Daniel & Matthew Libman Disobey Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: Daniel & Matthew Libman Disobey Bridger

I Said No Gifts! A Comedy Interview Podcast with Bridger Winegar
Episode: Daniel & Matthew Libman Disobey Bridger
Release Date: November 21, 2024
Host: Bridger Winegar
Guests: Daniel Libman & Matthew Libman
Network: Exactly Right Media

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Introduction

In this lively episode of I Said No Gifts!, host Bridger Winegar welcomes longtime friends and colleagues Daniel and Matthew Libman. Known for their persistent efforts to join Bridger’s backyard conversations, the Libmans continue their tradition of defying Bridger’s one rule: No Gifts! As expected, they bring an unexpected token, setting the stage for a memorable and comedic exchange.

Guest Backgrounds

Daniel and Matthew Libman are seasoned professionals within the podcasting and entertainment industry, bringing a wealth of experience and humor to the table. Their recurring appearances on Bridger's show underline their enthusiasm and dedication, often leading to hilarious situations grounded in their playful intent to "destroy" Bridger through witty banter and, invariably, gifts.

The Defiant Gift

The central event of the episode revolves around the Libmans’ decision to present Bridger with a $30 money order—a clear breach of the "No Gifts" rule. Bridger initiates the conversation with an exasperated tone:

• Bridger (01:55): "When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty-handed. I said no. Guess your presence is presence enough."

Daniel and Matthew navigate the awkwardness of the situation with humor, discussing the origins of the money order and their intentions behind the gesture.

• Daniel (01:58): "We thought a little check would help soften the blow of probably a lackluster podcast."

• Matthew (03:25): "Don't take it as a bribe."

Bridger expresses his frustration while acknowledging the camaraderie he shares with his guests:

• Bridger (03:00): "It is truly an honor to be here. We're very excited."

The gift sparks a broader discussion about the nature of gifts, boundaries, and the dynamics between hosts and their guests in the podcasting world.

Anecdotes and Personal Stories

Throughout the episode, the Libmans share engaging anecdotes that offer listeners a glimpse into their personal lives and past experiences:

• Daniel discusses his brief mission to Malaysia, revealing the reasons behind his unexpected return:

  • Daniel (17:02): "I was supposed to be there for two years. I was there for four months."

• Matthew recounts a harrowing multi-day hike in China, highlighting the risks and adventures that come with such endeavors:

  • Matthew (11:05): "I went for a multi-day hike in China. That was like an easily could have died type of situation."

These stories not only entertain but also build a deeper connection between the guests and the audience, showcasing their adventurous spirits and resilience.

Game Segment: Gift or a Curse

Bridger introduces a playful segment titled "Gift or a Curse", where he and the Libmans evaluate various scenarios to determine if they are beneficial gifts or burdensome curses. This segment fosters hilarious exchanges and showcases the comedic chemistry between the participants.

• Daniel (59:27): "Gift or a Curse? Two employees in customer service..."

• Matthew (65:24): "Curse."

• Daniel (66:15): "Wrong. Oh, it's a gift."

The back-and-forth banter, filled with sarcasm and witty remarks, keeps the energy high and the audience engaged.

Comedic Interactions and Highlights

The episode is peppered with memorable quotes and moments that highlight the hosts' and guests' comedic talents:

• Bridger (33:27): "What could this card possibly be for? The card says, 'I was really hoping this would turn out differently.'"

• Matthew (35:16): "Here's a greedy card came into our Life."

• Daniel (38:07): "It was okay. I agree."

These interactions not only provide laughs but also emphasize the underlying theme of struggling with unwelcome surprises and the absurdity of certain social norms.

Behind-the-Scenes Humor

A significant portion of the episode delves into behind-the-scenes humor, revealing the quirks and idiosyncrasies of podcasting:

• Bridger (73:03): "Something that's not just a gift."

• Matthew (84:49): "He's rapidly packing up his belongings, talking to the mice."

These snippets offer a humorous look into the production side of the podcast, making the content relatable to fellow podcasters and entertaining for general listeners.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with the Libmans reflecting on their experiences and the impact of their actions within the podcasting landscape. Bridger remains both exasperated and amused by their continuous defiance of his rules, highlighting the enduring friendship and mutual respect that underpins the show's dynamic.

• Bridger (93:08): "I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty-handed."

The episode encapsulates the essence of I Said No Gifts!, blending heartfelt storytelling with sharp comedy, and setting the stage for future installments filled with more laughter and unexpected gifts.

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Notable Quotes:

• Bridger (01:55): "When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty-handed. I said no. Guess your presence is presence enough."

• Daniel (59:27): "Gift or a Curse? Two employees in customer service..."

• Matthew (35:16): "Here's a greedy card came into our Life."

These quotes capture the comedic frustration and playful interactions that define the episode.

Transcript

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is exactly right.

[Matthew Lippman]

Abc Wednesday. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.

[Matthew Lippman]

Daughter moves back in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Matthew Lippman]

The wheels come off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Daniel Lippman]

Have you watched the news lately?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's not a thing anymore.

[Matthew Lippman]

Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Daniel Lippman]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

Stop pedaling that snooze cycle to Nowheresville.

[Matthew Lippman]

And try some cardio that's actually fun. Supernatural Fitness available on Meta Quest. Isn't that right, Jane Fonda?

[Daniel Lippman]

Cardio will never be boring again.

[Matthew Lippman]

Sweat to the beat of thousands of chart topping songs inside stunning virtual landscapes.

[Daniel Lippman]

Bet your stationary bike can't do that.

[Matthew Lippman]

Visit getsupernatural.com and join the next fitness revolution, supernatural VR fitness.

[Daniel Lippman]

Only on Meta Quest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Rated team for team. When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty handed. I said no. Guess your prison presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?

[Daniel Lippman]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're. What's going on? Oh, people wanted me to talk about. I went and did the indoor sky that Chris Grace gave to me. The ifly at the Universal CityWalk, which is kind of the gem of Los Angeles. I went at 11am last Wednesday. Had the time of my life. Just a thrill. I mean, if the instructor had just let me do my own thing, it probably would have been more exciting. But he held onto me the entire time. No one will just let me be me. And I probably won't go back. I mean, this is in the middle of a mall in the middle of a theme park, so it's not that accessible. But I had a wonderful time. It's changed me. And you're going to feel that throughout the rest of the episodes of this podcast. So just buckle up. I adore today's guests. I just think they're so wonderful. It's Matthew and Daniel Lippman. You guys, welcome to. I said no gifts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you for having us.

[Matthew Lippman]

Thank you so much.

[Daniel Lippman]

Of course. Well, I mean, you begged for months.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, months. Years.

[Daniel Lippman]

Years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We had a bit when you started the podcast that we were offended. There was only kind of half a bit that we hadn't been asked, and I think it was five years ago. When was that?

[Daniel Lippman]

I think it's been. It's almost five years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah. So pretty much for the entire run.

[Matthew Lippman]

Of all the podcasts you've done, how many have I sent you the Instagram post about the podcast and said, hmm, yeah, really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's probably better.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There have been multiple friends of ours who have been on, I think, three or four times.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. I think Amelie got her five timer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's got the jacket.

[Daniel Lippman]

She said she had to be on a fifth time before you two would be allowed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why is it up to her?

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, she's kind of a shadow producer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it, got it, got it. Well, it is truly an honor to be here. We're very excited.

[Daniel Lippman]

I'm thrilled to have you. How are you?

[Matthew Lippman]

We're great. We're really, really good. I think he downgraded it already.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think we're okay. I think we're good.

[Daniel Lippman]

We're gonna be bad by the time this ends.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're doing okay. I think we're doing fine. I'm very happy to be here, though.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay, fantastic. What was I gonna ask you? I can't even remember. I'm so bamboozled by you two being here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is there any way you could tell us a little more about the skydiving? Because I was really interested.

[Daniel Lippman]

This was a gift I was given on the podcast a few weeks ago, which I was genuinely frequently on this podcast. I'm like, oh, this is something I just have to put in a closet. Got it. But it was the skydiving, and the guest, Chris Grace, had listened to a prior episode where apparently I told people I wanted to do indoor skydiving, which you didn't even remember. I don't know why I would ever tell anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was a lie. It was a complete lie.

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, we tried to impress somebody, a group of babes.

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Excuse me. They were walking by and they lowered their sunglasses.

[Matthew Lippman]

I would endorse skydive.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, yeah, certainly. No, I. I mean, I guess it is something in line with something I would say I would like to do and then not want to pay for it, as most of my life is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

If he hadn't been on the podcast, I probably would have wanted to do it my entire life and then died. So he really. He stepped in and got me skydiving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

But you go to the CityWalk. I don't know. Have you been to the CityWalk?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, of course. Love the CityWalk.

[Matthew Lippman]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The universal City we're talking about. Oh, got it. That's the one.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yes. If a listener is not familiar. It's a mall.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a mall.

[Daniel Lippman]

An outdoor mall, but it's like attached to Universal Studios.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's attached to Universal Studios and you have to pay the full theme park parking price. Do you.

[Daniel Lippman]

Have you noticed now this is something that was really stressing me out the entire experience.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's crazy. So if you go to a movie, right, you go in the parking structure. It's just like a regular. It's like a mall, but because it's the same parking structure as the theme park. When you expect theme park parking to be wildly expensive, exorbitant. You're right. It's $35 to park. And they're like. And they're like, okay, no problem. You just have to bring this thing and then you get. What's it called? You get re.

[Daniel Lippman]

Validation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you get validation and then they reimburse you with $30 cash.

[Matthew Lippman]

There's got to be a better way.

[Daniel Lippman]

What?

[Bridger Weiniger]

They give you cash? It's the craziest thing in the entire.

[Daniel Lippman]

See, I didn't have to deal with any of this nonsense.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then I'm stressed walking back through the mall with $30 cash. Cuz that's a lot of money to be walking through a mall like that. Yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, the ifly indoor skydiving, they really. They give you it all. I got to do ballet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Daniel Lippman]

For free. If I brought back my certificate of being a first time flyer, I was happy to rub that in people's faces.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh my God. Are you kidding? You're laminating that thing and putting it on.

[Daniel Lippman]

I'm showing to strangers in the mall.

[Matthew Lippman]

How upset do you think they were when R. Kelly went down? It had to have been the theme song.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh my God.

[Matthew Lippman]

It probably.

[Daniel Lippman]

It was eerily quiet, right?

[Matthew Lippman]

Was it ever. I believe I can fly. And then they just like, maybe I frosted out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Most definitely.

[Daniel Lippman]

That's another business altogether. Just. I believe it's like a franchise of churches or something.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's a whole other thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So. So you did it and then you wanted. You had ideas that they wouldn't let you execute because it was against the rules.

[Daniel Lippman]

Cradle you when your first time there, you have to become like an expert in order for them to just let you do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it. Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

So the guy's holding you like a baby. The Whole time.

[Matthew Lippman]

In fairness to them, they did say no professionals.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. So it was. But it was exciting. I paid the extra $20 to go all the way to the top.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

And it's so exhausting. You get down and you're tired by just kind of floating there. Have either of you ever been skydiving?

[Matthew Lippman]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not interested.

[Matthew Lippman]

We're not the plane jumping type.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Literally.

[Matthew Lippman]

I'm not a thrill seeker. Not a thrill seeking bone in my butt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I'm good.

[Matthew Lippman]

It might shock you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm okay. Honestly, that I'm a hard no on that. Indoor skydiving. I think any type of diving. I don't even really like diving in a swimming pool.

[Matthew Lippman]

The ocean.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, I'm not a fan of the ocean.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The ocean is. The ocean is terrible.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's a bad place to be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no reason for it.

