Christine & Xandy Schiefer Disobey Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Christine & Xandy Schieffer Disobey Bridger"

I Said No Gifts! with Bridger Winegar
Release Date: February 5, 2026
Guests: Christine & Xandy Schieffer
Host: Bridger Winegar

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Episode Overview

In this episode of I Said No Gifts!, comedy siblings Christine & Xandy Schieffer (hosts of "Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet") join Bridger Winegar for a laughter-packed, winding conversation covering family trauma, German culture, Kentucky rivalries, cautionary childhood tales, table tennis drama, and more. As always, the guests break the show's only rule and bring a gift, sparking discussion about the darkly comedic German children’s book "Struwwelpeter." The episode is full of sibling banter, dark family stories, and humorous takes on life’s oddities.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Opening Banter & Life Updates

[00:55-02:30]

• Bridger opens with personal anecdotes (Dodger Charger rental, birds nesting at home, Patreon misadventures).
• The guests comment on birds as a threat and segues into ADHD speculation.

Cat Antics & Pet Stories

[02:31-05:13]

• Bridger’s cat, Juniper ("the Old God"), is revealed to have dark energy and a penchant for climbing on the roof:
  • “He’s lived many lives, I think. And he’s dark energy.” – Bridger [04:04]
  • The story of misnaming Juniper due to a gender misidentification by the vet.
• Light discussion of Juniper’s rescue origins from LA, now living in Kentucky/Ohio.

Kentucky vs. Ohio Rivalry

[05:16-11:16]

• Christine and Xandy explore the stigma of "living in Kentucky" and regional bordering, including Indiana.
• “When you grow up somewhere where Kentucky is looked down upon, and then your sister moves to Kentucky, you get very confused.” – Christine [05:31]
• Negative stereotypes flipped into humor, horse culture complaints, and recollections of near-disastrous childhood horse rides.

Cautionary Tales and Family Trauma

[11:17-18:33]

• The siblings discuss growing up in strict, German-American households with a Catholic school backdrop.
• Quick detour through their family's international adventures (horse riding in China, table tennis internships in Indiana and insurance company jobs in Ohio).
• Family dynamics: judgments rooted in upbringing, and adult therapy approaches to processing the family “weirdness.”

Aliens, C-SPAN, and Conspiracy Talk

[14:32-18:33]

• Hotel TV habits: C-SPAN, congressional hearings about aliens, and shifting beliefs due to persuasive testimony.
  • “Everything changed when Ohio got recreational weed. We went, OK, life’s a lot more fun. And so sometimes when we travel, we just sit in the hotel room and watch C-SPAN.” – Bridger [15:25]
• Banter about interdimensional beings and whether the government is hiding "alien tech" for weapons purposes.

Gift Segment: Struwwelpeter (Shock-headed Peter)

[23:21–33:54]

• Christine and Xandy present Bridger with "Struwwelpeter," a classic German book of cautionary tales for children.
• They recount the darkness of the stories and their influence on the siblings’ upbringing:
  • “This is how I learned not to suck my thumb. Because as you can see, his thumbs have been cut off.” – Bridger [26:32]
  • “It is a household of fear.” – Bridger [28:41]
• Discussion of the violence and memorable illustrations within “Struwwelpeter,” including a rabbit with a gun and a child set ablaze for playing with matches.
• Insights into the generational trauma and queerness in the family, particularly the complicated relationship with their German grandfather.

Family Stories: Grandpa, Lamps, and Sibling Revelations

[29:54–36:18]

• Tales of a notoriously curmudgeonly German grandfather, including:
  • Alarm systems for tracking grandchildren’s movements.
  • In-home pink urinals, general misogyny, and hidden envelopes of cash as tests of character.
• Reflections on the intergenerational effects of trauma: “He’s somehow still alive … taught me how to hate myself.” – Christine [34:31]

German Cultural Oddities & Children’s Media

[37:16-42:22]

• Introduction to German children’s puppet “Brot,” a clinically depressed loaf of bread (“Brot der Depression”).
• Bridger: “He has his own children’s show. It is for children. And he’s extremely depressed and has suicidal ideation.” [38:14]
• Lighthearted takes on German clubs, urinals, and European troughs.

Table Tennis, Sibling Sport Rivalries & Rule Enforcement

[42:23–47:44]

• Christine’s competitive table tennis background and Xandy’s journalism school documentary about the gw table tennis team.
• Libra/Gemini astrology banter:
  • “He’s a Libra, you know, he needs to know.” – Bridger [45:34]

Gift or a Curse Game

[51:33–61:53] A rapid-fire segment where the guests decide whether everyday scenarios are a “gift or a curse”:

1. [53:46] When the server boxes up your leftovers:
   • Christine/Xandy: “Gift,” Bridger judges: “No, curse.”
2. [55:56] Confirmation text boxes for passwords:
   • Christine/Xandy: “Curse,” Bridger: “Gift,” for the thrill and cruel joy.
3. [58:35] People dancing without shoes at weddings:
   • Christine/Xandy: “Curse”—both cite hygiene and safety; Bridger agrees.

• Bonus: Producer Ellis asks about Americans using military time [62:12]. All agree it’s a curse, especially when wielded smugly by Americans.

Listener Advice Segment: Five Cats, Two Cars, One Trip

[66:10-73:08]

• Hannah writes in about moving five cats from Georgia to Iowa.
• Advice includes using carriers, staying in pet-friendly hotels, bringing disposable litter boxes, and considering emotional resilience of cats.
  • “My advice is keep them in the carrier...” – Bridger [67:43]
• Final recommendation: “Put them on the bus. Just the cats…” – Bridger [70:09], followed by a joke about following the bus for added drama.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On German childhood books:
  “This is a book that taught me not to suck my thumb. Because as you can see, his thumbs have been cut off.” – Bridger [26:32]

• On family trauma:
  “I want to hear more about your grandpa.” – Bridger [31:27]

• On what aliens mean for society:
  “If this is all disclosed, the economy will collapse because there will no longer be any trust in government. It’s like, what are we talking about?” – Bridger [16:21]

• On competitive table tennis:
  “I would be the most annoying person to live if I was hired as a table tennis supervisor for films.” – Christine [43:21]

• On the in-home urinal:
  “An in-home urinal is always a red flag.” – Bridger [31:45]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:55] – Bridger’s intro; guest welcome
• [04:10] – “Dark energy” cat story
• [05:16] – Kentucky–Ohio rivalry begins
• [14:32] – C-SPAN and aliens chat
• [23:21] – Gift segment: “Struwwelpeter”
• [29:54] – German grandpa tales
• [38:14] – Depressed loaf-of-bread children’s show
• [43:54] – Table tennis documentary
• [51:33] – Gift or a Curse game starts
• [62:12] – Bonus: military time debate
• [66:10] – Listener mail: moving five cats

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Tone & Style

The episode leans into dark humor and absurdity, with each speaker exposing personal and familial quirks. Bridger matches the Schieffers’ banter with dry, deadpan wit, keeping the show both self-effacing and energetically offbeat. Throughout, the trio highlights the universality of sibling weirdness, childhood trauma, and cultural oddities—always with an undertone of compassion and self-mockery.

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Final Notes & Recommendations

• “Struwwelpeter” becomes a symbol for the episode: dark lessons, family tradition, and semi-horrifying yet beloved nostalgia.
• Christine & Xandy’s podcast “Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet” is recommended for fans of sibling comedy and funny negative reviews.
• If you're moving with cats: carriers, disposable litter boxes, and patience are key, but humor helps most.

Memorable Last Words:

“We are honored to pass on our generational trauma. Welcome to the family.” – Christine & Xandy’s gift note [50:34]

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This summary should provide any listener with a detailed, engaging understanding of the episode’s flow, tone, and best moments—even if you missed out on the original.

Transcript

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is exactly right.

[Bridger Weiniger (repeated intro)]

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no. Guess your presence is present enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare to survey me?

[Podcast Host]

Welcome to I said no gift. I'm Bridger Weiniger. I'm drunk as usual. We're here in the studio. What's happening? I saw some new birds in my house today, and I didn't let that stop me from getting here. My mom still has not returned my phone call from yesterday, so I assume we're over. Last week I had to rent a car. We rented a Dodge Charger. If you're not familiar with a Dodge Dodge Charger. It's kind of the car you buy to let people know that you have a jukebox in your basement. And so if anyone saw me driving, I was in the passenger seat. If you saw me driving around, that's the real me. No, we have the Patreon. Why do I always say like that, like it's a sad thing that we've got the Patreon. Join us on the Patreon. It's the we're having the time of our life. I just bought a dress from Whitney Rose on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. If you wanna see me in the dress, I mean that alone. Over on Patreon. I'm doing all kinds of things, Bonus episodes, et cetera. Come on over. Can we get into the podcast? I love today's guests. Everybody loves them. It's Christine and Zandi Schieffer. You're two welcomed. I said no gifts.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Thank you so much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Such an honor.

[Podcast Host]

You know, I have so much to talk about and so little to talk about. I don't know how you two are in town for just a few days.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Correct.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just do need to hear about the birds, though.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

What kind of in the house is that?

[Podcast Host]

No, they're outside the house. I think they're making a nest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a threat. It is what it is.

[Podcast Host]

It's an absolute threat to me. I was leaving to come to the podcast and I saw these birds and I thought, should I get up on the roof and deal with them now? And I thought, that feels like on the roof. That feels like not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I didn't know that was an oxygen. It's like a jump to 0 to 100.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, this crossed my mind. And I thought, well, no, I have a schedule. Listeners have tried to diagnose me with adhd and things like this where I'm like, oh, I'm supposed to be going to my job right now, and I'm thinking about getting on the roof to deal with birds. Could be a signal that there's something going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We would have understood if we had gotten a message like, there was a bird. I would have said, got it. Understood. No more words needed.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Her cat goes on the roof and she has to go chase after it. She doesn't go on the roof yet.

