Podcast Summary:

I Have ADHD Podcast with Kristen Carder
Episode 384: “Do It the Easy Way (The Hard Way Is Keeping You Stuck)”
Date: March 10, 2026

Main Theme and Purpose

In this episode, Kristen Carder dives deep into the concept of “the path of least resistance,” challenging the perfectionist and all-or-nothing thinking that often paralyzes adults with ADHD. She shares personal struggles and provides actionable advice on how “doing it the easy way” is not about being lazy but about leveraging self-compassion and realistic expectations, especially for neurodivergent brains. Kristen advocates for giving partial effort rather than none at all, and reframing “easy” as intelligent self-accommodation—not failure.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Burnout and Setting Big Goals

• Kristen shares her recent experience of completing her book manuscript and describes the immense exhaustion and “hangover” (mental, emotional, physical) that followed.
• [03:26] “Last week I sent in the full manuscript of my book...I am so hungover. Mentally, emotionally...the herculean effort that it took...But it’s out of my hands now and I’m so happy to report that I sub[mitted] the entire manuscript.”
• She normalizes the challenge of setting and achieving big goals, especially given the dopamine crash that follows the initial excitement.

2. The Perfectionism Trap

• Kristen explains that adults with ADHD often believe there’s a “right way” to do things, and that anything less doesn’t count. This belief leads to procrastination or avoidance, as the task begins to feel overwhelming.
• [10:34] “We often prevent ourselves from accomplishing a task because we’re convinced there’s a right way to do the task...and that right way feels enormous, it feels difficult, it feels overwhelming.”
• She links this to childhood and societal conditioning: “Anything worth doing is worth doing right,” a message she firmly disagrees with.

3. The Path of Least Resistance

• Kristen reframes the “easy” way as the most effective for people with ADHD: it’s about reducing activation and executive function demands enough to get started.
• [14:30] “The version of the task that requires the least activation, the least energy, uses the least executive function, hurts the least, and gets you into motion the fastest—that’s the path of least resistance for us ADHDers.”
• She challenges the idea that “easy” equals “lazy,” advocating for self-accommodation and self-compassion.

4. Perfectionism and Black-and-White Thinking as Root Causes

• Kristen cites Dr. Russell Ramsey’s research: perfectionism is the number one cognitive distortion in adults with ADHD.
• [17:30] “Perfectionism is the number one cognitive distortion in adults with ADHD...That’s what resisting the path of least resistance looks like.”
• She highlights black-and-white/all-or-nothing thinking as a key barrier to progress: “If I can’t do all of it, I won’t do any of it.”

5. Embracing Partial Credit and Small Steps

• Kristen provides practical reframes: 67% is better than 0; 10% is better than 0; progress—not perfection—builds momentum.
• [32:03] “Your consistency is highly attached to your willingness to do it badly. Your ability to be persistent and show up over and over is so connected to your willingness to allow yourself to do a bad job at something.”
• She shares a personal parenting anecdote about her son choosing to get a 67% on a math test (doing it imperfectly) instead of a 0 (not trying at all).
  • [30:00] “He got a 67. He did not get a zero on the test. And that is my point. A 67% is better than a zero. He was willing to do it wrong.”

6. How to Practice the Path of Least Resistance

• Ask yourself:
  • What’s the easiest possible version of this?
  • What would a 67% or a 10% effort look like?
  • What do I need right now just to take one step forward?
• Kristen suggests physically or mentally acknowledging the pushback from your inner critic, then deliberately choosing gentler, easier actions.
• [37:19] “Do I have time to give it just a tiny bit? Do I have time to give it 10%? Because I’m never gonna have time to get it done, but can I give it just a tiny bit?”

7. The Myth of Consistency and the Need for Self-Compassion

• She warns that holding ourselves to a “perfect” standard of consistency just perpetuates the “start-stop cycle” and chronic shame.
• [39:00] “If consistent looks like perfection, and perfection is difficult and overwhelming, then we’re always going to be in this start-stop cycle.”

8. Personal Transparency: Kristen’s Podcast Path of Least Resistance

• Kristen shares her own plans to take the path of least resistance by repurposing content and reducing her workload in upcoming weeks.
  • [44:50] “Over the next couple weeks...I’m going to take a break from recording brand new content. I’m going to give myself two whole weeks of using FOCUSED classes… That is a 25% effort for me. Still gonna be a great podcast.”
• She encourages listeners, by her own example, to choose persistence over perfection: “I want to lead the way. I don’t want to just tell you to do it, I want to do it.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On self-compassion:

  • [15:57] “Can we throw all of that in the trash can and flush it down the toilet and understand that actually, this (the easy way) is intelligent and compassionate self-accommodation?” — Kristen Carder

• On momentum:

  • [21:22] “If you can get 70% of it done, it could change your whole life. Even if you can get 50% done… that little bit of progress… 0% keeps you stuck in shame.”

• On fighting inner perfectionism:

  • [37:37] “What if we talk back to that voice in our head? What if we say: stop. Thank you for your input. I appreciate what you’re saying, but I don’t agree with you anymore.”

• On realistic consistency:

  • [41:16] “We cannot—listen to me, get in here, let me hold your hand while I say this—we cannot repeat A+ work every single day… but 25% is better than 0%.”

Actionable Takeaways

• Redefine success—Not every day (or task) will be an “A+” effort. Sometimes, a “C-” or “D” is enough to keep you moving.
• Partial credit counts—Allow yourself to do tasks imperfectly. Momentum matters more than getting every detail right.
• Notice and challenge perfectionist thinking—Catch the “I have to do it right, or not at all” voice, and try a softer approach.
• Use real-life examples—What does a “67% effort” look like in your email, your workouts, your projects? Try it and celebrate giving anything, not nothing.
• Self-accommodation is strength—Adapting tasks to your real capacity (wearing sweatpants, sending quick voice notes, repurposing work) is a smart, sustainable approach—not cheating.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:26] – Kristen shares her book manuscript milestone & exhaustion
• [10:34] – The “right” way mindset and task paralysis
• [14:30] – Defining the path of least resistance for ADHDers
• [17:30] – Dr. Russell Ramsey’s research on perfectionism
• [21:22] – Momentum, black-and-white thinking, and small wins
• [30:00] – Kristen’s anecdote about her son’s math test (67% > 0%)
• [32:03] – Consistency = Willingness to do it badly
• [37:19] – Tools for shifting your thinking: prioritize the easiest possible effort
• [39:00] – Why perfectionism kills consistency
• [44:50] – Kristen’s own “easy way” plan: repurposing content as self-care

Episode Tone

• Empathetic, uplifting, and pragmatic. Kristen is gently humorous, self-deprecating, and deeply validating of listeners’ struggles. She models vulnerability and encourages a compassionate, realistic path to progress for adults with ADHD.

Final Message

“Take the path of least resistance. Allow that steam train to just get a little bit of momentum. Celebrate the small wins… When you are struggling, when your capacity is in ebb, when you are overwhelmed and all you can give is 10% and you give it, that’s a huge win.” — Kristen Carder [49:52]

For more resources and to download Kristen’s free guide, visit ihaveadhd.com.