[Daniel Lippman]

We should be filling it with garbage. More garbage.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't. I don't mind that at all. I mean, listen, I like looking at it and I like being in a hotel room where you can see it.

[Daniel Lippman]

Sure.

[Matthew Lippman]

Or even better, at a pool where you have a view of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't mind an infinity pool that looks like it's part of the ocean, but actually is. It is the number one lives.

[Daniel Lippman]

Are you leading?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no. I've seen these on I' oh, you've seen it. I see it on tv.

[Matthew Lippman]

I've seen it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I watch very expensive tv.

[Matthew Lippman]

I take really expensive TV vacations.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah. But no, that's the dream. And then because honestly, the sand is annoying. I can't get over the idea that you could be just like bopping around in a body of water and get eaten by something.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's terrifying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It doesn't make any sense.

[Matthew Lippman]

But why volunteer to go in that thing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what I'm saying. It's like there's really no reason for it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Like, you wouldn't go like swimming in a trash heap. There's just too many things that could go wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I feel like too much more things that can go wrong. Yeah. I feel much more comfortable in a trash heap.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. There aren't as many sharks. Dangerous fish.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think you could wear like some type of armor and dive in a trash heap and be okay. Although maybe in a.

[Matthew Lippman]

Now an infinity pool with a view of a trash heap.

[Daniel Lippman]

That's the hotel you want to visit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or an infinity trash heap.

[Matthew Lippman]

Now that's nice.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It literally looks like it never ends.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. You can't see the edge of the trash heap.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cause I hate when in a trash heap. And then it's got that rim around it. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's so ugly. And then it's got the thing where it lowers the differently abled folks into it. That thing's an eyesore.

[Daniel Lippman]

On a trash heap.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In a trash heap. No one wants that.

[Daniel Lippman]

No. I think my biggest problem with the ocean is the drive home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

If I can get to shower quickly within three minutes of being in the ocean. But that's so rare.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's impossible.

[Matthew Lippman]

Not in this city.

[Daniel Lippman]

Not in this 20 minutes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everywhere.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Take fountain. Not from the ocean.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Doesn't go that far. It is. It is a pain. The amount of sand everywhere. Then you need. I mean I like a clean car. You got to get your car detailed basically. After you. I mean.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love taking my. There's a dog beach in Malibu that we would take the dog to. Yeah. I love bragging about the public dog beach. It's truly accessible to everyone who's alive can go there. It's amazing. It's very far, but my dog is so dirty and sandy that my car is ruined.

[Daniel Lippman]

Does your dog like the beach?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Loves.

[Daniel Lippman]

So you're keeping the dog from the beach?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Loves it. I'm keeping the dog for a number of reasons.

[Matthew Lippman]

But the dogs. But the dog is stupid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The dog. Oh, sorry. He doesn't like the ocean. He likes the beach just fine.

[Daniel Lippman]

Just the sand.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But also he's never really had the opportunity to swim in an infinity pool or an infinity trash heap.

[Daniel Lippman]

Right, Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like I could have one of those trash heaping.

[Matthew Lippman]

You could broaden his horizons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can you take a dog to a trash heap? That's a good question.

[Daniel Lippman]

Some of them are not sure police.

[Matthew Lippman]

Some of them are no pets.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Some of them. Yeah. Well, there you can have a pet, but it has to be on a leash.

[Matthew Lippman]

It has to be on a leash.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You can't just. There's no. That's annoying. But they say that you can't whatever. It's. It's a whole thing. It's a.

[Daniel Lippman]

What is the most thrilling thing either of you have ever done?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like a. Like. Oh.

[Daniel Lippman]

Like in that arena edging towards a. Jumping out of a plane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh my goodness.

[Matthew Lippman]

I went for a multi day hike in. In China. That was like a. Like easily could have died type of situation.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wow. This does feel outside of your realm of comfort.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

I used to be so adventurous. The world has beaten me down to basically being a living room dweller.

[Daniel Lippman]

I am to the point of just like the thought of doing something Is enough for me.

[Matthew Lippman]

There's nothing out there for me. What could there be?

[Daniel Lippman]

There's nothing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I enjoy being outdoors, but not with a tremendous amount of risk. So, like, a hike. I love. I'm not that much of a couch potato. I was. I love that phrase, by the way. I'm trying to bring it back. Yeah. By the way. Remember, because we're talking to my kids about this, like, it used to be, like, a negative thing. If your kids just sat around and watched tv, now, that would be, like, the best kid ever. Because being on TikTok, they're just, like, watching TV. I'd be like, they, like, long for marriage.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I couldn't even tell my friends. I'd be bragging. They would be like, okay, we gotta.

[Matthew Lippman]

Get out of here.

[Daniel Lippman]

We have an attention span.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Okay. Excuse me.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. You know, she's a bit of a couch potato. Not to brag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Must be nice.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She loves sitcoms. Oh, my goodness. That's amazing. Amazing. Good for her.

[Matthew Lippman]

It was called the Tiger Leaping Gorge to come back.

[Daniel Lippman]

Tiger Leaping Gorge. Thank you.

[Matthew Lippman]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But that is. The trip was getting there. You almost fell.

[Matthew Lippman]

No, it was on the way back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

On the way back. Right.

[Matthew Lippman]

So on the way back, you hike for multiple days. You get to the end and then you get a ride back, sort of along the less high part, but still high enough that he knows all the terms.

[Daniel Lippman]

Less high part. This is the technical.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

I was quite the outdoor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

And essentially this driver knows it like the back of their hand. And they're driving incredibly fast. Way too fast for my comfort. And it's raining, and there's, like, parts of the road that have fallen that have, like, made, like, waterfalls and stuff. It's like a video game, essentially. And I read the following week that a van exactly like the one that we were in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fell off the road.

[Matthew Lippman]

And plummeted to its death with tourists in it.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wow. Well, you beat them.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. I feel good about that. I didn't even cut the brake line or anything of the van.

[Daniel Lippman]

I know.

[Matthew Lippman]

To think you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No one would have assumed what a.

[Daniel Lippman]

Missed opportunity for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I didn't. I don't think anyone would have assumed unless until you said that.

[Matthew Lippman]

I didn't deflate any of the tires or anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Again, why would. So you. You got there and you're like, no one else will ever get to do this safely. Correct. And so you sabotaged the van. Oh, God. You didn't.

[Daniel Lippman]

You wanted to be the last person to do it safely.

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, I wanted to prove a that it wasn't safe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He likes to be the last person to do everything. Once he does it, no one else.

[Daniel Lippman]

Trail bodies after every exciting thing you do.

[Matthew Lippman]

This isn't safe. And I'll show you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Watch how. Watch how unsafe it is.

[Daniel Lippman]

How did you end up in China? Was it. Did somebody just bring up the idea? Was it a bachelor party?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You know, those bachelor parties are getting famous. And then world China, rural China. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

All of those classic. Yeah, it was wild. No. I worked for the Olympics in 2008 as a reporter for the Olympic News Service.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wow. I had no idea.

[Matthew Lippman]

I covered basketball, men's and women's, and then I stayed and covered the Paralympics where I covered sitting volleyball.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wow.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

How long did. Was that the only time you ever did it?

[Matthew Lippman]

I did it once. Yes.

[Daniel Lippman]

It was enough for you?

[Matthew Lippman]

It was unpaid.

[Daniel Lippman]

It was unpaid?

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

How did. What. I had no idea about this in your past.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. After college, I was offered this opportunity to go and do this, and I love basketball, and I had literally nothing else to do with my entire life, so I said yes. And it was fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I will say everyone else knew this about him in the room that we worked in, which was why we were so surprised that you were the one who had a podcast, because we're like, he didn't ask Daniel any questions about himself at all.

[Daniel Lippman]

I wanted nothing to do with you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Like, have you ever been to China Would be like such a normal.

[Daniel Lippman]

And I usually ask everybody.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You literally went down the line. Asian travel is like, your area of interest.

[Daniel Lippman]

Who here has been to China? That's all I want to know about any of you.

[Matthew Lippman]

I need a show of hands.

[Daniel Lippman]

Storming out of the room so mad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When no one had been.

[Daniel Lippman]

I said no gifts is brought to you by Showstopper Cookies. I adore Showstopper cookies. I've talked about them on the podcast before, just willy nilly, because I love them so much. They're coming from Portland, Oregon. It's a one woman show. Her name is Andrea. She's been developing this recipe for 10 years. And you can tell because they're ideal chocolate chip cookies. That's all she makes. She's focusing on one thing and doing it well. And I love them so much. I take one right out of the box. When they get to me, I eat it. Then I freeze a few of them for future, you know, treat emergencies. I don't have to panic. I can think. I have a Showstopper in the freezer. Do they make a great gift? Of course they make a Great gift. Give them to friends, family members. You could put them on a plate and take them into the office and tell everybody there that you made them. The people there are going to be dazzled. They're going to. You know, they're going to be like, david, I didn't know you baked. And you can say, well, Melinda, there's a lot you don't know about me. Maybe you could invite me to lunch with the gang sometime and stop ignoring me. That kind of thing. And if they find out you're lying, even better. They'll be talking about you non stop. You'll be a legend. You will not believe how much attention you'll get from this little stunt. All Showstopper cookies are baked fresh to order. They make the perfect gift for any occasion or the perfect gift to give yourself. They offer shipping all over the US Delivery in Portland, and free porch pickup. Use code gifts for 15% off your next order at showstoppercookies.com Again, that's code gifts for 15% off your next [e-mail] I have. I went on a Mormon mission to Malaysia.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's where your mission was? Yes.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you. Did you finish? Did you. We were there the whole time.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, I was supposed to be there for two years. I was there for four months. Four minutes full, stepped off the plane, got a drink.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it was tropical. I'm sure it was in some kind of Malaysian tea. Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Frosty drink. And then got back on the plane and came home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, got it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Wait, why?

[Daniel Lippman]

Form I had a complete nervous breakdown.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it. Total. I should have asked you collapse. Now I look like a jerk.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, it's fine. I'm happy to talk about this because I was 20 and it was clearly where the path was headed when you don't quite believe in a thing, and then you go to the most rural, foreign place you've ever been, and then you're on a bike for eight hours a day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait. Part of it was being that's how you got from place to place to.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, we were on bikes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why?

[Matthew Lippman]

For so long.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Daniel Lippman]

Because it's like a job. You're going around trying to convert people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

So? And then you're converting, you know, the poorest people you've ever met into a church that you yourself are like, I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not sure this is gonna help you at all.

[Daniel Lippman]

This might actually be worse for your situation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're gonna have to give us all your money.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. You have a lot of you're obviously swimming in cash.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've always wondered about.

[Matthew Lippman]

Hey, Richie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, we've all seen the play, but, like, when they're handing it out, like, you obviously. I mean, it's a big thing. Like, people are excited.

[Matthew Lippman]

Like, play the Adorable Bike Man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Bike Man. Play the Mormon.

[Daniel Lippman]

Our favorite musical. The Adorable Bike Man.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, that Broadway smash. The Adorable Bike Man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I loved it. It was one of the better plays I've seen. No, when they're handing it, like, how does it work? Like, in the. Where they just gather everyone. They're like, you're going here. You're going here.

[Daniel Lippman]

You're.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, like, to find out where you're going on your.

[Daniel Lippman]

No. You get a letter in the mail.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

You have a ton of interviews beforehand.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Like, to prove that you're, like, following the rules. All of this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And so do some people not get to go?

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, the most people get.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

You have to either, like, be an idiot, be, like, a teen father, or be actively addicted to drugs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What about both? They cancel each other out.

[Daniel Lippman]

Then they're making.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Then they're like, clean it up.

[Daniel Lippman]

Put him in charge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You speak directly to God. Okay. You're on your way. Okay.

