help of Andy and Eric, and you've shit out or spit out or spewed out a fine number of them. Mitch, how did it feel? Did you have fun doing it?

[Mitch Etter]

Oh, it was super fun. And I totally intend to get to some of the other ideas you guys came up with.

[Robert Smigel]

Let's hear them and pass judgment.

[Andy Breckman]

I can pass judgment without hearing them if it saves time.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, you know what? We might need you to do that. But let's. Let's shoot for hearing them first.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

First Space 101.1 KMGP, LPFM, Magnuson Park. My name is Mitch Eder and this is Northwest Orbit. Local music Tuesdays from 7 to 8pm Give me an hour of music and I'll give you what feels like an hour and a half of music.

[Robert Smigel]

That's great. That was the slogan there. I want to thank our donors, including

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Deborah from Greenwood, Charles from Queen Anne and Jenny from Bellingham. We also want to thank all of our non donor listeners. Robot, could you help with that?

[Robot Voice]

Certainly, Mitch. Thank you. To Marion Everett, Todd in Boise, Alex in Maple Leaf, Lily in Tuscaloosa, Art Garfunkel but not fat. Art Garfunkel in Yakima, Eric in Botswana, Sarah in Shoreline, Fred, Big Daddy Davies in Tacoma, Noah, Brian, Josh and Dave in Baltimore. We're not doing more music until we thank everybody by name. Thank you for listening to us. Barry, Harry, Sherry, Terry, Gary, Larry, Terry, Brian, Ferry, Brenda and Debbie. Homer, Marge, Art, Lisa, Harry.

[Robert Smigel]

Now it's turned into a Johnny Carson joke.

[Robot Voice]

Paul, George, Ringo, Leonardo.

[Andy Breckman]

Fantastic.

[Robot Voice]

Cut off your Slauson, Michelangelo, Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer, Terry, Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte, Huey, Dewey, Louie.

[Robert Smigel]

These are all real people.

[Robot Voice]

Theodore, Hank, Dale, Bill Palmer, Shaggy, Scooby, Fred, Velma, Daphne, Frodo, Sam.

[Andy Breckman]

This is called. This is called Committing to the Bit.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes. Andy Kaufman would be like, easy. We get it.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, that's fantastic. That was great. I have to say. That was great job.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

Thank you.

[Eric (Program Director)]

All your cultural references appeal to everybody over the age of 55.

[Robert Smigel]

No, there were a few. Few for the youngsters in there, but not many. Right.

[Mitch Etter]

I think I snuck Pokemon and maybe that's about the only young thing in there.

[Andy Breckman]

Mitch, what kind of response did you get from that?

[Mitch Etter]

We're a small station, so I wasn't sure like, if I was going to hear from anyone on this kind of stuff. And I got quite a few emails, some from other DJs on staff and a few just from random listeners who they didn't have the context of, like, oh, I'm doing this as part of this, like, Humor Me podcast. It was just going out there without context and people got the joke. I was very happy about that.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah, I wonder what it's like for people to get the joke. I've never experienced that.

[Robert Smigel]

So you did the bit that we suggested that had to do with parodying the way FM DJs play like four songs in a row and then recap.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yep.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Liv Victorino on Space 101.1 with the song Neighborhood before that, lightweight champion with Winter Leaves. Before that, I had an argument with my mom.

[Mitch Etter]

She wants me to move out, but

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I don't get paid to do this, so I told her she has to suck it up. Before that, I noticed my phone ringing. I tried not to pick it up, but notice it was from my mother. I sighed deeply, knowing that not picking it up would be a net loss. And before that, we heard Hockey Teeth with their song Sick of Me.

[Robert Smigel]

Very nice. Is that it or Is there more bass?

[Mitch Etter]

101.1 My name is Mitch Etter and

[Narrator/Interviewer]

we just heard local band Mallard and

[Mitch Etter]

their song Cut Me Loose.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Before that, Lovely Colors with no Angel. Before that, I figured out today's Wordle. It took me five turns but over an hour and ten minutes. And I wondered, was there a more productive way I could fill the void inside me, the emptiness that threatens to swallow me whole. For that weird Hockey Teeth and the song you're Not Mine, they did one more.

[Andy Breckman]

That's great.

[Mitch Etter]

So this next one in the video was again, I forget whose idea, but to create a rivalry with the person whose show is right after mine.

