← I Have ADHD Podcast
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- [00:00]
Kristen Carter
This episode is sponsored by Tochiatry. Sometimes figuring out the right mental health support can feel overwhelming. You're trying strategies, listening to podcasts, maybe even going to therapy, but you still feel like something isn't fully clicking. That's where talkiatry comes in. Talk I train is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides evaluations, diagnoses and ongoing medication management for mental health conditions like adhd, anxiety, depression and more. Unlike therapy only platforms, this is psychiatry, meaning you're working with a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. You'll meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan and supports you over time with consistent evidence based care. They accept major insurers so that you can use your existing insurance instead of paying out of network costs. I've used Tochiatry. It's simple. Getting started just takes a few minutes. Complete a short assessment, get matched and schedule your first visit in days, not months. More than 300,000 patients have already found care through Talkiatry. Head to talkiatry.com ihaveadhd to get matched in minutes.
- [01:12]
Co-host or Guest
This episode is sponsored by Quince.
- [01:14]
Kristen Carter
Summer always makes me rethink what I'm actually reaching for every day. I want lighter fabrics, better materials and pieces that feel effortless the second I put them on. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. I love Quince.
- [01:25]
Co-host or Guest
Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100%
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Kristen Carter
European linen pants, dresses and tops with styles starting at just 32 bucks. Their linen sets have honestly become my summer uniform. Easy, breathable, comfy, and somehow always makes me look like I'm more put together
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Co-host or Guest
than I actually feel.
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Kristen Carter
Their denim is soft and comfortable, their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for the cooler nights, and everything feels elevated without being fussy or pretentious. What really surprises me is the pricing. Everything at Quint is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. And it's not just clothing. They also have beautiful home, kitchen and bedding essentials. I use it.
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Co-host or Guest
I love it. I did it before they were a sponsor and I'm gonna keep going.
- [02:09]
Kristen Carter
And you should too. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com I have ADHD for free shipping on Your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com I have ADHD. Hey, what's up this is Kristen Carter and you are listening to a bite sized episode of the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated and ready to roll.
- [02:39]
Co-host or Guest
This little episode is one of my
- [02:41]
Kristen Carter
favorite clips from the podcast.
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Co-host or Guest
It's perfect if you're not in the
- [02:44]
Kristen Carter
mood for a full hour long listen
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Co-host or Guest
because let's be real, some of us
- [02:49]
Kristen Carter
ADHD ers just don't have the patience for, for all of that. But if you are a die hard listener, think of this as your midweek pick me up. It's Thursday y'. All. Friday is right around the corner. If you love this clip, check out the show notes for a link to the full episode. And remember my friend, drink your water, take your meds, grab a snack. Now let's get rolling.
- [03:13]
Co-host or Guest
This person went to a doctor's appointment and relayed this to a doctor. Now how many of you have been to a doctor and you've kind of like exposed yourself and you've been vulnerable and you've asked for help and they've responded to you in a way that really makes you feel dismissed, unheard and like they just do not get it. And that was this person's exact experience. They came out of the doctor's appointment being so activated, so like on fire with just like this person did not understand. And again, the traditional advice didn't resonate. The traditional advice of like, eat more foods, let's look into calorie tracking, let's look into, you know, more calorie, dense foods. Not helpful. So what we discovered. What we discovered and like now looking back, it just makes so much sense. And so I really hope this resonates with you. What we discovered is that this person was actually struggling with an eating disorder. Now, I would have never clocked them as having an eating disorder because I grew up in the 90s and my perception of what an eating disorder looks like is anorexia or bulimia. Someone who is extremely obsessed with their body. Somebody who is wanting, you know, all day long thinking about their body. And obviously I don't know much about anorexia or bulimia, but this was my perception that it was body like eating disorders are body focused. Eating disorders are, you know, you want to lose weight. Eating disorders are you're obsessed with how you look and you're trying to change it. And that's not at all what this person was struggling with. And so I never ever would have thought that they would be diagnosed with an eating disorder, but they were. We're going to talk all about it. I'M going to go into it in depth and I hope that it's so helpful for you. So they were diagnosed with arfid, which stands for avoidant restrictive food intake disorder.
