Beck Bennett Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Episode Summary: "Beck Bennett Disobeys Bridger"

Podcast: I Said No Gifts! A Comedy Interview Podcast with Bridger Winegar
Host: Bridger Winegar
Guest: Beck Bennett
Release Date: July 10, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of I Said No Gifts!, Bridger Winegar welcomes comedian and actor Beck Bennett to the show. As the title suggests, Bridger’s strict "no gifts" policy is humorously tested when Beck brings an unexpected present, leading to playful banter and engaging conversations.

---

Morning Mishaps and Observations (00:45 - 03:22)

Bridger opens with anecdotes about his morning routine, highlighting a frustrating experience at Costco involving protein bars. He humorously details an encounter with a store employee who rearranged his items and grazed his ankle with a cart.

Notable Quote:
Bridger (00:45): "I went to Costco, got in, got out, got exactly what I needed, some breakfast bars... Jim has been eating mine because he over invested in his type of bars."

He also touches upon watching the HBO documentary The Mortician, speculating humorously about the efficiency and morality of the titular character.

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Beck Bennett's Update and Arrival (03:22 - 04:34)

Beck shares updates about his Patreon and the upcoming wrap-up of his podcast, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. He expresses enthusiasm about being a guest and Bridger reciprocates warmly, setting a friendly and judgment-free tone.

Notable Quote:
Beck (03:23): "Patreon continues to exist... We're here in the studio. I've had a surprisingly efficient morning."

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The "No Gifts" Challenge and Beck's Surprise (24:13 - 29:05)

As the conversation progresses, Beck brings out a beautifully wrapped gift, flagrantly breaking Bridger’s "no gifts" rule. The gift—a sleek black wooden wok spoon designed by Kenji J. Lopez, co-founder of Serious Eats—becomes the focal point of their interaction.

Notable Quote:
Beck (24:42): "I just, I really couldn't help myself because I was like, maybe this is the gift that changes the podcast."

Bridger humorously speculates on the spoon's uses, including a playful nod to a previous quirky gift from Rob Huebel.

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Discussion on Cooking and Kitchen Tools (29:05 - 60:00)

The episode delves into a lively discussion about cooking, inspired by the wooden spoon. Bridger shares his newfound interest in culinary techniques, crediting Kenji J. Lopez for making cooking accessible and scientifically intriguing. They exchange tips on various cooking methods, favorite recipes, and the challenges of maintaining kitchen tools like cast iron pans.

Notable Quotes:
Bridger (30:10): "He really helped just make it all accessible because, you know, your typical cookbook... breaks down everything to the science of the cooking."
Beck (36:34): "Crummy bread. It's very much like a sandwich. If you use bad bread for a sandwich, that's half the thing."

Their banter covers everything from the art of making the perfect BLT to the frustrations of dealing with non-stick pans and the intricacies of pie-making.

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Game Time: "Gift or a Curse" (64:47 - 90:03)

Transitioning into a fun segment, Bridger and Beck play "Gift or a Curse," where they evaluate listener-submitted items.

1. John Cougar Mellencamp: Bridger humorously praises the name, associating it with rock 'n' roll vibes.

   • Beck's Verdict (67:43): Declares it a curse, expressing his dislike for Mellencamp's song "Jack and Diane."

2. Washing Hands Next to Someone: Bridger debates the gesture, initially categorizing it as a curse due to performative aspects, but Beck corrects him to a gift, emphasizing proper hygiene.

3. Saying Movie Titles During Films: Bridger struggles to categorize it, eventually marking it as a curse after failing to align his thoughts with Beck's explanations.

Notable Quotes:
Beck (67:43): "I have to. This may be my number one least favorite song of all time."
Bridger (71:25): "She's in a hellhole."

Their playful competition highlights their chemistry and comedic timing, even as Bridger fumbles some answers.

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Listener Interaction and Final Thoughts (90:03 - End)

The episode concludes with Beck addressing a listener's question about handling a friend who refers to her life as a "lifestyle." They offer humorous yet insightful advice, blending comedy with relatable social dynamics.

Notable Quote:
Beck (84:35): "She has a lifestyle as well. Start throwing that around about everybody in your life."

Bridger wraps up by showcasing the wooden spoon, discussing its uses, and reinforcing the episode's humorous and lighthearted spirit.

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Conclusion

"Beck Bennett Disobeys Bridger" stands out as a memorable episode where Bridger’s strict "no gifts" rule is playfully broken, leading to engaging conversations about cooking, personal dynamics, and comedic games. The chemistry between Bridger and Beck ensures a fun and entertaining listen, making this episode a delightful addition to the over 100 episodes of I Said No Gifts!.

Notable Final Quote:
Beck (91:21): "Thank you for having me."

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Credits:
I Said No Gifts! is produced by Exactly Right and iHeartPodcasts. Senior Producer Annelise Nelson handled the episode's production, with mixing by Ben Tolliday. The vibrant theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann. Special thanks to booker Patrick Cotner.

Stay Connected:
Follow the podcast on Instagram @isaidnogifts to see photos of all the delightful (and sometimes dubious) gifts received.

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Disclaimer:
This summary is intended to provide an overview of the episode's key points and discussions. For the full comedic experience and all the nuances, listening to the actual episode is highly recommended.

Transcript

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is exactly right.

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[Beck Bennett]

When I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You gotta come to me empty handed.

[Beck Bennett]

I said no gifts. Yes, your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me? Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're here in the studio. I've had a surprisingly efficient morning. I went to Costco, got in, got out, got exactly what I needed, some breakfast bars. Because Jim has been eating mine because he over invested in his type of bars. And those are the Robert Irving or something. Irvine, the guy who did the restaurant Impossible, has now started making bars and they're disgusting. Um, so now Jim's eating mine and I had to go to Costco and then I put my bars on the conveyor belt and the person behind me corrected the way I put them on the conveyor belt. I didn't say anything to him and he had grazed my ankle with his cart. So I guess I saved it all just to talk about on the podcast rather than confront him. He was bald, I had a gold chain. So keep your eye out for him. What else is going on? Been watching the Mortician. This is a documentary on HBO if you haven't heard of this. It's kind of about a mortician who runs a crematory where he. This isn't giving anything away. He put a lot of bodies into the Friar at once and was, you know, I don't see that much wrong with it. Very efficient. He was doing like 40,000 bodies a year. Maybe there were some suspicious deaths around him. I can't speak to that. I also look, if my body gets thrown into the fryer with a bunch more. And it's not a fryer, it's an oven. Sure. If my ashes get mixed up, my family gets somebody else. Maybe look at somebody with a better personality. I don't know. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I'm on his side. And truly, if anyone in my family spends more than $50 on my funeral, I'm coming back and I will make your lives a living hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What else?

[Beck Bennett]

Patreon continues to exist. I think by the time this is out, we'll be kind of wrapping up season two of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. It's been quite a journey and it's been explosive. Absolutely explosive. So get on there, join us for bonus episodes. Whatever. Let's get into the show. I adore today's guest. He's fantastic. It's Beck Bennett.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God, it's so nice to be here. Bridger.

[Beck Bennett]

Beck, I'm so happy you could be here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I really, it's really a pleas to be in your, you know, in your. What's the word? I don't have the word. Not your studio. But you're like in my orbit. In your orbit? Yeah. You're comforting. Like. I feel very taken care of.

[Beck Bennett]

I hope so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like I could. Like we talked a little bit before, we said we can say anything to go anywhere and it really feels that way. It feels like there are no judgments here.

[Beck Bennett]

There will be no judgments. I'm only asking questions.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's great to be here in a judgment free zone, you know, because most places these days you're gonna, you say the wrong thing, you do the wrong thing, you're gonna get a look, you.

[Beck Bennett]

Can'T be funny anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can't be funny.

[Beck Bennett]

People are so icy. They're so sensitive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yes, they really are. But I, you know, I gotta. I'm blown away by your Costco story. There's so many things there that I really wanna jump on. I. First of all, the bar. What's your bar?

[Beck Bennett]

My bar is. It's called a Think bar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A Think Bar. Oh yes, the think bar. The 20 grams of protein, no sugar.

[Beck Bennett]

No sugar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. So I've always done those. Oh, I did the peanut butter ones.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they started to have a little bit of a, like a funk smell to them. And I'm like, is this cause they've been sitting on the shelves for two years, three years, or is it the flavor? And I switched over to a chocolate flavor and it doesn't have the same smell.

[Beck Bennett]

Now they have the variety pack, which is a chocolate and a peanut butter. And I think the problem is if you eat too many like in a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Row, if you have like a 10 pack a day, then you might get.

[Beck Bennett]

A little bad to your body. I don't get it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unbelievable.

[Beck Bennett]

No, you have to every other day or you Start to recognize, oh, this is a bad tasting thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. This is fake. This is not good.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Science has created a thing that like your brain can be tricked momentarily but then it starts to catch on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

So if you alternate. It's fine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's fine.

[Beck Bennett]

Are you eating these for breakfast?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, these are snacks. Like that bring them with me when I don't have time for a meal. You know, a little in between type of thing.

[Beck Bennett]

I'll put some in my backpack if I'm going on a flight. This kind of thing, it's nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But at the same time they are covered in some sort of sugar free chocolate that will melt.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So that was a little bit of a hiccup. I would like a non chocolate covered so they're impervious to the melting situation. And I don't make a mess when I open it in my car or something.

[Beck Bennett]

I have five, currently five boxes in my car and it's about 85 degrees.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. They're cooked. They are just one big blob as you can put them in the freezer and cool them off. You know, they've got that weird shape to it, you know?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You bring the shape back.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. The chocolate and the peanut butter will mix together a little bit. It'll be a new type. I need the mix up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. That's a good way to mix up your bars. Just put them in your car and melt them away and just give them a new form.

[Beck Bennett]

And I mean I've been chemicals every day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

For probably the last four years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think they're the most effective. Power bar. Yeah. Protein bar.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Because I've tried others. You know, there's the guy that my boyfriend has been eating the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm surprised he went with his bars. I mean like you're talking about the restaurant rescue guy has a bar.

[Beck Bennett]

The guy that's like super jazzed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It has like definitely is emotional problems.

[Beck Bennett]

And I don't think any of the skills required to do the show he's doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't, I don't think like what expertise is he bringing to the bars? To the restaurants or the bars?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, he's not. It's not. It doesn't seem helpful to me.

[Beck Bennett]

No. I feel like he was like probably part of Seagull Team 6 or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And then he's like, now I'm going to save dumpy restaurant in Nebraska.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

And. And I don't think anyone should trust anything he's doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely not. I'm not surprised that the Bars were.

[Beck Bennett]

The bars are revolting. They are the sweetest. They look like they are appealing. It looks like a candy bar. It has kind of. You would think maybe these are candy bar ingredients.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You bite into that thing, and that's sugar, alcohol all the way through.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's really crazy, the variety of bars out there. You don't know what is a candy bar or what's going to be sort of good for you.

