Chris Fleming Returns to Disobey Bridger During a Very Sensitive Time

Summary

Detailed Summary of "Chris Fleming Returns to Disobey Bridger During a Very Sensitive Time" – I Said No Gifts! Podcast

In the landmark fifth anniversary episode of "I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar", host Bridger Winegar celebrates half a decade of humor, heartfelt conversations, and the inevitable chaos that comes with insisting, "No gifts!" As part of the celebration, Bridger welcomes back comedian and actor Chris Fleming for a special reunion that promises laughter, camaraderie, and the signature gift-disobeying antics the podcast is known for.

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1. A Humorous Reunion

Timestamp [06:50]

The episode kicks off with Bridger reflecting on the significance of the fifth anniversary, amusingly contemplating his attire and the challenges he's faced over the years. He sets a playful tone by sharing his struggles with maintaining a presentable appearance for both video and audio formats.

Notable Quote:

Bridger Winegar: "It is the fifth anniversary episode. What does that mean for anyone? What does that mean for me? What does that mean for you?"

Chris Fleming makes his entrance with characteristic humor, immediately addressing the podcast's "No Gifts!" rule. Their banter teases the core concept of the show, where guests humorously subvert Bridger's request by bringing unexpected presents.

Notable Quote:

Chris Fleming: "When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no gifts."

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2. Diving into Personal Anecdotes and Pop Culture

Timestamp [08:00] - [15:00]

Bridger and Chris delve into a lively discussion about spy movies, reflecting on the complexities and often convoluted plots that make it hard to follow. Their conversation is peppered with jokes about classic spy tropes and the unrealistic expectations these films set.

Notable Quote:

Chris Fleming: "You can't have legs. And so he watches me."

Bridger Winegar: "Do you dare disobey me?"

The duo transitions seamlessly into sharing personal stories, including Bridger's experiences with his local coffee shop and humorous takes on everyday mishaps. Their chemistry is evident as they riff off each other's jokes, creating a dynamic and engaging dialogue.

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3. The "Gift or Curse" Game

Timestamp [84:00] - [88:00]

One of the episode's highlights is the interactive "Gift or Curse" game segment. Bridger introduces the game, challenging Chris to categorize various scenarios based on whether they are gifts or curses. This segment showcases their wit and ability to think on their feet.

First Round: Sneezing While Driving

Bridger Winegar: "Gift or a curse? Sneezing while driving."

Chris Fleming: "A curse. It's incredibly dangerous because you can't sneeze with your eyes open."

Second Round: MSG (Monosodium Glutamate)

Bridger Winegar: "Gift or a curse? MSG."

Chris Fleming: "A gift. It's a fun seasoning, despite the myths surrounding it."

The game not only provides laughs but also offers insightful commentary on common misconceptions and everyday experiences.

---

4. Light-Hearted Critiques on Entertainment and Technology

Timestamp [19:00] - [30:00]

Bridger and Chris continue their banter by critiquing contemporary entertainment, including Netflix's stand-up specials and popular TV shows. They humorously dissect the quality and cultural impact of various media, blending genuine opinions with comedic exaggeration.

Notable Quote:

Bridger Winegar: "There is something going on with Netflix. I feel like they still have a long way to go before they can be known as like something I can really respect."

Their conversation also touches on technological frustrations, such as the slow upload speeds of certain apps, which they portray in a light-hearted and relatable manner.

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5. Visceral Comedy and Storytelling

Timestamp [99:00] - [122:00]

The episode takes a more intense comedic turn as Bridger and Chris engage in over-the-top storytelling. They create elaborate, fictitious scenarios involving wedding ceremonies, car mishaps, and wacky inventions, all while maintaining their comedic flair.

Notable Quote:

Bridger Winegar: "If the divine were in charge of your license, that would be before parallel parking. Sneezing on the freeway."

This segment highlights their ability to build humorous narratives that entertain and engage listeners through absurdity and creativity.

---

6. Chaotic Conclusion with Alana Johnston

Timestamp [115:00] - [125:00]

As the episode nears its end, former guest Alana Johnston makes a surprise appearance, bringing her own brand of humor. She attempts to present Bridger with ice cream and a spoon, but the comedic chaos continues as the ice cream melts and environmental mishaps ensue.

Notable Quote:

Alana Johnston: "I brought you a tiny ice cream that's mainly melted and a big cut on my hands. And here's a tiny spoon for you."

The trio's interactions escalate the humor, culminating in Bridger hilariously navigating the mess while maintaining his cool demeanor.

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Conclusion: Celebrating Five Years of Laughter

Bridger wraps up the episode by acknowledging the podcast's longevity and expressing gratitude to Chris Fleming and listeners for their continued support. The episode encapsulates the essence of "I Said No Gifts!"—a blend of heartfelt moments, sharp wit, and the unpredictable humor that comes from challenging Bridger's no-gift rule.

Notable Quote:

Bridger Winegar: "The podcast is over five years. Hopefully, we'll do it for at least another month. We'll see. You know, life is so fragile now. That's such a dark thing to say."

The episode not only celebrates a significant milestone but also reinforces the podcast's commitment to entertaining its audience with genuine, unfiltered conversations.

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Overall Impression

This fifth anniversary episode of "I Said No Gifts!" stands out as a testament to Bridger Winegar's ability to sustain engaging and humorous content over multiple years. The reunion with Chris Fleming brings added energy and laughter, while interactive segments like "Gift or Curse" keep the audience hooked. The seamless integration of personal anecdotes, pop culture critiques, and spontaneous comedy ensures that both long-time listeners and newcomers find the episode enjoyable and memorable.

Transcript

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is exactly right.

[Chris Fleming]

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[Annelise Nelson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Annelise Nelson]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[Chris Fleming]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy. Ooh yes, that's smart.

[Annelise Nelson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Annelise Nelson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Annelise Nelson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

When I invited you here.

[Chris Fleming]

Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guils.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your presence is present enough and I.

[Chris Fleming]

Already had too much stuff so how.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you dare disobey me? Hello, it's Bridger, host of the show. I just want to quickly invite and demand that you come join us on Patreon. We are having the time of our lives. Bonus episodes. Two bonus episodes a month. Photos, video, whatever I feel like posting. It's threatening to become my blog and I hope that doesn't feel like a threat. We're having a great time over there, experimenting with the show and having old friends on and it's a great way to support. I said no gifts and I think in the end the only thing any of us really wants is to support a podcast. I think I speak for everyone when I say that. So no excuses. Get over there. Patreon.com I saidnogifts come join us and have a wonderful time. And now let's get into this episode which is just oh, this is a quite a show. Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. Oh, here we are. It's the fifth anniversary episode. What does that mean for anyone? What does that mean for me? What does that mean for you? Well, that means for the last three days, I've been thinking about tunics. I've been thinking about what tunic I would wear, because we are. This is more of a video production, although, you know, you'll be listening to the audio. So if you're listening to the audio, you'll just have to picture me at my very best. I was just smoking. The smoke is now out. I don't condone smoking unless you're doing a podcast. But the last three days, I've just been thinking about which tunic I would wear. I ordered several online and they were all essentially long T shirts that barely covered my ass. They were not appropriate for YouTube or for audio, for that matter. So we just, you know, I defaulted to my classic Kiki Soleil. I've. I've re dyed it. You have to keep these things fresh or the audience freaks out. This is a. The third color the Kiki Soleil has been. I'm just going to take off my robe. So if you're just listening, listen for a soft fabric falling off of my body and then continue to imagine me at my best. Oh, there we go. Not quite as hot as I was gonna take a drink. Okay. I'm feeling so much better. It is the fifth anniversary episode. Anneliese demanded that they be here. So we're just looking for odd jobs for them to do around the house. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here thinking about the last five years. We launched in March of 2020, March 12th of 2020. And obviously it was the biggest buzz online that day. People couldn't stop talking about the podcast, which was very flattering. The world was going kind of bananas and I don't remember anything else happening in the last five years. But I think it goes without saying that I've had it harder than anyone else. So keep that in mind while we record and while you leave your reviews online or attack me or whatever. I don't know what you can even see as far as my body goes in this tunic. And that's fine. That's kind of the excitement of video and tunics. And it's a journey for all of us. My legs are deeply exposed. Is there anything else we need to talk about? Let's see the rest of my. I mean, let's just say, you know, I'm constantly talking about Found Coffee, my local coffee shop. And I'm always trying to give them free promotion. I tried to go there today. They were under renovation, but they'll be open Thursday, so I'll be back Thursday. I had to go to a different place for my coffee. I thought you should know. Oh. I mean, there's a chance that this piece of audio, you know, humanity's wiped out, the earth is destroyed, and there is a chance that this is the only thing that remains. And can you imagine? Can you imagine? Do you ever think about the end of the world? Okay, I think it's time to get into the podcast. You know, when you have a fifth anniversary. Oh, I'm all over the. I'm all over the sofa right now. It's a good, very good excuse to demand that favorites come back, that people that have busier lives than you make the time for the podcast. And so I thought, why not reach out to one of my all time favorites, One of everyone's all time favorites, Chris Fleming. Chris. Oh, my God. Oh. Welcome to. I said no gifts.

[Chris Fleming]

Thank you, Bridger. Do you want me to touch you or not?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can touch me in any way you want.

[Chris Fleming]

Andrew Lloyd Webber. I haven't been allowed access to Bridger. I've been waiting in the. Bridger's now operating out of what feels like a wellness center. It's a very new build, but for a new build, it still has a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pretty haunted vibe, but the air is dry.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no mildew.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're not feeling black mold?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, no, no. But I'm hearing breathing from offices that are what feel like half a mile away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Being piped in from probably Studio City.

[Chris Fleming]

It's probably. It feels like where you would have an after prom, you know, remember?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It does feel very after prom when.

[Chris Fleming]

You would get locked in, but here. Here actually feels like a pediatrician's office or like a children's dentist.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And just as many cameras, I assume.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah. And also while you were doing your intro, everyone's like stifling laugh. I'm like, is Bridger making people silent? Like, are you. Are they not people?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, you pull up and you just hear me screaming at people and then you come in and everyone's just quiet.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. It's almost like, you know, in the beginning of Mission Impossible, like, you know how they always do those little ruses to get confron out of someone. It's like, are we trying to knock it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're in a submarine right now.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah. It feels like A sting operation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, this is. We can talk about other things, but I just want to really quickly point out that I've recently learned that I can't pay attention to spy movies. I saw this movie, Black Bag. I had. Do you know what this is? The Cate Blanchett who. Now I'm forgetting the man. Other Guy.

[Chris Fleming]

That's very. That's very modern.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Forgetting Men.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. I forget the AV Club. Right. About a movie they're covering. And I forget. I forget the guy. It's Guy Pierce.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A culture review. That is very forgetful of me. But I saw this thing and it was so sexy and exciting. But I. When people start talking about spy logistics. Oh, I just have to trust the filmmaker.

[Chris Fleming]

I have to watch a spy. I luckily watch Mission Impossible just cause Tom. I almost called him Hanks. Cruise is like the choices he makes, you know, my team is dead. They're all dead.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a celebration.

[Chris Fleming]

I have to rew. I watch it for that. But I think it's taken me 150 times to finally get the general emotional arc. And I'm still not geopolitical.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's so difficult.

[Chris Fleming]

It's impossible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So when there's like a big twist at the end, I'm like, well, I probably would have felt this.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. You can hear in a movie theater people going, But I'm like, oh, well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess they laid the pieces down and I just wasn't really following them.

[Chris Fleming]

You know what I hate in spy movies? Comic relief.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it's a tough anybody being.

[Chris Fleming]

Get him out of there. Oh, whoops. Oh, okay. Oh, well, I've got plenty of time to do that then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He wouldn't make it through the background check. No, that person is not a serious person.

[Chris Fleming]

He's not a serious person. And this is very serious.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

You know, in your earpiece, you don't want to be hearing little, little witticisms, quips. Oh, yes. Oh, certainly. I've got the time for this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The only way you can do that is if you build in that his dad works at the agency. And then it's like, okay, we kind of get why Simon Pegg is getting a chance.

[Chris Fleming]

Simon Pegg? I've never said that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Simon Pegg. That's a great question.

[Chris Fleming]

It sounds like a bike shop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know Simon Pegg, but it sounds like. And then when I hear Simon Pegg, I think of Hot Chip. And I don't think he's a member of Hot Chip.

[Chris Fleming]

So he kind of is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He probably has.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm a member of Hot Chip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would Believe that you are. I was in the early tens.

[Chris Fleming]

You're in Phoenix. I'm in Hot Chip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, this is where I reveal I'm French and I'm married to Sophia Coppola.

[Chris Fleming]

What do you mean you revealed you were French? Through subliminally, I think, on March 12, 2020, through that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of winks and subliminal messaging.

[Chris Fleming]

Did you say that you dropped. So you were saying, first of all, the tunic. The tunic is remarkable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm so sorry.

[Chris Fleming]

Can we get it? Okay. I hope that's captured the upside as.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Much of we need a full upskirt.

[Chris Fleming]

I said no upskirt. With Bridget.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your co worker.

[Chris Fleming]

Is that my original gift?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, you were here. You were on the show August or maybe sometime in 2020, late 2020.

[Chris Fleming]

It was a haze.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is an absolute haze. But there is a clear. I have a very clear. This thing just keeps coming up. I mean, look, I'm glad I wore the underwear I'm wearing now.

[Chris Fleming]

The way I've accidentally exposed myself for like entire shows, like stage show, like there's nothing that you could do for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But the audience eats it up. They're begging for it.

[Chris Fleming]

Not the family.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not the family shows you. Not the birthday parties.

[Chris Fleming]

No, but I went to my niece's birthday party and she had a magician named awesome Rob and he fucking cried.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What did he do?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, he did everything. He did an hour.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He saw someone in half.

[Chris Fleming]

In a lit. No, it was for 3 year olds.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Saw a 3 year old in half.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, it was brutal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just screaming. The parents are concerned.

[Chris Fleming]

Truly. It was like a Baptist, like church, like, the reaction that the kids were.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Chris Fleming]

They were like. It was like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you feel fooled by any of.

[Chris Fleming]

The things I was doing? I was. I couldn't stop. And I don't typically do this. I don't do this with media. This has been a problem, people. I don't put myself into things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, sure.

[Chris Fleming]

But this, I was putting myself into this. I was trying to help. No, no, I was trying to picture if I was in the parking lot about to have. Because, you know, I. I dread doing shows. And I was imagining going into a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Living room to do as awesome Rob. Oh, can you imagine pulling up to the house and being like, should be at the Magic Castle.

[Chris Fleming]

You got this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You got this.

[Chris Fleming]

Like, it's the same for any show, you know?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Chris Fleming]

All right, buddy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Snorts a line up steering wheel.

[Chris Fleming]

I was trying to imagine if there were just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's awesome. Do you know how Fuck is this? Your sister's kid.

[Chris Fleming]

Sorry. Not a niece. It's a. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're just claiming nieces all over the world.

[Chris Fleming]

Any child's a niece. It's my cousin's, and my cousins are like sisters.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Which is a hard thing.

