Beck Bennett & Kyle Mooney Disobey Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Beck Bennett & Kyle Mooney Disobey Bridger"

I Said No Gifts! with Bridger Winegar
Release Date: June 11, 2026
Guests: Beck Bennett & Kyle Mooney

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of I Said No Gifts! sees host Bridger Winegar welcoming beloved SNL alumni Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney for a loose, hilarious backyard conversation. True to the show’s tradition, Beck and Kyle flout Bridger’s "no gifts" rule, bringing an assortment of questionable treasures. The episode is packed with stories about friendship, failed schemes, odd gifts, gambling, and the peculiarities of everyday life—delivered in the trio’s characteristically dry, absurdist humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Grievances and Disney Hacks

• Bridger, in a characteristically negative mood, opens the show with his signature complaints: CVS pharmacy hours, parking at Glendale’s In-n-Out, and Google Maps notifications.
  • "Unless you just want to buy like a $9 Gatorade, why is the [CVS] store open?" – Bridger [02:45]
• The group passionately discusses parking hacks for Disneyland, with Kyle revealing:
  • "I do Downtown Disney. If I buy something at Downtown Disney, then you get a validation, and it's like 10 bucks." – Kyle [06:09]
• Bridger and Beck compare stories about valet tricks at the Grand Californian, discussing the gray areas of Disney parking, ultimately delighting in beating the system.

2. The State of Pharmacies & Antidepressant Disclosures

• In a riff about the decline of retail pharmacies:
  • “It’s fascinating, because it's like, oh, you're watching something that will no longer exist soon… a future museum, essentially.” – Beck [08:52]
• The loose security around prescription pick-up and the foibles of transferring prescriptions (including Kyle having his brother mail his to LA from New York) lead to confessions about mental health and medication.
  • "I was not going to get medicine because I was sick. I was going to get my antidepressants." – Bridger [10:54]
  • "It's mental stuff." – Beck [11:01]

3. Reflections on Gifts from Prior Episodes

• Returning to a previous episode, the group updates on the fate of a wooden wok spoon Beck gifted Bridger last time and the oiling required to keep it from being ruined in the dishwasher.
  • "I come home one day, my boyfriend has done the dishes, blasted this thing. But the oil saved it." – Bridger [13:28]
• They note the impracticality of podcast gifts generally: “For the most part, just for the worse, because they're just clutter in my house.” – Bridger [14:58]

4. Meta-Podcast Conversation & Influences

• Teasing their own (as-yet-unnamed) podcast launching soon, Beck and Kyle plot to cross-promote, plant "Easter eggs," and tease exclusive reveals:
  • "We could plant some Easter egg in this episode that sort of pays off..." – Kyle [16:58]

5. Star Encounters & Awkward Influence Questions

• Kyle narrates an awkward run-in with Fabrizio Moretti from The Strokes, asking him what music inspires him:
  • “I tried...I had somewhat of a journalistic approach. Like, so wonderful to meet you. I was curious, what type of music inspires you?” – Kyle [19:02]
  • "He goes, well, lately I've been listening to a lot of Motown." – Kyle [19:12]
• The group then riffs on Motown, the Beatles (“Paul,” says Kyle, is his favorite), and the fraught territory of “canceled” influences, e.g., R. Kelly and the cultural complications of admiring problematic artists.

6. Gift Reveal: The Ultimate Deadbeat Birthday Bundle

[29:24–32:06]

• Beck and Kyle present Bridger with a gift bag containing:
  • A bottle of Squirt
  • Black & Mild cigarillos
  • California Lottery scratch-off tickets
• The gift is a nod to their tradition of giving each other "the most deadbeat possible" assortment at birthdays (“This feels like it’s from an uncle,” – Bridger [29:27]), but, ultimately, “we genuinely love this gift.” – Beck [30:07]
• They explain the Squirkle (Squirt + vodka, named for Steve Urkel) as a home-brewed party cocktail from their shared history, with Bridger’s relish for the story prompting laughter.

7. Scratchers, Gambling, and the "Real World Scratchers" Game Concept

• The trio scratch tickets live, hoping for a win. They get nothing, but riff at length about the etiquette of gifting and splitting scratchers.
  • “What if they win big?... That's the sacrifice you're making.” – Kyle [31:32]
• This evolves into a brainstorm for “social scratchers” — scratch-off cards with interactive party dares and consequences. The bit snowballs:
  • “You bring them to a party. I got a high five from whoever … or… you have to do this or tell me this…” – Beck [38:54]
  • "Here feels like a fun thing at a car [party]. And you can just bring a couple [scratchers]. You don't have to bring the whole board game." – Bridger [39:08]

8. Casinos, Collectibles, and Nostalgia for Early Internet

• The conversation moves to legitimate gambling (blackjack, roulette, and the rush versus regret), then shifts to baseball card collecting as nostalgia and a form of low-stakes “gambling.”
  • "I was thinking of, after this, going to buy baseball cards..." – Kyle [51:24]
• They fondly recall cyber-squatting on domain names, old-school websites (ebaumsworld, oldschoolhiphop.com), and web pranks.

9. Teen Mischief and the "Glory" of Cigars and Blunts

• Vignettes about adolescent rebellion — stealing cigars, smoking in half-built homes, Blunt culture in suburban youth, and first encounters with drugs and cigarettes.
  • "The idea of like 16-year olds, like in somewhat wealthy communities, like kind of smoking blunts. I don't know, something about it is very silly to me." – Kyle [61:10]
• Beck describes the weirdly chemical "arousal" of his first solo cigarette: “There was immediate arousal … it was fully chemical. Whoa. That's crazy." – Beck [64:38]

10. Jaws: Too Many Men on Boats?

• Bridger admits to being underwhelmed watching Jaws for the first time last year:
  • "There was one scary part. ...The rest... did not scare me at all. And then there was way too much of just men talking on a boat..." – Bridger [65:46]
• Nostalgic stories of seeing Jaws and Jaws 2 as sleepover movies, with more gore and less character-building, ensue.

11. Movie Ratings, Mormon Movie-Going, and the Mystery of CleanFlicks

• A fascinating detour into the world of edited (CleanFlicks) movies for Mormon families:
  • “[The service] would never cut out violence. Just nudity or sex.” – Bridger [69:16]
• The trio deconstructs movie ratings, recollecting how for decades, a fleeting shot of nudity enormously impacted a movie's rating.

12. Neighborhood Food, Lines, and LA Life

• An enthusiastic side discussion about favorite Highland Park restaurants (Joy, Pine & Crane, Proof), complaining about lines and unnecessary indoor congregation:
  • "There was a group that just started lining up around tables..." – Bridger [75:29]

13. Gift or Curse Game

[81:07–92:03]

Bridger asks the guests to play a favorite: Is it a gift or a curse?

1. When a driver asks if you're leaving a parking spot?
   "Definitely a curse." – Beck/Kyle
   But: Bridger says it's a gift, because you have the power [83:05]
2. Tall people at concerts
   "Curse." – Both (and correct)
3. Astrology
   "Gift" – After debate about hope and connection.
   "Correct," says Bridger [91:33]

14. Answering a Listener Mail: What to Gift a Husband With No Budget

• Suggestions range from deck-related used items, Facebook Marketplace finds, beer brewing kits, eBay gift certificates, Lamborghini posters, to practical car accessories ("little fixes").
  • The ultimate advice: a car “package” (garbage can, cup holder adaptors, etc.) or vintage car poster for under $50 [101:35].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "For the most part, just for the worse, because they're just clutter in my house." – Bridger on podcast gifts [14:58]

• "What inspires you? ...He goes, well, lately I've been listening to a lot of Motown." – Kyle’s awkward fan question to Fabrizio Moretti [19:02]

• On gifting scratchers: "I try to scratch. I'm trying to scratch more." – Beck [31:59]

• On ‘social scratchers’ party game: "If you uncover a kiss…You gotta kiss the person closest to you.” – Beck [38:23]

• "You get to do whatever you want with [your points]." – Bridger on the ambiguous scoring [86:59]

• "I'm a total tease, listener. The podcast is over. Please do something else. I love you. Goodbye." – Bridger closing out [104:13]

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Notable Timestamps

• 04:39: Guests officially join; Disneyland parking hacks begin
• 13:28: Wooden spoon saga; maintaining impractical gifts
• 19:02: Kyle’s awkward question to Fabrizio Moretti
• 29:24: Gift reveal—Squirt, Black & Milds, and scratchers
• 32:06–41:29: Scratchers, party game brainstorming, “social scratchers” bit
• 48:34: Gambling; blackjack on mushrooms, Beck’s winning strategy
• 61:10: Adolescent cigar/blunt nostalgia
• 65:44: Bridger's Jaws review
• 69:16: Mormon movie ratings and CleanFlicks explained
• 75:29: LA restaurant talk, complaints about lines
• 81:07: Gift or Curse game
• 95:21: Listener question: “What to get my husband for his birthday with low funds?”

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Tone & Language

• Dry, deadpan, meandering, and playfully self-deprecating. The tone is deeply conversational, with occasional detours into absurdity.
• Frequent “meta” asides—about podcasting, gift-giving, and the comedy of trying to create entertainment from nothing.

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential I Said No Gifts! hang—a rambling but always funny exchange filled with old friends’ banter, nostalgia, and petty grievances. Beck and Kyle’s friendship shines through in their stories, from Disneyland parking hacks to deadbeat birthday presents and the fertile ground for comedy in regrettable teenage antics. Above all, the spirit of "anything for the bit" prevails. If you missed the episode, you’ll easily feel caught up—and in on the next inside joke.

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Transcript

[Beck Bennett]

This is exactly right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Beck Bennett]

What's up, y'? All? Summer's got a different tempo. Everything's a little looser, brighter. One plan turns into another. You hear something, you stay a little longer. Next thing you know, you're somewhere you didn't plan to be. It's those in between moments. That's where the ideas hit. Conversations stretch out. Little memories sneak up on you. Sometimes it's just about what's in your hand. That color, that chill. The new Tropical Butterfly Refresher from Starbucks. Guava and passion fruit flavors with mango pineapple flavored pearls. Yeah, that feels like summer before you even taste it. Funny how one small stop becomes the best part of the day. Start your summer rhythm with Starbucks. Try the new Tropical Butterfly Refresher from Starbucks.

[Kyle Mooney]

When I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is presents enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're here. I felt like I had something to say immediately at the beginning of the podcast and I've already forgotten what I was going to talk about. I mean, it's been a fine week for me, just loaded with unpaid obligations, so it's great. I went to cvs. If CVS pharmacy is not open, why is CVS open? I felt like I had walked into a trap. Unless you just want to buy like a $9 Gatorade, why is the store open? There's only one reason. You go to CVS and then you Might get garbage on your way out. They've got to deal with that. I had that complaint. The In n Out in Glendale. The parking lot is a disaster. Not every parking spot can belong to the Fuji Buffet and Grill. I shouldn't have to go in and in and out and feel like my car is going to get towed. So deal with that. It's not. Oh, wow. I've got three complaints. Google Maps has got to stop asking me if there's something in the road or if there's a lane closure. I don't know, and I don't care. That's your job. Stop asking me. Okay, let me see if I have any actual business. The only business I ever have is we have a Patreon. You know that by now. Sign up for the Patreon. We're having the time of our lives. Everyone's just having an incredible time over there. Bonus episodes. Also episodes of me. Well, talking about either Real Housewives of Salt Lake City or Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Trying to get in a fight with one of the members of those casts. That hasn't happened yet. And, oh, Patreon, I forgot the URL. Patreon.com. i saidnogift. Okay, let's get into the podcast. I love today's guests. It's Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney.

[Kyle Mooney]

So excited to be here.

[Beck Bennett]

So excited to be here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Felt like you're back. Beck is back, Kyle's new, and I'm in a very negative mood.

[Beck Bennett]

From the very beginning, I thought all those complaints had. We're right.

[Kyle Mooney]

We're just gonna say I drive In n out. This Glendale.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In n out.

[Kyle Mooney]

You're talking. I've never been inside there, but I've seen cars wrapped around in line, which I feel like In n out, famously. There's always a big line of cars,

[Bridger Weiniger]

but usually there's, like, enough parking lot to justify that. Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. That. In n out. I have driven away because just, like, driven up to it, looked at it and been like, it's not. I don't want it that way.

[Kyle Mooney]

And what is that other restaurant?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's Fuji Buffet and Grill.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they've recently put up a sign at every parking spot that says, this belongs to our restaurant, and you will be towed. Literally every parking spot right there by

[Beck Bennett]

the In n out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's crazy.

[Beck Bennett]

Have you been to Fuji?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, because I'm furious. Right. I'm using their spots. I haven't been towed yet, but the stress.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Kyle Mooney]

Living life on the edge. Well, I'll tell. I will say, because I heard I've listened to a recent episode of yours, and you're talking about going to Disneyland with Taryn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Kyle Mooney]

Who we saw last night, who said he likes to be mentioned on podcasts.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Taryn, we love you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We love Taryn Kelly.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, we do.