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Kristen Carter
Now people with ARFID have an eating
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Co-host or Guest
disorder, but it is not a body based eating disorder in that they're not trying to like change the way their body looks. Okay, but let me describe it to you a little bit. People with ARFID eat a very limited variety or amount of food and it
- [05:48]
Kristen Carter
causes problems in their lives.
- [05:50]
Co-host or Guest
These problems may be health related, like losing too much weight or not getting enough nutrients. And these problems also may be social, like not being able to eat meals with others. ARFID is different from other eating disorders. This is so important and this is what, like completely shocked me. ARFID is different from other eating disorders like anorexia, because people with ARFID don't worry much about how they look or about how they weigh. Instead, people with ARFID might have one or two or three of these important concerns and we're going to go through them. Number one, some people with ARFID find that novel foods have a strange or intense taste, like a texture or a smell, and they feel safer eating foods that they know very well. I just wonder like who of you relates to this or how many of you can look at your kids and say, oh yeah, okay. They find novel foods have a stranger intense taste, texture or smell and they feel safer eating foods that they know very well. Number two, and this is interesting, and I think this is the type of ARFID that I have seen portrayed on social media. Another aspect of ARFID is that people have had a scary experience with food like choking or throwing up or an allergic reaction. So they might avoid the food that made them sick that one time or stop eating it altogether. And then lastly, and this is primarily what the person that I love struggles with, still others don't feel hungry very often or they think that eating is a chore or they get full very
- [07:45]
Kristen Carter
quickly, which can also be a sensory issue.
- [07:48]
Co-host or Guest
So you get full quickly and you don't like the feeling of being full. It feels bad in your body. And so you try to avoid the feeling of being very full. One of the conversations that we had with this person, you know, back before we had all of this information, they would say, I'm full. And we would say, that's totally fine if you want to gain weight. Part of gaining weight is eating a little bit past that feeling of being full. And that was really difficult for them. To receive. And it made them really upset because the experience in their body of being really full was so uncomfortable, they couldn't even imagine having to eat past that
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Kristen Carter
feeling of being full.
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Co-host or Guest
So I just, I just want to pause here and ask you, does this feel like you or anyone you love? Because the more that I have like pulled this apart, learned about it, I can see this in myself a hundred percent. A hundred percent. This is something. I can see this in me as a kiddo. I can see this in my kids as they were kiddos. Like maybe not to a diagnosable extent, but definitely tendencies of it. Here's the part that is so important for everyone to understand about arfid. And sorry, I'm like struggling to speak because I really want to say this gently. A lot of clinicians don't know about arfid. A lot of doctors don't know about arfid. And so they will label people or children as being picky or being stubborn or needing boundaries. And that's not at all what it is. It's not about being picky. It's not about being stubborn. On the contrary, people with ARFID have underlying biological traits that initially made their eating habits illogical choice and then once established those logical choices that they were making, develop a pattern. A pattern of avoidance becomes this longstanding, you know, habit. And then they're highly resistant to change. This episode is sponsored by AG1.
- [10:14]
Kristen Carter
One thing I've learned about summer is that routines have to be flexible or they don't survive. Between travel, packed weekends and late nights, I need habits that are simple enough to take with me anywhere. And that's why AG1 works so well for my ADHD life. AG1 is a daily health drink with a multivitamin free and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants all in one scoop. The next gen formula delivers 75 ingredients and is clean, clinically shown to support gut health, fill in common nutrient gaps, and improve key nutrient levels within three months. For me, it's less about being perfect. You know that. And more about having one persistent thing that supports me no matter what my schedule looks like. One scoop 10 ounces of water. Done. I use it every single day. And you should too. Visit drinkag1.comihaveadhd to get a free morning person hat, which I ironic.
