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Robert Smigel
This is an iHeart podcast.
Bob Odenkirk
Guaranteed Human what's up y'?
Robert Smigel
All?
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Robert Smigel
That chill.
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Kal Penn
hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I ner with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I am the grown man who was once the young man who became a meme on the Internet called the Kazoo Kid. Despite a lot of people recognizing 8 year old me, nobody recognizes adult me. And that's my problem.
Robert Smigel
You know, people love alternate universe shows, right? Those are very big right now. What if there's an alternate universe show where you guys are incredibly popular like you're superstars?
Bruce McCulloch
Well. And they could travel up the land doing meet and greets and solving crimes.
Tay Zonday
Yeah, no, like.
Bob Odenkirk
Well, tell us a little bit about how we got there.
Robert Smigel
Good question. That's an excellent question.
Bob Odenkirk
This is a blue screen show, okay? We don't need actors, we don't need voices, we don't need scripts.
Robert Smigel
Okay?
Bob Odenkirk
You guys fill in the blanks. But in fact.
Robert Smigel
Okay, I'm not.
Bob Odenkirk
You go home. I want you to fall asleep tonight. I don't want you to have any dreams. I just want you to have a smile on your face knowing that in the morning you're going to tell your boss I get a show you and you're going to swear in his face.
Robert Smigel
I got a speech to make. Job interview. I don't know what to say or what to do. Humor me. I'm not funny. You know me. How you doing? Thank you. I really want to thank you all for coming tonight to this sketch fest show. I realize you have many other entertainment options in this town, especially tonight. I mean, a lot of you could have gone to the Melania movie, but you chose not to. And that really means a lot to me. You held back. I'm not above doing impressions. My two guests are, but I'm not above it. This is great. It's a little off putting for me, actually seeing an audience when I perform here, because I've been here numerous times, but it's always been behind a puppet stage. I was just here two years ago at the Castro. Did anybody see. Come poop with Me? Okay, a fair amount of you saw it and I'm sure some of you might be a little disappointed Triumph's not performing here. Fuck you people. I'm so much more than just that. Okay, okay, maybe not so much more, but no. Fine. You know what? You don't have to feel bad for me. It's too late. Don't pretend. We'll do it. We'll do a little try.
Starbucks Ad Voice
But wait.
Robert Smigel
You've got to earn it. I want to hear a chant. We want Triumph as opposed to Robert.
Starbucks Ad Voice
We want.
Robert Smigel
Let's hear. Okay. Be right back. Keep it going.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Almost.
Robert Smigel
One more. We watch.
Kal Penn
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
All right. Make some noise. San Francisco. Let's go. All right. Welcome to sketch fest. 20, 20, 26, ladies and gentlemen. Now, wait. I realize ladies and gentlemen doesn't cover the entire spectrum of gender identities here tonight, but we only have the theater for two hours, so relax. All these jokes have been cleared by Dave Chappelle. So we're good. We're totally good. No, no, I kid, I kid. We're in progressive San Francisco. And let me state right here that I will not tolerate hate speech. Thank you. I am going to try to not make jokes about any of the ethnic groups you all priced out of this town. I kid. I kid. I love San Francisco. Some of the greatest authors of fiction come from the Bay Area. Mark Twain, Jack London, Elizabeth Holmes. Yes, but it's inspiring to see a festival line up with this much diversity. Honestly, from comics I don't give a shit about. To comics no one gives a shit about Fathomf. It's a rainbow of suck. But tonight. Tonight we have a very special show for you. Tonight we have three comics on the stage. Three comics that people all used to give a shit about. Let's bring them out. First, you loved him in Kids in the Hall.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Now.
Robert Smigel
Now, enjoy him in Kids in the hall. Bruce McCalla, Right there in the middle, my friend. Look at Bruce. My God, you're so well preserved. Check who's kidding who. You're aging worse than the Cosby Show. No, he's doing great. You're still technically in show business. Yes,
Bruce McCulloch
I dabble.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, yeah, right. And I'm still in the French Bulldog that I fucked last night. All right, next. His iconic series, Mr. Show, was so popular that he quit comedy. Here is Bob Oldenkirk. There he goes. Have a seat, my friend. My God, thank you. Look at him.
Bob Odenkirk
Yes, look at me.
Robert Smigel
No, he actually looks great. He's aged the best. Mostly because he's the only one of us who can afford makeup. No, he's great. He's an action hero. It's the new thing. It's the new thing. You're doing it. I think Jeff Garland's going to be an actor. Yeah. No, but I tell you what, Bob.
Tay Zonday
Yeah?
Robert Smigel
Seriously. You were smart. You got out of comedy at the right time. It's too fucking dangerous now. No, but honestly, why did you leave comedy? Was it for Breaking Bad? Or did you just run out of meta sketches? You heard me first. It's a living room scene, and then it turns into a horse race, and then it turns out it's all happening.
Bob Odenkirk
That was never the good part of Mr. Show. Now, if you give me an hour and a half, I'LL tell you what
Robert Smigel
was good about Mr. Show. Mr. Show was great. These are jokes. He really is out of comedy. My God. All right, folks. You deserve a great show. Let's bring it on. Let's make it happen right now. Oh, I have one more person to introduce. Here he is. Albert. Smile.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
All right.
Robert Smigel
Oh, shit. All right. I'm. I'm so sorry about that. And I just don't know how that happened. Well, these. Blame them. Did you hear what they were chanting?
Bob Odenkirk
Yes, yes, I heard.
Robert Smigel
That's how badly.
Bob Odenkirk
Totally unprovoked.
Robert Smigel
Totally unprovoked.
Bob Odenkirk
Their way in. They were chanting it all the way.
Robert Smigel
That's how badly they didn't want me. Okay, I have my notes for the show.
Bruce McCulloch
Great stagecraft, Robert.
Robert Smigel
I'm a.
Bob Odenkirk
Don't worry.
Robert Smigel
I knew it, Bruce.
Bob Odenkirk
Don't worry. All this will be cut out.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
It's like the whole thing.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. The whole show will be cut out.
Bruce McCulloch
Yes. They'll be airing mash.
Robert Smigel
I hope it's a good one.
Bruce McCulloch
Can we get a roadie who's also a volunteer?
Robert Smigel
Okay, here we go. We've been on stage together once before. We did a song together. We were. It was a concert that featured Jeanine Garofalo, the Kids in the hall, Mr. Show, and triumph. It was called Clash of the Titans in Los Angeles. And for Triumph's act, I asked these two guys to sing a song with me. It was from the Come Poop With Me album. It's called you have to Work Blue. It was. I had. I wanted these guys to play cranky old comics like Triumph. And I had Bruce play Cabbage Head and Triumph. And Bob was going to do it, but then he. He backed out at first, so. But anyway, the song was like, cranky, cranky old comics. And like, you know, you have to work Blue.
Kal Penn
Blue.
Robert Smigel
That's what you do. Throw him a shit and a piss and a poo and word.
Kal Penn
Blue.
Robert Smigel
Blue. And then. And then we would stop the song and do little bits like, hey, doctor, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts. And then Bruce would say, stop sucking your father's cock. Then we'd go back into the song and it was all about us, you know, bemoaning the old days of comedy and not understanding this new stuff. So Bob didn't want to sing with it because he got a better idea. He was like, let me come out as an impressionist. I was like, okay. So we introduced him as an old timey impressionist. This is the best impressionist ever. Not like this fucking new kid Rich little. And so Bob comes out, we're all dressed like old time comedians, and he comes out and he says he's gonna do Franklin Roosevelt. You know, Bob doesn't want to recreate it because he doesn't even remember this, but. But he's like, I'm Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And then he literally, out of his coat, he pulls out a dildo. And then he pulls something. He reaches into his pants in the back and pulls out something that looks like shit, smears his face with the shit and starts mouthing the dildo. I'm Franklin Roosevelt. I'm Franklin Roosevelt. And of course, Triumph and Cabbage Head are like, that's impressions. That's an impression. And the best part is that this was all for a charity event. It was a charity benefit. And, yeah, actually, people may know, I have an autistic son. This was only a few years after. And Bob set up an entire fundraiser for me and really meant a lot.
Bob Odenkirk
Great fun.
Kal Penn
Yep.
Robert Smigel
And Bob is, you know, he's one of my oldest.
Bruce McCulloch
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Oldest and greatest friends. And I just, you know.
Bob Odenkirk
Well, come on, man.
Kal Penn
When you.
Robert Smigel
When you had your heart attack.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Not to bring the audience in, but when you had your heart attack.
Bruce McCulloch
Which one? He's had five.
Robert Smigel
No, no, the first one that was
Bruce McCulloch
my favorite was the third, but go.
Robert Smigel
No, the first one was the only one that, you know, after that, it was like, come on, Bob. But when you had that first heart attack and you were in the hospital, I didn't jerk off for two days. I don't know if I've ever told you that.
Bob Odenkirk
The sacrifices we make.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, it's. Friendship is important.
Robert Smigel
This isn't a charity event. Right. Okay, good. Okay, now, so these guys, I met them Both in the 80s and Bruce worked with me at SNL. The first year we got there was 1985. We were both Apprentice writers and both of these guys had a big influence on me. And I wanted to ask them about this because they both, when I met them, they seemed like fully formed in their sensibilities and they wrote amazing stuff. The kids in the hall was, like, on fire even back then. And. Yeah. So I wanted to ask you guys, like, when did you know? Because I'd only been at it for, like, a couple of years, and when I got to Saturday Night Live, I just was, like, so in love with that show that I just. All I was trying to do was figure out how to fit in, how to make them happy. These guys didn't have that reverence and they just had their own sensibilities I
Bob Odenkirk
was determined to end Saturday Night Live.
Robert Smigel
Yes, you were. You were. You were. You were, you were.
Bob Odenkirk
I. I was thankful to get to work there, but it's nice that you give us. Give the compliment. I don't know how you feel about it, Bruce, but I certainly don't feel that I knew what the hell I was doing or that I still do.
Robert Smigel
I know.
