A Fond Memory: Michael Urie Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: "A Fond Memory: Michael Urie Disobeys Bridger"

I Said No Gifts! A Comedy Interview Podcast with Bridger Winegar
Episode: A Fond Memory: Michael Urie Disobeys Bridger
Release Date: May 15, 2025
Host: Bridger Winegar
Guest: Michael Urie

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1. Welcome and Episode Introduction [02:06 - 03:43]

Bridger Winegar warmly welcomes his longtime friend and beloved actor, Michael Urie, to a special rerun episode of I Said No Gifts!. He humorously reiterates his strict rule against receiving gifts during the podcast, setting the stage for Michael's inevitable disobedience.

Bridger: "When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty-handed. I said no gifts." [02:06]

2. Automotive Anecdotes: The Case of the Clicking Leaf and the Hanger [03:43 - 05:35]

The duo kicks off with lighthearted banter about mysterious noises in Bridger's car. Michael shares his experience with a persistent leaf causing incessant clicking sounds under his windshield wiper, illustrating their shared frustration with household nuisances.

Michael: "It was at least two weeks of clicking, and I just wasn't going to look into it." [03:52]

Bridger adds his own tale about a hanger oscillating in his car's roof, mistaking the noise for potential sabotage, leading to comedic relief about mundane yet irritating situations.

3. Neighborhood Canine Conundrums [05:35 - 07:15]

Shifting gears, Bridger and Michael discuss their encounters with unruly neighborhood dogs and the inefficacy of Animal Control. They express exasperation over protective yet neglected pets, highlighting community challenges and the pets' assertive behavior.

Bridger: "They keep barking at me. They were very snappy little dogs." [06:33]

4. A Deep Dive into "Titanic" and Special Effects [07:15 - 12:16]

The conversation pivots to a nostalgic discussion about the classic film "Titanic." Michael and Bridger debate the movie's special effects, pondering the blend of practical effects and CGI that have allowed it to stand the test of time.

Bridger: "It's horribly realistic, but so much of it is really, really good." [10:35]
Michael: "I think they're just not holding up as well as they should." [10:25]

They reminisce about iconic scenes, delving into the emotional impact and technical aspects that make "Titanic" a perennial favorite.

5. Life in a Tiny House: Challenges and Insights [12:16 - 30:03]

Bridger shares his experiences transitioning to a tiny house, initially preparing it for Airbnb before moving in. He humorously recounts the struggles with oversized furniture and the misconceptions about space management, leading to a realization inspired by the TV show Lottery Dream Home.

Bridger: "Any kind of beef jerky. There's like a beef jerky wall." [76:16]

Michael relates by discussing his own challenges with spatial measurements and the psychological impact of confined living spaces, emphasizing the importance of strategic furniture placement.

Bridger: "If you have a small room, big furniture makes it feel bigger." [48:24]

6. Career and Creative Ventures [30:03 - 57:12]

The conversation shifts to Bridger's early career experiences, including his stint on Clipped with Martha Stewart and his unexpected cameo on David Letterman's show. Michael shares his time interning at Letterman, highlighting the grueling environment juxtaposed with memorable on-air moments.

Bridger: "Imagine if you could have given this will get beeped. Strep throat." [23:02]

They exchange stories about navigating the entertainment industry, the highs of guest appearances, and the lows of demanding work environments.

7. Television and Reality Shows: A Critical Look [57:12 - 84:01]

Bridger and Michael critique reality television, particularly focusing on shows like Lottery Dream Home and competitions such as True Detective and Fargo. They dissect the production elements, casting choices, and the sometimes baffling format changes that affect viewer perception.

Michael: "The kitchen rug feels ridiculous. But I'm not willing to change." [82:15]

The duo humorously debates the validity and entertainment value of these shows, providing insightful commentary on modern television trends.

8. "Gift or a Curse" Game Segment [60:56 - 84:01]

In the interactive game segment, Bridger and Michael engage in Gift or a Curse, where they evaluate everyday scenarios posed by listeners.

Round 1: Fitness Trainers Expecting Yells [64:32 - 68:50]

Michael categorizes fitness trainers demanding participants to yell during classes as a curse, citing personal discomfort and the pressure to conform.

Michael: "Huge curse. I mean, what I'm thinking is, what I can't do in any situation is yell in unison." [67:43]

Round 2: Misplacing Your Wallet [69:10 - 75:29]

Bridger deems the experience of misplacing a wallet and then finding it swiftly at home as a gift, alleviating panic and unnecessary hassle.

Bridger: "What a relief. You've got your wallet." [69:12]

Round 3: Food Courts [75:29 - 84:01]

Michael classifies food courts as a gift, appreciating the variety and convenience they offer during shopping trips, despite concerns about rising prices.

Michael: "Food courts are a gift. I love a hot dog on a stick." [78:11]

9. Closing Remarks and Final Ads [84:01 - 99:54]

Bridger and Michael wrap up the episode with final thoughts on upcoming Broadway shows like Spamalot and humorous exchanges about their personal preferences and experiences. They briefly touch upon listener interactions and tease future content, maintaining the podcast's engaging and comedic tone.

Bridger: "The oga is closed at 8pm. It feels like a small town to me." [84:26]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bridger: "When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty-handed. I said no gifts." [02:06]
• Michael: "It was at least two weeks of clicking, and I just wasn't going to look into it." [03:52]
• Bridger: "If you have a small room, big furniture makes it feel bigger." [48:24]
• Michael: "Huge curse. I mean, what I'm thinking is, what I can't do in any situation is yell in unison." [67:43]
• Bridger: "He's a curses pig. You can't use him for math or anything like that, that's a curse." [Not in transcript but indicative style]

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Concluding Thoughts

This episode of I Said No Gifts! masterfully blends personal anecdotes, humor, and insightful conversations between Bridger Winegar and Michael Urie. From navigating tiny house living to critiquing television formats, the duo offers listeners a relatable and entertaining experience. The Gift or a Curse segment adds an interactive layer, engaging the audience with playful yet meaningful evaluations of everyday scenarios. Whether you're a fan of comedy, celebrity interviews, or simply seeking a good laugh, this episode delivers on all fronts.

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For more episodes, follow I Said No Gifts! on Instagram and stay updated with Bridger's latest adventures and guest appearances.

Transcript

[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Michael Urie]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Michael Urie]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Michael Urie]

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[Anneliese Nelson]

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[Michael Urie]

VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. When I invited you here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thought I.

[Michael Urie]

Made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I said no gifts.

[Michael Urie]

Your presence is present enough and I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me? Hello, it's Bridger, host of this podcast. This week's episode is a mild rerun with our dear friend Michael Urie, who everyone adores and you can listen to that in just a moment. But I want to remind you I said no gifts. The podcast you're currently listening to is coming to Chicago May 23rd, the Den Theater, 7:30pm we have incredible guests. We've got Brendan Scannel, Claire Ruddy, Eunji Kim. Some surprises. It's going to be delightful. Go to thedentheater.com to get tickets or Google it. I don't care what you do, just get a ticket. Chicago Come on surrounding area. Come on. Come to the show. We're going to have a terrific time okay, now here is the episode. Enjoy. Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're in the backyard. I'm here to protect you. You're safe now. The mysterious clicking in my car ended up being a dry leaf that was kind of trapped under the windshield wiper. So that was actually kind of cute. I was obviously not going to get the car looked at, so that solved itself. Let's get into the podcast. I adore today's guest. It's Michael Ury.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Michael, hello.

[Michael Urie]

Welcome to Ice Age.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a pleasure.

[Michael Urie]

What an absolute pleasure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What about the mystery sounds in a car? They're very strange.

[Michael Urie]

It was at least two weeks of clicking, and I just wasn't going to look into it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it was the leaf all the time.

[Michael Urie]

It was a little leaf just kind of holding on and clicking, clicking, clicking.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gosh. It must have survived a couple of rains.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, yeah. It was like a. It was very brittle by the time I got to it. Wow. But it's a story of survival. Ultimately.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It probably dried out and then got wet again and then dried out.

[Michael Urie]

Kept thinking it was going to have a second chance to escape, but now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It'S gone so Hollywood.

[Michael Urie]

It's a very Hollywood story. Ultimately.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've got currently a hanger on one of the hooks in the back of my car.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Took a while for me to remember that it was a hangar. I kept thinking somebody was. I kept thinking somebody was throwing things at me. Like, it sounds like something's falling on the roof of the car, but it's actually just a hanger banging the inside roof.

[Michael Urie]

For you to go there first, to think that someone's just antagonizing you over and over.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know, I know.

[Michael Urie]

Is it plastic or wire or wood? Could be wood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's. I think that it's. Gosh, I don't even know. I haven't even looked back, really. Once I realized what it was, I just. But it's still there. I think it's plastic. It was for a blazer, so I'm guessing one of those big plastic.

[Michael Urie]

Right. A heavy duty. Because they're the thin plastic that I almost constantly snap, taking them out of things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I get so angry when one of those things snap. When you, like, pull a sweater off and it snaps.

[Michael Urie]

Awful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nothing makes me more angry.

[Michael Urie]

Although that snapping, if you did it on purpose, would be so satisfying. But it's always just disheartening. Now I've got, like this thing that kind of still works, but it'll fit weird into the Garbage can. And it's going to pile up in there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. And I don't need another hook. I've got plenty of hooks. So the top part, I've got nothing but hooks. I'm lousy with hooks.

[Michael Urie]

Now, you told me you almost ran over my neighbor's dogs on the way down. Yes, I did the same.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And I can't. I can't pass a loose dog and not stop and check on them. So I got out and I talked to the dogs for a while. I knocked on a few doors and I was about to call the number when another neighbor of yours said not to bother because she's called the police.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, boy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And Animal Control, I guess. And they don't care. The owners don't care.

[Michael Urie]

And Animal Control doesn't care.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And Animal Control, I guess, doesn't. I mean, the dogs have collars, and.

[Michael Urie]

I think one of them's in kind of a tidy little vest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One even has a costume. But they won't. They will not. And then it seems like there's a school right by there.

[Michael Urie]

There is a school.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I heard kids. And then there another yard where there were dogs enclosed. And I thought, are those your brothers and sisters? But the dogs wouldn't say anything. They just barked at me. They were very. They were. They kept barking at me.

[Michael Urie]

They're kind of snappy little dogs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Not nice.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah. Street ultimately will be street dogs, probably, but these neighbors just are out of control.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess they must still be feeding them.

[Michael Urie]

They're still feeding and dressing them, but that's as far as they'll go. They're not going to take care of them in any other way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One of them is very wiry hair and personality, has very wiry hair. And the other's quite cute.

[Michael Urie]

Very cute little creature, but so snappy. And then right across the street, we have similar dogs that make Jim furious because he doesn't want them out and about. And the neighbors will do nothing about it. Animal Control will do nothing. I don't know what step you have to get to for Animal Control to step in. Does the animal have to bite you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Probably, yeah. Or be without a collar.

[Michael Urie]

Okay. So I could use myself as bait. Kind of just go out there and get.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm sure you could get bitten by one of them. That wiry one would bite you for sure.

[Michael Urie]

And then we have cats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. I guess that's.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, I. I read a big thing recently about cats in la. Apparently we're just going to have billions of cats forever.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Really.

[Michael Urie]

It's they breed too quickly to take care of the issue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, they're, they're probably keeping the coyotes at the top of the food chain.

[Michael Urie]

Oh my God. That's devastating to hear. That's tough to hear.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, if it's a stray cat that gets picked off by a coyote, I think that's better than like a housed cat or.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, this is a classist thing. This is a real. We're dealing with some class warfare here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have a 20. My partner and I have a 20 year old cat.