[Chris Fleming]

Cousins are like sisters to me. Cut.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Shut it all down. This is your last show.

[Chris Fleming]

Can I enter again? I'm sorry. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll light the cigarette back up.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my God. Your timer. I thought that was like, a bomb.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a bomb. When this gets to 17 minutes, we die. I can't go over 17.

[Chris Fleming]

I saw Matt. You had Matt. Did Matt. Matt. You guys were outside.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Matt Ingebretson was just on the Patreon show. This is actually a recent addition to the.

[Chris Fleming]

You hide him behind the paywall.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I hide him behind. You've got someone that tall. You've got to put behind someone with that posture. Yeah, of course. Oh, my God.

[Chris Fleming]

He's almost leaning. He's almost leaning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's getting backwards.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris, you gotta start doing Pilates.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

That's what he always does.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He does. He's always recommending. He's trying to coach everybody.

[Chris Fleming]

Cause you're gonna hurt yourself on stage if you don't start taking care of your body in your 40s.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He has advice for everybody. He's the best listener. This is Matt Ingebretson, who was the first guest on the show, by the way.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But he's constantly. I think as a straight tall man, you just have advice. You're overflowing with things to tell.

[Chris Fleming]

He's. But. But he's. He's. So, like, usually my guys are not helpful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, sure. But they're confident.

[Chris Fleming]

They're confident. Oh, yeah, no, right. It's usually like, dude, we should. We should move to Buffalo and be contractors. It's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This was awesome Rob in the bathroom of that birthday party. Chris, please.

[Chris Fleming]

Awesome Rob.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm in trouble.

[Chris Fleming]

I think his name is awesome Rob.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It better be. But he gave me this little framed photo of Steven Spielberg.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So that's very cute. I can put that on the.

[Chris Fleming]

That could be a ring.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There we go.

[Chris Fleming]

Could I wear this as a ring?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's not a bad idea.

[Chris Fleming]

No, it's too. Too big. That could be a pinky ring.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do we say brooch or brooch?

[Chris Fleming]

It's spelled brooch. We say brooch and we don't talk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's one of those words that I never say in. In good, cool company.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I'm like, I'm going to be exposed to someone who went to through Utah public education. So I save it for to try it out.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Somehow wires got crossed and the double O is a brooch. Is a o.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where does the brooch come? That must be German.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, oh yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those double o's could be Scandinavian. Oh, that's probably true. An open faced sandwich.

[Chris Fleming]

It's European. Yeah, it is a croque monsieur. It's an open casket Croque monsieur.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We had a wake.

[Chris Fleming]

Did you ever have a croque? There's a croque madame.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, I've had.

[Chris Fleming]

It's in a little skirt and got eyelashes and then a croque monsieur has a fucking gun. Gun and a goatee.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it left his family a long time ago.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not even talking to his parents.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think the croak madame has a like a fried egg on top. I think there's something. I mean there's some kind of weird.

[Chris Fleming]

Egg is a little. That's a little on the nose.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. There's like a weird sexuality something going on. They really thought about the sex of both of these sandwiches.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, totally. The French, they don't mind being. They're not. They're not gonna not be. Stop being gendered.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh of course they'll go all over it, you know. And then meanwhile the croque monsieur I think is just almost a French toast.

[Chris Fleming]

Ham sandwich that's addicted to online gaming.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That will not leave his ex girlfriend alone. He's harassing her.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah. Totally stalking while gaming.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I know the croque monsieur because I took in high school probably a total of eight different semesters of food class.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, I thought. Oh wow, that's a twist. I thought we were going to say French.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh no, no, no, no. Who do you think you're talking about?

[Chris Fleming]

No, I forget how much writing you've done.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you also forget I'm French. Why bother? No, I was learning to cook things in a microwave.

[Chris Fleming]

You had eight semesters of. Of food which was called foods. It's not home ec, it's foods.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, in middle school we started out started off with homec which was a subcategory of what was called tlc. Are you following? TLC was kind of life skills.

[Chris Fleming]

Tender love and care.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tender. I wonder what it was called. It's probably true Life consequences.

[Chris Fleming]

You would be trad spouses.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They kind of were. This is Utah, right?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I mean we like we were learning to sew, we were learning to cook.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We were learning to type. It was kind of like learning to work in Don Draper's office, essentially. But the home ecstasy.

[Chris Fleming]

I was a cross legged on the side of a death. That's one old semester.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just thinking when Don is gonna leave his wife. He keeps promising me.

[Chris Fleming]

Do you feel like you could watch Mad Men? I feel like you could watch Mad Men. It could freeze and you could still be watching it. You know, I feel like there's not much movement.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you think like. Like you could forget that it was.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, it could be loading and you could still be watching.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There are shows like that where it's.

[Chris Fleming]

You don't know. It's frozen for about 10 minutes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For a few minutes you want to be like, well, maybe this is a choice. And I don't want to embarrass myself and be the person who tried to fast forward through it.

[Chris Fleming]

Even if you're alone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, do you know what actually that happened was the Sopranos documentary. Did you see this thing? David Chase.

[Chris Fleming]

I still haven't seen the Sopranos. I'm saving that for when I'm on the lam or something. I'm saving a bunch of stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have an awesome Rob on a motel bed like Burton, Ernie Free. Hbo.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, hbo. You feel like hbo. I feel like HBO needs to. Obviously it's too dark. And then Netflix needs to dim their lights.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. Dim. They need to fully shut off.

[Chris Fleming]

Feels like I had to watch a show to get ready for something tonally. And it was like. It feels like last call at a bar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like a Tesla coming out at you with its light. Like you've got to turn off your brights.

[Chris Fleming]

Right. It's like when ET Ship lands.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's Close Encounters.

[Chris Fleming]

Jesus Christ. They're all translucent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, they really do have commercial lighting on Netflix.

[Chris Fleming]

That's what it is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I don't understand someone. They have a lot of employees. Somebody's got a maybe, you know, it's.

[Chris Fleming]

Do you think they're wearing sunglasses? And so they have to. Then they watch it after not wearing sunglasses. Like, oh, we should. How are we all wearing sunglasses?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the program won't let us edit. It's uploaded.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, there's something going on with Netflix. I feel like they still have a long way to go before they can be known as like something I can really respect. I can trust. Not even respect trust to babysit my kids.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, I mean, the stand up specials. Jesus Christ.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, we will just touch on this briefly because there is a standup special currently on Netflix, which is one of the most evil things I've ever seen an evil.

[Chris Fleming]

Politically.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Politically, okay.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't remember the guy's name. Everybody seems to know who this person is.

[Chris Fleming]

Is it that guy who is like your friend in middle school who is. You're like. You tolerate. And then afterwards you're like, I don't need to lie with this fucking guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's even worse than that.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay, okay. Like giving you, like, Charlie Horse. That's. That's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Then when. When you say that hurts, he says, I was kidding, dude.

[Chris Fleming]

I was fucking kidding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What does that mean? I think physical.

[Chris Fleming]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's one up from Shane Gillis.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, Y. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Shane Gillis has got the show about tires.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. And he at least goes, I'm kidding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. This kid is just there to hurt.

[Chris Fleming]

Who are we talking about?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I wish he has a podcast.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Andrew. Shane Gill. Wait, what's his name?

[Chris Fleming]

Andrew Schultz. The guy who plays arenas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The devil.

[Chris Fleming]

Truly horrific.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I could not believe that this was on a mainstream.

[Chris Fleming]

I mean, he's playing, like, airports. He's playing like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, he's playing the person sitting next to him at the airport.

[Chris Fleming]

I mean, like, the sheer size of like a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What do they call that hangar? Sorry, I was going to say an airplane warehouse.

[Chris Fleming]

Live at lax.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, that guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I. Yeah. And we should move on because I don't want to spend too much time talking about earth devils. We can get into Satan. But I was just like, Netflix is just. You know, and I thought we could trust corporations.

[Chris Fleming]

You know, it's that little guy, Robbie Prah. He's like three foot one. He's in charge of. He's in charge of the comedy specialist. Oh, and he's just under Joe Rogan's desk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's in the drawer of Joe Rogan's desk.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Next to a bottle of Advil with a.

[Chris Fleming]

With a briefcase of cash that Joe. That Joe then gives to the. Yeah. The inner soldier.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's ridiculous. I do think that they're like. They're one step above being a thing that you can just, like, actively upload whatever you want.

[Chris Fleming]

When you said upload earlier, you know, I have a fantasy about if we all could upload stuff to Netflix. Like, it's YouTube.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that'd be great.

[Chris Fleming]

How fun would that be?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I would love someone's upload.

[Chris Fleming]

Someone is uploading like we do. Like you could.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There is somebody in a building somewhere. 75% getting frustrated with the speed. Like, calling.

[Chris Fleming]

It'S like Moneyball is uploading. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You don't really think about the human element of that.

[Chris Fleming]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There is somebody that has to do that. Like, that's like one of us going on Vimeo or whatever. Or waiting for Instagram, the slow thing. And you better slow.

[Chris Fleming]

I've never uploaded to Vimeo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Instagram. I. They have. I think they have my number because it takes at least half an hour to upload anything over 45 seconds.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, I put it on. I put my phone on, like, my WI Fi thing, the modem, and I just leave the. But then if you close out of it, it's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait to hear a sizzle. Yeah. And if you close out of it, it's all bets are off.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. It's like an Aesop's fable. You have to keep staring it in the eye. Otherwise it's like, oh, looks like you don't want this enough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You have to learn a lesson.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they've also kind of shadow blocked my favorite influencer, despite me interacting with all of her content.

[Chris Fleming]

Bethany Franklin.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Her name's Turtle Creek Lane. She lives in Dallas.

[Chris Fleming]

Did she build this wellness institution?

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's sponsoring the podcast.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She said, just don't look at my content and you can have as much money as you want.

[Chris Fleming]

Turtle. Turtle Creek.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Turtle Creek Lane.

[Chris Fleming]

That's not an easy one to say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's not. It's the street she lives on in Dallas, and she has.

[Chris Fleming]

She's doxing herself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She. People know exactly where she lives.

[Chris Fleming]

People don't care about that anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no, no. If you try to hide it, they can find you. So if you're showing them, they're lining up outside. Of course, I've considered going there now. Turtle Quick Lane has recently. And this is. This is a hard thing to talk about. Her husband recently crashed in a helicopter.

[Chris Fleming]

Is he okay?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's okay. Thank God.

[Chris Fleming]

Wow. He made it out of that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But. So she is undergoing some things. He made it out almost perfectly. And the other person in the helicopter did pass away, so it's a tough situation. So she is going through something. But I will say she's my favorite influencer.

[Chris Fleming]

Total creeglane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pure, pure Mormon Mom. Joy.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's decorating the house. She's going crazy. And Steve, the husband's alive.

[Chris Fleming]

That's great. See, that's great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's great. That's all we can ask.

[Chris Fleming]

That's all we can ask for.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's all I've ever asked for.

[Chris Fleming]

Is she gonna do you Think eventually she's gonna. Her address will be her name. Like 25 Turtle Creek Lane with a zip code. The way that people, you know, people keep like either, like Augment. I guess that was kind of what P. Diddy would do, which we don't even know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no. It's hard. There are a lot of land and it's really hard to talk about anything in existence without being like, oh, well, we should be.

[Chris Fleming]

We should tiptoe around without saying. Saying a name. That would get a laugh automatically at the Comedy Store for reason.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've got a set tonight. If you just write down a list for me, I'll be at the 3am.

[Chris Fleming]

Slot at the Comedy Store. I have to follow Dom Herrera.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll be physically attacking a cope.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, no, they just put me on the bucking Bronco. That's the only way that I could get it up at the Comedy Store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's time for you to integrate that into something you do. You should tour with a bucking Bronco.

[Chris Fleming]

That would be so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you don't even use it. Maybe if you just feel like it.

[Chris Fleming]

On occasion, just have it set a tone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that feels like a nice, comfortable thing to have around.

[Chris Fleming]

A podcast hosted from a bucking bronco would be so good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unbelievable.

[Chris Fleming]

Everyone's just fucking concussing. No one could hear that by the end.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like people aren't even 45 minutes on a fucking Bronco.

[Chris Fleming]

You're all fucked up. Me. Two seconds with my spine. Like I'm. I'm toast. Of course your teeth are gone and suggestible. Yeah, my teeth are my bottom row is my top row. My legs are my feet. I'm fucked, man. I'm like a clay. I'm like Mr. Potato Head.

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[Bridger Weiniger]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Annelise Nelson]

Aren't we getting a min fridge?

[Chris Fleming]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy. Ooh, yes, that's smart.

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[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you been on a bucking bronco before?

[Chris Fleming]

No, they never let me. They're like, you wouldn't last a second on this. They're like your spirit. Your spirit was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We can feel your spirit. There's a glow around you. Yeah. Step away.

[Chris Fleming]

They're like, what you. My job is to. I'm face to face with the horses. That's my job in the West, I hope.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just like a comfort. Stern comfort.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's me. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Mind melding with the mayor? I'm just realizing we're kind of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We are kind of in a. We're bringing this back.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The V neck is on its way.

[Chris Fleming]

A green V. Oh, a green V. Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is unbelievable.

[Chris Fleming]

You know what? You know what I'm going for? What do you think I'm going for?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like you're going for. You're. Somebody's like, a friend is coming over to stay the night, and you're the dad. That's like reading a magazine. He's not watching tv, but he's reading a magazine. He's like, you kids be safe.

[Chris Fleming]

That is so good. That's so much better than what I'm going for. I'm going for Robin Wright, Penn. And I think that's in a Bottle. It's a movie I watched on a bus next to a woman who. I started crying. And she goes, it's okay, baby. Me too. But it's Robin Wright Penn, like, doing, like, basic woodworking.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Basic woodwork. She's a woodworker.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. She's like, massaging a table.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's a masseuse.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. It's like. It's like I want. I want the vibe when I'm. When I'm in my non stage clothes, like, you come see me at the shop and I'm like, I'm. I'm looking like I'm. Is that IO.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's IO, yes. Well, that's a really. This is her as a child. So for you to recognize her is amazing. And it's a bad painting.

[Chris Fleming]

Did she give it to you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my God. So you. Wow. Is it crazy to see, like, people pop?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, it really is because she was on in 21, I would say.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, and you had Tim Allen.

[Chris Fleming]

On right before Home Improvement too. You had Tim Allen on, I think in 89.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. I begged Tim to come on. He was on the rise. I knew there was something percolating there. And I said, tim, there's something relatable. He was saying. He was speaking for guys.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I said, we need more voices like this.

[Chris Fleming]

He was fed up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I said, we need to put you opposite Patricia Richardson and show the world who's the better sex.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on.

[Chris Fleming]

And we'll give you jtt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where's jtt? Where's the whole crew?

[Chris Fleming]

Jtt? He's probably being kept somewhere. He's. He's back from at uta. Yeah. They have. They have him in a greenhouse at uta, just like in a utopia. He thinks he's in space, but he's just in the greenhouse at uta, eating. Eating persimmons. Wow. There's life out there. No, you're at uta.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Persimmon is the exact fruit that JTT would eat. Absolutely.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's like a softness.