Bruce McCulloch
I. Yeah, it's kind that you say that. All I remember, and Scott Thompson will point this out, is I just gained, like, 20 pounds.
Robert Smigel
Oh. At the show.
Bruce McCulloch
On the show. Because I'm so fucking unhappy and. But nobody, like, got my stuff. Actually, George Meyer, many years later, says, I get it now. When he saw the Kids in the Hall.
Robert Smigel
Well, yeah, we all saw Kids in the hall performance.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yes.
Robert Smigel
And then George Meyer was like, I see when he's perfectly performed.
Bruce McCulloch
Yes. But although Dennis Miller turned to somebody beside him when he saw us and said, mccullough's never going to make a buck in this business. And he was partially right.
Robert Smigel
Made seven bucks.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
Well, Canadian money is not worth.
Robert Smigel
It was back then. It was the exchange approved. The exchange was way better back then.
Bruce McCulloch
The thing that I remember and I loved about working with Schmeigel is, you know, Schmeigel.
Bob Odenkirk
Always, Always Schmeigel. It's always been Schmeigel, by the way.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
He loves his own ideas so much. So he would fall, he would do something, and he would just, like the. And then he does it, and it's like he doesn't even look at you, but he just laughs. And then we'd be writing late at night, and he'd be on the phone pitching something to someone. We're in the middle of writing a sketch, and it's like. It's almost baby talk. And I think he's probably pitching the sketch to his girlfriend, and it turns out he was talking to his mother.
Bob Odenkirk
No. Yes.
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
You'd always pitch the sketch.
Robert Smigel
It was my first year away from home. That's really true. It was. That's absolutely true.
Bruce McCulloch
It's actually the only thing I remember about you.
Robert Smigel
Bruce was like these. I was a complete geek. I really was. Like, these guys were cool. Mark McKinney and Bruce, they were, like, current. And I had a Jew fro from 1978, and I couldn't get rid of. Couldn't, wouldn't get rid of. These guys had figured out by the mid-80s to shave the sides of their head and all that. And I wore, like, a down jacket, and they wore pea coats and I don't know. Everybody loved them. And I was just like. At a certain point, I was like, fuck it. I'm just gonna be judged on what I write. And I just went for that. And they worked out.
Bob Odenkirk
You wrote the best things on Saturday.
Robert Smigel
Well, it worked out creatively.
Bob Odenkirk
15 years. I mean, you know, someday we'll do the Robert Smigel documentary and everyone will finally understand. It's fine that.
Robert Smigel
No, I had a very good.
Bob Odenkirk
Save the show.
Robert Smigel
Okay. All right, all right.
Bruce McCulloch
I remember once that.
Robert Smigel
Go ahead.
Bob Odenkirk
And I really mean that. I said it like it was a joke, but it wasn't a joke.
Bruce McCulloch
It was also a joke. Robert and I wrote, like, sometimes I wouldn't get stuff in for months at a time. And we wrote an update joke together. And it got on, and I said, lauren, we wrote that joke. He says, oh, it takes two men to write a joke now,
Knix Ad Voice
really?
Robert Smigel
And then he had. And then he ate a golden egg.
Bruce McCulloch
Jan Hooks egg.
Robert Smigel
Oh, my God. Can't get through a show without imitating Lauren. Well, do you guys feel like we've established a rapport?
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah, it's all good.
Robert Smigel
Okay, good. We'll get into the show. But actually, we want to acknowledge how sad we are to have lost Catherine o', Hara. One of our heroes. Yeah, absolute heroes. One of the greatest sketch performers I've ever seen. You know, I remember her from the original SCTV and just being amazed at how she just disappeared into characters. You know, some people, they're always the same person, and that's great in their own way, but Catherine o' Hara was like a. A walking miracle. And.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah, yeah, always funny.
Bruce McCulloch
Go ahead, sir.
Bob Odenkirk
I mean, just how funny she was. Like, it's crazy. It's crazy. She just hit new highs every time. And then also could do drama or anything, really.
Bruce McCulloch
You may or may not know, I directed Schitt's Creek for a season. Thank you. And like, the funniest person. And it's like, she would come to set and I'd say, don't run lines, Eugene. Don't make her run lines. We just shoot her. And the first time she did it, it was the best. And, like, there's a lot of sadness today, but I think what people aren't bringing up today is that she could drink like a fucking sailor. And I think we need to acknowledge that.
Robert Smigel
Very nice. Okay, end it on a good note there.
Bruce McCulloch
Robert told me to do a joke
Robert Smigel
after, you know, the premise of the show. Now you're gonna hear our guest.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Hey, Robert. My name's Brett Ambler. And I am the grown man who was once the young man who became a meme on the Internet called the Kazoo Kid. He goes, wait a minute, who are you? I've been an actor since I was 8 years old. And despite a lot of people recognizing 8 year old me, nobody recognizes adult me. And that's my problem. So if you can help me solve that, I'd be absolutely delighted. That's pretty much the whole situation. I'm a meme and I'm just not famous enough as an adult. So what's the plan? Cheers and thank you.
Robert Smigel
Let's bring him out. Brett Ambler, everybody.
Bob Odenkirk
All good to have you.
Robert Smigel
Thank you, Brett. Thanks so much, Brett. Pleasure.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Good to be here.
Robert Smigel
Brett. You want to tell us? Just give the people a little bit of background. You. This was a show or was it a video?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah, it was a video. It was a 30 minute play along, sing along video that came with a kazoo shrink wrapped to the side of the box to annoy the crap out of the parents. And it was sold at mom and
Robert Smigel
pop toy stores and it outsold Teddy Ruxpin.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I beat Teddy Ruxpin for an education award.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Suck it.
Robert Smigel
Take that, Tedd.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
That's right.
Bruce McCulloch
So.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
And then it. It kind of faded into obscurity until 2016 when somebody uploaded it onto YouTube
Robert Smigel
and it became a meme.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
So let's watch a little bit of it. Let's just give you a taste of what this is.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I. I used to be really adorable. Brace yourselves.
Robert Smigel
There we go. Well, you be the judge. Don't run, jump, or dance while playing the kazoo.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Thanks.
Bob Odenkirk
Oh, hi.
Robert Smigel
Wait a minute. Who are you?
Bob Odenkirk
You know what?
Robert Smigel
I think we're gonna be friends.
Bob Odenkirk
And when I'm with friends, I like to have fun. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. I like to sing, dance, pretend, and ca.
Robert Smigel
There he is. Wow.
Tay Zonday
Wow.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
It's pretty glorious.
Robert Smigel
Wow. So, Brett, I mean, that was something. I'm just glad. I just want to say I'm glad we're in San Francisco. Francisco, a compassionate city, understanding city. I'm just like. Because if this were like Boston Sketch Fest, I feel like, you know, they would have bum rushed the stage and beaten you to a pulp.
Bruce McCulloch
I mean, if this was Hartford Sketch Fest and everybody there, as you know, wears tube socks, they would fucking kill him.
Robert Smigel
They would kill him before they killed him, though. They would drag him out of the building.
Bruce McCulloch
Correction. They would tie him to the car with a rope and some birch bark because Hartford's so backward. I don't have anything against Hartford, Boston.
Robert Smigel
Boston. They would have. It would have been driven straight into Boston harbor and they would have shot
Bob Odenkirk
kazoos up your ass.
Robert Smigel
Yes.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Wouldn't be the first time.
Robert Smigel
Bob would have happened. They would have. I didn't hear you.
Kal Penn
You.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Wouldn't be the first time.
Robert Smigel
Wouldn't be the first time. Okay, well, I just think, you know, the second you died in Boston harbor and you would have met the ghost of White Bulger and he would have. He would have shoved the ghost of a kazoo up your. So listen, you want to be famous again?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I wouldn't mind. Yeah, that sounds good.
Robert Smigel
But I'm a little confused because you became seem famous because, like, not when you were young as much as like when this meme happened. Yeah, like my teenage boys knew about you. Yeah, I didn't know about you. And, and. But I want to know when this came out, you know, back in the 80s, were you famous then? I mean, did. Did Michael Jackson call you?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
He faxed me.
Robert Smigel
He faxed you? Those were the days I missed facts. Taxes from pedophiles.
Bruce McCulloch
And it was. It was Rudy.
Robert Smigel
It was so much more civil.
Bruce McCulloch
And no, he said, boy, you up.
Robert Smigel
So you never got to see Neverland? I mean, what was this for?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
No, I know, that's. I mean, that's why I made it.
Robert Smigel
And then no alcohol. You were never plied?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
No. No plying?
Robert Smigel
No.
Bob Odenkirk
No.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Nobody offered me free drugs.
Robert Smigel
Well, you've been trying to cast capitalize on your fame lately. I think we have a picture of you on Instagram. There we go. So you've definitely been trying to capitalize on your fame.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
And I guess it this somehow it hasn't taken
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
weird.
Robert Smigel
But here's the irony because, you know, we could be making fun of him, but I swear to God, I did some research and he's actually incredibly talented. You play a ton of instruments.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Am I right? And you're in a band. You got a show tomorrow back in Denver.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yes. With Bantham House.
Robert Smigel
And you're playing upright bass.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yes.
Robert Smigel
You know Bruce is a bass player.
Bruce McCulloch
Yes, I am a bass player.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Would you like. Would you like to take a couple of minutes for some bass talk?
Bruce McCulloch
Well, I. You know, I have a Hoffner bass, which is a Beatle bass.
Robert Smigel
Talk to him.
Bruce McCulloch
Do you know what a beetle bass is? No, I don't like the one that Paul McCartney. I've heard of him. Yeah. And my drunk now dead salesman father bought it and it's the only thing he left me.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
That's beautiful.
Bruce McCulloch
Oh, and his work gloves.
Robert Smigel
And his work gloves.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Which do you treasure more?
Bruce McCulloch
I play the bass with the work gloves. It gives it a real bottomy nice sound.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I play an upright base. I have no idea what brand. My upright base.
Robert Smigel
Excellent singer.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I mean, thanks.
Bruce McCulloch
He.