[Kyle Mooney]

But I've been pulling a Disneyland parking sort of hack and what have you been doing? Well, now I feel I'm nervous to

[Beck Bennett]

say, is it the one we. Is it. I. Is the one. I know the one that I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What is your.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know. California?

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, I. I go to. I do. I do Downtown Disney.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, you just go down and then I.

[Kyle Mooney]

If I buy something at Downtown Disney, then it's like you get a validation and it's like 10 bucks.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because it's like, oh, wow.

[Beck Bennett]

It's even cheaper.

[Kyle Mooney]

60 bucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. At least $60 to park it.

[Beck Bennett]

Then you can just walk right up. You don't have to go through security. Take the. The security line by the entrance to the tram that takes you to Downtown Disney.

[Kyle Mooney]

You still have to go through a security.

[Beck Bennett]

You still have to go through security,

[Kyle Mooney]

but not as long. Yeah, you're not. You don't have to go on.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I do. I've done. And I don't know if this works every time, but. Grand Californian, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

The hotel.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you do. You just valet it for $40 and then you walk in right there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's a dream.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

See, but I tried that and they said, like, you can't do it unless you have a room or a reservation at one of the restaurants.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Could you say you're trying to get a room?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. You could be like, yeah, well, we're going to check availability. We're going to.

[Kyle Mooney]

I was going to walk in.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I was going to get one.

[Kyle Mooney]

I was going to knock on some doors.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, that's good to know. It felt too good to be done it once.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And I was like, there. There's no way that this is like a regular thing.

[Kyle Mooney]

I know. It's so. It's.

[Beck Bennett]

It's too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's worth trying.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The last time I parked at Disneyland, the way I got lost after my day at the park was just murder for me because I was exhausted and I'm just wandering through this parking structure totally opposite side. It's huge. It's as big as a city. Yeah, it's terrible.

[Beck Bennett]

And the line. The line. Last time I waited, it was like 45 minutes to an hour to get in from the beginning of the parking garage. To maybe getting to security.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, everybody must be making the move that I'm making. I feel like I see strollers, I see people in their Disney gear.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels like a true Disney insider.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

But, yeah, nobody's. I don't know what'll happen to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think anything. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. No, I think you're just going to live a better life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And you get to buy a little something or do a little shopping. What are you buying when you go to Downtown Disney?

[Kyle Mooney]

A drink and like a flatbread pizza.

[Beck Bennett]

That makes sense sometimes.

[Kyle Mooney]

A gift for my daughter.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I will just going back to one of the other things you brought in the opening. I'm sorry. I do want to say the CVS situation is fascinating to me. Not even really the pharmacy. I will usually do the drive through pharmacy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Beck Bennett]

But I've gone to a different pharmacy. I've given up on CVS entirely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're at a new pharmacy?

[Beck Bennett]

I'm at a new pharmacy. It's just an independent, not a chain. They always have my stuff. They always have it ready. And CVS though, I love. I like going in to just kind of see the dynamic of the one worker working the register and unlocking everything, you know, and seeing them juggle it all a little bit. Like, I often go to get specific batteries and you can't take the batteries off. There are signs, but even though there's like these are paper things that you just kind of like just rip it off, fall off the tab, but you have to wait and you have to see them. It's just a fascinating thing because it's like, oh, you're watching something that will no longer exist soon?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, it's endangered a future museum, essentially.

[Kyle Mooney]

Have you found yourself in the situation where that single person is in the photo department and you're like, oh, no, now I really don't know what to do.

[Beck Bennett]

How do you pull them away from me? I typically, it's. I. If I ever need something in the photo department, it's like I'm returning like a FedEx. Like FedEx at like maybe Walgreens or whatever. Like, but like there's nobody there and I'm just standing there ringing a bell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Do they still have photo departments in every one of them?

[Kyle Mooney]

They in the one by. Maybe it is a Walgreens.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. I saw a photo when I was recently mad at cvs. It said photos, but I don't recall seeing a photo department at all.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Also, how are they getting anyone to work there? There are other places to get a job. And that seems like the worst possible retail job you could have. Being the one person other than a security guard in a pharmacy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's just the people who are hanging on. I can't imagine they're getting new people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Maybe it's just somebody who's been there for 20 years.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. They're just firing more and more people and they're just kind of weeding everybody out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So that person's particularly proud that they're still hanging on.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. They're like a fighter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It feels so powerful. Horrible.

[Beck Bennett]

They're surviving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And mine. The drive thru is frequently not even open.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are they doing? What's going on? That's the one purpose of this entire business is to have a pharmacy. I go there at 6:15 on a Sunday night. It's closed.

[Beck Bennett]

Really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

The amount of people still shopping in there. Why are just go to literally any

[Beck Bennett]

other store anywhere else there must be.

[Kyle Mooney]

And people are, I mean I imagine in dire situations to get their medicine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, right. Especially in the store. That's why I like to go through the drive through. I don't want to go in there and stand by some sick person.

[Beck Bennett]

Stand there. It's just, it's that the standing at the pharmacy line is just so uncomfortable because there are other people also that are usually in much worse shape than I am. They're kind of standing there and like. I don't know, there's. There's sometimes there's like a jockeying for line position that feels uncomfortable. And anyway it's. Yeah, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I should clarify. I was not going to get medicine because I was sick. I was going to get my antidepressants. So neither of you are currently in danger of getting sick. Okay, great.

[Beck Bennett]

Great. Yeah, me too. I'm not regularly getting sick medicine every month. It's out there. It's mental stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The other thing about being at the pharmacy that's interesting to me is how easy it is to get your medication. You just need your phone number and birth date. They don't ask for. I feel like that should be a little bit tighter security.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe an ID or something.

[Kyle Mooney]

An id?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, Literally anything. I feel like if you just memorize somebody's phone number and birthday, you could just. I guess you would also have to memorize their sickness schedule.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But we should be able to get a hold of. That's, that's interesting. Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

I have a situation now where this is. It's. It's lazy. It's. I don't feel good about this. But I have a prescription that was set up for me in New York, and I have a drugstore in New York.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

And so now every couple months, I have, like, my brother or a friend pick up my prescription in New York and mail it to me.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why haven't you transferred the prescription?

[Kyle Mooney]

Is it because it requires a doctor?

[Beck Bennett]

A new doctor for God.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I really like the convenience of having your.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, sure. I like the convenience of having my brother pick it up.

[Kyle Mooney]

I do. I started getting off people doing little chores,

[Bridger Weiniger]

and then they're sending it through the mail. That feels illegal to me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, but.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes, absolutely. Like, full on drugs.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, boy.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Anyway, we need any. Anyway. What was I trying to say? Anyway, any way we need to get her. I can't say this sentence. Does that ever happen?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm excited to hear whatever the sentence is.

[Beck Bennett]

However, we need to get our drugs, we'll do it or something. I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sometimes, yeah, I guess.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, I couldn't come up with the word.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're willing to fight for your.

[Beck Bennett]

Whatever we do to get our drugs, we'll do it. It just wasn't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's an interesting thought.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it had something in there, but it didn't really pan out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Beck, I feel like you teased something before we began recording that you had to share.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, that's right. Oh, that's true. I was gonna say something before recording. I said, you know what? I'll save it for the pod. I have so many good things. And I was joking. I didn't. It's not that I had so many good things. I was just gonna say that I love doing your podcast. Last time, I was telling Kyle beforehand how. What a nice conversation it is. I love that. It's one of the nicest environments. I would say very easy, very laid back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have something to share with you. Since the last part, since we recorded, you gave me this beautiful wooden spoon.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes, I've heard about this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not supposed to go through the dishwasher, which I learned on podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's very careful. I come home one day, my boyfriend has done the dishes, blasted this thing. But the oil saved it.

[Beck Bennett]

Did it really? It redeemed it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. He gave me wood oil. And it looks essentially like it did before. I was so mad.

[Beck Bennett]

I actually. Because I gotten one for myself at the same time. Like, I was gonna be on your podcast. I wanted to get one of these wok spoons that was designed by the chef, and I got it. And I have not put the oil in Yet. And I'm like, I gave Bridger a job and, you know, I didn't realize quite how quickly it would need it. I thought it was gonna be maybe after like a couple months or something, like, you know, to keep it up. But it's like from the get go, just almost immediately. Yeah, yeah. And it's a huge spoon. It's like, it's very big.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of nice in the, like, utensil jar, you know, with the other spatulas.

[Beck Bennett]

It's nice. And it could a serving spoon too, depending on what you're looking, what you got.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

But it's getting used.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is getting used.

[Kyle Mooney]

You don't have to say. Do you feel nervous to say that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do feel slightly nervous, but I feel proud that it actually has been used.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I'm incredibly proud.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, when it got essentially bleached by the dishwasher, that was a different feeling for me.

[Beck Bennett]

Now, do you make an attempt to incorporate gifts, these gifts into your life?

[Bridger Weiniger]

If they're a practical gift like that. Every 50th gift is practical.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. That is a fun. It seems like a fun idea to see how all these gifts would almost change your life for the better or worse. Like what impact they might have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For the most part, just for the worse, because they're just clutter in my house. But, you know, like, fortunately, they're now just becoming part of the studio, which is nice. If there's something that I just simply can't use at home. It goes here.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, this one, the redneck plunger is fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yes.

[Beck Bennett]

It was through.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's from Rob Peeble. That's incredible. And it shoots. Has a sound effect.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. That's Harry Potter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a Harry Potter wand. There's just a little bit of everything. These are things that were just essentially going to be in my garage for the rest of my life.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, of course. You have a little show garage. Yeah. And the other thing I was gonna. I was maybe gonna. And I guess I didn't really have anything to say besides that, but I did want to talk to you about your. Just the whole approach. However, I don't know if we should reveal this, but we have some other news, the three of us, that you're going to be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going to be on your podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

You're going to be on our podcast?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

So I feel there are things I want to ask you, but I'm going to save it, maybe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Yeah, you probably should, because there's a good chance we Run out of things immediately to talk about on yours. What are we going to do with the rest of it?

[Beck Bennett]

And then I've got some amazing questions.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're a journalist.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You're essentially a journalist, really.

[Beck Bennett]

I really am.

[Kyle Mooney]

You don't want to tease out any

[Beck Bennett]

of them, Any of the questions? Well, it was gonna be like, it was kind of gonna be a long.

[Kyle Mooney]

What are you influenced by?

[Beck Bennett]

Well, it was gonna be like, yeah, no, I can't come up with something very nice. What am I. What inspires you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tell me about your start.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm gonna save it. It's nothing mind blowing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, but this, this was like a good tease for that episode. I wonder which episode's gonna come out first. To be honest, I have no idea. I think probably this one will.

[Kyle Mooney]

Is that next week?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, because I think I'm coming next week and this one will be out in two weeks.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah. Then this will be out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. So it'll be like a nice teeing up to that episode.

[Beck Bennett]

If you like, if you're liking this, you're definitely gonna want to go check out Bridger on what's our podcast.

[Kyle Mooney]

It would be nice to. And I don't know what this is an abstract thought, but if we could plant some Easter egg in this episode that sort of pays off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or just make a huge promise, like, I'm gonna reveal something I've never said before on that episode.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

If you want to.

[Kyle Mooney]

Are you willing to do that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm willing to do that, but I'm gonna have to rack my. I'll think of something I've never revealed before.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh. You know, and, you know, it would be interesting if we could also maybe say something here so that in our episode, when people listen, we could be like, if you wanna find out this fact about me and Kyle, you should

[Bridger Weiniger]

go back and listen to that episode. Yeah. What's something that you. What are your influences?

[Kyle Mooney]

We find out what your influences are on. Our PO Asked you. Yeah. Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very cool question. Very interesting answers.

[Kyle Mooney]

Influences.

[Beck Bennett]

Influences. God. Kyle is one of my biggest influences. Yeah. No, honestly, it's just Kyle, in the past two decades, I did, you know,

[Kyle Mooney]

I will, I will, I will answer this question earnestly if you want me to, but I, I, it does remind me of something that happened in my real life, which is embarrassing. And when I was probably 20ish years

[Bridger Weiniger]

old,

[Kyle Mooney]

I heard that Fabricio from the Strokes was DJing at a bar in Silver Lake. I forget what that venue was called.

[Beck Bennett]

The,

[Kyle Mooney]

you know, the Silver Lake venue. It Changed. It's a pretty iconic rock venue.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, oh. On Hyperion.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. That was Satellite. The Satellite.

[Kyle Mooney]

But then it was something. It was called something before the Satellite, wasn't it?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I forget what it was.

[Kyle Mooney]

He was DJing there and, like, he was dating Kirsten Dunst at the time, and they were there and, like, as like a 21 year old. Like, I was like, whoa, this is fucking tight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's Hollywood.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

I mean, like, I. I saw him and I approached him and I asked him. I was like, so what type of music are you into?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, nice.