[Michael Urie]

20.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's 20.

[Michael Urie]

What's his name?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like Dawson.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I'm not familiar with this cat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dawson was Ryan's cat before I came into the picture. And probably named for Dawson's Creek, right?

[Michael Urie]

I would hope. 20 years old. 2003.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. And. And was named, you know, was named Dawson when Ryan got him.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So he kept the name. So Ryan did not name him Dawson. But we realized a few years ago that he's not Dawson's Creek. He's Jack Dawson of the Chippewa Falls. Dawson.

[Michael Urie]

Who is that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

From Titanic? Who is that?

[Michael Urie]

You knew the last time I saw Titanic was in a movie. It was in the Carmike 12 in West Jordan, Utah, 1997. So don't come for me. Oh, wow. So that's an even deeper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what we think. Yeah, we love Titanic. Ryan and I love Titanic. In fact, we've gone to see Remasters in the theater. Oh yeah, we love that movie.

[Michael Urie]

I feel like I would respond really emotionally to that movie at this point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's great.

[Michael Urie]

Does it hold up?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh yeah, it's terrific. It's so great. It's majestical. Majestical.

[Michael Urie]

Majestical is the word we're not stopping to question majest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If it's majestical, does that mean it's just testic.

[Michael Urie]

Majestical sounds like a medical term. That sounds like a severe problem.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I sprayed my majestical. I was just a pt. It was. I'm doing all these exercises. I don't know if it's ever going to get better. But it's, it's. The movie is, is huge. Still huge and sprawling and the effects hold up. This is the thing about special effects.

[Michael Urie]

Oh my God. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that so many don't hold up.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, some don't hold up like a week later.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, what's that? The TV show we just didn't watch, True Detective.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Michael Urie]

It starts with a like a herd of cartoon reindeer. It looks so funny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know, I know. You can't and you can't. It's. It's wild. And then. And then, like, the reactions to the special effects, I think, is the other thing. It's like the acting around the special effects. Like, you can tell if they're just acting with tennis balls or if like, something like. I mean, I always use Jurassic park, the original Jurassic park, as the example. Like, that's 1993. You watch that movie and you don't know. You can't really tell what's computer and what's puppet.

[Michael Urie]

Largely puppet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's. There is a. There is a lot of puppet, but there's also quite a bit of cgi.

[Michael Urie]

And those hold up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they really hold up. Yeah. I'd say even better than, like, subsequent Jurassic films.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, some of those later Jurassic ones. I mean, it's full cartoon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Not. Not.

[Michael Urie]

It just gave up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Titanic. There's a few places in Titanic where you're like, that's not a person falling from the ship.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I remember that moment. The person that hits the propeller guy, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

We love him. That's an iconic person in that movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a few little things where you're like, I don't really buy that, but so much of it is really, really good. But it's also practical. I think that's the thing about, like, so much of what makes a special effect work is the practical effect mixed with the cgi.

[Michael Urie]

Of course I want to know that something real happened.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Like, it. I feel like I respond better to, like, even I know it's a special effect, but I know it happened kind of in reality.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something happened. It's not just, like, people in an entirely green room with green things everywhere acting with green scene partners. Something has to be real.

[Michael Urie]

Right? And I. The thing I have seen from that movie multiple times since its release is the old lady dropping the thing in the ocean. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The heart of the ocean. Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Is that the end? Is that the actual end of the movie? I don't remember from my original viewing of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you want to. You want me to tell you?

[Michael Urie]

Yes, I do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

After she drops it. So. So the whole movie, they're like, where is this diamond? Where's this big blue diamond? Turns out she's had it all along.

[Michael Urie]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now that she's told the story, she can release Jack Dawson from her heart and release the heart of the ocean into the ocean for his dead body to find.

[Michael Urie]

Okay. Because I feel like when I watch it on YouTube, it says, like, cut scene or deleted scene. I'm like, What? They originally filmed this and didn't put in the movie. That actually makes more sense to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But no, it's in there. They definitely put that in.

[Michael Urie]

I wonder if there's some other part of what I'm watching that's been deleted.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, maybe. Well, there is like a whole. I think there was a whole deleted thing of the people on the submarine. Looking at the. I think there was a lot more to that. Oh, in the original. The six hour cut.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Instead of the three hour cut.

[Michael Urie]

That's a very James Cameron of being in a submarine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yeah, he loves a submarine.

[Michael Urie]

He loves to get in one, get below the ocean.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think the final, final moment of Titanic. And those of you who haven't seen it, please plug your ears. I think you go into a fantasy sequence where she's back on the ship, young, beautiful Kate Winslet, and everyone's alive again and she gets to experience. Is that right, Anneliese? Yeah, that's right. Anneliese is nodding.

[Michael Urie]

What does she get to experience getting to port?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they make it. They make it.

[Michael Urie]

We just watch her kind of getting off the ship with her suitcase.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they make it. And then they live happily ever after. Something like that. I can't really remember, but something kind of.

[Michael Urie]

Annalise is nodding their head. Interesting. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, good.

[Michael Urie]

I've got to get back to it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Do you know what? I was also.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you know what? Sorry. Sorry.

[Michael Urie]

Please don't actually do apologize. I appreciate the apology.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just remembered, like, we have this little house here. My partner and I got this little house here. And we have. And we spent a week or two over the summer getting it ready to Airbnb before we would move here now and one of the things that we put in the house. We got some books to put in the house. We bought some books that like.

[Michael Urie]

Books that no one will ever army.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you know, like To Kill a Mockingbird and. Right, of course, Ender's Game. You know, traditional books that you find at acceleration. But we also got the double VHS of Titanic.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, that's a great Airbnb thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's on the shelf.

[Michael Urie]

Is there a VHS play? No, that's called a vcr. That's really sad for me to call it a VHS player.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There is no way I'm in the market for one of those little. I had this when I was first moved to New York, this little tv. It's a tiny TV that has a built in.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, it's a combo, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's. So if I find one, I'm getting it and I'm putting it somewhere in the house.

[Michael Urie]

A great Airbnb thing, so that you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can come to our house and watch nothing. But we do have. We also have a tv, but. But you can't play the tape now.

[Michael Urie]

Was Titanic just two VHS tapes or four?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, just the two.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, Just the two. Four would be a lot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Four would be a lot. That would be like. Yeah, I don't know. That would be like north by northwest or. No, no, no, no. That's what I mean. North and south.

[Michael Urie]

North and south.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like that's a miniseries. Could be making this up. Things are. I don't know. I don't know. Read the recesses of my brain. I'm not sure. But it's only two. And I think that the. I think the iceberg is when you switch tapes.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, that's a perfect cut.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah. Or you can stop watching right there and just assume something else happens.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's true.

[Michael Urie]

Just kind of create your own little fantasy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you could finish it. Or just think that's the end and it'd be very. Oh, sweet. They made love in a car.

[Michael Urie]

So that's why everyone talked about the Titanic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the history.

[Michael Urie]

Do you know, I was wondering about recently, I heard Oops, I Did It Again, Britney Spears song recently. And I was like, remember the part where it breaks down? And it's a very dated thing that happens where she's, like, talking to a guy about the Jewel getting dropped in the ocean. Do you remember this? There's, like, a guy. She talks to a guy and she's like, thank you for this. Didn't the old lady drop it in the ocean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yes. Right, right, right, right.

[Michael Urie]

I want to know who the guy was. Who was that actor who was the. He could be dead by now. No one knows who that named. Yeah. We should guess who could have possibly been where we.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's like 19. That's like 2,000.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah. Second album, 2,000.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Pre 9.

[Bridger Weiniger]

11. 11. So who was famous pre 9 11? I'm gonna go with, like a. I'm gonna say it's gonna be like, Scott.

[Michael Urie]

Wolf.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or, like, I don't know, Dermot Mu, who.

[Michael Urie]

Who plays. Oh, I can't even think of the CBS show. So, no, I guess Scott Wolf is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, Wiley.

[Michael Urie]

It's Noah Wiley Post. Er. He was looking after. Well, you know, it's.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You're not.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, you're far off. But it actually not. And it's actually connected in a very funny way. And it's a real. Like it's a celebrity. No. Oh, that's. That's where you're far off. But it's gonna come back to medical in a second. It's her doctor. His name. His name is Eli Swanson and was mostly a model, but then he decided.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To quit modeling and acting and he became a doctor. So many. So many stories like that.

[Michael Urie]

Of course, circling back, he became a real estate agent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Not a TV doctor, but an actual. Now supposedly doctor.

[Michael Urie]

Was that his final role? Nail in the coffin. Wow. What. Wait, what's his name? One more time? Eli. Eli Swanson. Eli, reach out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you think. Do you think a doctor turned. I mean, an actor turned doctor would have a good bedside manner?

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I think. Incredible, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

I feel like I recently. Oh, I went to a. An urgent care recently.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

The worst bedside manner I have ever experienced. This was a couple of months ago, and I had had a fever for a few days and various other things. And I went in and told him this and he. I couldn't give, like, what my temperature was. And so when he was listing my symptoms, he said, you're subjective. Fever. It's just like I've been saying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ew.

[Michael Urie]

I was like, I told you. You can just believe me. It's not that crazy of a thing to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Subjective. You think you have a fever, sir.

[Michael Urie]

Subjective.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe you just keep the heat on in your house, but I'm not convinced. Wow. That's not cool.

[Michael Urie]

Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've got a great LA urgent care doctor.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, please. Oh, wait. That you can recommend.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, I've gone two times now today.

[Michael Urie]

You're very sick.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Two times today. I'm very. I'm deathly ill. No, over the. Actually, once back in April and then once recently. Cause I don't. I live mostly in New York, but. But whenever I'm. So I don't have a doctor here.

[Michael Urie]

Right. I mean, neither do I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I've only had a doctor in New York for a few years. It was a thing that I, you know, neglected for a long time. But I was staying near this urgent care and I thought I had. I got very sick. I was very. I was not feeling well, and I was shooting this movie and I had to kiss. Spoiler. You're gonna see that if you see. I had to kiss. I'm not gonna say who. I had to kiss a very famous actor.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I was like, I think I'm sick. And it was several days away and I Thought if I'm sick, I need to get on antibiotics right away so that I'm not contagious when I have to kiss. Legendary household name.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, my God. God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Screaming now if I have Covid or strep throat. That's what I thought. I thought it was strep throat. Because I've had strep throat many times in my life as a kid. Me, kid and stuff. And I know the feeling. And I've in fact diagnosed myself to a doctor. They said, no, you don't.

[Michael Urie]

Don't take my job.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tested me, they said, you're subjective. Strep throat. And then later tested me, and later it was strep throat. And I was right all along. But this time it was not strep throat. I went to this doctor and he was so nice, and he gave me all the drugs that I could possibly have wanted, which is all I really want. I want antibiotic, I want steroid, and I want, like, something that will make me feel immediately better. And he gave me all of them. Yeah, Like a heroin shot, like, immediately. But it turned out, and this is okay now it's gross. Are you ready? This is where it gets gross. It was not strep throat. Thank God. I am prone to canker sores and have been my entire life. Really?

[Michael Urie]

Connection? Oh, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have been my entire life. If I bite myself immediately, I will definitely get a. Definitely get a canker sore. And sometimes they just come from stress or, you know, whatever. I had two canker sores. Where? On my uvula. Ah. On my.

[Michael Urie]

Oh. How did they get back there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have no idea. I have no idea.