Robert Smigel
He has been in music. Musical theater in Denver tons. Real musical theater. Gets reviewed in the Denver Post. You did. You had huge parts in. In. This is.
Bob Odenkirk
This is going to be easy then.
Bruce McCulloch
Yeah.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Good. Thank you.
Bob Odenkirk
I haven't so far. I haven't heard anything about, you know, where you've taken the kazoo. Well, but because I. It feels like you abandoned that instrument. You lost interest. You picked something easier like the bass.
Robert Smigel
He tried.
Bob Odenkirk
You gave up.
Bruce McCulloch
But Bob, I would be remiss to differ.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Bob.
Bob Odenkirk
You brought one?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
No, I brought three.
Robert Smigel
Ah, of course.
Bob Odenkirk
So.
Robert Smigel
So he tried to incorporate the kazoo into the musicals. He did for a reason.
Bob Odenkirk
And yeah, this.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I snuck a kazoo into a show once or twice.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. Natasha Pierre and the Great Big horror. Right? Oh, you saw it, right? Natasha Pierre and the great big horrible no good, Very bad day.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
You saw it in Denver.
Robert Smigel
Okay.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Thanks for coming.
Robert Smigel
Okay. Do you have a microphone? Jesus. I mean that's. I wish I could project like that.
Tay Zonday
Damn.
Robert Smigel
Okay, so you also performed at Busch Gardens.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah, one of my first gigs out of college was. Was performing at Busch Gardens Williamsburg and
Robert Smigel
it was like at the. The German Dots Fest house.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Dot's Fest house. Yeah.
Robert Smigel
So you were in Later Hosen and. Oh yeah, you're an excellent yodeler as well.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I did. I did figure out how to yodel for that show.
Bob Odenkirk
Yes.
Robert Smigel
Okay, so we have a lot of talents we can draw from. You want to give us a little yodeling, please?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Oh, yeah, right.
Bob Odenkirk
Be your lady.
Robert Smigel
Your lady. Keep going. Okay, so we have. We have.
Bob Odenkirk
I see a one man band thing.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Go, go.
Robert Smigel
Let's go now.
Bob Odenkirk
One man band, but Sci fi. He's been duplicated.
Tay Zonday
Sci fi.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
One man.
Bob Odenkirk
You know, one of you yodels, one plays bass.
Tay Zonday
Wow.
Bob Odenkirk
Of course. The kazoo man is the captain of the ship.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Oh, yes.
Bob Odenkirk
Hold on. Slow down. It's a ship in space. It's shaped like a banjo. But it's not a joke. It's not a big laugh. It's not sarcastic. It's the real.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
It's just how this ship looks.
Bob Odenkirk
It's just. It's an accident of engineering. It turns out banjos are actually better for space travel than they are for music.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Stomach.
Robert Smigel
I like this.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
That makes oddly a lot. Whatever.
Bob Odenkirk
Leave that aside because we can build that Mythos on our own. We'll have plenty of time. We'll do a separate writer's room just for that.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. The idea is just to get.
Bob Odenkirk
The basic point is this. The point is this. You've obviously got multiple skills, so you're the whole crew.
Bruce McCulloch
Great.
Bob Odenkirk
So we're gonna have to. We're gonna have to aiu or something. Do the blue screen with the tennis. The little. Yeah. Little ping pong balls on your head.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. Polar Express you. We're going to Polar Express you.
Cindy Crawford
What a freaking.
Bob Odenkirk
This going to be a show where you. It's called One Man Band. One man.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
One man banjo.
Bob Odenkirk
One man banjo.
Bruce McCulloch
It's 1932.
Robert Smigel
Oh, good. Go ahead.
Bruce McCulloch
It's the Depression.
Robert Smigel
Okay, go ahead.
Bruce McCulloch
One man is going to change everything and bring back a terrible town that has nothing going for it. This is a man who plays the upright kazoo. He travels from town to down with his kazoo on his back. He rides the rails. He meets hobos no one likes. They talk about stuff. They scrapes it.
Kal Penn
Right.
Bob Odenkirk
Everyone wants him to get away from them.
Bruce McCulloch
Yeah. Get away from the ham.
Bob Odenkirk
But then he finds one town.
Bruce McCulloch
New York City.
Robert Smigel
San Francisco.
Bruce McCulloch
San Francisco.
Robert Smigel
Right.
Bob Odenkirk
Where they like things a little unique, a little different, a little special.
Robert Smigel
Right. And so they will accept his kind.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, he knows he's going to fit in there when he arrives in the morning and they're eating dinner.
Bob Odenkirk
This is a TV show or a movie.
Robert Smigel
It's.
Bob Odenkirk
It's a TV show or a movie or a tick tock video.
Robert Smigel
It's an audiobook.
Bob Odenkirk
Okay.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Webcast.
Bob Odenkirk
Help me out, Help me out. What are we seeing here?
Bruce McCulloch
I think it's a two part miniseries.
Bob Odenkirk
I just want to see you do kind of miniseries you can do.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Just throw all the special skills at the wall.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah. I just want to see somebody who can do everything. And I think One man band is a term people forgotten. It's going to feel new again. And I think banjo are rather kazoos are going to feel fresh again too. When you come out with the kazoo, it's going to feel like. What was that? What is that thing? And it's going to be like a steampunk thing. You remember that? It's going to be like, oh, remember steampunk? That's going to also be nostalgia there. So could be good. How many? There were like 15 steampunk people in America. So we'll get all of them.
Robert Smigel
I like that.
Bruce McCulloch
I think it's Dr. Kazoo and he saves people's lives with the kazoo. There's a certain. That's what I was thinking. When he's going to put it in their mouths and it's like a new thing for their throats and their respiratory system. And it's so beautiful that we walk through and all these sick children and elderly people, they've got kazoos and they're in the hospital.
Robert Smigel
Damn it. Is anyone taking this down?
Bob Odenkirk
I like this.
Bruce McCulloch
And next to, to sometimes he goes to the nudist hospital because we need a little skin.
Robert Smigel
Of course. Yeah, of course. You know, I don't know, but I'm a little more bullish on, you know, going full kazoo than you guys. Like, I think, like, what if Brett is like, you know, transported? Like, every time he plays the kazoo, he's modern day Brett. Every time he plays the kazoo, he's transported back to 1989 when he was a kid.
Bob Odenkirk
And we use this footage.
Robert Smigel
We use this footage and he looks at himself and he. But he looks at the world too, and he realizes that he can undo all the tragedies that have happened since 1989.
Bob Odenkirk
With his kazoo, he can rewind time.
Robert Smigel
And here's the catch, though. The only way that he can remain in the past.
Bob Odenkirk
Right.
Robert Smigel
Is by playing the kazoo every 15 seconds.
Bruce McCulloch
And so if he falls asleep, he goes forward in time again.
Robert Smigel
Yes. He can't fall asleep. Or he can take the ultimate cat nap.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
14 second naps.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, but like, so you're trying to undo the Iraq war or something like that. And this is the challenge because he means well and he has all the knowledge of the future, but he has to play the kazoo every 15 seconds. So nobody wants to listen to the knowledge he has to impart. It's.
Bob Odenkirk
Does he gripping.
Robert Smigel
It's tragic. It's everything.
Bob Odenkirk
Does he meet. Does he meet his younger self?
Robert Smigel
He sees his younger self, but he can't communicate with his younger self unless they both play the kazoo and then
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
we can team up.
Bob Odenkirk
Do they do that?
Robert Smigel
I don't think anybody wants to see that kid anymore.
Bob Odenkirk
Do they? I got a question. Do they talk through the kazoo or do they just play it and talk?
Robert Smigel
No, he plays it and talks. It's like, I'm telling you, the Berlin Wall has to come down.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Like, you know, you know, and it just goes on. And this is going to go many seasons. He's going to try to hold halt 9, 11.
Bruce McCulloch
But what, what, what we don't have right now is a personal story. And I think he can fix his parents failed Marriage.
Robert Smigel
Oh, there you go.
Bruce McCulloch
By serenading them with the kazoo. And that can be loving. It can be erotic. Like we have all kinds of choice. I don't know if I presume we're pitching to streamers. They might like a little bit of that stuff going on.
Robert Smigel
Cliffhangers every episode. Cliffhangers? Yeah.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I mean, you said parents and you said erotic. I'm sold.
Robert Smigel
Anybody in the audience have any thoughts? Anybody? What?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Hello. Hello.
Bruce McCulloch
Hi. Hi. Hi. Dave Foley and Scott Thompson.
Robert Smigel
Oh, wow. I know you guys.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
And obviously for legal reasons I can't disclose which is which.
Robert Smigel
Understood. No problem.
Bruce McCulloch
Problems. And now my, my first thought when I. When I hear this is I'm thinking which of which of his two major skills kazooing or yodeling, best best prepares him for a really successful career in. In gay porn.
Robert Smigel
And that's big right now.
Bruce McCulloch
And I think both of both of them are very good.
Tay Zonday
And if.
Bob Odenkirk
And my other question, the answer is Kazooie. Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Is there any way we could bring the house lights up so we could see Dave a little better? Would that be okay?
Bruce McCulloch
And Scott. And of course, I don't know if you can skate at all, but gay hockey, yodeling, kazooing, I think could be a success.
Bob Odenkirk
Scott, I don't understand why there isn't a love interest that played the recorder.
Robert Smigel
I mean, that's what I'm waiting for.
Bob Odenkirk
You've got the kazoo.
Robert Smigel
Jesus, Scott, that's season three. Well, of course, but why not give it a jump?
Bob Odenkirk
Or can you introduce a woman who plays the recorder and then, you know, and then later on in season two, you bring her in?
Robert Smigel
Yeah, you're right. We're gonna need a will. They are won't any sooner than season three.
Bruce McCulloch
Can I just also say, and just for diversity, a one armed Nigeria who plays the kalimba.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. This help, we need that kind of representation. I've been to Nigeria and there's a
Bob Odenkirk
lot of one armed people there.
Robert Smigel
Okay.
Bob Odenkirk
So it won't be that hard to find. Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Okay.