[Kyle Mooney]

And he was like, just like.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, cold. Cold.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Walked up to.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, I was like. I think it was like. I tried. I think I had somewhat of a journalistic approach. Like, so wonderful to meet you. I was curious what type of music inspires you?

[Beck Bennett]

What did he say?

[Kyle Mooney]

He goes, well, lately I've been listening to a lot of Motown.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a very safe answer.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, the safest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who has not been listening to some Motown.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Was he polite enough to ask you?

[Kyle Mooney]

He didn't care, but I'm fine. I don't need to be asked by a slave. I mean, I was. I would have. I probably would not have known what to say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I would have had a panic attack. Yeah, I was just thinking about him because didn't he also date Drew Barrymore?

[Kyle Mooney]

I think that's true.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For some reason, I was thinking about people she's dated, including Tom Green. She said an interesting. Yeah, yeah, those are the only two. But for whatever reason, he just popped into my head as, yeah, they did date.

[Beck Bennett]

That was an awesome romance. That was an awesome romance.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. An incredible romance. Really. Incredible romance of the century, I would say. The Strokes are in the news. The Strokes are back in the news. Yeah. But keep thinking about something to reveal influences.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, My influences, like, as a podcaster, Billy Madison.

[Kyle Mooney]

I like.

[Beck Bennett]

Billy Madison was huge. Ben Stiller.

[Kyle Mooney]

I do. And I do like the Beatles. That's as.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who's your favorite Beatle?

[Kyle Mooney]

Ooh, fuck.

[Beck Bennett]

Paul. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Paul. Interesting.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't want to say canceled, people. For some reason, I thought of. No, I can't say. I don't want to be put in a corner. Is it okay? Can I say cancel?

[Kyle Mooney]

You can just.

[Beck Bennett]

Very influenced by R. Kelly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

R. Kelly, Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, Trapped in the Closet and some of those, like, remix to Ignition.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ignition.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm sorry. Funny to me. Funny, but also good. And, like, they're just strange. The writing is just like. It's almost like it's comedic storytelling, you know?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then From a mind of something. It's like, how did this. How could a human being.

[Beck Bennett]

And taking himself so serious, taking it so serious.

[Kyle Mooney]

It is sort of like AI before AI.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Broken AI, essentially.

[Kyle Mooney]

I remember there. Yes. We had somebody in our circle of friends in college. Beck and I went to college together. Had the DVD for Trapped in the Closet, which was like. Yeah, there are like whatever, 50 chapters.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you know, I'm like, so familiar with it, but I've never. I don't think I've consumed any of

[Kyle Mooney]

Trapped in the past.

[Beck Bennett]

It was really incredible. Like going upstairs, knock on the door.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, currently in jail.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, good. Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's trapped. He's trapped in the closet.

[Kyle Mooney]

He essentially is like, yes. Just singing this narrative with twists and turns. And there's like a video, you know, you're getting to see it play out.

[Beck Bennett]

It's an operetta. It's like, you know, it just kind of builds and there's the form of the songs are just sort of meandering.

[Kyle Mooney]

But there is also, as I recall, I've not seen this since 2006 or whenever we would watch this, there was a sort of audio commentary on the dvd, kind of a director's commentary type thing, which, as I recall, I feel like it's him maybe in a movie theater smoking a cigar, watching it, but he's just explaining what he's doing. So right here, I'm walking up the stairs.

[Beck Bennett]

That's on the dvd.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's like a thing for the visually impaired. Like when you go to the movie

[Beck Bennett]

theater,

[Bridger Weiniger]

tell us something that we don't know what's happening. Yeah, well, he's in jail, so it doesn't matter.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And remix to Ignition, unfortunately. Has that all been pulled from streaming services, do we think.

[Kyle Mooney]

I don't think so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I think that, I mean, there are other. Plenty of musicians who have been canceled. Their music's still on there. So.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, you gotta love it when. What I love about Ignition, it's the remix immediately. Does anyone know the Ignition? The actual. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Will you ever hear it?

[Beck Bennett]

I remember going to listen to. I do think there is. There is. I believe there is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's an original Ignition.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But it doesn't sound anything like it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like heavily guitar based.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like a rock song, just. Yeah. A lot of singing. It's the Ignition. Put the key in the ignition. Drop that little. Yeah, something like that. I think. I'm trying to remember it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is bold.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's pretty. Like you're, like, very confident. To be like, I'm just calling this the remix.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The remix. Right. And it's going to have toot, toot, beep, beep in it.

[Kyle Mooney]

I thought I forgot about that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Toot, toot beep beep. It's really. He really takes it so seriously. It's really, really wonderful. So that's like. Those are one of my biggest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's your probably.

[Beck Bennett]

He's probably my number one. He's shaped the way I see the

[Bridger Weiniger]

world I like to start from. Maybe I shouldn't mention this name, too. He shaped my worldview.

[Beck Bennett]

He means everything to me. I read everything he's written. I don't know if he actually can write.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think he's illiterate.

[Beck Bennett]

I think that's true. I think he said he would go into the studio and just, like, go straight. Wow. Yeah. Because he could not read or write.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Complicated man.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And again in jail.

[Beck Bennett]

And again.

[Bridger Weiniger]

R. Kelly, reach out.

[Beck Bennett]

Reach out. Wow.

[Kyle Mooney]

Would you have him on your podcast

[Beck Bennett]

if he could zoom from jail?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm fighting for him. I'm trying to prove his innocence. One of the worst people of the last 25 years.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You know, whatever gets those clicks and.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You know what I mean.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Look, we're looking for clips.

[Beck Bennett]

Ultimately, we're here for the clips.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I'll have him on, and I'll have him do some takes and then send him back to jail.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely. That would be fantastic. That would be huge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Well, I mean, speaking of doing horrible things, just deserving to go to jail. I was looking forward to having you two on the podcast today. I thought they'd come by, we'd have a nice time. Becca's been on before. We had a little bit of a fight, but I'm sure he's evolved.

[Beck Bennett]

I have evolved a little bit. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you did bring Kyle today.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the podcast is called I said no Gifts.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you two showed up with this gorgeous gift bag.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

We couldn't help ourselves. I do want we really. Because I was just. I had a great time, and I told Kyle how nice it was.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes. I feel like there was some sort of communication issue going on as well, because you were at the gym.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You called me and we were gonna.

[Beck Bennett]

You were gonna pick me up in your blue car.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

And then I was like, great. And then I was like, I'm at the gym. It doesn't make sense for me to go home and for you to pick me up and take me to the podcast. So I was like, let's meet at

[Kyle Mooney]

the studio and Then you said you should get him a gift.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, no, I said, do you want to pick me up at the gym so that we can go shopping for our pre planned gift together and so we're both a part of it, or do you want to do it yourself? And you said I was gonna do it, but this was a collaboration. But Kyle made the purchase by himself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

Regardless, apologies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I appreciate it.

[Beck Bennett]

There was some communica. Yeah, we. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I'm glad to hear that you're communicating while you're at the gym.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of out of breath. Yelling while other people are around you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Yelling when I'm texting.

[Kyle Mooney]

Just.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, should we open it here on the podcast?

[Beck Bennett]

That would be great. I would. You know, I know you said no gifts, but it's in this. This might be one of those gifts you're glad that we brought. Anyway,

[Bridger Weiniger]

you hear the phrase vibe coding and might naturally assume the worst, but it turns out to be a genuinely useful tool for building a website. And with WIX Harmony, you can build a site quickly while still making it your own. WIX has introduced WIX Harmony, a vibe coder for websites that lets you type what you want and generate a site read to use right away, complete with forms, payments, security and more built in. As you create business, power gets wired in. Wix will set everything up so that it's ready to go from day one and you can focus on doing your thing. And WIX Harmony doesn't require AI for everything. You can still click and edit anything manually or select an element and have Aria, your AI agent, make updates for you. It's a smart solution to the frustration of repeatedly prompting AI just to make small changes. Try it for [e-mail] Harmony that's wix.com Harmony this is Bowen Yang from Lost

[Bowen Yang]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Beck Bennett]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I really thought about it.

[Beck Bennett]

I was like, no. At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story

[Kyle Mooney]

if I don't go through it.

[Beck Bennett]

There's places in this book that deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh, my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, I'm gonna reach it. It feels like there are multiple things in here.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a package. There are multiple things that it's, you know, under an umbrella.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you put them all out at the same time.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. This is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is an incredible. This feels like it's from an uncle.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a bottle of squirt grapefruit drink, some black and mild cigarettes.

[Beck Bennett]

We would call them cigars.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, these are cigars.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think they might be cigarillas.

[Beck Bennett]

Cigarillas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's right.

[Beck Bennett]

We're all right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's cigaritas, as in several scratchers.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. This is kind of the last minute birthday package surprise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, the most deadbeat possible.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But also, this is something that we would give each other. And, you know, it just became something like we'd show up to a birthday with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

And Kyle and I were talking about this, and we were like, we genuinely love this gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a good gift.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a good, fun gift. The scratches are great. The squirt is for a cocktail, a drink that Kyle trademarked created when we were living together.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's a Squirkle.

[Beck Bennett]

It's named after Steve Urkel.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Squirt and vodka and ice cubes. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unless that's nice.

[Beck Bennett]

It's kind of a 5050 thing.

[Kyle Mooney]

I was watching a lot of Family Matters at the time and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Does Urkel drink Squirt or anything? It just happens. But it just sort of worked out

[Kyle Mooney]

that, like, I was like, oh, I like Squirt. I was like, what if you put

[Beck Bennett]

booze in it and you kind of. It's kind of. You squirrel it up. Yeah. Kind of Urkel the Squirt. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is this still a cocktail you're having? On occasion.

[Kyle Mooney]

I, you know, I feel like one of the last ones I had was I stayed a year longer than Beck at Saturday Night Live.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

And on my first week, Beck from la, he had moved back to la, sent me a big liter bottle of Squirt and. And some vodka. And so that was probably the last.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's so sweet. Dear friend. Dear friend.

[Kyle Mooney]

That was very sweet. It was like, break a leg. Yeah. Oh, have a squirrel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And so this is what you would just take to party, a birthday, just in case you need to give something.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you feel like it's complicated to give somebody scratchers? Because what if they win big?

[Kyle Mooney]

I think you have to. I think that's the sacrifice you're making.

[Beck Bennett]

It's up to the person who's scratching, you know, so it's, you know, if you want to give us 50% of

[Bridger Weiniger]

your winnings, it's kind of a moral issue. It becomes a sort of like, what sort of person are you, really?

[Beck Bennett]

It's a personality test.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm gonna say I scratch a decent amount. I scratch probably like twice a year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's twice every Thanksgiving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

I try to scratch. I'm trying to scratch more.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah. Well, you got.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm very.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a healthy habit.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

But I bet.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm thinking chances are you've got at least a free ticket in that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think we should all scratch one.

[Beck Bennett]

Should we all scratch? I was hoping we could. Is there one that's more expensive or has a bigger prize? Oh, there looks like a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There is a Jaws. This looks like a very exciting one.

[Beck Bennett]

This looks like a big one. I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a full of 500.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think that. Yeah. I've got poker nights and I've got a classic.

[Beck Bennett]

I've got Cash Crush.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is more of a tattoo themed. And then I've got kind of a Jaws. Has a Jaws experience through some Sort of app.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And almost a hologram on it.

[Beck Bennett]

That is a really cool one. Here you are. Look at this.

[Kyle Mooney]

Thank you. I have exactly three coins.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have a shocking amount of coins.

[Kyle Mooney]

Actually, I paid for this in cash. I think you have to pay. Do you have to pay for scratchers

[Beck Bennett]

in cash or debit? I think so. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because it's gambling.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, I'm gonna scratch up my winning numbers here.

[Kyle Mooney]

I've got to learn my rules here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Everybody scratch. Yeah. This is.

[Kyle Mooney]

See, I never do this in any of your. If any of your hands beat the dealer's hand win prize shown for that hand bonus. Uncover the bonus spawn multiplier total number.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm just gonna scratch them all off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Do I just scratch them all? This is.

[Beck Bennett]

You really can. You can do it one by one. Let's see. No matches. Oh, nope. No matches.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. If anybody care.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My.

[Kyle Mooney]

My dealer's hand. He's got a. He's got. Ooh, two pairs. A pairs of. A pair of sevens and a pair of fours.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Jaws is going away here. I'm just gonna scratch it and see.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, me too.

[Kyle Mooney]

What?

[Beck Bennett]

I've got no. I got no anchors. Sorry for this detritus here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a disaster. I don't have a single little boat or a shark.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I bet those are the big winners. 510,000. Okay. Uncover.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm not doing well.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no. Oh, no. 39. Come on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I'm gonna have to have one of you look at this, because I. This doesn't make any sense to me. This is.

[Beck Bennett]

I have not won a thousand.

[Kyle Mooney]

Have you looked at the. I mean, like, 10,000. Have you looked at the potential? This is the thing about scratchers to me is, like, if the lines. You didn't win, but if you look at the prizes. For instance, like, I could have gotten $75,000 if I just gotten you correctly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a different you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes. It's like a sliding door situation. Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I have no idea what I could have possibly won.