[Beck Bennett]

And at Costco, you get into that aisle, it's mania.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm a member at Costco. Here's the other thing. Haven't even made it in yet.

[Beck Bennett]

You haven't been to Costco?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I joined for my son's third birthday.

[Beck Bennett]

He begged you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I was like, okay, I'm gonna go get all the juice boxes and everything for the birthday party.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And. Which he threw up an hour into the birthday party. And it was just. It was all wasted. Basically. Everybody went home, and everybody was scared. But I went to Costco to get a membership for me and my wife. I was like, I'm going out of town or something. I was getting it so she could go shopping when I was getting out of town or something. And there was this whole thing where they were like, no, she has to come here and show her id, and she will not come.

[Beck Bennett]

They are very serious about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was so intense.

[Beck Bennett]

They don't play games.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They do not play games. It was so. It was. Yeah, it was very intense. And then the last thing I want to say about that opening story is the guy who. He rearranged your bars.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Without my permission.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is. That is so I would. I mean, of course, you have this place to just unload and be like, the guy with the chain, Costco. Be careful. He's gonna go over your heels. That is just.

[Beck Bennett]

We got him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. The. And the other. Just yesterday, I was at a farmer's market with my son in a. In a. What's it called? A wagon. That's what it's called. One of these wagons.

[Beck Bennett]

Like a red wagon?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. No, but it's, like black, and it, like, folds up. Oh.

[Beck Bennett]

Kind of all terrain.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of like an escal of wagons, which is why I, like, don't think of wagon. Yeah, basically. And I'm going through. And there's just. I. When you have a child and, like, older guys typically are, like, just, like, standing there and not getting out of the way. Oh, shit. I basically ran over him. And I was like. I walked by and I was like, excuse me. Excuse me. And he, like, I just went. I was going forward. Went over his foot a little bit. He was pulling back. And as he was pulling back, I said, you can do it. Went, oh, excuse me. Sorry. Anyway, that. To me, the relating things that I.

[Beck Bennett]

Have, it's a big issue for me in my life. Something that nothing will send me off. Like someone not being aware of how much space their body is taking up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Meanwhile, my wife was in line for. I forget what it was. She was getting, like, these, like, rice ball things at the farmer's market, and a woman was hovering over her shoulder. And she was like, this woman has been hovering over me. She's been, like, right up against my back. Every time I move forward, she, like, almost. Almost bumps into me. And she was at the point of, like, I. I'm about to say something, of course. And then she went to get her food, and the woman was hovering, Hovering over her again. I'm like, I have to say something. I have to. I'm the person who says something.

[Beck Bennett]

Did you say something?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, not. Not in that. But, you know, to the guy, I said, you can do it, and I ran over his foot.

[Beck Bennett]

But usually these people are like, if you do say something, then suddenly you become the villain. You're the one that was too sensitive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is. Yeah. Because they are. If they're displaying that sort of, you know, that sort of behavior, they're off. And you don't know what you're messing with.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You have no idea of what rules they're following.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's true. That's true. I subscribe to that, for sure. With any sort of sports thing, you know, a guy wearing, like, people at sports bars and sports events, or road rage, you know, I'm like, never. Confrontation. No. But in a supermarket, a farmer's market, I feel a little. Maybe even. Maybe even the airport, I'm a little emboldened because that's another. Lines hovering, people being awful situations.

[Beck Bennett]

And the airport. There's enough security around. Nobody. Someone crosses a line, you know they're going to be taken care of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yes. And honestly, that's actually kind of a good idea.

[Beck Bennett]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, kind of provoke. Kind of like, you can get rid.

[Beck Bennett]

Of these people pretty quick.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Be like, oh, you know, and then back off. Pull one of those things. Sort of instigate.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But then they come at you and like, oh, sorry, you got to go, man. Like, because you cannot. No mess around.

[Beck Bennett]

Their trip might be over right there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You can report them to TSA immediately. I feel threatened. This person said something in my ear. Yeah, that you might want to look.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At a little fake tattletale situation. Absolutely. Bait people at the end.

[Beck Bennett]

I heard the word bomb come out of his mouth. I don't know. But take care of him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm definitely gonna do that. Anytime somebody does something to me at the airport.

[Beck Bennett]

Have you ever had at TSA your bag disassembled and them take look through everything?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I haven't had a while ago. It hasn't been a long time recently, if anything, it's been like they've gone through and they haven't really found any. They've been like, pulled something out and been like, oh, yeah, this is what it was. And I'm like, okay, great. But. But the last time I flew, I was. Where was I coming? I was coming from New Orleans. And the guy. I went through, everything was fine with the bag, but he's like a little beeper went off right by my crotch. I was wearing jeans with metal.

[Beck Bennett]

The buttons. Oh, no. The worst kind of fly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And he. Yeah, absolutely. The worst kind of fly. I rarely. It's rare. It's usually open.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a job.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a whole. You gotta do the thing. And with these fingers. These are sausages. These are not meant for rock climbing surgery. No, these are cannot. They saw me as a kid, and they were like, he's not gonna be a surgeon.

[Beck Bennett]

This will not be a neurologist.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no, no. Not with these sausage fingers. But they didn't take the wand out. Like, it had been so long since I was checked. And he was like, I'm gonna need to check you. And I was like, okay, sure. And he went up my leg, you know, like, fully.

[Beck Bennett]

Just kind of slithered up your.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Like, really, like, kind of like. Like he was climbing a tree. Just kind of like choking up, you know, I don't know if that's 10 thighs, but. Yeah, I have big thighs, you know, he probably wanted to see what they felt like, but he was really bumping my junk. And then on the other side. And then he took the back of his hand and went across my crotch like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I was like. And I. And again, you know, I was. This is. You know, I could have been a little more patient, but I was like, what? I was like, do you want me to take my pants off? And he was like, sir, sir, I need to check. I was like, okay. I just. I wear these pants all the time. Okay. But it was like he was all over my penis.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that feels like a Second permission needs to be asked.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

He's like, I'm gonna touch you. And now I'm going to touch you further. Did you like that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Right? Is that okay?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is this okay?

[Beck Bennett]

Let's keep going.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He did ask me if I wanted to go to a private room.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I was like, absolutely not. No. Because then you're gonna get away with a lot more. And then let's go somewhere where no one can take my pants off. And then, like, you bring some other people in and I. You never want to go into the private room.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no. Well, then everyone's looking at you and they're like, now you, like, even after you leave the private room, they're like, what happened with him?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I come out, like, totally white, you know, eyes wide, and they're like, everything's fine.

[Beck Bennett]

No, you don't want people looking at you at the airport in that situation. You have to kind of explain. It's like, yeah, this is another thing. Like, if I go. If I'm at a restaurant and I go to the bathroom and it's occupied and I just need to pee, but then I, like, I'm standing there for a while. The amount of explaining I'm doing when I get back to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, oh, the wait.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was standing there. The wait. It was. It was a long wait. I didn't have to poop. Poo.

[Beck Bennett]

I should take a photo of, like, video of me waiting or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Just be like, if you were all wondering.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, you could. You could almost like. Well, I was going to say live. Live.

[Beck Bennett]

Go to Twitch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go to Twitch.

[Beck Bennett]

My Twitch channel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And then invite your friends at the table to go on your Twitch channel.

[Beck Bennett]

Tweens are watching me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It could be a whole channel called Bridger waiting for a public bathroom to open up.

[Beck Bennett]

Truly only needed to pee.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, Truly only needed to pee.

[Beck Bennett]

But that happens almost anytime at a restaurant because usually it's a one person thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now, how do you feel about. There's a men's and women's. And it's. You know, it still says men's and women's.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And there's. You're waiting. Say you're waiting for the men's and the women's opens up no line. Ooh.

[Beck Bennett]

And there's nobody else that needs them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. And you're waiting for the men's. You've been waiting forever. This person, you can. You can almost guarantee it's somebody that works at the restaurant just taking a little break.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what I mean? They're sitting in there for a long time. And the doors, I mean, of course you're gonna go for it. Right?

[Beck Bennett]

The temptation is absolutely always there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And I think it's totally. I think it's totally fine. But what happens is, you come out, there's a woman waiting there, and she's like, I've always.

[Beck Bennett]

I've got just prepared in my mind to say, get over it. Don't take it so seriously.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's.

[Beck Bennett]

Come on, this is all made up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on. Get over your. This is all bullshit. This is just an idea. This is a suggestion. Maybe split it up based on whatever.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Come on. It was two minutes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It drives me nuts. When I get a look after coming out of the women's bathroom, they should all be genderless.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. We don't need a sign on these things anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's just one or the other two.

[Beck Bennett]

Double up on the bathrooms, especially. I mean, the one thing I'll say is the women's bathroom, the line does tend to pile up more.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's true.

[Beck Bennett]

And so I'm like, am I getting in the way?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But sometimes you need it. And sometimes you're worried your friends think you are suddenly having the worst night of your life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yeah. I was thinking maybe anything you could do to prepare for that moment, like have a little card, like, you know, a little card that's like pre. Writt plastic.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something that says, like, I'm using this bathroom because there was no line. And I don't want my friends to think I'm taking a huge poop and having the worst night of my life. I'm just peeing. I'll be right out.

[Beck Bennett]

Please find it in your heart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't look at me weird when I come out. Everything's totally normal.

[Beck Bennett]

Everything I'm doing in here is legal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

I think. Yeah. You just hang that over there on the doorknob.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then somebody will go, oh, okay. You know, they're not going to be like, what the hell?

[Beck Bennett]

And while you're in there, maybe you call a friend from the table to just let them know that you're peeing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah. Have them come and check on you. Have them talk to the person outside the door.

[Beck Bennett]

If you wouldn't mind telling everybody in the restaurant that things are fine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Things are fine.

[Beck Bennett]

I am peeing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a long pee.

[Beck Bennett]

Please stop speculating about what I'm doing in here. Why does everyone care so much about what I'm doing in the bathroom?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know, but they do. I've heard people talk about caring about what you do in the bathroom very loudly. Specifically you.

[Beck Bennett]

Industry rumors. Oh, yeah, the industry's a buzz.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. What is he doing in there? What is he doing there?

[Beck Bennett]

It's always so long. If there's somebody in the bathroom come back to the table and go back. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's ridiculous. Yeah, I, you know, I'm. Yeah, I don't know if I have that quite as much. I think I'm okay with, like, sitting in there.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm just being okay with the wait.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I'm okay. Like, if people come back and they're like, that took a while. I'm like, something's wrong with you. Okay. There's nothing wrong with me. There's something wrong with your brain and the fact that you decided to bring this up in front of all of our friends. I was actually in a situation like that once. Really, where it was shooting a movie and there are people whose names I don't want to put out there, but somebody very funny. A woman went to the bathroom. She was there for a while, and then another woman. That doesn't matter.