Bruce McCulloch
And kalimas cost about five bucks.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I think I got a kalimba. We're good there.
Robert Smigel
Okay. We've got a lot of ideas on the table and I think we're Dave
Bruce McCulloch
and Scott, but we can't say who.
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Kal Penn
hey everyone, it's Kalpen, host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I'm sitting down with Wil Wheaton and who played Gordie Lachance in stand by me 40 years ago and now narrates Stephen King's the Body, the novella that inspired it all. We talk about what it's like to return to a story that shaped his life, channeling his memories of River Phoenix in the recording booth and why the friendships you have at 12 might be the most important ones you'll ever have.
Robert Smigel
I know Gordie Lachance.
Kal Penn
I am Gordie Lachance.
Bruce McCulloch
Like, I mean, even when I was
Robert Smigel
a little kid, I was Gordy Lachance
Kal Penn
when I didn't know it. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Robert Smigel
We have a lot of ideas on the table and but I'm still a little worried. No offense. I'm not totally sure that you can carry this on your own. I think it might help to have somebody who's in a similar situation to you.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah, that sounds good.
Robert Smigel
So can I just play a clip of the person I'm thinking about if we got it?
Tay Zonday
Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain. A baby born will die before the same. Chocolate rain. The school books say it can't be. We hear again. Chocolate rain. The prisons make you wonder where it went. Chocolate rain. Forecast to be falling yesterday. Chocolate rain.
Robert Smigel
Okay, I think, you know, it goes on for another 30 minutes as you all. You remember, you guys remember. Oh, let's bring him out. Tay's on day right. Now. We have a show. I, I love that song. I mean, I think it's, you know, at the time, I think it got a lot of attention because you turned your face away from the mic and, and all the other things. But I loved it. I would have played the whole thing, but, you know, the lyrics went on. You know, you remember some of the other lyrics, some of your favorite lyrics, like when I eat pizza, my shirts never stain. That was one of my favorites. Or my favorite Kids in the hall sketch is Citizen Kane.
Bruce McCulloch
When I am Karen, I complain.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, that's a good one.
Kal Penn
1.
Robert Smigel
I hate when Trump calls him Barack Hussein. I think Tom Papa should win the Mark Twain. Tom Papa,
Bob Odenkirk
isn't it time we put him down? Hasn't he had enough?
Robert Smigel
Who?
Bob Odenkirk
Tom Papa.
Robert Smigel
I love Tom Papa.
Bob Odenkirk
I know, me too.
Robert Smigel
He's a sweet. Tay was. Taylor was the one who wrote it 15 years ago.
Bruce McCulloch
A lovely way to travel is by train.
Robert Smigel
Onion bagels are better than plain. I've Tried to help you in the past, by the way. Tay and I are old friends. We really are. He's done my autism benefit night of Too Many Stars.
Bruce McCulloch
He.
Robert Smigel
He actually was a series regular on a show on one of my many flop shows. This was on Adult Swim. It was called the Jack and Triumph show. And Jack McBrayer and I played like a Timmy and Lassie who were has beens now. And Triumph's trying to get him back at the show business. And Triumph had poker buddies, and one of his poker buddies was. He had Joey Fatone, Leonard Maltin and Tay Zonday, which is. And Triumph at the poker table. It was brilliant show. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. And the only reason I thought of it, I came up with. I did all that work just so that Tay would get back in show business and didn't work. And then Tate. And then. Okay, that was a lie. And then. And then, best of all, I did a Hulu special, a series of Hulu Specials covering the 2016 political campaign with Triumph. And we did a lot of remotes in New Hampshire, and I. But we also had roundtables in between. Triumph would sit at the head and moderate. Like, there'd be Alan Dershowitz and Carl Bernstein and Tay Zonde. And, you know, we took it very seriously. And we, you know, we got a lot done. We got a lot done. So, Tay, you've made a living since then being a voice acting coach, is that correct? Correct.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Some obvious. What do you mean?
Tay Zonday
Some animation and games. Nickelodeon, MLB Network, A lot of different clients.
Robert Smigel
Tell me what you would like to. What you see yourself doing. You like to do voices or you want to exploit your voice, your amazing voice.
Tay Zonday
I like doing voice work.
Robert Smigel
Yeah.
Tay Zonday
It's funny because a lot I feel like I peak with actual accidental comedy. I'm never deliberately funny. I'm just kind of myself. And the career seems to come from me being myself and putting that out there. So it's kind of hard for me to, like, say, I'm going to do this, and then that's going to be. But I don't know, I've always thought I would love to host, like, a game show.
Cindy Crawford
Ooh.
Tay Zonday
Like be in a format where I can have a regular. I don't know, like an Alex Trebek or Pat Sajak type of.
Robert Smigel
Well, well, he could be the host and it could be like name that tune. But with Kazoo, you know, you. You would play just the kazoo, and. And people would have to name that tune. I don't know if that's enough. I think we need some of the drama.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah. I've got the name for the show. Worst voice in the room. And now listen, you're the host, all right? And we get. Get people from different cities and they don't know that they're competing. This is kind of a prank show that's a little boring. And then they all get up and sing. Right?
Tay Zonday
Okay.
Bob Odenkirk
And then the audience calls in, which is the voice that they is the worst. And then here's the prank. You give the award to the best voice, and then they,
Robert Smigel
holy shit.
Bob Odenkirk
Give up online.
Tay Zonday
I mean, I like that idea.
Bruce McCulloch
I have a little.
Bob Odenkirk
The bottom line is people like talent shows right now.
Robert Smigel
They do like talent shows. Why don't we just say he hosts a talent show and we'll sell it.
Bob Odenkirk
Talent show that you host. Who's with you? Who are the other judges?
Tay Zonday
No, I mean, I think. I think it's funny because I am not comfortable or believable as an asshole. Yeah, like, I'm not comfortable as, like howl so like the. The comedy. It's like watching my discomfort choosing the
Bob Odenkirk
worst voice in the room and trying
Tay Zonday
to be as polite and diplomatic and non confrontational.
Bob Odenkirk
Well, think about it this way. The worst voice is going to be the winner. So you have good news to give
Robert Smigel
them to give the person who sucks.
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
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Bruce McCulloch
I. I have a little bit of a wrinkle.
Robert Smigel
Go ahead.
Bruce McCulloch
I. I think it's set in a confessional.
Robert Smigel
Is this a game show?
Starbucks Ad Voice
No.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yes.
Bruce McCulloch
No, it's a sort of a show. It's a Catholic.
Robert Smigel
Doesn't have to be a game show.
Bruce McCulloch
It's a Catholic church. People come in, they actually give their confessions to a priest, which we can stunt cast the out of that. And you know that. And so they'll tell all the terrible things they've done, the things that they're burdening them. And. And then. And then every so often, we stop and we go, you have a terrible voice.
Robert Smigel
That's the whole show. Can that sustain over eight years? That's what the network wants.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I think I would want to hear Tay say that.
Robert Smigel
Can I go a completely different way, please do? You know people love alternate universe shows, right? Those are very big right now. What if there's an alternate universe show where you guys are incredibly popular, like you're superstars? It's like A hard day's night kind of thing where girls are chasing them out of limousines and we, you know, I mean, I think we need four. So we'd have to add like, you know, like Charlie bit my finger kid and the.
Bob Odenkirk
Apparently.
Robert Smigel
Who's that? The new Manuma Kid. It's always you guys and the new Manuma Kid. And Charlie bit my finger and you're like the Monkeys. You're like the Monkeys and we shoot it that way and it's just really. And you're just dealing with fame and it's an alternate universe show.
Bruce McCulloch
I like that the best.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Are we a band like the Monkeys
Bob Odenkirk
or we're just you?
Robert Smigel
Well, you guys are both musical, right?
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Did two out of the four people that you mentioned. Yeah, yeah.
Robert Smigel
Have you seen the new Manuma Kid? You're right, he's incredible.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
You're not wrong.
Tay Zonday
I like the idea of following up on like the cinematic Universe of early YouTube or early viral celebrity.
Bob Odenkirk
Oh, there you go. Look at that.
Tay Zonday
Kind of like a Cobra Kai, but for like, what if early YouTube, early celebrity.
Robert Smigel
Oh, the early YouTube universe.
Tay Zonday
Yeah, like, but just like, that's amazing. Yeah, but it's like a.
Robert Smigel
So like you're all superheroes.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Now this is like a TV funhouse cartoon. Now that's the best. This is either an eight year show or one TV funhouse cartoon.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, and they could travel up the land doing meet and greets and solving crimes, so.
Robert Smigel
Fuck yeah. No, like, because they're really good at meet and greets. Yeah.
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Maybe they solve crimes at autograph shows.
Bruce McCulloch
What? Another murder?
Robert Smigel
Yes, murder.
Bruce McCulloch
William Shatner's gone down.
Robert Smigel
This time the guy who played Peewee's
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
enemy
Robert Smigel
looks very suspicious.
Bob Odenkirk
You could also. I don't know why I picture this, but you guys helped me out. They're constantly needed at malls, either for signings or. Because that's where a murder took place. But they're always there because the malls have been kind of forgotten too. Right? So this. It's a whole yester world. It's called Yester. Where we live in yester world.
Robert Smigel
Yesterworld. The yester world universe.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah. And we're needed at the mall. We have to get over. But they. The goal is to. To get to the Mall of America when they never get there. They never get.
Bruce McCulloch
And they could live in one of those weird abandoned malls that people go in and skateboard in and. Yeah, there's water and stuff.
Robert Smigel
This is amazing because we can keep expanding the universe, bring in other YouTube stars over the. Can we eventually, like, allow like Mark Ruffalo to play a YouTube star from the past? Because, you know, it's got to have Mark Ruffalo Involved.
Tay Zonday
Everybody guessed with, like, their viral ability. Like, Rick Astley comes and.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Tay Zonday
Oh, God.
Robert Smigel
Rick Astley. Or maybe every episode turns out to be what's. What was it called?
Bruce McCulloch
Rick Roll.