[Podcast Host]

What do you do when the cat's on the roof? Throw pebbles at it? Yeah, it's not a bad idea.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just mostly post about it and then get in big trouble with people who are like, I can't believe you would let your cat on the. I'm like, I didn't do it on purpose.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You're not putting it there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Put him there.

[Podcast Host]

People are getting after you. They're wagging their finger. Stop wagging your fingers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't wag at me.

[Podcast Host]

How often is the cat on the roof?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe he's saving me from all these birds nests that are allegedly being built in my vicinity. I don't know. Listen, he's just. He likes to be free.

[Podcast Host]

I feel like a roof is a perfectly natural place for a cat to be. Yeah. Cat on a natural. A hot tin roof.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've got a whole amazing cold slate roof. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

We've got theater based around the concept.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's beautiful, right? It must be interesting at some level.

[Podcast Host]

Is your cat an entirely outdoor cat?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, he's not supposed to be out there at all.

[Podcast Host]

He's really not causing problem.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, he's a big problem. He's lived many lives, I think. And he's dark energy. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Dark energy in what way?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Well, he's known as the old God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, he's just ominous based on his vibes. Oh, my little sister named him that when she was a kid. And we all went, oh, my God.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that's a scary thing to hear from a child.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We thought, well, you're not gonna mess with that. So, oh, boy. When he gets on the roof, it's none of my business. You.

[Podcast Host]

What's his name?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Juniper. We thought he was a girl, and then we didn't want to be transphobic. And then the vet was like, these are testicles. And we were like, oh, okay, well, we're not going to change the name. And then he became the old God. And now Juniper doesn't quite fit the.

[Podcast Host]

Vibe, but Juniper's a nice gender neutral name, I'd say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And it does feel a Little old goddess, in a way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

True.

[Podcast Host]

Kind of an old God of the American west or something.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Wow. Yeah. From la, I think. Right, Juniper?

[Podcast Host]

Is he a rescue from la?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

How did that happen?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We used to live there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, we used to live here. Oh, okay.

[Podcast Host]

I was there to get off a bus.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Where am I right now?

[Podcast Host]

We reveal we're in Las Vegas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We didn't live there. No, we've been there. No, we haven't lived there.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, so he was rescued from LA and then was dragged back to Ohio.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's where all the problems began.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay. Actually, Kentucky for her.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, she lives.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Technically, it's worse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Technically.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, boy.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I know we have to make that distinction because I don't want people to think I live in Kentucky, because I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He lives 10 minutes from me, but.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, right across the river.

[Podcast Host]

Wow. And this is a big problem between the two of you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So glad we're here to discuss it.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

When you grow up somewhere where Kentucky is looked down upon, and then your sister moves to Kentucky, you get very confused.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Shameful.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

My niece is from Kentucky.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Shameful.

[Podcast Host]

And she's trash. Kentucky trash.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's four years old and she's just.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Complete and utterly living under that tin roof. It's like it's dilapidated. Everything's terrible. It's just awful.

[Podcast Host]

I'm not familiar. I've never been to Kentucky. I want to hear some horrible things about Kentucky and then a couple nice things. What's so wrong with Kentucky?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What isn't going on in Kentucky?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Going to school in Cincinnati, growing up there, high school and everything. If you're from Kentucky for some reason, that's a negative. So you just kind of like. You just don't like it. Same with Ohio. Michigan, you're just born not to like it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Here's what I'll say.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Certain places, it's not good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a very limited perspective. And, like, after, you know, living in this expansive town of Los Angeles, I would have thought you'd, like, broaden your horizons a little bit. And we went to private Catholic school, which is a big part of our problems also.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I feel like. Like the fact that you're still judging where I live based on our outdated Catholic upbringing is a little problematic for me.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Also, I'm two years younger, so I'm still processing. My therapy's a little bit behind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Let me get there. Give me a little bit to catch up, please.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In the meantime, Kentucky's pretty boring. I don't know, there's horses and stuff.

[Podcast Host]

But Christine, as someone who lives in Kentucky. Say some bad things about Kentucky. You're the authority. And then say one good thing. What would you say is the true problem with Kentucky? I want to cause some trouble for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I thought the cat was going to be the biggest of my cancellations today. Now, the people. Oh, that's probably a bad start.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

You're, like, trying to be so careful about it, and then you're like, well, everyone. The human beings who live there are awful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, they're part of the problem, right?

[Podcast Host]

I don't know. The people are part of the problem. In every city.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fair enough.

[Podcast Host]

In every city.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fair enough.

[Podcast Host]

Is there is the. Let's see, what's something that could be bad that's not so tough?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The horses.

[Podcast Host]

Too many horses.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of horse culture.

[Podcast Host]

Horse culture.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not really my vibe.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

How often are you riding a horse growing up?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Certainly not too much.

[Podcast Host]

Too much, Too much.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Maybe twice, which is far too many.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's thinking about, like, ponies, I think. I don't know that we ever rode a horse.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It almost threw me off.

[Podcast Host]

Where was this?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Probably in Kentucky. I don't remember.

[Podcast Host]

This feels like a core memory. And you have no idea what happened?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No. I have a weird thing with my memories where I remember nothing from our childhood except for very specific things. And then she remembers everything and has to teach me what we went through as children. But I do remember the horse. I was on the back of a horse and there was a loud noise and the horse kind of, like, bucked.

[Podcast Host]

It got spooked.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. And I had to hold on for dear life, and I did, and I never rode a horse again.

[Podcast Host]

You were banned from horses?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I went vegan after that, actually. I was like, I can't. I gotta get on their good side. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And Christine, you've never been on a horse?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, apparently I have. I don't recall.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

She has been on a horse.

[Podcast Host]

I'm sure.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Weren't you on a horse in China?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

A horse in China. You went all the way to China to get on a horse?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was on the Silk Road and my dad. Our dad, so another whole thing. He took me to China one time with his business partners because they're all Chinese, and I didn't know what was going on because I don't speak Chinese.

[Podcast Host]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And we went to the Silk Road and they said, okay, now we're all getting on. Well, they didn't say anything. They said something in Chinese and then everyone climbed on a horse. And my dad was not. He forgot I was there. So I Kind of had to figure it out. And I got on a horse and then this old man fell off his horse, and it was very funny.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And I wasn't there. Yeah, I wasn't allowed to go. I was busy interning at an insurance company in Ohio and they said I.

[Podcast Host]

Would way prefer that on an international trip.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It was exciting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anyway, we're just processing a lot of trauma here today. I'm sorry.

[Podcast Host]

Where were the horses? Thank you for the apology. Where were the horses riding in China? Was it just like in a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We were going up, like, this mountain and they said, no cars allowed. And I said, okay. So I got on the horse and then Carl fell off it, and he had this back scratcher that he had bought at a market earlier that day, and he fell and broke his back scratcher. It was all very dangerous.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my God.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I was like, I don't remember that part.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I laughed. Remember? It wasn't that bad. Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But I'd laugh if he broke his back. I love Carl, but I'd laugh. I would laugh. I'm sorry.

[Podcast Host]

How long were you in China for?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, wow. That was like a long. Too long.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I think it was a couple weeks, right? It was like two weeks. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Wow, that sounds incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was in Shanghai for one day and I woke up the next morning and, like, blew my nose and it was all black like that. Because you breathe in the air.

[Podcast Host]

All right. Of course, one day and I went.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know if this is for me, my allergies. I'm too, like, fragile, you know? And then the horse situation, I thought, I can't. I can't make this work.

[Podcast Host]

I had a. I just. The only time I've been to China was a layover and I couldn't use social media. That was my big experience.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That part was weird, too.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Honestly, probably for the better. For those 30 minutes that I was just forced to be bored in China.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds traumatic as well.

[Podcast Host]

It was very difficult not being on Instagram.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Where were you going to Tokyo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, cool. Oh, that sounds cooler than my thing.

[Podcast Host]

No. Well, okay.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

China's a very careful Kentucky.

[Podcast Host]

Now you're hurt.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You are really offending us.

[Podcast Host]

You've now offended, like, over a billion people. A billion. And Kentucky. Ooh, that's tough. Okay, so I want to continue talking about this rivalry between Ohio and Kentucky.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

How often are, like, restaurant wise when you're going out to dinner because you're 10 minutes away. Do you ever go to Kentucky to go out to eat?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I do go to certain Cafes down there, certain lunch spots. I admit it. I do. I'm guilty of that.

[Podcast Host]

This sort of thing where you can just hop state to state is not familiar to me. It seems like such a fascinating experience that also means nothing.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We also have Southeast Indian that we. Oh, just another, like, 10 minutes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They call us the Tri State.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, the Tri State. Not a big course. We love the Tri State.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. I lived in New York briefly, and everyone's saying the Tri State. I'm like, that's not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're. That's Indiana.

[Podcast Host]

That's definitely Ohio State.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's horses there and stuff.

[Podcast Host]

Now none of us has any stake in Indiana, so we can all say something horrible about Indiana.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

I also haven't been there, so I can't really speak.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's probably the people.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's fine.

[Podcast Host]

It's the people of Columbia.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would argue.

[Podcast Host]

It's probably the people. The people from Indiana.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right. That's right.

[Podcast Host]

Just clip that, put it online, and cancel Hoosiers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's that all about?

[Podcast Host]

How often are you going to Indiana?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Never.

[Podcast Host]

Never?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No. I did an internship there where I would drive two hours, just one way to work for four hours, and then drive two hours back to Cincinnati.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was a cool record label, like another insurance company.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I got paid in record, so I didn't actually make any money.

[Podcast Host]

Which record label?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Joyful Noise.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, sure, of course. Insurance company. And then Joyful Noise again.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's part of all our problems.

[Podcast Host]

We're all over the world.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We sure are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. We could try diagnose you also with adhd, because we're pretty qualified for that, I think.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. We've diagnosed each other our entire lives.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We were always right.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Everything's right. Yeah. It's a lot of things. Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

How did you end up interning for an insurance company?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

My dad knew a guy.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, classic. Good, classic story.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And I ended up being on the floor with no other interns. I was on the licensing floor. And that just made me realize, oh, this was a favor. I don't really belong here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're not with the other interns.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And so I was the only one on that floor. And they gave me a bunch of work to do in Excel, and I did it all within a month. And I had two more months left, and they didn't know what to do with me, so they just gave me as much busy work as they could.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of Excel.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

She was. Meanwhile, she was in China, and I was there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sorry. You were invited.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I was in Cincinnati.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

My one internship, I was separated from the interns. Really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's, like, demoralizing.