[Beck Bennett]

It doesn't really matter. Two women.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Two women. One goes to the bathroom. She's funny. The other one isn't funny. And she's there and she's going, oh, my God, what are they doing in there? And the funny one comes back and she. And the non funny one, there's two women, and she goes in front of everybody. Oh, my God, that took so long. What were you doing in there? And the funny woman goes, I was taking a big fat shit. And then just like, totally was totally comfortable with it, you know, diffused the situation and good for her. Yeah, yeah. That's how I feel. That's how I feel. I'm like, I'm taking a big fat shit. I'm just like, I don't need the little thing to put on the door.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow, that's confidence. I need to get to that level.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, it's not the best kind of confidence to have. I would definitely rather have other kinds of confidence, but I'll take it. I'll take what I can get.

[Beck Bennett]

And I think actually I'm going to defend myself a little bit here. It's a little bit also of. I don't want everyone at the table having to think about poop while they're eating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's considerate. So you're considerate. I'm Considering others a little more considerate than embarrassed.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. I'm like, I don't want them sick to their stomachs, gagging down each bite, waiting for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

So look.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You're on the right side. And for me, I'm kind of like.

[Beck Bennett]

You don't give a shit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm like, let me put it in your head. If it's right there at the edge, I'm gonna. I'm gonna push it all the way in. I'm just gonna. How dare you? Don't dare.

[Beck Bennett]

As you leave the wrong table.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or I'll describe my shit in detail right when you're taking your first bite of your beef stroganoff.

[Beck Bennett]

You picked the wrong meal today.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You picked the wrong meal today, buster.

[Beck Bennett]

And yet you still haven't been to Costco. That's really.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Not as a member. I've been with other people. But as a member. Still haven't gone in yet.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a weird experience. As a non member, I always feel like, what should I be doing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I don't know the way in. Really, I don't, because I feel like there are certain things. Like, we got, like, a big thing of macaroni and cheese for our son, which I would imagine is like, the smallest thing you can get right. And. And I'm like. I see this thing in our pantry, and it's like. I don't know. It's like 40 things.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, you're not gonna eat all of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's all the same type. I like to go to the grocery store and maybe try a different one. Mix it up, try a different brand, try a different noodle, different cheese sauce.

[Beck Bennett]

Of course, you know, it's another thing where I think the Think Bar kind of encompasses it, where that's small enough that you can kind of just get used to it being. I don't care for this flavor, but who cares?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

But a meal of artificial cheese.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Artificial cheese and noodles, you guys get different flavors. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, it's upsetting. It's really upsetting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's really upsetting. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not quite there yet with Costco.

[Beck Bennett]

You'll get there at some point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe when I'm having more parties, birthday parties for my son, you know?

[Beck Bennett]

But did you. How did your Costco card photo turn out? Mine? Not a good situation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. I don't even know. I don't even know if I. I feel like I don't even know if I have it.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, you're never gonna get back into this place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I, I. In my. In my memory, I took a photo, and it was like a temporary thing. Oh, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Like a paper license. Idmv.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was. Yeah. Or like I was gonna pick it up later or something. I don't know. Maybe because I was so, so frustrated.

[Beck Bennett]

You're never getting back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm never getting back in there.

[Beck Bennett]

Let me. I'm actually gonna show you my Costco card because I think it's worth seeing. I would love the image they picked for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would love to. And I'm gonna look in my wallet to see if I happen to have one, but.

[Beck Bennett]

Look at this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Beck Bennett]

There is not a single distinguishable feature on this photo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What?

[Beck Bennett]

I look like a ghost?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is incredible.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like a white silhouette.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's the point there? It's like, you only have the features.

[Beck Bennett]

That could be anybody.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tip of the nose, mouth. That is wild.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you get that in the moment? Were you like, oh, thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, this was. Yeah, I looked at it and I was like. I think it was right before closing, so I couldn't demand a reshoot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You weren't like, can we play with the lighting here? This is a little harsh, but, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You see nostrils and eyes. That's all. So Costco, could they.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you dirty?

[Beck Bennett]

I don't think that they even need to take a photo. No, they're not taking it seriously.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not when it's washing it out like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Get some nice lighting on me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no way. No.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, oh. Have you got it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's see this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A little washed out, too.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, a little washed out. And you look deeply unhappy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm very unhappy. I've already told stories of being unhappy at Costco, getting my lice, my license, my. And then what else? What was the other at the farmer's market? Yeah, yeah. I'm just. I'm going nuts. I'm going crazy over here. Fully.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, I feel like I should redirect the conversation until we. You get. Before you get in some sort of trouble.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, sure. Yeah, yeah. Redirect.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, this could just lead to more problems on the podcast, and I. But I don't know where to go from here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, problems are fun. You know, it's. It's marketable, it's viral. It's. It's.

[Beck Bennett]

It's conflict. There are sparks. Sparks fly. People love to see these. It's essentially one of these debates.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

So we'll see what happens.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, let's see what happens.

[Beck Bennett]

I was excited to have you here on the podcast today.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So excited to be here.

[Beck Bennett]

I thought, certainly Beck has manners. He's been in the industry for a minute, knows how these things work. Absolutely has some sort of decency. The podcast is called I said no gifts. And I imagine you received the famous phone call. Phone calls. We have Anneliese kind of call and leave messages.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just making sure.

[Beck Bennett]

Making sure. Sending letters, emails with the name of the podcast. So I was a little surprised, I was a little floored when you walked into the studio today holding an absolutely gorgeous gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

You're so welcome.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Yeah, well, you know, of course I wasn't gonna bring a gift.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because that was the name of the show and I know you don't want the gifts, but I just, I really couldn't help myself because I was like, maybe this is the gift that changes the podcast. Maybe changes the name of the podcast, changes your attitude, you know, and so I brought a gift. I'm not somebody. I'm usually somebody to be like, like, we don't need to bring a gift. Like, somebody's having you over for dinner and like, oh, you got to bring some wine or something. It's like. Or like a kid's birthday party. No, they don't want another kid's birthday.

[Beck Bennett]

Not happening.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As a parent of a child, too many gifts.

[Beck Bennett]

It's just if the child's related to me, yeah, sure. Otherwise, how many kids birthdays am I going to?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. I mean, only, you know, I could see a lot.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm a magician. I'm a children's magician.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But yeah, I brought a gift, you know.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. It kind of comes down to a lack of control.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I am out of control, as we've found out from the first part of this podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Right. So should we open it here on the podcast?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would love to. I cannot wait.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are you ready?

[Beck Bennett]

Why not?

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[Bridger Weiniger]

There it is.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, and it's in this sleek black bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I found the sexiest bag.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, this is really. This is a nighttime bag. This is where out on the town.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It might have, you know, it might have come with a bottle of champagne initially. You know, now it's in my, my.

[Beck Bennett]

Gift wrap area and it's got kind of a gold tissue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Some brown and a little gold or. Yeah, look at that. That's been used before. That one was fresh.

[Beck Bennett]

This one was fresh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was. Yeah, it's got it. But it's so the crinkle is fresh. That other one was, was already used. Yeah. Oh yeah, look at that. That's a nice sound.

[Beck Bennett]

I know, it's surprisingly nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, then we're reaching. We might as well take out all the tissue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why not get this thing, get it all out. See the tip of it poking out?

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, now I'm reaching in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, there it is. Yay. A wooden spoon for Bridger.

[Beck Bennett]

A huge, huge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is actually a wok spoon for a wok. Do you have a wok?

[Beck Bennett]

I don't have a wok.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, well, you can use it for anything. You could. Honestly, I immediately think of this gift and you could use it for the same purpose. Probably you could leave it in the bathroom and use it to scoop out the toilet.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah, you're pointing to. If the listener's not seeing this, he's pointing to the redneck plunger that we received from Rob Huebel at one point, which is a gun or a toilet plunger shaped like a gun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, like a big old shotgun that.

[Beck Bennett]

Beck was kind of threatening to use before the episode.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I was like, yeah, yeah. I was gonna. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Destroy the studio bathroom and then use.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The shotgun plunger, but I didn't do that. I didn't tempt yet. It's tempting. It's there. But this is a wooden wok spoon created by Kenji J. Lopez. Alt. Do you know who he is?

[Beck Bennett]

I've heard that name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's a chef. He's like a Internet chef personality guy. He's created two James Beard Award winning cookbooks. One is called the Food Lab.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You may have seen it. It's like a big. It's like a encyclopedia. Encyclopedia book of cooking. Like, basically all the principles that one.

[Beck Bennett]

Could want to just kind of lay it all out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Like chopping, sauteing, like, vegetables, meat. Like every different major, like, category of preparing food. I mean, there are some specific recipes, but it's all the basics. And then this other book he came out with is called. It's basically about only recipes to be cooked with a wok.

[Beck Bennett]

And do you have both of these books?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have both of these books and I follow him online. And anytime I'm going to cook something, I will look up the thing I want to cook and his name. And so the Food Lab, his book, what he kind of became famous for, is it breaks down everything to the science of the cooking. So you can understand. He'll be like, this is what's happening with the oil and how it's interacting with this pan or this meat, or this is why you let it sit. Or this is. He'll do experiments like salting a piece of meat like 10 minutes before. 30 minutes before. A day before, like, oh, my God. And seeing how it, like, breaks things down and so you, like, you really. It becomes a sort of, like, science experiment, like, I've only gotten a little bit into. He has so many things online, but, like, it has been. It's. I love him. And he's. The way he talks about food is just so interesting. Right. Exciting. And it's like the stuff he makes. So this. He made. He made this specific spoon because it's like the perfect shape for cooking.

[Beck Bennett]

Has he kind of invented this spoon?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, because a lot of spoons are more like rounded. And so this. This is basically.

[Beck Bennett]

That'll like, go right down.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Like, can I see this?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. And it's also mine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's right handed. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. So please be careful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do. I do want it. I would like to take it back to this also. It's like, like where the bowl is rounded, it kind of, like, it gets a lot of surface area. It, like, it's perfect for a walk.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it's also. I find it to be just a good cooking utensil in general. It is large.

[Beck Bennett]

Are you using it to, like, with regular pans?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And I'm doing, like, some. Some fried rice with this. Oh, fried rice. I just got my own, so. And I got my own. And I thought of you, so I.

[Beck Bennett]

So were you. Did he get you into cooking or.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I was already into cooking, but he was really, like, he, He. He really helped just make it all accessible because, you know, your typical cookbook. I mean, like, there was the. An Allison Roman phase, and then she kind of, you know, fell apart completely emotionally.

[Beck Bennett]

The career got destroyed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The career got destroyed.

[Beck Bennett]

She's never gonna come back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, she's got her own thing going, I think, and she's fine, but she's not the household name.

[Beck Bennett]

She's. No, I mean, we wish her luck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We do, we wish. But it was like, people like the two of them making things accessible and breaking down fun, interesting, sort of complex things and just breaking them down in easy ways.