Robert Smigel
Rick Rolled.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
We Rickroll every episode.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
There's. There's a clue that we think we found and it ends up just being a Rick Roll.
Tay Zonday
There you go. Yes. Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Holy. I think we're ready to pitch. I mean, okay, this is going to be very exciting. I'm not going to tell you exactly what we're going to be doing. It's going to be cool. But first, Bob, Bruce.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
It's a podcast, as you know. Yeah. So we have to do a quick commercial. So, guys. Bruce. Bob.
Bob Odenkirk
Oh, yeah, you know, no, but I'm happy to do this one because I actually use the product.
Robert Smigel
You use the product. I know it's winter time as we're taping this, and I don't know about you guys, but shoveling snow. Yeah. Especially at our age. No.
Bruce McCulloch
Yeah, it's the worst. I mean, shoveling snow, my back gets tight.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
I get heart attacks.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, that's bad every time.
Robert Smigel
No, it's, it's, it's a dangerous thing and it's drudgery for younger people, too.
Bruce McCulloch
But try hiring a kid nowadays to shovel snow. It won't happen.
Robert Smigel
Oh, God. Kids don't want to work anymore.
Bruce McCulloch
No, no, no.
Robert Smigel
So listen to me. We've all used this product. It's a brand new product that is one of our new sponsors.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, I'm only endorsing it because I actually use.
Bob Odenkirk
Use it.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. You don't even have to endorse it. Have you used it? It's the snow torch. It's called the snow Torch. And you know, I bought it and I've never. I threw out my shovel.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah, I tossed it. I've never.
Robert Smigel
I threw it at a neighbor.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
I've never not used it.
Robert Smigel
You've never not used it?
Bob Odenkirk
Yes. I've never not used the snow torch. Yes. I've always, Always the time used it and. And it's worked great every single time.
Bruce McCulloch
Wow.
Bob Odenkirk
From the beginning to the end. It. I have the lighter model and I don't know what you've got. I think you got the old one.
Bruce McCulloch
I got the T24 that I take to, you know, to bars, and it's a great way to pick up a woman.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
You show them your torch. You say, hey, can I know smoking isn't allowed in bars anymore, but can I light your.
Bob Odenkirk
When. When that jelly lights on fire? Shoots out and lights on fire.
Robert Smigel
Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
My God, there's nothing like it. And it sticks to the walls, you know, it's great.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Did you guys get the all season model?
Bob Odenkirk
I. Yes.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I haven't.
Robert Smigel
With all due respect, you're not famous enough to do a commercial yet.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I'm sorry, I. I rescind my comment, sir.
Robert Smigel
Sorry. Well, it's fine. No, we're trying to help you. And, and the number one thing, the kids commercial something it. Robert, kids love it because. Listen, listen, it's so convenient. You don't even have to purchase new gasoline to use it. You can just. There's a detachable, there's an attachment that you can put right into your siphon hose. A siphon hose? You put it right in your gas tank.
Bob Odenkirk
That's right.
Robert Smigel
You turn on the, the thing and you know, snow melts away like this.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
And finally a safe way find finally to get rid of snow.
Bob Odenkirk
That's right.
Robert Smigel
And kids love it.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, may I tell a personal story from my life?
Robert Smigel
Yeah, please.
Bruce McCulloch
I got my girlfriend a BMW with a bow on it for Christmas and she says, where's my snow torch? It's really bad.
Robert Smigel
They want you to read some copy, but I mean, I don't even know why we need this because. Yeah, we all love the product, but the snow torch creates such a dense and unwieldy fire spot. The entire family will love crowding around the conflagration for warmth and a spectacular light show. Also recommended for. Oh, oh, this is endorsed by ice. Yeah, that's the snow torch. Please use the code. Bruce McCullough loves the Snow Torch. 0, 268-953-7777, 7, 6. A G L4. Again, Bruce McCullough loves the Snow Torch. 3, 8, 6. That's. Bruce McCullough loves. No, you know what? I'll just. I'll just have them rewind and play it again. Okay, thank you. Snow torch.
Bob Odenkirk
Snow torch.
Robert Smigel
Snow torch.
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Kal Penn
I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's Audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.
Ray Porter
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo yo yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.
Kal Penn
Listen to Irsay the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Book Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Cindy Crawford
Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of meaningful beauty. When Dr. Sabah and I decided to do a skincare line together, he said to me, we are going to give women meaningful beauty. And I said, that's exactly right. We want to give women meaningful beauty. Which means each and every product is meaningful. It has a reason to exist. It's efficacious. You're going to get results. And then you just go out and live your life. Meaningful beauty. Confidence is beautiful. Learn more@meaningful beauty.com.
Robert Smigel
Okay, guys.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
This is big. We are about. This is real. We are about to talk to four actual producers, Hollywood producers and studio executives, and we are going to. What? Okay, yeah, they're gonna be up there, but don't put them up yet. I don't want them to know. I want to just prepare just a little bit more. Yeah. You know, these. You want to war up to them. They want to feel like they want to be in the tazonde kazoo kid business. So. So, you know, we just have to make a little small talk at the top, like, so. So, Brett, like, you know, maybe just anybody got kids, you just write that down.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Any.
Robert Smigel
Anybody got first, give them a notepad. You guys, this is important. Give Tay one, too. So, Brett, you're like, anybody got kids? And Tay, I want you to say, how's the weather down there? How's the weather in la? Okay. And then they'll just do the rest. They'll do the rest.
Bruce McCulloch
May I offer a joke?
Robert Smigel
A joke?
Bruce McCulloch
Yeah. That I always break the ice with whenever I do a pitch. And I've done over 10,000 of them. Yeah. They always. One of them will always say, can I get you anything? You go, yeah, a lobster.
Robert Smigel
Okay, now. Now, before I bring them out, I want to tell you who these people are. Okay? We're going to have Matt Millen. He is president, film and TV for Sullivan Street Productions. Okay, I want you guys. By the way, hold your applause until I mention all four of them. So for Matt Millen, when I say that Sullivan street production, Tay, that's your cue to say your new project. Honeymoon with Harry sounds terrific. Okay, can you write that down? And then we have Mike Falbo who runs Pacific Electric. This is Ed Helms company. And for you, Brett, I want you to say, I would love to be in the Ed Helms business.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I would love to be in the.
Robert Smigel
The Ed Helms business.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
The Ed Helms business.
Robert Smigel
It's an easy thing to say because we all want to be in the Ed Helmsworth. And then, okay, then we have Betsy Koch, who produces films and shows for Hyper Object industries. That's Adam McKay's company. We love Adam McKay. They do great documentaries. So, Tay, write this down. When I introduce Betsy, I love your documentaries, particularly Money Electric, the bitcoin mystery. And the last one is actually an network executive, Brian Tannenbaum, head of originals at Roku Media. Roku. We're going to talk to someone from the Roku network. I think we have a shot. So I want you to say, brian, I'm a big fan of Andromeda and reruns of Benson. Okay.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
I'm a big fan of Andromeda and reruns of Benson.
Tay Zonday
Okay, we're ready.
Robert Smigel
Here we go. Here we go. This is big, man. This is big. Okay, can we see our four? There they are. Give them a hand, please. I swear to God, these are genuine Hollywood producers. Studio and network executives. Brilliant people who've created brilliant things, and they're going to create one more. One lucky executive.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, and I've pitched all these people before, and what I love about these particular four, the room is always very warm. They're just. They care about their work. They're very specific with their projects, and. And they're really into details. They're a really amazing group.
Robert Smigel
Okay. Yeah. Now, let's just talk to these guys for a second. Anybody? Pretty cool. That's your Cube, I think.
Tay Zonday
How's the weather in la?
Robert Smigel
Oh, yes. Tay's on day, wants to know how the weather is.
Bob Odenkirk
I just want to find out if you guys validate us. Take care of that right away.
Robert Smigel
And.
Bob Odenkirk
No, we know. Sorry. I parked on the street anyways. I was gonna put my car in street parking.
Robert Smigel
I sent you guys the materials. I hope you. You. You know, you're up to speed. You're up to speed.
Tay Zonday
We have coverage.
Robert Smigel
You have coverage. Great. You have. So. So we have Matt Millen from Sullivan Street. Do you want to say anything to him? Okay.
Tay Zonday
Oh, how's the weather?
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
No,
Robert Smigel
honey. Honeymoon with Harry.
Tay Zonday
Oh, your new project. Honeymoon with Harry. Sounds fantastic.
Robert Smigel
There you go.
Tay Zonday
Thank you. Thank you.
Robert Smigel
See how personable Tay is?
Tay Zonday
Very.
Robert Smigel
I don't know about you, if I had heard something like that, I'd want to be in the Tay's on day business.
Tay Zonday
I'm very excited to get into a deal right now.
Robert Smigel
Thank you. Okay, and then we have Betsy Koch. Betsy Koch produces films and shows for Hyper Object Industries.
Tay Zonday
Yeah. You know, Betsy, I love your documentaries, particularly Money Electric, the bitcoin mystery.
Bob Odenkirk
Oh, wow.
Robert Smigel
See that? See, Tay's a big fan. I think you guys already have, like, a connection.
Knix Ad Voice
I do, too.
Robert Smigel
This feels right. Okay, good, good, good.
Bob Odenkirk
It seems like you like him. It's hard to tell why, but you just do. You just do. You seem like a good guy, reasonable guy.
Robert Smigel
Okay, we have Mike Falbo. Mike Falbo, who runs Ed Helm's company, Pacific Electric.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Ooh, Mike, I would love to be in the Ed Helms business.
Robert Smigel
Oh, I like hearing that. Thank you for that. He just said that on his own. Isn't that that great? Unprompted. And then finally, we actually have a network executive here, Brian Tanenbaum, who is head of originals for Roku.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Brian, I am a big fan of Andromeda. Oh, and reruns of Benson.
Tay Zonday
I gotta tell you, Brad, we've actually been tracking you for a bit, because while we don't do a lot of originals, we did do the Weird Al movies, and so we did win an Emmy with an accordion. And so you've been on our list of someone to work with. We're hoping that Kazoo could perhaps be the follow up.