[Podcast Host]

It's a very odd feeling. Initially, you're like, oh, I guess I'm special enough. And then you're like, oh, I'm just being tortured by my bosses because I have no one to relate to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now you're in the middle of both. And it's like, well, I don't belong.

[Podcast Host]

Anything I'm in no world no world.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Will have in limbo.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I was a floor below the rest, so that didn't help. Like, if I were a floor above, I'd be like, okay, I'm better. But I was not better.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They were up there, like, dancing. You could hear them.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. And they had special events, and Stu.

[Podcast Host]

And I didn't any of them because.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It was on a different floor.

[Podcast Host]

Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And you were. You had your nose to the grindstone.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And you were so hard because for my future in insurance, of course, you.

[Podcast Host]

Had to break into the insurance world, the glamorous world.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's how I ended up in la, obviously.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You two are just in LA for a few days. Are you doing anything fun while you're here?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mostly this.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The most fun.

[Podcast Host]

I was. I was fishing for that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Easy one. Easy, low ball. What else are we up to?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We like to stay in our hotel room.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Do you watch hotel tv?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, sometimes we watch C Span about aliens.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, that was great. That was a great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've been on a kick.

[Podcast Host]

Update me. I need alien updates. What's going on?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, you have no idea.

[Podcast Host]

I really don't.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I'm a little nervous to say it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're here.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The government knows of pilots and organic beings.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Somewhere. Our manager's having, like, a full. She's like, something's wrong. My clients are real.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Kentucky, pushing it. China now. Skunks, Outer space, all the aliens, everything in the universe. No, they have, like, testifying. These professionals testifying to what they saw that the government's covering up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everything changed when Ohio got recreational weed. We went, okay, life's a lot more fun. And so sometimes when we travel, we just sit in the hotel room and watch C Span.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But it's C Span, and they're talking about aliens. Real congressional hearings about aliens.

[Podcast Host]

We keep having these things. I feel like this is now an annual thing where someone who seems fairly with it is saying, I know about aliens. And then nothing happens. We don't see anything else about it. And we're all like, okay, then they're here. And then it changes literally nothing. And then we wait until the next year where Tom DeLonge shows back up in Congress. When do we get the photos or the videos or when do we get to talk to them?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Isn't that always a question?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those photos.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Maybe we already have. We just don't know it.

[Podcast Host]

Enough, enough. There's the teasing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know.

[Podcast Host]

The teaser campaign for aliens has gotta come to an end.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Trust me.

[Podcast Host]

I'm devastated. They're either here or they're not. Let's move on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's get it together.

[Podcast Host]

I saw a headline like a week ago that was like, if this is. If this is all disclosed, the economy will collapse because there will no longer be any trust in the government.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Right. Cause there's a lot of that. Right.

[Podcast Host]

It's like, what are we talking about? Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're all moved to gre.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's ridiculous.

[Podcast Host]

But I just don't. I. If there's evidence, then I just don't understand what's the end of. What's the end game here? Who. Like, what are they talking about right now on C Span? Like, what are they saying? Organic beings? Or is there like a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

With sentience?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But they said not. They are not. Like. I forget what they said.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're not extraterrestrial.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

They are. Oh. Because we don't know if they're from. Not of this earth.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're interdimensional.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Because they could be interdimensional.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And this guy says it on C span, and I'm like, okay. It's not the recreational. Really? This guy says on C Span, like, officer in the Army. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

They may be from another dimension or they may be from another planet. It feels more likely they're from another dimension.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels more.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We don't understand everything. I don't understand anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's there to understand? I understand most things, but not this.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And yet they've. Whoever's experienced them. It really has changed nothing. Except for they get to be on C Span.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. Right.

[Podcast Host]

What else is perfected?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I don't know. They got to meet AOC. AOC was there. That was cool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tom DeLonge probably, too.

[Podcast Host]

He's probably at least in the audience or something. I just. I'm so mystified by the entire thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's mystifying.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I think. Yeah. The government, I think is. They claim that the government's withholding because of certain technologies that they're gaining access to, and they don't want other countries to gain access to certain technologies. I sound so ridiculous. I sound insane right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

By the way I'm usually the woo right now, I'm usually the woo woo one. And when I showed him the C span, he went down a rabbit hole and I went, oh, I probably shouldn't have sent him down there.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But before that I would have been like, this is all bullshit. And then I watched one thing like two hours of C span. I was like, I'm in 100%. But yeah, they think they have certain weapons technology, et cetera, that they want to be able to use and they don. Want other people to use.

[Podcast Host]

But it's all like four tightly. I mean like the, the biggest secret keepers on earth have access to this because I just don't believe, like we have the biggest blabber mouth in the world in control of the country. Like, why? I just feel like somebody would have leaked it by now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're sending him on side quests, like Greenlands. I think they're just like, go like play outside. And he's playing outside right now bullying everybody. And it's like, meanwhile the grownups are keeping the secrets. Listen, I don't know.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just like if I knew, I feel.

[Podcast Host]

I would be telling everybody I know.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I don't know how you'd keep that a secret.

[Podcast Host]

I'd be using this great technology, whatever it is. What is it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're all podcasters. I think we're the last people they would give the secrets of the alien universe to.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But I think the technology that I would want is. Have you ever played the Sims?

[Podcast Host]

Of course.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

In the Sims they have those showers where you just walk in and it just cleans your body and it's like these things. That's what I want. I don't want get wet. I just want to like go in and be clean.

[Podcast Host]

I would want the Sims technology. When you pee your pants, you're suddenly in just a giant puddle and you're crying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I think that's happened to you naturally.

[Podcast Host]

No, usually it's a much slower thing. I'm in the airport, my pants are wet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Always messier than.

[Podcast Host]

I'm looking for a place to switch clothes. But the Sims or the like having a baby by like crawling around under the sheets of your bed. That feels.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would make the whole process a lot easier.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. What other things do the Sims do? Yeah, they get trapped in rooms, they forget to eat.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And there was a whole dumpster diving, like expansion.

[Podcast Host]

It was a dumpster diving.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. I made a character after her and who just all. Everything that she got was out of the dumpster.

[Podcast Host]

She Lives in Kentucky.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

What are we talking?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Tin roof on her dumpster? Like.

[Podcast Host]

Do either of you still play the Sims?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Sometimes. It's probably been at least a year, but definitely within the past couple years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That was a huge source of conflict between my sister and I when it was, you know, because we had one computer and it was highly addictive, and, you know, it just led to fight after fight after.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, the drama. Are you older or younger?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Older.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And less immature.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. Yeah, I know what that's like.

[Podcast Host]

So there was a. Was there fighting between you about the Sims or.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was fighting between us about everything? Yeah, everything.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But. So, yeah, definitely computer time. I'm sure. I played a lot of Runescape, so that was pretty important to me.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mocked a lot of Runescape.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. That feels like an easy tar, really.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That I played more recently than the Sims, actually.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Okay. Did you. I ask this of people a lot. Do you. Did you ever have physical fights as siblings? As, like, kids?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting. Cause my friend just asked, when was the last time you punched someone? I went, honestly, it was probably my brother. Like, as children, I don't know.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I spit in her hair once.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He spit in my hair. And my mom laughed, and I've never gotten.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Because she was telling me not to spit in her hair. And I was like, but what if I did?

[Podcast Host]

And then I did, and now I've got a great idea.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. And I did. Our mom thought it was hilarious. No, that was bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I call that physical aggression.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, that was bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That was pretty rough. I mean, it was like. I was, like, 21 at that point.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, 21. Okay, now this is tough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God, you scared me. I was like, that can't be true. We were children.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I feel like our physical fights probably stopped at around 12.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I think that's when we got it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Together a little bit.

[Podcast Host]

But, yeah, I ask because I remember my siblings and I frequently physically fighting, pulling hair. Pulling hair, pinching, wrestling on the floor. Not so much, like, punching in the face, but there was, like, a weird animalistic physicality to it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Housing.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And you were mad at each other, trying to hurt each other, which is so crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you probably could have, like, now that I think about it, I'm like, I probably shouldn't have.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, you probably shouldn't have. I agree, actually. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Well, I mean, speaking of physically fighting and just wanting to hurt people, the podcast is called I said no Gifts. You two are podcasters. I would think of you as professionals. First mistake I was Looking forward to. I make a lot of them. I was looking forward to being here today. And then I come to the studio, I get here, Ellis, our producer, comes in, kind of pulls me aside and says, I'm so sorry, they have a gift. I asked Ellis to step out, I closed the door, just did some breathing exercises, and now we're here. You brought a gift to the podcast? Yeah. Sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We said we wouldn't apologize.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I mean, apologize.

[Podcast Host]

I'm not sorry. Sibling. Sibling promise.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

My bad. Cut that out. Honestly, it's kind of a plus for us and a gift for us because we're getting the chance to share our culture with you. It's a cultural gift. It's more of like a cultural exchange.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, sure.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I mean, I wouldn't say exchange because we don't get much in return. Here. I got a nice coffee. I'll take it. But we at least are sharing our culture with you.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, well, that's a horrible excuse, but I'm happy to open it here on the show.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay. Might as well.

[Podcast Host]

It's in this kind of beautiful brown bag. It's lying flat on the table with an exciting tissue coming out of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right.

[Podcast Host]

Hand it to me and I'll open it here on the show. This is embarrassing for all of us.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It is, it is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I got a little ahead of myself.

[Podcast Host]

I hope no one has their volume up too loud.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Somebody's dog is whining.

[Podcast Host]

Windows are shattering.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's all our fault.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, I'm reaching. Oh, this one tissue.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We gotta get them all out.