[Chris Fleming]

Still got the mushroom cut. One strand a day falls out of his mushroom cut. I had exactly that haircut.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're kidding.

[Chris Fleming]

I had a mushroom. My mom insisted I get a mushroom cut.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Chris Fleming]

I mean. And when I say insisted, it was like, I trusted. I've always trusted her judgment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure, sure.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. You got the vision. Let's fucking do this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When someone tells you what type of haircut to have, you probably should think about it.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because no one ever does that.

[Chris Fleming]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No one ever says, this is how your hair should be.

[Chris Fleming]

No. You got to figure every. Every. I'm so tired of the free will and get. Figuring everything out for myself. I love when someone's like, hey, do this. I'm like, oh, thank God. Especially when it's like an adult.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, mom saying, this is the hair you need.

[Chris Fleming]

Sound like a peer. Hey, dude, you should get a. You should get a soul patch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your mom's been calling about that.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah. How long did you get Christian Rocker?

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you had a soul patch, it would just be an immediate change of look for you too. Christian Rocker.

[Chris Fleming]

It would be. Yeah. I would have to really start. I would have to start from zero.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Absolute. Just. We've raised the building.

[Chris Fleming]

Not that I have credit. I would lose anything that I've worked to build. It would be. It would be completely for not. It would be like moving. It'd be like when you move to la.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. It's like, this is the new thing. You're out of friends.

[Chris Fleming]

Comedy scene.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now you're gotta impress people.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Maybe I'll try the bus system. That kind.

[Chris Fleming]

Right. You end up in Santa Monica.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You never. People that are not from LA don't realize that's another country. Like, getting to Santa Monica, you. Yeah, I would rather go travel to Tokyo. It's like, way less painful.

[Chris Fleming]

It's easier.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Way easier. Are you kidding me?

[Chris Fleming]

No. You're so right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. It's agony. And then you get there, you're like, t shirts.

[Chris Fleming]

I guess this is where they make the Minions. I had a general with the people that made the Minions there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You did. There used to be a lot of general meetings that happened over there. There was a lot of driving to.

[Chris Fleming]

They're like, why are you here? I'm like, I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Every person you came in contact with was asking that question.

[Chris Fleming]

Hey, the guy even here. The guy came to the door. He's like, what's your name? He didn't want me, let me in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He does the deadbolt before asking the question.

[Chris Fleming]

Because the windows are black out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They are smoky.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Smoky windows.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like a Hummer limo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I said, I will not record in the studio until the windows are smoked. Like my car.

[Chris Fleming]

Knight's house. Yeah. Damn. Bridger's really keeping it tight in here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you did bring this. I saw you in 2020. You came to my house. I have a real strong memory of that. There were like. Because you rarely saw people. So I remember you showing up at my door. Sleeveless mask, which is an interesting look.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Arms exposed, fully exposed, respiratory not exposed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was a different. Very different time. Everything's okay now.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, things are good. Things worked out good. This is Annalise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is Anneliese. Right.

[Chris Fleming]

Hi, Annalise. Oh, Annalise is allowed to. Okay. Hi. Hi.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They have an allowance, so there's a little timer back there that says this is how long you can speak for. So Annelise is sweating before the E caller.

[Chris Fleming]

I have 230 characters left, so. Okay. Oh, it's by characters.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Same rules as Twitter.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

X. It's called X. Take it seriously.

[Chris Fleming]

I was gonna say Bridger. Could we please call it X?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's Christian name.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Actually, no. It's Christian name is Twitter. I suppose.

[Chris Fleming]

Do we spell it Ex. It's Christian name is Twitter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And its X name is. It's Confirmation Smith name.

[Chris Fleming]

It's. That's. That's the final sex stage of the cross. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. He became very religious in a religion that the family was not comfortable with.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's nothing we could do. The more we push, the more he backed away.

[Chris Fleming]

The Ottoman, whatever religion.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Ottomans took all of those empires.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then became a piece of furniture.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

Is that related? Ottomans and Ottomans.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It must be. Right.

[Chris Fleming]

That's what. That's their.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would love for it to be a coincidence, but.

[Chris Fleming]

There are no coincidences.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There are. Choice is an illusion. Everyone has a mushroom cut. An ottoman is a coincidence.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But. Yeah. You brought this beautiful masquerade mask.

[Chris Fleming]

In a plastic bag. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In a plastic bag.

[Chris Fleming]

It's really nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's gorgeous.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, God. It's really.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, it's become. It's right next to. By the way, an Aztec death whistle. This was given to me by Drew Droghi. Do you want me to blow it?

[Chris Fleming]

Yep.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's an unpleasant noise. Everyone plug your ears.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Isn't that unpleasant?

[Chris Fleming]

I hear that. I hear. That's a sound you hear at night.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You don't wake up to that. This is the opposite of a rooster.

[Chris Fleming]

If you live near the woods or the hills of any kind, a tree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Screaming, you get very.

[Chris Fleming]

That's the noise that you hear. And you don't even ask what it is?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

[Chris Fleming]

When animals can sound like people screaming.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tasmanian devil.

[Chris Fleming]

Do they make that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've been watching alone. Australia, Tasmanian devils, all. Well, they're a rare.

[Chris Fleming]

Are you talking about the lunatic? He got a role in the loot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He popularized the breed.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're going extinct.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Meanwhile, they kind of look like dachshunds.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like if a dachshund if you cross bred a dachshund and a bear, they're. They're quite long.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're stretch jaws that can crush steel.

[Chris Fleming]

Moustelids.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's a moose?

[Chris Fleming]

A mustelid is like a. I think a dachshund should be called a mustelid. It's like a weasel or a stoat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that like the umbrella that a weasel's under?

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like if you were to Braveheart torture any kind of critter, they become a mustelid. And so I. I made a push during pandemic to get dachshunds included into the mustelid family. Didn't. Didn't really take off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's fair. That's really fair.

[Chris Fleming]

Actually, people just thought I was kidding around. You can't. You can't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, no one takes. You can't show your side.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Every day. Oh. Oh, he's doing all of his bits. Too late for bit. I'm too tired to be doing a bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. I can't do bits anymore. Are you kidding me?

[Chris Fleming]

Make a dachshund a moostelith. I'm done. I'm going to bed. Tell me when it's a mustelid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I barely have the energy to be honest. I grew up near a mink farm. Can you imagine anything more mortifying where.

[Chris Fleming]

They would kill the minks?

[Bridger Weiniger]

They would kill the minks. Our church was right next to the mink farm. And I'm sorry to tell everyone this. I'm sorry to reveal this. This five years into the podcast.

[Chris Fleming]

And tell me, Bridger, do you still hear the screaming of the minks every morning?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I. It was. You would go to church and you would smell the mink, Right? I don't know if it was the mink, you know, runoff.

[Chris Fleming]

I've smelled. I live by a pig farm. And you would smell the fear. It's horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Awful. Absolutely terrible.

[Chris Fleming]

Horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then the mink farmer taught at my high school. What do you teach in Utah? There's something called seminary. It's part of the TLC program.

[Chris Fleming]

Tender Loving Cruelty.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, he taught something called seminary, which is a very odd phenomenon in Utah, which is you take an hour out of your day at the public school to go, there's a building in the parking lot of the high school where you go and learn about Mormonism.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, that's so weird. We had a Christian group called Young Life that would recruit in our high school.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Young Life.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. They would play like, you know, free. It would be like they Would take the kids to, like, Jet Ski and stuff. And then at the end, like, a lot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's how they would get me.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, put me on a Jet Ski.

[Chris Fleming]

And they got hot kids.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Chris Fleming]

They're the hottest of us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Christians are usually hot when they're young. And then you kind of grow into the devil.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Earth Devil.

[Chris Fleming]

Did you make up that term, Earth Devil?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

That's so funny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's why I get to do this gorgeous podcast. Because of Earth Devil.

[Chris Fleming]

Earth Devil. You should change your handle to Earth Devil. Aspiring Earth devil.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've talked about Tasmanian devils, Earth devils, regular devils.

[Chris Fleming]

I did a podcast with a guy who's very famous for podcasting. He's done it for so long. And once we stopped the podcast, we were still talking, and we were by the mics. Just reflexively. He kept being on mic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Then you see it's attached to his left, and it follows him everywhere he goes.

[Chris Fleming]

It's such a haunting thing. It's like something out of a Twilight Zone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is wild.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like the final. It's like the reveal. It's like kind of a lame reveal in a Twilight film.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ezra Klein can't get away from the microphone.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like a carrot. It's like the dangling everywhere it goes. But wait, so the seminary would be in the parking lot?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, but it's a building. I wish it was just kind of a tailgating thing.

[Chris Fleming]

That's what I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We got brats. We got Doritos. Everybody get a lawn chair out of a Pontiac.

[Chris Fleming]

Out of an Aztec steel Pontiac. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay, so you would. Did they ever get you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, they had me. And I think this was kind of.

[Chris Fleming]

You got got.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This was kind of the end. This was kind of like, oh, what are we doing? Why am I spending an hour of. I. I could be learning. I could be in foods right now. Foods. And meanwhile, I'm doing this, and then I'm starting to leave school during that hour to shoplift. It was a whole. So they were kind of, like, getting the worst version of me by giving me that hour, whatever I wanted. Utah has a chain of thrift stores called Deseret Industries, and they also, weirdly, have one in LA now. It was a shock.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because the mortals.

[Chris Fleming]

Sticky little finger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I've been tempted. If something catches my eye. Yeah, I'll take it. I will say thrift stores have gotten. Thrift stores have gotten rid of dressing rooms. So I kind of think, you know, changing the sidewalk. I'm gonna take this outside to Change. I'll be right back. I think you should just be able to take whatever you want.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. At a thrift store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. If you're not gonna let me try it on in store, forget it. I'm not paying for this thing. They don't have a return policy. How do I get my $3?

[Chris Fleming]

How can you know? No, I know. No, I know. Although that's. That means that, you know that you are trying something. You're getting something that no one. Well, they wore it before, but people haven't gone on and tried in the store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Chris Fleming]

So it's been some time since people's Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nobody knows what's happening in there. Some sort of weasel in it. But I would go there and just take whatever I wanted and usually would put. Go into the dressing room, put on a shirt that I liked, then put on my normal shirt, walk out all puffy, put on a winter coat, and then pull a T shirt over it.

[Chris Fleming]

It's one of those things where. Yeah. You keep adding layers and layers until you get cut.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

And then. Then you have your reckoning, and then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You say, no, I'm pregnant. It's really rude that you would ask.

[Chris Fleming]

It's a. It's a full.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The baby is crawling up.

[Chris Fleming]

It's a full top pregnancy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's headed to the back.

[Chris Fleming]

It's in my arms. It's in my neck. The baby has crossed the blood brain barrier. The baby's in my head.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Call the shot. Call the shot.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. He's driving. You like the Men in Black alien. I'll never forget that shit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Remember what happens in Men in Black?

[Chris Fleming]

So a guy dies, and then they open the back of his head and there's like a little guy. He's like, oh, you don't remember? He's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's like, the alien is also dying.

[Chris Fleming]

The aliens may be yay big. He's been piloting the guy the whole time. It's like, right when you think, like, you know how they're gonna reveal the aliens.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, right.

[Chris Fleming]

You're like, I don't know that this guy could be driving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the alien just dies of natural causes.

[Chris Fleming]

He tries to tell them something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, but he has old age.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. He gives them a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's in hospice. In this person's head, he's a rocking chair. If only they had no blood out.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anyway, well, look, I feel like you keep trying to get away from this gift and, well, you know, I'm modest. The podcast is called I said no gifts.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I Was a little, you know, I was looking forward to having you here. I begged you to come on. You received so many phone calls that you blocked me.

[Chris Fleming]

You were being walked up to my door with a muzzle and a leather leash.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Eventually, you got a call from your mom, and then it was me, Chris, I got you.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you be on. I said no gifts.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I was a little surprised. I feel like you're a professional at this point.

[Chris Fleming]

At this point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At this point, you know, when I met you, I mean.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, it was beyond.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Beyond the gutter.

[Chris Fleming]

It was amateur minute.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was embarrassing to be even around you. To know your name was embarrassing.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. I wouldn't even look you in the eye out of respect for you and your family.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I was a little surprised when you show up to my fifth anniversary, which is supposed to be a big day for me.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know if anybody else cares. At least they do.

[Chris Fleming]

There's people protesting outside.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They took some time off from Planned Parenthood to come here.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. They flipped my car. It's burning. It's not even the Planned Parenthood protestors. It's Planned Parenthood. It's the employees of Parenthood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just come here.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what you did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something strange and bad I've done.

[Chris Fleming]

You said something about that dental dams don't exist, I think is what you said. You said, show me proof. I've heard about them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've all heard the phrase we never seen them. Something's up. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

[Chris Fleming]

Fuck you, Bridger. Fuck you, Bridger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dental dams have been the tent pole of this podcast.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now you've ripped it down, but you arrived with a gift.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, actually, I have a couple gifts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Oh, my God. And so now you're just owning it twice as much.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, in this gorgeous mustard bag.

[Chris Fleming]

Thank you. Do you want to open the bag? I shouldn't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, if you insist.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay. There's. So There's. There's compartments.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This looks like a refrigerated bag with an organ in it.

[Chris Fleming]

You have to travel over the ocean.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Someone's waiting for that heart. And it's on this podcast right now.

[Chris Fleming]

Did you like when Nosferatu had to get. When he traveled and he had to go under the ship? He couldn't transport. He had to take a ship and he's, like, waiting on it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, he had to, like, get it. He kind of had to be a stowaway.

[Chris Fleming]

He was. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like Chippendale's Rescue Rangers. Or something like hiding in a matchbox.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right. That's right. With his rats just kind of. He's like, this is a guy who can show up anywhere. And why is he taking a boat?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's like, he had a lot going on.

[Chris Fleming]

He had so much going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was he doing before all of this in that castle? Obviously staying busy.

[Chris Fleming]

That's so true.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He had this whole thing, but it's like until up until now he had.

[Chris Fleming]

The driverless horses carriage.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh yeah. Maybe he was doing a horse simulator.

[Chris Fleming]

There's like a waymo for with horses. Okay, so this is the first.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Should I reach in here?

[Chris Fleming]

Reach in here. There's three of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Three. Okay.

[Chris Fleming]

Yep.

[Annelise Nelson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Annelise Nelson]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[Chris Fleming]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy. Ooh, yes, that's smart.

[Annelise Nelson]

Glad we can agree on something easily. Pool split and Send money with PayPal. Get started. In the PayPal app. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money. A balance account is required to create a pool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get this.

[Annelise Nelson]

Adults with financial literacy skills have 82%.

[Bridger Weiniger]

More wealth than those who don't.

[Chris Fleming]

From swimming lessons to piano classes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Us parents invest in so many things.

[Chris Fleming]

To enrich our kids lives.

[Annelise Nelson]

But are we investing in their future financial success? With greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Investing and this investment costs less than that.

[Annelise Nelson]

After school treat start prioritizing their financial.