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Co-host or Guest
I love it.
- [11:07]
Kristen Carter
And a free AG1 flavor sampler in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription. That's an $82 value. Go to drink ag1.com IhaveADHD this episode is sponsored by Quince. If you have ADHD, you might understand this. Getting dressed can feel way more overwhelming than it should be. Too many choices, too many textures, too many things that technically look cute but don't actually feel comfortable enough to wear all day. So lately I've been trying to simplify my closet instead of constantly adding to it. And that's why I've been lo Quints. Their pieces are the kind that you reach for without thinking. Breathable linen, soft, organic cotton, easy denim. Clothes that feel good immediately and somehow look elevated. I have a linen set from Quince that basically has become my summer uniform because it removes so much decision fatigue. I put it on, feel comfortable, and I don't have to think about it again. And the prices honestly surprise me. Quince works directly with ethical factories, so everything is priced way lower than similar luxury brands without sacrificing quality. I use it and you should, too. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com ihaveadhd for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com ihaveadhd Huge.
- [12:25]
Co-host or Guest
Huge, huge, huge. How many of you are parenting kids that are really, really picky eaters? One of the struggles in my own family is, you know, my husband was raised in a family where you just eat what's on the table, nobody complains about it, and he never had a problem just eating what was put in front of him. God bless. That's amazing. I come from a family where we all had kind of like sensory things. We all struggled to eat. My mom would say, like, you eat like a bird. You hardly eat anything. And looking back, I can see like, yeah, it was a texture issue for me. It was a safety issue for me. It was a, like a resistance to new for me. And to hear like, this is an underlying biological trait, it's like, that is so, so helpful. Okay. The good news is that these patterns can be interrupted and ARFID can be worked with. And there are, there are things that we're going to talk about later that will help. But let's talk about first. What happens when you eat a limited variety of foods?
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Kristen Carter
Okay.
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Co-host or Guest
So what's interesting and what, what I've learned is that flavor preferences are partially genetic, which is fascinating because if you've ever blamed your kids, like, what is wrong with you? You're like, why can't you just try something new? Like understanding. Oh, it's, it's actually Genetic flavor preferences are actually partially genetic. That's really, really, really important. And also people with ARFID are often super tasters. Meaning that they could have been born with high concentration of taste buds on their tongue and dislike things like bitter foods, vegetables. Like, is this why I can't eat a vegetable? I said this to my husband the other day. Is, is arfid now, to be clear, I have not been diagnosed. I believe that I am accommodating myself well, and I have good nutrition intake, blah, blah, blah. But is this why I can't eat a vegetable? Is this why, like, the thought of cooking like broccoli and then actually eating it or a green bean. Get out of here. I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can't do it. And I'm a 44 year old educated grown ass woman. Why can't I eat a vegetable? Why can't I do it? Is it perhaps because I'm a supertaster that like, the bitter foods are just like explosively disgusting in my mouth? Maybe, maybe. Okay, so what's so interesting is that once someone with ARFID develops this pattern of limited food intake so there's like just a small amount of foods that they're willing and able to eat, then that limited diet does keep ARFID going. So it's kind of like this loop of like, I start with a limited diet that feels safe and good to me, but because I only have a limited diet, it keeps this avoidant, restrictive diet in play. Okay. Because eating the same foods all the time makes new foods taste even more different. And certain nutrition deficiencies can change the way that food tastes, making new foods even less appealing. And eating a particular food over and over, over might also make you tired of that food. So how many of you are like, eating eggs every day? I'm gonna eat eggs every day. And then all of a sudden the eggs start tasting very eggy. Has anyone experienced this? Like, all of the sudden the eggs are just like, this is tasting very eggy and you just like never eat it again. Anyone? Just me. Maybe it's just me. So like, you get tired of that food and you stop eating it. And then your diet becomes even more limited because one of your safe foods is