[Beck Bennett]

So what sort of stuff have you made from him? What has he taught you to make?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have made a. Let's see, a reverse seared tenderloin that I make every Christmas.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, what does that even mean, reversed seared?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It means that you put it in the oven first at about 220 degrees for about, depending on the size of the piece of meat, like two hours, and you get it to a certain temperature and then you take it out and then you what's it called? You sear it afterwards in, like, butter and rosemary and stuff. And the slow cooking it at first allows it to get to be the perfect temperature from edge to edge. So it's like. If you want medium rare, it's perfectly medium rare all the way through, as opposed to sort of just in the middle and sort of well done on the outside. It's sort of like a. What is that? When you put something in a thing of water. Sous vide. Sous vide. Sous vide.

[Beck Bennett]

Sous vide. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of like.

[Beck Bennett]

It's just like sous vide without the sous vide machine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You don't need a big tank. Yeah. I've never done that. But the idea of putting the meat in a bag and then putting it in some water and it's very odd. It's odd. It just. It kind of doesn't really feel like the cooking that I. You know.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Like, there's not like the. It's not like you want some level of tactile or, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Just a thing floating around in water slowly getting hot is kind of gross.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's. Yeah, it's no good.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, outside of, like a noodle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Noodles, fine.

[Beck Bennett]

That's for noodles.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's for noodles, not meat. I don't want my meat floating around in water.

[Beck Bennett]

Kind of swimming through a hot slow cooker, essentially.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah. I've also done some very nice oven, like, crispy potatoes. Oh, I love a crispy potato. You know, you kind of gotta, like, get it into a little bath of baking soda and a lot of salt when you boil it to. I don't know, he breaks it down, soften it to extract all the moisture so that when you put them in the oven, they're, like, really crunchy.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

A lot of crispy potatoes. People don't cook the potato long enough, and then it's, like, crispy and then hard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or you go, like. You try to char too much and then it's all dried out.

[Beck Bennett]

Disgusting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's disgusting. We have to figure out. We have to make it normal. We all have to learn how to do it.

[Beck Bennett]

Enough is enough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Enough is enough. He also got me really into, like a whatchamacallit, like a blt. Just, like, talking about how to do it.

[Beck Bennett]

What's he doing new with a blt?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's just talking about. He's talking about the bread.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That toasts best.

[Beck Bennett]

Which bread?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like a potato.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, sure. Oh, I love a potato bread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Potato bread. And then, like, the type of. Of bacon or, like, you know, make your own mayonnaise or like doing this with tomatoes, like. Yeah, that's a little too. But it's because I've done it and it's. I don't know if it's worth it. Kewpie mayonnaise is fantastic, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, I love a QP mayonnaise. Yes. Delicious.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the little. The cornerstone.

[Beck Bennett]

Some things, you just find a good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One and you don't need to make it yourself.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. BLT can. I mean, every one of those things can go wrong in a big way. Bad tomato, uncooked bacon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

[Beck Bennett]

Crummy bread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I will say with blt, I've kind of gotten to a point where it doesn't feel like a full sandwich to me. I feel like I need a club where I have bacon and turkey and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You need some turkey in there.

[Beck Bennett]

I need some. Or avocado in there. You have to. There has to be a second thing that's substantial.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I understand that, but what about just having two BLTs and just like, going back. Going back. It's not.

[Beck Bennett]

It feels like an incomplete sandwich to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I understand that.

[Beck Bennett]

And I feel like if you put enough bacon in it to be complete, then it becomes a health concern.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yeah. And then you're like, this is not a light summer sandwich that it was meant to be.

[Beck Bennett]

No, this is now. Some things gone wrong in my life, I'm going through something difficult.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, I hear that, but I feel like the turkey just messes with the crunch, salt balance, creaminess thing that's happening. Let me ask you this. Have you. Do you ever. Do you ever have a tomato toast?

[Beck Bennett]

I've never had a tomato toast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. So all the listeners. Tomato toast is something very simple, but it's incredible. So you just take a piece of, really any bread. But I would say sourdough. This is kind of my. I would say my light lunch of the summer.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. This is so good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. This is summertime. Tomatoes, tomato toast.

[Beck Bennett]

Summer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And you put some. You could even. You could. I'll even do a platter. Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Big platter. Tomatoes, bacon, some lettuce, some cheese, some. Excuse me, a little indigestion here. Something was coming up, but nothing popped.

[Beck Bennett]

Mark that for a clip. Cut it out. That's going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's gonna be viral. And so I'll put it all out on a board, but. So the tomato toast is like a toasted piece of sourdough.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So something's A little crunchy, but spongy. And you take some, some mayonnaise, hopefully kewpie mayonnaise, a little lemon, salt and pepper, and just whip that all up together and then put that on the bread and some tomatoes with some salt and pepper. You need the salt and pepper on the tomato to bring out the flavor. Otherwise you're just. You're absolutely blowing it. And you're totally.

[Beck Bennett]

Why did you bother?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, why did you bother? You might as well not have the tomato, throw it away. And it's. That it's simple and you put it on there and the. The mayonnaise combination, you know, with a little lemon salt and pepper.

[Beck Bennett]

That sounds incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's incredible. It's honestly, honestly. It's honestly better than a blt. Wow. Yes, yes. And like. Like to go back to Kenji, he'll do something like, here's a tomato sandwich, two pieces of. I don't know exactly what it's called, but it's like Japanese milk toast, I.

[Beck Bennett]

Think, is what it's called. Oh, I love. Yes, Delicious bread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And he's like, he'll do something where he like takes the two of them, sautes the two pieces, right. Takes the sauteed side, puts some mayonnaise and tomato and puts them on the inside. So the outside is fluffy, but the inside, oh my God, you have a seared buttery crunch that goes along with the tomato. And it's like so simple.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He does these. He does a lot of things that are just very simple. But like my. So good.

[Beck Bennett]

It feels like he's just reversing a lot of things. Yeah, he's reversing stuff around, flipping things around.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So that's why, you know, and I didn't want to bring you the cookbook as well because I didn't want it to look like product placement. I wanted it to be natural. I wanted to set you on your journey and wherever you're gonna. You know, I didn't wanna, like, I didn't want you to have the pressure of, like, now I have to cook all these things.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, my God. It would be a nightmare for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The worst. You don't want to give somebody a job as a gift. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So that can be displayed, that can be used in any fashion you want.

[Beck Bennett]

Weapon. I mean, last night I needed a. I mean, I baked a pie and I didn't. I kind of revealed myself as someone who didn't have a pie. What is this thing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pie scooper.

[Beck Bennett]

Scooper. A pie serving tool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Is it the same for cake? Cause I have one, and we got one.

[Beck Bennett]

It's the same for cake. It's kind of a triangle to get in the slice there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A pie server.

[Beck Bennett]

And I learned my lesson in the worst way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What did you have? Did you have, like a. Just a big. Just a chopping knife?

[Beck Bennett]

You want to know what I use is a cheese slicer. You know, the thing that's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are you talking about?

[Beck Bennett]

The handheld cheese slicer. That's like kind of a big spoon. Humiliating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

With the little shaving device on it. When you said a cheese slicer, I thought of the old school, like, piece of marble with the wire thing on the hinge. And I was like, what.

[Beck Bennett]

What were you doing? Why didn't you just use your hand?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That seems so problematic, so challenging.

[Beck Bennett]

No. I don't know why. I guess that cheese slicer has its place, but not serving pie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no. It's too rounded.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's like. It's half the size of a slice of pie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

So now you're just. I should have just used my hand.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I would use a chef's. A chef's knife.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, that's very stylish. I would say very kind of edgy and dangerous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And it may not bend as well. Get into the pan as well.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. But at least it's covering the whole bottom thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Exactly. What kind of pie was it?

[Beck Bennett]

It was a s' more pie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Beck Bennett]

About once a year around this time, I start thinking, I need a s'. More.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But I'm not gonna build a fire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. And it's not. It's not right.

[Beck Bennett]

So I made this s' more pie that was delicious, but it was a reminder that, like, a s' more is about two by two of those ingredients. And a s' more pie is like a half pound of chocolate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a lot that you're eating, so by the time you're done with it, you're like, oh, I. I've done something wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, the whole pie.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You eat the whole pie. I've done something wrong is a natural feeling.

[Beck Bennett]

I should reveal that I was alone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was alone.

[Beck Bennett]

I was crying the whole time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, that sounds about right. That sounds like the right situation.

[Beck Bennett]

No, just one small slice was like, oh, what's this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But it was. It was delicious. I made a meringue for the first time. Also realize, oh, I don't own a blowtorch, which is a nice kitchen thing to have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have a blowtorch that's, you know.

[Beck Bennett]

You don't use it often, but when it comes time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never used it.

[Beck Bennett]

You're going to. And when you do, you're going to be like, thank God I had this around.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank God I have this torch.

[Beck Bennett]

Because last night I had to use. I had to broil in the oven.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's dangerous.

[Beck Bennett]

And the dish was glass.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

The fear I had.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Because as a kid, we had a. We had a glass thing left on the stovetop, and it exploded in the kitchen. It felt like a pipe bomb had blown up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is. Yeah. That's so dangerous.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, glass everywhere.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it was sitting on a burner, and it was. It was heating up.

[Beck Bennett]

My mom really screwed up that day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My mom really fucking blew it. What was your mom thinking? She just put it on a burner.

[Beck Bennett]

This lady was a mess.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's wrong with your mother?

[Beck Bennett]

It's time that somebody says the truth about Debbie Weiniger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

She was a disaster as a parent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank God somebody finally said it.

[Beck Bennett]

Putting her children in danger every morning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That's wild.

[Beck Bennett]

But it was. It genuinely was like a traumatic experience, like glass blowing up. So last night, I put this thing in the broiler. Absolute panic the entire time. But then a perfectly toasted meringue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's amazing. I mean, the broiler. You leave it in there 30 seconds too long, and you're done.

[Beck Bennett]

You cannot take your eye off of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You cannot. And so you can look through. Can you look through the.

[Beck Bennett]

I was looking through the oven, which is. I closed the oven, and so we're looking through the glass with the. Which is not an efficient. Why has the oven industry not figured out how to make that glass perfect to look through?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Clear.

[Beck Bennett]

Why? Yeah, why is it still a tinted window?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. I don't know.

[Beck Bennett]

What privacy are we protecting?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I don't even have a window.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, you have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cause I moved into a house that had a fancy stove.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no. You have no way of looking into the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No way of knowing what temperature the oven. I have to get a little thing to hang. This is like a fancy French stove. Oh, no. And I'm like, I don't want this. I don't.

[Beck Bennett]

This is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nobody want. Like, the burners are on. The stove are so hot. If you leave the pan on for too long without the proper oil or whatever, it's like it's torched.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no, that's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's such a delicate thing. It's like. I'm like Julia Childs.