[Matthew Lippman]

Being selected for a jury, would you ever be like. But I don't like Malaysians.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

I think you can kind of hint at where you would like to go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Because I knew I wanted to go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Aloha. I'm fluent in how to say hello in Hawaiian.

[Daniel Lippman]

They ask you a bunch of questions. I don't know if those lead to anything. And then you get a letter in the mail, and you open it in front of your family.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

And then you find out right then where you're going.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it. And where do you. How did you feel about Malaysia?

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, it was. So it was to the Singapore mission, which covered Malaysia, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Malaysia and Singapore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Daniel Lippman]

And so I was excited. I was thrilled. I was like, oh, this sounds like a wonderful part of the world to visit. I mean. But again, on vacation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Daniel Lippman]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not where I'm at.

[Daniel Lippman]

But not as a volunteer job where you're, like, your only social contact is one other person who you hate.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. And you're on a bicycle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, wow.

[Matthew Lippman]

That can't be overstated.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. You are on a bicycle and you hate each other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you hate that person before you left? Did you know this person?

[Daniel Lippman]

No, I met him there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

And he was just. I mean, the opposite of me in every single way. Got it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Kind of not adorable.

[Daniel Lippman]

Not adorable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Terrible.

[Matthew Lippman]

On the Bike.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not lovable.

[Daniel Lippman]

He was very sweaty.

[Matthew Lippman]

He didn't sing at all when we rode.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He knew Daniel went to China.

[Daniel Lippman]

I'm the last person on Earth that didn't know Daniel's been to China. It's fine. But, yeah, it was. I'd like to go back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Daniel Lippman]

Under different circumstances.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, so can I just. Sorry. We can get off this. But how did you get out of it? Were you just like, I need to leave?

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean. I mean, it's dark. It gets very dark.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

We're probably too dark for the listener on this point podcast, but. And it's fine.

[Matthew Lippman]

They're expecting a light romp.

[Daniel Lippman]

They are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All my material is really messed up.

[Matthew Lippman]

Matthew works blue.

[Daniel Lippman]

I twisted from the twisted mind of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dude, you don't want to take a walk up here, man. It is. It's dark.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's a bad neighborhood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is a bad neighborhood.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, I'm not uncomfortable. I'm actually happy to talk about it, but it's just, like, kind of. Yeah, it's a drag.

[Matthew Lippman]

Just breeze past it.

[Daniel Lippman]

But, no, I don't want to breeze past.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was enough. I'm no longer interested.

[Daniel Lippman]

For everyone to be like, maybe Bridger can come home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it. Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

And then there was, like, kind of a push where they're like, well, do you want to go somewhere else? I was like, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I am picturing you wielding a machete. Is that even close?

[Daniel Lippman]

I didn't get to hold a single knife.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Daniel Lippman]

Not a single knife. What is the point?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Even of this point? There's no mission.

[Daniel Lippman]

But you did all the typical missionary. They're holding a machete, of course.

[Matthew Lippman]

Slashing his way through the thick jungle brush.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I see you with two. Honestly, just like, almost. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

Then two more on the back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, by the way, forget his tiny little ankle machete. They're always like, drop all your machetes. They're like. And that one. And he lifts it up.

[Daniel Lippman]

He's got a plastic ankle machete.

[Matthew Lippman]

The little Derringer.

[Daniel Lippman]

Micro machete.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Always carry a micro machete.

[Daniel Lippman]

But, yeah. Have either of you been to southern Asia?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Matthew Lippman]

No.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's so wonderful. The food there is unbelievable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've only been to Japan, and it was the best.

[Daniel Lippman]

Fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. The absolute best.

[Matthew Lippman]

I've been to Thailand. That's southern Asia.

[Daniel Lippman]

That's southern Asia.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You said.

[Matthew Lippman]

No, I forgot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

You forgot Somewhere in Russia.

[Matthew Lippman]

I've been a lot of places.

[Daniel Lippman]

You have been. You go on very nice vacations.

[Matthew Lippman]

Look, I've been a few places. I had kids. Later than some other people.

[Daniel Lippman]

You're 75 now.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, 75 years old. And I like to travel. And I got the bug.

[Daniel Lippman]

I finally got the cruising bug.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Loves the cruise, Loves the cruising sky.

[Matthew Lippman]

Good luck, Lord. He loves a 10 cities in six days time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, please.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Port to port, six days, nine nights. Don't know how they do it. It's amazing.

[Matthew Lippman]

All you can see, all you can eat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love videos of people being left by their cruise ships and running down the.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh my God. I've never seen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a lot of them. It makes me very happy. It makes me sad. But I also have never really followed up and found out what they do at that point.

[Daniel Lippman]

Like, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess you fly. Help Chopper Blade. You could probably hire a local chopper Pil. But they're not like landing. I don't think that have. They have a helipad. Definitely on like a car, right?

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, on a thing that they have a go kart track. They definitely have a helipad.

[Daniel Lippman]

Maybe for a water slide. But we have no way to get someone off in case of emergency.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They have a submarine dock. You can. Seriously, you can come aboard that way.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. They have a full size arena and a rock climbing wall.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's true. They are really crazy.

[Matthew Lippman]

But we can't get anyone on and off once we're out of here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What about that as like, let me just pitch as like a special episode of the podcast. The three of us go on a cruise.

[Daniel Lippman]

We're doing it. We have to do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like we can get a budget, we can get a sponsor. That Sky Place will pay for it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Can we go from Long beach to Santa Monica?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, but you can. No, but there is like a three day like Ensenada cruise. It's like Long beach to like Rosarito, Ensenada and back.

[Daniel Lippman]

And the episode will be three days long.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think we keep full audio. I think we keep the tape rolling.

[Daniel Lippman]

We all have mics taped to us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We wear those little headset things and we just walk around, around the deck.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, we're like flossed in paradise.

[Daniel Lippman]

We're in the casino.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh my goodness. It would be great.

[Daniel Lippman]

You hear us chewing.

[Matthew Lippman]

We're taking in a show.

[Daniel Lippman]

Show after show. World class entertainment.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I went on a cruise, Second City when I was. I went on a cruise when I was 10, I believe my family went on a cruise. And the highlight by far was that the entertainer, they would have these like entertainers. The entertainer on that trip was Suzanne Summers.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh my.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's incredible. That Is world class. It was crazy. I was a huge, huge, huge Three's Company fan. And I remember seeing her. I think it was probably like one of the first celebrities. Cause I grew up in. We grew up in Chicago, so I did not like seeing a lot of celebrities in the gift shop. And I was absolutely blown away. I thought it was so cool.

[Daniel Lippman]

And what was she doing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

She was doing like a cabaret show, basically, which I went to see.

[Matthew Lippman]

That would be like going on a cruise today and seeing Julie Bowen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's exact. That's exactly.

[Daniel Lippman]

Just as bowled over.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I would be blown away. And. Because I've still never met any celebrities.

[Daniel Lippman]

You've met a show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know any. I do not know.

[Daniel Lippman]

Anytime you're on set, seriously.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, please do not talk to me.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you're gonna be an entertainer on a cruise, then we can talk.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wow, that must have been. I wonder what was happening in her career at the time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It must have been. So it was like, definitely post that show. I was watching Three's Company in syndication.

[Matthew Lippman]

What's the opposite of a rocket ride?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I mean, it was a cruise. A cruise.

[Daniel Lippman]

A cruise ride?

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, a cruise ride.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Clearly it's a cruise ride. And so my guess is like, not top of the world if you're cabaret singing on a.

[Matthew Lippman]

Or was it considered a luxurious form of transportation? Oh, at the time, was it a. Was it a top tier family vacation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Transportation, like she needed to get from Miami to St. Thomas?

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, they're like, do anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right, I'll go by se.

[Daniel Lippman]

I gotta get home for Christmas.

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, you're gonna have to sing for it, sweetie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She is from St. Thomas, so. Yeah, that actually. That actually does.

[Matthew Lippman]

I need to get to St. Thomas. Thanksgiving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mom's gonna be so disappointed.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, my kids are gonna be pissed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is probably what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wow. So you caught her between Three's Company and Step by Step.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. Probably dark days.

[Daniel Lippman]

Real step in her life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pretty exciting. I bought a sweatshirt. Souvenir. SS Norway sweatshirt. That was one of my favorite garments for Suzanne Summers.

[Matthew Lippman]

Your way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's what it stands for. SS Yep. I wrote Suzanne Somers underneath my suit.

[Matthew Lippman]

Like an acrostic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. In front of her in my own blood, which for some reason she thought was weird.

[Daniel Lippman]

She loved us. Knocked her off her feet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She was like, come home to St. Thomas with me, kids. It was that.

[Matthew Lippman]

That gave her the courage to go back to Hollywood.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, you revived her.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sorry. So a 10 year old child writing her name On a sweatshirt. In blood.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yes. As an acrostic.

[Daniel Lippman]

Her.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As an acrostic.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

On the way to St. Thomas, to her childhood home. Made her be like, I should go back to Hollywood. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

She was, like, super depressed. She was like, I'm just a cruise ship.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nobody knows me. I doubt any. Any children know how to spell my name. No.

[Matthew Lippman]

No one. No one under 11 knows.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no pens around here. Who's gonna write my name? I mean, come on.

[Matthew Lippman]

How's he gonna do it?

[Daniel Lippman]

Things couldn't get worse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Her voice is insane in our mind, by the way.

[Matthew Lippman]

Anyway.

[Daniel Lippman]

She drives a dump truck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She does.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, there's something else we've gotta talk about. We just absolutely have to talk about. You know, as we were talking earlier, you two have been begging to be on the podcast for years, to the point of. I mean, it got pathetic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is really embarrassing.

[Daniel Lippman]

It got sad. The networking.

[Matthew Lippman]

You don't eat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not proud of it. But here we are. So look at us now.

[Daniel Lippman]

So you're clearly familiar with the title of the show. I said no gifts. You agreed to be on the show after. I kind of finally just relented.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

And I thought, it'll be fine. They'll come by and we'll get it done. And maybe we'll delete the audio. I don't know. Maybe we'll just not even record.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's not recording.

[Daniel Lippman]

Send them home.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. There's supposed to be a red light.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It doesn't really matter as long as we're here.

[Daniel Lippman]

Guys.

[Matthew Lippman]

I think, like, the walls are going to wheel away this whole place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're going to come back. We swear there was a studio here.

[Matthew Lippman]

I mean, it's certainly deep enough in Burbank that it could be fake.

[Daniel Lippman]

It could easily be fake. This could be part of that new scare prank show.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would love that. We've been begging to be on that show, too.

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you know anyone. If you know anyone.

[Matthew Lippman]

By the way, we've been banging our phone number.

[Daniel Lippman]

Phone number on this for people to call in if they know someone that can get us on a scare prank show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Please. I'll leave my contacts in the description. Can I do that? I don't know how that works.

[Daniel Lippman]

I think you can put those in the description. We'll put your personal phone number.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We put my home address.

[Daniel Lippman]

Maybe your wife's phone number.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

Right, right.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. We're all pointing down.

[Matthew Lippman]

We're all pointing down.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Smash that email button to just immediately email me.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's a hyper like, and subscribe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay. Now this feels like a distraction. You brought a gift to my podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We did.

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

A gorgeous gift. Kind of a tan envelope that says Bridger. Not even centered in the middle of envelope.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. All right.

[Daniel Lippman]

Clear. This was written in the dark.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not sure. Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Or like driving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe using a steering wheel as a table.

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, I wouldn't. I don't even have to ask. I assume this is a gift for me.

[Matthew Lippman]

It is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is a gift for you. We just. I know it said, you know, obviously the title, but we just felt like.

[Matthew Lippman]

Look, we've worked together. We're now, you know, more than colleagues. We're friends. We wanted to show our deep gratitude for you as a colleague, as a friend, and as a host by bringing something, you know, it was the least we could do.