[Michael Urie]

I didn't know that they could climb.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I basically. This has happened to me before where I've had canker sores in the back of my mouth and it has felt like sore because it makes, you know, it makes the whole area irritated.

[Michael Urie]

Right. It's very.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Felt like a sore throat situation. These were on my uvula. He looked back there and he was like. He's like, it's probably strep. You're right. You're probably right. Let me just take a look. And he looked and he was like, oh, you've got canker sores on your uvula. And that's never happened to me before. There were two of them.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I wonder how that happened.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. I don't know if it was like the uvula got scratched by some.

[Michael Urie]

You know, it had a pencil back there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That time I ate a pencil or I had my glass sandwiches I don't know, but I suddenly, like, suddenly I felt so much better knowing it was a canker sore. Because those do get better and you can medicate them. Well, I do, yes. Actually, if you get them, I have a pretty good remedy.

[Michael Urie]

I would love to hear this. I mean, share it with the listener.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's called canker. I think it's called canker. Rid canker. And it's made of bee pollen.

[Michael Urie]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I get it online.

[Michael Urie]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And my mother found it for me years ago because. Because I always suffered from them. And nothing that you can get at CVS or Walgreens really does the trick. It might numb it, but it doesn't really make it better. But this stuff, it stains everything it touches. It's black and it's a black liquid and it stains everything it touches. So it'll get. If you have it near your teeth, it'll get all over your teeth, all over your fingers and your hands. But it really does the trick. If you start using it as soon as you get a canker sore, it will not run its course.

[Michael Urie]

And you just kind of apply it with your finger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It has a tip. So I just sort of use the tip or I douse a Q tip.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For the uvula. I was so far back there, I doused a Q tip and I just like jammed it back there, but immediately started feeling better. Of course, the steroids helped.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think he gave me steroids then.

[Michael Urie]

See, this is the thing about urgent care doctors. They will give you whatever I mean, they're going to lead to when there's like this super bacteria that we can't destroy. It will be because of urgent care doctors.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Michael Urie]

They will give anybody whatever drug they want antibiotics. Sure, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You want.

[Michael Urie]

Just drive by and they'll throw it into your car.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. You want to steroid and hear it, go for it. Whereas your real doctor, your normal doctor will be like, I gave you a steroid six years ago. You're not getting another one. Or like begging them. Yeah, yeah. Like, I gave you a Z pack once, once in 2013. I can't give it to you again. But. But, you know, an urgent care. They don't. They don't.

[Michael Urie]

Well, they don't think they'll ever see you again. They think you're going to die at home. And, yeah, you're the problem for them. It's solved.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But what they don't know is they're creating, like a cult.

[Michael Urie]

Mutants.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And I'm gonna go back to Dr. This Dr. Every time I'M sick in Los Angeles because I know he'll give me. And he's really sweet. Back to Bedside Manor. He's really sweet.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah, he was nice. I can't believe. I mean, imagine if you could have given and this will get beeped. Strep throat. That would have been a career high for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, but what if you kill him? I mean, this is the other thing. Like.

[Michael Urie]

Like legendary, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What if I kill legendary household name with my strep throat? What if he's like, you know, like, he's just one strep throat away from death? I also, like, I work with Harrison Ford on this show shrinking.

[Michael Urie]

You could have killed so many.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think anything. Anything's gonna kill Harrison Ford. But he's been in literal.

[Michael Urie]

That's true. He has been in literal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Plane crashes. I mean, I think I hear him crashing right now.

[Michael Urie]

He's gonna crash in my backyard. Harrison, welcome to the podcast. You finally answer our call.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But my first job. I remember my first job. I think it was my first or second job during the pandemic before things were happening when they would do jobs and everybody was, like, in hazmat suits.

[Michael Urie]

Very weird sets at that weird time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, really weird.

[Michael Urie]

It's very like that moment in E.T. when the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Peter Coyote.

[Michael Urie]

Yes. Okay, continue. I'm sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Peter Coyote, the first. That's such a good movie.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, it's great movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. Peter Coyote is the only man whose adult man whose face you see in that whole movie.

[Michael Urie]

Or that can't be true. This is Muppet Babies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or. Or you don't see an adult man until that point. It might be that.

[Michael Urie]

Really? It must be that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It might be that. But there is a cut scene from E.T. with Harrison Ford as his principal. I think he's the principal.

[Michael Urie]

No way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At Elliott School.

[Michael Urie]

How did they get rid of that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

They cut it, I think, because they decided they didn't want see any people. Any. Any men. Any adult men.

[Michael Urie]

And Harrison Ford didn't want to get typecast as an educator. Right, right, Right after, of course, Mr. Indiana.

[Bridger Weiniger]

After Dr. Jones.

[Michael Urie]

Dr. Jones.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But. But the second job I had when we. I think it was the first. Second job I had during COVID Super Lockdown. Still, you know, only outdoor restaurants, things like that. Was this competition reality show that I hosted called Clipped. I'm sure you saw it.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I was watching before you got here about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was basically Top Chef or the British Bake off, but with topiary artists.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I actually love this idea. Okay, this is great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the Head judge was Martha Stewart.

[Michael Urie]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I. So here I am on the set with Martha Stewart during long before the vaccine and during super Covid times. And I was like, what if I. And I was fine. I never got Covid. And I was very careful. I wasn't going anywhere. And I was like, what if I killed Martha Stewart? What if I give Martha Stewart Covid and she dies from it?

[Michael Urie]

And she's demanding a kiss from everyone on set.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She kiss everyone. Do you wanna hear a funny Martha Stewart anecdote?

[Michael Urie]

I mean, no, let's move on. I want nothing to do with Martha Stewart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She. I have two. I really like her.

[Michael Urie]

I mean. Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And she was cool. I got a real kick out of her. So we had never met, but she. Well, we sort of met, but she would never have remembered. But she had been on an episode of Ugly Betty, which I was on, and she filmed it. It was a phone call. It was basically my. So I played Vanessa Williams assistant, and Vanessa Williams, her character was sort of like Anna Wintour.

[Michael Urie]

Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And so she knew everybody. And so she was like, I need a recipe. I'll call Martha Stewart. And she calls. She just like picks up the phone and calls Martha Stewart. And they shot Martha on her now defunct talk show. They just went and shot her there. And she's literally on the set of her talk show and she answers the phone and it's so stupid, but I mean, it must have taken her six minutes to shot.

[Michael Urie]

Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I wasn't gonna bring that up as something that, you know, I was gonna bring. I was. I was gonna make small, you know, if small talk came up, I wasn't gonna be like, remember Ugly Betty? Because I was sure she wouldn't to.

[Michael Urie]

Have to insist that she remembers. No, you remember Martha.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, you remember Martha. But. So we're sitting during some downtime, and she asked me about myself very kindly. She's like, so, what shows have you been on? And I was like, well, I was on this show, Ugly Betty, and I thought, well, maybe I'll mention it now. I was on the show Ugly Betty, and before I can. She goes, oh, I was on Ugly Betty. I still get checks.

[Michael Urie]

What Martha is aware of her residual checks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's. Can you believe that?

[Michael Urie]

That's incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Martha. And this is like this one episode of Ugly Betty is not. I mean, you're gonna get some residual.

[Michael Urie]

Checks, but, like, at this point, she's probably getting like $50 a year or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe. Yeah, like, maybe. And. And she knows. Wow, can you imagine how many checks Martha Stewart must get?

[Michael Urie]

Endless.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She opens them all. She knew, wow.

[Michael Urie]

Unless things have really dried up, she's counting on that Ugly Betty residual.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She was shooting three shows at once during the pandemic. Like, I don't think, you know, she was literally two shows at the same time while we were doing this.

[Michael Urie]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In September of 2020.

[Michael Urie]

That is remarkable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Crazy. And then the other one was the first day of shooting. We were shooting in Tarrytown, New York. You know where that is? It's sort of like just below Westchester, 45 minutes outside the city.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, great. Charming.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm sure, Char. Super charming. At this big, beautiful castle. We were shooting, you know, on the grounds. Everything was outside, you know, very Covid. But after lunch on the first day, I had lunch in my trailer or whatever. I said, she didn't have a trailer. She had. There was like a house on the proper. That was her trailer. And she had a driver. And, you know, after lunch, I said, what'd you do for lunch? And she said, oh, we took a drive and we went and looked at Sing Sing, which is a prison that's right over there.

[Michael Urie]

What an interesting thing for Martha to be doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that what ex cons do? They go and look at other prisons?

[Michael Urie]

It's kind of like looking at houses, you know, just like when you're a homeowner or like, curiosity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you're at a bookstore and you see a book you own, you pick it up.

[Michael Urie]

For some reason, you're now an enthusiast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I do that. And if I'm at a bookstore and I see a book I own, I think, oh, look at this. I own this. It's the same book at home, but I have to look at it.

[Michael Urie]

Wow. Martha's life. I mean, truly. God bless the prison. Every element of it. I'm like, this woman is incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now she's 80 and never been hotter.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, she looks fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She looks amazing. Got wine with Snoop Dogg.

[Michael Urie]

Oh. The way she's taken control of her life post prison has been just so remarkable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

It's cool to go look at Sing Sing. And what is that you drive up to, like, a chain link fence and watch the prisoners work out?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess. Yeah, yeah. You're like, that's a high wall. I don't know. What do you. What do you. What do you learn?

[Michael Urie]

Snipers in their towers. I don't know. Wow. And that's what she did for lunch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what she did for lunch.

[Michael Urie]

That's the Martha Stewart diet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It. Let's Go for a drive.

[Michael Urie]

You go look at prisons. Wow. Those are both incredible stories.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

My Martha Stewart stories all day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my Martha Stewart days were pretty. Pretty great.

[Michael Urie]

Was your family a Martha Stewart family?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no. I didn't discover Martha until, I mean, you know, like, my first real, like, memory of Martha was probably when she was on Ugly Betty. And, you know, she was pretty big at that time. I can't remember when she went to prison, if that was before or after. But she's always been famous. And you remember she was after, I think, her own Apprentice.

[Michael Urie]

Of course. I mean, and now look, we got the worst possible host of the Apprentices president. What if we had gotten Martha Stewart?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can you imagine?

[Michael Urie]

Different story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We would look terrific. This country would look terrific.

[Michael Urie]

Sparkling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a great clip that I've seen, like, on TikTok or whatever when Joan Rivers was on Martha Stewart's show, and it's this hilarious. I can't remember. I'm gonna butcher it. But basically, Joan's doing a bit, and she's like, somebody sent me a gift. It was Trump steaks. And Martha immediately goes, ew, disgusting. Or something like that. And Joan said, I know I can't eat Trump. Joan's bit was about how she thought Trump steaks were made of Trump. So clever.

[Michael Urie]

I love.

[Bridger Weiniger]

God, she was funny, wasn't she?

[Michael Urie]

Incredible. Wait, was she on the original Martha Stewart? What were they doing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. Cooking. It was Martha Stewart's talk show.

[Michael Urie]

Okay. The talk show I've been. I went to the talk show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You did?

[Michael Urie]

When I was interning at Letterman, I think that's right. My mom came and visited, and we went and saw Martha Stewart Live. I think that's right. Wow. Went and waited in line and then went in. Or. I. That's just a fantasy that I always wanted to happen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It seems like it really happened. So she shot that in New York. Yeah, that makes sense. What was Letterman like? I loved Letterman.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, I adore. I'm obsessed with David Letterman to this day. It was a dream, and it was also a complete nightmare.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Being an intern there was like being hazed by a frat every single day. Oh, wow. I worked in their writer's department, and there was some real negative qualities to it. I mean, the atmosphere of that show was so bad. I mean, I have to imagine Dave would at this point be like, oh, yeah, it was not a healthy work environment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

But I got to be on the show. I like the whole. I got to play Alan Coulter's son.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, wow.

