Episode Summary: I Have ADHD Podcast

Episode 382: "You Are Not a F*ck Up" with Cate Osborn and Erik Gude
Host: Kristen Carder
Guests: Cate Osborn (“Katiosaurus”) & Erik Gude
Release Date: March 3, 2026

Overview

In this engaging episode, Kristen Carder is joined by Cate Osborn and Erik Gude—popular ADHD advocates, educators, and co-hosts of the podcast "Kate and Erik’s Infinite Quest & ADHD Adventure." The main focus is on their new book, "The ADHD Field Guide for Adults" (Simon & Schuster, March 3), designed specifically to resonate with the real and varied experiences of adults with ADHD. The conversation traverses their personal diagnosis stories, the importance of acceptance balanced with accountability, the current climate of ADHD discourse, and the deeper issues around relationships, community, and navigating misinformation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal ADHD Journeys and Origins of Collaboration

[06:23–17:56]

• Erik’s Diagnostic Journey:

  • Discovered an interest in academics around age 11-13, but struggled to execute even when motivated.
  • Diagnosis at age 15 after realizing struggles weren’t just a matter of willpower.
  • Medication and acceptance radically improved his self-concept, though the process was ongoing and never linear.
  • Career path included professional cooking and baking, with a pandemic-driven pivot to ADHD content creation on TikTok.
  • Quote:
    “My inability to sit down and just focus on something, because I chose to, was not what I thought it was… there is something going on that’s outside of our control.” [09:15 – Erik]

• Cate’s Diagnostic Journey:

  • Typical “under the radar” gifted girl; excelled academically but struggled with executive function and social cues.
  • Diagnosis precipitated by a severe hormonal shift after ovarian torsion at age 30; prior symptoms overlooked due to competence and educational achievement.
  • Shocked by how little is communicated about ADHD’s interaction with hormones; became a certified sex educator and is now entering a PhD program on neurodivergence and hormones.
  • Quote:
    “I had this massive hormonal shift ... and all of a sudden, I couldn’t sit down long enough to learn my lines ... I was terrified. I was really and truly convinced I had early-onset dementia.” [11:35 – Cate]

• How They Met and Collaborated:

  • They continually got tagged in each other’s TikTok ADHD content in 2020.
  • First live chat lasted four hours—no “official collab” content created; the connection led naturally to the Infinite Quest podcast.
  • Memorable Moment:
    “The first thing I said to Kate ever was, ‘Is that notable TikToker Katiosaurus?’ And she said, ‘Is that notable TikToker Hey Gude?’” [15:55 – Erik]

2. About the New Book: "The ADHD Field Guide for Adults"

[18:39–27:34]

• What Sets It Apart:
  • Designed by ADHDers for ADHDers: dyslexia-friendly font, accessible layout, intended for non-linear reading.
  • Extensive inclusion: features contributions from BIPOC, trans, and nonbinary experts; hundreds of community quotes.
  • Fun, interactive design—every illustration includes a hidden cat (as a nod to executive dysfunction/herding cats).
  • Combines academic, practical, and whimsical elements (history of ADHD, life recipes, personal anecdotes).
  • Focus: Radical acceptance and personal accountability—not infantilizing, but validating and gently challenging.
  • Quote:
    “Every component of this book—from the design to the font to the dyslexia-friendly font—has been designed with the ADHD community in mind.” [22:13 – Kate]
    “It walks the line of tough love... It doesn’t shy away from telling the reader they do have changes they need to make if they want to live happily.” [26:09 – Erik]
  • Fun aspect: A mascot for “tough love”—a type of dinosaur, details left as a hidden Easter egg.

3. The Current ADHD Conversation: Themes and Trends

[28:56–37:09]

• New Frontiers in the Community:

  • Many people are now post-diagnosis (big “pandemic wave”), seeking to move from self-knowledge to thriving.

  • The “second chapter” isn’t just symptom management, but relationships, communication, and integrating ADHD into daily life with nuance and responsibility.

  • Impact on relationships is the single most common challenge communicated by Cate’s audience—intimacy, communication, navigating executive function issues day-to-day.

  • Quote:
    “We are now five years on and we’ve accepted ADHD as part of our identity... How do we live the best life? And it’s not necessarily about ADHD anymore.” [31:13 – Kate]

  • Balancing Acceptance & Accountability:

    • The conversation is moving from radical acceptance (“love me as I am, no changes”) to a balance between acceptance and behavioral change.
    • Important to recognize, as Erik notes, “as adults, we have agency over changing our behavior” [35:06 – Erik].