no longer available to you. Eating a very limited diet can also cause serious health problems because eating preferred foods in like, higher sugar and fat is associated obviously with diabetes and heart disease. Like, we know this because we're educated. And that's part of the problem is like, for me, I know that vegetables are good for me. I understand that. Like, no duh, I already know that. But why can't I get myself to eat them? So avoiding non preferred foods like fruits and vegetables is obviously going to be associated with, with health risks, with cancers, with diabetes, like those kinds of things. That's not good. That's not good for us. It may be hard to eat. This is so interesting, like the social component. And one of my kids expressed this just kind of randomly a couple weeks ago. They said, they said, when I get a girlfriend, my biggest fear is that I'll go to their house and the family will serve something that I literally can't eat. And at the time, this was before I had done research on arfid. I was kind of like, I kind of just like laughed it off. I was like, oh, that's so cute. Like, you'll, you'll be fine. Hello, dismiss, dismissive mother. Like, what if this child is actually struggling with arfid? What if this is actually a very real valid anxiety that they have? Like, what if this child actually needs some therapy to be able to eat outside of like chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese, hamburgers, you know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying? Somebody recently told me that their fiance had to go to therapy in order to like work up the ability to eat the meal that they served at their wedding. Like, this is not nothing, y'.
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Kristen Carter
All.
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Co-host or Guest
And it's not just kids that struggle with it, it's adults as well. Imagine being like, okay, we're having this wedding, we're having this fancy dinner. Obviously like a hot dog is not going to be served. I'm the groom. It's my responsibility to like, obviously I'm going to be hungry. I have to eat in front of all of these people at the head table.
- [18:43]
Kristen Carter
But I don't want to eat this stuff.
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Co-host or Guest
I don't want to eat what's on the plate. It's disgusting to me. It's, it, it, there's anxiety there. I can't even imagine. When they shared that with me, I was like, you should look into Arfid. Because of course I've been going down the rabbit hole. So additionally, what happens, let's talk about what happens when you become more careful about eating after a negative experience with food. So remember, part of the ARFID experience for some is that they've had a negative experience with the food. Maybe they choked on it, maybe they threw up afterwards, maybe they got stuck sick afterwards and now they've restricted their diet from that food because of that negative experience. So let's talk about that. Negative experiences with food such as choking, vomiting, an allergic reaction or pain after eating. Obviously that can be traumatic, right? And those experience might cause you to limit your diet to prevent further trauma. So you might even avoid any food that reminds you of that traumatic experience. Or stop eating eating altogether. How does avoiding foods or eating altogether keep arfid going? You may be using safe behaviors to try to prevent another traumatic experience from happening, like taking really really small bites, chewing food for much longer than needing, needed only eating at familiar restaurants, or not eating at all. Safety behaviors prevent you from testing negative predictions about eating. What's so fascinating? And you can see how this is just a perpetuated cycle. Because safety behaviors, those safety behaviors of like not eating or only eating at familiar restaurants or chewing much longer, etc. I just listed them. Those safety behaviors prevent you from testing your negative predictions about the food. So it's like this food makes me sick. That's what we've decided. Cause it made me sick that one time. I'm never gonna try it again. So I never get to test that prediction and prove it untrue. I never get to disprove that right? And the more you avoid eating, the scarier it becomes. I just wonder like who are you thinking about right now? Are you thinking about you? Are you thinking about your partner? You think about your cousin? You're thinking about your kids?
- [21:16]
Kristen Carter
Thanks for listening to this bite sized episode of the I have ADHD Podcast. If you enjoyed this clip, you'll find a link to the full episode in the show notes. And don't Forget to visit ihaveadhd.com for tons of adults. ADHD support all right my friends, I had a great time with you today and I cannot wait to talk to you again next week. Bye Bye.
- [21:48]
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