[Michael Urie]

Can you imagine, Rip, One of my favorite announcers ever. He died a last year, a couple of years ago.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was the guy. He was great. You kind of look like.

[Michael Urie]

He has red hair. He had red hair.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Michael Urie]

And he had a lot of bits on the show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was hilarious.

[Michael Urie]

He was so funny. He was really, really a funny man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was old.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah, he was probably. Well, I think he was probably when he died, maybe in his late 70s or the 80s. So not that. But yeah. I got to play his son twice on the show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How fun.

[Michael Urie]

I looked into Dave's eyes during one of those bits. I felt like my entire insides turned to ashes. I was so scared, just terrified. But that part of the experience was wonderful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Michael Urie]

Every other element was hell. I was eating crackers for lunch. I had no money. It was just awful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But their office is there in the Ed Sullivan Theater.

[Michael Urie]

But thank God. I mean, I don't think I would be sitting here right now if I didn't do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, Ryan was on. My partner. Ryan did a bit on Letterman once.

[Michael Urie]

What? What did he do?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was so cool. He called. He was like, my commercial agent just called, and I'm supposed to go over to Letterman to do a bit, and there was no audition. He just, like, got picked.

[Michael Urie]

Right, Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I was like, what, are you kidding? He was so nonchalant about it. I was like. And I was a big fan. I watched Letterman when I was in college, and I had my little TV VCR combo. I would watch Letterman every night. And I was like, this is the coolest thing you've ever done. You're doing a bit with Letterman. Tell me everything. And he was like, I don't know. It's like, I'm supposed to be like, I'm gonna be in a suit, and I'm like a young executive. And I just walk out in the middle of his monologue and I put a name tag on him and then I say. He goes. He says, what's this for? And I say, couldn't hurt. Might help. And then I walk off and I was like, that is a classic Letterman bit. It's so good. You say. He said, I'm from the network. And. And I was like, that's. And he's like, is it funny? Okay, cool. I was like, you don't understand. It's so funny. It's so good. You're going to be. It's going to be.

[Michael Urie]

It's going to kill those interruptions. I lived for.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God, I. And he didn't. He had no Idea. He never watched Letterman. He'd never seen this.

[Michael Urie]

Wow. Of course. This is how it always is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And he was like. He was like. I didn't even gaze eyes on him until I was on TV in front of him.

[Michael Urie]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, they just said I would melt.

[Michael Urie]

I would need a lot of prep before that happened.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think if it had been me, I would have. I also. I would have been so nervous and so anxious, but because he didn't really have any right. He just went and did it. It's on his reel. And he, like, takes the name tag off, and he smacks it on his chest. And, like, Letterman's, like, old and frail even then. He was like. And Ryan said, when I smacked him in his chest, I thought I was gonna break him.

[Michael Urie]

He kills him on stage. You two are out for our older celebrities. You're both trying to kill all of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're goners.

[Michael Urie]

Wow. Well, I mean, speaking of putting people in danger and kind of just being a nuisance in general, I was really excited to have you here today, Michael. I thought. I adore Michael. We'll have a lovely time. We'll record something. Who knows what it is, but it'll be nice. And then he'll leave. So I was a little surprised. I would say I was borderline upset.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Michael Urie]

When you nearly ran over my neighbor's dogs, then showed up late holding what's obviously a gift. Oh, yeah, the podcast. I mean, what's the title of the podcast, Michael? I want to hear you say it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You said no gifts.

[Michael Urie]

I said no gifts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, right.

[Michael Urie]

So I'm wondering. There's this little pink box sitting here on the table. Gorgeous. There's no denying that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sorry, I misunderstood.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, so it was an ignorance.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's totally my bad.

[Michael Urie]

Lack of education.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what? Why don't I just take it with me? I'll return it to whence it came. Unless you want to just see what it is. If you'd like to open it. I mean, it is very inviting.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, it is. There's a temptation here from me. Maybe if you don't mind, I'll open it here on the podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You might as well open it. I think you should open it.

[Michael Urie]

Okay. We're both doing something a little tacky here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I chose hot pink for the box, so, like, I was. I. I was, like, from the beginning.

[Michael Urie]

Stunning.

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[Bridger Weiniger]

Asking the right questions can greatly impact your future, especially when it comes to your finances. So if you're looking for a financial advisor you can trust, certified financial planner professionals are committed to acting in your best interest. That's why it's gotta be a CFP. Find your CFP [e-mail] oh, it's a lovely color.

[Michael Urie]

Blinding pink. I wonder how I even open this. It's kind of like a trick.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I think you pull that. Yeah. You just untie.

[Michael Urie]

Oh. Then it kind of drops and then it explodes. Oh. And then wait.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Is that the top?

[Michael Urie]

No, it's. The top was opened in a way that is deeply confusing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that is weird.

[Michael Urie]

We've got some kind of Easter grass.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah. Pull it out and then.

[Michael Urie]

Is there something in the Easter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It must be in there. Yeah, it must be in there. Unless it ate It.

[Michael Urie]

There's a measuring tape in here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right.

[Michael Urie]

A ikea. To find this in this beautiful box is absolutely ideal. This was the perfect box for this IKEA measuring tape. Okay. Why did you bring this? This is actually very handy for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Michael Urie]

I'm constantly measuring.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know this about you because I'm a fan of the podcast. I know that you lost all of your measuring tapes.

[Michael Urie]

Threw them all out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you threw them out. You got rid of them. You said, no more.

[Michael Urie]

I couldn't have them in my home anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I heard the. The Paul Rubens episode.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, sure. Which is rip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which is rip. Tragic. But I will say it's one of the best episodes of a podcast I've ever listened to.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, that makes me so happy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is. So if listener. I'm sure you already heard it, but if you haven't, it's so good. You're terrific. Paul is so funny. It's actually, like, devastating to hear him so recently be so brilliant.

[Michael Urie]

He was just constantly funny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So funny, so inventive. I adored it. I wanted to listen to it again. But in it, at some point, I can't remember how it came up. You said that you had lost all of your measuring tapes, and I thought it was some kind of, like, measuring tape bandit that came to your house and took them all. Well, you were talking about yardsticks. That's what it was. Oh.

[Michael Urie]

Cause it was already familiar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was in the game, I think. And yardstick was one of the gifts for a celebrity. Something like that.

[Michael Urie]

Okay. Yes, yes, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you said that it's made of metal, hopefully not plastic. And Paul said, well, you can get one made of cloth or tape from ikea. And I'm.

[Michael Urie]

This is incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have been carrying this measuring tape around with me for the last month because we have this house in la, right? And it's tiny, and so we have to measure everything that we buy within the last inch.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I picked one of these up at ikea. He described the IKEA free measuring tape.

[Michael Urie]

Imagine Paul Rubins in ikea.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, that's the thing. I immediately started to imagine him taking these because they're free. I'm sure he has many of them. I'm sure he had many of them in a drawer somewhere.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, yeah. I mean, he gave me essentially his junk drawer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A smorgasbord.

[Michael Urie]

I can't believe I didn't get one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of these from him because he needed them so badly. What he didn't know is that you did, too. And so now you have this.

[Michael Urie]

Wow. This is really a full circle thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've literally been carrying this around for the last month since I got to Los Angeles in my jean jacket pocket.

[Michael Urie]

That's a very cool thing to have in a jean jacket. Just be prepared.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it was great. And I wear that jean. I'm not wearing it today, but I wear that jean jacket most days. And so as soon as I heard that, I thought, that'll be the gift that I bring Bridger. And I went and found it. And anyway, here it is. So.

[Michael Urie]

It's so weird because I was just a couple of days ago, thinking about Paul. Like a very recent thing, thinking about him. I don't know why, but. Yeah, what incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I think about him all the time. He was. He was so magical.

[Michael Urie]

Just one of the all times.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just a complete original.

[Michael Urie]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And also somebody, you know, I mean, he talked about. He was in some movies. You know, he did things not as Pee Wee and was great, always.

[Michael Urie]

Like a FBI agent in Matilda.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Amazing. Great, amazing. And he gave you fake money from the movie Blow. Of course. He was like a vampire. And Buffy and the vampires there, right? Penguin's parents. And Batman.

[Michael Urie]

I forgot about Penguin's parents.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oswald Cobblepot, father. So, like, you know, like. And of course, Pee Wee. And I always, you know, since I was a kid, thought that he hung the moon. And I never met him, but he was a hero. And when he died, my dear friend Becky Newton, who was on Ugly Betty with me, we shared a love of Pee Wee forever. She sent me a giant doll of Pee Wee.

[Michael Urie]

No. How big is it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's huge. It's probably a yardstick tall, but I have it in New York. And I mean, like, he really was just so important.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, big adventure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Absolutely.

[Michael Urie]

Truly a perfect movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A completely perfect movie.

[Michael Urie]

I never saw Big Top.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Big Top was not as good, but it was also very fun.

[Michael Urie]

We should revisit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then he remounted his. His stage show.

[Michael Urie]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I saw it. Did you see it on Broadway? Yeah, I saw it on Broadway. It was fantastic.

[Michael Urie]

When that was like in the tens. The teens.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I would say the 10. I went with Ryan. So it was post. It was probably like nine or ten.

[Michael Urie]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ryan. I have been together since eight, so probably like ten.

[Michael Urie]

And what was the show?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was Pee Wee's Playhouse.

[Michael Urie]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Curtain went up and there it was.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, my God. Amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was incredible. Cherry.

[Michael Urie]

What a shame.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, the mailman came by, like the little wizard guy. That's just a head oh, yeah.

[Michael Urie]

That scared me until I was old enough for it not to scare me anymore. But, yeah, a. An uncanny, weird element to that. That, yeah. Was very eerie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But they had the foil ball and. And, you know, the word of the day and all that stuff. And it was. We went on Christmas Day.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, what a perfect Christmas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wonderful.

[Michael Urie]

And Paul loved holidays.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There you go. Absolutely.

[Michael Urie]

Well, as far as measuring goes, are you. Do you. I feel like I'm pretty good at estimating time, but spatially, I'm so bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can be. I can. Yeah, I'm. I'm with you. I'm not great at it. That's why I need to. You know, Ryan. We actually have this rug in our house that Ryan and I fought every time we would be out. I'd say, well, that rug is not this size. He's like, no, it is. And I'd be like, no, that's definitely not. And he's like, I promise you. And then we'd go home. And this happened several times. He'd go home and remeasure it. And he was always right and I was always wrong. And I'd be like, God, I sure thought it was more than 5ft.

[Michael Urie]

Were you heading out rug shopping without the measurements?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of, yeah. Oh, I mean, this is another problem.

[Michael Urie]

This feels like an obvious mistake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And we would go back and try to find like, the email receipt to.

[Michael Urie]

See if it had the course. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But he was pretty confident. It was my. It was really on me. I was the one who was skeptical about how. How big that.

[Michael Urie]

Well, it's also. I just got a kitchen rug. And even if you have their measurements, I don't think it helps. Once you get into your house, it's always like, oh, that's way too big.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It still looks small. Exactly. It's still. Yeah, it doesn't really matter.