[Podcast Host]

Good. Okay. Reaching it. Oh, it's a book. Okay. Whoa. I don't even know how to pronounce this. I'll try though. Strew. Well, Peter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pretty good.

[Podcast Host]

Let me try to do that. Strufelpeter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's very good. Yeah. So we grew up German, and this was one of our childhood books that was read to us. It's cautionary tales. Have you heard of these things?

[Podcast Host]

I mean, are they essentially like fairy tales, but someone dies at the end?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Extremely dark.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

A lot of children die.

[Podcast Host]

Right. For the listener. It's a beautiful cover. And also horrifying. It's yellow. It has the difficult word to pronounce, and then essentially the most evil woman alive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it's a man.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that's a man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's stofl. Petra.

[Podcast Host]

Shock headed.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Peter. I think that's the translation. Translation, Peter. Oh, I can't translate that any more than that. I don't know what it means, but.

[Podcast Host]

He'S got like a. He's got a lot of hair. That's shocking. Coming at it. And then very long fingernails. He's wearing essentially a tunic with a. It's a snappy tunic with a belt.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Correct.

[Podcast Host]

Cinched at the waist and very short legs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. I think they kind of got excited about all the other stuff.

[Podcast Host]

Low center of gravity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

This guy, you gotta.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

What? So is he like the protagonist of this guy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He'll come for you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

He will.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, he's terrifying.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, no, he's a threat. I think the first story is just him, and then the rest are all completely different. So I think he's only in the first story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you want to look at page 13, that's the page that I think gives the best visual description of the kind of stories in here.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I love it. It's a new book, so I love turning those pages.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's from a local bookstore. Oh, which bookstore?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I'm not familiar.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's in Pasadena, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I know that place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I made my producer go buy it for me because we were at the hotel watching and I went, pick up some gift wrap too, please.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. Cause she forgot her copy at home.

[Podcast Host]

That's how I buy all of my gifts. Ellis, I need a gift for my mom. Okay. This is page 13. Oh, this is his origin story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, this is a totally different. So we've already moved pasta. He's just the main. The first story, and then the rest are just different. Children misbehaving. This is how we learned not to. This is how I learned not to suck my thumb. Because as you can see, his thumbs have been cut off.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Little Suckathumb.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Little suck a thumb.

[Podcast Host]

That's his name. Suckathumb.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And his thumbs were cut off by that tailor.

[Podcast Host]

See the blood, of course. The tailor with kind of a scissor that you would do for a grand opening of a grocery store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, a car dealership.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But now he has no thumbs left.

[Podcast Host]

And is this like. Are they just very short stories?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, just like little cute poems.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Cute is not the word I'd use for any of these.

[Podcast Host]

I want to see some of the other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Does this give you insight into kind of our whole thing?

[Podcast Host]

Are these just read to German children like it's a normal thing? Yeah, I mean, it's probably a good for kids.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Originally we read this originally the author wrote it as a gift for his son, three year old. And his buddy was like, dude, this is amazing. You got to publish this. This is 1865 or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's like, this shit is Gold.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The people will love this. And they did. The Germans did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The German people.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The German people.

[Podcast Host]

Wow. This person's emotional abuse has now become a publishing phenomenon.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It went viral for the day. And it's still kind of. They still sell it in Pasadena.

[Podcast Host]

Pasadena. It made it all the way to sunny Southern California. Surf's up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Beautif.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, so, I mean, the kids here.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Could use it if you ask me, but I don't know.

[Podcast Host]

It looks like someone's falling into the water and drowning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right. Someone catches on fire too.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, the woman with the cats. Yeah. She was playing with matches and the cats were like, don't do that. And then she caught on fire and they were like, lesson learned. We told you so.

[Podcast Host]

These are like, dumbass.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Meow, meow. I told you so.

[Podcast Host]

Let's see here about the author. We don't care yet. I just want to see various children learning their lessons.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I do like the hair. The one you're looking at now.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, the hair. This is a nice revenge tale.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, the next page is even better.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a rabbit with a gu.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The rabbits shoot the gun while wearing the glasses of the hunter.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, he gets into smoking a cig or something.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The last frame, I want a tattoo of that rabbit. That's my goal.

[Podcast Host]

That's amazing. And not only does he shoot the hunter, he shoots him to death. And the hunter falls into a well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now the whole village is poisonous because the water is not gonna happen.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I was gonna say. Oh. So the lesson is for the whole village.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's my new. That's my new expansion on this story.

[Podcast Host]

Stop drinking unfiltered water.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You never know.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

This is. We were raised in a household of fear. Are both of your parents German? Okay. Do you speak German?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Uh huh.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Wow. Not much. I don't want to.

[Podcast Host]

Were you born in Germany?

[Bridger Weiniger]

We were born in Cincinnati. Like our parents met in very Ohio story, but they met in Cincinnati as two German people were like, well, I guess we'll get married. And then.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Then two years later they were like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, I guess we shouldn't have done that.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Let's stop that one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Then they. Yeah. Anyway, so our step parents are American. So our sister was raised with like a relatively normal, you know, kind of context. And we were raised really. So sometimes we.

[Podcast Host]

It's a total darkness, complete and utter darkness.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Catholicism.

[Podcast Host]

Plus with this bullshit, just real violent, evil German tales.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Plus Kentucky, like 10 minutes down the road. It's like threats at every corner. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Do you visit Germany Often.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We used to.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's been like a couple years, but. Yeah, like every couple years, maybe, like, we have the option to go more regularly, but we're not as close with our extended family.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're healing a lot as the rest of us.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Our little sister, like, she'll go with our cousins, she's closer with them, and we're like, have fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've kind of put a little space between.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I lived with my grandpa, our grandpa for six months, German grandpa. Absolute hell. It was hell on earth. And my mom, who was raised by this man, was like, what? And then she tells me all these stories and I'm like, you knew? He's a terrible person to live with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, can I give her one little fun anecdote on that time?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Please.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He went to his room at our grandpa's house. Our grandpa famously just doesn't like people or children or women. So he had seven daughters, so that went well. And then my brother went to live with him for a while. And one day my brother was in his room and saw an envelope full of cash.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And it was underneath the radiator, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of money under the radiator.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And I went to go get it and I was like, oh, my God. I don't know how much it was, but it was like thousands of euro. And I'm like, what the hell? So I gave it to him, and then he gave me a reward of, I don't know, €100 or something. He's like, oh, good. He was testing me. The fucking year, though. You look like.

[Podcast Host]

And I'm like, whoa, this is straight out of this book.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. And I'm like, what did he expect? I'm not that dumb. It was also over a month after I moved in. As if I wouldn't see a thing of cash lying on the floor under the radiator.

[Podcast Host]

What scenario is he setting you up for there? Was he afraid you were going to take something from him?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. But. Well, okay, this might give a little insight. He put an alarm outside my door. So whenever I walked by, it was a motion sensor. It would make a loud ding dong so he could hear when I left my room and came back.

[Podcast Host]

Whoa.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

He was not a good person to live.

[Podcast Host]

I want to hear more stories about this person. Oh, God. Was there anything good happening at this cottage? I assume it's a cottage.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It is not. It's a very, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a pink house.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Large old pink house. My bathroom was, like, completely pink tiling. It had a urinal in there, too. Like, you've installed urinals in, like, all the bathrooms.

[Podcast Host]

An in home urinal is always a red flag.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, it was one of those things where once I used it, I was like, I can get used to this.

[Podcast Host]

I could get used to this, but.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I never want to install this much like that seems I don't want people to come into my bathroom and be like, oh, there's a urinal there. That's.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, like, not liking women. That's such a thing. It's like, well, I'm going to install a toilet specifically for men to you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

In my very pink bathroom. It's great.

[Podcast Host]

It's a lot of mixed messaging in grandpa's house.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, he was. He's not a nice man. He's somehow still alive. I don't know how he feels like he thinks that probably based on just me living with him. But no, he was. We would, like, go sit in cafes and people watch. I mean, he was mostly, like, complaining about the youths and whatnot. But we had some good times just, like, hanging out. It was usually when we weren't talking that it was really good.

[Podcast Host]

Sure, that makes sense.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's usually the best.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But his children, his daughters like him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no.

[Podcast Host]

No one likes this guy.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's complicated. Well, some the favorites, you know, they play each other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He has one son named after him who's the 14th of the lineage. 14. Let's just say there's some complicated. Speaking of sibling dynamics. Yeah, I don'. That seven of them could. Eight of them could start a podcast. It would be really bad.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

So wait, there are eight children total. He had seven daughters in a row and was like, I've got to have someone to play baseball with or whatever.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He actually had a son somewhere in the middle, and then like, oops, they accidentally had more daughters.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, yeah. I don't know what he is, but he's like one of the third youngest, maybe. I don't know. Is he? I don't actually know. I don't really care.

[Podcast Host]

I do. I want to get to know this guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Am I allowed to say the other part or.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, I do not care. So never mind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I probably shouldn't say it.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

What?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, he's also gay. He's.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, our grand. Oh, you shouldn't say that. He.

[Podcast Host]

Wait, Grandpa's gay? Yeah, well, pink bathroom. That was assumed.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Thank you much. Like. Like, I didn't realize I was bisexual until, like, two years ago because of internalized homophobia, like Catholicism. That man was raised in Nazi Germany, Like, I can't even imagine the shit.

[Podcast Host]

Right?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But he's a total asshole.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, so you just like both sides. You're like, well, obviously you're. You've had extremely wild and traumatic upbringing. But also like, hey, I'm gonna not be part of this.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, maybe not. Oh, he would. And when I worked for him in his lamp store. Oh, that's a fun fact.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. He's one of the oldest lamp stores in the country.

[Podcast Host]

Right? This is all adding up. Grandpa's a giant.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. He was an. Especially to customers. There were, like, negative reviews, and they were all negative.

[Podcast Host]

He was pretty Yelp. I mean, it was writing. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was missives in that. Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Martin Luther, like, he, like, nailed a review on the door. It was the whole thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So the 11 pieces.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, it was something. But, yeah. No, he's. He's an interesting man. That taught me a lot.