[Daniel Lippman]

It was okay. I agree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Support for today's episode comes from one skin. Everybody knows that I view gifts as an attack. So this particular season, the holiday season, is extremely stressful for me. And, you know, finding the perfect present is stressful. What's worse, stress is terrible for your skin. Thankfully, Oneskin is here to defend you on both fronts with their limited edition holiday bundle. You've got a gift that's thoughtful and unique. It features Travel sizes of OS1 face, OS1 eye, and OS1 body all packed in a sleek leatherette bag. I love to get something in a leatherette bag, don't you? It's the ideal gift, though. You might want to keep this for yourself. OneSkin's unique OS1 peptide helps your skin cells repair damage and even reverses the signs of aging from the inside out. Their products don't just treat the surface. They work at a cellular level to help your skin stay strong, hydrated, and youthful. I've been using a lot of Oneskin's products in the last few months, and I just love all of them. I talk about the SPF all the time. It goes on so easy and putting that on every morning, regardless of what the sun is doing with its day. I'm going out protected. I'm also using the OS1i, the OS1 body. Every one of these things has been really great, and I've noticed a lovely difference. Oneskin is the world's first skin longevity company. Oneskin addresses skin health at the molecular level, targeting the root causes of aging so skin behaves, feels, and appears younger. It's time to get started with your new face, eye, and body routine at a discounted rate today. Get 15% off with the code NOGIFTS at OneSkin Co. That's 15% off. OneSkin Co with code NOGIFTS. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them I sent you. We only have one body, one skin. And only you can choose to make it better. Age healthy with one skin. Bored with your boring cardio?

[Matthew Lippman]

Stop pedaling that snooze cycle to Nowheresville and try some cardio that's actually fun. Supernatural Fitness.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Available on Meta Quest.

[Matthew Lippman]

Isn't that right, Jane Fonda?

[Daniel Lippman]

Cardio will never be boring again.

[Matthew Lippman]

Sweat to the beat of thousands of chart topping songs inside stunning virtual landscapes.

[Daniel Lippman]

Bet your stationary bike can't do that.

[Matthew Lippman]

Visit getsupernatural.com and join the next fitness revolution, supernatural VR fitness.

[Daniel Lippman]

Only on Meta Quest. Rated T4T. Well, let me get into it here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, great.

[Daniel Lippman]

Let's open this near the mike so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They can hear the telltale ripping.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You gotta have an envelope. Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

You really sealed it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That's saliva on there, by the way.

[Daniel Lippman]

Thick saliva filled with way more. Okay. What could this card possibly be for? The card says. I was really hoping this would turn out differently. And it's kind of a pretty card.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a nice card.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

What does it say inside?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

This is such a. This is. I'm so sorry. I know how much this meant to you. The lip. What is this card for?

[Matthew Lippman]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

What? Real.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Another part of that.

[Matthew Lippman]

Wait, no, we have to talk about the card.

[Daniel Lippman]

Let's talk about this card for a minute. I see something else in here, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, so why don't we do this? How about you?

[Matthew Lippman]

How you guess?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

What do you think what this could possibly be?

[Matthew Lippman]

What?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That. What category? You're in cvs and you're looking at all the different. There's birthday, Valentine's Day.

[Daniel Lippman]

Just because I know how much this meant to you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, I would guess it's like not getting a job or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a pretty good guess.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's a great guess.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's not correct. Think about something a little bit heavier, a little bit. A little bit more serious.

[Daniel Lippman]

Is this that somebody died?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not exactly.

[Matthew Lippman]

Depending on what side of the aisle you're on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How about this? I took a picture of this. Okay. Because I did it. I didn't think that anyone would actually believe me. So I'm gonna show you what it says and then you.

[Daniel Lippman]

Infertility. Oh, my God. This is such a weird category.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's certainly not a weird.

[Daniel Lippman]

How is this not like A conversation you have with close friends. I don't know, you just hand somebody a car to drive off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm so perplexed.

[Matthew Lippman]

Do you go there looking for that card where you're like, oh, God, all right, I see Valentine's Day. You guys don't have infertility, do you?

[Daniel Lippman]

This is such a personal, intimate conversation you have with me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's unbelievable. Also say, like, I know you were hoping it would turn out differently. Of course, yeah. It's also like, not something that you like. Let's just say a man is infertile like you are. There's nothing to reverse it necessarily. It's like, that's it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

This is not. Your boss is not buying this card. You know, it's not like someone you have a cold relationship with is going out by.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not a casual acquaintance. It's also wildly inappropriate for your spouse because that would be the person you truly share this sadness with.

[Matthew Lippman]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To get you a greeting card, you'd.

[Daniel Lippman]

Be like, why do this marriage? It's like, I thought you hoped this marriage would turn out different.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Yeah. Someone who could give me kids, who.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wouldn'T buy me cards for infertility.

[Matthew Lippman]

The whole trajectory of the marriage has gone south now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everything I thought was going to happen with my life is now different.

[Matthew Lippman]

Here's a greedy card came into our Life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I spent 399 at. At CVS. I think they're hoping that, because obviously I don't. I can't imagine anyone's going looking for it. I think they put it in a place like wedge between like birthday and bar mitzvah or something where I saw someone who's infertile.

[Daniel Lippman]

You just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're browsing. You know what I mean? It was right at eye level. I think it's one of those where they want you to see it when you're in there for something else. And then when you encounter an infertility diagnosis, you know that there's a card.

[Daniel Lippman]

You don't have social skills.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Right.

[Matthew Lippman]

And you're a complete fucking moron.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you want your marriage or your partnership to end immediately. You present that person with a card.

[Matthew Lippman]

Who'S been just given devastating news, you're profoundly emotionally insufficient.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That being said, I do think a card that you send someone for like a death, it's almost like even more common. Weirdly, right? Yeah, far more common. Yeah. So, like, I think that is touching. I mean, that can be nice.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, with death, you can find out in the newspaper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, exactly.

[Daniel Lippman]

But you're not Finding out someone's in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which I usually. Which I usually do.

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, you haven't read. You haven't read my circular.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He likes to go. He likes to go out with a B. Yeah. He likes fertility.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Remember her?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, you guessed it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Remember him big time.

[Daniel Lippman]

I would love to see more cards in this category.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What they're doing. The nice thing about that card and the reason that it wasn't just for the gag, but I also thought it probably would apply to our performance on the podcast.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, right, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So that's the nice thing about it.

[Matthew Lippman]

I'm hoping this would have gone differently.

[Daniel Lippman]

Cause I'm going home in a rage Almost Driving off the road.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You just look at that glance under your front seat.

[Daniel Lippman]

See that car changes everything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you're like, that was sweet. You know what?

[Daniel Lippman]

They gave it their best shot. We all tried tonight.

[Matthew Lippman]

You're certainly throwing a scarf around yourself in a haze as you drive off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Without a doubt.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay, well, should we get into what's happening here?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, sure. Oh, it's a money order for $30.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Daniel Lippman]

And it says a memo podcast. That's appropriate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just wanted.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay, so you just wanted to pay who and for what is being paid? What is the transaction again?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not a pay to play thing for being on the podcast.

[Matthew Lippman]

Don't take it as a bribe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We thought a little. A little check would help soften again, the blow of probably a lackluster.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, if this gets out to other. Other people, they're going to try paying $30 to get on the podcast.

[Matthew Lippman]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

So we're gonna have a flood of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

By the way.

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, it's high prices.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I mean, that's not a terrible thing you said. That definitely won't end up in your closet, I would imagine.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, this is.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's going straight up your nose.

[Daniel Lippman]

$30 worth of cocaine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's gotta be in Burbank. I know where your night's gonna go. This is gonna be amazing.

[Daniel Lippman]

So what was the thought behind this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just wanted. You know, I think we were just thinking something that you. I mean, we've listened to a lot of the. And it seems like many people do disobey you.

[Daniel Lippman]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it felt like you have a lot of stuff.

[Matthew Lippman]

This way you can buy yourself something that you really need.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That you really want something.

[Matthew Lippman]

Skydiving thing, you know?

[Bridger Weiniger]

By the way, I mean, it's.

[Daniel Lippman]

I love the skydiving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nobody loves the.

[Matthew Lippman]

Can I say, it seems like now that you're almost at a point on this Podcast where you're soliciting things that you want people to give you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like you were like.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's like skydiving just happened to come up.

[Daniel Lippman]

Or you're like, maybe we should brainstorm things now.

[Matthew Lippman]

We do want that Ensenada cruise nightstand.

[Daniel Lippman]

A single nightstand.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just one night stand for my one sided bed.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, the bed that's pushed up against the wall in your guest room where.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You often sleep in a rage.

[Daniel Lippman]

Maybe another fight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Keep your card in there too. Keep the card in there.

[Daniel Lippman]

Do you. Did you go to the post office to get this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I went to the post office.

[Daniel Lippman]

This is a huge deal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I went to the post office. Busy. It was on the way. I did walk into the Studio City post office, shout out to Janet, Janice.

[Daniel Lippman]

Thank God for her.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The best. It was completely empty. And so I would have gotten mad if the bit was I had to wait for two hours to get a postal money order because I was pot committed by then. There's no. I parked. I was there. We're getting that money order.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, this is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I just. Honestly, the real reason I got the money order is I thought you would not believe that we could pass a real check.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, yeah, of course. I would have had to throw that away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Blacklight it. Cash.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's so impersonal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is. And again, counterfeit. Counterfeit.

[Matthew Lippman]

You're like, there's no way this is real.

[Daniel Lippman]

I needed something that had the hologram banned.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I know how you are. And I have written you some bad checks in the past.

[Matthew Lippman]

So mad.

[Daniel Lippman]

But that was led to some pretty bad situations.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not good. Not good.

[Matthew Lippman]

Or I've given you a counterfeit bill or two.

[Daniel Lippman]

Who hasn't Apprehended at Target?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who hasn't?

[Daniel Lippman]

I was just trying to do a grocery trip and suddenly I'm being questioned.

[Bridger Weiniger]

By the manager, called off into Target jail.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, we paid your script fee in cash. Remember that one?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I thought that was funny. Well, you ghost wrote a bunch of stuff for us. A bunch of our scripts you ghost wrote. And all paid in cash. It was a fake Samsonite briefcase, by the way.

[Daniel Lippman]

Not even the suitcase.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, not even the suitcase. Remember? It just fell into dust and just turned into dust.

[Matthew Lippman]

The dye that exploded in your face is quite real.

[Daniel Lippman]

That was the only thing you would spend money on. Quality dye.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So weird. Because you think we didn't rob a bank. We literally made counterfeit money and then put dye packs in for no reason.

[Matthew Lippman]

Just. Just, just for the fun of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just. So when you opened it up to get yourself script fee. It exploded in your face and died your face blue for. It was several weeks.

[Daniel Lippman]

It was weeks. It was weeks I had. I was out of the public eye for at least a month ordering in all so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then trying to pay in cash and getting beaten up by delivery people. It was bad.

[Daniel Lippman]

Just snowballing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So anyway, so you understand now why.

[Daniel Lippman]

The post a money order? What if is a money order for at this point in time? What are we using them for?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would imagine it's. It's the equivalent of like a cashier's check just to prove that it's like actual real. So I would imagine, like if you're putting a deposit on an apartment or something that requires you can pay, I don't know, taxes with it. I'm not really sure. I think honestly now, mostly it's for gifts for podcast hosts.

[Daniel Lippman]

I think it's like, I think that's.

[Matthew Lippman]

Like its number one currency use viral.

[Daniel Lippman]

On giving money orders to podcast hosts.

[Matthew Lippman]

I gave a podcast host a money order.