[Beck Bennett]

You want me to take a look?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Take a look at that while I do this other one.

[Beck Bennett]

That could be the one that could be the winner.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right. I still have a chance at a fast 50 over here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Okay. What's the most you've ever won on one of these?

[Kyle Mooney]

Probably, like, 10 bucks.

[Beck Bennett]

I think 20 bucks. Okay,

[Kyle Mooney]

here. What is the. What is the game here?

[Beck Bennett]

Just match these numbers or get a symbol. So, okay, so if you see any of these numbers, which I do not. 41, 24. Okay. 13, 33.

[Kyle Mooney]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

18 chances to win. Match any of your numbers.

[Beck Bennett]

18 chances, then you got all this

[Kyle Mooney]

little scratch dust all over the place.

[Beck Bennett]

Do we want this on the table?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think we leave this permanently.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, this is nice. This is part of the gift. And if you could just make it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just rub it into the table. Okay, look at this again. This is again, I truly have no idea how to.

[Beck Bennett]

Full of 500s is what it says. Full of $500.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. So we should, I guess just guaranteed $500.

[Kyle Mooney]

Are we trying to match anything?

[Beck Bennett]

I think so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's anything. Did we win anything today?

[Beck Bennett]

We have won nothing.

[Kyle Mooney]

32.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a shake.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, God. Like, you know, usually when you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When four cards.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, well, usually when we don't win anything, it's private and it's like all alone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But now this is to be blasted out to America. To the world, nonetheless.

[Beck Bennett]

Wait, wait, hold on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you're seeing something.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, I'm not. Your numbers. Any of the numbers. When that prize uncovered now, I thought I might have gotten a ticket, free ticket.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But now this seems like a mistake on the lottery commission's part because it's like give somebody $5 to get them back to buy another.

[Beck Bennett]

That's typically what you win. It's like a free ticket or a couple dollars to win another one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get them back to that counter.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think I know what went wrong.

[Beck Bennett]

I think I did the. I have a theory. Okay, tell me your theory, because I have a theory too.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm gonna give you a little background in the gift buying process.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

I thought the variety would be fun. So I said I want four five dollar scratchers.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm thinking the same thing.

[Kyle Mooney]

I should have just gone the same category.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, and you're more likely to get a winner in there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you're really chopping down your chance.

[Beck Bennett]

It's okay, Kyle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But that also might be. They might actually be both equally good strategies. I don't know who could not make me.

[Beck Bennett]

I just am now. I'm kind of wishing that I was there. I'm kind of wishing you picked me up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We made an agreement last year.

[Beck Bennett]

This could have been amazing.

[Kyle Mooney]

We talked about this last evening. I said I was going to pick you up, we would go do it.

[Beck Bennett]

And I threw a wrench in the plan with my workout.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's more just. I like the variety. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

And I think more dynamic. It is fun. I mean, having the Jaws one was really nice. People are gonna Wanna.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People love IP.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you think?

[Kyle Mooney]

Does Mr. Spielberg know about this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm sure he signed Off. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I bet he's gonna put on his desk. He has to look at every Jaws related.

[Beck Bennett]

He's like, this fits the brand. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love gambling. I love lotteries. How do we get Jaws in there? Why is Jaws. Who's that. That for really? Why is Jaws just now on lottery cards?

[Kyle Mooney]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess.

[Kyle Mooney]

I know it's. It's the intersection of like. Yeah. Some sort of like movie nerd and gambling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

Love scratchers.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or I guess 65 year old degenerate.

[Beck Bennett]

Do you look at fish fans?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. The little. There's like either a shark or a boat, right?

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah. Uncover a boat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I got neither. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

They're cute.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They should have had one other cute thing that everybody gets.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just, you know, because everyone likes to

[Kyle Mooney]

see a little graphic icon of Richard Dreyfus.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, what if it was kind of like if you. If you uncover a kiss, you know.

[Kyle Mooney]

For the Jaws kiss.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, for the Jaws kiss. The person closest to you. So you could go over somebody who want to kiss and be like, look at the kiss thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I'm kind of fired by the gas station to kiss you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, so.

[Beck Bennett]

Or like a hug.

[Kyle Mooney]

So it sort of becomes more of an interactive thing.

[Beck Bennett]

I honestly. Okay. This is a new idea.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And we own it. I guess your show would own it. Because this is. Speaking of ip, Anything that we come up with here is yours.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is mine exclusive.

[Beck Bennett]

But I'm talking about social.

[Kyle Mooney]

Real world scratchers.

[Beck Bennett]

Real world scratchers. So you bring them to a party. I got a high five from whoever person to my right or whatever. Or like you have to do this or do that or tell me this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You should pursue this.

[Beck Bennett]

I should.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Here feels like a fun thing at a car.

[Beck Bennett]

And you can just bring a couple. You don't have to bring the whole board game. Just bring a couple.

[Kyle Mooney]

I love it. Here's my only bump. Okay. My only bump, which I think we can get over. We can pitch on it. The other part, they have to be willing participants, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

So how do you determine, Is it like we're going to play real world scratchers right now or. Or do you just assume that like people are gonna be down?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think you have to say everybody gets one and we're all committing to whatever happens.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And you don't have to do it all at once, but yeah, I think it's like an agreement. Like it has to be like a party or a get together and it could be at a bar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have to go Home. Yeah. So it's like you're really rolling the dice.

[Beck Bennett]

That is so funny. Be like, yeah, I had to go home. Like, we kind of. It was like 30 minutes in and I scratched a house and my night got ruined. But it would create stories and dynamics. It would put a spin on things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There could be one. Like, the host has to cancel the party. I mean, there are all sorts of things that could happen on the screen. I mean, this is something you should do. This is a nice second chapter, maybe.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, the thing is take a full bath. I would imagine that you have a creative, ambitious audience. Do you think somebody's gonna try to

[Bridger Weiniger]

steal it before you?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you've got two weeks to get this off the. Or at least get the patent pending.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. I heard patents are hard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, this is the other thing. I think of a lot of ideas on this podcast just basically setting traps for lawsuits where I'm like, hopefully somebody does take the idea, then I slam them later.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, that's smart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So if they do the work, I get the money.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Do you think that would be. That would hold up?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I would fight for it, certainly. Right. It would at least take up some of my time.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I. Sure. I've got a lot of free time.

[Beck Bennett]

And it could be content.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It could be content.

[Beck Bennett]

Clips. Yeah. Whatever creates some good content.

[Kyle Mooney]

You essentially just need to prove that they may have listened to the podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which I'm sure would be very easy to do.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We go through their Internet history or whatever that feels.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I would love to create something. Something like that. That just goes gay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Where it's just like, now that thing just is a thing that I thought of, and now it makes me money.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's a really, really good idea.

[Beck Bennett]

Thanks, dude.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, this is a solid one.

[Beck Bennett]

You guys help me, like, honestly, you guys are like, I couldn't have come up with it without you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, this podcast is a think tank.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It really is. It's an idea show. So I need you to pursue that. I'm shocked. Nobody has before.

[Beck Bennett]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels like the next big.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's like. You know what it's similar to in my head is like, Sex dice.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's Sex Dice? Now that seems like something from another era. That's an R. Kelly.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, I think it is. It is an R. Kelly program in, like, 2003.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's. I think it's like.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like, is it a D? I think it's like, you roll. Maybe you Roll two of them. One lands on kiss, the other one lands on torso or something like that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Right?

[Beck Bennett]

There are other little sexy games like that, but this wouldn't be sexy. I mean, there could be some sexy stuff.

[Kyle Mooney]

Sure, sure. But I'm just saying, like this is again, I'm just comparing it to like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. The randomness, the chance of social interaction. You could have different layers. One could be deeply sexual. Deeply sexual for the parties where you just want things to go in a direction that no one planned on.

[Beck Bennett]

Abso. Yeah, there could all. All different categories. Children's party, families get in a fight

[Bridger Weiniger]

with mom, that sort of thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Children. That's great. Get them kind of used to gambling early on. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Get them hooked. Yeah, this is gonna be great. I'm gonna talk to somebody after this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you've got to. Who do you talk to about this sort of thing?

[Beck Bennett]

You know, maybe I think the guy

[Kyle Mooney]

at the convenience store.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. Just let me know where you went and I'll go back and tell him my plan one's liquor. Hey man, so I've got an idea that I want you to help me with.

[Kyle Mooney]

Hey, so my friend Kyle came here earlier.

[Beck Bennett]

Where do you get these made? Because I actually want to do some social ones. What I want to do like social scratchers. So wherever you get these made, sir, I want to make. So I have some ideas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where do they paint these?

[Beck Bennett]

Paint them. That would be fun to get some of that. That scratcher paint, whatever.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where does that come from? What's that factory? It's got to be a fascinating.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I assume it's liquid. Yeah, it's like such a specific type of thing. It seems like the sort of thing that like was invented accidentally by NASA.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Some other use some of their waste. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm surprised there hasn't been a like, you know, scratchers. Yeah, they're awful for you. You scratch those things off like it releases Clyde tortamine and it like reduces your.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gets under your fingernails into your bloodstream.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

A couple of things I want to. I want to just. Just sort of get into. I'm looking at the back of the jaws scratcher here. This I did not know. And I don't know if this is something I've been missing out on in my whole. In the last few years. Scratching Second chance. What's this for another. There's a QR code for another way to win prizes. Scan QR code to submit eligible non winning scratchers at californialottery.com secondchance or use the mobile app. Mail in entries are not accepted.

[Beck Bennett]

So we could get the mobile app and maybe get a second chance.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's something so sad about being like, I need a second chance on this, please.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm waiting to be approved for my second chance because I don't feel like it was quite fair.

[Kyle Mooney]

And it also says, you play schools win. So I guess they're helping out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I do think that's kind of the thing about the lottery, right, where it's like, it does help public schools in some way. It's like we had to find some good use for ruining people's lives.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely. Yeah. The schools get a couple dollars.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I bet it's very small and it's

[Beck Bennett]

very complicated for them to recoup it. It just sits in an account and they're like, yeah, we can't really. It's for schools, but there's no way to get it to them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like those box tops on the top of cereal. There are all these ways for public schools to make money and they have to really fight for it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's so sad that that's how they. They're just trying to get anything they can.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. All of our education money is tied up in the Lotto Council and General Mills, essentially.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's safe, though, there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's safe there.

[Beck Bennett]

We don't trust the teachers to use that on school supplies. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

hey everyone, it's Cal Penn, host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I'm sitting down with Divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her sprawling new novel, Seek the Traitor's Son. It's a sci fi fantasy epic about two protagonists on opposite sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them them wanted. My first book was Divergent and when

[Kyle Mooney]

that came out, like because it was

[Bridger Weiniger]

so popular, I think it attracted like mostly positivity but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge. And I think it was like critiques of things I liked when I was

[Kyle Mooney]

like, you know, I was 23 and

[Beck Bennett]

I wrote this book and it had

[Kyle Mooney]

all my like dorky little cheesy or

[Bridger Weiniger]

maybe unrealistic loves in it and I started to feel lot of shame about those things. And so for the rest of my career I steered away from those little things that like make you feel pleasure when you read. But I also was like saying no to these parts of myself that I

[Beck Bennett]

then was like screw it. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So that's this book. Listen to Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you two gamblers at all?

[Beck Bennett]

A little bit. But not, not really nothing regular. Like if I go to Vegas I will set a certain amount probably and then play around with that. But when I've gone recently it's it just kind of, I lose it kind of quickly and I'm like why am I doing this? It's kind. I recognize that it's for the rush

[Bridger Weiniger]

and you feel a rush.

[Beck Bennett]

I feel the rush and it's fun and it's Exciting. But I have. I've actually done really good at blackjack.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, that's the one I think you potentially can do well at. Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, and because they can tell you everything you should statistically do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Like the house would hit or it would not. And you can kind of like talk to your friends and kind of feel. Feel the energy. Take a little bit of mushrooms. Feel the energy. Feel the flow. Yeah. That's how I've. I've. I've won money wild on mushrooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just kind of like. Like hit. Okay. Yeah. And then I went, you know, and I just. Yeah, that's what I want.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a beautiful strategy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Don't. Don't do the other. Don't do the other. Hard drugs or drinking. They try to liquor you up. No. Stay clear.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Time to play blackjack on meth.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. No, no. Horrible mood, horrible mood. Tap into the energy of the universe. Have some psilocybin.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Tears running down your face. That sounds nice.

[Kyle Mooney]

I play roulette.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. See, that's the one that, to me, that you can kind of trick yourself into thinking you can do well at, but simply can't.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Have you won?

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

I would say I'm. Yeah. And I don't. I mean, obviously it's luck based, but I do think I have some sort of sense you have what it takes. You know, I'm moving things around. Like, I'm looking at the chart. I'm seeing what's coming up.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. What about you? Are you a gambler?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not at all. I mean, it puts me in a bad mood, and I know so little about it.