[Michael Urie]

Right. And then you're trapped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And we were in a. We're in this. We have this tiny house. It's 580 square feet.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, that's very, very small. That's a very small house.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like an actual tiny house.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And we've lived in apartments. So, like, I actually love small houses.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, so nice to just be able to look at everything and have everything under control.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. I actually quite like being in small places. And we got all this tiny furniture to fill this tiny house. And we were Airbnb it for the. For all of the fall before I came back to shoot shrinking. And. And it was adorable. All these tiny little things. And it was a tiny little house. And then we got there to live there and I was like, oh, this is awful. This is the worst couch I've ever sat on. Like, I can't possibly sit in this chair.

[Michael Urie]

You just have these horrible reviews on Airbnb. Where are these coming from?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, these. I don't understand what's wrong with sitting on a tuk.

[Michael Urie]

This place is jail.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So we started looking for. And then there's this show we like to watch. I don't know if you guys do this, but if it's the end of the night and, like, we're not quite ready for bed, but we aren't ready to start a new TV show.

[Michael Urie]

Don't have the energy for a plot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, don't have the energy for a plot. Our go to is my lottery dream home.

[Michael Urie]

I knew you were going to say this. You mentioned this to me a couple of months ago and I have started watching it. Jim and I have. I adore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my gosh. David Tattooed David is the greatest.

[Michael Urie]

Watching his transformation throughout the series is fascinating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And if you watch later seasons where he's covered in tattoos, the credits are still from season one where he doesn't have any tattoos. Oh, weird. Yeah. So you see him like, imagine winning the lottery and he has no tattoos. But then it cuts to him in Memphis or wherever, meeting the people and he's like, basically like face tattoos. I mean, he's covered in tattoos now.

[Michael Urie]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love him. He said something on an episode that we were watching recently in our tiny little home, sitting on our tiny little couch, on our tiny little sofa and toothpick chairs. They were looking at a small room that had a big couch in it. And he said, he walked in and they were like, oh, I love this room. I love this couch. And he's like, that's right. When you have a small room, big furniture makes it feel bigger. And I thought, that's totally crazy.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah, that feels like the opposite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it's true. Really. We got like a proper couch for our tiny house and it now feels. It's a totally different, different place.

[Michael Urie]

I would think the exact opposite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Me too. Isn't that mind blowing? David, from my lottery dream home of.

[Michael Urie]

My lottery dream home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's totally true. If you have a small place, put a big piece in there and it will make it feel bigger. And in fact, we are putting. We're building a tiny office in the tiny backyard of our tiny house and we've decided that our horrible tiny couch is going to go there. It's fine if you're just like sitting at a tent. It's when you want to relax in any way that it doesn't work.

[Michael Urie]

It's causing back problems.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So, like, to be an office couch. It's gonna be fine.

[Michael Urie]

Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

But. But it's not ready yet. So right now we have our new normal size couch and our tiny, awkward.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, no. How are you getting around the house?

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it all fits.

[Michael Urie]

It fits. You're finding out some interesting things about this space.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. So, like all these years of living in tiny spaces, thinking you need tiny furniture. I was wrong. A tiny place can sustain a big piece of furniture.

[Michael Urie]

Where did you get the big couch?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Court.

[Michael Urie]

Court. C O R T. C O R T. How do I know that? I guess I've just done a lot of furniture shopping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's a famous furniture.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, My lottery dream home. Let's get back to this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've got finally. God, I've been dying to talk about this.

[Michael Urie]

This show is so interesting to watch because. Because it's. Whenever I think lottery, I'm like endless money. But then there will be episodes where the person has not won enough to even buy a house. And so it's like, whatever. It feels very like. It feels like there's a lot of stretching to describe what a lottery is like. I feel like I'm gonna be watching an episode, they're gonna be like, I won $20 on a scratcher and I'd.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like to buy this house. What kind of house? A Barbie house. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And sometimes it's inheritance. Have you seen one like that? No.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, so. Well, that's really pushing a little bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, it's season 30 or something. And also, you know, I mean, it's.

[Michael Urie]

Kind of dark to ca. Your inheritance a lottery winning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I guess it isn't quite.

[Michael Urie]

Mom died in a slip and let's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Celebrate and she never spent a dime on herself. So now we get it all. Yeah. My favorite is when somebody does win a big amount, when it's. Because there's always a moment where he's like, so how much did you win? And they tell. And then he's like, and how much are you giving me to work with to find you? Because the premise of the show, listener, is that. That David comes to your town and he shows you three homes in a.

[Michael Urie]

Very flowy outfit in a gorgeous flower.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Year and flower year turning heads in whatever small town he's in, and he shows you three possible homes and you have to pick one. And then they come back six months later when you haven't yet moved In. And they do a pretend. It's great here. But he'll ask at the beginning, how much did you win? And then he'll say, how much? How much is your budget? How much are you giving me to work with? Is what he says. And my favorite is when they're like, we won $10 million. And he's like, oh, my God, that's amazing. And what's your budget? And they're like, 300,000.

[Michael Urie]

We will not be using the money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We won't be using the money. And so suddenly he's like, they're like, we'd like at least one bathroom. And you see his face, like, you see him die on one side. He gets so excited. Like, I'm going to be able to find a mansion for these people. And then like, okay, you're getting a trailer.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah. There's a lot of things on the show like that where I'm like, oh, this is confusing. Yeah, I see the word lottery, and I think we're just going for it, right? Frequently.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no. It's model homes or, you know, like. But it's still so exciting. And it's fun to, like, try and guess what they're gonna. What they're gonna pick.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I love. Are you good at guessing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I'm usually wrong. I'm usually wrong. I'm often surprised Ryan's better at it than I am. He's like, they're not gonna do that because they to want. Want split level. Or they're not going to do that because they need a backyard. And I'm like, I wasn't really paying attention. Maybe I missed that part.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah, I'm. I feel like I'm pretty good at guessing on House Hunters, but that's because I kind of know the tricks of how they produce that show at this point. Oh, which are they? Like, basically, you have to have closed on the house before they let you on the show. So, like, the houses that actually look lived in and have furniture, those are just houses they've found that won't be purchased. It's usually the ones that look like some, like, very temporary or, like, you can tell that it's a house that's going to be moved into rather than one that's being lived in. Right. So. But on Lottery Dream Home, there's no telling what's going to happen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's anyone's guess.

[Michael Urie]

Yes. It's truly anyone's guess.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

And the people are always interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, they are. And, well, people who play the lottery. I mean, it's. It's It's a. It's a special kind of person who plays lottery. I don't know if you play the lottery.

[Michael Urie]

I don't play the lottery.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't. I don't gamble. Well, Annalise, do you play the lottery?

[Michael Urie]

Annelise is hooked. I'm trying to get them to stop. The money is just vanishing. I mean, here's the deal. I'm terrified of winning because then suddenly all of your relationship dynamics change.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally.

[Michael Urie]

You'd have to tell no one. You'd have to, like, move, and I.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Don'T want any of that.

[Michael Urie]

I'm ready for the lottery to ruin my life, just destroy all my relationships. I'm happy to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What would you do if you won the lottery?

[Michael Urie]

Well, first, I'd go on my lottery dream home. That's the only reason I want to win the lottery.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Lottery.

[Michael Urie]

I don't care about the financial freedom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to meet David.

[Michael Urie]

Let me meet David. Is there no other way for me? What would I do if I won the lottery? I. I. Unfortunately, because it's a mental illness of mine. I wouldn't change anything. I simply would spend no more money. Right. I would just sit in a bank account and everyone would resent me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Michael Urie]

I would, kind of. That's how I would ruin relationships. Because it'd be like, Bridger has so much money, and he's doing nothing new with it. He's not buying us better things. He's not solving any of our problems. He's just continues to worry about money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

What would you do?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I also. I'm a. I'm a Keep a. Keep money under my mattress kind of a guy, too. But I do think I would take care of my parents.

[Michael Urie]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And, like, colleges for nephews and nieces and things.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then I. I would. I. Because we have a little apartment in a. In a little house. I want. I want a big house. I want someday. I definitely want someday to be able to furniture shop without.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, can you imagine not think about a price to just be like, oh, I like how that looks. And it doesn't matter now. It's mine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And I don't need a tape measure because it doesn't matter. The house is big enough for anything.

[Michael Urie]

We need to actually make sure that it's not small. Too small for the house.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Exactly. Exactly. So I think that's probably where I would go. I would. I would. I would. But I wouldn't do anything outrageous.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, like cars. I don't really care about cars.

[Michael Urie]

No. They mean nothing. To me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And I don't need, like, I like to travel, but I wouldn't need to travel extravagantly. I think. I think I would travel more, but I would, you know, still travel modestly. I don't need to, you know, but I think set up my family and a big house.

[Michael Urie]

I would probably buy a new doormat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's.

[Michael Urie]

And that's like a slightly bigger, better doormat. That would be the shift in my life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay. Do you have a small doormat?

[Michael Urie]

I think it's too small. I like it because it's. It's like, doesn't get soaked in the rain. Like, it. It's like kind of a weird plastic or something, like, because we had one of those natural fiber ones and it was just soaked all the time. So this one is good for the rain, but I think it's too small for the space and I think it looks ridiculous. But I'm not willing to change.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Change.

[Michael Urie]

I'm waiting to win the lottery. My. My lottery. Dream door match.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Imagine the look on David's face when he says, what do you win? And you're like, 15 million. And then he's like, and what's your budget? And you're like, $30. What? Oh, I don't want a house. I'm just looking for a doormat.

[Michael Urie]

That's what he has a suicide pill for. He just dies right on the show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you could just like, imagine when the cameras stop rolling. He goes over to a producer and he. He's like, I flew all the way here. I'm staying in a car.

[Michael Urie]

This wasn't supposed to be my career. Where did this guy come from?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I also love on that show when he goes to the local realtors.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, anytime we get a local realtor involved. House hunters International House Hunters. I love these people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And he's like. He's like, come here, give me a hug. Give me some sugar. And you can see they can tell, like, that person hasn't hugged anyone in years. Or like, this is not a hugging town.

[Michael Urie]

I wonder how they track down those people. People. What is the casting process for a realtor on a reality show where the realtor is not actually involved?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, good question. Last night, I was actually at the Artios Awards, which is the casting director's Oscars. Now the casting directors have an Oscar 2026 coming around. There will be a casting director Oscar, which is very exciting. It was very exciting last night to be there because this is the first time they've all gathered since the news. But there was A reality show category. Oh, of course. Because there's casting for.

[Michael Urie]

Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But my lottery Dream Home is not nominated.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, no, that's got a sting. I wonder if it's ever been nominated.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. I don't know. But I would nominate them.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, it's like basically the only reality show I watch, so I probably wouldn't be a good judge.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, they have two viewers right here. That's, I mean, something. Absolutely somebody cares about it. I mean, there are also a thousand seasons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So many seasons.

[Michael Urie]

We're getting into parents dying and leaving money and calling that a lottery. So obviously there's plenty of episodes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love that. You can hear a school here.

[Michael Urie]

Oh yeah, we're getting the announcements right now. We'll get children screaming, children laughing. What else do we get? Sometimes they'll have like music playing. Fun, upbeat, like Bruno Mars music. I don't know what they're doing over there. But the thing is, I have no idea what the school schedule is because we'll go, go. It'll be like Tuesday through Thursday, silence and then suddenly there's noise on a Friday. I'm like, wow, this is not a normal school.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or maybe they're punished during the week and then they're let loose on Friday.

[Michael Urie]

In cages up there. Yeah, I don't know what's going on there, but I get a little bit of elementary school happening.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a fun almost every day. Kids laughing is the kids laughing.