[Podcast Host]

I love this guy.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

How to hate myself. Yeah. He would come every day in, like, the break room. He'd complain about my family, my sister, my. Oh, my stepdad. He does not like our stepdad. Our stepdad stood up to him once. They've never seen each other.

[Podcast Host]

What was the disagreement?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It was something about my mom. Like, he was defending my mom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My mom said, oh, I never got the books I wanted when I was a child. And then everybody started erupting. And then a chair. My stepdad threw a chair. And my now husband, I don't know what he was thinking. We were dating back then, and he stuck around for some reason, but he witnessed all this. And he's like, I think we should go. So we had to, like, leave out the back door. Cause they were throwing furniture. And the next morning they're like, hey, are you guys coming over for breakfast? And we stopped by and everyone was just, like, drinking coffee. And I was like, I can't live like this. I can't live like this. Chair throwing, it's very dramatic.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And our stepfather, he's like a very mild mannered, like, very, like, soft spoken man.

[Podcast Host]

And he was driven to that.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. And I don't blame him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Driven to madness.

[Podcast Host]

Jerry Springer level. Hell, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was Jerry Springer.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's still a little funky. They still use it, but it's like one where you sit on it and you're like, whoa, that leg's about to give out.

[Podcast Host]

And it's now got this memory tied to it. Anytime you sit in that chair, it's dark. Flashbacks.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's great. It's great.

[Podcast Host]

What sort of books did your mom want? As a child, probably.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That one.

[Podcast Host]

This one. Oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that's probably the only one.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

She was really into, like, American West.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, spaghetti Western.

[Podcast Host]

Europeans love spaghetti Western.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They love the Wild west situation. Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

They love white people being Native Americans in media.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, yes. They love an Italian as a Native American.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's their favorite. Yeah, it's great.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

So, yeah, she was really into the US and then ended up moving when she was, like, 18.

[Podcast Host]

Obsessed.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

She loved pop music.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I bet she's a Billy Idol. As a Billy Idol. She likes Billy Idol. She likes Tiesto, too, though.

[Podcast Host]

Wait, I don't know. I'm not familiar with.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Tiesto is a DJ from, like, the mid-2000s. We would. We would play, like. We would play, like, Tiesto cassettes in my mom's, like, Volkswagen DJ Cabriolet, and we'd just be, like, driving around town blasting this, like, techno music.

[Podcast Host]

And Tiesto is an American dj?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I don't think so. I have no idea where Tiesto's from.

[Podcast Host]

You're listening to Tiesto in your Cabriolets.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are you talking about here? He's Dutch.

[Podcast Host]

He thinks he's Dutch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a red flag.

[Podcast Host]

That all makes more sense as a Dutch situation.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Feels tough.

[Podcast Host]

That is not Kentucky that we're talking about. Not Ohio.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's not really welcome. Yeah. Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Wow, what a childhood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're gonna have to go back to our room after this and just kind of, like, meditate or something. We're bringing up a lot of.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Nah, we're used to it. We always talk shit about something in our family every time we hang out.

[Podcast Host]

I worked with a German in high school, and he would always talk about me looking like a character from some German illustration. Does this sound familiar at all? That Slept in a matchbox.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh.

[Podcast Host]

Which I would love to do.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels like an insult, but not like it feels.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I mean, it's like the sort of thing.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Insult.

[Podcast Host]

But I would admire the idea. I love a mouse's house. Getting to sit on a spool of thread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's charming.

[Podcast Host]

You know, sweeping with a piece of grass, that kind of thing. But this isn't a familiar book to you?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, there's a mole. There's, like, this little mole.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, I love that mole.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Digs around in the ground.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

They love their characters over. They have so many weird little characters.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. It's hard to.

[Podcast Host]

And most of them seemingly end up dead or violently.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, they had it coming.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Have you met Bant Dasbrolt?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who's this? This Is a famous character.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

He's a puppet.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, loaf of bread.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Loaf of bread. Who has depression. That's what I was picturing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's on a children's show.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Banta's pulled in. He's burnt the bread, and he's on it. He has his own children's show. It is for children. And he's extremely depressed and has suicidal ideation. And that's the whole bit. And so he's just. They replay these clips and he's just depressed, Just wallowing. Yeah. And he doesn't want to, like, get up, and he doesn't really want to open the blinds.

[Podcast Host]

Now, is this biological or circumstantial?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think a bit of both, probably.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

A bit of both.

[Podcast Host]

I think he's kind of writing bread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And he's kind of writing his own future a little bit. He has this very furrowed brow. He's just really going through it, and it's sort of like, why are we. We having children? Kind of look up to as guys. It's a strange culture.

[Podcast Host]

The kid's love.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. He's relatable. Like, he tells him.

[Podcast Host]

He tells.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mixed with, like, Eeyore. Like, I think an Oscar. Cause he's like. Yeah, he doesn't really like people, but it's because he's, like, just really going through some things, you know?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's in a band too, I think.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, that sounds right. I wouldn't be surprised.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He goes on tour and stuff.

[Podcast Host]

German industrial band or something like that.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, yeah. In the warehouses.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Good stuff. Good times.

[Podcast Host]

Have you ever been to a club in Germany?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I wouldn't get in. No way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I honestly. You might get in just because you so wouldn't get. Do you know what I mean? Like, sometimes these are, like, you're trying too hard, you know, you think you're gonna get in. And so I feel like somebody.

[Podcast Host]

We're gonna teach you a lesson, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're gonna be punished. Get in the club. I lived in Berlin for a while.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Did you live in Berlin?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I did, yeah. And my. I always said, oh, I'm really actually very busy tonight. When people said, we're gonna go to that big.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

What was the Berghain. Bergha.

[Podcast Host]

Wow. To actually say it, like a drink. German. Berghain. That's the most famous one of all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. We read reviews of it on our show. We read reviews on our podcast, by.

[Podcast Host]

The way, and you read reviews of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It and people complaining that they didn't get in. It's very delightful.

[Podcast Host]

I'm sorry. That is not a Yelp review. You can't complain about not getting in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Actually, you can. You can complain about anything.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I'm aware. I see you out of a job. No, you're here about the complaints. Once you've got it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, you're right. You're right. Those are fun, too, because then you're.

[Podcast Host]

Like, what the hell were the bad experience?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, just, like, a lot of performative.

[Podcast Host]

Erotica, probably a lot of things happening around the urinal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of urinal talks.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's a trough.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, yeah. The Europeans and their troughs.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Like Wrigley Field kind of thing.

[Podcast Host]

Love this stuff. The trough situation.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I kind of like the troughs.

[Podcast Host]

Well, you go to the fair.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You know what? Something about it, it's, like, efficient.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You had that one pink urinal, and now you're just all about a trough.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I mean, look, ye. Like I said, I wouldn't install a urinal. I would install a trough in my bathroom.

[Podcast Host]

You love the sound of pee on metal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, it's, like, productive. It feels productive, you know, Like, I want to be able to hear that I'm doing something productive.

[Podcast Host]

It's percussive.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It is.

[Podcast Host]

Ultimately, it is.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But the room matters. That's important.

[Podcast Host]

Right? Right. Okay. So people are just having, like, probably weird encounters in Berghain. I'm now an official on Berghain. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hell, yeah. No, I've never been. Never. Never tried?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, never.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was able to. I was invited to go by our cooler, older cousin, but I just was. I bailed.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

So I played Magic. The Gathering in Berlin. That's what I. Oh, I thought you.

[Podcast Host]

Were going to say you played it in Berghain.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Honestly, they probably do that again.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They'd probably let you in.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

They'd probably, like, be into that. Weirdly, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That brings, like, a new thing to the club.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Just a little magic. The gathering table in the corner.

[Podcast Host]

You're not just there to do Molly or whatever or.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Why not both. You can do both. That's what I did when I went and played magic.

[Podcast Host]

I actually feel like that's more of a cocaine place. What do you think? I wonder what drugs are you doing there? This is why I can't get in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. I have no idea. I don't know. I don't know.

[Podcast Host]

There's probably some exclusive club to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The drugs have, like, nicknames for everything that, like. Well, clearly, they. They like to kind of brand their.

[Podcast Host]

Germans are so good with words, let's be honest. They have so many amazing words for different experiences. Yeah, that's Our most famous. What are. There's some other kind of. In the category of schadenfreude. Right. I'm trying to think of that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Zeitgeist.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, zeitgeist is such a good word. So neither have you been to a German club?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've been to, like, a German club, but not, like, as cool as that.

[Podcast Host]

Right. More bar agencies than I imagined.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, they do, like, I didn't like.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Dancing at a bar in Durham, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In Berlin, they try to make everything weird. So even the, like, kind of Off Broadway, off Berghain, like, clubs have, like, alien, like, creatures on the ceiling. Like, this weird. They're funky, you know, they like to be funky over there. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Are you. Oh, go ahead.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I was going to say, I also played a lot of table tennis when I was there.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, interesting. Marty Supreme.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. Oh, I haven't seen it.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I haven't.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I didn't even know it was about table tennis until, like, reviews started coming out. I was like, oh, this looks right up my alley.

[Podcast Host]

But table tennis heavy.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Also very judgmental of table tennis media because I played competitively in college. I don't want to brag, but yeah. And so when I see these, like, shows, and I'm like, that's not how the ball moves. And also, it's not how the rules work. They like it on their side so much. I'm like, that doesn't work well.

[Podcast Host]

You've got to go and certify it.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You know what? That should be a job. Someone like. It's like some sort of script coordinator, but supervisor, but it's for table tennis.