[Beck Bennett]

It.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That it's intimidating.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes, it is intimidating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was at the Palm Springs Casino last year, and I was intimidated by the slot machines. And there's no other person involved with that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I was like, I don't know how to use this even. I thought you just pulled a lever. But now they're all electronic, so it's like I. I love the feeling of pulling a lever.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So when you take that away, what am I. I'm just looking at a mobile game.

[Beck Bennett]

Hit the button. You're just hitting the thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Terrible. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes. I feel like anytime you look at a slot machine, like. Like something will line up, but you just have no idea what you're aiming for. Or that's like, if you do, then you. Sometimes you win and you're like, yeah, exactly. Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's not for me at all.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that's smart. That's the way to go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. Yeah, I guess it probably is. Well. But I feel like setting a limit and being like, this will be fun, and then my money will be gone. It's the same as playing arcade games or something.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. And if you get a couple hours of entertainment and excitement, it's like going to a amusement park.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

I was thinking of, after this, going to buy baseball cards. Going to buy packs of baseball cards, which essentially is the same thing. Like, you're.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're paying Chance.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You may already own all of those cards.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

But I might get. You never know what you're gonna pull.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where would you buy a baseball card now?

[Kyle Mooney]

Burbank sports cards.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Burbank sports cards.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Beck Bennett]

Burbank sports cards. Burbank sports cards. Is that hard to say? Burbank Sports car cards.

[Kyle Mooney]

Did I say.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no. Burbank sports cards. It's something. Burbank sports Cards.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's three vowels, shapes that are very different from each other, I think. Burr Bank Sports.

[Beck Bennett]

Sports card card.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's tough. I went. There is one close to us in Eagle Rock. Yeah, there's one in Eagle Rock.

[Kyle Mooney]

Gamesandcards.com.

[Beck Bennett]

yeah. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Games.com. kind of like yummy.com.

[Kyle Mooney]

yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Our favorite grocery store.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's always good to put the dot com.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can you go in there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can go in there. But I wonder if you have to buy it online before going in.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't think so, because I've been into one once, but it felt wrong. It felt like I was walking into the Internet. I don't know why.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is very cool.

[Beck Bennett]

Not because of the store, just because. And I was like, am I doing this wrong? You know? I was like, I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Like, I would never think, oh, I have to go to the grocery store. I'll go to yummy.com. is that what it's called? Yeah, it's called Yummy.

[Kyle Mooney]

That sounds like you need, like, a portal to get into it.

[Beck Bennett]

That's what I'm saying. It's like. It's just a name, but did this thing to my head where I was like, there. I must be missing a stuff. Right? There's a dot com. There must be some sort of digital.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, because, like, just walking up to a cash register atyummy.com with, like, your produce, there's got to be one more step between you and the cash register.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No sense.

[Beck Bennett]

Not right. I don't like it. I don't like it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was their deal. It was probably just food delivery at some point.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think that sounds right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now they have probably one and a half locations left.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And. And I guess you can still just go to yummy.com, maybe they have a message board. They should add that sort of thing to the website.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe get like a Patreon or something. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Support us through. Support our grocery store through Patreon.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm surprised we haven't been asked to do ads for yummy dot com.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know if the money's there, unfortunately. I bet they were an early podcast advertiser.

[Kyle Mooney]

I don't know if you had any. Like, sort of during the pandemic, during lockdown, like, we were ordering nuts from nuts.com?

[Bridger Weiniger]

oh, I've almost ordered from nuts.com?

[Beck Bennett]

yeah, I never, never have never even thought about it. Like, you needed them. Did you need that many or you. There were specific. That was the, like, I don't know. I.

[Kyle Mooney]

That was the turning point where it's like, we gotta get some nuts in here. Where do we get them? And it's like, oh, nuts dot com.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But not like grocery delivery.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, it was at. It was. Yeah. I don't know. I think it was early on. I don't know what we had, you know, neuroses and nerves about like kind

[Bridger Weiniger]

of anything involving the grocery store. You needed specific types of nuts or whatever. I think I eat a lot of Brazil nuts, so I probably went to nuts, give me some Brazil nuts and then realize you could just buy nuts on any platform.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. You realize. Seems specific.

[Kyle Mooney]

I mean, I know we're like probably 30 years too late, but if there is a product that doesn't have a web address, like, oh, do some cyber squatting. Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

I used to do that with my buddies, John and Gabe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You were cyber squatters.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, they would like. We would get websites that we thought would be better valuable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did any of them pay off?

[Beck Bennett]

No, none of them paid off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you remember any of them?

[Beck Bennett]

No, I don't. A lot of them were jokes too. Like be like. Get like. Like chocolate chip witch.com or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like inside jokes kind of safe though. That seems like it could be something.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. Chip witch sandwich. Chip witch ice cream sandwich. I think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It feels like an either a way to make money or just get sued by the company.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But at some point. Yeah, I think there was like that famous example of the guy order or buying pizza.com and the. And that was his life.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

His life's work, essentially selling pizza dot com.

[Beck Bennett]

That's great.

[Kyle Mooney]

And who got. You think it's like a major corporation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I bet it was like one of our dominoes or something. Yeah. I recently, because I miss good websites. I thought website.com would be a good. And then have like a classic website to use. You know, we all miss just a website to go to, but I think it was taken. So it's a shame. And it was for no purpose. Of course it's a bad website.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Somebody needs to. We just need one solid website.

[Beck Bennett]

It would be nice to have a like an old, like old school comedy website. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just something you go to and you know you'll. What you're getting.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

What was your. Yeah, what is your. What were your inner early Internet like sort of in like interactions.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Middle school, a lot of looking up Nintendo video games, like n64.com. Then it like bled into music with like Pitchfork.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dusted Magazine is like a review website like through college. And then that's when things started falling apart. When it became like, oh, there was a brief period just a few years ago that Gawker was good, like actually good writing. And then the money fell out and now it's some scam. What were you guys going to early Internet?

[Kyle Mooney]

I mean, I went to oldschoolhiphop.com.

[Bridger Weiniger]

oh, that's a cool one.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I really like websites. Yeah, I liked, I like, I liked the cartoons my older brothers were into. Like. So, like, this is nerdy. But like, like Transformers wasn't on TV anymore. But like I got into like watching the intros to like the Transformers cartoons that came out in like the late 80s that I had never been exposed to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

And so I would search like those like things that like now because of YouTube are so easy to find and prevalent. But like, you would find a site dedicated to this sort of like niche thing and I'd like download like a

[Bridger Weiniger]

real player video of like, it would take seven hours.

[Kyle Mooney]

Season six intro to Transformers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

I would do. I was like, I was just trying. I was finding like sketches and specifically Mr. Show season three and four on Lime. I remember that's like what I was doing in high school.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And what website would you go to? Would it be like a Mr. Show fan site?

[Beck Bennett]

No, it was just. I would just go to lime to like a napkin to like download episodes and sketches.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Napster, Kazaa.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But.

[Beck Bennett]

But full on websites. I don't really remember many early, like maybe in college. Just like the typical Ebaums World.

[Kyle Mooney]

And, like, there's like, a very specific video from Ebaum's World that sort of, like, has really imprinted in my head that I've not watched since 2004, probably.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

I wonder if either of you are aware of it. I'm thinking, no, but you could have been in a room with me watching it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's a video of, like, I want to say, three dudes in seemingly a dorm room. Somebody's holding a camera and, okay, interesting. Kind of classic style, but one of the guys throws a pair of scissors at the other guy, and it lands, like, I think, in his hand or arm.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

And then the guy's. The guy's like, why did you do that? Look at that. Look at what you did. Why did you do that?

[Beck Bennett]

That sounds familiar. But I've also. I feel like I've seen other videos of people getting darts stuck in their skin.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, they're a dime a dozen now.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. They're all over the place. So I can't. Can't say.

[Kyle Mooney]

I gotta find that scissors video.

[Beck Bennett]

You gotta find that scissors.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I bet it's a famous video that, like, at some point, so many people had seen it because there were, like, 50 videos online, right. So almost everyone would see these videos. Videos.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was an early video like that that I remember, like, two moms in a fight, maybe at an airport, about one of their kids having THC in their system. And then one of them just punches the other one in the face.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it was one of those early things where now, like, you see waivers online, but you're like, whoa, I can't believe I'm seeing this.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Now I'm like, I don't know if this is real or not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Most of the time it's not. Or it's like. Like, even if it is real, it was planned in advance or. It's terrible. It's all ruined.

[Beck Bennett]

It's all ruined.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's all essentially terrible.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, do we have anything to say about these cigarillos? Cigarillo?

[Beck Bennett]

Cigari. I think it's cigarillo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cigario.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know Cigarillo.

[Kyle Mooney]

I. I would say cigarillo, but I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cigario.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. That's probably more accurate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I'm sure that's how it's supposed to be said.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

This was a popular item at Scripps Ranch high school circa 1999 to 2003. I don't know if people were.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

With these people were New Trier.

[Beck Bennett]

Not. I mean, you know, I think they were trying to steal like legit cigars from their dad's, you know, cigars.

[Kyle Mooney]

But sometimes you could like, you could smoke them obviously as they are, but you could also.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't want to inhale those.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You could maybe sped inhaling.

[Beck Bennett]

I think so. Right. No inhaling on those. It's like a cigar.

[Kyle Mooney]

That sounds right.

[Beck Bennett]

They're very. You want that in your mouth. You want to swish it around like a nice cognac.

[Kyle Mooney]

You could also slice it open and I think it. And like sort of turn it into a quasi blunt.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you're interested in.

[Beck Bennett]

That would be fun. I haven't had a blunt in decades, probably.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And this feels like so ready made.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And there's something a little like contraband about turning one of these.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that's pretty badass. That's like if you show up somewhere and you like cut one of those open and you're like rolling a big fat blunt.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

That's really. You have like immediate street creds.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People, I mean, they're wondering like, what sort of choices does this person make basically? Where did this person come from?

[Beck Bennett]

The tip of the iceberg. What else is there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kyle Mooney]

It is to me though, so funny that like this. I don't know how you guys felt, what it was like growing up, but like the idea of like 16 year olds, like 16 year old, like just like in like kind of somewhat wealthy communities, like kind of smoking blunts. I don't know, something about it is very silly to me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's like listening to like the Chronic 2001 or something like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. But cigars. Cigars were a big deal in I think in junior high or like. No, like 14, 15, a lot of kids. I went. I went to Walgreens once and stole a bunch of cigars. I went to the bathroom and took off the security wrap and threw it in the trash and put them in my pocket and walked out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The fact that you could just pick them up is crazy. Like there was a time period when they were right.

[Beck Bennett]

Fully locked up, just in the aisle open.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And I would go to construction sites where they were building new houses and like smoke cigars there with friends.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I miss going into like a construction half constructed house, just wandering around.

[Beck Bennett]

So fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love that there's a slight element of danger, but you know, if somebody shows up, you haven't done anything wrong.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They'll ask you to leave.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I think they could. I think they could prosecute you. I think they could turn the cops on you and you could be. Yeah, it is trespassing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think as an adult, it's probably a different situation.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Especially if you're, like, walking away with lumber or.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. There is stuff on those sites to kind of find, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, right.

[Beck Bennett]

Sneak into the trucks and stuff. Yeah. I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When was the first time you smoked anything?

[Beck Bennett]

It must have been a cigar, like, seventh or eighth grade.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And was there, like, a pressure or were you the. Did you spearhead the attempt?

[Beck Bennett]

I think. I don't know if I spearheaded it, but, like, there were other kids that were older and they were, like, maybe surprisingly. I think, like, the parents were okay with us taking a couple puffs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Cause we weren't inhaling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

And. Yeah. I think I remember doing it around, like, junior high graduation with some parents. They were like, you can have some puffs, but don't inhale.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's very French. Yeah, right, right.

[Kyle Mooney]

I remember my first time smoking wee. More so than, like, a cigarette. And it was. I don't want to throw my brother under the bus, but it was a situation. I was visiting him in college at Berkeley, and I was doing a bit, actually, I was in eighth grade, and he had some sort of, like, weird trinkets on his table, and I said something like, do you use those for your drugs? And he's like, how long have you known that I do drugs? And I was like, oh, I didn't know. And then he spoke me out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Out.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. Who did this?

[Kyle Mooney]

Sean.

[Beck Bennett]

Sean, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So he was initially, like, mad or felt like you were going to rat out.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think he felt bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think he felt.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think there was, like, remorse that,

[Bridger Weiniger]

like, he had disappointed you.

[Kyle Mooney]

You. Yeah, exactly. You've known about this when, like, I was fully, like, just messing around. And then, yeah, I, I, I smoked for the first time and kind of haven't been the same since.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's okay. It does that to some people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never smoked a cigarette.

[Beck Bennett]

Never?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Never. Not once. But I grew up in Mormon culture and, like, dare. Elementary school culture, so it was like a double thing of being afraid of cigarettes.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right. I mean, they really don't offer anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No appeal whatsoever.