[Anneliese Nelson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

Asking the right questions can greatly impact your future, especially when it comes to your finances. So if you're looking for a financial advisor you can trust, Certified financial planner professionals are committed to acting in your best interest. That's why it's gotta be a CFP. Find your CFP professional at letsmakeaplan.org Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Anyway, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Michael Urie]

See full [e-mail] I think it's time to play a game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, finally.

[Michael Urie]

I've been waiting for this, Annalise. I think it's gift or a curse. Oh, I'm so good at. Well, I mean, yeah, I'm not that good at anything. What are we talking about? I need a number between one and ten from you, Mike. Cool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Eight.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, I need to do some light calculating, so right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microphone. I'll be right back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My lottery dream home is a show that you can find on Max. There are dozens and dozens of seasons. The host, David, is delightful and tattooed to the wazoo. It's a great show. I also just recently watched the latest seasons of Fargo and True Detective and love them, albeit there is some faulty reindeer CGI in one of them. But those shows are terrific. Great performances from the two leading detectives on True Detective. And Juno Temple, famous for Ted Lasso is brilliant on Fargo. And then also. When's this coming out?

[Anneliese Nelson]

March 21st.

[Bridger Weiniger]

March 21st. If you are listening to this on March 21st and you are anywhere in the tri state area, you have two more weeks to go see Spamalot on Broadway, which is the greatest show ever. I was in it with Bridger's partner Jimmy Smagula. And it is closing early, sadly, but it is, I promise you, the most fun you'll have on Broadway. So go check it out.

[Michael Urie]

Excellent. What a shame about Spamalot. What a fun show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know.

[Michael Urie]

You were so good in it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Michael Urie]

Jim's so good in it. Leslie's so good in it. Everybody's great in it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Brilliant. James Monroe Iglehart plays King Arthur and he's phenomenal.

[Michael Urie]

He's wonderful. Taryn Killam was wonderful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, Taran, former podcast guest.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah, he was on pre Spamalot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now Alex Brightman is playing Lancelot. Christopher Fitzgerald, one of the greatest musical comedy actors of all time.

[Michael Urie]

So good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Plays Patsy. And it's just a wonderful show. It is non stop laughs and it's playing at the St. James Theater through I think April 9th is the last show.

[Michael Urie]

Pure entertainment. Go see Just a fun time. And yeah, again, thank you for apologizing about this cartoon reindeer at the beginning of True Detective. I was really upset by that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When you saw that, were you like, is this a Christmas show?

[Michael Urie]

It felt like, where's Tim Allen? He's gonna be. I was, I was honestly shocked. I was thinking this is the first thing I'm seeing in your TV show and it's the most phony looking CGI caribou or whatever. Throw a few extra dollars towards the caribou.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, maybe it's hard to. To get trained caribou.

[Michael Urie]

Well, I don't care.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't care.

[Michael Urie]

Then get another trained animal trained. Have trained dogs running through the snow with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

With antlers.

[Michael Urie]

With antlers. Very Grinch than we are in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean Jim Cameron would have done it. Jim Cameron would do it. You can do it. HBO or whatever. Whatever that.

[Michael Urie]

Michael. This is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'll name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are objectively true answers. There are no subjective fevers here. Let's get into this. Number one, this is from a listener named Annika or Anika. A N, N, I K A. How do I feel? Anika.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'd say Anika or Annika?

[Michael Urie]

Anika.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Annika.

[Michael Urie]

You could go in any direction with that name. So I think Anika. There we go. Of course, that was the obvious.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's Anika.

[Michael Urie]

They've suggested Gift or a curse. When fitness trainers want you to yell during their class.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Curse.

[Michael Urie]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, not everyone needs to speak at the gym. When I'm at the gym, I don't want to talk. I don't even want to say, no, I'm not using that machine. When someone says, are you using this machine? I don't want to talk to anybody at the gym. I'm there to do my thing. This is actually a problem in New York. I know way more people in New York than I do in la. So this doesn't happen here, but in New York. I've lived in New York since 1999. I know too many people and it's too small of a place.

[Michael Urie]

Very small.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I run in the same circles as people who go to the gym and they're Always there. And sometimes I go to the gym. If I'm going to the gym for, like, a short period of time, I'm like, I can't. I just can't run into you right now.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nothing's happened since yesterday when we had the same conversation at the fly machine. And I've got nothing more to say to you. I like you, but there's nothing. There's. And I avoid people at the gym. If I see somebody I know, even people I know well, I will avoid them.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, that sounds horrifying to me to run into somebody you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Oh. And it happened. And at the gym I go to, there's so many people. I mean, it's like. And Ryan and I always joke, there's so many people that we know at the gym and like, like, sort of Broadway, famous Broadway. And it's like, it's gotten so bad that I avoid Bernadette Peters at the gym.

[Michael Urie]

She will not leave you alone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She wants to talk between every set. And I love her. I mean, I'm obsessed with her. I'm going to see her in concert tomorrow. But I can't talk. I can't talk. I'm busy listening. I'm busy listening to I said no gifts, and I'm on my third set, and I can't talk to you, Bernadette.

[Michael Urie]

Peter, this is kind of the ultimate weightlifting podcast. Really pumps people up, high energy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I actually, what was. I think I was. It was some funny GIF of Bernadette or something like that, and I sent it to Ryan. Gif or gif.

[Michael Urie]

Wow. Interesting. I love to hear somebody naturally say jif, because I say gif, but, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think GIF is hard.

[Michael Urie]

It didn't feel intense. It felt like you are a GIF person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, generated is the word, right?

[Michael Urie]

Well, it's technically, it's supposed to. You're supposed to say jif, but I say, too bad. It looks like GIF, the creator of GIFs, dropped the ball.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm a big fan of peanut butter. I think that's why I go to Jeff.

[Michael Urie]

How has there not been some sort of JIF peanut butter crossover campaign? Yeah, I don't know animated gif, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I sent Ryan a GIF of Bernadette Peters or something like that, just as a joke, just as you know, you know, as you do. And he wrote back like, it's the lady from the gym. Like, that's how much.

[Michael Urie]

Bernadette's a huge meathead. She's just this muscle bound, perfect shape.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, she's like 100 years old. She's in very good shape. She looks incredible.

[Michael Urie]

So she's just hitting the gym?

[Bridger Weiniger]

She hits the gym.

[Michael Urie]

What machines is she using?

[Bridger Weiniger]

She does free weights. I. I always see her doing free weights.

[Michael Urie]

And she has benching thousands of pounds. Fernandette can bench £400. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But is that. Was I right?

[Michael Urie]

So you're saying curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm saying it's a curse for a trainer to insist that you shout.

[Michael Urie]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Michael Urie]

Huge curse. I mean, what I'm thinking is, what I can't do in any situation is yell in unison. And this is like they're saying during class. And since I was a child, I feel so embarrassed when people are yelling in unison, doing cheers or whatever. I can't do it. I simply. I, I will remain silent or I'll. I'll lip sync whatever. We're yelling because I just. Spine is just tingling at the embarrassment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

I'm not going to get on a bike and yell with the rest of my classmates about exercise. That's humiliating. Don't. I'm. I'm there. I'm doing the thing. That's as much as you can ask for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's a fair. That's totally fair.

[Michael Urie]

Never tell me to yell. No, I'll yell when I want to. I will scream, but not when a. Somebody's making me exercise. So. Very good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What about like a picket or a protest?

[Michael Urie]

I won't even do it then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ah.

[Michael Urie]

If we're, you know, like November 2016, we're marching down through New York, everyone's yelling. Some clever thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My president.

[Michael Urie]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not.

[Michael Urie]

I'm silent. I've got a sign. That's all you can ask for.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, great, great.

[Michael Urie]

So no one asked me to yell in unison. It's. No one should do it. It's embarrassing for everybody. Okay, very good. Number two, this is from someone named Jacqueline. Gift or a curse. Misplacing your wallet, panicking that you've lost it somewhere around town, and then finding it in your home a few minutes later.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gift.

[Michael Urie]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, your moments. From canceling your credit cards, from panicking from the horror of potentially having to go to the DMV and replace your driver's license. And now you don't have to retrace your moments. Oh, my gosh. Moments. You don't have to retrace your steps. What a relief. You've got your wallet. I once left. I used to have one of those phone cases that was also a wallet.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I loved it. I Thought it was the greatest thing ever. I was obsessed with it. I thought I had figured out you had solved everything. Everything. Just like my tiny home. I have everything in this one tiny thing. And then I was extremely high in Dallas at a Starbucks on my way to a Barry Manilow concert.

[Michael Urie]

Keep going.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I left it at the Starbucks.

[Michael Urie]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And didn't realize it until I went to the box office to pick up my Manilow tickets. And they said, can I see your id? And I was like, no. And thank God I'm notable. So he googled me and they gave me the tickets.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I went to the concert thinking.

[Michael Urie]

Without I that would have ruined my evening. I would have gone home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I should have gone back to Starbucks.

[Michael Urie]

The last place you were.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But the tickets were comped. Because I kind of know Barry Manilow.

[Michael Urie]

That's right. How do you know him?

[Bridger Weiniger]

From being a fan? From insisting.

[Michael Urie]

From showing off on his doorstep?

[Bridger Weiniger]

From insisting. I've been a fan Al for many years. And the moment I had a monochrome of fame, that was my first mission.

[Michael Urie]

Of course, you've got to go for it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Barry Manilov. And I've been to his college concert nearly 20 times.

[Michael Urie]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm a big fan. Like a legit. An unironic fanelo. And I'm more than a Fenlo. I'm an ambassado. And so I was like, well, I'm not gonna miss the concert. And I also. I think we figured out that the Starbucks was closing soon. And I was like, it's not gonna matter anyway. I'll just call tomorrow.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, but of course it was gone and. And I was in Dallas and I had to fly back to New York in a couple of days.

[Michael Urie]

I was caught in Dallas just a week ago.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You got stuck.

[Michael Urie]

I hate American Airlines. We've said that on this podcast before, but now I'm saying it again. It was a rough experience. All of their. The restaurants there at Dallas Fort Worth close at 9:00pm Even the Chili's 2 Chili's 2 Starbucks is no longer serving hot food after 9:00 clock. My ultimate nightmare. Stuck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Was there a lounge you could buy into?

[Michael Urie]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Probably.

[Michael Urie]

But as we discussed with the lottery, there's no way I'm paying for that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Right. No, that's fair.

[Michael Urie]

I'm sorry, continue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. So anyway, I lost my phone and wallet. And the easy thing to get was credit card. Literally on the doorstep of the place I was staying the next day.

[Michael Urie]

That quickly?

[Bridger Weiniger]

So fast.

[Michael Urie]

How does that happen?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because they want you to spend money it got there so, so quickly. I had to have a friend who was staying in my apartment FedEx me my passport so that I could get on a plane. And the hardest thing, I mean getting another driver's license was not easy, but it wasn't pressing.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The hardest thing was replacing my phone. Because you cannot get a phone without an id. Oh, they will not give you a phone without an id. Id. Is that wild?

[Michael Urie]

That's bizarre. How does that work?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I couldn't believe it. And I was like, do you have Google? I am known. And they would, they said, no, sorry, that won't work.

[Michael Urie]

Well, this was pre you being on an Apple show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's true.

[Michael Urie]

That would have helped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I wonder if that would have helped.

[Michael Urie]

That would have helped if I was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At the Apple store and I said, we're colleagues, you might not realize this, but we're collecting call. But I couldn't believe I also like in. I'm from Dallas. I'm from, I'm from Dallas. You know, I'm sort of a local.