[Robert Smigel]

I bet it was Andy's. Anyway, it doesn't matter who. This is a team sport, this show. That's the beauty of this show.

[Andy Breckman]

I think Richard Nixon used to say, I'll take the responsibility, but not the blame.

[Robert Smigel]

You know what? Norman Lear came up with all of these. Sorry, go ahead.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I only got time for a couple more songs. Megan is up next with her show,

[Mitch Etter]

the Bargain Bin Vinyl Hour.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I'd normally say stay tuned for that, but I can't really do that in good conscience. Megan is. Well, you'll hear for yourself in a couple minutes.

[Mitch Etter]

She's a really bad person.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Just today she called into this show scolding me and demanding I quit doing this. Show I have 7 to 8pm she is 8 to 9pm but that's not good enough for Megan. She's. She's a really menacing, conniving, twisted, sinister community radio dj. She wants my time slot and I'm not giving it to her.

[Mitch Etter]

She's keyed my car as a result. But I do this show for you good people.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Megan doesn't want you to have this show, but I want you to have it. And I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I, I think it is important

[Mitch Etter]

to say that if any terrible accident were to ever happen to me, I,

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I think investigators should be highly suspicious of Megan.

[Robert Smigel]

Wow.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

I love it.

[Robert Smigel]

Beautiful. Kind of low key commitment.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Eric (Program Director)]

You've guaranteed your safety now because Megan has to make sure that's true

[Caller/Listener]

because

[Andy Breckman]

she should fire security.

[Mitch Etter]

That played.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And did people, People didn't get that one.

[Caller/Listener]

I bet.

[Robert Smigel]

Were people like, what the. Is he doing that one?

[Mitch Etter]

The only person I heard from was Megan where I, I said I sent her the full text of what I was going to say and she like, can we tone that down a little bit? Like, no, it, it has to be this way.

[Robert Smigel]

And have you, did you do a follow up show yet where you just pretended it never happened and went on with your show?

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, there was no follow up to that.

[Robert Smigel]

So you're just on the record.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Well, you can keep attacking Megan.

[Robot Voice]

Right.

[Mitch Etter]

This could really become a whole soap opera.

[Robert Smigel]

Just storylines and evil for people that. I am not suicidal.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, know, if anything happens to me, just know

[Eric (Program Director)]

you can apologize. You can apologize to her and say you took it too far and then

[Robert Smigel]

please don't and then retaliate. That would be really funny. If he's apologizing for taking it too far because he's legitimately scared of me.

[Andy Breckman]

Probably nothing will move ratings better than a good healthy rivalry like that.

[Eric (Program Director)]

What if Megan, what if Megan's show just takes off and it does nothing for Mitch?

[Robert Smigel]

She's dangerous.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah. Tell me more about this twisted community broadcast.

[Mitch Etter]

We're talking apologies. Do we want to transition into the apology bit?

[Robert Smigel]

Sure.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Space 101.1 KMGP LPFM Magnuson Park. My name is Mitchetter and this is Northwest Orbit. Local music from around the Pacific Northwest every Tuesday from 7 to 8pm before we get into the music tonight, I want to start the show by addressing my audience. I want to apologize for what I did. I realized my actions were wrong and I hope in the coming weeks I can regain your trust. Specifically, I want to apologize to my pastor, to CeCe to Jeff, to Cynthia, to Ryan, Caitlin, Ada, and Ramona Herman. I'm sorry. To the employees at Raymond's Lounge in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. I also want to deeply apologize to former Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki Moon and his sister, whom I know now was in the of name next room. Additional apologies are owed to Patrick L, Patrick M, Patrick N, Patrick O, Patrick P. Martin, and especially Svengoolie. Thank you for letting me get that out there. We do have a good show tonight. First up, originally from Issaquah, Washington, we're going to hear Modest Mouse with Night on the Sun.

[Andy Breckman]

That was. That was fantastic.

[Robert Smigel]

It really was.

[Podcast Guest]

You're just.

[Robert Smigel]

Thank you. Because you're not trying to be funny, you know, which is the secret. There's callers. Yeah.