[Podcast Host]

Specifically, the most annoying person to ever live.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And it would be me. And I would be very, very good at it. I would be so good at that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I once made a documentary about his competitive table tennis team at college. Yeah, we went to college in D.C. and I had a class. I studied journalism, broadcasting, and I had a class on sports media. And I went, I'm not really equipped for this. And they said, well, you have to do it. You have to find a. Do a final project. And my brother had just joined a table tennis club at gw, so I said, okay, I'll do a sports documentary. And I went to their competition in Maryland.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

University of Maryland. Yeah. All lost.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was really dramatic. And I made it. I turned it into kind of more of like a. Like a Bravo adjacent. I mean, it was great, though, from my perspective 20 years ago. But it was like this guy Neil was, like, feeling down, and he was kind of starting to cry, and Then my brother was all mad because nobody was following the rules. And I got all the kind of drama. And then my teacher was like, this is not about sport. And I'm like, I know, but it's, like, better, you know, And I gotta be.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It was pretty good.

[Podcast Host]

That feels like an A to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

That's an original take on a bunch of annoying losers like everyone else did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bad.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, no, no, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The. It's exactly right. That was the name of the documentary. What an interesting take on a bunch of losers.

[Podcast Host]

Do you still have the documentary?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I ended up removing it from YouTube because someone found it.

[Podcast Host]

It was so racist.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, honestly, at this point, I'm like, I don't know. What if I went standby? Whatever I said 15 years ago, I know there's a lot of zooming in on my brother's face.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. It would be, like, people talking about, like, oh, like, we got to take this seriously. And then. And it's like me being all serious. And then the guy who was, like, kind of the clown of it all was trying to make everyone laugh, but then he was, like, taking it pretty seriously.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, boy.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But, like, didn't want people to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That he disappointed himself.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

There was something there. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I tell you what. I had some. I had some.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The confessionals were great.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I only imagine she would take.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Us aside and, like, just ask us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Questions like, what do you really feel about my brother? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And I was. I'm the one who was like, they're not taking this seriously enough. I need them to focus. And then I lost every single game I played. I didn't win a single game.

[Podcast Host]

You were focused on the wrong thing. You should have just got. Gotten in there and been part of the game rather than criticizing.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I learned a lesson Again.

[Podcast Host]

Learning a lesson.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's a Libra, you know, he needs.

[Podcast Host]

To know Libra here as well. Very big rule.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel a little threatened a little bit.

[Podcast Host]

What are you, Gemini? I knew it. I knew it. I have it written on a piece of paper. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Check your pocket.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, boy. Do you stay in touch with anybody from the table tennis team?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No. I did see someone. We. We saw someone who, like, on tour. We were in Philadelphia, and someone who I played on the team with reached out. Dustin. And he lives there. And he came and I got to see him for the first time in years, and it was really fun. But, no, I don't have any friends from college. Like, all of the years of college Right.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We were in some dark places.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I was not very good at that. I'm still not very good at that old friends thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's tough.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's tough.

[Podcast Host]

I'm not good at the table tennis thing. I don't think I've ever successfully hit a ping pong ball over.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have that in common, too.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Compared to me, I mean, it would be. You have interdimensional technology compared to us. It's humiliating for me.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I bought my own paddle, so that alone is like.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, good for you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

Do you have to, like, get it fit to your hand?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, but there are different. So you get the blade and then you get the blade. Two sides. Yeah. The blade is like what? You get the wooden, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right, let's relax.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Without the soft parts on it. And then you put the soft parts. You can have different, like, amounts of spin, amounts of power, and they grippy different, like, grip different.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Bounciness or whatever.

[Podcast Host]

What's the official title for the soft parts?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I haven't. I should know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The giblets.

[Podcast Host]

The giblets. The blade and giblets. Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You cover the blade with giblets. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's accurate.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Do you have a table at home?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, I haven't played in years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He lived in New York City, so.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I. Yeah, they did have, like. They have like these pong pods or ping pod. I don't know. They have a location where you can go and rent a table and it's like 247 and you go and enter a code and just go in and play. So I've done that a couple times.

[Podcast Host]

Very bird with Berghain.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very. Yes.

[Podcast Host]

You have to be let in with my ex.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, boy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Who else?

[Podcast Host]

That was probably the end of it for you. Yeah. This 24 hour ping pong club, it's.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

One of those things, like, when you see me do something like that, it's like, oh, this is not who I thought he was. You know, I think she saw a side of me that she didn't like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, your ex.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And just raw sexuality, I assume.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. It was too much. It was too much to handle. I really. I really think that's what it was. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's too bad. Glad you get to set the record straight, though. On the podcast.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Wow. Well, is there anything left to say about. Let me try again now. I'm going to really try. Shrupen Peter Struvelpeter. Strufel. Peter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you look at the first page, it describes him like, just In a visual sense.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, let me see.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It might not be the first page, but it has his image in color. And I think. I think that you'd be remiss to not see the full color.

[Podcast Host]

First page has got a gorgeous angel and beautiful children. Oh, here we go. Oh, and there's a note. Well, let's first look at this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is the devil Shock headed Peter.

[Podcast Host]

That's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He does have a low center of gravity now that I can't unsee it now.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, he's all torso.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's got thick torso.

[Podcast Host]

But it says, just look at him. There he stands with his nasty hair and hands. See, his nails are never cut. They are grimmed as black as soot. And the sloven, I declare, never once has combed his head. This is a hit piece. Anything to me is sweeter than to see shock headed Peter. Who, like, what perspective? Whose perspective is that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what I don't understand. It's like, is that. Am I gonna become him? Am I perceiving him? Like, what's my kind of.

[Podcast Host]

And Peter never gets a fair deal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. And it's like, well, maybe he's never taught to comb his hair.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Let us get to know him first. Give us neutral facts rather than this whole editorial idea nastiness.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Seems a little biased.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Cause I've only heard, like, before reading this book, I had heard that he was like a really nice guy, pretty.

[Podcast Host]

Decent person, good hang, super good at tabletops.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I heard nothing bad about him until this book came out.

[Podcast Host]

And now everything's changed.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And now it's like, okay, we're focusing on the nails. It doesn't feel right to me.

[Podcast Host]

The nails are tough. I mean, it's like that lady. Do you remember the lady?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I remember that lady.

[Podcast Host]

We don't have to say anything else.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Cornwall Picture, the lady thinking of opening, like in his book of world records, shiny holographic sleepless nights.

[Podcast Host]

I think those all broke off in a car accident. Oh, no, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Which again, feels like you get in from your car.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It feels right. Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's a cautionary tale.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why is she driving too?

[Podcast Host]

I think she was driving. Probably trying to change the radio with those things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Trying to turn the. No, no.

[Podcast Host]

Imagine that being the thing people know about you and then them breaking off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In a car accident and being like. Well, that's. It's like when people who do sports, like, break their leg and they're like, I'm done. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I'm nothing.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, My God, nothing's dark.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Jesus.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, let's look at this note. It says, dear Bridger, we are honored to pass on our generational trauma. Welcome to the family, Christine and Zandy. Yeah, it does feel a little bit like the ring. Ring adjacent, I would say.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's your problem now.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. This evil person. I'm shocked. This hasn't been a movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Movie. It has, apparently. Well, I googled it earlier and it said, oh, that's been made into a theater play called Shock Headed Peter.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then I think it's been adapted into a movie. I don't know. That's what the American.

[Podcast Host]

One of those movies that you would get at red box in 2007, and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Then it just kind of disappears from bargain bin. Yeah, Bargain bin situation.

[Podcast Host]

Well, I'm writing the movie next. Nobody steal that from me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love it.

[Podcast Host]

We love IP.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That Heinrich. 1860s IP. Of course, his friend knew it was a gold mine.

[Podcast Host]

You know, of course.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We gotta get this media empire.

[Podcast Host]

He's the original annoying executive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

I think we should play a game.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I love games.

[Podcast Host]

We're going to play gift or a curse. How would you say that in German?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, good question. Geschenk is gift. Geschenk. Okay. Which sounds like a ga. Schenk.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. It's a prison gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I can't say it. Geschenk. Here's a present. Yeah. A curse. Yeah. That's one of those I don't necessarily need.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We're Catholic kids. We weren't allowed to learn words like that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We didn't learn words.

[Podcast Host]

The worst words. Right, right. Well, we're gonna play gift or curse. I need a number between one and 10 from you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Seven.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay. We do have recommendation is we host a podcast about neg. Negative online reviews. So our recommendation is. Don't do that. Don't write those.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's our. That's our promise for today. Yeah. Our podcast is called beach to Sandy Water Duet. If you actually want to listen to it, it's more of this. So I don't blame you if it's not your thing, but we do read one Serbias from Yelp of Berghain and other places.

[Podcast Host]

Gorgeous. Everybody go listen to the podcast.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's fun. We have fun.

[Podcast Host]

It's such a good idea. And I feel like you guys have been copied by a lot of people at this point.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Not successful successfully.

[Podcast Host]

Name the names. Name Those podcasts.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I have no idea. I don't. But no, I think it's fun because we do get to be like, just we're siblings, so it's like a unique thing. And we're just like us goofing off. It's really fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And when we came up with it, we were like, certainly someone's done this before. So we were actually very shocked. Nobody had, so we don't really take credit for that, but apparently we were the first ones.

[Podcast Host]

And it's an endless well of complaining.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

And that's why we don't need people to keep writing them. You can stop now.

[Podcast Host]

You don't have to be mean anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you can stop writing One star view. That's okay. We have plenty.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Don't worry. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, this is how we play Gift or a curse. I'm going to name three things. You're going to tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong because there are correct answers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love it.

[Podcast Host]

And you two have to decide between the two of you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, and we have to come to an agreement.

[Podcast Host]

Yes. Yes.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

We're going to be here a while.

[Podcast Host]

Uh huh. That's how I extend this podcast. I'm padding the podcast. Okay. This first one is from a listener named Kelsey. Gift or a curse? When the server boxes up your leftovers for you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, okay. I mean, gift.

[Podcast Host]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't need this. You know when you slide it off the plate and then all of a sudden the whole side of the plate has like sauce on it and you look like you just don't know how to eat food and it's just sitting in front of you and you're like, now I look like I don't know how to eat sauce.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I make a mess moving food from the plate to my mouth, let alone from my plate to another container that's not my mouth. Cause that I have a little more control. Like, it's just. I'm used to that. But when I'm putting it into a box.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's also very shaky.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You know, I'm always shaking. Probably all the caffeine, Adderall and what's the correct answer?