[Beck Bennett]

That's an oven from the 30s.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, ooh, look how rustic and cool it is.

[Beck Bennett]

That was my first oven in la, you know, where I was like, I'm putting this thing in the oven. I have no idea what the temperature.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is, and I can't see it. It.

[Beck Bennett]

Good luck to everybody.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. No way. I'm. We moved into this house two years ago and it was like, wow, cool. And I had. I've had to get just tuned into it, you know, to know it. And now that I know it, I'm ready to let it go.

[Beck Bennett]

That's going to tear your family apart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It might. It really might.

[Beck Bennett]

Life ruining.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I need to be able to at least get a peek. Yeah, I needed a peek. Just give me a little peek.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just want to know, you know, especially you want to know if something's in there.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This oven is below the waist.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh. It's absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's accessible to children. My child could come by. He can't get a peek. He doesn't know that something's in there. He's going to open that thing, put his in to burn his face.

[Beck Bennett]

Climb into the oven.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, he's going to climb right in. And he doesn't know it's 400 degrees in there. He's toast. Literally. It's a safety concern. It's a real hazard.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. That really. For me. First appliance I'd get rid of. You're gonna get rid of that thing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think I'm gonna get rid of.

[Beck Bennett]

That at some point. You're gonna say, enough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Exactly what I was thinking about.

[Beck Bennett]

Who do you think you are? Beck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Get the oven that you can see.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That you're not Kenji J. Lopez, alt.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no, no. You're not. I think Kenji J. Lopez, alt. Would.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He wouldn't want this.

[Beck Bennett]

No. He'll get in touch with you. Kenji, reach out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kenji, reach out. I'm giving your spoons away on podcasts. A little support would be nice.

[Beck Bennett]

Just let Beck know that it's okay to have glass to see in for the baked products.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you, Kenji.

[Beck Bennett]

Thank you, Kenji.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you, Kenji.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But ultimately I had to close the thing because I was afraid of having glass blown into my face. And it all worked out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It all worked out, and it all worked out. You ate the pie crying by yourself and got a stomachache and everything was perfect. I like that you cooked a s' mores pie. I've never cooked. I've only made a strawberry rhubarb pie, which is what my family did growing up, because My grandma would make it right. And I love a fruit pie, but I mean, more than a fruit pie. I love, like, a French silk.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, I love a chocolate pie. Of any Snickers pie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A Reese's pie. Can you imagine?

[Beck Bennett]

What's the hat?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you never heard of this?

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You see them at the stores. I've never heard of anybody. I've never heard of the idea of somebody making one of these at home. Nobody. I feel like they can't be homemade. But you see them at bakeries, certain restaurants, they'll have a Snickers pie.

[Beck Bennett]

It'll be like a chocolate with caramel and peanuts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Some nougat. I don't know. I don't know how you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that's a lot of ingredients you're making. I need to, like. I need to make one pie filling. Yeah, essentially.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

And then I can maybe make a topping. The meringue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I could maybe do a peanut butter thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think a salty sort of whipped cream topping.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, a salty whipped cream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My mom used to make ice cream pies for our birthday with a Oreo crust.

[Beck Bennett]

Delicious.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Incredible.

[Beck Bennett]

I love a. I. I won't do a regular pastry crust. It's too much stress for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's too much stress. Is it too hard to get it right? Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

The, like, the bar is so high. Every recipe is always like, 50 steps. You have to have ice cubes, blah, blah, blah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I haven't done the pie crust a lot, but from being around the pie makers, Thanksgiving, etcetera, It always. The marker is the crust. I feel like it's never the filling. It's like, did we get the crust right?

[Beck Bennett]

And if you screw up the crust, then you just have a bland, like, paste that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's floppy on the bottom. Too crunchy, just crumbling apart.

[Beck Bennett]

It's very much like a sandwich. If you use bad bread for a sandwich.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

That's half the thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's half the thing. It's all about the bread.

[Beck Bennett]

It's all about the bread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a famous restaurant here in.

[Beck Bennett]

Restaurant here in Los. Great meatball sub.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But it's not about the meatballs.

[Beck Bennett]

It's about the bread at that place. It's all about the bread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's all about the bread.

[Beck Bennett]

Baked fresh daily.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's really important. I just want. It's important for more people to know that, too. You want to make a good sandwich, get some good bread.

[Beck Bennett]

Truly, I really feel like this is something that, like, just as a society in the last 10 to 15 years, we've realized. Oh, right. That ingredient needs to be good too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

When you're making a burrito, the tortilla should be good because that's something you're still eating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's the foundation.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I kind of felt this way. Well, he, Kenji helped me with this as well. And not to just talk about meat products with, with Kenji and whatever, but like I, I got into burgers because I was. Oh. And I make a smash burger, which is very popular now. But I was way ahead of the curve. And, and I was like, very. I was like, what are these burgers that we're eating at home, like at people's houses? These hockey pucks.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

These dried out hockey pucks with a big like half melted piece of cheddar on it.

[Beck Bennett]

Flavorless.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Flavorless. And it's just like, it's like a big dry meatball. I was like, this is enough. Like we can do. It's not that hard.

[Beck Bennett]

It's one of the most simple foods to make.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, it's really easy. And all you need is some good meat.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I like some onions, pickles, a sauce.

[Beck Bennett]

Some sort of salt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Some sort of salt. I think for me, a melty American cheese doesn't have to be a Kraft Single, but they have all different variations now. And a Martin's potato roll.

[Beck Bennett]

Delicious. That's all you need.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's just the good, simple ingredients. And people have come over to my house and had these burgers and been like, oh my God, how did you do this?

[Beck Bennett]

Did it take you a minute to figure out how to make them properly? Did you have to like buy an iron to smash it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I got the iron. I got the right spatula and everything. The right tools. Yeah, you need the right tools.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But, you know, I think that's one of the things that got me into cooking was like, you can make these nostalgic amazing, whether it's a grilled cheese cheeseburger, like just a good salad, like some good vegetable, like a good. Just roasted chicken. These basic things that you can make at home very simply and have it taste better than anything you've ever had.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was like, we need to know how to do these things.

[Beck Bennett]

And yet I've never cooked a single thing in my home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Really.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, outside of scrambled eggs. I bake. You bake, But I really don't. I guess during the pandemic I made meatballs. A few. Well, this is going to change everything. I'm going to be frying up rice. I'm going to be making pad th.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm gonna be all over the place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're gonna be scooping it all around. I mean. Yeah, that's. They're gonna find a lot of. A lot of good uses for that big old spoon.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I'm very.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a right handed spoon, just so you know, they come left and right handed.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, interesting. Oh, because. Yeah, I guess the, the curve of this thing requires. I mean, a left handed person would be absolutely rude. They would be rude. Now what are you pointing there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's not.

[Beck Bennett]

It's very cute. It's almost like. Looks like a kind of cartoon paintbrush or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And you know, and there's actually something else in the back. Oh, there is just a little bit. Bit. Just a little bit of something. That is some wood oil. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know that I've ever heard of wood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I didn't want to leave you with. And. And now I'm giving you a job, which is what. And I thought about that when I was putting it in here. I was like, now I'm giving him a whole job. And I did. I. That is.

[Beck Bennett]

You're changing a lifestyle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And you don't have to use the oil, but if you use the spoon, you might want to put some oil on it and rub it in there.

[Beck Bennett]

This is for the spoon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For the spoon.

[Beck Bennett]

Before you even use it the first time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You don't know. You can use this for a while.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, you don't want to put it in the dishwasher. You don't want to soak it in water. The wooden spoon, of course. But when it starts to dry out a little bit, you take the scratchy side of your little sponge there and you rub some of that in there.

[Beck Bennett]

And how do I wash this properly? Just with a little bit of light soap and water.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. Yeah. Just a little.

[Beck Bennett]

See, I would have put this in the dishwasher.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, Bridger. No. You would put wood in the dishwasher.

[Beck Bennett]

I'll put whatever I want in the dishwasher.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll put wood in the dishwasher. You'll ruin your woods.

[Beck Bennett]

I'll put my wedding dress in the dishwasher.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, that, of course, that actually does work.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a little secret people don't know about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do. I do all my dresses in the dishwasher. Not my. Not my shorts and shirts.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no. That would be ridiculous. But you drag a big dress out of the dishwasher, hot and wet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's perfect. It fits perfectly.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, well, I've never cleaned something or used wood oil on anything and I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don'T expect you to.

[Beck Bennett]

This is in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a gift. I'm g being like, he'll never use it. But I couldn't responsibly give you this beautifully crafted wooden spoon without the proper tools for you.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, maybe I throw some of this on, lather up and lay out in the backyard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's kind of what I was thinking a little bit.

[Beck Bennett]

I feel like my body, my skin could take that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I feel like it works for the wood. Why not Bridger?

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[Beck Bennett]

This is in the same territory as a. What is the other thing that's like a nightmare that you have to season? A iron?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, a cast iron.

[Beck Bennett]

Cast iron.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have a cast iron pan and it is very frustrating. I kind of hate it. There are a lot of recipes that are like, you need a cast iron for this.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. And it is in pet territory where it's like you have to take care of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And it can rust and uh huh.

[Beck Bennett]

And you have to season it. What does that even mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't really know. It's misleading because I thought when I was given my first cast iron pan, they were like, you have to season it and you also don't want to wash it. Because I thought like seasoning it was like keeping the flavors in it from the previous meals.

[Beck Bennett]

That's what I would assume.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Seasons it, it, it flavors it or something. But I don't think that's what it is. Is it like you're like, you're just creating a coating so you're. It's like oil. Oh, oil that you're like kind of. Honestly that's not a good explanation. But it's like after you clean it, you're supposed to put some oil in it and then put it in the oven and it like bakes into it, I think, and like, like fills in the pores or something.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't believe in that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't really believe in it either.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm not doing that at My house now I have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have just straight up. What are they called? Metal pants. You know, the silver ones. Sure.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The basic ones, all clad is the brand. And it's not easy, but it's not as challenging as cast iron. And it's also. It doesn't have the anxiety of the whatchamacallit, the scratch, the scorcher ring, this non stick. The non stick.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, the non stick.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You never know it, though, because you put one of those in the oven above 400 degrees, you don't know what kind of chemicals you're releasing. I don't know.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. It's a very, like, potential cancer issue, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it is, but it's like, that's something. It's like you see that, you read about it online, and I'm like, is it real?

[Beck Bennett]

And then I ignore you ignore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I think, well, we're doing fine.

[Beck Bennett]

Cancer's on its way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All the things there's. Everything gives you cancer and. But also so many more things used to give you cancer, I think.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah, Maybe cut out some of these.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All the fumes that the factories were putting out in the streets, you know, and what. What the factories were putting in the water, all that stuff.