[Robot Voice]

Oh, wow.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, wow. It's a home run.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

101.1. The phone lines are open, and we're gonna go to our first caller. Can you hear me? Who do we have on the line?

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, this is Damien.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Hey, Damien.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

Good. Hey, I was. I'm listening to the show in the car, and I heard you apologizing. What happened?

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Well, to be honest, Damien, it's not something I really want to fully revisit. I think everyone involved just kind of wants to move on, you know, kind of keep the past in the past.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, but, like, what did you do?

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I. I mean, no one got physically hurt or anything, but they saw things they can't unsee. And I acknowledge that they'll never be able to look at a caterpillar the same way again. And for that, I do sincerely apologize to them.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, did he.

[Mitch Etter]

Still there?

[Narrator/Interviewer]

I think we lost our caller there. But, Damien, thank you for the call. We're gonna get back into the music, and we will have more callers after this. Next up is the band Ponzi. And you can see this band playing tomorrow at the Sunset Tavern right here in Seattle. This is come to you by Ponzi.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I think Damian's driving to Truth and Consequences to investigate.

[Andy Breckman]

You know, the next show. The next. The next show you do. You should apologize to Damien for what

[Caller/Listener]

you did,

[Andy Breckman]

as if you sought him out and hurt him.

[Robert Smigel]

And the caterpillar. I want to know what in your head, what I'm supposed to conjure. I didn't think too much about it. Caterpillar the same way again?

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah.

[Andy Breckman]

Unless you man a caterpillar tractor, which would be much more serious.

[Robert Smigel]

Right? Or maybe it was a human caterpillar.

[Mitch Etter]

Like the human centipede.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Mitch Etter]

Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Announcer]

What?

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, what's next? You did, you have another caller. Good, good.

[Mitch Etter]

There's a couple more callers.

[Robert Smigel]

Great.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Oh, beautiful tune to Northwest Orbit. My name is Mitch Etter. If you're just tuning in, I've been owning up to some mistakes that I've made and I'm trying to remedy that with some apologies to the public. Callers are on the line. And who do we have on the phone right now?

[Caller/Listener]

Mitch, this is Eric, the program director. As in your boss. I gotta be honest here. I gotta be honest, man. I'm pretty unhappy, disappointed if your professionalism in this whole thing. I've been getting calls and emails about this whole situation and I don't think your earlier apology really was sufficient. Okay, you didn't even mention the thing with the breadstick. The damage to the government property is a real liability to the station.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Okay, Eric, I'm sorry. Thank you for the call.

[Mitch Etter]

I'll do better in the future.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Next up, we've got music from Hockey Teeth. This is their song, the Seasons Hockey

[Robert Smigel]

Teeth always makes everything better.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

That is Hockey Teeth with the seasons. And I understand we have Joey from the band Hockey Teeth on the line right now.

[Mitch Etter]

Joey, how are ya?

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, Mitch. Just heard you play our song. Listen, man, in the future I'd prefer if you didn't play your music on your show. We appreciate the support, but really don't want to be associated with someone who dressed the way you chose to at that Halloween party.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Okay, Joey, I'll acknowledge that was a misfire on my behalf, but in my defense, it was too hot in that room, was it not?

[Robert Smigel]

Look, man, I don't know.

[Caller/Listener]

I had that fan in my dinosaur suit, so I felt fine. But I just know that what we saw from you was repulsive. And honestly, I just like you to not play any Hockey Teeth music for a while.

[Narrator/Interviewer]

Okay, that's disappointing, but again, I understand. Thank you for the call, Joey. I, I, I'm sorry. But up next, we've actually got a request and it's another song by Hockey Teeth, so this is sick of me.

[Mitch Etter]

No, space one.

[Caller/Listener]

No, no, no, no.

[Robert Smigel]

Did you write all those interactions?

[Mitch Etter]

I did, yeah.

[Podcast Guest]

Wow.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Was that really Joey from Hockey Teeth?

[Mitch Etter]

That was really Joey from Hockeyteeth. By the way, he loves all you guys and he was excited to be a part of the bit.

[Andy Breckman]

Well, I am now. I'm now a fan of Hockey Teeth as well. That was a great call.

[Eric (Program Director)]

It would be great if more and more bands call you to have you not play that much.

[Andy Breckman]

Exactly.

[Eric (Program Director)]

Just every show someone calls and requests.

[Andy Breckman]

And then I do love that the next song Hung up was Hockey team.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, that was great.