[Beck Bennett]

When I first smoked a cigarette, it was. I don't know if this is a thing, and now I'm hesitant to even put it out there, but it doesn't really matter. It's fine. But there was. Was immediate arousal from smoking a cigarette. Yes, Immediately, like, whoa. Like, the first couple times, like. And I think I did it by myself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What?

[Beck Bennett]

I think, like, my. There was, like, a pack of cigarette. Like, I found a cigarette and, like, did it when my parents were out. And it was. It was a wild experience. I mean, it was like a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What is the psychological tie there? That's.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know. I don't know. But I'm surprised. I'm surprised I haven't heard about it more. But I was, like, around the same time, junior high, maybe.

[Kyle Mooney]

Could it be tied in at all to, like, imagery of people smoking cigarettes after sex?

[Beck Bennett]

I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that makes a little. Oh, okay.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, because it was like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sorry for bringing it up.

[Beck Bennett]

No, it was. It was chemical. It was like a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was fully chemical.

[Beck Bennett]

Whoa. That's crazy. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is the tobacco company's last secret.

[Kyle Mooney]

But you've not. You've.

[Beck Bennett]

They should get it out there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. They should let people know this is a new plus. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Them.

[Kyle Mooney]

You no longer feel anything like that?

[Beck Bennett]

Unfortunately not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I keep trying, but you're smoking more and more and more.

[Beck Bennett]

Come on. Come on, do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just burning through packs. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. One of these days, maybe. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wonderful. Now I've got something to smoke and no winnings whatsoever. When was the last time you saw Jaws? I saw it for the first time last year.

[Beck Bennett]

First time last year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting experience.

[Beck Bennett]

What did you. How did you receive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was one scary part, the part with the dead body in the water.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The rest of the movie did not scare me at all. And then there was way too much of just men talking on a boat to each other, just, like, kind of connecting. I feel like that could have gone away.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think there are people that specifically love that stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I'm sure. And they're wrong.

[Beck Bennett]

We want to see the shark. We want to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm here to watch the shark do its thing. And watching Richard Dreyfuss connect on a human level or whatever is of no interest to me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I think growing up, I mean, I saw Jaws and I saw it too early, and I was haunted by it. Afraid of the ocean, the depths of the ocean. But I remember, I think, Jaws 2 even more.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I bet it has more Jaws.

[Beck Bennett]

It has more Jaws and less emotional connecting with the older guys. And there was, like, more gore. Gore and stuff. I think that's where they kill him at the end when he, like, bites onto the electric rod.

[Kyle Mooney]

And there's one at, like, sailing.

[Beck Bennett]

They're. They're on a sailboat. Oh, yeah. Like a water thing. Jazz 3, maybe. I don't.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, I remember that. Was definitely like my friend Matt, we went over to his house and like we rented all the Jaws movies. Different sleepover nights and like sleepovers. The movies. It was, it's one of those like entry level, like tight like sounds and titles that it's like, should we rent Jaws? Like not knowing anything. But it's like, okay, that's gonna be scary. There's something sort of exotic about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In adult.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Beck Bennett]

I remember I. Speaking of the rental days, I tried to. For one of my birthdays we were having a sleepover. I wanted to get don't be a menace, the Waynes brothers one to South Central. Drinking your juice in the hood. Was that the full title title?

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

And we wanted to get that. But my parents or my older brother got don't be a menace, just a menace to society. Menace to society instead. Which is like an R rated, intense, you know, movie. And it was, it was really intense. We started watching that when I was way too young. We thought it was going to be a comedy. All these little kids like, oh no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Waiting for it to be fun.

[Kyle Mooney]

Were you, did you with your Mormon upbringing, were you like kind of only. What was the curation of like movie movies?

[Bridger Weiniger]

We were not allowed to watch R rated movies. And there was like this. I think they've kind of been sued into oblivion at this point. But there was like a business that would edit movies and rent them out to people called clean flicks.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So there was a period of time where there were like several movies I had seen R rated movies that like watching them as an adult, I just didn't realize there were huge chunks cut out. Out of it. So I think like the first really R rated movie I ever saw was in high school. I was probably in. I think it was maybe 28 days later. Yeah, I don't think I saw a lot of R rated movies prior to that. Occasionally I think my dad would take us to movies. But it was just like, well I, I want to see this. And I have these three boys. What else am I going to do with them? Sure, we're going to the movies. And none of the movies appeal to me whatsoever. But yeah, I think that's still kind of a thing. You don't watch an R rated film as a Mormon.

[Kyle Mooney]

Interesting.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh wow.

[Kyle Mooney]

And that like what is the. What gets cut out? I mean obviously like nudity. I imagine violence, curse words.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And this is where we get into some interesting territory. Absolutely no violence would ever be cut out. Just nudity or sex.

[Kyle Mooney]

And could you say the F word.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can't say the F word. I think that's probably.

[Beck Bennett]

But violence was open. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Violence is totally fine.

[Beck Bennett]

Of course, of course, of course. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Classic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Classic.

[Beck Bennett]

But the human body don't want to see that movie. I want to see the. The boobs and butts. I'm sure there are no penises. It's only been happening more recently. Wasn't that a thing? Like, if there was a penis in a movie, that would be like, X rated.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Like, that was not allowed whatsoever.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, okay, guys, here's the rules. Here are the rules. No penises, only boobies, okay?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do they vote?

[Beck Bennett]

Like, yeah, it's a bunch of guys in a room.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How did they come to that decision?

[Beck Bennett]

Not allowed to see a penis in a movie?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then how does it. Like, how have they changed their minds on that? They like, let's get together and talk about dicks again.

[Beck Bennett]

Just like, yeah, it's a board of guys. And they're like, penises are approved. You guys have been thinking comedically, if possible. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then I'm sure there's, like, an amount of time that it can be shown. I think we have loosened up quite a bit to the point of, like, they're probably not timing it anymore.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like counting the amount of times that you see it. But there was a point when I think it was like, well, if you see a flash or a blink of one, that's fine.

[Beck Bennett]

You can get away with that. That could be PG13 category.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe not. Oh, a penis.

[Beck Bennett]

Not a piece. Maybe like a quick 80s, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Could have been PG13. Or a butt. I've seen some, like, G or PG movies with a butt. Really? I feel like I've seen a commercial with a butt, to be honest.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, my gosh, I have.

[Kyle Mooney]

We've got to get the ratings rated.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was PG 13.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, that I remember.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that was a big one. As far as, like, if you were like a teenager or like an elementary schooler, wait till you see Titanic.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Was there. Was there boob and butt in that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's boob.

[Kyle Mooney]

I know he drew her, but yeah, she's naked.

[Beck Bennett]

She's naked.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. But yeah, it'd be funny if you didn't see her. You just saw drawing. Just the drawing.

[Beck Bennett]

And the drawing was kind of bad. Was that what he's seeing or is he just not good at drawing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then the public goes wild for it.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's a really good drawing.

[Beck Bennett]

It's better than the real thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's something. In movies, if a character Is drawing something will always be funny to me when the drawing's revealed. Like a sincere drawing.

[Beck Bennett]

It's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. So stupid looking.

[Beck Bennett]

One of the funniest parts of the movie pop star to me is when Andy Samberg's character shows us drawings of horses. It's like, these are my horse genome.

[Kyle Mooney]

There's also a great bit in road trip where Andy Dick. I don't know, he's like, working at. I don't know if it's a gas station or whatever, but he's watching a Bob Ross episode, which, like Bob Ross, you know, iconically, is like, at is painting these beautiful, like, environments and trees and like. Yeah. A little dash of green or whatever. And then Andy dig is going along and just like a really shitty drawing version of the painting. And it's very, very funny to me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And I'm sure it would be very.

[Kyle Mooney]

The year 2001.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure be funny to all of us. But you. We got to see it. Same with the horses and pop Star. You got to go see it. Can't really describe these things. Not saying you messed up. I messed up. You know? No. It's just not going to be as good as it is. No, no.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, no. Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.

[Kyle Mooney]

No. I think that. I mean, I feel like there are some people out there listening to this. Like, that sounds like funny.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, it's not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm laughing already.

[Beck Bennett]

I can see it now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's possible.

[Beck Bennett]

The cheese.

[Kyle Mooney]

The cheese. I can see it now.

[Beck Bennett]

The cheese. The trees are cheese and the. The clouds are. I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Perfect. Let's play a game. I think it's a play game.

[Beck Bennett]

I got us real quick.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

San Luis Obispo. Great shirt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you. That's a. I got this at in Highland park at a place called Leader of the pack.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like a nice little vintage store. That's not too crazy. Price. It's wonderful.

[Beck Bennett]

Is it on York or.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's on York. Near Joy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Okay. I'm wonderful.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can I tell you something that bothers me about Joy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Please.

[Beck Bennett]

I love joy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love Joy. And I'd like to hear a complaint.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. There's always a long line. Right. But to me, the delivery is perfect. I don't know why people are spending so much time going into the restaurant.

[Beck Bennett]

I absolutely agree. I only get it delivered. I've never been to the restaurant.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've never been?

[Beck Bennett]

No, I've been to Pine and Crane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

And love it. It's a great experience.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I find the life Line at Pine and Crane more problematic than at Joy, because first of all, you have to find parking in one of the worst parking situations on earth.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then the line could stretch around the building.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Joy. There's easy parking if you get there around 6 to 6:30. No line. But I agree.

[Kyle Mooney]

Have you had both versions?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I gotta say, I've actually never eaten inside. You've never eaten inside because the line intimidates me.

[Beck Bennett]

Do they ever have something at the restaurant that they don't have available for delivery?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think so.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you really. It travels so well.

[Kyle Mooney]

It really does travel well.

[Beck Bennett]

I think that's it.

[Kyle Mooney]

And it's like. Yeah, I feel like you're getting the experience.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's like, become a staple of our rotation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, it's good. It's so good. And it's just, like, kind of simple. You can get like, the rice with pork, rice with chicken, some greens.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dan.

[Kyle Mooney]

Dan.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Noodles.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never had the omelette delivered. The pancake.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, is that work delivered?

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Very, very good. Very good with. I get it with everything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I always get everything. I can't imagine it without everything.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I know, I know. You need it all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Listener, we're talking about a restaurant.

[Beck Bennett]

It's one of the best. Breakfast sandwiches, I would say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that makes sense. It's a breakfast sandwich.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

You live in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I live in Highland Park. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Cool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Listener. If you're ever in Highland Park, California, and you want to wait in a line, Joy is the place to go.

[Beck Bennett]

Go to Joy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it's a lovely place, and it feels like they're almost doing a public service because it's still affordable and it's still very.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And your complaint is not really a complaint about the restaurant at all.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no.

[Kyle Mooney]

The food is great. I'm just like. I want to tell the people in line, like, just so you know, you can have an alternative plan here. You can do something else.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, complaining about the line there. Actually, I was there two nights ago, and this is a complaint about human behavior, where the line started getting long. And rather than waiting outside, everyone, this group decided to start just lining up around tables. So they were just standing within inches of us in line. Wouldn't. If the line was at. To the door, would you decide to wait outside the door or would you start to fill up the restaurant?

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely. Wait outside. This kind of thing happened to me recently at Proof, where I was like, get Proof Bakery. Right. And I was like, getting some stuff with My son. They were like, there's a little area. And I was, like, getting some flowers and some other. I was, like, looking through some bouquets. Bouquets.

[Bridger Weiniger]

An impossible word.

[Beck Bennett]

Impossible. Possible. And people were, like, filling in to get in line and getting in our way and, like, congesting the restaurant. I was like, why are you doing this? Just, like, wait until there's space and you can just wait outside.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It makes me kind of irrationally angry.

[Beck Bennett]

Me, too. I threw some comments like, why would you do this? Had to get in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I start making, like, I vocalize some sort of complaint.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Probably just a noise.

[Beck Bennett]

Very passive. They'll be like, was that for me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm kind of liking this. Just get closer to him. Okay, we're going to play a game called Gift or curse, but I need a number between 1 and 10 from

[Kyle Mooney]

you, from both of us together.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're coming up. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Should we.

[Beck Bennett]

On three.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. Yeah, Wait. Sorry. We're staying at the same time.

[Beck Bennett]

3. See if we have the same number.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. Okay. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Okay, I want to. I want to lock into you.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. I have one.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. I have. I'm between two different options. I'm trying to read where you're at.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. On three, we go, 1, 2, 3. Then we say.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, 1, 2, 3, 6.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fuck.

[Kyle Mooney]

That was my other one.

[Beck Bennett]

Dude, Amazing. Awesome job. Let's go five.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Five. It feels like a five, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Well, I mean, it means so little.

[Beck Bennett]

I thought you were going to have three and six. So anyway, really cool stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It would have been incredible if you had landed on.