[Daniel Lippman]

40 million views TV deal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I mean, they're making a lot of money. They don't make any money on it. Oh, no, they do. They make 2, 235. So just FYI.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wait, the post office makes it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a 2 $2.35 fee.

[Daniel Lippman]

So you had to pay $32 for this 3250. How old fashioned of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I paid the 250.

[Matthew Lippman]

He venmo me.

[Daniel Lippman]

You said you'd throw in 250.

[Matthew Lippman]

I was like, I got 250 on it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I was like, okay, I'll just, I'll put up the 30. That's fine. I'll get the card too.

[Matthew Lippman]

I fought tooth and nail against this. I was like, I can scrounge something in my house for free. I have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was gonna bring in.

[Daniel Lippman]

It seems like a lot of past guests.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's fake soup.

[Daniel Lippman]

Grabbing at things on their way out of the house.

[Matthew Lippman]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Has that ever happened on this show where it's very obvious?

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, we have, I mean, guests frequently say, well, I saw this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, got it in my apartment.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. Like I had to get rid of this. That kind of thing.

[Matthew Lippman]

I saw this and thought of you. It's a Prius floor mat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very dirty, Very, very filthy.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, now I've got to think about $30 things that I'd like to buy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you know, you don't have to only spend it on $30 things.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, but that's why you don't know me very well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it. Okay. Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

If I spend a cent more, I'll feel like my day's ruined. I'll be like, oh, they got me to spend more money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not easy. Okay. God. Oh, I see. It's a trick.

[Matthew Lippman]

I think it's a reasonably priced entree.

[Daniel Lippman]

It is a reasonably. Yeah. It's like a reasonable meal at a, you know, dine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Matthew Lippman]

But it's like a chicken parmesan at John and Vinny's.

[Daniel Lippman]

That's over $30.

[Matthew Lippman]

No, it's like 27. And then you're leaving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, then you're.

[Daniel Lippman]

And they build the tip in there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's how John and Vinny get you.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, that's how they get you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're not.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, because they build the tip in and then also say you need to tip, right?

[Matthew Lippman]

No, I don't do it anymore.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, okay.

[Matthew Lippman]

I think the public.

[Daniel Lippman]

There was a situation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You'll have to go to the bank and deposit it, which I like. I like that it creates a little work. It's like. Because then you'll get your money, but.

[Matthew Lippman]

You'Ll have to work for it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I also like that then you'll think about us when you're like, why do I have to go to the bank to do this thing? And then you'll spend your. You'll find your entree and you'll be.

[Daniel Lippman]

Excited because we'll be thrilled. Are you kidding me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You do need to. I mean, you don't have to, but I'd love you to keep us posted on, like, what?

[Daniel Lippman]

You'll find out what I buy. I mean, I'll have to post about it on Instagram. Listeners are going to demand what? $30 item? And not to brag. Just yesterday, I opened an envelope at home. I got $35 from a sewage. Class action laws.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Daniel Lippman]

I didn't even know what was happening.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you actively take part in it?

[Daniel Lippman]

Apparently it was happening to me. And that's all that had to happen. They gave us all 35%.

[Matthew Lippman]

You're really living your Erin Brockovich moment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fighting injustice in the sewage industry. That's amazing. This is a sewage cluster.

[Daniel Lippman]

Heads to the sewers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a shit cluster.

[Matthew Lippman]

I know. It smells terrible here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everywhere in. This whole block smells bad.

[Matthew Lippman]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, let's sue immediately.

[Daniel Lippman]

Let's not even look into it.

[Matthew Lippman]

We don't even need suing. We don't need to do any of the tests.

[Bridger Weiniger]

None of the records.

[Matthew Lippman]

Just follow your nose.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They didn't even really put up a fight. It wasn't dramatic. At all. They're like, all right, sure, here's some money.

[Matthew Lippman]

It stinks to high hell. Literally.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. So Now I've got $65 to my name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. Hey, and one of them I was able to deposit electronically.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you can do that too? Yes, of course. I'm sure you will be able to.

[Daniel Lippman]

Although I think this actually, I wonder if you can deposit a money order electronically.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what you could do is you could go. What if you went to the post office and just bought $30 worth of stamps?

[Daniel Lippman]

That's actually not a bad idea.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what I mean? Like you're bringing it back. It's kind of full circle for the post office.

[Daniel Lippman]

I can get the stamps I actually want.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Finally.

[Matthew Lippman]

Finally. As opposed to once in my life. Yeah. Cuz you sign up for that mystery box and that's been a whole pain.

[Daniel Lippman]

Very offensive. Stamps.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You never know what you're going to get. How can those be real? Some of those I genuinely don' I don't understand. I really don't understand. I love when people at the post office take so long to decide what stamps they want.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Caboose.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's caboose.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Matthew Lippman]

Heart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the vampire.

[Daniel Lippman]

You should be designing stamps.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They usually end up with American flag, which I think is like this default standard. Standard. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

I just made both of those up.

[Daniel Lippman]

Right off the top of your head. Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's amazing.

[Matthew Lippman]

I mean they should be. That's crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is insane. That's really good.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, I'll have to. I mean, we could brainstorm $30 things. Now, other than dinner, let's say I could buy a decent shirt.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What decent shirt?

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Are you kidding me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What kind of shirt?

[Daniel Lippman]

I could find a lot of decent shirts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Matthew Lippman]

More T shirt.

[Daniel Lippman]

Probably a T shirt ultimately. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Like a T shirt. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You could buy.

[Matthew Lippman]

I feel like you can buy a pair of socks. Like sandals.

[Daniel Lippman]

Sandals. Probably socks and sandals.

[Matthew Lippman]

No, classic combo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's insane. It is a classic combo in this climate. It's getting. It's getting.

[Daniel Lippman]

It'll turn. Oh, God, don't turn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you're not talking politically. You're actually talking in this climate.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, you gotta let the puppies breathe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

You were used to be political.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Matthew Lippman]

I've never heard of.

[Daniel Lippman]

That's why we're both so surprised.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do not. I was like, no, do not not get. Don't go there.

[Matthew Lippman]

I've never been.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I said don't go. There.

[Matthew Lippman]

I don't believe in talking about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's very personal.

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, no, it's very personal. I don't play politics. I don't talk about politics.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's nothing happening that I'm aware of right now that makes us like feel like we should talk about politics.

[Matthew Lippman]

My thing is it doesn't affect me. Like I'm chilling.

[Daniel Lippman]

He always says, and I think a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Lot of people like his political stances. Like, I'm going to be fine. You know what I mean?

[Daniel Lippman]

People love hearing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that that's kind of.

[Matthew Lippman]

I'm gonna be fine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. Like, doesn't matter. Let them. Like, I'll be cool.

[Matthew Lippman]

I'm going to eat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You know, I'm going to buy sandals and I'm going to wear socks with them.

[Matthew Lippman]

I'm going to throw around $30. Like it's 32.50.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Put as much of a fee on it as you want because I'm still buying it. It's like a half a joke.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, this is a, this is a trip to the PO or to the bank for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

You know, I have my bank, I go to. It feels very old fashioned. Feels like it is one that could be robbed at any point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why is that? Just.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, it's like very old school bank. I think it's like probably been there for 100 years or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something.

[Daniel Lippman]

They've obviously updated it a little bit. But there's something about it. When you walk in, you're like, someone's certainly going to come in with a gun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right?

[Matthew Lippman]

Sounds like it's you. Sounds like you're gonna go in.

[Daniel Lippman]

I go in there and I think somebody should come in with a gun. This is the place to do it.

[Matthew Lippman]

You're like casing the joint.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like I've written down the security guards walking patterns. So this is really starting to look dangerous.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know that the manager has a drinking problem, so I've got that figured out.

[Matthew Lippman]

Security guard watches shark tank at 9:35am.

[Daniel Lippman]

Just like clockwork, a deafening volume.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've got a dry cleaning van that you are. You're still driving around. That dry cleaning van that you parked.

[Daniel Lippman]

I got a new one. Oh, you got a new one. Okay. Yes. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

Nice.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, look, I've robbed a few banks. You gotta, you gotta spend money to make money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would be the dream. I would love if that was your story. If you rob banks, I'd be the.

[Daniel Lippman]

To be able to just like if you could tell everyone or like tell one person. Like listen, this is just kind Of a joke and then get to do it and then be like, well, tell them I was kidding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A million percent.

[Daniel Lippman]

Tell everybody I was kidding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Phenomenal.

[Daniel Lippman]

I would love that experience.

[Matthew Lippman]

I think they would take kindly to that. Hey, it's a bit.

[Daniel Lippman]

Come on, come on, come on.

[Matthew Lippman]

Have a sense of humor.

[Daniel Lippman]

So sensitive.

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh, my God.

[Daniel Lippman]

Show something dragged away.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love it. I hope we do it. What if we robbed the casino or like the bank, Wherever they store all the money on our cruise.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, as part of the podcast recording.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, like a Bridgers 3.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now we're Bridgers 3. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

You've heard of Ocean's 11?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, we're Bridgers 3. This is much, much worse. Way more boring and stupid.

[Daniel Lippman]

Hey, take that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, sorry. You think it would be smarter?

[Daniel Lippman]

It would be smarter, more exciting. It would certainly be sex. Yes, it would be more exciting.

[Matthew Lippman]

It would have way more panache.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, the panache would be through the roof.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's. What about the. What about the off camera pranks? Would they be better?

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Look who you're talking to. I'm the original prankster.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. I sat down on a thumbtack tonight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, wow.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's still in you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I. I really thought I had gas. It was a whoopee cushion. It was unbelievable pranks. It was amazing. All right, so may I take it back? That is. That should be our move. Yeah, that's the move. To go on a three day cruise. What day do you think you rob on?

[Matthew Lippman]

You can't get one time.

[Daniel Lippman]

As soon as you get on. Enjoy a moment on that cruise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You walk straight. You walk straight to the bank on the cruise ship.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yes, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because there's probably atm. Yeah, exactly. They have to refill.

[Matthew Lippman]

And then you hide in plain sight.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, in plain sight. Oh, interesting. What if we did like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What if we did like an inside man type type of thing?

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, and live on a cruise for like years.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's good.

[Daniel Lippman]

You're just trapped in the.

[Matthew Lippman]

Bowels or.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The wall of like some just like indoor. Like inside. No window.

[Matthew Lippman]

No, you're like in the walk in fridge that you've built in the walk in fridge in the Johnny Rockets.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, there we go.

[Matthew Lippman]

In the Johnny Rockets.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, of course. Johnny Rockets. Got it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it's a false walk in fridge.

[Daniel Lippman]

And so many milkshakes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, and all you can drink.

[Matthew Lippman]

We can't get the temperature right in here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I think.

[Matthew Lippman]

I think we're fucking built out of cardboard painted silver.

[Daniel Lippman]

The thing we're doing is all the food's Rancid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're running a line, though, to the milkshake machine so we can drink it like we have our own tap. That's the only thing we can drink. Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Just out of a crazy straw, the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Three of us just passing it back and forth for years on the open water.

[Daniel Lippman]

That almost feels like the right idea for a movie. It feels like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, we're definitely closing in on something. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

Bridgers 3 is dancing with the diabetes devil in a crazy way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I guess. Is there a version where you. I think you're right first down, because if you went third day, maybe you could. Or you did it right before you got off in Ensenada and then just disappeared into Mexico.

[Daniel Lippman]

Right. You get off on one of those busy ports.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what I'm saying.

[Daniel Lippman]

People are living it up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're wearing sunglasses.

[Matthew Lippman]

The person who's chasing you is going the opposite way of the flow of traffic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no. You're calmly walking off in a disguise as the police arrive. You know what I mean? They come in, and then you're walking off the camera. Obviously, we go to, like, a crane as we walk into Ensenada and then realize we have to live there for years and years.