[Beck Bennett]

And maybe nonstick pans are my smoking, you know, it's my dirty little habit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And that's nothing compared to smoking.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's mommy's treat is the nonstick pan.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mommy needs her nonstick.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm so sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kids, go play. Just gonna just burn that on the stove and just smell it up.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, I'm very excited about potentially using the oil at some point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And then using the wood spoon for something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For something. Who knows? Well, it's.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a. I love a fried rice. Maybe it's time I tried it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I think so.

[Beck Bennett]

I love. Because good fried rice, the. The gap between good and bad fried rice is massive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It really is.

[Beck Bennett]

If you get a good one, unlike anything so good. What do you put in yours?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Leftovers. It's like. Honestly, my fried rice is like, scrappy. Not to be served to guest fried rice.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's often for my son, for me, my wife, just kind of leftovers. Some like some chopped up cabbage, some. What else? We got some carrots, maybe some peas. I don't. I don't do that. I don't do the peas. I don't know. I said that some people do.

[Beck Bennett]

How many leftover peas do you have?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know leftover peas. I don't like peas. Don't eat them. I'll do some. Some Cucumbers on top. Crunch.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, and a little cilantro with it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, absolutely. And maybe some avocado if we have it.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no, avocado is wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Avocado's wrong.

[Beck Bennett]

I feel like. Where are you putting the avocado in this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just kind of like on top, you know, and you kind of take a little scoop. This is not, this is not. Again, this is not how I would serve it to guests.

[Beck Bennett]

This is how you would serve it to a dog.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. A three and a half year old child dog. That's slop. A lot of the stuff I do cook at home, I'm like, this is disgusting. This is not for other people. You know what I mean? It's survival. This is healthy. Ish. Keeping things interesting for me and my family. It's different. Different. Oh, my God. Cooking for a fam is a whole.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a lot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I. I do a lot of the cooking.

[Beck Bennett]

Are you cooking daily?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Eh, I try to, I try to. Every other day.

[Beck Bennett]

Every other day. And is it like a plan ahead or is it like, this is what I'll make tonight?

[Bridger Weiniger]

A little bit of both. I try to keep it interesting, do new stuff, but often it'll just be like a go to, like some pasta.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A canned sauce or a, you know, jarred sauce.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe some, some. Some turkey or some spinach that I'm adding to it.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, that sort of thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Do you get complaints?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, not complaints. Just, you know, well, of course, for my son, he'll be like, ah, yucky, like, or whatever. And. And then my wife will. Jesse will be kind of more like.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, it's good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I mean, it's good. What do you want? Like, yes. Yeah. This is like one of these classic things we have like once a week and like. But do you have a big winner.

[Beck Bennett]

That you can count on?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's really just the pasta.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what's gonna make everybody happy every single time. It's gonna be on the table on time, you know? Cause it's not new. It's easy.

[Beck Bennett]

Right? So, yeah, the thing that will really set me off. And I. I meant I control myself, of course, but when I bake something and my boyfriend says, it was good, you should do this with it next time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's like, well, just say you didn't like it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Or don't. Don't talk to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Just. I know that's something that I've had to adjust as an adult is like you don't need to give notes to your partner. You know, you can just be, like, amazing and, like, you know, they'll figure it out or they won't. Doesn't matter. Like, it's not worth the note.

[Beck Bennett]

If you have your little baking idea, why don't you try that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah. Surprisingly, that would be worse. The next day, he's baking the same thing. Be like, see, it's a little dumb. Different. You notice how it's a little different? I see how it's a little. Not as soggy on the bottom. Yeah, that probably would. That would be sexual.

[Beck Bennett]

End of a relationship.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would be. End of relationship. I was thinking the same thing. My Jessie will. She won't give. I mean, if anything, it'd be like, less salt, which I. Which I have. That was an old note, which I really drawn back on. It'll be, oh, it was so good. You don't have to use every dish in the kitchen. Or another reaction. Be like, I'm only doing half of these dishes. And I'm like, okay, you know what you don't have? I mean, she. That's a constant, you know, dishes in the household. Figuring out the balance and everything. I. I would never expect her to have to do all the dishes because sometimes I use more than I want.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. And it's a horrible job.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a horrible job. And like, just. And, you know, it's not as fulfilling as making something like, yes, this is delicious. You feel fed us, right? But the. The whole. The criticism of you don't have to.

[Beck Bennett]

Use it was great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you didn't do it. Right. You didn't do it how I would like for you to do it or, like, can you clean as you go? Oh, that's a tough thing there. Yeah, I cannot. I'm like, I'm. I'm full. Just survival mode.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I. Let's see. I am a clean as I go, and it's very satisfying. You know, by the end, everything is done, and you feel like, wow, look at me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just. Afterwards, food is on the table, but the kitchen is fucked. It's totally.

[Beck Bennett]

It feels like to me now, I'm like, oh, am I a psychopath? Am I? Someone's gonna get away with murder because I cover my tracks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

That's what's now clicking for me and you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's clicking for you now is you could get away with it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you could. I'm now capable of the perfect crime just through learning to bake and clean up after myself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's A really good. That's a nice. It's kind of like, I'm thinking like Dexter style TV show.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The baker or something.

[Beck Bennett]

The cleaner upper after himself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And it's like. And it's like a cherry pie, but it's blood and you've got the big knife and you're like eating the knife and you're like, it's yummy and it's blood or something. That's a real cool show.

[Beck Bennett]

This is an ideas podcast, first and foremost, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Beck Bennett]

Course. You didn't see the movie Bring Her Back, did you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. What movie is that?

[Beck Bennett]

It's a tough movie to watch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is it a new movie?

[Beck Bennett]

It's a horror movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, Bring Her Back.

[Beck Bennett]

About a woman who's trying to bring her daughter back from the dead using her foster children. And it. Oh, it's a tough one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds complicated.

[Beck Bennett]

But I bring it up because of the. Putting a knife in your mouth. There's a scene where you watch somebody essentially eat a knife. Oh, no, I'm so sorry to everyone else.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't want to see that. That. That's not a good idea. Bring Her Back. And was it bad? Was it rough? Because it was not good.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, it's a very good. It's a very well effective movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. It got you. It's tough in that way.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's not like a crummy horror movie. It's like artful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But also potentially the most disturbing thing I've ever watched. But watching somebody essentially try to consume a butcher knife, it's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't need it. I don't need it. Like the. What's the Ari Aster.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yes. It's in that category.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The one. Which one? The one where, you know, the guys are.

[Beck Bennett]

Midsummer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I was being very articulate. They're all. The jump on off the cliff. The head smashing.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, the head smashing. Like a watermelon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. Mean. It's still there. It's still fresh in my. My eyes.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah, they almost. It's almost like a fair style where you hit the bell, the thing to shoot up to the bell, but instead we're hitting someone's head on a rock.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That movie. O. I could just feel the. They can just feel the flies buzzing around the carcasses that.

[Beck Bennett]

They're movies. I mean, I mean, speaking of. The first one was hereditary where the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Head can't clean off.

[Beck Bennett]

Stick your head out the window, pop right off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What the hell?

[Beck Bennett]

And that's like in the first 15 minutes or something. And then you just have to live with that feeling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You see, I'm more of a. I love a. Like a get out.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, sure. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who doesn't love a get out? Classic. And then, like, drag me to hell.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, I love Drag Me to hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cabin in the woods. These are fun.

[Beck Bennett]

Drag Me to Hell has a tough, I believe, stapler scene.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Somebody putting stapler, like, in the head. It's, like, funny. It's the witch lady, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's. She's in her car or something, and.

[Beck Bennett]

She'S a mad hag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's a mad hag putting curses on people, blood shooting out of her nose or whatever happens.

[Beck Bennett]

She, like, is mad that somebody, like, doesn't buy something from her.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She didn't get a loan. She didn't get at the bank.

[Beck Bennett]

She just wanted to open her small business.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. She just want to open a little business. And our protagonist is like, no, I guess she. No, I think her boss is like, just tell her, no, you want to keep your job. You tough enough up. And she has to tell this mad.

[Beck Bennett]

Hag side of small business owners. Ultimately, that's what that movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It really is. Yeah. And that's why it works, because it's about something.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's about. What's it about?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, what's it. What's it about?

[Beck Bennett]

It's about opening a small business. About getting a small business loan.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Exactly. And if not, what it actually feels like to try to get one of those.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And ultimately you kind of have to drag someone to hell and become something you didn't feel like doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. A little demon.

[Beck Bennett]

A little demon ramen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A little. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, I feel like we should play a game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Great.

[Beck Bennett]

We're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse. But I need a number between 1 and 10 from you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

8.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. I need to do some light calculating with the number. So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want while I leave.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, great. And I'm gonna promote. I'm gonna do this by myself.

[Beck Bennett]

You're doing it all alone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Okay, so just a reminder. I'm Beck Bennett, and let's see what's coming up. I'm in this movie, Superman, that's coming out on July 11th. It's a fantastic movie. I play Steve Lombard. He's a sports writer at the Daily Planet. He's in the comic books. You can go check him out. Check out his Wikipedia page if you want to learn more about him. Funny guy, kind of an obnoxious dude. Makes fun of Clark Kent, hits on the lady. Really fun guy. Incredible movie. If you want to believe in the world and people again, go see Superman. Can I keep playing?

[Beck Bennett]

Can you keep going? Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Okay, great. And then I have a podcast coming. My own podcast. Can you believe it?

[Beck Bennett]

Beep all of this out. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What'd you say?

[Beck Bennett]

Everything you say for the next 30 seconds will be beeped. Because now I didn't realize I had a competitor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have a competitor?

[Beck Bennett]

What do I do?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm pulling viewers.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's called what's our Podcast with Kyle Mooney.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

On the headgun. Sorry, Another competitor.

[Beck Bennett]

I know. Another network. And now it's like, I didn't even know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never promoted a podcast. My own podcast before. I don't know the rules. Maybe I'm breaking all of them. But it's a podcast where we don't know what our podcast is about, and we have guests on to recommend something, and then we give it a shot with them in the moment.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, I love that. Thank you. Can you say, give us an example?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, let's see. We had Claudia Odourdiano.

[Beck Bennett]

I love Claudia. One of the. All time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's the. And she was like, your podcast should be about jeans. And then so we switched studios. We went to another studio across the hall, and we did our podcast about jeans, where we just talked about jeans and our association with jeans and how we feel about jeans. And we had these, like, segments, like sexiest jeans, like, coolest jeans, and we talk about those things. And then we kind of.