[Chris Fleming]

Education and future today with a risk free [e-mail] iheartra greenlight.com iheart I saw.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something round and brown. Oh wait, wait. These aren't persimmons, are they?

[Chris Fleming]

They're passion fruit. They're passion fruit from my own garden.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never seen a passion fruit. I've only ever seen it on the side of natural drinks.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes. Slight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Mutilated.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. You grow these in your garden? Or someone threw them back there.

[Chris Fleming]

It's originally from Home Depot. The bush.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The bush.

[Chris Fleming]

And it took over. It's called the Frederick passion fruit bush. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How have you been growing it?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, at least two years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Two years and it's already fruiting.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh. Oh. It fruits like several times a year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Chris Fleming]

And those are going to be good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Was it going to difficult?

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, no, no. You just water and then it's like it invades the whole yard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's almost a weed.

[Chris Fleming]

It took over the neighbors and the other neighbors.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like they don't live there anymore.

[Chris Fleming]

They're like, can. Could you do something about this? It's like it's in the house.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So do they. I don't even know what a passion fruit tree looks like. Is it bushy?

[Chris Fleming]

It's just a bush. It's like a vine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. And then almost a grape type type.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Situation.

[Chris Fleming]

Exactly. But with these.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How do you. Can I just bite into it?

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Would that kill me?

[Chris Fleming]

It was. It's like arson.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What is the. Is it coffee beans or something that if you like, there's some way of turning it into potatoes.

[Chris Fleming]

If you juice a potato, it could take out armies a full. Yeah, the navy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So how do I. I have to slice this.

[Chris Fleming]

You can't have it yet. You. You're going to want to wait a couple days anyway. Oh, it's already tangy. To be great. And then. Yeah, in a couple days you cut it and then you eat the seeds and it's kind of goopy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It remains. I hate to say goopy, but it remains tangy.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, the tang remains.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't do a sweet goop.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's gagging.

[Chris Fleming]

It's got a punish, punishing tang. And now here's my second gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I put these here in the ashtray.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I thought the string on my. This glove was a bug. I thought a bug was following my. My glove across the table.

[Chris Fleming]

Your storied gloves. This is very Blanche dubois.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's very, you know, Scotty's under the bed.

[Chris Fleming]

You can't see me in this. In this lighting. Okay. Now, I think you're gonna like this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Pulled it.

[Chris Fleming]

I think this is your size.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not even sure what to pull out.

[Chris Fleming]

It's too small for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. This.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you could pull anything this color.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is gorgeous. This is a piece of Western wear.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. I think you could look a little like a little Howdy Doody in this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it smells so good.

[Chris Fleming]

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've worn it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that your smell?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Well, let me see. No, I don't know what that is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it smells good.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not incorrect here.

[Chris Fleming]

It might be my. My pheromones.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You could bottle that up and sell it at Nordstrom. This is a beautiful piece of Western wear in kind of a.

[Chris Fleming]

It's a little wrinkle. I'm sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

An orangey mustardy.

[Chris Fleming]

I hate to give you something so Western mask when you're in something. A tunic. So gorgeous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm trying to get back in the closet. This is step one. I'm looking for a wife.

[Chris Fleming]

You're gonna get a wife in this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is my eharmony profile.

[Chris Fleming]

You could.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This and nothing else.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Christian mingle. That is that. I think. I think that buttoned down a little bit on you. Snap buttons. I think it could be really cool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Should I try it on right now?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you don't have to, but I would like it if you did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The way I'm exposing myself, the things the audience is seeing.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, I hope you zoom in on that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The audience.

[Chris Fleming]

You don't have Last edit. You don't have last looks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't. That's the one thing I gave up in my contract.

[Chris Fleming]

They get to degrade you in any way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The shots of my knees.

[Chris Fleming]

This is a different human being.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How are we feeling about me? Are you taking. Giving me more respect now?

[Chris Fleming]

You're intimidating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Respect.

[Chris Fleming]

I wasn't expecting you to be intimidating. I was expecting this is someone who.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Would cut their passion fruit rather than try to bite into it. Now I'm wearing a mini skirt.

[Chris Fleming]

You. You look like a TV star from the. From, like the 50s.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, see, this is a. I've thought someone asked me a while ago about, like, if you were, like, really trying to chase a look.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What would it be?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I said, I think. I think I there said, like, zookeeper or, you know, 50s cowboy. That's what I'm saying, TV cowboy. Not someone who can actually rope a. Of course.

[Chris Fleming]

A steer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A steer. I was gonna say deer, and I. I knew you don't rope a deer.

[Chris Fleming]

You look like you got kicked off the Waltons for getting into, like, a physical dispute with John Boy. Yeah, you beat the shit out of. You threw John Boy over a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's almost dead. You could have killed that boy.

[Chris Fleming]

What the fuck?

[Bridger Weiniger]

The last episode of the Waltons is me nearly killing John Boy.

[Chris Fleming]

You taking him just bashing his plague. Jesus Christ, the Waltons. Good night, John Boy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The writers really soured on John Boy.

[Chris Fleming]

And the other 12 siblings are just frozen in horror as they zoom out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of the house as this brand new character arrives to kill their brother.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, you reek of whiskey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The viewer can smell me.

[Chris Fleming]

Stay down, John Boy. Like, he's unconscious. Stay down.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As I helicopter away.

[Chris Fleming]

You went backwards on a. On a cow. Out of there, Fac. Facing the back, down the stairs, Zoro style. Down the stairs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

House is just shaking.

[Chris Fleming]

And I always say, do not bring. When. Do not. This is. This is the downfall of every wealthy family. Bringing the. Bringing the horse inside.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It really is.

[Chris Fleming]

You can't. Do not bring the horse inside the floor. It's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not buil that hubris. That's the final, you know, stroke of like, oh, we went too far.

[Chris Fleming]

We brought the horse in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We got too bored with our money, and we thought, let's try the horse inside. Let's bring it in to watch tv.

[Chris Fleming]

He flipped out. He slid on the hardwood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dad was thrown.

[Chris Fleming]

Dad got kicked. The girls. We don't know where the girls are. The girls.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The girls left the moment they heard the horse coming in.

[Chris Fleming]

Obviously twins. I'm assuming when I say the girls, you know. You know what I'm talking about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's always twins. Yeah, it's always twins.

[Chris Fleming]

She's out of her fucking mind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where did you get this shirt?

[Chris Fleming]

Costume designer, who I love, Lauren Opelt, gave it to me. And in my spryer trimmer days, I fit into it gorgeously. And then as I. As time has been singing her cruel song to me and my body, I thought, this will fit well on Bridger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It fits perfectly.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, it's exactly the thing that I would love to be able to sport. And so since I cannot, there's very few people who are trimmer than I that I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You try to keep them out of your life.

[Chris Fleming]

I block them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't show me those people.

[Chris Fleming]

Let me rephrase that. There are a lot of people Trimmer than I. I just mean there are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not a lot of people of our.

[Chris Fleming]

Age that I know who are trimmer. Trimmer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And this to me, because I feel like you do have a very distinct style.

[Chris Fleming]

I appreciate you saying that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People appreciate. And it just feels so nat. It feels like you were born into it.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And this shirt, fortunately, feels like something I could still wear without people being like, he's trying to bite Chris's style.

[Chris Fleming]

Exactly. Because this, for me is also. It's not quite in my.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a little more neutral.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a night out on the.

[Chris Fleming]

In Phoenix.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Night out in Phoenix. This is business trip.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Away from the wife and kids in.

[Chris Fleming]

One of those black caps. You know that. You know those things that people try to wear to not be noticed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. Like the baseball cap where it's like.

[Chris Fleming]

Now I want is. You know what I'm talking about?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Damon did a whole movie based around a hat like that.

[Chris Fleming]

Exactly. And they all wear it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they're all wearing kind of the.

[Chris Fleming]

And everyone's like, who's under that? Because only celebrities wear it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. No normal person buys that hat.

[Chris Fleming]

You can't even get it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Every normal person wants a kind of fun hat.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, no, exactly. You wear it higher, but when they wear it, you're like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they pull it down. It's a way to get it. They are begging for it.

[Chris Fleming]

Oscar Isaac. And it is 9 out of 10 times as fucking Isaac.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is one of my rare celebrity sightings in la. I saw Oscar Isaac in a corner table. And, you know, I thought, Little Caesars.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Complaining.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interviewing for a job, asking for a free.

[Chris Fleming]

Hey, hey, man, I hate to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I come here all the time and it's usually pretty good.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. But this. If I could just get a little money back on this and maybe some free sticks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dude, I don't want to get anyone in trouble.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. It's just. I know Little Caesar's better than this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's brought back only the box. He ate the whole pizza. And the crazy bread.

[Chris Fleming]

Crazy bread?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you ever had crazy bread?

[Chris Fleming]

That's a Little Caesar's thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It used to be.

[Chris Fleming]

I've never been to a Little Caesars. Where are they?

[Bridger Weiniger]

They appear when you least expect. It's like in middle of a wintry.

[Chris Fleming]

Night, you see a cabin with the smoke coming. That's Little Caesar's. I imagine Little Caesar's. Remember in Babylon, Remember when they wait two and a half hours to introduce Tobey Maguire?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, of course. They wait two hours to reveal everything in that moment.

[Chris Fleming]

And then they end on a Jurassic park montage.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was on my feet for that Avatar. There's an Avatar moment.

[Chris Fleming]

When they show those movies. I was like, you have. The way that you have shot yourselves. And I hate to say this. In the penis. Damien Chazelle shot himself in the penis and loved every. Not the dick, the penis. When he got to Avatar, Jurassic park, and, like, Wallace and Gromit, it's like, why did. Why did Margot Robbie do this? Have Kaylee Cuoco do it then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

None of them knew that was coming.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no. Obviously, that's like a little clock that's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not in the script. And then we show a clip of Avatar.

[Chris Fleming]

Like a long clip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

I think it's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like when I go home and I'll go see a movie with my family, we'll go to, like, a local theater.

[Chris Fleming]

Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Every time they'll show, like, a Wedding Crashers. We see Wedding Crashers is family tradition.

[Chris Fleming]

A new release in the small town. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have to see it in 4K.

[Chris Fleming]

You got to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But the local theater will have, like, a clip package before that was clearly edited by someone's nephew or whatever of, like, famous things from movies. That's literally what's to the end of Babylon, right?

[Chris Fleming]

Exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like this is. Should be the intro to another thing at a bad movie theater.

[Chris Fleming]

That's exactly what it is. Or maybe at the end of the Golden Globes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, sure.

[Chris Fleming]

Thank you for.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let everyone stop paying attention forever. It's very much. Have you been to the AMC Burbank?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's, like, on the floor. They have quotes from movies, and there are things like ET Phone home When Harry Met Sally.

[Chris Fleming]

I'll have what she's had. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like the most obvious thing. It's that turned into film.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. They should do really obscure, like, prepositional phrases.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Things that kind of can't connect to anything.

[Chris Fleming]

Get out of there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no way you can.

[Chris Fleming]

It's untraceable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Trying to sam a floor.

[Chris Fleming]

Do you feel like nowadays, like, even background casting needs to do come in for chemistry reads and stuff?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. There's a. I can't remember. I was watching a show, one of our premium dramas, and there was a background actor that. I mean, God bless these people.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no. Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This woman was there.

[Chris Fleming]

You better get your number, by the way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, they will.

[Chris Fleming]

And they're going to have some ideas as you're in your car. Are you. Are you on Facebook?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ah, there. There are five different Chris Flemings. Which one is you?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, I think I found you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll add them all.

[Chris Fleming]

Why don't you just give me your phone, okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To get a text that says, why didn't you just give Me your phone?

[Chris Fleming]

1. One guy, we did a show, he handed me like a wet napkin with his number on it. Here's my number. Do not call me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pulls that out of his cleavage, sopping wet.

[Chris Fleming]

Sops himself up. Don't call me. Do not use this. You're watching a prestige drama, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, and now, I mean, when we say background actor, now I have to really. There's a. Okay. So I saw this woman really giving it up, giving it her all. It's like, well, now looking too camera. That's all I'm looking at.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But. But did you see the Netflix documentary about the Mormon woman who was kidnapped, like, her family?

[Chris Fleming]

Gabby Petito. I watched that one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that's Van Life. This was in the 70s. It was called, like, Hiding in Plain sight or something.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This woman was kidnapped in the 70s, over and over by these people's neighbors. It's the most insane story you could possibly imagine.

[Chris Fleming]

She was repeat kidnapped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, you watch the documentary, you're like, what could possibly be happening in.

[Chris Fleming]

This case by the same people that kept getting away with it? So they find her and they're like. And then they go, whoop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sort of. Yeah. And like the guy kind of like. I mean, it's, of course, like every one of these documentaries gets very dark and they're somehow.

[Chris Fleming]

That doesn't sound dark to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not like a happy ending kidnapping.

[Chris Fleming]

That's a jaunt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's aliens involved. Like, oh, it's very odd. But this.

[Chris Fleming]

The way. The way you say that, it sounds like, like the. Not like they believe in aliens, but it's like aliens are like they're there, they're on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They interview them.

[Chris Fleming]

The way. That's how you made it sound.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's how aliens reveal themselves in a poorly watched Netflix doc.

[Chris Fleming]

Just steam. I have a theory that aliens, they're just going to be steam.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a. I think because they're not bodied. Otherwise we're going to be disappointed.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If they're. If they have to appear essentially in spirit form or.

[Chris Fleming]

A cube.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A cube. Something that can't move without help.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like a blow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A fan.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, it's like you can't have legs.

[Chris Fleming]

Or they could be all around us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, now that would be a feeling.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would be A feeling.

[Chris Fleming]

That would be a feeling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My fear is when aliens come, we're just gonna get bored, you know?

[Chris Fleming]

You know, this is exactly what I've thought.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Really?

[Chris Fleming]

I've had this distinct thought that will be. Because it's the same way we deal with anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like they're gonna want to see all of our movies. They're gonna be like, dude, dude, I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Was talking about this yesterday.

[Chris Fleming]

Have you seen Breaking Bad, dude? Yes. Yes, I have. Like, we're all going to have, like, a group of aliens that are like, dude, this is the funniest movie. You got to watch this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've been here the whole time. We don't care. Yeah, yeah. I feel like we'll get bored. And speaking of movies, I feel like they're going to see our depictions of aliens, and it's going to be absolutely humiliating.

[Chris Fleming]

That's when they're going to be like, you motherfucker. It's gonna be like happy face reading misery and being like. When it gets to that point, you. You think we're. You think we look like. You don't think we have noses?

[Bridger Weiniger]

How dare you. Do you feel like there's any chance of aliens having been here?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You think so?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, totally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You genuinely believe that?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, yeah. I'm all about aliens, ghosts, all of it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that there's a small chance they're on their way.

[Chris Fleming]

Certainly you don't think the being here is so scary. If they've been here and they dipped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Out and not saying anything, it's rude.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like swimming in a lake. I would rather get bit than be. I think of the things. I expect we've talked about this, I'm sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If we have, I'm happy to talk about lakes.