[Podcast Host]

You're wrong. Curse. Absolute curse.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I will never do that.

[Podcast Host]

I do not trust them taking that back to the kitchen. I'm not getting everything on the plate. You think they're not scraping every bit back into the box? They don't care about me. They might be taking a bite or taking some Home for themselves.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those selfish, selfish.

[Podcast Host]

Wait, Steph Servers. The service industry is. We see you littered with selfish, overpaid people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One star.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I take it back. Yeah, Write more one star reviews, people. If this is what's happening, I'm sick of that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's true. It's really unacceptable.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's thievery.

[Podcast Host]

No, I want. I'm doing it myself. Bring me the box. I'll make sure I get every piece of spaghetti in there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fair enough.

[Podcast Host]

All of the sauce.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I would make you do it for me like I'd make someone else at my table do. It's like weaponizing competence. Like, I try not to do that, but this is one of those things where I'm actually incompetent or.

[Podcast Host]

You've got to practice at home.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I'd rather not.

[Podcast Host]

Buy some to go box. Just sit at the kitchen table. Eventually you'll be so good at 10,000 hours. Is that what they say?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, that is Malcolm Gladwell. I think that's where it started with something like that.

[Podcast Host]

And imagine the next. After all of that, you go out to eat with some friends. How impressed they'll be when you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But imagine the server says, I'll go do that in the back.

[Podcast Host]

And he's like, pull it out of their hands.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

My one opportunity. I was finally gonna test it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, man.

[Podcast Host]

Follow them into the kitchen.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Maybe it is a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're right.

[Podcast Host]

Curse.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Well, you've gotten zero right so far.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels right.

[Podcast Host]

All right, this next one is from a listener named Mora. Nora. Well, you know, there might be a Mora out in the world. Is that a name?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, Mora.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Mora.

[Podcast Host]

Anything can be a name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Gift or a curse. When you have to confirm your new password and the text box immediately tells you that they don't match.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, this feels like a trick question.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I don't care. That makes me mad for no reason. I don't have a good reason. Oh, no, that's for my therapist thing. I don't know. Whenever I see that, I think, of course it doesn't. Like, it's not even. I just started, you know? But I guess, how else would it work?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What I would say is maybe alchemize that energy.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you're looking at what?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

What does that mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're looking at it, and you're going, how dare you, computer. Instead, you can look and go, oh, sad, computer. It'll never take over. You know, I can't even figure out that, like, this is my new password.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

So I just, like, treat it like an idiot. And be like, you stupid computer. You really thought that was the same? It's one character versus 12. Oh, with love.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, I'm gonna.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I have to find a balance because. So what do you think? Do you think it's a curse or a gift?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have absolutely no idea.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

No idea is not an answer.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That is a terrible answer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Curse.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I think it's a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It pisses me wrong. No. I knew it.

[Podcast Host]

I'd love to slap in the face. It's a splash of cold water.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds terrible.

[Podcast Host]

It's electrifying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All curse.

[Podcast Host]

We're all so numb online.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Makes you feel alive.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my God. Nothing else? Does it feel so fragile?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think we're too fragile for this.

[Podcast Host]

You need that little shock that'll wake you up in the morning. A wrong password.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

My brain does that for me every day. It shocks me with some shock headed Peter over here. Some new freaking thing to think about.

[Podcast Host]

That I don't like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, shock headed Sandy.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

No, you need to see that little red text. Wrong pattern or incorrect not matching.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't need to. You really think, like you wouldn't be kind of like on edge without that? You think that's like.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Really?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

What if it has like all four at the same time where it says, oh, you don't have any special characters? It's not the same one. It's not long enough. You put one thing in and it just has a list of all these things you're doing wrong. Immediately it's like, give me a chance to like prove myself first. It's sort of like immediately like it's. That's. That's our childhood. You'd start to do something. No, you're wrong. Don't ever do that again again. You can't learn. I would just want to learn. My computers keep me from doing that.

[Podcast Host]

Your computer is actually kind of true at this point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess so. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

The amount I haven't learned due to my computer at this point is pretty shocking. There was a huge period where I was learning from it and now it's over.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Back to basic.

[Podcast Host]

The computer does not allow me to learn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Humans will go back to their comfort zone. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I have endless resources to learn on it and yet it doesn't happen. Okay, so you've gotten zero out of two.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good job.

[Podcast Host]

So be very careful with this last one. This is from a listener named Alison. Gift or a curse. When people remove their high heels at weddings and dance in their bare feet.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

As someone who's seen a lot of Long island weddings where Glass ends up on the dance floor. Multiple of those, I'd say it's a curse. I get it. But also, it's like, when you're driving, it's like, you gotta pay attention to the other people. It's not that you're a bad driver. It's not bad that you're doing that. But other people drop their glasses, other people make a mess, and it's sticky and gross. So why are you doing that to yourself? It's like the airport in bare feet and, like, going through security. Like, why are you doing that to yourself?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I guess my question is, what's the pov? Because if it's like, I'm a caterer at the wedding.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Do caterers do that where they.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that certainly occurs.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, it's like a possibility for a catering company.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, now that's a good gimmick.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Interesting. Yeah. Like, to get everyone on the dance floor, they'd take their heels off. I don't know what's going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sorry.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I'll be quiet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Be quiet. Okay. Like, when. If I'm catering and I see a bunch of people, like, taking their shoes off, I'm like, here we go. Okay. You know, maybe it's like a paint.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

To look at or. What? What do you mean, here we go?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a curse. Like, oh, God, the wedding's going. You know, the way weddings go. If I'm there and I have high heels on, then I'm taking them off and it's a gift because I don't want to wear them anymore.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

So you don't have an answer again, correct. Okay, just checking. Just checking. Can I ask, are these correct answers, your answers or the listener's answers?

[Podcast Host]

Universal truth.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just tr.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know where the. I don't make. I don't make the rules.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Silly me. I don't know. That was such a silly question.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Again, as German Catholics, like, it's really hard for us to be hearing. You're getting zero, right? And we're like, we're going to disappoint. Like, what.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

What are the rules? What's the Like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ugh.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Our grandpa in Germany is going to be so disappointed.

[Podcast Host]

He's our number one.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I don't think you can be any more disappointed in me than he already is. The first words he said when I landed and showed up at the. Like, he picked me up at the airport and he said, I thought you'd be taller, and I thought your German would be better. That's the first two things. Things he said.

[Podcast Host]

It's a very gay thing to say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know, right? And, like, it's like, he could have been so fun.

[Podcast Host]

I thought you'd be taller.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. Anyway, I think it's a curse. I'm gonna say curse.

[Podcast Host]

Correct. You got one right. You got one right.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I almost overthought it.

[Podcast Host]

Total curse. You're not a free spirit. Get real, Madison, or whoever you are. This isn't your rom com. We don't need to say Letting Loose, singing Journey. If you wanted to dance, you shouldn't have worn the shoes. Or you should dance in the shoes, or you should have brought separate footwear. But I don't want to see you barefoot on the dance floor, living it up with the flowers in your hair. It's annoying. It's just spilling drinks. It grows. Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Sloppy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I've been there. I've done that. So I can say confidently, I agree with you. It's pretty gnarly.

[Podcast Host]

No, nobody wants that. And I think it's really. We've got to do away with it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've got to figure it out.

[Podcast Host]

Weddings should have, like, a rental, like bowling shoes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, fun.

[Podcast Host]

Where you go, like, if you did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wear heels, and then everyone's just sliding and falling.

[Podcast Host]

They're literally bowling shoes. The dance floor is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're all size 12 men's.

[Podcast Host]

Blood everywhere.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No socks allowed. The catering is barefoot.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's like, a little disaster.

[Podcast Host]

Well, you got one right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm proud.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That's pretty good.

[Podcast Host]

That's really good.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I'm surprised.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's an excellent score. One out of three.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll take it.

[Podcast Host]

Who could complain about that? Ellis, do you have a gift or a curse?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do.

[Podcast Host]

Alice is going to do one where we all have to answer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna leave this one to you.

[Podcast Host]

Levels the playing field.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You've left everyone to everyone else. You haven't given us a. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gift or a curse when Americans use military time.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, no.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, this is an interesting one for you guys.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

As someone who does it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You do that. He does that.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

But I was from. From when I. My first iPhone was when I lived in Germany, and so it was just normal, and I left it that way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love an angel number.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. So she'll be like, 11. 11. I'm like, it's actually 2311 right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So that tells you all you need to know about me all day long.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's like 5:55. It's like, no, it's 17:55 right now. That's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's so like, that's.

[Podcast Host]

Anyway, you are so we're lucky she keeps you in her life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Every day it's like a new age. It's never the same one. It's like, oh, it's 11. 11. The next day, it's like, oh, it's 2:22.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, different things.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I know, I know. I'm just saying. It's just like none of them are right on my phone. I don't see them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Anyway.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Curse. I dated a guy in the army. Long time ago.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And he was all about the military time. And it became, like, such an annoyance to me, you know, especially.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Especially if things were more military time in the U.S. like, if that was anyone actually used it for anything at all other than military. Why are you doing it? Like, what's the point?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unless you're practicing to go true abroad and you need to do the math.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

That was the first thing. I did it to learn it, and now I got used to it. But I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. What do you do? Show me your phone. What's your.

[Podcast Host]

I'm just a normal person.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. 113, guys. 13.

[Podcast Host]

113.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it is 1313.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Military time has angel and what does 1313 mean? Do we.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It can't be anything.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Sound good?

[Bridger Weiniger]

The page I told you to turn to was 13, so this all feels cursed. Whoa.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Nervous now?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Interesting.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The amount of curses that she brings up day to day, it's like, oh. Oh.

[Podcast Host]

I feel like I invited two German witches on my podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's. Thank you so much.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I prefer warlock.