[Beck Bennett]

That's incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. We give it a shot for like, 20 minutes, and then we kind of afterwards go, how did that go? I think we'll keep looking and keep looking for our friends podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

I really like that idea.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. But that will be beeped. So the listeners, like, well, what were they talking about? What was so racist that Beck said that we had to just essentially cut it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I try to go viral and sometimes I miss the mark.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you push the envelope. That's what you have to do. Okay, everybody do whatever Beck just told you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, just Superman.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, just Superman. The other thing, ignore. This is how we're gonna play gift or a curse. I'm gonna name three things, and you're going to tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, of course.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. Number one. And these are all from our patreon listeners today. This is from Aaron Gift or a curse? John Cougar Mellencamp gift. Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know the name alone. Cougar Melon Camp. I mean, that's like three things. A cougar, a melon, and a camp. It's Cougar Melon Camp. I mean, can you. You just like, think of the place like, welcome to Cougar Melon Camp. Like, that name alone has not even been unpacked enough. It's fantastic. It's such a rock and roll name. It's almost like. It's kind of like. Makes me think of Finn Wolfhard, like Wolfhard as a last name. What a sex in million.

[Beck Bennett]

Really? That feels calculated.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it really does. His parents toughen him up. But John Cougar Mellencamp, the name alone, I think is a good. And you know, I'm somebody who loves music.

[Beck Bennett]

What an interesting quality.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I know. I love. I also love food.

[Beck Bennett]

Wait, we got stop for a minute.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very interesting. I like clothes. What else? I like sleeping tv. Very interesting. But I honestly couldn't name a song, but I know I've rocked out to his music and it's kind of like. Kind of makes em like it's. It almost kind of feels like a little old school Van Morrison. Kind of like something my parents would put on while they're having a barbecue, but I really don't know.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I feel like I like his music and it's more of a gift. What. What is the right answer?

[Beck Bennett]

Unfortunately, wrong curse. And I. I have to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think I don't know much about him as a person though, either, so I could have.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, yes. This is why it's a curse. I've been very public about how much I hate the song Jack and Diane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. See, I think I'm okay with it.

[Beck Bennett]

This may be my number one least favorite song of all time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is it because of the way it sounds or the. The lyrics? Both.

[Beck Bennett]

I think it's kind of Little Diddy about Jake. One of the all time worst pieces of music.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe my number one. I think it's a tie between that and Red Red Wine. The COVID by UB40.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. So this is. This is a whole category of my music that I listened to my parents play growing up.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've poured both of those songs. What do you. How do you feel about. I am. Yes. Thank you for saying that. How do you feel about Bruce Springsteen love? Okay. Because I feel like a little like Jack and Diane. It feels a little spring.

[Beck Bennett]

Jack and Diane feels like store Brand version of Bruce Springsteen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A copy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Where it's like, let's do that. Yeah, let's. Americana. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Chili dogs. Let's go for it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

But this becomes a curse because maybe he's a nice guy. Maybe he's got other music that I wouldn't hate, but that, you know, you stop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There you go.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, thank you. I'm not entering that haunted house. And I hope he's not a nice guy, but if he is, my apologies to John. And maybe it's an Oppenheimer situation where he's like, what have I done?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Right, right, right, right. You know, he was a good guy. Good intention. But then he created something.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Created something that he didn't know it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Was gonna be that big.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Opened Pandora's box and has now kind of ruined my life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But to your point, I've never heard anybody say I love J on Cougar Melon. Like, doesn't. Never. I know. I've never heard that. When people talking about their favorite artists or albums. Cougar Melon Camp.

[Beck Bennett]

Do not know a single Melon Camper. I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

I. I can't imagine he's one that inspires a lot of that sort of hardcore fandom, but I could be wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. He's the. He's a copier.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Okay, so you've gotten one wrong so far. Good luck with the rest of the game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hey, I'm okay with getting them wrong.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, we'll see. Next. This is from Heidi. Gift or a curse? Washing your hands next to someone in a public restroom and performatively lathering longer than usual. This kind of goes back to a little bit what we were talking about earlier.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I mean that specifically the feeling. I'm gonna break this down. The feeling of needing to impress somebody next to you, I think is a curse. But the result of the actual washing your hand because of that and fully cleaning them is a gift.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. But you have to commit to one or the other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm gonna say then it. Then you know I'm gonna say it's a curse.

[Beck Bennett]

Wrong. This is a gift. And if you should. Have you had the logic there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I had the logic.

[Beck Bennett]

You get to be on stage for a minute, you get to perform, and what happens. The social pressure leads to you cleaning your hands.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. However. Okay, but here's my thing. The reason I switched to curse is because I don't think that you need to perform the washing to actually wash your hands. I bet if you're somebody who would succumb to the pressures of, you know, the virtue signaling of washing your hands for the whole birthday song twice or whatever it is, and really getting in.

[Beck Bennett]

All the crap twice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Isn't that what it was? Happy birthday twice.

[Beck Bennett]

God, I haven't been washing my hands enough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Five years ago, that was the whole thing. I don't wash my hands enough. But, you know, I just think that you're probably gonna clean them well enough. You know what I mean? And what you really need to do is get down to why you're doing what you're doing and who you're doing it for. And if you're doing it for some stranger next to you in a bathroom, then you have some things to look at.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, you don't get the point. Frankly, I don't care.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, no, I. I know that this is cutthroat. I know that this is not a debate.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not a discussion. There's a right and wrong. We can talk about it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But of course, there's a very high standard, and you have not met it yet, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that is. That. That is. That goes for the rest of my life. There's a standard that I don't meet, and that's okay. And that feels good. So let's see what happens.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's see what happens with the third one. This is from Candace. Gift her a couple curse when they say the movie title in the movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. That's a curse.

[Beck Bennett]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because it's. You're stuck. You know, it's like you're boiling this whole movie down. It's like you have the. You have the title. You're watching the movie, and then they say it and you're like, oh, God, like, couldn't you just like. So that's. That's what I'm watching here is the title Dragon. You know what I mean? Like, I can't just be watching the movie and it's called something. You have to be like, you know, I can't think of a fake movie name and then say it.

[Beck Bennett]

But.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or like, I guess. Well, I guess welcome to Jurassic park was pretty cool.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, interesting. But that kind of isn't quite the title.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not.

[Beck Bennett]

Welcome to Jurassic park, which would be a great title of a movie. Another movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It would be. It would be. But yeah. Can you think of an example where they drop the title in a way that it's like, oh, do you know.

[Beck Bennett]

I actually watched the other night was a Mike Lee movie, Secrets and Lies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And at one point somebody says secrets and lies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And how did you feel when you heard that?

[Beck Bennett]

Well, are you done answering?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, are you done?

[Beck Bennett]

Do you want to talk through your thing anymore?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no. I'm. I think I'm committing to curse. Curse.

[Beck Bennett]

You failed the game. You failed the game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

God.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally straight. Truck out.

[Beck Bennett]

0Ow. That's got a sting. Ow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ow. I was just hoping for one. For one right answer just to like, now I'm gonna walk away being like, me and Bridger did not connect. There was no clicking off balance like there was. And that's what I came for, was just a nice connected time.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's been very cold.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's been very cold. He doesn't cook. He's going to use the wood oil for his wooden. His rock hard body. Guess wooden didn't quite work there, but he's going to. But that's okay. As long as you use the oil. I'm happy.

[Beck Bennett]

This episode is going to be labeled a misfire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Great. Huge misfire. And that's. It's hard to hear.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But you tried. I tried.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I, you know, I'm used to it. Like I said, it's okay. You know, it's really just about having fun and just kind of being yourself.

[Beck Bennett]

Trying your best.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Trying your best. Not trying too hard. Not trying too hard for other people.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, now I'm not sitting down here going like, I'm just letting it out, you know, I'm sure I'm just being myself. And I hope that's okay. I wasn't coming in here being like guns blazing or anything. I was just, just being the bee.

[Beck Bennett]

And you kind of fell on your face. And you'll learn from that. And that's part of the process.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. And that's. In this business, in this business, you've gotta learn. You learn on camera.

[Beck Bennett]

You have to learn on camera in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Front of, in front of your audiences. That's what people love to see.

[Beck Bennett]

Somebody just kind of making their way through the process.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Charlie Chaplin.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Left and right, sloppy as hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Falling all over the place.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, it is a gift. You know, this is a nice little. It's a little wink to the, the observant viewer. You know, somebody's gonna say, oh, I remember the title of the movie. And now they're, oh, what an interesting Easter egg.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

I got to hear the title of the movie that I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Know.

[Beck Bennett]

It also might be a nice. Like maybe you forgot the title of the movie. And for the last hour and A half. You've been kind of sweating, trying to remember. You're like, this is ruining the movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a really good movie. But what is this called?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I wish I could enjoy this. And then you get it, and you're like, okay. At least the next 20 minutes or so will be. I can unpack and figure it out. And then when I see the movie again, hopefully I won't forget.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's a nice reminder.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's good writing of what you're watching.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bringing you in.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What if it's the last thing? What if it's, like, the ending?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know why I'm thinking of Gothica. I don't know if I've never seen that movie.

[Beck Bennett]

I believe at the end, I could.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At the end, seeing. Is it Halle Berry?

[Beck Bennett]

I think Halle turns to camera and goes Gothia.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Now that's a Gothica. That was a big old Gothica.

[Beck Bennett]

Credits roll.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

That was the one mistake they made with that movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. I know. It's like. It just. You got.

[Beck Bennett]

Everything's got to be just right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Make one mistake, and the movie's gonna crap.

[Beck Bennett]

But she kind of demanded. In contract, I get to say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I get to say Gothika at the end.

[Beck Bennett]

She was thinking about the audience.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Thinking I need to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It kind of sounds like. Well, it kind of sounds like. Gotcha.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a new prank show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gothica. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Kind of a goth, gothy prank show. The host is in black lipstick and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Platform boots, and they're like, Gothica. And then, like. Right. That's what they say at the end when they got you, they turn into.

[Beck Bennett]

A cloud of bats and fly away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So many ideas. We have a TV show.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. We got a TV show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or two TV shows.

[Beck Bennett]

And I can't remember either of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, the. That was. That was one. The Gothic show. And then there was the baker.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That could be a movie, too.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. I feel like. But let's. You know, let's do at least three seasons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, of course. Let's make some money.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You got to make a little indication.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Make a little dough.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. You failed the game. That's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Failed the game.

[Beck Bennett]

Now Annaliese needs to. Anneliese does a gift or curse, which we both have to speak to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, great.

[Beck Bennett]

And this is probably. Look, this is one chance for you to outdo me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, great.

[Beck Bennett]

You might finally get a foot up on me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is the most important part.

[Beck Bennett]

Honestly, Anneliese, what are we doing? Gift Or a curse. Watching a movie you've already seen with someone who's never seen it. Do you want to speak to this or should I?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, well, you know, there's the. We don't need an answer to this, but it's. Is it a movie you like?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm gonna say it is, because you're watching it again with somebody who hasn't seen it. I. Do you have a thought? Do you have something?

[Beck Bennett]

I have a thought.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go ahead. I have a thought, too.

[Beck Bennett]

I think that this is a gift. This is a little. For the next one and a 90 minutes to three hours, you are going to be. You're going to be the smartest person in the room. The person next to you has no idea what's going on. And you're thinking to yourself, this naive idiot, you're like, gothika.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I Gothika there. I Gothika there. And you're about to. I'm about to gothika right here.