[Kyle Mooney]

We've been doing. We actually have found a couple moments in our course of podcasting where we have been, like, mentally locked in.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got to just practice.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, we were really close. Yeah, we'll work on it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or just agree on one number that you'll always do.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

True.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Simple cheat. Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces, so right now you can recommend promoting. Do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. Great listeners. Kyle and I have an incredible podcast called what's Our Podcast? Where we don't know what our podcast should be about. So we have a guest come on, and they tell us, and we try it. We're always searching. We will never not be searching. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's a fun chance for Beck and I to hang out together. We've known each other since we were 18 years old. We worked on Saturday Night Live together, which was actually a really cool job.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it was really amazing with everybody in New York City.

[Kyle Mooney]

And if you think about, like, to me, that's like sort of a comedy institution. I think of, like, the old school era, and then there was, like, different eras. And just to be a part of it was really, really special. And to do it with one of your friends, you were obviously. You've been one of my friends.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you've been one of my friends, and I made many other friends there, and I'm hopefully gonna be making more friends.

[Kyle Mooney]

We don't do the show anymore.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no. We are not on snl.

[Kyle Mooney]

So now it's like sort of. We're in the. The podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

So, yeah, we've graduated and we've moved up a notch to podcasting now. So it's like.

[Kyle Mooney]

And it's been really fascinating sort of learning the ins and outs of each other.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, definitely the ins. The outs I've always known about. But the ins are definitely pretty interesting. But we have a lot of fun. So come check us out. New episodes every week, Wednesday, and definitely check out Motown. We all want. We actually want to plug Motown. It's not. It's. We want to make sure that people. People. It's still getting.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's sort of Barry Gordy's label.

[Beck Bennett]

Because if they don't. If people don't keep listening to Motown, it will go away, and we don't want it to go away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Support artists.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Not the new ones, the old ones.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The ones that are absolutely dead by now. Yeah. Everyone go listen to that podcast. Their podcast is so wonderful. And do I have anything to recommend? I just don't. No dinner? I've been listening to a lot recently is the. The first album from the Avalanches. Do you know that album?

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Since you've been. Since I left you Oh, I listen to this once a year. Then it just is on the radio or on my stereo the entire time. It's incredible. Classic Avalanches. Since I left you Great.

[Kyle Mooney]

Now do you get. You have a recommendation almost every episode?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Almost never. I always forget.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

So when I actually, I just kind of try to think of, oh, what was I listening to on the way here? Essentially, all my memory is horrible.

[Kyle Mooney]

And do you get a sense. Do you ever get any interaction with your listeners of like, oh, I like that too. Or do you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yeah. Which then puts on pressure to, like, do another recommendation. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like, I don't want to let people down with a bad rec. Sure.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I'm very careful and just can't remember anything. So it keeps me safe. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

And you did not like Jaws.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I liked parts of Jaws. I waited too long to see Jaws.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a fun take. I'm sure you get a lot of fights with, you know, coming in and be like, gotta say it. Don't like Jaws.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Jaws sucks.

[Beck Bennett]

Jaws sucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, we're gonna play gift or a curse. I'm going to name three things. You will tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers, and you kind of have to come to a consensus on this.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, we can do that. It's practicing our mind melding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kyle Mooney]

But we can also, like, if we're. You can start. Yeah, we can.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This first one is from a listener named Anna. Gift or a curse? When a driver creeps alongside you in a full parking lot, then asks if you're leaving as you walk to your car.

[Beck Bennett]

That interesting? Well, because you. You. If you are walking to your car and you're leaving, you're not in the

[Bridger Weiniger]

car you're walking to. They're kind of following you.

[Beck Bennett]

I can't really see how it could be a gift because it's not like you need somebody to take your parking spot.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah. To me, listen, I like the act of. I love helping people out. Right. And I like the idea that somebody gets to take this thing that is coveted. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Kyle Mooney]

But, yeah, I do agree with you that I just. You're putting pressure immediately. I'm like, I'll be like, behind the wheel. Like, fuck. How quickly can I get out of here? I'm nervous all of a sudden when I know that, like, this thing is in play.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And I don't think I would go talk to somebody and be like, hey, where you parked? You leaving? Can I get your spot?

[Kyle Mooney]

That's creepy.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, I would just drive around until I see them. I would maybe follow them, like, kind of clock them. And if they go in, then I'm, like, pulling up and putting my blank. Well, that's.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's. Yes, that is the. I think that is the common move. You just sort of park, put your hazards on, and then, like.

[Beck Bennett]

But also, like, think, like, if you're a woman and a guy, like, you leaving, like, I'm going to follow you to your car. No, that's a curse. That sounds like a horror movie. So I think we should say curse. I think we disagree, dude. So you.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm with you. It's definitely a curse.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm with you. It's definitely a curse. What if. What is it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wrong gift. Gift how? This puts you in the driver's seat. You're in a position of power now. You can walk as. And you're getting, you know, got eyes on you. You've got somebody kind of taking a look and paying a little attention to you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, you are twisted.

[Beck Bennett]

You are twisted. I think last time I was here, I got everyone wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You did.

[Beck Bennett]

I think so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've got a fight today. You absolutely got a fight. No, this. And also what a nice connection you can make with another person you're giving. You're doing the favor. You're saying, yeah, I can help you out today.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I do see that. We do need more human contacts, and we are looking for it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It kind of gives you whatever you want. You get to make whatever you want of this situation. You can torture them. You can help them out. You can just maybe kind of go,

[Beck Bennett]

I wasn't going to leave, but if you give me 20 bucks, you could threaten them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can demand payment. So it is a gift. So you got one wrong, and that's fine so far. The second one is from a little named Marty. Gift or a curse? Tall people at concerts.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, now, I want to say this is a curse because really. But it seems like I get everything wrong. I'm thinking about it backwards. I'm thinking about it, like, too obviously or something. So let's talk this out. Tall people at concerts. Why?

[Kyle Mooney]

What's good about it?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, they're in your way.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, if we're going off the logic of, like, whatever, I feel like I could be stretching here, but, like, oh, this is a chance for human interaction, kindness, et cetera, et cetera. Like, oh, this is a person who gets to experience this piece of art. Right. And like, that in itself is maybe positive, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Sure. For them.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, arguably for the community, who knows?

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, we'll see.

[Kyle Mooney]

But yes, I think that is the. I think that's the most positive thing I could think of.

[Beck Bennett]

I think it's tall person. Tall person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Tall. Tall people at concerts. That's what it says.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, if you're with them and it's hard to see, they could be telling you what's going on. They could be like, they're coming on stage, you know, they're picking up the guitar, they're waving to the audience. That's if you're really short and you're

[Bridger Weiniger]

with the most annoying tall person that's ever lived.

[Beck Bennett]

Kind of a. Kind of a R. Kelly doing DVD commentary. At the concert. I have to. I mean, I feel like it's.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think it's. I mean, curse. I feel like we both immediately.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. I mean, how could I possibly say anything different? I mean, it's just been the curse of my life.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was at a concert a couple of months ago. I was standing on a thing, and the man was still taller than me.

[Beck Bennett]

Really.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And he wouldn't get out of the way.

[Beck Bennett]

Do you know what I can't stand is the people who. Well, I don't know. The people who stand up and dance when everybody's sitting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

You don't like that. I disagree.

[Beck Bennett]

I kind of go back on it. Cause I'm like, great. You should stand up and dance. This is wonderful to me.

[Kyle Mooney]

See, I don't like the idea of, like, being seated and being like, ugh.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I don't like that.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's sort of like giving, like, kind of the Royal Court.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I know. I know, but it's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like there's like, an in between where, like, people know. You start to feel that everyone's going to start dancing. So somebody stands up, and then it happens quickly. But if one person's just dancing and no one has stood up, something's wrong.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's even more so, but less that they're in my way and more so that they have become a sideshow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. I have to look at this person,

[Beck Bennett]

and they're bad dancing and showing me how much they're enjoying it, how much it means to them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You can picture them telling people, I love live music, Right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's that personality.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think it's maybe also dependent on, like, the act, the musical act. Like, is this danceable music? Is this music that, like, people should be dancing versus, like, there's no need to be dancing right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You're doing this for yourself. Attention.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's terrible. But you got the point. You got the point on this one.

[Bowen Yang]

That's good for you.

[Kyle Mooney]

And at the end, what happens with all the points?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You get to do whatever you want with them.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. We can buy stuff in the store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You get to go to the general store. The. I said no gifts. General store.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This final one is from a listener named Lonnie. Gift or a curse. Astrologer.

[Beck Bennett]

I will say right away, I love the name Lonnie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Lonnie's a great name.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's a solid name.

[Beck Bennett]

There was a guy who ran the, like, cheeseburger. Like, he didn't run it, but he Was like one of the main guys at our, like, local cheeseburger and like, ice cream place. His name was Lonnie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a classic name. Classic.

[Kyle Mooney]

Really cool.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, Lonnie was really nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Short for something.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know. I didn't know him very well at all.

[Kyle Mooney]

And so like, here he is, like just around all the cheeseburgers and all

[Beck Bennett]

the cheeseburgers and fries and like, cheese.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's amazing. I think I, Yeah, I think I knew a guy like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. His name was Lonnie.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's fucking amazing.

[Beck Bennett]

Great story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

B.

[Beck Bennett]

Again, coming in with the.

[Kyle Mooney]

I believe there was a game stories,

[Beck Bennett]

a guy at the ice cream burger place.

[Kyle Mooney]

I remember an old, I remember Lonnie from growing up, actually. It was sort of a cheeseburger based restaurant,

[Beck Bennett]

kind of a cheese based, kind of a meat and cheese based burger restaurant.

[Kyle Mooney]

I believe they served ice cream. Ice cream there as well. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Now, what was the name?

[Kyle Mooney]

Astrology.

[Beck Bennett]

They actually made their own ice cream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The name is Lonnie. The gift or a curse is astrology.

[Kyle Mooney]

To me, I'm all gift.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Kyle is, Kyle is, is tapped into.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're a big astrology person.

[Kyle Mooney]

I, I.

[Beck Bennett]

Did you say you're astral? Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're on the plane.

[Beck Bennett]

You are astral.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm just making sure my feeling is whatever can give people hope. And I feel like, in terms of, like, you know, what's your sign? What's your sign? It's a way to connect with people. And I do. Typically, you're sounding pessimistic in a way

[Beck Bennett]

that makes me very nervous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't overthink it.

[Beck Bennett]

I love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

To me, I feel like it's. Yeah. It serves a similar purpose to religion. And like, obviously there's a lot of negativity that comes with religion, and there have been wars, et cetera, et cetera. But, like, it gives people hope. And that to me is a positive thing. I think largely, like you're reading your horoscope to be like, maybe something good will happen today.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Not like great, something bad will happen. You're not going to it to be like, all right, what, what shit's gonna happen? What shitstorm is coming?

[Kyle Mooney]

Right. I get how that can be a trap too.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

And it could be. Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

I will say, though, this is kind of adjacent. You've gotten. You're a little, you're into the astrology, the tarot cards, the numerology. And you said that this is your, your enemy.

[Kyle Mooney]

Year yeah. Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You create new enemies or your enemies thrive. What happens? It's.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's just a year where you sort of have to, like, kind of lay low. Oh, it's. It's a bad. It's a bad year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The year itself.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's proven to be right.

[Beck Bennett]

Really interesting. I looked it up because it's my enemy. Year two. Born in 84. Okay. And I. I was kind of of like. My thing was after talking to Kyle about this, it's like, huh, interesting. And then I kind of go like, no, like, I get to have whatever year I want.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going to take what I want.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going to stand up for myself.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's a good way to look at it.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm going to create my own luck.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I. Listen, I'm. I'm not. I'm not succumbing. I'm not like, surrendering to the enemy of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All. Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

But I'm just saying, like. Like, things are adding up in a bad way. Yeah. It's feeling like. Okay, I can see some legitimacy to

[Beck Bennett]

this, to this concept because of our Patreon numbers.

[Kyle Mooney]

That is one thing. Yes. Which, by the way, patreon.com.

[Bridger Weiniger]

support Patreon.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

Don't support us. Support Patreon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go to Patreon. It's a great service. Find stock, buy stock.

[Beck Bennett]

Somebody might want to pay $5 a month for now. Not us necessarily. Anybody. So you're gonna say a.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's how I feel. But, like, I am willing to go with curse if you think that. Like, I'm willing to go curse for the sake of the game. If that's.

[Beck Bennett]

No, I think. I think I'm gonna go with you. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. So we're gonna say gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. Correct.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, my God.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, that is huge relief.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's wonderful.

[Beck Bennett]

It's fun. It's fun to play around with. Yeah. Who cares if it's real or not? Not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like it's a little something.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's a little something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do they still sell the little wrapped up ones at the grocery store?

[Kyle Mooney]

They must.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That I miss.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't recall the wrapped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They almost look like a cigarette.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you could.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like a cigarillo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, exactly.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like a shorter cigarillo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They need to get those back.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I haven't seen those in a while and I loved those.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's a nice thing to break the ica. What is your sign, ladies? Libra.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Me too.

[Kyle Mooney]

That is the thing. I Love asking the question, but I

[Bridger Weiniger]

don't know what's anything.

[Beck Bennett]

I know. I wish I had more info, but

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll buy into whatever anybody tells me.