[Daniel Lippman]

Live the ultimate life in Ensenada.

[Matthew Lippman]

Lindsay, I'll send for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

She has to take the same cruise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. It's the only way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's gonna retrace our steps, and she's gonna, like, be knocking on, like, the wall of the walk in, realizing that it's a false.

[Matthew Lippman]

She's doing, like. She's doing the walk in fridge equivalent of It's a man baby.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

To every fridge, she's ripping.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's not a fridge, baby.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Matthew Lippman]

This isn't a fridge, baby.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a no. Damn it. Everyone's like, you're offending every fridge here.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's so rude.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So rude. It's so rude. Do I make you thirsty? That's what she says to the milkshake machines. Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

She's an Austin Power statist type investigator.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's her investigative style.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I will tell you. Lindsay's an amazing detective. She gets very Austin Power Powersy when she. When she investigates stuff. It is. It is wild. Yeah, it's wild.

[Daniel Lippman]

Austin Powers was kind of an. I mean, he was a spy, but also more of an investigator.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was. He straddled.

[Daniel Lippman]

I think he was getting in there and, you know, pulling wigs off, doing that kind of thing.

[Matthew Lippman]

Of course, it's tough to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I guess the line is fuzzy. I guess between, like, international. Well, he was an international man of mystery. Was his. That sort of is like a pretty big umbrella name.

[Daniel Lippman]

He could do truly anything he wants.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anything. I mean, I think the movies. I think the three movies prove that. Yeah, right.

[Daniel Lippman]

In the best way possible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think so.

[Matthew Lippman]

In only the. In only the best way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think he could even do the British accent anymore now in the. In. In this. Speaking of. I mean, political.

[Daniel Lippman]

You can't do anything anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can't do anything British. I mean, he was doing British and Scottish. I mean, are you kidding me?

[Daniel Lippman]

That's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't believe that we watched that movie and laughed.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

I'm on Twitter every day trying to cancel him. Anybody see this clip of Austin Powers?

[Matthew Lippman]

Look at him dancing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just. It's the same film, just different clips.

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everything he says is in a British accent. Oh.

[Matthew Lippman]

So I can't play this, but he can put on the teeth. Okay, okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right. Oh, baldcap. Because remember, he played Dr. Evil 2. He does the Lorne Michaels voice.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's Canadian.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's Canadian.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So he's doing. I mean, it's crazy.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's offensive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is wild.

[Matthew Lippman]

I'm staying out of it. I'm staying out of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's Mike Meyer. I mean, full disclosure. Is attached to one of Daniel's projects.

[Daniel Lippman]

Several of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He does, actually.

[Daniel Lippman]

All of them. Several characters in each one of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's literally. And that's why he doesn't want to say anything, because all of them. It's like Mike Myers and Mike Myers. And Mike Myers. He's clumping. He's clumping.

[Daniel Lippman]

So far, that's the only idea you have for him.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's just the preview.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We just.

[Matthew Lippman]

Are just the trailer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We don't know what the. Maybe you can help us with this. Honestly, this is a great idea. No, no. We don't even have the audio. We know that there's a dinner scene and we know that the camera moves around to each person and they. Something crazy. And each one is a Mike Myers. But we don't know where the movie goes. We don't know what it's about.

[Daniel Lippman]

Attached.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He is attached.

[Daniel Lippman]

He is attached.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Based on that pitch.

[Daniel Lippman]

That's all it took.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is all it took.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, it's solid gold.

[Matthew Lippman]

I mean, when you're us. Yeah, of course that resumes.

[Daniel Lippman]

You have a proven track.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It does speak for itself.

[Daniel Lippman]

You have the idea.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We have the idea. We have the IP. I mean, we're calling it IP. Yeah. It's a dinner scene. Where he plays 19 characters. By the way, it's like a graduation. Like, it's a big event hall.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's a banquet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a banquet table. And he plays 19 characters at one.

[Daniel Lippman]

Of the tables and then 19 at another table. It's a strangers dinner.

[Matthew Lippman]

Strangers to each other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But by the way, two 19 person tables. That's just in that timeline.

[Daniel Lippman]

There's a multiverse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. In that timeline.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. There's a portal to a much bigger dinner.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Matthew Lippman]

Somewhere else.

[Daniel Lippman]

Much bigger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

By the way, it's. I'm going to give you a hint. I think we just cracked it. It's in the. A walk in. He goes through the walk in, investigating a cruise robbery with his partner Lindsay, played by Daniel's wife, as herself.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. And then he.

[Daniel Lippman]

So this is a spin off of Bridgers 3.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is. It's inspired. I think it's a prequel.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, it's a prequel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Matthew Lippman]

We're going to have to cut him in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a prequel. Yeah. You know what?

[Daniel Lippman]

Money issue. Well, I've got $30.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We'll figure it.

[Matthew Lippman]

All right, give us the 30 and you're in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Slide.

[Matthew Lippman]

Everyone has bought in for 30.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. $30. I think that that's typically how these deals work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

$30 in a greeting card.

[Matthew Lippman]

You know, we won that. That attachment fee. You didn't read about that in the strike?

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, of course, the attachment fee. Yes. I fought for that very hard. That was my sign. Got to get the attachment fee.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. For free.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what. Screw you, studios. I never want to work for you again without an attachment fee. I thought that was smart.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, I'm gonna take this and spend it. I'm gonna put it towards something very important. I'll probably spiral for days trying to think of what I'm gonna buy.

[Matthew Lippman]

I would only hope.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Honestly, I feel bad now. I should have thought that this would be a disaster.

[Daniel Lippman]

For this to just be days of my busy, busy life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The other bit, I did think would. The other gift that we were considering was.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, okay. Well, there's always a second episode.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, well, now there is. After that gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I was gonna say, I feel like if that doesn't get us back, I don't know what will.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, if I hear the sound of a horse over a phone, I'll consider having a few times.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You hear the telltale clomping.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of a horse.

[Daniel Lippman]

Little bit of a whinny in the background as we're chatting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Look behind you.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. During the pre interview.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It would be great if we went out into the parking lot and we walked out together, and I was on horseback.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, my God.

[Matthew Lippman]

Or if we sent a rider and it was like hay. Carrots.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Sugar cubes. Sugar cubes.

[Daniel Lippman]

A stall and then there is no horse. You do eat all of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's just I ride Daniel in Bridal Whip. Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, I think we should play a game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

We're going to play a game called Gift to Recurrence. And I need a number between one and ten from you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Two from we combined. Decide on the side.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, you've got a Daniel, Go ahead.

[Matthew Lippman]

Six.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microphone. I'll be right back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it. What do we want to promote?

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, we recently made a show called Mr. Throwback.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We did.

[Matthew Lippman]

Which is on the Peacock streaming platform.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's available everywhere. That peacock is available everywhere that you have Peacock.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's also available there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get Peacock, and then you can have the show. It's a fun show. It stars Stephen Curry, the basketball player. Adam Pally, the comedian Ego Wodom, also a comedian.

[Matthew Lippman]

Tracy Letts, the living legend.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Aiden Meyeri, Tian Tran, Rich Sommer, Blair Beacon. And it was created by us and Adam and our friend David Casp, who is a dear friend and also known as Bridger. He's never been on this podcast.

[Daniel Lippman]

He's been on. Does he do podcasts?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think you want to.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's kind of a. You know, he's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's reclusive.

[Daniel Lippman]

He hides in the shadows.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's deep. Yeah, he's deep in the shadows.

[Daniel Lippman]

Force him to ask him. But then he'll do it. Yeah, he's the sort of person who'll do it regardless, you know, how.

[Matthew Lippman]

But then he'll never do it.

[Daniel Lippman]

He'll dodge me for the rest of his life.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's right. That's right.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's a good way to poison a relationship.

[Matthew Lippman]

He'd much rather do that than just say he can't do it.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, the show's very good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you, Vincent.

[Daniel Lippman]

Two former guests of the show. Ego Wodom, Tien Tran. Oh, wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The best, fantastic of us two absolutely delightful people.

[Daniel Lippman]

Tien gave me beautiful clip on bangs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. That's a great gift.

[Daniel Lippman]

Ego gave me a mostly used bottle of lotion.

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh, nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right.

[Daniel Lippman]

So both excellent gifts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It was from Ricard.

[Daniel Lippman]

We Certainly from Ricard.

[Matthew Lippman]

Very fortunate with the casting. We worked. I mean, they were everyone on the show. Was so brilliant and made us look incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, give yourselves all the credit, actually. Take the credit. Now.

[Matthew Lippman]

They didn't fuck it up.

[Daniel Lippman]

They got very lucky.

[Matthew Lippman]

It was the Mona Lisa, and they didn't fuck it up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They said the words that we wrote and.

[Matthew Lippman]

No, it was truly. I mean, it was such a murderous row of talented folks. That was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You would love Tracy Letts.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, I'm sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He is a genius and such a great writer. I mean, he won a Pulitzer Prize and a Tony. He won the Pulitzer for August Osage County.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And so, like, we would just walk up to him and be like, hey, if you wanna say a different word here, like, whatever, like. And he would say the most insanely funny, brilliant things and add in ways that we truly never could have ever, ever in a million years and was so funny and incredible, thoughtful in a.

[Matthew Lippman]

Way that I don't think I'll ever be about anything.

[Daniel Lippman]

And we'll try.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no. Like, we would give him a note and then he would, most of the time, 90% of the time, like, take it, no problem, but spit in our face. The few times he pushed back, it was only with, like, the most thoughtful character calculations that he had already made. And he'd be like, well, I was thinking, like, isn't he this way because of this and that? And you're just like, yes, yes, definitely. Yeah, 100%. You're so right. Just stuff we never thought about and he did. And it was amazing.

[Daniel Lippman]

Always tough feeling to get pushback. That makes sense.

[Matthew Lippman]

I love it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's great.

[Matthew Lippman]

Best thing ever.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Honestly, I'd always rather have that.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, no, no. I want to get in a fight right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Always.

[Matthew Lippman]

You know, I want to tell them why they're wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They agree with the note. And then you're like, actually, scratch that. Do it the other way.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What?

[Matthew Lippman]

You took that note, you idiot.

[Daniel Lippman]

This was a test.

[Matthew Lippman]

Wrong. Dead wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In fact, you are a bad actor. You're fired.

[Matthew Lippman]

Tank your career.

[Daniel Lippman]

My own show?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You really have fired so many actors on your on shows, it's crazy.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, I'm known for kind of just releasing them for the day. Find somebody. Now we gotta need a replacement. And five minutes. I don't care what they look like.

[Matthew Lippman]

If you come on set, it's kind of like, that's the kiss of death.

[Daniel Lippman]

That's the kiss.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can I tell you my favorite move of yours is when you hire the other actor before you fire the first one and have them just walk in in cost in the same wardrobe. Same house. The person you just fired or sit next to them, be like, hey. And then you're like, excuse me, can I talk to you to the first actor? And then you fire. That is ice cold.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, I've learned it's been years of, you know, fine tuning the process.

[Matthew Lippman]

You don't want that. You don't want that downtime in between actors.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, that's true.

[Daniel Lippman]

The budgets are so slender now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're just killing us everywhere. They can.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, no, no, no.

[Matthew Lippman]

You can't afford any lag time.

[Daniel Lippman]

Second.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no, absolutely. Because you can always, like, have them do one last take and then you just face replace.

[Matthew Lippman]

Right, Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

And you like face replacement.

[Matthew Lippman]

You like to tell them that it's fine. We'll just. You're fired. But we will face. And we'll face replacement.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We'll voice replace too.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, this is all gonna get done.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't worry. Don't worry. But can we just have you just for camera? Can you just.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay, this is how we play. Gift or a curse? I'm gonna name three things. You're going to tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers and you can lose.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

It should be very embarrassing for both of you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God. And should we both just shout out our answers and stuff?