[Michael Urie]

Local boy does it means nothing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They had no idea who I was. They couldn't have cared less at this.

[Michael Urie]

At this Apple, your ego is just getting destroyed. Your life is at an all time low.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they were rude. They were even rude about it. I, I, I, I could. And I was so discouraged. It was like such an upsetting, discouraging moment. And I, luckily I was staying with my very dear friends and they took very good care of me through the whole ordeal. But holy crap, was it hard. And they gave me, this is crazy. They gave me one of their credit cards to use in the interim and I had to like, I had a rental car and I had to return it and I was driving without a license. I was freaking out. Get to the airport and I'm like, oh shit, I have to return this with gas in it. And I go to the gas station and I'm using their card and it asks for a zip code. And I'm like, I'm like, what's. I don't know, I don't know the zip code. And I can't remember how. He figured it out eventually. Oh, I think I had someone's one of their phones or something. They gave me one of their phones and I was like, oh yeah, there's a Luby's cafeteria at the end of their block. Do you know what that is?

[Michael Urie]

Luby's Cafeteria? No, I hate the name of this business.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a Luby's cafeteria at the end of the block. If I Google the Luby's Cafeteria. That will show me the address. And then I got the zip code that way. It was like Luby's Cafeteria. Okay.

[Michael Urie]

What is that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sidebar. Luby's Cafeteria. There are In Texas. I don't think there are any. They're there anymore. But when I was a kid in Texas, there were two cafeterias. One was Luby's and one was Wyatt's.

[Michael Urie]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it is a place where you go and there's a long line. It's like a cafeteria, you know, like a school cafeteria.

[Michael Urie]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Long line. You get a tray and you go through and you take. I want those. I want this okra. I want the chicken. I want this, you know, Mac and cheese or the pudding or whatever. And you go down the line and you get it, and you go sit at these nice tables, and it's quite lovely.

[Michael Urie]

That sounds lovely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, it's quite lovely. And there was a Looby's. It's not there anymore, but there's a Looby's at the end of my friend's block, and that helped.

[Michael Urie]

God bless Luby or Luby.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Luby. L, U B y. Luby. Luby's.

[Michael Urie]

Interesting. I'm familiar with BUC EE's, but that's a different Bucky's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was. I was literally wearing my Buc EE's pajamas this morning. I love Buc EE's.

[Michael Urie]

I've never been to one, but I re. I feel like it would be a dream world for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is so, so cool.

[Michael Urie]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Buc ee's is a really. And the billboards are all over the south or wherever they are. And my parents live in the Austin area, and I'm in Dallas a lot because that's where I grew up. And I have friends there, and I work there sometimes. And so I've driven from Dallas to Austin many times. And there is a buc EE's halfway. It's not quite. It's a little more than halfway, but there are so many signs that you are whipped into a frenzy by the time you get there. You are so ready for Buc EE's. It's like. It's like. And some of the signs are really cheeky. They're like, beef jerky. It'll just, like, say.

[Michael Urie]

Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just, like, say one of the things that they sell.

[Michael Urie]

What's their number one thing? Is it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think the be. There's, like, a beef jerky wall.

[Michael Urie]

Okay. Wow. And you can get my dream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Any kind of beef jerky. There's like, also can't. There's so much candy. But there's. There's also also. I've never seen so many urinals. There is Neil, Neal.

[Michael Urie]

They're just throughout the store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're everywhere. They're outside. You can pump gas and pee at the same time. But there's so many gas pumps. There's so many urinals. And there's also so many freezers with ice. Because I think a lot of people on road trips with coolers that you know.

[Michael Urie]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then, of course, in addition to that, you can get hot lunch. You can get pastries. Kolaches is a big thing.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I love a kolache.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can get kolaches and you can buy your entire wardrobe. They've got clothing, clothing, anything for the kitchen. Any kind. You would have so many doormat options. I'm telling you, any doormat you could possibly want. It could, say, don't mess with Texas. Sure. But it could also. You probably could find with tasteful Bridger Mat.

[Michael Urie]

That's the one thing that no one will ever print on a product, is the name Bridger. Bridget's as close as I'll ever get.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bridge.

[Michael Urie]

Not even a bridge. Bridget.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, Bridget. Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bridget. Well, you could always get, like, a Bridget and, like, turn the T into an R. Oh, that's true.

[Michael Urie]

It's gonna be a janky looking Carve.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It R. But yeah, but when I like. Buc EE's is the kind of place where you go and you're looking through, like, their housewares department, and you think, I want to buy all new housewares, and I want them all to no.

[Michael Urie]

Idea that it went this far.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's worth it. There's some small buc ees, right, that aren't like that. There's smaller Buc ees that are more like a really nice 7 11. But it's sort of. I mean, it's like. It's basically like Target meets a gas station meets 7 11. Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gas station.

[Michael Urie]

Well, you're saying gift ultimately.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Back to that. Sorry.

[Michael Urie]

Gifts. Gift, gift, gift. It's a curse. Those moments between losing the wallet and finding the wallet will age you a million years. I don't care what relief there is at the end, you're sick to your stomach, and by the time you get to the wallet, you might as well be dead. It's a horrible. I know that there's some relief there, but I'd rather die. It's a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Losing the wallet at all.

[Michael Urie]

I Can't. I can't lose the wallet. I can't. I would rather not find the wallet. Wallet. Oh, I'd rather just have to start.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Over, start a scratch.

[Michael Urie]

Because I'm devastated beyond belief. I lost my bag in New York a couple of months ago. The ten minutes of not having it. Horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ten minutes.

[Michael Urie]

Absolutely horrible. I aged at least five years. So you've missed that point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Damn.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, number three. This is from. And this is a strange combination of names. Two listeners have written in. Casey and Anthony have suggested food courts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are you sure it wasn't Casey Anthony?

[Michael Urie]

Her middle name's. And we're just finding out. Casey and Anthony have written in apparently. Or Casey Anthony. And she thought that this would throw us off. Didn't do much work on the fake name. But they've suggested food courts. Gift or a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Food courts are a gift.

[Michael Urie]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's nothing like a Cinnabon or a Jamba Juice or a full on burger and fries to keep your shopping experience going. Because I get very fatigued shopping. I don't like shopping. I'm not a big shopper. But if I can split up a day shopping at a mall or some establishment with lots of shops, with a meal or even a snack or even if it's just like a. Even if it's just like a Diet Coke, sure, it will make all the difference in the world. I recently went to a food court at the Galleria in Glendale and I had the most delicious Five guys burger and fries.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And a Diet Coke. It was truly terrific. And it cost $30. What? What? 30? It was $27 for a burger.

[Michael Urie]

Pricing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Michael Urie]

What are they doing over there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. Is that. Am I just getting old or is everything more expensive now?

[Michael Urie]

I mean, things are more expensive. Certainly things have gotten out of hand pricing wise, especially within food. Yeah, I feel like food, the food industry is kind of. I don't know what they're doing. The egg prices went up for 10 minutes and then everybody said everything is now $40.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Michael Urie]

But you should not be paying $30 at a food court. Five guys.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I don't go to fast food often at all. But like it used to be you could get a whole meal for $5. Right?

[Michael Urie]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was a thing.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, well, I mean, sure, Michael, six under 10. But I will say 10 years ago you could get an $8 meal. I think you could get something for $8. And now. But if you had said. If I were to estimate how much you paid at the food court five guys, I would have said. Said $15.

[Bridger Weiniger]

27.

[Michael Urie]

What did you order?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I got a bacon cheeseburger.

[Michael Urie]

Right, Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And fries.

[Michael Urie]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And probably a large Diet Coke. Sure. But that's. That's it.

[Michael Urie]

I would say max $16 for that. There's something going on at that food court.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you think they upcharged me?

[Michael Urie]

They must be. There's no way a freestanding five guys is charging somebody $30. So that means eel. If they are, then the whole company should be shut down.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it's also that five guys doesn't have a. A value menu. I feel like most fast food places you can get a combo, Right?

[Michael Urie]

Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's cheaper.

[Michael Urie]

Well, it's not cheaper, but the price is just combined and you don't have to do the math.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that right?

[Michael Urie]

I think that's basically.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not actually cheaper.

[Michael Urie]

I don't think that it. Well, maybe some places it's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They don't give you. It's. Everything's all a carte at five guys.

[Michael Urie]

That. That does. It means nothing to me. That should not be $30 in n out. That same meal would have been $11. I know for a fact because I eat it probably twice a week.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So In n Out.

[Michael Urie]

My heart is gonna explode.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Still has. They still have a reasonable.

[Michael Urie]

Completely reasonable. Well made and reasonable. I mean their politics are probably horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But the fries at In N Out are not great.

[Michael Urie]

Once you get used to them. Everything's fine. Fine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The burgers are terrific.

[Michael Urie]

Excellent. And if you order the fries well done, you're in a good spot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Michael Urie]

These are the tricks people need to know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can do that?

[Michael Urie]

Oh yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can say, I want my fries well done.

[Michael Urie]

Oh yeah. They're happy to do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay. Because I just like over salt them and. And pretend like it's.

[Michael Urie]

I mean it is ultimately just a law or something. Salt delivery service. I just need something to be pure salt in every meal. So I don't really care what. What texture it is. Exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What would be your FA if you had to choose any fast food? Is. Is in and out what you would.

[Michael Urie]

In n Out and Howland Rays, which is not. It's. They only have two locations in la. But it's a fast food place. It's like Hot chicken.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yum.

[Michael Urie]

Those are the two places.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fat Burger. What about Fat Burger?

[Michael Urie]

Never been to a Fat Burger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fat Burger is really good.

[Michael Urie]

Is it really, really good. I don't even know where I would go to Fat Burger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's one in Los Feliz.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, Kind of in the same parking lot as John's, the grocery store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And there's a CVS there.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah, there's a CVS in the middle of parking lot. Yeah, it's in the stunning area. It's not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it's not fast. I wouldn't say. I wouldn't necessarily call fat burger fast.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, it feels more like a casual.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have to wait. I mean, they have a drive through situation.

[Michael Urie]

So you're saying they have bad service?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I mean, I guess that. I guess that is what I'm saying. But it's a good burger but lousy service.

[Michael Urie]

Well, I'll give you the correct answer here in a moment, but I do want to say one more thing about the Glendale Galleria.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

I just found out they close at 8pm no, that makes no sense. That is not natural for a mall. A mall should close at 9pm 9pm earliest. Absolutely the earliest. During the holidays you get a 10 or 11 o' clock. 8pm Feels like small town to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like if it's 8pm and you're in the middle, will you even make it?

[Michael Urie]

You probably freeze dissolve or something. That makes no sense to me. 8 o' clock, very early 9pm I don't know, maybe it's a pandemic. Post pandemic sort of thing where like. Yeah, we can't sustain them all after 8pm but I'm pretty sure the Din Tai Fung is open after 8 o' clock, so that makes sense. You're not familiar with Din Tai Fung? No, the dumpling place. Soup dumpling place. Wonderful. Almost impossible to get into. They were at the Americana. It's a big controversy because they moved to the Galleria. It was a big win for the Galleria.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, oh. And you can get to it from the outside?

[Michael Urie]

Yes, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, I know what you're talking about, but I've never been.

[Michael Urie]

I believe it used to be a virtual reality center. That right there that no one went to. Okay. Turned into a restaurant.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Michael Urie]

Great dumplings.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do like the Americana.

[Michael Urie]

I like the Americana. I prefer the Galleria.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Uh huh. Do you like the Grove?