4. ADHD Myths and Misinformation

[37:09–46:15]

• Rise of AI and Self-Therapy:

  • Cautious about the trend of using ChatGPT or AI tools as makeshift therapists—acknowledge accessibility issues, but warn about limitations and the risks of non-expert guidance.
  • Broader concern: vulnerable neurodivergent individuals being targeted or drawn into online extremism via manipulative “support” systems.
  • Quote:
    “There’s so much acknowledgment we have to have around the lack of access to quality mental health care... but ChatGPT as the best therapist I’ve ever had? I worry about that a lot.” [37:29 – Kate]

• Persistent Myths:

  • “ADHD is a superpower” narrative: Valid for some, but can be exclusionary or invalidating to those who struggle greatly.
  • Commercialization and gamification: Proliferation of new “types” of ADHD (e.g., “tiger”, “platypus”), mostly as a monetization strategy rather than clinical reality.
  • Clarifies medically, there are presentations (inattentive, hyperactive, combined) but not “types.”
  • Quotes:
    “As of today… ADHD does not have different types. It has different presentations.” [43:13 – Erik]
    “If you’re calling your ADHD a superpower, you might be rubbing someone the wrong way… you do you, but understand that ADHD is a debilitating mental disorder for many.” [42:34 – Erik]

• Risks Ahead:

  • AI-generated slop muddies what is scientifically validated—can undermine the progress and self-understanding of ADHDers.
  • The importance of critical thinking and verifying sources.

5. Memorable Quotes & Fun Moments

• “The book is a celebration of what happens when two people with ADHD set out to teach others about ADHD, and it gets very ADHD. But I think that’s kind of nice.” [24:37 – Kate]
• “You are not a f*ck up. That’s the message we wanted to send with this book.” [Intro paraphrase]
• (On imposter syndrome as an author) “Let me just grab the puke bucket real quick.” [19:35 – Kristen]
• “Our illustrator, Lucy… we just kept saying ‘busier, more stuff going on, little stuff to look for’… that’s where the cats came from.” [24:01 – Erik]

6. Where to Get the Book & More

[46:30–49:09]

• "The ADHD Field Guide for Adults" is out today (March 3, 2026) and available wherever books are sold, with a preference for independent bookstores.
• Audiobook recorded by Cate and Erik, including extra Easter eggs for listeners.
• Book tour and live events—details at katiosaurus.com
• For those unable to afford, library requests are encouraged.
• Cate’s separate new show: "Wildly Unprepared"
• Erik’s ongoing instrument-building hyperfixation highlighted as a creative ADHD outlet.

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [06:23] — Introductions; Cate & Erik’s individual diagnosis stories
• [15:55] — Origin of Infinite Quest Podcast and “meeting” story
• [19:35] — Announcement of book; collaborative writing process
• [22:13] — Designing the book for ADHD accessibility and inclusion
• [26:09] — Discussion about balancing “tough love” and support in the ADHD space
• [31:13] — What does post-diagnosis living look like? Moving past self-identification
• [35:06] — Community’s shift towards accountability and self-change
• [37:29] — AI/ChatGPT as therapist—risks and context
• [42:34] — The “ADHD = superpower” debate
• [43:13] — Clarification on ADHD “types” vs “presentations”
• [46:30] — Where to get the book, upcoming tour info, how the audiobook came about

Tone & Atmosphere

• The episode maintains a warm, validating, peer-level tone packed with humor, frankness (“Let me grab the puke bucket…”) and playful banter.
• While the conversation is buoyant and supportive, it doesn't sugar-coat the realities of ADHD; it promotes real compassion with real honesty.
• The guests' authentic vulnerability and mutual respect shine through, offering encouragement without minimizing hardship.

For Listeners: Why Listen to this Episode?

You’ll gain an up-to-date, realistic view of what it means to live as an ADHD adult today—with all its messiness, creativity, and complexity. You’ll hear from voices experienced in the field and deeply embedded in the community, wrestling with the tough questions of personal growth, misinformation, and the evolving ADHD conversation. Plus, you’ll hear about a resource specifically made for you: “The ADHD Field Guide for Adults.” This is essential listening for anyone tired of cookie-cutter advice and ready for a resource that truly “gets” what it’s like to be an ADHDer now.

Notable Links:

• The ADHD Field Guide for Adults (Use your favorite indie bookstore or library!)
• katiosaurus.com — For tour info, guest appearances, and more from Cate and Erik
• Audiobook available wherever digital audiobooks are sold

End with Encouragement:
As Kristen says so often: You are not a fck up. You’re just a person with a unique brain, and there is a place for you here—messiness and all.*