[Chris Fleming]

I would rather be interacted with by a predator than have a. All the times. I think when you go to hell, they'd give you a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet of all the predators that saw you in the lake that didn't bite you. Oh, hey, just so you know, that snapping turtle that could have gotten you, he perceived you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You do think about that. What's beneath you in the lake all the time. Come to the surface and show me.

[Chris Fleming]

That's much better.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Way less scary. Lake monsters.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Snakes, large fish. Even stepping on something in a body of water that's not. Not dirt or sand is mortifying.

[Chris Fleming]

Right. Because what's beneath.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. What have I just upset? What have I just awoken?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you have local lake monsters? I Feel like in Massachusetts, they probably do have lake monsters.

[Chris Fleming]

I think I tried to get some of that started.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on, everybody.

[Chris Fleming]

Hey, did you guys see that? Looked kind of like a Honda Civic, but it had eyes. And I definitely tried to start a rumor that there was something behind the water tower.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I like that.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. I was like, you guys see that? But no, there was no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No lake monsters. You were robbed.

[Chris Fleming]

Our corner of the world is too fearful of God. To wrapped up with that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure, you've got the Puritan. Puritans weren't thinking about lake monsters.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They didn't have the monster.

[Chris Fleming]

They're just thinking of burning in the afterlife.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Lake monster's too fun. Too fussy.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my God. The Lockers monster. Having that big badonkadonk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Looking back at that biggest ass in Scotland.

[Chris Fleming]

Biggest ass in Scotland. All haggis outfield looking back, going, damn. Swimming around the lake. Look at me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love the Loch Ness Monster. We had the. We had the bear lake monster.

[Chris Fleming]

Bear lake monster.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's kind of. I think that straddles Utah and Idaho.

[Chris Fleming]

Who was the bear lake monster?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No one will ever know. No. Too shy.

[Chris Fleming]

They're all shy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're so shy. Cripplingly shy.

[Chris Fleming]

If they weren't shy, then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, we'd be bored with them.

[Chris Fleming]

Exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People can't get bored with shy people.

[Chris Fleming]

That's a really good. I feel like celebrities should look to these cryptids to know when to go away, you know, because you gotta. You gotta pop up. You can't go on. You can't be on subway. Takes every. You know. No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you can't be wearing the hat.

[Chris Fleming]

You can't. You can't be. Yeah. Go like, you know, do tar and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Then vanish for a while.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let us miss you.

[Chris Fleming]

Let us miss you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let us wonder about your health.

[Chris Fleming]

And then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's. I think that's like the best thing a celebrity can do. People concerned about there's a mysterious illness and then you resurface. And even if your next thing isn't that great, people are thrilled to have you back.

[Chris Fleming]

Do a play.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do a play.

[Chris Fleming]

Or you know what? Don't even do a play. Say, I'm going to do a play. Have a deadline because no one sees the play.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cate Blanchett does not have bronchitis. Considering a play.

[Chris Fleming]

She's. Yeah, yeah, she's threatening to do A Chorus Line. Yeah, she's threatening to be the choreographer in A Chorus Line. Take it again from the top. A 5, 6, 7, 8. She'd be so good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's perfect casting.

[Chris Fleming]

I broke my leg or I tore my meniscus in high school, and I did community theater of Chorus Line, but I was in backstage chorus, and I had a T shirt that said backstage chorus and had to come out during the curtain call.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They made you wear that T shirt?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, I still.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's unfair.

[Chris Fleming]

I think I gave it to someone when I used to have it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's abusive behavior.

[Chris Fleming]

Huge. To hear a whole crowd laughing, like, during a curtain call. Like, imagine you see a show and then backstage chorus, backstage choreography comes out and takes a long bow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And this was because of the injury.

[Chris Fleming]

I mean, so I was told.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're like, thank God he injured himself.

[Chris Fleming]

I think they would have let me on stage if it hadn't been for the. I don't. Hopefully. But yeah. So the bear lake monster. Are we talking foul or are we talking mammal?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I would love a wet foul.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my. A foul cryptid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sopping wet. Wet feathers covered in mud. Yeah. That's the sound of the bearleg monster.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah. It sucks to be that. Yeah. We both knew it was a pained existence.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I mean, I think the general thought was that it was kind of serpentine. Yeah. But I feel like everybody just goes to Nessie. They just imagine it's another dinosaur.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm imagining a kind of plumped up platypi.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's not a bad lake monster.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah. Like half bird, half.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Like, you don't want to even see a platypus.

[Chris Fleming]

No. Has anyone. Have you ever known someone who's seen a platypus?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never met anybody.

[Chris Fleming]

Tell me when. Okay, so you think. Tell me what you think is a cyber platypus. Tell me when.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, great question.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, I guess I can start even. Who knows? It could be that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As big as a quarter?

[Chris Fleming]

Infinitesimal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, keep going there. I would say like a newborn puppy size.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a lot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that right?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I thought you knew.

[Chris Fleming]

Sorry, I did that. Like a wildlife.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, then let me try with you. Going.

[Chris Fleming]

Going when?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, so about the size of a Chips Ahoy.

[Chris Fleming]

Not a Chips Ahoy. Mine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. No, no, not like snack pack. Or.

[Chris Fleming]

It could be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It could be huge.

[Chris Fleming]

It could be a nutria.

[Bridger Weiniger]

With the architecture of a platypus. I feel like it needs to be big. The divine architecture to support the. All of the things that went wrong. Right. Like, it can't be something. It can't be delicate or fragile. It's got to be like, you don't have a disgusting and God bless. But they are gross.

[Chris Fleming]

It's built like a suspension bridge. Oh, the platypus is gross.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's a gross creature.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, totally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it's got to be big.

[Chris Fleming]

The eggs. The EG is tmi.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. That's.

[Chris Fleming]

That's the first time I heard. I go TMI in biology. Yeah. They're like, hey, and just so you guys know, they lay eggs. Everyone's like, class is dismissed. We're going home early. This sucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That should be live birth.

[Chris Fleming]

It's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That should be a live birth creature.

[Chris Fleming]

Totally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just learned that there's one snake that does live birth that's actually, I guess, kind of equal. I can't remember. I wish.

[Chris Fleming]

They make a big stink of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What?

[Chris Fleming]

They make a big stink of it. The snakes. You want to know so you can avoid them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Imagine a snake just giving birth to.

[Chris Fleming]

You spend a lot of time with snake other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

Home on vacation snakes. Just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's someone right now calling the police. I think a snake has been left in a car in the hot sun. That's the one pet you probably could leave in a hot car.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. You have to be that. You have to be such a punk to call. Like, it's a certain type of person that would call the police to see a snake that saw a snake in the car and to worry about the well being there. You have to be like. You have to be pretty hard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Other people would be like. Like the snake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They really would. Like, dog, cat, whatever. Of course, you're probably trying to break the window snake.

[Chris Fleming]

Totally. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, thank you.

[Chris Fleming]

It's probably happier.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have to actively be on your way to the Reptile Expo to be the sort of person that calls about the snake in the car.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right. Do you think without all the snake lore and, like, religion and stuff, we would think different. We probably think a little differently.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. If they weren't kind of a symbol of evil.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They got a. They really got a bad shake.

[Chris Fleming]

Or is that just the easiest writing? Like, is it a chicken or the egg thing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. It is just naturally scary. Moving without legs. That's the devil. Of course. That would tempt you into eating fruit.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah. And also spiders, I guess. Didn't really ever have much of a chance. Much lore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They just. I think they were just actively biting people and harming. So they were.

[Chris Fleming]

Right. Well, they came around, I think, in the 80s.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. They were introduced in 1987. And initially it was like at CES and it was like the tech people were like, okay, we can do this. And then as we do with all tech, it got out of control.

[Chris Fleming]

It got completely out of control.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Religion, embrace. They got out and said, this is evil.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then other then we also got Snake Church, which is also the whole thing.

[Chris Fleming]

Snake Church. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But no spiders, I think have just kind of. They're kind of a bad boy.

[Chris Fleming]

They're such a bad boy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You don't need the Bible telling you a spider's bad, you know?

[Chris Fleming]

But not a centipede. A centipede.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You feel bad for Centipede is because.

[Chris Fleming]

The difference between a freak and a bad boy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Centipede is a full freak that can't really help itself.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But the bad boy is. It's. It's got an agenda.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At least some type of structure in its life.

[Chris Fleming]

And you stay away from it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

The freak, you go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Doesn't have any friends.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. The people don't even kill centipedes cuz they're like, ah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Centipede has got a rolling luggage behind it at all times, carrying its things. It's cool. Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Wearing boxers is short. Everyone's like, Even the nerds are like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We can't do anything with that.

[Chris Fleming]

We can't. Sorry. Hey, you're on your own. Sorry, man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, well, I think I'm gonna take them off my shirt. I'm getting a little warm.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which is fine.

[Chris Fleming]

Forgot you had a tunic underneath that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's good to just be able to constantly reveal yourself.

[Chris Fleming]

It's good to be able to just pop that thing off too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How many shirts can you pop off? That's one thing a western wear does best.

[Chris Fleming]

And western wear kind of stopped being like Western where you thought was having a thing around 2009-2011. The snap buttons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Chris Fleming]

And then something happened.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's headed back, you think? Oh, yeah, it's absolutely headed back In.

[Chris Fleming]

Big sky country or everywhere.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's creeping in.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's probably as close as Riverside right now. It's like stopping to gas up in Riverside on its way down. I think that Western where it is on its way back, is it staying in a.

[Chris Fleming]

In like a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's staying at a friend's place.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A friend that has not seen in a long time. And they're like. Well, he called and asked. He's like, what was I supposed to do?

[Chris Fleming]

Thanks so much, man. Hey, this was really good. Let's do the. Hey, let's do this again, and then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You'Re apologizing to your spouse about the whole weekend.

[Chris Fleming]

Why did you let him do that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, this is coming back. Yeah. Trying to do a trend report. That's hard.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like v necks are now. I mean, see?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People want to show up and out that whole time.

[Chris Fleming]

And Elise has been doing a slow. And Elise has been doing the slowest slow zoom on my nip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's now microscopic. Or we can see what's living on that now. The viewer is just trying to eat breakfast.

[Chris Fleming]

They're like, hey, you can't. And it's slowly. Our sound, our talking is just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sounds like we're miles beneath your crack monster.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, the lake arrow head platypus. And just my nipple.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just beneath your pillowy nipple.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. You hear my nip? Wow. This episode was crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nipple monsters.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think a collared. What do you call this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a what? Yeah. When it's not like a buttoned collar and it's, like, attached to.

[Chris Fleming]

It's woodworking stuff for Robin Wright pen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's right. I would say it's a pilot's. No, I would say it's like there's something about very airplane. Very. Being very, very aviation in the sky.

[Chris Fleming]

Very in the sky.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And I can't say what it is. And mine's more of a. Would you say this is a keyhole? What do you mean? Do they call that a keyhole shirt when it's, like, kind of revealing?

[Chris Fleming]

This is something you. You. Oh, my God. You look like you could be in the White Lotus right now as one of the hospitality. You look like the. The guy. Do you watch the White Lotus? Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. I love the White Lotus.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm gonna need something to happen, though.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, we're taking our time.

[Chris Fleming]

I got gay talks gone. You got gay talks gone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

Gay dar or gay tar?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gay tar, I believe gay tar. It's a guitar for gay men.

[Chris Fleming]

They got his gun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, the gun.

[Chris Fleming]

And now this is a montage where they're partying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People loved the partying montage. And listen, anything Mike White makes, I'm there to watch and enjoy.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, totally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But the party montage for me was I started to get. It's. I was starting to get into spy movie territory, maybe because I'm not experienced with parties, but it's a little bit like, okay, they're having a good time.

[Chris Fleming]

If you're ever filming and you're making something and you need public Domain footage of partying. That's what that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what it is.

[Chris Fleming]

That was. That was like. It was like 30 minutes of that. It went a little long with Michelle Monahan. I love to see Michelle Monahan letting loose.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's doing a great job.

[Chris Fleming]

She's doing wonderful. Park Posey, doing a full on Groundlings character. It's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm pushing back. I think she's doing the character so accurately that it's a cartoon.

[Chris Fleming]

See, okay, this is where you're exactly right and that just everyone is not giving characters anymore. So when someone gives a character.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you're like, oh, they're acting.

[Chris Fleming]

Are you doing front facing comedy? But it's. No, that's acting. Everyone else is just showing up and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just doing their normal voice.

[Chris Fleming]

How's everybody feeling?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, my God, the brothers. Oh, my God, the fucking brothers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, the dad. British. You know, what's that guy's name?

[Chris Fleming]

Whenever you see someone giving a really good performance, obviously they're a Brit and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They'Re doing like an obscure southern accent. I mean, the backflips that man's doing.

[Chris Fleming]

If you're ever auditioning for something and there's a British dude and you go, Go home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, go home. They don't want an American actor for this.

[Chris Fleming]

No. If they can do Brits. No, it's not the other way around.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely not.

[Chris Fleming]

Any American that goes, hello. Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it's Oliver Twist. Every time.

[Chris Fleming]

It's disgraceful. We can't do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can you do any accent?

[Chris Fleming]

I could do a. Okay, we're gonna get your family back. That's from Blood Diamond. That's South African. That's Leo DiCaprio. That's over there. It's bling bling. Over here, it's bling bang. We're gonna get your family back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Family.

[Chris Fleming]

Can you do any.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God, it's so. You feel so naked when you're trying to do an accent.

[Chris Fleming]

Hey, we gotta. We gotta prove our special skills on our resume.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, you can do Midwest. I mean, I can do. Anybody can do a Midwest.

[Chris Fleming]

The Francis McDormand. Don't you know?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Don't you having tacos and water.

[Chris Fleming]

Whoa. That goes in. What? Okay, I like when. I like when you can spell it out. Can you do Pittsburgh?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. My God, that one feels like you have to like, go to a witch to learn that. You don't just do a Pittsburgh accent. Like, what the. I mean, that's another language, wouldn't you say?

[Chris Fleming]

You got, you know. Yeah, that's a witch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wouldn't be able to even point it out. Like it's such a. It's very obscure.

[Chris Fleming]

I only know if they zoom in on Pittsburgh in the beginning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Then if it's Mr. Rogers neighborhood.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He didn't have a Pittsburgh accent. There's the flaw in the show.

[Chris Fleming]

He was in Pittsburgh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. He has the little. I went to Pittsburgh for a wedding and rode the. What is that a funicular that goes up the hill. Doesn't he have a little trolley or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure. Anneliese, does this feel right to you? Anneliese is confused.

[Chris Fleming]

Annelise gave us the light.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fred Rogers. Turn it off. Turn it off.

[Chris Fleming]

Off. He weigh 42 pounds his whole life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

142. Famously. He kind of bragged about it at the first of every episode. I'm taking my shoes off. 144 in shoes.

[Chris Fleming]

That's why I took the shoes off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Cuz he's. His couch is constantly weighing him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

148 in puppets.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Really? I. I never start thinking about what are the. What was the scary puppet?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, the kind again. Devil.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was kind of a devilish.

[Chris Fleming]

It was Lady Elaine and her face.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Was very rubbery, wasn't it? And her nose was.

