I Have ADHD Podcast Episode 388 Summary

"Money. Let’s Finally Deal With It."

Host: Kristen Carder
Date: March 24, 2026

Main Theme & Purpose

In this deeply practical and compassionate episode, Kristen Carder guides adults with ADHD through the fraught topic of money management. She lifts the shame and confusion that often surround finances in the ADHD community, providing direct, supportive coaching alongside real-life stories and questions from her Focused coaching program members. The episode aims to help listeners understand why money is uniquely challenging for ADHD brains, offer concrete strategies for making money management more ADHD-friendly, and, above all, foster self-forgiveness and hope.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Money Is So Hard With ADHD

• Money Blindness: Kristen introduces the concept of “money blindness,” a counterpart to “time blindness.” For ADHD individuals, money (like time) can feel abstract and non-tangible, making it easy to ignore or mismanage.
  “Just like ADHDers have time blindness, I believe we also have a version of that with our money – money blindness. It's really hard to conceptualize our money. It's really hard to even feel like it's real.” — Kristen (10:38)

• Symptoms Impacting Money:

  • Poor impulse control
  • Struggle to delay gratification and consider future consequences
  • Low working memory and forgetfulness ("losing track of subscriptions, forgetting bills")
  • Boredom and avoidance regarding repetitive financial tasks
  • High levels of shame and emotional dysregulation when facing money issues

“Numbers on a screen don’t feel real. Also, can we just all acknowledge that future consequences don’t feel real?” — Kristen (17:53)

2. The Emotional Load of Managing Money

• Shame Stories Are Universal: Kristen reads shame-laden self-talk from members, such as “I should be better at this by now,” “Everyone else can do it,” and “I help others with money but can’t manage my own.”

• Community Compassion: The group readily gives each other compassion, but struggle to offer themselves the same.
  “We’re so generous with our compassion for others, and we’re so stingy when it comes to compassion for ourselves… You offered it to Tamara. Would you be willing to give yourself the same forgiveness for maybe some of the shame stories that you’re carrying around?” — Kristen (22:46)

• Letting Go of Shame Is Key:
  “You will not progress consistently, sustainably, until you've cut yourself loose from that ball and chain... Forgiving yourself is what's going to allow you to fix the issues.” — Kristen (23:29)

[Notable Quotes & Moments]

• “If Tamra deserves forgiveness, then I do, too.” — Kristen (24:19)
• “Fix, then forgive, right? We've got it backwards. We gotta forgive, then fix. Or we can do it simultaneously.” — Kristen (24:41)

3. Making Money Tangible: Practical Strategies

(Timestamp: 27:34–44:30)

• Interacting Regularly With Money: Kristen asks listeners to interact with their accounts frequently ("at least once a day"), making their financial situation concrete to reduce fantasy and avoidance.

• Real-Time Exercise:
  She walks the group through opening their bank and credit card statements during the session.
  “Why don’t we take about five minutes… Just pull up our accounts. What's happening in there? What's going on?” — Kristen (27:57)

• Addressing Tech & Accessibility Barriers:
  Listeners like Nicole share obstacles such as lack of phone storage preventing access to their banking app — highlighting how ADHD “one step actually becomes 17 difficult steps.” (31:34)

• Plugging Leaks:
  Members find forgotten subscriptions and missed payments by checking accounts during the call. Kristen stresses the power of small, consistent check-ins to stop “death by a thousand cuts” in expenses. (32:26)

• Body Doubling/Acountability:
  Kristen suggests co-working or “body doubling” (doing tasks together, even virtually) to increase follow-through and regulation.
  “Body doubling is essentially co-working with other people... your brain is more prone to consent when you’re working with someone else.” — Kristen (36:51)

[Memorable Moment]

• Kristen recounts her own “Ynab disaster” — losing three years of budgeting data by impulsively clicking the wrong button — and the frustration, avoidance, and eventual self-forgiveness that followed. (29:34)

4. Spending With Intention & Self-Compassion

• Values-Aligned Spending: Kristen pushes listeners to drop the guilt for needed or meaningful purchases and see money as a tool to support their unique lives.

“I feel so good now when I spend money on the things that make my life better and easier… I’m now at the place where I’m able to say money is a tool and I get to use it in values-aligned ways.” — Kristen (40:08)

• Outsourcing and Support: Spending on cleaning, laundry, and pre-made food — rather than self-recrimination — can be liberating for ADHDers.
• Normalizing the Use of Money for Self-Care: Members share “guilt-free” purchases that make life easier, reinforcing the power of intentional spending.

5. Setting Up Systems & Tools

• Automatic Bill Pay: A major tip — put as many bills as possible on autopay to avoid late fees.

• Accounts Bucketing: Kristen recommends:

  • Separate checking, savings, and emergency fund accounts.
  • Use the “profit first” method (divide money up front for different purposes)
  • Build up to having an emergency fund ($1,000 to start; eventually six months of expenses) (44:08)

• Budgeting Tools for ADHD Brains:
  Community recommendations:

  • You Need a Budget (YNAB)
  • Personal Capital
  • Monarch
  • Quicken Simplifi
  • PocketGuard
  • Excel spreadsheets
  • (Mint, but it shut down recently)

• Rocking the Small Steps:
  “You’re allowed to forgive yourself for past mistakes with your money. You’re allowed to spend your money in values-aligned ways. You’re allowed to make mistakes and still be nice to yourself. And you’re allowed to just remind yourself, I’m figuring this out. I’m learning.” — Kristen (49:35)

Timestamps of Important Segments

| Segment | Topic | Timestamp | |---|---|---| | Opening & Purpose | Setting the stage, path of least resistance | 03:54–07:22 | | Money Blindness & Emotional Barriers | Why ADHD makes money hard, shame stories | 08:15–19:30 | | Letting Go of Shame | Self-compassion vs. regret | 19:30–25:45 | | Making Money Tangible – Group Exercise | Concrete steps, interacting with accounts, live member challenges | 27:34–36:30 | | Spending Without Guilt | Values-aligned choices, support for outsourcing and self-forgiveness | 40:08–44:35 | | Building Systems | Automatic bill pay, budgeting, emergency funds, ADHD-friendly tools | 44:35–49:19 |

Notable Quotes

• “Can we point out our own questionable choices without using shame? Right.” — Kristen (13:30)
• “Forgiving yourself is what’s going to allow you to fix the issues.” — Kristen (23:34)
• “Interacting with [money] multiple times a day if possible, at least once a day. Where are we at?” — Kristen (27:37)
• “A small leak will sink a large vessel. Death by a thousand cuts.” — Kristen (32:49)
• “You are allowed to make mistakes and still be nice to yourself... I deserve compassion. I deserve forgiveness.” — Kristen (49:38)

Original Language and Tone

Kristen is warm, frank, and encouraging throughout the episode. She keeps the tone personal, community-oriented, and nonjudgmental — fostering camaraderie, relatability, and safety around the difficult topic of money.

Summary Takeaways

• ADHD brains experience "money blindness" and need systems to make money management concrete and regular.
• Emotional regulation is as important as practical skill in managing money; shame is the enemy of progress.
• Regular, small check-ins and body doubling can make the difference in managing finances.
• Spending money in values-aligned ways is not just acceptable but desirable; it’s self-supportive, not wasteful.
• Set up systems — autopay, buckets, and budgeting tools — to work with your brain, not against it.
• Self-forgiveness and community support are essential for moving forward.

For listeners new to this episode:
Kristen’s approach is a blend of practical coaching, self-compassion, humor, and real-life examples from her ADHD community. You’ll leave with new ways to reframe your relationship with money — and yourself.