[Andy Breckman]

That was great.

[Robert Smigel]

Really well done. Yeah, I like that more and more bands call until the show is just apologies.

[Andy Breckman]

Just apologies and threats of lawsuits.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Wow, that was fun.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

I.

[Mitch Etter]

That's the first call in show I've ever done, and I definitely want to do more of that.

[Andy Breckman]

That's great.

[Robert Smigel]

Incredible.

[Andy Breckman]

I have to say. I mean, I'm. I'm. I'm honored to have been a small part of this, but I don't know if you need to. Need much help if, you know, you. You seem to.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, all he needs are like little germs of ideas and, yeah, he's running with them beautifully. Like, the references are really subtle.

[Andy Breckman]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Now I feel like a judge on a reality show. I like the references.

[Andy Breckman]

The execution has been.

[Caller/Listener]

Is.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

Is great.

[Andy Breckman]

It's really good. It really is. I feel like. I feel like the three of us, you know, are proud parents.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Parents.

[Andy Breckman]

And our son is. Is off. Is off on his own.

[Eric (Program Director)]

I kind of want to go to Seattle and get to work on more bits.

[Robert Smigel]

I know, I know. That would be great if we just explained to our wives that we're moving.

[Eric (Program Director)]

We've gone to work for Mitch, editor.

[Andy Breckman]

We're gonna write material for Mitch for public radio.

[Mitch Etter]

You're welcome anytime.

[Andy Breckman]

Our wives would say, but why can't you do it from home? Why do you have to show be there?

[Robert Smigel]

You did the first one by remote from your.

[Andy Breckman]

Why do we have to move to Seattle?

[Eric (Program Director)]

It's the only way to meet Joey from hockey.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, you're off to a great start.

[Mitch Etter]

Thank you.

[Robert Smigel]

I. You know, I was hoping. Do you think these would suck and I could make fun of you because that's what everybody listening wanted, but you blew it, man. All right, well, there's proof the show works. We did it.

[Mitch Etter]

Made me funny. Thank you.

[Robert Smigel]

We. We. Well, you helped a little bit, but. But yeah, we. We got it going. I. I guess it's my job to say wrap it up. And Andy, thank you again.

[Andy Breckman]

Oh, no, thank you. I'm so. I was proud to be a small part of it. That was great.

[Robert Smigel]

A large part. And Eric, thank you as always. Love you guys. And, Mitch, congratulations.

[Mitch Etter]

Thank you.

[Robert Smigel]

All right, that's it, guys. Here come the credits. Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends is a production of I Heart Media and Big Money Players, created by Michelle Sachs Smigel, who executive produces with her loving husband Robert. Produced by Frank Stinky Smiley, executive producer for Iheart, Jana Cagle Video producer Daniel Goodman Additional material by David Cyrus, David Feldman Hannah Feldman Edited by Robert Ash Theme music by Stephen Gold Sung by America's leading Bruce Springsteen impersonator, Robert L. Poopstein. Don't forget to subscribe and follow to get new episodes of Humor Me each week. And while you're there, rate and review the show. That is, if you liked it. If you didn't, this conversation never happened, and we'll see you next week. I've got an itch for Mitch I've

[Podcast Guest]

got an itch for Mitch.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

I've got an itch for Mitch.

[Kal Penn]

Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay the Audible and I iheart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

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[Caller/Listener]

What?

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

Yes, with all new episodes of Tyler Perry's Divorces, sisters you've always liked, a little drama, plus a whole new world of movies like Gladiator 2.

[Robert Smigel]

Now I will control an empire.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

Original series like the Shy.

[Robert Smigel]

Just make sure we protect each other

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

and live sports like ufc.

[Robert Smigel]

Welcome to the history books.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

New home, same family. Your BET favorites are now on Paramount Plus. Subscribe now.

[Megan (Radio DJ)]

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[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Literally.

[Podcast Announcer]

I mean, you could just keep buying new underwear. Not that I've ever done that. Or maybe sort your clothes into piles based on how re wearable or filthy they are. Or just use arm and hammer. Deep Clean. It's made for real life stinks and stains. So even if you don't do laundry, the quote right way Deep Clean will knock it out. I mean, it is from the number one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other come clean with Arm and Hammer Deep clean number one claim based on total wash loads sold. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.