Podcast Summary: I Have ADHD Podcast

Episode 37 BITESIZE | How to Manage Life Interruptions (and Not See Them as FAILURE)

Host: Kristen Carder
Date: September 25, 2025

Brief Overview

In this bite-sized episode, Kristen Carder addresses the challenges adults with ADHD face when life interruptions disrupt their ability to follow through on plans. She shares personal stories, highlights the emotional hurdles that come with being derailed, and offers compassionate, practical strategies for reframing setbacks—not as evidence of failure, but as normal, manageable parts of life. Her tone is understanding, encouraging, and laced with humor and relatability.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Reality of Life Interruptions (04:25 - 08:50)

• Kristen recounts getting sick while leading a course on follow-through, highlighting the irony for her as an ADHD coach.
• She likens building momentum with ADHD to starting an old steam train—slow, effortful, gratifying once moving, but hard to restart after interruption.

  “Getting started is so hard. And so finally we're like, kind of in this rhythm and we’re going, and that's great. But then life happens.” — Kristen (06:10)

2. Why Interruptions Hit ADHDers So Hard (07:35 - 10:36)

• The ADHD brain struggles to restart tasks after an interruption due to the substantial mental, emotional, and physical cost.
• Internal cost-benefit analyses often (consciously or unconsciously) convince ADHDers not to restart difficult tasks, leading to giving up.

  “Our ADHD brains are always doing a cost benefit analysis... Is all of the effort that I have to put in to starting over... gonna be worth it? This is so often why we just kind of throw in the towel.” — Kristen (09:22)

3. Letting Go of Shame When Plans Are Derailed (10:40 - 13:50)

• Kristen urges listeners to recognize life’s interruptions are inevitable and not personal failures.
• She cautions against spiraling into shame and frustration, which compounds the difficulty of starting again.

  “It’s not a personal failure when life happens. It's just reality... The faster that we can accept interruptions and setbacks as a part of the process... the faster that we can recover.” — Kristen (11:45)

4. Self-Compassion Beats Self-Criticism (15:22 - 19:44)

• When shame spirals after a setback, Kristen encourages “dropping the drama” and practicing self-compassion.
• She shares a relatable, vulnerable story about being frustrated with her sick child for breaking her momentum, stressing the importance of self-awareness and regulation.

  “I used to get mad at my kids for, for getting sick. Anyone else?... It's so embarrassing to admit, but I hope it's relatable.” — Kristen (16:30)

• Encourages practicing non-judgmental acceptance and using moments of interruption as opportunities for compassion rather than self-loathing.

5. Practical Steps When You’re the Reason for Lack of Follow-Through (20:10 - 26:00)

• If the interruption is due to one’s own actions or inaction, Kristen advocates for gentle curiosity instead of harsh self-talk.

  “Instead of beating yourself up, let's get curious. What's going on here? What's missing? What would actually make it possible for me to follow through?” — Kristen (22:30)

• She suggests checking in with yourself: Do you actually want the thing done? What would help make it easier?
• Drawing from her own parenting experience, she gives the example of supporting her reluctant son during SAT practice instead of shaming or pushing, reinforcing that compassionate support increases follow-through.

6. Building ADHD-Friendly Momentum (26:05 - 29:00)

• Identifies that the ADHD brain resists tasks lacking personal meaning.
• Advises listeners to clarify whether a task is wanted or just a “should.”

  "Do you want this? Do you want to do it? Do you want the outcome? Because our ADHD brains will resist things that don't feel personally meaningful." — Kristen (27:10)

• Recommends implementing structures—external support, task breakdown, self-care, or even embracing a fresh start—without shame.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I was not okay. I was not able to work. I was not able to function. I was so sick. And it was ironic that I'm teaching a course on how to follow through... and in the middle of the course, I get sick, and I'm not able to follow through.” (Kristen, 05:00)
• “If we can just work on dropping the drama and practicing self compassion in these moments, it will allow us to get back on track without burning extra energy on guilt and shame.” (Kristen, 17:40)
• “You can start over. I know that you’re good at starting over because I know you have ADHD. And as someone with ADHD, you’ve had to start over many, many, many times.” (Kristen, 19:12)
• “Maybe we could just bring some awareness. Maybe we could just sit in awareness of like, okay, I'm not doing the thing—and ask a question: what's going on here? What's missing?” (Kristen, 22:32)
• “It's okay to be like, I don't want to do it, but I want it to be done. And so how can I help myself get it done?” (Kristen, 28:00)
• “There's no shame in trying again.” (Kristen, 29:05)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 04:25 – Introduction to life interruptions & the steam train analogy
• 07:35 – Why it's so hard for ADHDers to restart after being derailed
• 10:40 – Moving past shame; reframing interruptions as normal, not failures
• 15:22 – Compassionate perspective on emotional regulation and support
• 20:10 – Addressing self-blame when the problem is internal
• 26:05 – The importance of desire and meaning in follow-through
• 29:05 – Permission to start again, every time

Conclusion

Kristen Carder's episode is a compassionate, humorous, and practical guide for ADHD adults dealing with the challenge of interruptions. She validates the difficulty, normalizes setbacks, and insists on the power of self-compassion over self-criticism. Listeners are encouraged to treat themselves with the same understanding and support they would offer a loved one, and reminded that starting over is not only possible, but expected—and nothing to be ashamed of.