[Chris Fleming]

Her nose was very unforgiving. And she had a chin and she was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It was like the chin almost meets nose. You know, that person's up to no good.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right. She terrified when you could see the dreamworks kid fishing from their chin from the chin to the nose. You know? You know something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where's his movie? There's some IP that could be exploited.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, they're doing it. And they're having. Will Poulter's playing him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I actually am happy to believe that.

[Chris Fleming]

Will Poulter as the DreamWorks kid. And it's him finally catching something. It's him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We finally find out. And it's of course a love letter to movies. He catches a vhs. Teaches children about the importance of film.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes. Any filet it. He debones and fillets the vhs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The guts coming in a brutal.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. The Daniels are doing it. So it's gonna be. Of course it's gonna be. Win. It's gonna be fun. Oh, it's gonna be fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People are gonna be talking.

[Chris Fleming]

Ooh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh.

[Chris Fleming]

Is this Ebaum's world? Ooh. Oh my God. Oh. Is this a Internet trope from 2012?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yes. Anyway, I think I feel like I should give us the light to play the Game. I think we're to the words that actually, I do want to ask you. I don't want to leave the clothing before asking you, like, what your shopping style is, because you do obviously, like, how are you filling out your wardrobe? You're the only person in the world I care about that's asking this question. Question.

[Chris Fleming]

I. I try to do a different outfit every time I'm on stage, and that is getting pretty crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds exhausting.

[Chris Fleming]

And it's just very intuitive. I mean, not to sound like a, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you've also made just, you know, mystic or anything.

[Chris Fleming]

But I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If I just wake up from a dream and you.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, I just have this. For example, I'm like, I need something with a purple faux fur collar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Chris Fleming]

And I Google purple faux fur collar. And I. Yeah. And I'm finding that this is. This is all women stuff, I think. But typically, I'm finding. Thank you. I've been doing mostly on stage. I've been doing more British men's clothes. And British men's bodies are fitted. They're like my body.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Chris Fleming]

The American body. The American's men clothes is like, you know, John Wayne.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a refrigerator box every time.

[Chris Fleming]

Exactly, exactly. And I'm sure you see this and you're very.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would say you're somebody that could be in the intro of 101 Dalmatians character with a dollar dog.

[Chris Fleming]

Or the dog. I'm the rare guy who's walking himself. And they cut to live action for that one and they play a low drone. But yeah, it's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you have a very, like, more of a British energy.

[Chris Fleming]

I appreciate that. People that. Yeah. People that don't hear me speak, if they just see photos of me, they'll jump to British. People that have known me from memes thought that I was British.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Well, Fleming sounds British.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the other famous Fleming? Ian Fleming.

[Chris Fleming]

Ian Fleming. Yeah. Uncle. Uncle Bond. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Part of the Barbara Barkley broccoli.

[Chris Fleming]

Is it Broccoli? Barbara Broccoli, which sounds like a veggietales protagonist.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I keep saying Barbara Barkley, which is probably part of the Charles Foundation.

[Chris Fleming]

Well, Barbara Barkley sounds more like a human name and less like a children's name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not like the first thought someone had for a fake name.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. What's your name?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Barbara Brogley. Ralph's produce section. Trying to hide.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Looking at. Watching 2020 with Barbara Walters or whatever. Brogley. Barbara Brogley.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I'm glad that she's kind of I don't know what the drama is there. People at war over James Bond. I think she gave up. Maybe Amazon took over. The details are so exhausting. I can't stand.

[Chris Fleming]

But I didn't know they were. Wait, is there an issue?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Barbara owned James Bond.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And somehow she's lost control of the ip.

[Chris Fleming]

He got away from her.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got slippery fish.

[Chris Fleming]

Whoop. It was a windy day on top of the Empire State Building.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Shoot.

[Chris Fleming]

Damn it. And Bezos. It's in his teeth.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Flies behind his gyrocopter with a net.

[Chris Fleming]

He's in a paddle boat. He's a Nazi target. Well, they're gonna put. Is it Josh O'Connor, do you think?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, is he up for it?

[Chris Fleming]

That's what I heard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think I made a grandfather. This is the sort of thing I.

[Chris Fleming]

Just believe I heard it was. I truly. Wait, are we the challengers? Guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Chris Fleming]

If he was there. I'm there. I'm there. On opening night.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's a little young. That feels like Teen Bond to me.

[Chris Fleming]

That's what it is. It's Bond junior.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like Nick junior If they did Bond junior That. I think that would. At least it would revitalize the formula.

[Chris Fleming]

And they want to have a live studio Teens.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're shooting in the same studio as Last Man Standing.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Barbara demanded it.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I think it's time to play a game. We're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse. I need a number between one and ten from you. Okay. I have to do some, like, calculating to get our game pieces right now. You can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.

[Chris Fleming]

You have to do some basic math.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay. I recommend. Oh, I hate to do this. I watched Companion, which is the Sophie Thatcher, I think is her name. I get obsessed with actors, and I got obsessed with Sophie Thatcher, and she played. Oh, I don't want to give anything away, but it's a good little horror movie that I liked that was fun. And Dennis Quaid's son plays a. A douche in it who. And he does a really convincing job of it, and I'm not in it or involved in it in any way. In fact, even when I. When I audition for things now, it's almost like they're just trying to make sure I'm not the right person for the part. That's kind of. That's kind of what an audition feels like. We thought we were sure you were. We wanted to really make sure you were wrong for this. Thank you for coming in. Quick. We can Cross you off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see here. Oh my God, I'm a mess. You're doing this with gloves. Forget it.

[Chris Fleming]

No, you were typing with gloves.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm just trying to select with gloves.

[Chris Fleming]

For those of you at home, Bridger isn't. I don't know if you ever went to Space Camp, but when you have to put your hands into the space box in the mitts and you're wearing. It's like what it feels like. That's what Bridger's doing on his.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I never got. I got robbed of that opportunity. I never got to do space Box.

[Chris Fleming]

You were too busy doing foods.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I was.

[Chris Fleming]

Foods.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Learning to how to make. No, bake cookies.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like what they yell at Urgent care for foods when someone is crashing. Foods. Foods. Can you tie me to these and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See if I go after the show? Of course.

[Chris Fleming]

In the parking lot?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I've got a gun to shoot you down. Things get out of control. Okay, good. No, this is. This is how we play. Gift or curse? I'm going to name three things, okay? And you're going to tell me if they are a gift or a curse, and why.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers. You can fail. And to fail on a fifth anniversary, tough feeling.

[Chris Fleming]

We can't have that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, this first one, this is from a. We don't even know who it's from. It's an unmarked grave. It was from Instagram Live, so we don't know your name. Gift or a curse? Sneezing while driving. A curse.

[Chris Fleming]

I mean, it's pleasure because it's 1/16 of an orgasm, but you're blinded. I mean, it's where it's incredibly dangerous, you know, sneezing while driving because you go. Because you physically cannot sneeze with your eyes open unless you're, you know, CIA trained.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, they probably do train for that.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, West Point, they spend a little weekend doing that. There's a little trick. You gotta pinch yourself right here when you get a little tibula fat. Achoo. Then you can graduate and you get your gun in your badge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is probably a sixteenth of an orgasm. That must be scientific, right?

[Chris Fleming]

Well, that's what we were taught first.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In the fractions course, as we get.

[Chris Fleming]

To 1/16th of an orgasm. Doing cocaine is like six orgasms. Remember they would tell you that's like, Jesus, it's like a full body orgasm. That's what they would tell us about coke. Do not do this wrong. Oh, it's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sneezing while driving.

[Chris Fleming]

You're right. It's a vacation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a feeling. It's a vacation. It's an escape.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a trial. I feel like it's like God's little driving test.

[Chris Fleming]

That's so funny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What else can he put in front of you other than a sneeze?

[Chris Fleming]

You're right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How are you going to do it?

[Chris Fleming]

If the divine were in charge of your. Of getting your license, that. That would be before parallel parking. Sneezing in the. On the freeway.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Chris Fleming]

They should. They should put a little pepper in your. In your snout.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're driving instructor Mason.

[Chris Fleming]

You pass. You didn't total. You didn't fucking T bone the bridge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's absolutely a gift. For that alone, it's just like, how often are you put. You're going 70. You're blowing snot all over the windshield.

[Chris Fleming]

He's going 70. You in the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm the school zone, baby. 70s is about as fast as I'll go.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And that's when I'm in a rush.

[Chris Fleming]

Before you give out. Not the car.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I pass out at 71.

[Chris Fleming]

I pass out at 40.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cart swerves across the freeway at 40.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like when a pilot goes into the. To the what? The G zone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is why we keep you on a scooter.

[Chris Fleming]

The T zone. That's why they keep you on a scooter. That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But, yeah, it is a gift. Sneezing while driving is absolutely a gift. God's little driving test.

[Chris Fleming]

I love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And we've all been through it. It levels the playing field for all of us. We've all been through it.

[Chris Fleming]

But if everyone sneezes at the same time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, imagine. What does that look like?

[Chris Fleming]

It looks like the next Die Hard movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What will Bruce do?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Everyone's car just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Exact same angle.

[Chris Fleming]

Everyone just goes. And Bruce has to come out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, it's. It's up there with B and car. But with what? With a bee in the car. You ever had to be in the car?

[Chris Fleming]

I have. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We love the bee in the car.

[Chris Fleming]

I once drove a tree frog from North Carolina to, like, Vermont. I was like, oh. Oh, God. Do I have to go back?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is it in the passenger seat? Back, back. Of course. Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Complaining about your drive. Ask me, turn down the music.

[Chris Fleming]

Tonight's gonna be a good teenage dream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Chris Fleming]

You've got Katy Perry in the flesh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've seen Katy Perry in the flesh. I literally have. Before Fame at Sundance. Performing acoustic guitar can you imagine anything you're gonna get.

[Chris Fleming]

You're gonna get sniped for? Say, like, I'm trying to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's been trying to track me down. I'm the last survivor of that concert and she won't get me.

[Chris Fleming]

She plays guitar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She played on la, Said this was some sort of fever dream.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, this is real.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, because I lived in. Grew up in Salt Lake, we would go up to Sundance, like as teens or like in college, just to experience what was going on and while holding.

[Chris Fleming]

The cross, I hope.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, of course, of course. Trying to let people know what you're doing is wrong or just even under the shirt, just to be self protection.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In case it got a little too crazy, Case.

[Chris Fleming]

Katy Perry went acoustic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But we ended up at a Katy Perry concert. Or like, I think it was a few different musicians. And this must have been in 2007.

[Chris Fleming]

Whoa. Before I kiss girls.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Oh, I do. It was like, I'm doing. It was her crossover from I'll do it. I kissed a girl and I'll do it again. A threat.

[Chris Fleming]

I kissed a girl and you can't prove it. You can't prove you didn't see. You don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She was. We went to this concert and here's this woman, Katy Perry, on acoustic guitar, trying to, I think, kind of cross over from Christianity to kissing a girl and et cetera.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And so it was kind of like.

[Chris Fleming]

Really trying out of that plastic bag kind of a thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, yes. And it rubbed me the wrong way, certainly. Let's just say that that's when she blew onto the scene. And again, this could have been another Katy Perry. I don't know that much about.

[Chris Fleming]

No, no. This was Katy Perry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The world of Katy Perry.

[Chris Fleming]

This is how I felt when I saw Vampire Weekend play a basement show. I was like. And like before they blew up and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And how was that experience? I was like, were these guys like.

[Chris Fleming]

What'S with the Casio? I remember thinking like, oh, take off the boat shoes. And then they're like, massive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they're one of the biggest.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm a terrible judge of who's going to pop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If I think you're going to pop. You're, of course, my taste.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I've had a lot of career nightmares about realizing all the things I like are the things that fail.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Katy Perry. I saw her at a. She was at a. I went to see Ellen do standup and Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were in front. They were in the Back row. And so they. She comes in in a bodysuit, and she was showing. I didn't know this to make this part of the body hot, because it's all about seeing things that you shouldn't be seeing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, of course. It's like, wait, why there's never a hole there?

[Chris Fleming]

Like, if I had a hole here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, people would go nuts.

[Chris Fleming]

People be like dogs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've got a Subaru T shirt that's got a little hole there. And every time I lift my shirt up, I think, oh, people are going crazy.

[Chris Fleming]

People are on all fours begging for more. All right, sorry. Okay, what's the next gift? Of course. Curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, so you've gotten.

[Chris Fleming]

I gotten zero.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've done two so hard.

[Chris Fleming]

We've done two on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At least we've done one. One. Yes. We've done sneezing while driving. Okay. Gift or curse? This is from a listener named Emily.

[Chris Fleming]

Hello, Emily.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Trying to figure out what gave you food poisoning.

[Chris Fleming]

Trying to figure out what gave you food poisoning. A gift or a curse. Wow. Okay. I believe that you. That there is no trying. There's knowing when you, you know, I mean, speaking of broccoli, one time I went to lemonade, made that place gone for good. The broccoli, is it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think they're all gone.

[Chris Fleming]

LAX still has one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think LAX has a lot of things that should have been dead a long time ago.

[Chris Fleming]

The, the broccoli. I got sick from broccoli. And I, I. The second I began my. My spew, I, I, I, I see a stock image of broccoli in my entire. You just know. You just know. So you don't. You don't try to figure it out. You either know or you. You don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you're saying gift. Oh, or curse.

[Chris Fleming]

Right. I guess I didn't answer the question. Trying to figure out is a. It's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gift. Correct?

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I, I, you know, I, I'm kind of on the same page.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The body knows what the body knows. It's in your DNA. That's right.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you don't know. But this is where it becomes a gift. It becomes a mystery, and it begins. You. You're going back. You're looking at the Polaroids. It combines mystery, the potential to accuse someone, accuse a lot of people, and customer service complaints. These are all the things I love to do.

[Chris Fleming]

That's a beautiful trifecta right there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So, look, I've always known what poisoned me. I've always known while eating it. Basically, here it goes.

[Chris Fleming]

This is a side.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel I'm out of control of my life.

[Chris Fleming]

Desert sushi, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, let's get sushi in Palm Springs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Chicken under the car, you know, whatever ever.

[Chris Fleming]

Chicken under the girl interrupted when she keeps it on the bed. Remember Britney Murphy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I haven't seen girl interrupted revealing something I don't know about culture. She's always embarrassing.

[Chris Fleming]

She has like a rotisserie chicken under her bed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Whole Costco.

[Chris Fleming]

They're like, what's wrong with this girl?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's like she's got a chicken under there. She got chicken food poisoning. That's. That's no mystery. She's not figuring that out. Okay, so you've gotten one out of two so far.

[Chris Fleming]

That's pretty good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not bad.

[Chris Fleming]

That's really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And finally, this is from one of our Patreon listeners named Caitlyn.

[Chris Fleming]

Hello, Caitlyn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gift her a curse. Msg.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The seasoning.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, very much a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, cuz you're like. If you're going to go out, it's like doing something naughty. It feels like, because everyone speaks so ill of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Chris Fleming]

That when you have it, it's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A. Yeah, it's a gift. Of course. I mean, msg, you know, I feel like there must have been some dateline art or report in 1994 saying it was poison, which is simply not true. It's a fun seasoning. What is it? Just salt?