Robert Smigel
That's amazing.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Should I just. Should I just leave right now? I feel like this. I'm just gonna go.
Bob Odenkirk
I gotta say. Oh, man. Get out of here.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
This has been great.
Robert Smigel
We're gonna. We have. We have a motherload of ideas for you. We're gonna try to narrow it down somehow to the. To the ones we. We think are. Are most suitable for your vision.
Bob Odenkirk
So the animated show that you had, I kind of like.
Robert Smigel
This is something I forgot about.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
So a Taz on Day, actually, as you can see, has one of the most amazing voices in the country. I mean, you know, Tayzan Day is a national treasure.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Chocolate RA train. How many hits on YouTube?
Tay Zonday
140. Something million.
Robert Smigel
Millions and millions. To hear that voice and to see the guy turn away from the microphone, but mostly to hear that voice. So backstage, actually, we came up with a new one. We thought he'd love to do voiceover stuff, and we thought a cartoon where he plays Paul Robeson. You know, the Adventures of Paul Robison in outer space.
Tay Zonday
There you go.
Robert Smigel
Paul has to. What does he have to sing?
Tay Zonday
Old man river in space. You're like Old man river in.
Bob Odenkirk
Okay, I'm getting chills. I'm getting chills.
Tay Zonday
There we go.
Bob Odenkirk
Wait.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, here's what I love about that is.
Bob Odenkirk
Are you getting chills, or is it where I'm sitting?
Bruce McCulloch
Yes.
Robert Smigel
I actually have a cold, so I should say I have chills.
Bruce McCulloch
You guys are not into money, and this is what we love about you four production companies. But ironically, this is a license to print money,
Bob Odenkirk
and Old man river is public domain, so.
Robert Smigel
Exactly.
Bob Odenkirk
Come on. Five times in every episode.
Robert Smigel
Everybody's been waiting to do something with Old Man River. I think we've got the best idea.
Bob Odenkirk
You know, can we talk about what happens when he's. When he sings the song, the alien who's attacking him Falls asleep.
Tay Zonday
There you go.
Bob Odenkirk
So this is how he overcomes his singing ability.
Robert Smigel
Is at once stirring and boring.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
And why this is so accessible is everyone has seen a river.
Tay Zonday
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
And most people. People know an old man, and everybody's
Tay Zonday
saying Porgy and Bess. Right. Or whatever. Is that what it's from?
Robert Smigel
Don't bring up Porgy and Bess.
Bob Odenkirk
We can't get the rights to it. We got Porgy on board.
Robert Smigel
First of all.
Bob Odenkirk
Won't do it.
Robert Smigel
First of all.
Tay Zonday
Tay.
Robert Smigel
Tay, I really apologize. Old man river is not from Porgy and Bess. It's from Showboat. Just because it's a black musical. I'm sorry. That stays in this room. Okay. We don't want Tate canceled.
Tay Zonday
They were in the same songbook.
Robert Smigel
Okay? Tay's racism is a thing of the past.
Bruce McCulloch
I think it's from Raisin in the Sun.
Bob Odenkirk
That's a show. That's a show right there. Everybody shut up, you guys. Have you had anyone come in to pitch you? And then they suddenly hit upon a show that's completely different than the one that they came in to pitch Tays on days. Racism is a Thing of the past. Now, that's a title,
Robert Smigel
by the way. It's casual racism, which is the best kind.
Bob Odenkirk
And I don't know what it is, and I don't know who's in it. I don't know what you're watching, but it's an hour long. That's all I know. And it's on twice a week. This is gonna be hell. We're gonna need a lot of money.
Robert Smigel
Okay. You know, let's take a quick.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Whatever.
Bob Odenkirk
Pluribus costs double that, Double that.
Robert Smigel
It's good. I want to take a quick moment,
Bob Odenkirk
and I want this thing on in three weeks.
Robert Smigel
I wanted.
Bob Odenkirk
We got a whole.
Robert Smigel
This is really exciting. This is really exciting. And Bob is bursting with energy.
Bob Odenkirk
We come up with something in the room. It's the best feeling in the world. And all four of you were part of this idea. All four of you were. Have to have a bidd.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. It's going to be a bidding war.
Bob Odenkirk
I'm sorry.
Robert Smigel
Listen, listen. This is very exciting, but I want you guys. These guys need.
Bob Odenkirk
They have a break to think about.
Robert Smigel
They obviously have a lot of questions because, you know, they're excited about the idea. You want to hear any specifics about how it's produced? Because we don't have any.
Bob Odenkirk
Well, tell us a little bit about how he got there. How he became racist.
Robert Smigel
Good question. That's an excellent, excellent question.
Bob Odenkirk
This is a blue screen show, okay? We don't need actors, we don't need voices, we don't need scripts.
Robert Smigel
Okay?
Bob Odenkirk
You guys fill in the blanks. But in fact,
Robert Smigel
okay, I'm not gonna go home.
Bob Odenkirk
I want you to fall asleep tonight. I don't want you to have any dreams. I just want you to have a smile on your face knowing that in the morning you're going to tell your boss, I get a show you and you're going to swear in his face it's true. You say, shut your mouth. I haven't finished. All we need is a blue screen a tae on day, and then you're going to walk out the door, slam
Robert Smigel
the door, and you're going to be fired.
Bob Odenkirk
It's really about confidence.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.
Bob Odenkirk
All right, let's move on. Let's give him another idea because we have some. So many ideas.
Robert Smigel
You know, we have game show ideas. Did anybody in the game show does that, like on brand for any of you? How about Roku? I mean, come on. It's. We're not oppos. Sorry.
Tay Zonday
Game shows are in the mandate, so
Robert Smigel
we're open to it. Okay, well. Okay, well, we got it. Name that tune with kazoos.
Tay Zonday
Done. Sold.
Bob Odenkirk
Not easy to do.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Name that Kazoon.
Bruce McCulloch
We got another game show idea.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, go ahead.
Bruce McCulloch
It's called Second best.
Robert Smigel
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
It's like a talent show. And somebody is always clearly the best, like coldplays on or U2 or something like that. And then you have another band who's like, you know, the Strutters, a KISS cover band. And they're. They're clearly the second best, and so they win.
Bob Odenkirk
But part of this, part of this, I've got to say, part of this is kind of like. Like you work with them for a week.
Robert Smigel
Oh, yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
Trying to make them second best. Right. So in other words, they come on. They come on. Tay's one of the judges. He's one of the coach judges. Okay. We have a couple other people that are idiots, you know, people who cost nothing. I don't care. I don't give a shit. You get anybody. It doesn't have to be a name. They don't have to have a name. A legal name. They don't have to have a legal name.
Bruce McCulloch
They could be. No, number 471 is their name.
Robert Smigel
I don't care.
Tay Zonday
This is perfect.
Robert Smigel
You save money on names. We save money on names.
Tay Zonday
We work with them because we're Roku and not Netflix.
Bruce McCulloch
So this is.
Tay Zonday
This is just what we want to be doing.
Bob Odenkirk
Thank you. This is what I want to hear. I should shut up because we sold the show. But I'm going to. Go on.
Robert Smigel
Go on. And you have. You have 30 minutes. Go ahead.
Bob Odenkirk
Look, the bottom line is, as hard as it is, is to get somebody to win a contest. Getting someone to come in second.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, and it's relatable to. To everyone. Because don't we all feel like we're second best?
Starbucks Ad Voice
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
And shouldn't we celebrate the second best?
Bob Odenkirk
Kids in the hall, Mr. Show. See, this is what. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. He said.
Bruce McCulloch
So.
Robert Smigel
That's one. That's. That's. Okay. So, I don't know. You guys are gonna have trouble picking which one you like best. Well, again, nobody can pick more than one. Yeah, that's our little. We've set it up because, you know, we want to spread the wealth. Commit to one, and then everybody else gets first crack at the others.
Tay Zonday
So Mike has the racist one.
Robert Smigel
What?
Tay Zonday
Mike has the racist one.
Robert Smigel
Mike has.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, he already has a few of those. Shows. Shows.
Tay Zonday
Okay.
Robert Smigel
Okay.
Cindy Crawford
Kidding.
Robert Smigel
Okay, we can move on. We can move on. We got. We got some great stuff. More dramatic ones.
Ray Porter
Right.
Bruce McCulloch
Well. And here, by the way, I just want to say why we've picked these four production companies. They're all disruptors. They're all breaking the mold. It's amazing.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, you're going to break the mole.
Bob Odenkirk
Let's give them a big one.
Robert Smigel
Okay. Okay. A big one. One. Okay, kazoo guy. The year is. What's this year? 20, 26. Okay? Or whenever this show gets.
Bruce McCulloch
Or whenever you. You get your funding, it could be 27.
Robert Smigel
The year is when you find it. Whatever you decide. Okay? So Brett. Brett is present day kazoo guy, but he sees his childhood self. Oh, no. This is the wrong idea.
Bob Odenkirk
Look, can I just say one thing about this idea? The next idea we're gonna. Now listen, everybody just calm down because this is the idea. We're gonna make this show with European money, okay? So right away. You know what? Fuck that. We're gonna make it with Monopoly money. We're gonna go to the Monopoly company and whatever the budget is, we're gonna get. Get that much of that money.
Robert Smigel
The game show was going to be Monopoly money.
Bob Odenkirk
That's how we're going to pay for it. Yes.
Robert Smigel
The wild success of.
Bob Odenkirk
What's the big idea?
Robert Smigel
Okay? The big idea. So kazoo kid. The year is whatever year we do this. And the kazoo kid. Every time modern day Brett plays the Kazoo. He's Transported back to 1989 to his. When he was the kazoo kid.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
He has it. He knows the future.
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
So the whole show is Brett attempting to prevent the worst tragedies of the recent past.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Okay.
Bob Odenkirk
Have you. Can I just mention Mark Twain, Connecticut Yankee, and then I'll shut up.
Robert Smigel
I'd rather you didn't.
Bob Odenkirk
All right, I won't mention.