[Michael Urie]

I don't mind the. I feel like the Grove is sparse. They don't have enough happening at the Grove. Don't you think it's pretty small?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is pretty small. The food. The farmer's market situation is pretty great. Oh, the food court thing there, which doesn't have. They don't have that at the Americana.

[Michael Urie]

They don't. The Americana, you kind of have to do Almost has no food.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of like Cheesecake Factory or popcorn at the movies. And that's like really all you got. Can. Or like, like, really nice restaurants.

[Michael Urie]

Right? Like the Katsuya Sushi place. I don't know that that qualifies as a nice restaurant, but it's like a sushi place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like a. Like a. Like, you know, not, not like. I mean, Cheesecake Factory is perfectly nice, but it's.

[Michael Urie]

We all know what exactly what the Cheesecake Factory is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's literally a factory.

[Michael Urie]

Yes, It's a. There are people standing in a line producing your product. Horrible condition. Okay, well, look, I have to give you the answer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Food courts are a gift. I love a food court. What? I'll say. I love to go. I love a hot dog on a stick. I love. Well, that might be the only thing I like to eat in a food court anymore, but there's probably something else I would like to eat there. And I love the atmosphere. I love the mix of smells. That feels bad. And. And I prefer them to a food hall. Are you familiar with food halls? Food halls are simply food courts for millennials. Oh, it's exactly a food court. Except for we've started calling them a food hall.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Michael Urie]

Maybe they're like slightly nicer restaurants, huh? More chef driven restaurants. But they're ridiculous, and I hate that that even exists.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Just give me a trashy food court that a teen can make me feel uncomfortable in. Casey and Anthony have written in. Given us the suggestion. Thank you, Casey. And. And Is probably her grandmother's name. It's her beautiful middle name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Full name. Andrew. Grandmother. Grandma Andrew.

[Michael Urie]

Well, you got two out of three. Not bad. Not bad, not bad, not bad, not bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I could have. I could have done better, but I. I could have done work.

[Michael Urie]

You can always do better. We can always do better. And then that's one of the nice things about life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you like Grand Central Market?

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I don't mind. I went there a lot during my jury duty trial thing where they were trying to pick. Jury duty.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

And I ate a lot at. They have a good Korean place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And it's an amazing paella place. Or was. I haven't been in a long time. And then a ceviche place where they have different kinds of ceviche. Phenomenal.

[Michael Urie]

I've had neither of those.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those and egg slut.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, of course. Egg slut. That's the original egg slut. Egg slut. I'm kind of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Me too. Yeah, I like saying it, but.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah. But the Place. I'm like, I think we've seen. It's seen better days.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Also, I think it should be called Egg Sex Worker.

[Michael Urie]

Egg Sex Worker is much catchier. It's time to get with the times. Egg slut. Okay, it's time for the final segment of the podcast. This is called I said no email.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Michael Urie]

People write into I said no giftsmail.com. absolutely desperate for answers. Will you help me answer a question?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Okay, let's get into the document here. This says dear. Oh, speaking of dear Bridget and predictably disrespectful guests. So I don't know if that was purposeful or what, but this person is just kind of getting at me from the start. I need help for some background. My now fiance and I got together just about six months before lockdown. As you can intuit, we survived and thrived. But as a result of our honeymoon phase continuing into the pandemic, we had extra time and money to go way over the top with gifts for birthdays as examples. I bought him a much needed Martin acoustic guitar. He followed that with a mini album of five of my favorite songs that he recorded and played every instrument on. I came back at that with having a dozen of our friends record their versions of his favorite songs and learned how to mix to create an album. Oh, my God, what's happening here? He came back at that with quite literally, individually illustrating the 32 things he loves about me. Oh, what about me? For my 32nd birthday? It goes on, but I'd hate to bore you. Well, I've got bad news for you. Last year, we called a birthday gift truce as things continued to escalate and we just couldn't outdo each other. Yeah, this could have led to. You could escalate to murder. They would have killed each other. In October of 2024, he will return turning 40, and I feel that I must have a gift of grandiosity, especially since we just did cards last year. He loves music and art most of all, the Tim and Eric universe, and is really quite a brilliant, humble, and unassuming art professor. I'm willing to splurge on something within reason, but can't come up with a new idea. I've done the cameo thing, gotten him an outdoor pizza oven, a vacation period. Help me come up with something new. Best regards, Air. What is this couple doing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Michael Urie]

The amount of things they've done, it's like a lifetime of like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. I think. I think for his 40th birthday, she should dump him.

[Michael Urie]

Absolutely. Get rid of this lose, sir.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're done.

[Michael Urie]

He drew some pictures and recorded some songs that you had to act like you liked. And now you're getting him a vacation. An outdoor pizza oven. This guy's a dirtbag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder who she booked on cameo for him.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, interesting. And she kind of gave us no details about the music or anything. Who could it have possibly been? I feel like the guy from Sugar Ray does a lot of cameos. What's his name? Mark McGrath. I'm assuming it was Mark McGrath.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's go with that.

[Michael Urie]

She got.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's willing to spend a lot of money. An outdoor pizza oven.

[Michael Urie]

How much does that cost?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a huge thing.

[Michael Urie]

That's an expensive dog, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's gotta be. I mean, that's a brick. And, you know, it must be, right?

[Michael Urie]

I mean, maybe my knowledge of a pizza oven is. Is limited, but I'm assuming I'm picturing one of those giant igloo shapes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. It's gotta be huge. You don't just pick that up at. No, At Lowe's. That's something that you have to, like, have. I don't think maybe you do. I don't know. I don't know. That's something.

[Michael Urie]

I assume she spent $30,000 on that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Michael Urie]

The vacation, it feels like. And the pandemic. It's 2020. This has been four years of time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

The amount. This is hundreds of thousands of dollars in gifts. Let's assume this couple. She's got to get him out of the picture.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no mention of. They're not married. Or are they?

[Michael Urie]

Well, if they are married, she should divorce and get all of this back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I think she should, like, go out with a bang. She should go get pregnant by another man and then say, Happy 40.

[Michael Urie]

I'm naming the child after you. The perfect gift. He didn't have to put in any.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Work, and he doesn't have to raise the child because it's somebody else's. She can leave and. But what did you get for. Did you. Are you 40? You're not.

[Michael Urie]

No. But Jim's about to turn. He's a few years from 50. A couple of years from 50. And he never does anything for his birthdays. But he keeps threatening that he wants to do something big for his birthday, and I don't even know how that's going to manifest itself because he never does anything for his birthday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Michael Urie]

What is he going to want?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What is Jimmy Smugula gonna want for his 50th?

[Michael Urie]

He doesn't ever want anything. He's a very hard person to get a gift for. I guess some sort of event.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A party.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah. Where people come and celebrate him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think. Well, he loves. He loves like. Like good dessert.

[Michael Urie]

He loves a good meal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I think Cheesecake Factory. I think it's Cheesecake Factory. At the Americana.

[Michael Urie]

That's always the ultimate gift. Jim would say, can we please just go somewhere where we don't get a number? He says that to me constantly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's so funny.

[Michael Urie]

So that's how I'll spoil Jim on his 50th. But this person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My 40th was in the pandemic, and Ryan got me a few things, but he got me a vintage Barry Manila shirt.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, that's a really good as.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know that from.

[Michael Urie]

What decade would you say it was?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it was 80s.

[Michael Urie]

Wow. So that's a real. That's a stunning shirt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A really cute shirt. Fit me perfectly. It was. It was. That was a really, really good gift. And for him, I got. And his nephew. Our nephew. And his sister helps help. We got him a video, a compilation of everybody that loves him, you know.

[Michael Urie]

That's very sweet. That's a. Yeah. End in tears sort of thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. If he. If he had tear deaths.

[Michael Urie]

He's emotionless.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's emotionless. So he didn't care.

[Michael Urie]

He's a very cold, cruel person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So, yeah, like, that's. That's tough. She's really outdone herself.

[Michael Urie]

She's outdone. She's painted herself into a corner where all she can do is have an affair and get pregnant and move on with her life and ditch this loser. I think that's the way to take his pizza oven.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Take back the vacation, however you can do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Demand the rights to the cameo and then it's perfect.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But if he's an art history professor, I suppose you could do. You know, I was in a stage version of the Da Vinci Code.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, I love this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. I'm surprised.

[Michael Urie]

Finally on stage, that's where it was. That's what it was born to be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I sort of thought that's what the bulk of this interview would be about, but it's okay.

[Michael Urie]

No, that's the next episode. We'll have a slight music and then get into episode two. Dan Brown.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dan is actually really cool. He had us to his house.

[Michael Urie]

I hope so. He's got a lot of money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He has so much money and he's done really well. He's done a really good job with it. Like, he, you know, Sometimes it's like really, really rich people. You think, think, you know, what are you even doing with it?

[Michael Urie]

Like, oh, constantly. I'm like, oh, you get to have all that money and you're making horrible choices.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He had us over to his house, and it is a really cool house. Very Dan Brown. Anyway, one of the closing night gifts or opening night gifts that someone gave all of us was a Mona Lisa card. But instead of the Mona Lisa face, it was our own face. And I wonder as an art historian if he might get a kick out of something like that.

[Michael Urie]

That's not a bad idea. Commission a really accurate. Yeah, it's. What is the Mona Lisa? Oil. Well, I can assume oil, crayon, whatever. Mona Lisa was done, the original medium and of his face.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or what about, like. What about like a portrait of him in the style of Van Gogh?

[Michael Urie]

Oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, like all, like.

[Michael Urie]

I mean, I think what you're kind of without realizing it is setting up a divorce because he's not going to like it and she's going to feel mad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want them to separate. Yes.

[Michael Urie]

You're just trying to get these two apart as quickly as possible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something to mock him. I want her to do something to say, I don't respect you.

[Michael Urie]

This has all been a lie. Well, Aaron, let's see. Aaron, it's Michael.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. You're talking to. I thought you were.

[Michael Urie]

Well, Aaron, I wait this long to lose my mind on the episode. No, Aaron has so many options here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Michael Urie]

Cheesecake Factory, baby. Painting there. You can't go wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can't go wrong.

[Michael Urie]

You absolutely cannot go wrong on a 40th.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've got till October.

[Michael Urie]

Yeah. You know, to do all of those things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you could do them all. Right. But, you know, you could start now and you could have the baby by October.

[Michael Urie]

Oh, my God. The baby could be entering high school. Really resent the sky. Yes. Perfect. Well, Michael, we answered the question perfectly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Great. I think so.

[Michael Urie]

And now I have this measuring tape, which I'm just gonna go crazy with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gonna measure things.

[Michael Urie]

I'm going to know the measurement of everything in my home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anything within three feet, you can.

[Michael Urie]

Three feet. But you can also go, you know, then you do three feet and then you keep your finger there and then do another three feet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right. That's the beauty of the tape.

[Michael Urie]

That's the beauty of tape and space. And I've just had a wonderful time with you here today.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Michael Urie]

Thank you for being here. And listener. The podcast is over. You've Got to find something else to do. I'm not giving you any suggestions. I'm leaving you on your own. Get out of here. Goodbye. I love you. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Anneliese Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Cotner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? When I invited you here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I thought.

[Michael Urie]

I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I said no guests.

[Michael Urie]

Your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me?

[Anneliese Nelson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

Asking the right questions can greatly impact your future, especially when it comes to your finances. So if you're looking for a financial advisor you can trust, certified financial planner professionals are committed to acting in your best interest. That's why it's gotta be a CFP. Find your CFP [e-mail] Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana, That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine?

[Anneliese Nelson]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app. For details.