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. What is it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It makes up a lot of different cuisines that I adore.

[Chris Fleming]

Is it Madison Square Garden?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's Madison Square Garden.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting. How have I never made that connection?

[Chris Fleming]

They franchise it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. They made into a season.

[Chris Fleming]

Hey. Hey. We're doing really well. You think we should be a seasoning?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to say it's monosodium. The G is. There's the mystery.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Gangster.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gangster.

[Chris Fleming]

Gangsta.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gangsta. Soundcloud, rapper. Msg.

[Chris Fleming]

So when. So when I hear sodium. Yeah, I think we're talking salt crystals.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love salt. My low. My blood pressure is rock bottom. I need as much salt as I can get.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, yeah, no, I haven't. I haven't had a blood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Take it out. Yeah, take it out.

[Chris Fleming]

They don't even bother taking my. My. I freak out when they cuff when.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The doctor says, no, I didn't. I didn't sign up for this.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, we don't want to know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can take my temperature, but do not.

[Chris Fleming]

I hate when. I hate when they squeeze it and then you feel your thing pumping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, there's your Body. There's.

[Chris Fleming]

I don't want to know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's outof body experience.

[Chris Fleming]

I don't want to know. So, yeah, MSG rocks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love msg.

[Chris Fleming]

You're saying it's mono.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sodium, sodium.

[Chris Fleming]

So it's one sodium glutamate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Glutamate.

[Chris Fleming]

One sodium glutamate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just ask a single one. Doing so much work.

[Chris Fleming]

Exactly. Getting so much. Getting shit on by baby boom. MSG is. It's the pit bulls of seasoning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was. I. I am not kidding. I thought pit bulls. Seriously, Pit bulls have been so maligned by Dateline article or. Why do I keep saying article? It's a news magazine and we all trust Dateline. I feel like those daytime News shows in the 90s were like, pit bulls are evil. Fuck. Pit bulls do not have msg.

[Chris Fleming]

York shouldn't have won that swan out. And MSG is going to kill you, your kids, and blow your house up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Yeah, I'm petting a pit bull and eating a bowl of msg. Pour that on whatever you want.

[Chris Fleming]

Feeding my pit bull MSG as we speak.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Chris Fleming]

Out of my own mouth. He's wearing a little beaded collar to show you that he's not gonna be mean.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My only question, is it wet or dry?

[Chris Fleming]

The food?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

Msg.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

Well, it's only one of them, so it can't be too wet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yes.

[Chris Fleming]

So it's mono. The gluc. The glucitamine dries it out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's just there.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. No, it's wet because it's usually part of, like, a noodle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's. Yeah, usually like on a. It's in wet foods usually.

[Chris Fleming]

So you should be able to search that on. On DoorDash.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just MSG.

[Chris Fleming]

Wet Foods.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wet foods. That should be a whole category.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Italian, Japanese, vegan, wet foods.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But soup does not fall under that category. That's another thing.

[Chris Fleming]

It's a drink. I mean, we know that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Then it's a drink or a cereal.

[Chris Fleming]

It's a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you keep that out of my.

[Chris Fleming]

Wet Foods cereal to keep out in the rain. I don't do soups for that reason.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You don't eat a soup. I love a soup. That's LA's biggest problem.

[Chris Fleming]

No soups.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very few soups.

[Chris Fleming]

Where do you find soups? Toronto.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Toronto.

[Chris Fleming]

You got to go to Toronto.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Portland.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And probably northern Florida. They're not eating soup in South Florida, but yeah, Maine, of course. I mean, chowders, what have you.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, I can't do a creamy soup.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that is. That's a line too far. Yeah, Bridge too far.

[Chris Fleming]

You know, I like a beef stew.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love a good beef stew.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm getting hungry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I'm getting hungry. And you never get an opportunity for a stew.

[Chris Fleming]

I thought you were gonna say, and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You never get hungry, and you never get hungry. That's the thing. Everybody knows about you.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, Yeah, A stew. Because a stew takes a village.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It takes a village. And no restaurant can gather that to make a stew.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah. You ask for a stew at a restaurant, and they go, no, sure, there's the exit. Unless you is this room and board. Like, if you're staying the night.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you're a weary traveler, the shutters are being banged against the house and there's a storm. Then you can have a stew while you try to get to bed in a creaky bed.

[Chris Fleming]

If our Bernie's mountain dog is going to wake you up tomorrow, then you can have a stew. But other than that, no. You know, Burmese mountain dogs live to be like, six.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's tough.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like an anole. An anole.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is. That's the sort of thing where the breeding has gone bad.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes. You gotta get a little Chihuahua. That's what the Chihuahuas are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The lifespan of a Chihuahua.

[Chris Fleming]

They're conquistadors in la. They hook up with every dog. And they. And what they're doing, you think they're just slutting. But what they're doing is they're adding the life expectancy. They're saying, we want you to live. We want your pros and e to live another three or four years. That's all they're doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This should be a law that, like every purebred dog right now should just be bred with a Chihuahua. And moving forward, every animal should have a. At least a drop of Chihuahua.

[Chris Fleming]

Right. Which does sound like something that Chihuahuas would. Would want to get started.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, they'd get behind that.

[Chris Fleming]

They'd be like sick little freaks. Tell me in. I got nothing else to do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you got two out of three. Two out of three. That's not bad.

[Chris Fleming]

That's great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Could have flopped.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like grades that you start getting senior year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, of course. It's like, oh, I. I've written into the college. Yeah, you can't catch me now.

[Chris Fleming]

I got in early decision round two. Not. Not round one. I tried to get into Vassar round one. They said, yeah, try again. Try again anywhere else.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, Anneliese, I think it's time for your gift or a curse.

[Chris Fleming]

Uh oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Annalise has one. We're both going to answer to and try to be correct.

[Annelise Nelson]

Great gift or a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The little shake.

[Chris Fleming]

Connections does the game Connections.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are you familiar with Connections?

[Chris Fleming]

Connections.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, so this is a hard one for you, and you're going to have to speak to it.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going to demand you speak to it. Connections is a, like, wordle style game where you have to. It has four different categories and you have to like, essentially figure out which words belong in which category. There are 16 words, four categories. How do we line these up? And when you get it wrong.

[Chris Fleming]

Sounds way harder than a wordle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it's way harder. And that's why I do it, because I'm smarter than everyone.

[Chris Fleming]

You're like, yeah, you need the stimulation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Wordle. Give me a break. Wordle is the lottery.

[Chris Fleming]

My wordle is just two letters and I get 30.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's worth trying, actually.

[Chris Fleming]

Maybe that is hard. Actually.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It might be difficult.

[Chris Fleming]

It might be harder. I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's worth trying somebody.

[Chris Fleming]

Actually, the intent was funny, but in practice, what you're discussing is a much more challenging game. So Connections is imagine wordle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you get it wrong and the whole while looking at it, there was a visual shake.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, fuck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What do you think of that?

[Chris Fleming]

It's negative reinforcement.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Negative reinforcement.

[Chris Fleming]

I think that's brilliant. And I'm sure that whoever figured that out studied, you know, psychology and how to hurt us and things that. When people are fucking with us on that kind of visceral level. Negative reinforcement or what feels good or what doesn't feel like. Apps know what feels good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, they know. Exactly.

[Chris Fleming]

So that means they know what feels bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, absolutely.

[Chris Fleming]

And just start doing things that feel bad. That's funny. That's a gift. That's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think as a wordle user.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Curse. You don't know this feeling, Chris. This is a bad.

[Chris Fleming]

How bad?

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a genuinely horrible feeling.

[Chris Fleming]

Like your eyes are like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It hurts. It hurts to see the shake. And I don't need that from the New York Times. Not right now, not in this environment, not in this atmosphere. I need.

[Chris Fleming]

This is Ezra Klein in a Wizard of Oz situation behind the pulling the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Levers, screaming into a microphone, a high pitched death whistle. Death whistle. Yeah, it is. It hurts. And you know, it's the beginning of my day. I need a little. My self esteem is at rock bottom at all times. It was 11:30am we're talking about about 3:30.

[Chris Fleming]

Opening the blackout curtains in your penthouse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Condo, squinting, wiping the crust from my eyes. My hair is still wet.

[Chris Fleming]

30 cast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

Begging for food.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get out of here. I gotta play connections. But it really does hurt. And I feel like what they need to do. It should be a warm glow. When you get something wrong. It should be just like an amber glow.

[Chris Fleming]

Gentle parenting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gentle parenting. Thank you. I don't know if that's where we are, where we stand with parenting or if we've gotten back into shaking. I don't think we have.

[Chris Fleming]

I think we're. We're getting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're probably headed that way.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll be back with western wear.

[Chris Fleming]

That's the problem with rubber band. You know, you go so far and then the other. And then it's gonna be like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Actually. Correction. Yeah, the correction. And I feel like this is the beginning of that correction. Because it feels.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's agony. And I hate it. It's a curse.

[Chris Fleming]

It's agony. It's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it's a gift. Not on this episode.

[Annelise Nelson]

We are.

[Chris Fleming]

To me, this is an indication that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We are one step away from actually having the phone physically shake. Now, have we had a chance?

[Annelise Nelson]

We touch our phones all the time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like a rumble pack.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, the N64 rumble.

[Annelise Nelson]

Our phone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Phones touch us. That's what I want to know. You want the phone to touch you.

[Chris Fleming]

I love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. See, this is where you get red flags from people you work with. And you start to. And then years down the road, there's an actual betrayal. And you think, oh, well, they wanted the phone to shake.

[Chris Fleming]

But what you're saying, Annaliese, is actually that one day this could lead to the phone giving you intuitive cranial massage. That's. That is what. Because think about your phone. Yeah, you're right. And also, it's a two way street. We're touching that thing all day. Phone touches back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This all goes back to snakes at ces. You think it's a good idea now? It's the devil.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I'm correct. I don't know what either of you are talking about. We need to answer at least a couple listener messages. People have sent in voicemails or what happens.

[Chris Fleming]

Send them in. You've been keeping a couple listeners chained up outside?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. They'll die. They won't be asking any questions in.

[Chris Fleming]

A turned off hot tub. So it's like 55 degrees.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Please let us.

[Chris Fleming]

It's not cold at first, but it's actually getting. It's pretty bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No listeners sent voice notes, and we got too many to answer on the Show. We'll do that through other episodes, but let's do a couple at least.

[Chris Fleming]

Are you using the cameras that BMX bikers use?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That, like, naturally follow the fact that you say bmx. I had a dream last night that I had to do a. I had to go on a BMX on Jimmy Fallon. Stop. I'm not kidding. I don't know where I. I don't know. I don't care about either of those things. They're probably both the opposite of my personality. And I like. It was like, oh, I have to do bmx.

[Chris Fleming]

Was Questlove at least playing you in?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He better be, or you're doing that acapella. Silence, silence. I silently write a BMX onto the Tonight Show.

[Chris Fleming]

A tiny little bmx.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All Fox Racing gear.

[Chris Fleming]

Are you two camera. Yeah, you're on the pegs. You're doing one of those handlebar. Remember how badass those kids were?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Chris Fleming]

I thought they were gonna rule the world. Where are those kids?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Most of them. Yeah.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Rough endings for those kids. Had a lot of kids die from high school, and I think it's most of the Fox Racing crew.

[Chris Fleming]

I mean. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Meth gets you.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes, it does. Yes, it does.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Annelise, let's answer some questions.

[Annelise Nelson]

Hi, Bridger. Hi, Annelies.

[Chris Fleming]

My name is Shane.

[Annelise Nelson]

I am a Day One listener, and.

[Chris Fleming]

My question for you, Bridger, is whether or not you have any special hidden talents, like something kind of random or.

[Annelise Nelson]

Weird or niche that you never really.

[Chris Fleming]

Had an opportunity to show off, but.

[Annelise Nelson]

You have this aching, burning desire to really have an opportunity to share with the world.

[Chris Fleming]

Thanks. Do people not know that anyone in showbiz has no hidden talent?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't have, like, a visible talent.

[Chris Fleming]

We have put every little single piece of our abilities on public display.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I truly have nothing for decades. And people are like, that's. I guess that's wrong.

[Chris Fleming]

You know who's to blame for this? And I hope I'm getting her name right. Amanda Seyfried, who sang the Joni Mitchell song and played, like, the fricking, like a sideways instrument. Instrument. Did she do that in a show on Jimmy Fallon?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say, like, she did it in the Theranos tv.

[Chris Fleming]

That's who I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. If you stay after the credits, it's a bonus scene. She plays a dulcimer or whatever.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Elizabeth Holmes on the auto harp looping. Well, so she showed up and was like, look what I can do.

[Chris Fleming]

And she sings like a pitch perfect Joni Mitchell. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course we don't have those. I mean, do you have hidden skills of all. At all?

[Chris Fleming]

No, no, no. I have put. I have commercialized every one of my abilities.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You got to be everything. You got to do it all.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, like, minors, like I. I would say are pathetic. Like, I. I could claim to having a good internal clock.

[Chris Fleming]

Good circadian rhythm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Like, I can generally tell what time of day it is.

[Chris Fleming]

And that's a great. That is. That is a great thing to do on America's Got Talent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, just stand there.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm pretty sure it feels like 801.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The audience explodes.

[Chris Fleming]

Boom. We're going to Ventura.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I could do that. I. I will say I'm a powerful dancer.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But that's kind of part of performing. And just all of this.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then in Boy Scouts, I was a good. This was a scary one for a child to be good at this.

[Chris Fleming]

You're a good tracker.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good shot up. Wait, Boy Scout camp, we had to do rifle shooting? No, look, this was a. Maybe this was like deep cover for my homosexuality. I was like, I've got to do something straight.

[Chris Fleming]

Was this 1920?

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is turn of the century. No, this was. You know, at Boys Scout camp, you would have to shoot something. Probably cans or targets.

[Chris Fleming]

Jesus Christ.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I mean, they're training us to killers.

[Chris Fleming]

And you. You were a good shot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I had to shoot for my friends were bad and I helped them cheat.

[Chris Fleming]

Because you were that good?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was that good. I. I mean, I haven't tried since, but I guess people should be forewarned.

[Chris Fleming]

That you're a good shot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I mean, see, that is.

[Chris Fleming]

See, no, you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels like a hidden.

[Chris Fleming]

Has hidden talents. The fact that you are a good shot. No, I. I can't think of anything. Like, I was bad. My dad really wanted. He was a. He was really. He was a ship rat as a kid, so he wanted me to be a sailor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Chris Fleming]

And I can't read the way. I'm too dissociated. So I'm always capsizing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels like a hidden scale. They put you on a path to.

[Chris Fleming]

Be able to capsize. I played the tuba. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There we go.

[Chris Fleming]

Okay. Yeah, I played the tuba.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How long did you play the tuba?

[Chris Fleming]

Well, I played the baritone horn. And then in high school, we didn't have a tuba player, so they gave me the tuba and no one taught me how. And so I would just. I just tried to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just went wild.