[Podcast Host]

I am warlock. Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I saw myself in the antagonist of these children's stories. I was like, I relate more to.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The Hungry Witch, to the boy who didn't get enough soup. So he died. And there's this grave at the end of the story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. There's one where his grave has a bowl of soup on it because he didn't eat enough soup.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And he died.

[Podcast Host]

He's large.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

He literally withered away. Like, it shows him getting smaller and smaller until he's like a grave.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anyway.

[Podcast Host]

I think it's a curse. Absolutely. I think it's. You know, this is the sort of thing when somebody. Again, it's like someone goes off for a semester abroad or whatever. They come back. They're so interesting. They're doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They don't live with their grandpa for six months.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

In a long time.

[Podcast Host]

They're throwing yous into their words. They're doing the backwards dates. Everyone hates them.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, Barcelona, Ibiza Ibiza.

[Podcast Host]

Enough. Enough with that kind. No, I think it's a total curse.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

When in Rome. Come on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Literally.

[Podcast Host]

Except for. I guess except for in this particular Rome. They.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They probably might.

[Podcast Host]

They probably do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It might be helpful for that purpose only.

[Podcast Host]

That's tough. But, yeah, I think it's a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thirteen says enough.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's absolutely a curse. But it's always done by some kid named Corey who likes playing Call of Duty. You're not cool.

[Podcast Host]

Chicago shorts.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You're from Indiana. Call of Duty.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. You're from Indiana. Alexander. And you got to change your phone right now to normal time. Yeah, you're getting roasted.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

This is rough. A kid from Indiana playing Call of Duty. Like, if it were Ohio, it'd be me growing up.

[Podcast Host]

It's very Transition lenses.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Definitely rolly backpack kind of thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, boy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, Complete package.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

In hindsight, it was the right move all along.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would have saved myself a lot of, like, knee pain and back pain.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I have horrible posture, and I blame my backpack and not my laziness and bad posture. Lack of willingness. Willingness to have good posture.

[Podcast Host]

Well, we all won on that one. Yeah, good for us. Good for us for being right on some things. All right, I need some help answering a question. People are writing into. I saidnowgiftmail.com with all sorts of questions. Their lives are Mrs. Will you help me answer something?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I'll do my best.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, let's see here. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Okay, this says, dear Bridger, my wife and I are moving from Georgia to Iowa in March. We have five cats. The logistics are overwhelming. How do we transport all five cats across the world? The country. Do we drive 14 hours straight, stop at a cat friendly hotel? How would that go? Help. And then they give us the information here. Two cars, two people, five cats. 14 hours. Well, and that's from Hannah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Driving at 65 miles per hour for six hours. Where will they.

[Podcast Host]

And the train is going 88. Okay, so, Hannah, first of all, I have a problem here. When you say across the country, and you're saying from Georgia to Iowa, that's not across the country. It's east to west.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If we're saying across sort of. Yeah, that's not quite the same.

[Podcast Host]

That's a lie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are you, military time? Please.

[Podcast Host]

She's wrong.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

She's her version of the country. Like, as if that's.

[Podcast Host]

And this person's allowed to drive crazy.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

To me, at least there are no kids involved. Just cats.

[Podcast Host]

Right. Just five innocent cats. So she and the wife are trying to get across. Not across, down. What is the.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Over from Georgia.

[Podcast Host]

Up. They're trying to get up the country. They're climbing the country.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Middle America. Crossing middle America.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I drove from California to Kentucky with my cat, the one who's now the old God and has become. He's traumatized.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It took him a while, right, to settle back in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't want to be that guy. But it did take him, like, three years to. Three years to, like, get back to, like, normal. And it was terrible because it was. We moved during COVID It was 2020, literally. And we were traveling, and there were no hotels open. And we had this cat and a dog, and our poor cat was, like, so freaked out. My advice is keep them in the carrier, because everyone says that. And then you're sitting there and you're like, oh, but he's so scared and sad. And I want to just, like, open it a little bit. And then, oh, my God, hell breaks loose. And you're on. Anyway, be very careful because I thought I could, like, let him poke his head out. Big mistake.

[Podcast Host]

That's a huge mistake. My friend was traveling with her cats at the airport, and she was at jfk, and they make you take the cats out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Podcast Host]

She was going to get on the plane. Cats peed all over her.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

No, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no.

[Podcast Host]

This was before she got on the plane.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Oh, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Podcast Host]

So keep them in there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Keep them in, keep them contained. Even if they're freaking out.

[Podcast Host]

Like, keep them contained, but for 14 hours.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Aren't they gonna.

[Podcast Host]

I guess you go to the cat friendly hotel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We went to a cat friendly hotel.

[Podcast Host]

Dog friendly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I don't know. It was just kind of like, middle of COVID Whatever we could find. And then whatever that root is in the middle of nowhere. And we stayed in, like, random places and just let the dog and cat kind of run around.

[Podcast Host]

Just pee wherever they wanted.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get this out of their system.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

She was like, the help will get it. She was like, that's it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on. And we brought. They actually sell little litter boxes that you can, like, then throw away. Like, they're, like, compostable. Yeah.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And so we bought a bunch of those. So those are really handy. Cause then you don't need to, like, clean and have everything. There are definitely some supplies you can.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Cbd, you know, I think, like, drugs.

[Podcast Host]

Does that actually affect the. Does that help? I don't know.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I love.

[Podcast Host]

Just try it.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I'm never trial. I'm not doing this. I would never do it. Yeah. I like because they're so annoying. Sometimes it's like, don't wake me up. I'm just gonna give you drugs. That's what I do on myself. Why not do it on a cat?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder if it'll be better, because there are. Now, I wonder how you split them up, though.

[Podcast Host]

In the car, I think all of them in one car. And the other person gets to have the time of their life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love that. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And then you get divorced at the end.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's perfect. Well, yeah, but, like, you didn't have to be in the car with us.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Exactly. Cause, yeah, it's. Either one's gonna be maybe really loud. Especially if they're screamers. These ca. I love a cat who yells, but not 14 hours in the car. So it might just be one car of screaming and the other. Just a lovely time. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Maybe just put them on a bus. Just the bus.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Just the cats. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

To Iowa. And then you two get to drive your cars. You can follow the bus. Cut the bus off if you feel like it. I'd love to cut off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Give them a little scare.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, okay.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, give them a scare.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just a little jolt. You know how you like to feel a lot. Your password is yelling at you. Just get a little jolt. Little shock to your society.

[Podcast Host]

You've got two cars. One person should absolutely have all of the animals.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do the cats go in one container, or are they, like.

[Podcast Host]

They go in one Tupperware container.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Giant poke holes in it.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Poke holes in a rubber mane thing. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Listen, I did this. I didn't do it well. And so I just wanted to say cautionary tale. I think you've got. You're gonna figure it out.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

From my experience with cats, they're resilient.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They are resilient.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

They'll be fine. And I think try not to put your own emotions and feelings on your cats, because what you're dealing with watching them, it's like they might not feel that way. They might be a lot more fine than you think.

[Podcast Host]

And you have to remember that they hate you.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

No matter what, they already are plotting your demise.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Because this isn't going to change much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

Go to the vet. They might have something to give them.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ask a professional. Why are you asking us here?

[Podcast Host]

Because I am certified.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, true.

[Podcast Host]

I refresh my certificate every year so I can speak to animal.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

You can speak to animal?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I can speak animal. Put the cats on the phone with me.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I'll talk them through it the whole time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Speakerphone, podcast. On the whole drive. 14 hours. That's actually a great, great way to do it.

[Podcast Host]

Listen, Hannah, it's not gonna work. Just stay in Georgia.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah. Why are you moving to Iowa? That's the big problem.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's where I'm hung up.

[Podcast Host]

You two are gonna have. Have a lot of unhappy people in the Midwest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, we've just like middle America, several countries. Yeah, we've really just burned some bridges today.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

At least we're from Ohio. You know, whenever, when I was from Ohio and then I moved to la, so did everyone else from Ohio it felt like. But people from California were giving shit to Ohio and I'm like, stop that. Only I can do that.

[Podcast Host]

But I feel like Ohio's not. I feel like it's like one of the safest. Like there's really nothing to make fun of with Ohio. To me it's like so bland kind of thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's the most like boring seeming state.

[Podcast Host]

And like so many people.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It's so big though. I think it's because there's so many people from Ohio that people. Don't underestimate how big it is that they interact with a lot more people from Ohio than other states from the Midwest and they're like, oh, Ohioans fucking suck or something.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know, I never been but I'm a fan.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

It has a few good cities and then a bunch of not as good cities.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's pretty close to Kentucky.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Has some great theme parks.

[Podcast Host]

Theme parks. Oh, right. Cedar Point Point.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Kings island is ours.

[Podcast Host]

Kings Island. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The beach water park.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

The beach water. Don't go to that one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Defunct.

[Podcast Host]

I think my life of going to water parks is probably over.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's for the best for all of us.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I don't know when that happened for me, but I'm. I don't want to go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One day was the last day and it was for the best.

[Podcast Host]

Right?

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Just felt too gross.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, there's some. You're asking for it at a water park.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cautionary.

[Podcast Host]

Cautionary. That will be the shock haired man's next destination. Well, I've got my thing, my book. I'm going to learn a lot of lessons here. Maybe I can finally begin living my life in a way that's correct. To gay German grandpas.

[Christine or Zandi Schieffer]

I would love that. That's what we were hoping for, right?

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We can't do it. So.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You two have failed. Such a huge torch. Massive way I'm gonna be using that in home urinal before me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Lucky you it's time he found a replacement.

[Podcast Host]

I've had such a lovely time with you, too. Thank you for being here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a lovely day. Thank you for having us.

[Podcast Host]

Listener. We're closing up shop here. I'm sweeping. I'm hoping you'll leave so I can go home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Back to your matchbox?

[Podcast Host]

Back. I can tuck myself into my matchbox and fall asleep. But you can move on with your day. I'm releasing you. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Peter Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at. I said no Gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Bridger Weiniger (repeated intro)]

Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no Guils. Your presence is present enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?