[Daniel Lippman]

I think you should talk to each other other about it. It's gonna be a brotherly exercise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, got it. That great. So there's not like. It's not like we're punching no lightning round.

[Daniel Lippman]

Talk it through.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Casual.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay. First. This is the first one. It's from a listener named Joe. Gift or a curse. Two employees in customer service, eg, two baristas who make a point to finish their personal conversation before making eye contact with you or acknowledging your presence at the register.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Man, I feel like this is a trick question. I feel like. I feel.

[Matthew Lippman]

I. I think it's think it's a. I think it's a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I. I have to say curse. It's not something. I mean, I'd be curious to hear what they're talking about, but I can hear what a lot of people are talking about all the time.

[Matthew Lippman]

All the time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's not professional.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Matthew Lippman]

Keep it at home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Also keep it at home. They don't live together. Well, this is the only opportunity they have to talk.

[Matthew Lippman]

They seems like they hang out outside of work. They're friends.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe not maybe that's a heated conversation. That they tell you why?

[Matthew Lippman]

It's why it's also a curse. Eye contact with me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Uh, no, they said.

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh, yeah, they finished the conversation before making eye contact with you. That's a no no too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you don't want them to ever make eye test.

[Matthew Lippman]

Head down. What can I get you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it. All right, so because it's not the conversation that offends you, it's the fact that once they address you, they make eye contact slow and it's making it uncomfortable. Okay, great.

[Matthew Lippman]

Slow and rude.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm okay with that. I think we gotta go curse.

[Daniel Lippman]

Wrong. Oh, it's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Let these two have their personal conversation. It feels nice to just vanish in public for a few seconds. It's just kind of, you know, you just kind of. It's an ego, you know, you're learning things about yourself. You're watching these two people. Maybe they have a little chit chat that we all want to wrap up Chit chat now and again and somebody needs our help, they can wait.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Maybe they're talking about a recipe and you're learning it.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, maybe I'm eavesdropping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe it's great.

[Daniel Lippman]

Maybe there's some juicy gossip.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, you're right.

[Daniel Lippman]

And even if it's not interesting to me, they should take as much time as they want.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What is the but to what end? How much time can they take?

[Daniel Lippman]

5 to 10 minutes.

[Matthew Lippman]

5 to 10. So you're. You've waited in forming behind you.

[Daniel Lippman]

You've waited. The line forms.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've waited in line. Right. Assuming you get up to the front and now two people who are. It's supposed to be a one second thing where they're like, what can I get you? They're talking to each other.

[Daniel Lippman]

Very old fashioned.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Five to ten minute. I don't know if you know how.

[Matthew Lippman]

Long of a television comedy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's basically. It's almost a half.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, it's almost a half.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

Having a conversation. And you're standing there, the first act.

[Daniel Lippman]

In a day, talking about loved ones, thinking about what I'm grateful for.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cappuccino. I'm saying like get the drink.

[Daniel Lippman]

Go, go, go. I'm so busy. I wouldn't be thinking about.

[Matthew Lippman]

But why can't they talk and do their job at the same time?

[Daniel Lippman]

Because whatever they have is so much more important than.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Whatever they have to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what?

[Matthew Lippman]

You're right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure, man. Thank you.

[Matthew Lippman]

I agree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I agree. We were stupid. Does it, does this. Do you guys do instant replay to check to like Decide, slow down, stream.

[Daniel Lippman]

It'll be like a 40 minute video.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just. I'm just saying, is there a judge who could like.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, right. Sitting in front looking at it. You lost the point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Judge, jury, executioner. Okay. Got lost, man.

[Matthew Lippman]

Get it through your head.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're going to be cruising in no time.

[Daniel Lippman]

I just hope this doesn't cruise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can we get to Long beach in 15? 15 minutes?

[Daniel Lippman]

We'll take the Burbank Airport.

[Matthew Lippman]

If we.

[Bridger Weiniger]

By the way, we can.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yes, that's you.

[Matthew Lippman]

But if we get there two minutes late, we're taking a blade.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's true. We're subbing in. Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay. Number two. This is from a listener named Jennifer. Gift or a curse? Getting someone else's food order through a drive through and not realizing until you get home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I gotta say it depends. I think it has to depend on. It has to depend on what it is. My brother and I. Can I tell a story? Should we answer first?

[Daniel Lippman]

You can do whatever you want.

[Matthew Lippman]

As long as the story gets to an answer I feel like.

[Daniel Lippman]

Or it's just completely unrelated.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The story is a. Yeah, it gets to the answer of what my answer would be. There was a Chinese restaurant that we used to love in Arcadia, I believe, or San Gabriel called Meilong Village. It was an incredible Shanghainese restaurant. Restaurant that is since closed that we were obsessed with. I went one time. My wife was pregnant at the time. I went and I got so much extra food. I was like. I ordered like five things. I ate there and then I took the rest home. Very excited. This family next to me was like laughing at how much food I ordered. And they were eating their food. Get home with these two enormous bags that were heavy to carry in. I was like, honey, guess what I got. I'm so excited. Excited. I open up the first box. I got the other people's order their entire table. And it was devastating. None of my pan fried noodles, none of my Shanghai rice cakes. None of the. What was our other.

[Matthew Lippman]

You didn't get a bowling ball.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I got several bricks.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's why the other bag is so heavy. I got three dumbbells and a case of vitamin water.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was cool. That was. That was. That was awesome.

[Matthew Lippman]

Also, I'm gonna say curse. People have disgusting eating habits. And I would say I have great taste in food. So whatever I'm gonna order is gonna be. It's gonna be a thoughtful order.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The things will be looked. Pictures of everybody.

[Daniel Lippman]

Good. You're so nice to have in a workplace because you care.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We do care.

[Daniel Lippman]

When some people Are the opposite.

[Matthew Lippman]

When the menu thing comes out. Give me the ball.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll take.

[Daniel Lippman]

Of course you can be trusted.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There were people on that show we worked on together who would order from places just to anger everyone. If you remember.

[Daniel Lippman]

I could tell a story. I mean, all I'll say is that if you force me to order lunch from a place that you know everyone hates.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Daniel Lippman]

The future of your career may be in danger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How you have that much power.

[Daniel Lippman]

Look, people ask around about people. Let's just say people ask around about people.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's town talk.

[Daniel Lippman]

And you should.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you have. She should say this before you give your. And tell us if we're right or wrong. You have pretty specific tastes. I've got.

[Daniel Lippman]

I. That's the only thing that makes me a happy eater.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

100% to enjoy food is the only thing.

[Matthew Lippman]

So if I'm going to order, the things are going to be. They're going to work in harmony. Sometimes it's tough for my kids. If I'm not going to get that, that's going to cause me a world of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think we got to go. Curse. You're either getting chicken feet or you're getting like a baconator.

[Matthew Lippman]

Sometimes chicken, sometimes feet.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, right. So you're saying curse.

[Matthew Lippman]

Curse.

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, I can't argue, but it's a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's not.

[Daniel Lippman]

What a horrible feast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not good. It can't be good.

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, I would love to say. I mean, it's. I wanted you to try walk in someone else's shoes. And we could all use that peek into other people's ordering habits.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think so.

[Daniel Lippman]

I think everyone. Okay, now I'm backing up. It's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. What? Well, no, because people are.

[Matthew Lippman]

People are sitting in the comfort of their own homes and they're ordering food like little piggies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All gross. Me included. It depends on the restaurant. I mean, maybe I feel like you just want what you want, you know? I mean, by the time you're. Food's so expensive. Have you noticed how expensive food is?

[Matthew Lippman]

Are you even kidding me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

$28 for a cheeseburger? Hello.

[Matthew Lippman]

Last time I checked, it was free.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When was that?

[Matthew Lippman]

Oh, you worked it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

You had a cheeseburger factory.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's not a fair comparison. You can't if you own the factory that makes cheeseburgers.

[Matthew Lippman]

I had a charity that gave out cheeseburgers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Last time you checked. Yes, this time I checked, people are being charged free. It's free. Got it. That makes sen.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay. You've gotten one out of two so far.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right, this is the rubber master. This is the big one.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's from a listener named Katie. Gift or a curse? Cyclists who don't remove their helmet when they go shopping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Huh? They don't remove their helmets when they go shopping. Now let me ask this question. I wonder if they're wearing bike shoes. If they're clomping.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If they're clomping through a tarp. If they're clomping about.

[Matthew Lippman]

I say I don't want to hear the clomping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are they wearing the uniforms with the full spandex?

[Daniel Lippman]

This is just the helmet.

[Matthew Lippman]

Because the helmet is the least offensive part of the biker's get up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's a blessing and I think it's partially. I'm going to think about them for a second. It's a blessing to them having biked in the past. You, you sweat, you bike. You've got a very weird internal sort of mechanism that holds the plastic thing that holds the helmet on.

[Daniel Lippman]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's messing your hair up. Your hair is looking really bad. So I think it's a blessing to the person and everyone around that person to not have to see probably the worst their hair, I would imagine is ever gonna look.

[Matthew Lippman]

I think it's a curse in that I dress up for me. Put some thought into the act. If you know you're gonna be biking, go home, put a respectable looking outfit on where you're not wearing a helmet and come back to the store looking proper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But what if they're using the bike as transportation? It's a very.

[Matthew Lippman]

Find a shower. Take a horse bath in the bathroom. Surely the place that you have, that you're going into has a bathroom. Bathroom. Change clothes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you're going to put a hat on. Put a hat on.

[Matthew Lippman]

You're saying backpack. Oh, like that's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've never seen that saddlebag. You're going to put the saddleback.

[Matthew Lippman]

You can do the saddlebag work as a messenger, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I did. Oh, my God. Back in the day. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

Man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can you believe that that was a thing. Now we just email.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, I know, right?

[Daniel Lippman]

Can you imagine?

[Matthew Lippman]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'll tell you what.

[Daniel Lippman]

Crazier I'll tell you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Put them all out of business. The fax machine.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I remember when it was free.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was free?

[Daniel Lippman]

What was free?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You were so far removed from what stuff. Okay, so let's get messages. So packages.

[Matthew Lippman]

Getting a package was debt free.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Receiving anything is always. Receiving a package is usually you Ran.

[Daniel Lippman]

A getting package factory as well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And a charity.

[Matthew Lippman]

It was a package charity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Truly the worst charity. I mean, I could see why people would want cheeseburgers, but just a package. Whatever.

[Matthew Lippman]

Eventually, the businesses, they merged.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, sure. And then collapsed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, he's made burger packaging.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, interesting. There's a lot of money there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, all the money is in there.

[Daniel Lippman]

You turned your back on the charity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When a burger's $29. I mean, think about it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

26 of it is the package.

[Matthew Lippman]

There's no such thing as a free burger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This guy's going. This guy's making $26 wrapper.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Foil.

[Daniel Lippman]

It's a piece of silk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Foil. Eventually, it'll just be wrapped in postal. Postal money orders. $30.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's a scarf. It's a burger wrapped in a scarf.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like ste. It's called Steven Tyler Burger. It's a great place that we're trying to start. We're trying to get him attached to the burger place. All right. Blessing or curse. Someone is walking.

[Daniel Lippman]

Gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gift. Sorry. Gift. It's a gift. All right. You know, I'll. It's a curse.

[Matthew Lippman]

I don't want to look at it. I don't want to look at you in your helmet and your stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right, I'll just. I think we have to have a united front. And you feel, I think, more passionate about this than.

[Matthew Lippman]

I don't want to see it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We don't want to see it.

[Matthew Lippman]

We don't want to see it.

[Daniel Lippman]

You're right. It's a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

Show some class. Yeah. Show some respect.