[Beck Bennett]

And they're just dumb as rocks for at least the next few minutes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they're going. And you're going, yep. Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. It's such. The power dynamics is so luxurious. You get to just bathe in that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

And I think that's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I completely agree. I was gonna say a gift as well. You know, if it was a curse, you wouldn't be sitting down to watch the movie that you've already watched and being like, I've seen this already. Yeah, it's fun. You're in the driver's seat in a different way. You get to feel. It's almost like, you know, with the wrong person. I wouldn't be this person, of course, but it's almost like you meet. Made the movie.

[Beck Bennett]

You were now part of the filmmaking team.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're like, I showed this to you and I've seen it, and I'm. I am the expert on it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, somebody could. I've definitely been in the position where people would basically go as far as to, like, take full control of the experience.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a good personality.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's a good personality. Talking about the behind the scenes of it and everything, how the shot was done, whatever it may be. But, yeah, I think that for the person who's already seen it, yeah, it's definitely a gift.

[Beck Bennett]

Annalise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're right.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a gift. Oh, thank God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gift.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a gift getting to have that kind of power over anybody. Oh, how delicious. Like you said, you get to see into a future that they don't know exists yet. And also, this is, to me, a little insight. So if it is a movie that you do like and you're with somebody who doesn't like it, then, well, maybe you just learned something about them that you need to kind of stow away for later. That may be the last movie you watch with them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Be like, this is not fun.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe you're gonna break up with them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now if you're more aligned with the movie than the person.

[Beck Bennett]

That's right. Yes, exactly. And we always side with the movies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We always side with the movies in this business.

[Beck Bennett]

Do you know what? This is a brief thing, but something that feels longer than watching a movie with another person to me is showing another person a song. The agony of the three to four minutes of being like, oh, try this. And they're. If they're in the room with you, especially if you're.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not. If you're like, maybe putting on a record and it's in the background, but if you're like, here's. Listen to this song. It is a lot. And you're looking at them, and they're kind of like.

[Beck Bennett]

You'Re getting closer and closer to them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I couldn't agree more. It is so much more intense. Oh, and then. And cause the reaction is. Cause I think with a song, after you listen to a song, like you like a song, you listen to it five, six times, you're like, it gets better every time you're in it. You can feel it. But if you listen to a great song the first time with somebody who's having that experience, you're like, yeah, it's good.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You can't get to that level.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah, you can't. It's never gonna be as gratifying as the movie expects.

[Beck Bennett]

Torture.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Torture of curse. That could be a curse.

[Beck Bennett]

You won the second game. I won it as well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We all won.

[Beck Bennett]

We all won.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're all winners. We're gonna. Is great.

[Beck Bennett]

And, Annalise, now we need to answer a question. People are writing in or sending voice notes to isaidnogiftsgmail.com with some sort of requirements for the voice note. They should be under 60 seconds, and please record them in a quiet room. Okay. So they should be an hour long recorded in a busy grocery store. Okay. Or on the back of your motorcycle. Should we do a voice note? Hi, Bridger, Annelise, and guest. I have a question about how to respond to a friend who insists on referring to my normal life as a lifestyle. I'm in my mid-30s, single, no kids. And she's married, has kids, stay at home, mom, and will frequently say things like, well, with your lifestyle. X. Yeah. Am I wrong to not like my normal life being referred to as a lifestyle? How should I respond to this? Thank you. Okay, so I have at least one listener whose life is a mess. They're out of control, and they have this lifestyle that I don't approve of, and now they're asking me for advice. Yeah, that's an interesting one. And she's got this friend who's trying to kind of set her straight, and instead of conforming to whatever the friend wants, she's turning to a podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

How do you deal with that friend who has this lovely, gorgeous life? She's made all of the right choices.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely not. She's in a hellhole.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, she's in a hellhole. A downward spiral.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

And she obviously doesn't see anything wrong with him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no. She's stuck. You know, when you're in hell, you don't know you're in hell.

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's only when you get out of hell that you know you were in hell.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Y' all know that.

[Beck Bennett]

And her friend is panicking. She's saying, how do I help?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Why don't I just kind of subtly pass aggressive nature, call it a lifestyle. Maybe she'll pick up on. This friend is so dense.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This friend is so dense. Maybe I'll just have a little pause in between life and style. Well, you know, with your life style, say it in a different way and maybe I'll help her that way.

[Beck Bennett]

This friend is approaching air quotes. You know, lifestyle, lifestyle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A little hand wave, your lifestyle.

[Beck Bennett]

And that's all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A little dance move, your lifestyle.

[Beck Bennett]

Purely in the service of trying to help her mess of a life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And she's turning to us. She doesn't even know who I am.

[Beck Bennett]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a risky move. It's very risky. Now, what do you have to say to this?

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, I don't know that this person should continue listening to the podcast. I need to cut these people out of the podcast. We have a kind of, you know, everybody that listens to this podcast is on the straight and narrow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Has at least two children, a loving husband, thank God, And a gorgeous car. And backyard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You gotta have a backyard for the kids to run around. Yes. And maybe a driveway to wash that car on the weekends when you're feeling.

[Beck Bennett]

Like washing the car.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You don't have to.

[Beck Bennett]

You don't have to. You could just go to the place, you know, your detailer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right.

[Beck Bennett]

But.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But to do it at home, that's when you kind of. It's an intimate act.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, right. You throw your bikini on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're really giving your car some tender loving care.

[Beck Bennett]

You're slipping and sliding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tender loving car. Great car wash. Yeah, yeah. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

An ideas podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, an ideas podcast. Left and right. I mean, you know, do you want to.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, do you have any advice for this person? The lifestyle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, she's saying lifestyle because she's. She's jealous.

[Beck Bennett]

She's. Yeah, yeah. Cause her life sucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She can't have a lifestyle.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When you have kids, she has. Did she say two kids?

[Beck Bennett]

Two kids who she's thinking to put up for adoption.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course she is. She can't handle it. Are you kidding me? Who wants a life when you can have a lifestyle? I mean. So I think in a way it is actually a compliment. It's like, wow, you get to have a lifestyle. You get to choose what you do in the morning or at night or any time. You are not. Not like, fully. I only have one child.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And like, that was such a lifestyle change. And then now I talk to parents who have two kids, and they're like, one is an accessory. That's what they say. And two is a lifestyle. I'm like, this is not a lifestyle change. So two kids, it's a lot. You know, that's. She's probably not even seeing her husband or wife.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh. She's increasingly distant.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They partner off the door to one kid, one takes the other kid. They're not seeing each other. Other. So she is. My advice for you to be able to handle it is she's jealous. She wishes she had a style.

[Beck Bennett]

And you make her nervous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, absolutely. She's like, oh, that must be nice with your lifestyle. You can just go have a glass of wine with a friend at 5pm or whatever. You can just sit in, watch TV in bed and go to a yoga class whenever, whatever. So that's. That's to the listener. That's how you deal. That might help you deal with that.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure. Maybe start using the word yourself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And yeah, I would say start talking about her life as a lifestyle.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cause that was a lifestyle choice. She decided to have two kids.

[Beck Bennett]

She has a lifestyle as well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would say, though, like, having kids is kind of like reaching some level of fame, at least through acting. Like, people with acting, people will say, well, you chose this. And it's like, I didn't want to be famous. I Was like, I want to do theater.

[Beck Bennett]

No, you chose it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That I was. You chose it. You didn't want to be an actor. You wanted to be famous, and that's what you wanted.

[Beck Bennett]

To be bothered.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I wanted to be. I didn't want to. You wanted to walk down the street and have people scream at you.

[Beck Bennett]

That was ultimately your childhood dream was, how can I be bothered? Non stop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And have people just, like, wanting to take photos with me with these phones that don't exist yet and just being, like, capturing my every move.

[Beck Bennett]

It's every famous person's dream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's kind of like having a kid. It's like, oh, I want to have a family. And then you have a family. And you're like, well, I didn't want this. No. It is fantastic having a family. But it is one of those things where you're like, it's a lot. Damn. But you should start calling her lifestyle.

[Beck Bennett]

Lifestyle. Start throwing that around about everybody in your life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. Yeah. Make it. Just throw it around.

[Beck Bennett]

Become somebody that they write in about you to the podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. And let her have a problem with the lifestyle. Choice of words. And then you can be like, well, that's what you say about my life.

[Beck Bennett]

And get into a big friendship ending fight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's when you fight. That's when you grab your big spoon.

[Beck Bennett]

Finish her off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, finish her off. Get the spoon. Finish her off. God damn it.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, we answered the question perfectly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it was perfect. I think we gave her some inner peace and also some action, you know, some actionable item.

[Beck Bennett]

An actionable item.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that a thing that people say?

[Beck Bennett]

I think you. Yeah, an actual item is a thing. Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like a thing you can maybe. Is it a therapy thing where it's like, this is something that you can do to correct whatever's going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It feels like a therapy thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Because I don't feel like if a boss was like, here's an actionable item. Here's something you can do that's, I'm leaving the office.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. No, they don't say, I don't want to be here. No.

[Beck Bennett]

But it is an actionable item, and hopefully this is the first step to getting out of her disgusting lifestyle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. Good luck. Good luck having some direction and purpose than creating a person or something.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, Beck, I have my spoon, I have my oil. I'm so thrilled.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a. What a gift. Now I'm looking at the other ones and. Yeah. What a. What? It's gonna go perfectly. If you want to Put it here. Or if you go into your kitchen.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, occasionally an item comes to the podcast that I do just take home and it becomes part of my life style.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hey, we'll see.

[Beck Bennett]

And this is one that's gonna go in a kitchen drawer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

How could I not use this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, it's a gorgeous spoon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Honestly, you could. That could. It could just be a decoration.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah, hang that on the wall.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hang it.

[Beck Bennett]

Nail it to the wall.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, nail that. Just put a couple nails in it right into the wall. So you can't even take it off and just be like that. That's my cooking spoon and it's locked into the wall.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm saving it for a special occasion.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's for Christmas. Take it down on Christmas.

[Beck Bennett]

I've had a wonderful time with you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have as well. Thank you so much. Thank you for being what a wonderful space you've created for guests to come in and just be themselves. Judgment, free, let loose.

[Beck Bennett]

Finally, a place in podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's wonderful. I don't know what you're going to say when I leave here.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, it's going to get very critical.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, of course.

[Beck Bennett]

It's going to be like, take his name off the list.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. He's not coming back.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Block the email.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. Sure. As long as I got in once, I'm fine.

[Beck Bennett]

Annelise, throw away the burner phone, etc. But thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. Thank you for having me.

[Beck Bennett]

Listener. The podcast is over. I don't want anything to do with you for the next week. Get on. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Annelise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You might.

[Beck Bennett]

You must follow the show on Instagram @isaidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts? When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guilt. Your presence is present enough and I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?