Robert Smigel
Rather you didn't mention it. Just forget that. Okay, let's go over what we want to forget. We want to forget Mark Twain, and we want to forget Connecticut Yankee. Connecticut Yankee. And we want to forget that Tay is a racist. Okay.
Bruce McCulloch
A casual racist. We call it warehouse racing.
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
All right, look.
Robert Smigel
Okay, so listen.
Bob Odenkirk
This is a real idea. This is a real idea.
Robert Smigel
No, this is already exciting. He's going to go back and undo the future, or that's his goal. But here's the catch.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
He can only stay in back in time if he plays the kazoo every 15 seconds. Okay, now, wait a minute. We're not married to 15 seconds. It could be 45 seconds.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah, we also. Can I just talk about.
Robert Smigel
We want you guys to be involved in this.
Bob Odenkirk
Rules of this universe. He can bank kazoo time. So if he plays for two hours and. And I don't care.
Robert Smigel
We're giving away plot twists.
Bob Odenkirk
We've been arguing about this for hours.
Robert Smigel
I know, but this is not the pile. This is not the pilot. This is the breakthrough. At the end of season one, he
Bob Odenkirk
discovers that he can bank kazoo time.
Robert Smigel
But here's the end of season one.
Bob Odenkirk
But here's the only thing I'm gonna ask. I think it's important. I'm sorry, Bruce. I'm gonna say it. I know you don't want me to say it.
Bruce McCulloch
He don't.
Bob Odenkirk
When he plays kazoo, it has to be on screen. There's no jumping through time here. When he does the. It's called kazoo fuel. That's the word we have for kazoo.
Robert Smigel
You could destroy kazoo. Yeah, it's kind of a Green Lantern. Green Lantern.
Bob Odenkirk
It's just the only rule I have is we.
Robert Smigel
What does Green Lantern mean? Somebody, what does Green Lantern mean? It's kind of of Green Lantern meets. Quick, we're losing them.
Bob Odenkirk
Somebody.
Bruce McCulloch
A family matters. And here is.
Robert Smigel
Here is Green Lantern meets Family Matters.
Bruce McCulloch
Why we like this. And I know you guys always respond to these kind of shows. It's got a warm heart. One of the things he does back in time.
Robert Smigel
An actual beating warm heart.
Bruce McCulloch
He wants to. He sees that his parents got divorced, and he wants to try to save their marriage.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. But again, anytime he tries to give anyone advice.
Bob Odenkirk
Oh, we don't have to have that. I'm sorry. They're not responding to.
Robert Smigel
I can tell any.
Bob Odenkirk
He doesn't have parents may. No, just let me.
Robert Smigel
Let me finish. Every. Anytime he has to give advice, y. Whether it's for his parents or, you know, to stop 911, he. He has. Has to play the kazoo every, you know, 15 seconds. This is the first season before the banking in time thing. And so he's compromised. He has all this wisdom, but no one wants to be near him because he has to keep playing the fucking kazoo. And everybody hates the kazoo. That's a given.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Can I take a stab at it? Something like.
Robert Smigel
Sir, I'm sorry I'm late. Yeah, I just had to tell you. That's just a little taste. I came here to tell you this
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
is a plane flying to 1 second. Towards the Pentagon right now, and I think we only have. Hang on one second.
Robert Smigel
Okay, you do it. That's good. That was the 10 second.
Bob Odenkirk
Now you're asking.
Robert Smigel
That was the 10 second version. If you like the 10 second version, we'll go 10. You know, this is.
Bob Odenkirk
We want to work with you, Robert. They're asking themselves, where's Tay's on day in this universe?
Robert Smigel
Oh, shit. Okay, so every time he's trying to undo racism as well.
Bob Odenkirk
Done.
Robert Smigel
It writes itself.
Tay Zonday
I'd buy that for a dollar.
Bob Odenkirk
We actually do love that idea, and we hope that you do too. I see a lot of smiles in the room.
Robert Smigel
Wait, we have one more incredible idea, right?
Bob Odenkirk
No.
Robert Smigel
The universe. Yes.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Oh.
Tay Zonday
Oh, yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
This is a good one.
Robert Smigel
Tay came up with this on his own, but we don't have to cut him in, money wise. Still, there's the three of us, and Tay will take, you know, a co producer credit. Anyway, we can talk about that later. So who wants to pitch this one? It's called the YouTube. The YouTube universe.
Bob Odenkirk
YouTuberVerse.
Robert Smigel
The YouTuberVerse.
Bob Odenkirk
And what it is, is the stars of early YouTube.
Robert Smigel
Yes.
Bob Odenkirk
Have come back to life. Most of them are still alive, but people don't know this.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Not dead yet.
Bob Odenkirk
The story is the legend. Slow down. They've come back to life and they've teamed up.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. They have superpowers.
Bob Odenkirk
They have superpowers, obviously. I'm sorry to insult your intelligence. God damn it, Robert, come on. Trying to sell this show.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Bob Odenkirk
I told you, don't insult people when you're doing A pitch.
Robert Smigel
I know, I know.
Bob Odenkirk
These are four great people. And I. I'm telling. So it's the few. It's. It's the. They are the YouTube stars. It includes Tay Zonde. Get out of town. The absolutely kid.
Robert Smigel
Kid.
Bob Odenkirk
Absolutely. That.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
No, apparently.
Robert Smigel
Apparently.
Bob Odenkirk
The apparently kid. The apparently kid.
Robert Smigel
Tazonde number three.
Bob Odenkirk
We already said.
Robert Smigel
And this is your choice because we want you to be involved. It can be either the Charlie bit my finger kid.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
Grown up. Or the Numa Numa fat kid who's like Maya.
Bob Odenkirk
Maya. Your choice. And we like them.
Robert Smigel
Whoever you think will look better in the outfit.
Bruce McCulloch
But. But in our world, they're like rock stars. They're like the Beatles.
Robert Smigel
Oh, that's a different show.
Bruce McCulloch
Oh, is it a different show?
Bob Odenkirk
We can tie that in. We can tie that in.
Robert Smigel
They're superstars.
Bob Odenkirk
Tie it together.
Bruce McCulloch
And they. But they travel around. Everybody greets and solving crimes.
Robert Smigel
Solving crimes, you know, and then there's going to be internal turmoil. But the beauty is that every season we can add new marvel or. Excuse me, YouTuber verse, YouTuberverse people. And eventually, when we run out of real YouTuber versers, Mark Ruffalo can play somebody. I know he's. That's what he's up for.
Bob Odenkirk
Can I give you a little bit more of the legend of this show, the Mythos?
Robert Smigel
You guys have questions. You guys must.
Bob Odenkirk
I appreciate your patience and you guys have been great. And I see you've loved all these things. Ideas equally, and that's really wonderful. And you've been such participants. I think most of these ideas were your ideas, actually. I don't think I've said. I haven't said a word since I got in here.
Robert Smigel
I had my doubts. I had my doubts about.
Bob Odenkirk
Talk about making it easy, the YouTuber verse.
Robert Smigel
But you guys convinced me.
Bruce McCulloch
Yeah.
Knix Ad Voice
And.
Bruce McCulloch
Well, one of the things that we love is there's some writers who are just. They. I gotta say it. They got sticks up their bums. And what we love is to get notes from the networks.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah.
Bruce McCulloch
So we just.
Robert Smigel
The three of us are notorious for loving network notes.
Bob Odenkirk
This is a story. And more than that, this is a real estate idea. We want to get you guys out of the entertainment business, all four of you. You're worried about how much you're going to spend on set. Stop worrying right now. Right now.
Bruce McCulloch
We know production.
Bob Odenkirk
I know I can see one of you guys making notes on a piece of paper. Put your pen down.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Down.
Bob Odenkirk
We're going to use the. The. The you youtubers stars that we just Described are going to come back. They're already still alive. That's part of the mythos at the top. And I've used that word three times now. Mythos. And I want you to start using it in your daily life.
Robert Smigel
Yeah.
Bob Odenkirk
Now, listen, listen. You don't have to build sets, because this group of people, this group of superstars of yesteryear, they get their energy and they meet in empty malls, and this America is covered in empty malls, and they go in there, and somehow it brings them back to life, and they. Yeah.
Tay Zonday
Did you say you were shooting in America?
Bob Odenkirk
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because these places are free, and we're gonna get tax breaks like you can't believe. And their goal is they want to get to the Mall of America. That's where the. The whole thing will wrap up, and they'll take on the enemy. And I don't know who that is.
Robert Smigel
Right.
Bob Odenkirk
Doesn't matter who gives a. It's going to be like a dream. We'll find out who.
Robert Smigel
They can also solve crimes in their natural habitat, which is autograph shows.
Tay Zonday
So there are malls in Canada that look like America.
Bob Odenkirk
That's right. We'll go. That's right. We're going to shoot in empty malls in Canada that look like America and save us.
Robert Smigel
Vancouver.
Bruce McCulloch
Listen, I know Saskatchewan. They love me there. Again, the tax breaks, the wheat.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah, it's.
Tay Zonday
Could you guys.
Robert Smigel
Could you guys talk about the bad
Bruce McCulloch
guy plot and the tone of the
Tay Zonday
show that would really help us sort of understand.
Robert Smigel
Well, I mean, again, if they're. If they're solving crimes at, for example, autograph shows, the bad guys could be any number of, like, you know, TikTok stars, people like the kid. The guy who played the kid on the Sopranos. He goes to a lot of autograph shows. Robert Eiler. Robert Eiler. He has a bad reputation anyway. He's a natural villain. The guy who played little Ricky on I Love lucy, he's like 70 years old, and he's deceptively evil and tonally.
Bruce McCulloch
And we're not giving them enough tone comps. It's like Hee Haw meets Squid Game.
Robert Smigel
I love that. I love that.
Bob Odenkirk
Dead on.
Robert Smigel
That is a target.
Bob Odenkirk
Boom.
Robert Smigel
Okay, again. Again, you guys must have a million questions, so I want to give you,
Bruce McCulloch
like, why did you say yes?
Robert Smigel
Like, why did you agree to do this podcast?