[Chris Fleming]

But I did. I hated playing the bass line, so I would Try to play the melody. And they'd be like, you gotta hold down. And Louie Luay, you gotta hold down the bass line. I'd be like, that's no fun. They're like, we can hear you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You were overpowering every noise that's being.

[Chris Fleming]

Made and not getting it right. Because I don't have that. So no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Tuba. Was there ever any temptation to join like a ska band? Did they do two bun ska?

[Chris Fleming]

We got into it. Me and my best friends almost did that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, wow.

[Chris Fleming]

And luckily it never came through.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Life had other plans.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Because I did play a little trunk. A little trombone briefly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Chris Fleming]

But that you have to be a. Talk about internal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's an exercise.

[Chris Fleming]

It's clairvoyance. And also knowing this is. It's not like, oh yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's like. You really have to know the just general feel.

[Chris Fleming]

You have to tap into your ancestors like to know. And. And it's like crazy to be like, oh yeah. This is beautiful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Yeah. There's no chance. I need the black and white keys. I need a real clear indication of what I'll be pushing.

[Chris Fleming]

You tickle those ivories.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm tickling them. What are you playing so bad at the piano? I took 10 years.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I couldn't possibly play.

[Chris Fleming]

My piano teacher asked me to stop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Please stop.

[Chris Fleming]

After we had a mutual.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. You're not.

[Chris Fleming]

Not even split third grade because my sister was so good. Because you got to be a rule follower.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm so sorry.

[Chris Fleming]

You got the people that were really killing it in piano lessons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's.

[Chris Fleming]

They're not. I mean the world that they're setting themselves up for a world. For a pre 911 world. The kids that got kicked out of piano.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, we were ready to go.

[Chris Fleming]

Now let's. Let's mic them up. Let's. Let's hear from. They got. Let's hear from the disruptors who are trying to sight read at the recital for a duet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Banned from piano lessons.

[Chris Fleming]

Asked to step down. Hey, Chris, we don't want your money anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. When someone is like saying this is bad for my business. I still. You know, you're not. You shouldn't be playing that instrument.

[Chris Fleming]

You know, you're bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I feel like we answered that.

[Chris Fleming]

I think we did a wonderful job answering that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's do. Let's do two more.

[Chris Fleming]

Let's do 16 more.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's do at least 16 more and have the last one not be a question. They'll just be reading a book.

[Chris Fleming]

An open ended. An essay. Hello, Bridger. Hello, Anneliese. It is Steven Ray Morris calling in to wish I said no gifts. A happy 5th year anniversary.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Former person.

[Chris Fleming]

Already been 5 years and I just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wanted to ask a question.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm not sure if it's ever been asked on the podcast, but is there ever a gift that's too personal? Anyway, love you both. Congrats again.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have a former employee make it through the fence.

[Chris Fleming]

Seeing that face you made. You win, Steven. He found me to see the internal workings of the teeth.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was the question? Are there too many?

[Chris Fleming]

Is a gift too personal? Oh, is a gift too personal?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Never.

[Chris Fleming]

Never too personal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Never, never, never. I mean, test results. Test.

[Chris Fleming]

Positive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think test results you can have a fun moment with.

[Chris Fleming]

Totally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Here's the. You know, we're opening the envelope. We're all expecting something.

[Chris Fleming]

We know. Yeah, we know you got something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We know it can't be returned. So it's valuable. People are giving locks of their hair away.

[Chris Fleming]

Totally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People are.

[Chris Fleming]

People are grabbing hair.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, sure.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Giving teeth. You know, tooth necklaces.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know that there's anything too personal. Too scary. Sure.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, totally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a different. We're talking about two different things there.

[Chris Fleming]

Too personal how? Per.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. What is per? I guess it's really what is personal to you. And you know, I think that you just can't go too far. You should push. I think with gift giving, you should be pushing as far as personal.

[Chris Fleming]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You, the person should always, before opening a gift from you, should always be questioning. What am I gonna do? What.

[Chris Fleming]

What am I gonna do now that I know this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Leave them wanting, Abs. As much less as possible.

[Chris Fleming]

Security camera. Like a snapshot of you in a ring. Camera at an active crime scene or something. And have them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You are implicating them.

[Chris Fleming]

Now. This is. You can do what you want with this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now that your fingerprints are all over that.

[Chris Fleming]

I just want you to know I was there. You can. Hey. You can not tell them. You can tell them, but it's your call.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's why it's the gift.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a fun project you can do at home.

[Chris Fleming]

An ethics class. But a PhD, like a challenging ethics class.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Exactly.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So the question is no, Steven. And don't. Do not leave another voicemail.

[Chris Fleming]

Don't show your face around here. Steve.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Please don't send a video message. Now. That would be too. Too personal.

[Chris Fleming]

What about a tele. Singing telegram? Do you ever remember those?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you gotten one before?

[Chris Fleming]

No. Have you? No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would love to.

[Chris Fleming]

I think they. I think Bob Dole outlawed that. I think he passed Footage Bill and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, he and Elizabeth, you know, that was their kind of pet project.

[Chris Fleming]

That was their thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They had one that went too far.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Frank Sinatra song they didn't like or something.

[Chris Fleming]

And then they also tried to pass a bill that was. Everyone has to have a vanity plate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bob did.

[Chris Fleming]

Bob and Liz. Yeah. I think Pat Buchanan. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you have a vanity plate?

[Chris Fleming]

Not yet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a good answer.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. I want a vanity plate. I want a plate that looks like a vanity plate, but it's not, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, we're like a disorient other drivers or something. Yeah. Like what puts them in danger. They're trying to figure out what's going.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like. It's like a sentence and it's like, no, trust me, it's not a vanity play.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a good idea.

[Chris Fleming]

Did you have one?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, but again, maybe not yet. I'm just waiting for the right guy to come along.

[Chris Fleming]

It's one totally. It's one of those things that your Maslow's hierarchy needs to be. That fridge needs to be stocked.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Chris Fleming]

It's like before you start assigning photos to come contacts on your phone. Like, you better, you know, you better taxes paid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've gotta cross the T's, dot the I's cholesterol.

[Chris Fleming]

Good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, one more, One more.

[Alana Johnston]

Hello?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Fleming]

Hello.

[Alana Johnston]

It's former guest. Current special guest Bridger. Congratulations on five years of kind of our podcast together. When you really think about it, you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Were first a guest in 2023.

[Alana Johnston]

I brought you a tiny ice cream that's mainly melted and a big cut on my hands. And here's a tiny spoon for you. And we could all take a moment and watch you enjoy some, I think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. How long has this been out?

[Alana Johnston]

A couple hours. I brought it from home. I drove it here, and I came while I was in Santa Clarita for business.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Alana Johnston]

And I brought it from my home. I don't live there. I was renting a home.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Alana Johnston]

And I got some ice cream right when I got there.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes.

[Alana Johnston]

Anyways, are you gonna have some?

[Chris Fleming]

And that's a sunny stretch of the five too, that you're driving through.

[Alana Johnston]

Beautiful drive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It really is.

[Chris Fleming]

Are we talking Antelope Valley? Santa Clarita.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, Antelope Valley. Of course.

[Alana Johnston]

Around all of Santa Clarita before coming here with the ice cream. Pre scoop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, Alana, I noticed that you had.

[Annelise Nelson]

Some stuff on your hands.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you want. If you want to wipe off Your hands with it.

[Annelise Nelson]

Thank you.

[Alana Johnston]

What is this?

[Chris Fleming]

I mean, I.

[Alana Johnston]

Is that a cake?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I might have what the content together for, like, five.

[Annelise Nelson]

I mean, he and I actually have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Been on this podcast together for five years, so I'm just.

[Annelise Nelson]

Is this some sort of a joke?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love you more than she loves you, and I think that's very evident now. At least. Humility's pretty evident.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, that is definitely better than lukewarm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In two languages, by the way. This probably didn't spend time at a Trump rally.

[Alana Johnston]

I came all the way from Santa Clarita with my homemade ice cream that I purchased from Vons, and this is how you treat me? You know what? I'm done. No.

[Chris Fleming]

Move.

[Alana Johnston]

I'm done.

[Chris Fleming]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Out of my way.

[Alana Johnston]

Move.

[Chris Fleming]

I was out of. Wait.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How fast?

[Alana Johnston]

Get out of my way.

[Chris Fleming]

This takes a lot of.

[Alana Johnston]

I have to leave.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If I have a scoop of the ice. Ice cream, will you stay?

[Alana Johnston]

Yeah, we'll have a scoop, and let's see how it pans out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This looks so disgusting.

[Chris Fleming]

Is this safe, you think? Oh, my. Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like baby vomit.

[Chris Fleming]

It's dripping. Stage left.

[Alana Johnston]

The flavor is fresh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not bad. And now we've added to the glove.

[Alana Johnston]

I didn't bring you anything. I'm sorry. I didn't bring you anything.

[Chris Fleming]

This visual is enough of a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel rude not offering you a taste.

[Chris Fleming]

It's kind something. There's something kind of tiki about it. Looks like a tiki drink.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's very coconut. Very daiquiri.

[Alana Johnston]

I gotta go key on Elise's car. So, anyway, I'm gonna head out of here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, thank you for stopping by.

[Alana Johnston]

Yeah, no problem. I was waiting behind the curtain for the whole recording, and that's why the ice cream melted so much. But I'm glad you got your point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fingers.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah.

[Alana Johnston]

As long as you got to chat. Okay. I'll see you guys later.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Alana Johnston]

Well, goodbye. And Annalise get bent.

[Chris Fleming]

Wow. Wow. I haven't heard a get bent in a while. Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now the cake is on the floor. The listener is absolutely baffled as to what's just been going on.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, for the listener at home, we have a lukewarm ice cream. Like a. Like, time has made it a milkshake. And then a cake. Anneliese has dropped off a cake that had a lot of little letters on it. It's on the ground. Ground. I wouldn't call this a floor. I'd call this a ground.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It felt like a, you know, a desperate attempt to get Me to bend over in my tunic, to be honest.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. It was a hit piece.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, here's the cake. Maybe I will use a little spoon to have a bite.

[Chris Fleming]

It looks like a pie that might end up on Jerry Lewis.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, let's try it out.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Let's just give it a nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's so much frosting.

[Chris Fleming]

That is. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The amount of vanilla I'm consuming.

[Chris Fleming]

There's a handsome amount of frosting on this cake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The white's happening on camera. Blind, blinding.

[Chris Fleming]

It's a blinding white frosting with a kind of yellowy vanilla cake. And then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you want any cake?

[Chris Fleming]

You know, I'm as good as it looks. And as good as the way you're eating it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The way that you're eating actually is.

[Chris Fleming]

Like a raccoon out of a dumpster.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a delicious cake.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah. No, it looks good, right? I don't do desserts in public.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I barely do. Yeah, it's very hard.

[Chris Fleming]

I. I want to spare you my.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Look at that beauty. Beautiful.

[Chris Fleming]

My face when I eat dessert. Oh, it's gorgeous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you, Anneliese. That's wonderful. Well, I had my cake.

[Chris Fleming]

Yep.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've got my passion fruit.

[Chris Fleming]

You ready for bed?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Curl up with a good book. Curl up here in my western wear.

[Chris Fleming]

With the Obama coffee table book.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do they have a coffee table book?

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, yeah. My mom, when I. My. My childhood bedroom, she kind of re. Redid like it's an Airbnb now. It's like. It's like a. There's a vague picture of a waterfall or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, sure.

[Chris Fleming]

And then there's the Obama coffee table book that's right by my bedside whenever I'm there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. That's amazing. You're not welcome here. This is for renters.

[Chris Fleming]

Yes. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Chris Fleming]

Vultures.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, what a wonderful time I've had with you.

[Chris Fleming]

I've had the loveliest time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Deeply valuable gifts from you.

[Chris Fleming]

You're not gonna release any of this, though, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Just send me the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is like that Wu Tang record. I'm gonna sell it to a. T. Tech, the tech guy. Con that guy, and we'll let him enjoy it.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, for like, 6 million or something. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He must be dead by now. Fingers crossed.

[Chris Fleming]

I think I just saw him at church. I think I saw him. I think I saw him at the Elysian.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's clowning now.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, he was doing the stand up for clown show Chad Damiani was giving him. Actually taking it pretty easy on him. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What Was that guy's name Martin Shreckley?

[Chris Fleming]

That's exactly right. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Martin Shreckley.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, nasty character.

[Chris Fleming]

Even back then they were like, yeah, Shrekley.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How do we. I mean, we simply. I'll have another bite of cake to end the podcast.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah, yeah. We got to sage that for those. Listen for those. I don't even know if the cameras, the BMX bike cameras can pick up the way Bridger is eating the cake. Cake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going to the core, but it's. I'm in my drilling machine headed towards the center.

[Chris Fleming]

Obviously, we're not slicing the cake. We're eating it from the side with a spoon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What if you found out? This is how I always did and people just hadn't said anything to me yet. He never learned.

[Chris Fleming]

You eat the whole cake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, thank you for being here.

[Chris Fleming]

Oh, thank you for having me. This is honestly a ball.

[Bridger Weiniger]

God bless and listener. The podcast is now over. The turntable is spinning. I don't even know what happened. Oh, the ashtray is now full of passion fruit.

[Chris Fleming]

That's right. And a picture of Steven Spielberg.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The smallest little picture of Steven Spielberg.

[Chris Fleming]

A two by one print out of Spielberg looking, dare I say not. Camera ready.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely not. He was caught.

[Chris Fleming]

Can we zoom in on it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He opened the front door and somebody took the picture.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Just waking up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's not happy. He told you he didn't want solar panels.

[Chris Fleming]

I'm a director now. I do not need to be on camera.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, listener, the podcast is over five years. Hopefully we'll do it for at least another month. We'll see. You know, life is so fragile now. That's such a dark thing to say.

[Chris Fleming]

No, but you're saying it with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've got to enjoy ourselves with levity. Yes. We'll have plenty golden years.

[Chris Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The podcast is over. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Annelise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no Gifts. That's where you're going. To see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts? Well, I invited you here.

[Chris Fleming]

Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty handed. I said no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Girls young, my presence is presence enough.

[Chris Fleming]

And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me?

[Annelise Nelson]

Okay, so we all need to get away from the world sometimes. Well, in the all new 2025 Nissan Murano, you don't even have to go anywhere. The Murano is the getaway. Just picture it. The Bose premium sound system plays your favorite music as the Murano's massaging leather appointed seats melt away your stress. Yeah, that's a real getaway. Drive the all new 2025 Nissan Murano today. Bose and massaging leather appointed seats are optional.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Features Are you still quoting 30 year old movies?

[Chris Fleming]

Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places.

[Chris Fleming]

That take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase.

[Bridger Weiniger]

With your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report, PayPal lets you.

[Annelise Nelson]

Pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Annelise Nelson]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[Chris Fleming]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy. Ooh, yes, that's smart.

[Annelise Nelson]

Glad we can agree on something easily. Pool split and Send Money with PayPal get started in the PayPal app. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money. A balance account is required to create a pool.