[Kyle Mooney]

I know that my wife and daughter are both Geminis and like, that. I could wrap my head. They're like the dual twin.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. We have. Do you guys know the birth book?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I got that on this podcast, actually.

[Beck Bennett]

I love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's incredible. It's very fun to read.

[Beck Bennett]

Very fun to read and read about other people. And sometimes it's lines up so well. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And just seeing who else was born on your birthday and that sort of thing. A good thing to have around this.

[Kyle Mooney]

Who do you have? I got Beyonce and baseball player Mike Piazza.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, wow. I actually don't know who I have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think maybe John Lennon.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's cool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels maybe.

[Kyle Mooney]

Are you. Wait, don't tell me your date. December? No, seventh or eighth.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I could have just stopped you.

[Beck Bennett]

He's a Libra. He's a Libra.

[Bridger Weiniger]

October 9th.

[Beck Bennett]

October 1st.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think I'm thinking of the date that John Lennon was murdered. I think it was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that makes sense as well. Horrible. Winter Day.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, when's your birthday?

[Kyle Mooney]

You know what? My mother was in labor on Labor Day, September 4, 1984.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very cool. Also that movie Labor Day where I think a guy escapes prison to make a peach pie or something. Remember this?

[Beck Bennett]

I don't remember this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I remember seeing a trailer where a guy escapes from prison, and then they're kind of just like in an intimate position making a peach pie. This came out in the last 10 years.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's not one of those, like, ensemble, like Valentine's Day?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it felt very much just like two people.

[Kyle Mooney]

Interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I think it was called Labor Day.

[Beck Bennett]

I have to see this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It sounds incredible. I've made a good pitch for it. Yeah, I sold you on it. Well, you got two out of three.

[Beck Bennett]

That's fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Incredible. All right, let's answer a listener question here. People are writing into I saidnogiftsmail.com just kind of begging for answers. This is high Bridger and controversial guest made a swing there. My husband's 32nd birthday is coming up and I don't know what to get him.

[Beck Bennett]

I.

[Kyle Mooney]

37.

[Beck Bennett]

I was like a 32nd birthday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who's heard of such a thing?

[Kyle Mooney]

37 or 32nd?

[Bridger Weiniger]

32nd.

[Kyle Mooney]

32nd, yeah. Husband.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's outrageous.

[Beck Bennett]

Do you understand what I thought? I thought it was a 32nd.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So many second.

[Beck Bennett]

He gets a quick birthday this year. Like he wants a 32nd birthday party. Like, okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

I was like, what is this?

[Beck Bennett]

And I.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I heard it as, like, I'm turning two again for the 30th time

[Bridger Weiniger]

is 30. 30th.

[Beck Bennett]

We're neurodiverse. Oh, wait, what? But

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm two again.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no, I'm two again.

[Kyle Mooney]

I keep on dropping a pen again, so.

[Beck Bennett]

Sorry. A pen or a penny?

[Kyle Mooney]

A penny. I'm obsessed with it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You don't need this penny here. I don't think it's going to break you.

[Beck Bennett]

You literally don't even make them anymore. You don't need it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, that's true.

[Kyle Mooney]

Beck knows I have my. I have my ticks. You're going to be thinking about the penny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Here.

[Beck Bennett]

Here's a nickel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We'll mail it to you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Here's a nickel to you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This man's turning 30 and she doesn't know what to get him. I'm unemployed and feel weird spending money on him. We have a toddler and he works a lot from home. He loves nice things. But we were saving up for a new deck. I'm lost. Please help. Love you deeply. That's from Sarah. So her husband is turning 32 years old. They're already saving up for a new deck. She does not want to spend any money on him.

[Kyle Mooney]

No money. What is that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're obviously in a fight.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like less than a dollar or less than $100.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Right? Like she doesn't want to go big or she wants to make something at home.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting. So she should have given that detail. That's the first part.

[Kyle Mooney]

How did you interpret it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I thought just, like, not a lot.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, yeah. You know, so like 50 bucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

50 bucks? Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, within that range. Or something made at home or maybe something for the deck.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I was thinking something for the deck. First thing I want to think of was, was a. It was an outdoor, like a little pizza oven. But that's expensive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, that's. If you get one under $50, you're in trouble.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you're in trouble. I was going to say maybe check out Facebook Marketplace.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, hop on Craigslist.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, Used ooni.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. But then why are they selling it?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, exactly. You can't trust the. The valves.

[Kyle Mooney]

My instinct, which is just, to me, like the most down the middle gift that is a home brewery kit.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, but that's a lot of work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels like you're giving someone an entirely new hobby.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's a lot, Kyle. It's like learning.

[Kyle Mooney]

But what. See, and I guess you Guys had this experience with the wooden spoon.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Kyle Mooney]

But to me, like, it's like. Yeah, but now it's on you. Like, this is your chance to get into something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure. I've opened a door for you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you want to walk through, great.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you love me. Great.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's more almost a gift for her if she wants to nag her husband a little bit and be like, are you gonna burst some bears? I haven't seen you open the kit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So this nagging wife, if she wants

[Beck Bennett]

to be naggy and spend no money, you want to be a naggy wife.

[Kyle Mooney]

You know what I like? Which I think. I don't know. Maybe this is too niche.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What.

[Beck Bennett]

What Laid on us because, like, gift certificates.

[Kyle Mooney]

Here's the thing. It could be too broad, right. But I like an ebay gift certificate. Certificate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Kyle Mooney]

Because you can get all sorts of

[Bridger Weiniger]

weird things on ebay for the price. You know, it's. You can find all kinds of things for under 50 bucks.

[Beck Bennett]

Whatever you're into.

[Kyle Mooney]

Whatever he's into, like, it's like, I want a vintage race car poster.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

That sounds great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And if he's a shrewd bidder on there, he could get several objects from ebay.

[Beck Bennett]

Honestly. So I don't know. We don't know much about this guy. They have the deck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They've got the deck coming up and that's about it.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And she's sick of spending money on

[Beck Bennett]

him, I think a cool old school, like, sports car poster.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, interesting. So you kind of just took Kyle's idea.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I'm supporting Kyle's idea.

[Kyle Mooney]

But you're skipping the, like, gift certificate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right?

[Kyle Mooney]

You're saying, like, the gift is the poster. That's what you like the most.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Do you have any race car posters? No, I had. I had a beautiful red, like.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, big old red sports.

[Kyle Mooney]

It was a. I don't know if it was a Lamborghini, but it's like right in my room. Like, you know, like on like a checkered floor, like kind of dark room.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like, when I'm older, I'm going to be driving that.

[Beck Bennett]

That is so cool, dude.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can you imagine driving a lamp?

[Beck Bennett]

They're bad. They're supposed to be not good. You can't drive them around.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that's not a practical.

[Beck Bennett]

Too low to the ground.

[Kyle Mooney]

It wasn't in. It was just like, I need to have a car poster in my room.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you're like, this is what guys do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let people know. I'm aware of this object.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm cool and tough and I want a hot rod.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think I ever had a car poster. I bought an old Lamborghini poster a few years ago at Goodwill in Palm Springs, thinking. But now it's just sitting in my closet because where does that go in a home?

[Kyle Mooney]

Right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it was a fun thing to look at for a minute. An old Lamborghini.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You know, and you gotta.

[Kyle Mooney]

Of course, you gotta go to the thing of, like, do we frame it right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Am I spending money?

[Kyle Mooney]

Am I spending $600 to frame this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

$4.

[Beck Bennett]

I feel like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are you looking up a picture of a Lamborghini?

[Beck Bennett]

I thought I had good, like, a gift section on my phone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, just like gift ideas.

[Beck Bennett]

You know what's really good? What's an amazing gift? The seat wedges in between your car and the middle console. Put the little. Do you know about these?

[Kyle Mooney]

No.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a stop. Something like a stop. It was like a shark tank thing, but you put it in there so you no longer drop your phone in between and under your seat. It takes away the wedge. Yeah, it puts in a wedge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's true.

[Beck Bennett]

It takes away the gap.

[Kyle Mooney]

The gap.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're kind of doing the car company's job for them.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. Really. And they. Because they don't make them, but this other company does. And it's a lifesaver. That's great because, like, you're driving, you're looking at directions. You drop your phone. It's, like, awful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then when you're fishing it out. Out. You're scratching your hand under the chair.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Terrible feeling.

[Beck Bennett]

So Those are like 10 bucks then. They're. They're incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Little fixes like that are nice gifts.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Maybe.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe call it little fixes. Little fixes and get them one of those. And maybe. Maybe another little fix.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I talk about. I got a car garbage can on this show once, and it changed my entire life.

[Beck Bennett]

I. I want to get a car garbage can too. I think car garbage can stoppers the stopper and maybe even a one of those big water bottle holders that adapts to the cup holder that makes it bigger. Change their life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because the cup holder doesn't hold anything.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it doesn't. No.

[Kyle Mooney]

How big is a current garbage can?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's probably like this big listener. It's like 10 by 10 inches.

[Kyle Mooney]

How many cans of daiko could you fit in there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I bet you could fit. If you're crushing them in there. 8.

[Beck Bennett]

It's supposed to be emptied regularly. There are different sizes, though. There are little ones for, like, little pieces.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Straw wrappers.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. That can go in the door. You know, there's often a pocket in the door. Are you doing the one that is, like, sort of on the passenger side?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, on the passenger side. Hanging on the back.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I can kind of just reach and put my garbage in there.

[Beck Bennett]

I think that would be. So that. I think that's what it is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Do the car combo.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And maybe the poster.

[Beck Bennett]

The poster. I think you could get that $50 for gifts. It's the car package.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Whatever you guys want.

[Beck Bennett]

Hey, we took your idea.

[Kyle Mooney]

No, no. It's, like, kind of changed, but what's. Whatever you guys want. No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. EBay gift certificates.

[Beck Bennett]

Thank you. EBay gift certificate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, we answered the question perfectly. And I hope she doesn't write back in. And now I've got all of my gifts. This is so lovely. I didn't win any money. None of us. I mean, it's kind of good that we don't have to, like, figure out how to share the money.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. That would have been complicated.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would have gotten contentious pretty quickly.

[Kyle Mooney]

We do have the second chance, though. Don't forget.

[Beck Bennett]

And I will. Yeah. You'll follow up on that, and we'll. We'll send the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Try to get a second chance chance.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. I'm gonna. I'll just. I'm just only gonna. Second chance the cash crush.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, this is gonna require that you create an account. I think that there's no way that they're just gonna say, oh, you win. This is the curse of all new sweepstakes. You know, there was a period when you could, like, open the candy bar wrapper, and it told you if you won.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now you have to go to

[Beck Bennett]

the website, create an account. Yeah. No. Get emails forever.

[Kyle Mooney]

Register for an account. Sign in to submit code, View second chance.

[Beck Bennett]

Promote motions that they. This. They are gonna.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're gonna sell your information, bleed you dry.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah. That is kind of like us.

[Kyle Mooney]

This is the second chance, guys. We have a second chance, guys.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. We fit the demo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of love put into that website.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Squarespace.com.

[Kyle Mooney]

one in a fedora, one in a backwards hat.

[Beck Bennett]

Cool, guys.

[Kyle Mooney]

Sort of like not quite doing a

[Beck Bennett]

high five, Just going in for it. Kind of a high. They're kind of doing the. What would you high five or something? Shake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What does that have to do with the lottery? Two men on a beach giving a high five.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe because they won.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah. I feel like this guy is Giving this guy a second chance.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm giving you one more try as a friend.

[Beck Bennett]

Tell the story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've had a lovely time with you too.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, I've had a great time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you for being here. And I'm going to think of something to reveal on your podcast next week. I've got to think of a new. I have one thing in mind. Kind of a crime I committed recently, technically, kind of some moral gray area that I might reveal.

[Beck Bennett]

Great. Okay. We can't wait to bring that up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I think that might be the tease.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Fantastic. I think we can look back on. I made a note of some things. We revealed my inspiration in life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your inspiration?

[Beck Bennett]

And you said something too, around the same time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you talked about Fab from the Strokes. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yes. That maybe what you said to Fab from the Strokes. We saw him at the satellite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There we go.

[Kyle Mooney]

Great. Those are good.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Good teases.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, Incredible teases.

[Beck Bennett]

We love to tease.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm a total tease listener. The podcast is over. Please do something else. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior production producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gift?

[Kyle Mooney]

Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me?

[Bowen Yang]

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[Kyle Mooney]

Paramount plus is now the home of all your BET favorites. What?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, with all new episodes of Tyler Perry's Divorce.

[Kyle Mooney]

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[Beck Bennett]

Just make sure we protect each other.

[Kyle Mooney]

And live sports like ufc. Welcome to the history books. New home, same family. Your BET favorites are now on Paramount. Subscribe now. I'm U.S. transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. We all get distracted when we drive, but how we handle these distractions can be a matter of life or death. Please put your phones on silent and take a mental note to focus on driving.

[Beck Bennett]

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