Bob Odenkirk
So which of those. Are you asking them? Which of those ideas is most attractive to them? Because I don't want them to fight.
Robert Smigel
I just want to hear from them. Go ahead. I have a Question.
Bob Odenkirk
How.
Robert Smigel
How do you want to incorporate the music into the superhero mall show?
Bob Odenkirk
Oh, that's a good question.
Robert Smigel
We're gonna use Old Man River. I mean, it's.
Bob Odenkirk
It's public domain.
Robert Smigel
Public domain stuff, Tanya. By the way, Mickey Mouse is available.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Yeah.
Robert Smigel
You know, so he can be animated as a side.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Just. Just Steamboat Willie.
Bruce McCulloch
Willie.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
It's gotta be Willie.
Robert Smigel
I'm sorry. So we can use Old Man River, Steamboat Willie, Winnie the Pooh, God bless America.
Bob Odenkirk
By the way, you're giving us a lot to think about with that question. But we're gonna make a note of all these songs we appreciate, filled with music, mostly from before 1920.
Robert Smigel
Yeah, it's coming back. All that stuff is coming back. Because these are the twenties now, you know, old shanties.
Bob Odenkirk
It's going to be mostly sea shanties because who the. From, you know, 1600s is going to come after us?
Robert Smigel
Any other.
Bob Odenkirk
Thank you for that.
Robert Smigel
Any other questions?
Tay Zonday
Mike has a question.
Bob Odenkirk
Yeah, go Mike. I could see. I feel like I've really learned a lot.
Tay Zonday
I just.
Bob Odenkirk
I guess Bob, you had brought this up before.
Kal Penn
Is the.
Bob Odenkirk
Is the kazoo in the episode when he's playing?
Robert Smigel
That's real time that we're watching.
Bob Odenkirk
Always real time.
Robert Smigel
For 15 minutes, we stop the show
Bob Odenkirk
and we're just watching him kazoo for. Thank you.
Bruce McCulloch
And what Bob's obsessed with. And it's kind of a tussle in the room. And if. Is that. If he gets two hours of kazoo, he's playing the kazoo for two hours. And that can be beautiful.
Robert Smigel
We're just locked off.
Bob Odenkirk
We're not cutting. It's one. One take. It's kazoo for two hours.
Bruce McCulloch
I just know it's several takes, but for two hours.
Bob Odenkirk
Look, okay, I'm not gonna fight over that. One take. Several takes. Do what you want. Yeah, you guys do what you want.
Robert Smigel
This is stuff. We want you guys to make the final choice.
Bob Odenkirk
You just made a mistake because you gave us the slug line. The kazoo can be beautiful.
Robert Smigel
Oh, my God.
Bob Odenkirk
You up? That's on the poster.
Ray Porter
Can.
Tay Zonday
Can you list all the tragedies he'll prevent just so we have an idea of how. How many years it'll go through?
Robert Smigel
Sure. Okay, so we start with 1989. Let's see what's. What happened then. What? Oh, my God. That's. That's. The challenger was earlier. I'm sorry, what? Oh, there's a million earthquakes and they. And it just. You know, with global warming, there's even more now.
Bruce McCulloch
What about the killing at the Olympic Village. What year was that?
Robert Smigel
You know, he can accidentally go back to 1972 on some episodes if we run out of tragedies.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
When was baby Jessica in the well?
Robert Smigel
Waco, Columbine. Okay, you know what? I don't think we should list tragedies. I think it's going to bring the energy down. It's just an instinct.
Tay Zonday
Yes.
Robert Smigel
Maybe we shouldn't dwell. Let's just assume I'm not a comedy executive.
Tay Zonday
I don't know these things.
Robert Smigel
Yeah. Yeah. So, guys, I think we have, you know, so I think we have a
Bob Odenkirk
lot of great ideas. I can see your brains are spinning.
Robert Smigel
Brains are spinning.
Bob Odenkirk
And I. I know you can't see your hands. You've been writing the whole time.
Robert Smigel
I guess you guys want to circle back and confab and whatever.
Bob Odenkirk
Seriously, do you validate for the city of San Francisco? Yeah.
Robert Smigel
All these people are in on the pitch, and they'll need validation, too. Somebody just blurted out kazoo.
Bob Odenkirk
What just happened?
Robert Smigel
Okay.
Brett Ambler (Kazoo Kid)
Did I just have a.
Robert Smigel
Guys, it's okay. There's a medical emergency, and we have EMTs taking care of it. We're fine.
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
Fine.
Robert Smigel
We're fine. Put it out of your head. Just like Tay's racism. Everything. Everything that we just add it to the list. Add it to the list. Okay.
Bob Odenkirk
You guys have been great, and you've been amazing. Like these ideas.
Robert Smigel
Does anybody want to. Just for all your help, do you want to. Anybody want to buy something right now before. Before, you know, we get into a bidding war? Does anybody want to commit?
Bruce McCulloch
I think it's Brian.
Robert Smigel
I'm sorry? I think it's Brian.
Tay Zonday
Second chance game show. The racist time traveler is not as ad friendly as we are, so I think my boss would fire me.
Bruce McCulloch
And we are going to send you a 500 page pitch deck.
Tay Zonday
Yes.
Bruce McCulloch
It's in your inbox right now.
Bob Odenkirk
So we'll just sit here while you look through it.
Robert Smigel
So will the audience. We have beautiful artwork, and it's all AI, so not a dime was spent. Anybody have any closing thoughts? You want to confirm? Anybody want to buy something? Or do you want to. You want to confab? You want to circle? I think these were all.
Tay Zonday
These are all very well told. And just give us a minute. We'll come back to you.
Robert Smigel
Give us a minute.
Bruce McCulloch
Yeah. My.
Bob Odenkirk
I think my only thing.
Cindy Crawford
If you.
Robert Smigel
If you do end up selling it
Bruce McCulloch
somewhere, it might not be with us.
Robert Smigel
Even though so much good stuff to really consider is maybe the kazoo. He's profoundly gifted at it, and it's not Annoying. It's actually beautiful to hear him play.
Bob Odenkirk
I see. I like that idea.
Robert Smigel
I love at the top of the. You don't want it even to be a complication at the top.
Bruce McCulloch
I just think it'd be cool if
Robert Smigel
he was, like, freakishly gifted at it and he kind of lures the audience.
Boost Mobile Ad Voice
I understand.
Robert Smigel
But if he. If people like the kazoo, does that make it even more of an alternate universe? I mean, you guys love alternate universe. Show, alternative universe. We. Okay, whatever. Whatever you want, Betsy. Okay, great.
Bob Odenkirk
Thanks so much.
Robert Smigel
Whatever you want. We are open, the three of us. Notoriously open. Well, I want to thank all of you for hearing our pictures. We're gonna circle back. We're gonna get this done. We're gonna get this done. God bless you all. Give them a hand, everybody. Give him a big hand. That's it for the pitch. Now we're going to fight over which idea we like. But no, we're done. This was. I'm sorry it ran a little long, but I think we helped two people here. I think we were a big help. I'm very excited. I'm very excited. And we'll keep you posted. God bless you. Thank you for coming. Thank you, Kirk. Bruce McCullough, Brett the kazoo Guy, Tay Zonday of Chocolate Rain fam. I'm Robert Smigel. Triumph was here. Thank you so much. Have a great night. Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends is a production of iHeartMedia and Big Money Players, created by Michelle Sachs Smigel, who executive produces with her loving husband, Robert. Produced by Frank Stinky Smiley, executive producer for iHeart, Janet Cagle. Video producer Daniel Goodman. Additional material by David Cyrus, edited by Robert Ashe. Theme music by Stephen Gold, sung by America's leading Bruce Springsteen impersonator, Robert L. Poopstein. Don't forget to subscribe and follow to get new episodes of Humor Me each week. And while you're there, rate and review the show. That is, if you liked it. If you didn't, this is Conversation never happened. And we'll see you next week.
Kal Penn
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Robert Smigel
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Bob Odenkirk
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Robert Smigel
I mean, you could just keep buying new underwear.
Bruce McCulloch
Not that I've ever done that.
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Or maybe sort your clothes into piles based on how re wearable or filthy they are. Or just use arm and Hammer Deep Clean. It's made for real life stinks and stains. So even if you don't do laundry, the quote right way Deep Clean will knock it out. I mean it is from the number one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other. Come clean with arm and hand Hammer Deep Clean Number one claim based on total wash loads sold. This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.
Episode: Bob Odenkirk and Bruce McCulloch
Date: May 22, 2026
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts
This laugh-packed episode of Humor Me features comedian and writer Robert Smigel joined by legendary sketch comedy talents Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show, Better Call Saul) and Bruce McCulloch (Kids in the Hall), with appearances by viral internet sensations Brett Ambler aka "Kazoo Kid" and Tay Zonday ("Chocolate Rain"). The core of the episode revolves around the comedic challenge: can Smigel and his guests help Brett and Tay find new, funnier ways to leverage and transcend their meme fame? The episode is set at San Francisco Sketch Fest, with a live, irreverent, and candid tone throughout as the group brainstorms TV concepts, riffs on showbiz war stories, and lampoons the process of pitching Hollywood executives.
[06:12 – 20:31]
[22:01 – 29:18; 41:21 – 45:21]
[29:31 – 41:09; 45:21 – 86:00]
[63:07 – 89:42]
[35:32 – 37:37; 87:00 onwards]
[92:11 – End]
Wildly irreverent, meta, and relentlessly self-aware, this episode exemplifies what happens when veteran comics are given free rein to lampoon showbiz, nostalgia, and the modern meme economy. Show ideas ricochet from plausible to absurd, with underlying affection for their “clients”: viral stars seeking fresh laughs and cultural relevance. Come for the pitch parodies and celebrity ribbing, stay for the open-hearted celebration of comedic failure and the malleability of modern fame.
Best for listeners who love:
Memorable Quote to Sum It Up:
“He has all this wisdom, but no one wants to be near him because he has to keep playing the fucking kazoo. And everybody hates the kazoo. That’s a given.”
— Robert Smigel ([79:40])