[Matthew Lippman]

Thank you.

[Daniel Lippman]

This is targeted. Not a pig pen. It's not a farm.

[Matthew Lippman]

What? Why are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Farm. What on a farm is, you know.

[Daniel Lippman]

Cyclists on farms circling around the pigs and the horses, taunting them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're right. That's gross.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. I don't want to feel like I'm on the side of the freeway while I'm grocery shopping.

[Matthew Lippman]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's true.

[Daniel Lippman]

Thank you.

[Matthew Lippman]

Also, I don't want to be made to feel bad that I'm not cycling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

About it's body environmental. Well, it's also like environmental shaming. It's like, oh, I polluted by driving here.

[Daniel Lippman]

Everyone feels guilty.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right. Yeah. That's enraged. I do find it funny that bikers have to wear, like, a costume. The costume you have to wear when you bike is. And maybe it's not everywhere, but in la, it's like you're sponsored by a team. No, you're not.

[Daniel Lippman]

Where is that coming from?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, you're not. You are not. You are. You're literally out for a bike ride.

[Matthew Lippman]

Can't you just wear a T shirt and shorts?

[Daniel Lippman]

I understand extremely baggy shorts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or does that get caught in the.

[Daniel Lippman]

Can't you wear, like, long baggy pants.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Palazzo pants, a skirt and. And heels?

[Matthew Lippman]

Can you wear a fringe pant?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't understand. Can't you wear dangling long gloves with the fingers? 19 times.

[Daniel Lippman]

Gonna kill you to put on a mermaid tail.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And a bandana over your eyes. Who cares?

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Come on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are you in the Tour de France?

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, you got two out of three.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's. That's really good. That's really good. I don't remember any of the questions, but I'm very proud of you because.

[Daniel Lippman]

You did so well.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

You answered it and moved on with your life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tell us. Tell us what? We won.

[Daniel Lippman]

You won. Me being so kind right now and just showering you in these things.

[Matthew Lippman]

Thank you. I do.

[Daniel Lippman]

You both needed. Let's be honest, you needed to hear this today.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is why we came. And we were hoping.

[Daniel Lippman]

You called me this morning crying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I didn't think we would get it. We have a lot going on.

[Matthew Lippman]

I came for a boost. Came to get my bucket filled.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm happy right now.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay. We have a new thing we're going to do because I have a lot of listeners screaming at my answers frequently that I'm not impartial. And so I'm going to have Anneliese do one round of Gift or a Curse for both of us. And so Anneliese has thought of a list of things that we're not aware of, and we're going to both try to win. Okay, Annalies, what are we doing here?

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right. Gift or a Curse?

[Daniel Lippman]

When goldfish crackers were temporarily renamed Chilean sea bass crackers to appeal to adults. Hmm. When was this? Just this last week, actually. Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What?

[Daniel Lippman]

See, this is. I don't keep up with the news.

[Matthew Lippman]

Most kids who eat them don't know what the name is, but that's the point. Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, they're fishies, right?

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Isn't Chilean sea bass, like, a misnomer, too? Isn't that. Isn't it, like.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, is interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Isn't it called, like, South American crud fish or something? And they like. Yes, yes.

[Matthew Lippman]

South American mud crud.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mud crud.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's a mudcrud.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So they tried to rename it.

[Daniel Lippman]

Rename it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Would you like to answer first?

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, I Can go first. I hate this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Daniel Lippman]

I mean, just. Annalise, reading that made me mad. I feel like this is a bad idea. I don't like when a company tries to have fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

I also just don't want to think about other fish when I'm eating goldfish crackers. And when these companies do these stunts, I'm off board.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right?

[Daniel Lippman]

Permanently. I won't buy. I won't buy the brand ever again. They've lost me as a customer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I agree.

[Matthew Lippman]

It's not a fish. Like, you wouldn't be like, hey, yeah, I'm a pescatarian. Only eat Chilean sea bass crackers. That's nonsense.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But also, naming it specifically makes it really actually sound like an animal. When it. Before, I never associated the cracker with an animal. And now I'm thinking, like, it actually.

[Matthew Lippman]

Is like, Teddy Grahams. I'm not like, ooh, look at this small bear. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you actually are like, yeah, I do like eating it.

[Matthew Lippman]

I do like eating bear meat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You hate bears.

[Daniel Lippman]

You don't like the taste of the cracker at all?

[Matthew Lippman]

No.

[Daniel Lippman]

What makes you gag?

[Matthew Lippman]

No, I like bear meat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bear meat, I read recently, is the number one source of trichinosis in undercooked bear meat.

[Daniel Lippman]

Really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. More than pork? Fascinatingly so. Definitely they're not naming Teddy Grahams anytime soon. Trichinosis grams or bear meat grams.

[Matthew Lippman]

Bear meat grams, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It also sounds like something you could send someone, like a letter, like, telegram, Singing beat Graham written on bear meat. That's awesome.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, I personally think it's a curse. I don't like when a company ever, ever has fun.

[Matthew Lippman]

I agree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I agree.

[Matthew Lippman]

Keep it straight down the middle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm gonna give that answer, but I also kind of think it's a gift because it's so idiotic that I like seeing people do dumb stuff like that. I will go with curse, ultimately. Cause it's horrifying.

[Daniel Lippman]

Anneliese, how'd we do?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're all correct.

[Daniel Lippman]

But the reason is something that hasn't been mentioned yet to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If this company, If Pepperidge Farm, has.

[Daniel Lippman]

To employ a stunt to get people to eat goldfish, what is going on with our society? They're the most popular.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are the youth of America not eating goldfish anymore?

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, this is interesting. Are they going out of business?

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, is Pepperidge doing sustainable farming?

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, that's another good question.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are they doing regenerative farming of their.

[Daniel Lippman]

Of their fish, of these goldfish?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, what's next? I mean, do we have to worry About Milanos and Sausalitos. I mean, what else? The Pepperidge Farm.

[Daniel Lippman]

And then you start wondering of the mercury content in any of this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Matthew Lippman]

That's what I'm saying.

[Daniel Lippman]

So they've brought a bad spotlight onto the brand.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. They've committed brand suicide.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think they've sullied the brand, honestly, to a point now where I think it's the kind of thing where we go and, like, burn Pepperidge Farm products in parking lots of grocery stores.

[Matthew Lippman]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the only thing I could suggest to your listeners right now, if I may. Can I speak to them? I mean, I think everyone needs to go speak directly to them. I think the point of this podcast was to get to this. Of like, go and don't buy them. I think Mass steel.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah. They have to be stolen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Otherwise Pepper Farm doesn't care. And the grocery store is just going to reorder.

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, it doesn't burn the same unless it's stolen.

[Daniel Lippman]

Right. Hijack the trucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, yes.

[Daniel Lippman]

Whatever it takes. Go to the factories themselves.

[Matthew Lippman]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just.

[Matthew Lippman]

Just go work there. Walk out.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, company wide. Walk out. Absolutely. If you're still working there right now, you're a coward.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're a scab.

[Daniel Lippman]

Get out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get out. Get out immediately. Okay, well, that settles out.

[Daniel Lippman]

We settled it, Annelise. Thank you. We all won. For now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

God, would that be funny if Pepperidge Farm tanked?

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay, this is the final segment of the podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Got it.

[Daniel Lippman]

This is called I said no emails. People write into I said no giftsmail.com. you should know now that all of my listeners have desperate lives. They're just grabbing at whatever they can take. They. Everything's out of control, of course, and they need as much help as they can get. And so that's why they.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't blame them.

[Daniel Lippman]

Panic and write an email to a podcast. They have no one left.

[Matthew Lippman]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

So would you help me answer a question?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure. Sure.

[Daniel Lippman]

Okay. This is. Hello, friends. My girlfriend's birthday is just. That's a little familiar, too. Hello, friends. Anyway, my girlfriend's birthday is just a few days before Christmas, and as a result, she has been plagued by a lifetime of birthday Christmas combo gifts. One gift for two events. Truly bullshit. As the caring and doting girlfriend that I am, I am committed to never imposing this harm on her. I have already picked out a gift for her birthday. Nice boots. That will nearly deplete the gift budget. I'm hoping you can suggest a wallet friendly Christmas gift that won't be a total letdown. Her interests include woodworking, houseplants travel and art. Okay, thanks. Love you. Bye, Libby.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, first of all, let's talk about the issue. I. Totally understandable. Right? I mean, that's.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, I think there's another. I mean, I think there's another issue here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't. Don't say what I think you're going.

[Daniel Lippman]

To say that we're dealing with lesbians. I didn't realize we had any lesbians. Listening to the podcast. This is unfortunately the final episode. I'm so sorry to everyone. I'm sorry to all the listeners that thought they were comfortable in a straight space. And you can see him, right?

[Matthew Lippman]

He's furiously packing up his belong, talking to the mice, hastily packing up his.

[Daniel Lippman]

Belongings, crying, just so confused.

[Matthew Lippman]

Everything's going into a banker's box.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, I brought the banker's box.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He always brings it just in case he's gonna storm off.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Just in case he needs to pack up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I quit. Okay.

[Matthew Lippman]

I. Yes, I get it. I get the plight of this person. I wonder if they haven't gotten over.

[Daniel Lippman]

Right. Grow up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a grown up here. Yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

This is a grown, grown up person. Right?

[Daniel Lippman]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. I mean, that being said, you know, everyone, even adults, especially when you're in a relationship like this, people like your birthday's like the day before your birthday, then you get a big thing and then it's like you get time and then you get a full. Most people get a full birthday and a full gift winter holiday.

[Matthew Lippman]

But I feel like this person has got the best of both worlds. It's like you get your birthday, then you get the post birthday letdown, and then bam, you're right in the smash.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

Here comes Santa Claus.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, here comes Santa.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's beginning to feel a lot like her birthday.

[Matthew Lippman]

Well, that sucks. That's. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, when they're doing.

[Matthew Lippman]

When they're dreaming of a white birthday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your birthday. Yeah, that's bad.

[Matthew Lippman]

That sucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't. Yes. Obviously the parody songs will get old very quickly.

[Daniel Lippman]

Right? Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That being said, if this is the type of person who's never been exposed to parody songs, could they gift.

[Daniel Lippman]

Ooh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or I don't know, is there someone they know maybe on this podcast who could compose a song for them?

[Daniel Lippman]

You're really asking for it right now. People are going to demand that you write a parody song if your birthday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is within one day of Christmas.

[Matthew Lippman]

What was the call to action? They need a pitch for a wallet friendly gift that they already got.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nice pants.

[Daniel Lippman]

What I'm hearing, I want to know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What the Boots are.

[Daniel Lippman]

Is that Libby?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

Don't buy such nice boots.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Daniel Lippman]

Buy worse boots and a worse other gift.

[Matthew Lippman]

Right. You sort of wait too big, too early.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your pitch is two bad gifts.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, no, but just like, stay within budget. You should like, it's. You know what the budget is.

[Daniel Lippman]

She blows it on the one thing the next gift is going to be.

[Matthew Lippman]

Now she's floundering.

[Daniel Lippman]

Absolutely floundering. The relationship is crumbling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. She's going to have to do some woodworking.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is why neither of you have. Are in long, committed relationships.

[Daniel Lippman]

I'm breaking up with Jim right now. This why nobody podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is why nobody loves you guys. Okay. I see plants as a very good in. For a wallet friendly. I mean, I don't know what are the boots? Like, if there's a thousand. Did you spend 980 on the boots? Like, how much? But you can get a very thoughtful cool like rare plant somewhere or do some research and get something that someone can. Some, by the way, seeds. My wife loves planting stuff. Gardening. You can always get cool seeds to plants, by the way. Okay, here's another pitch. Go. I don't know where this person lives. They.

[Daniel Lippman]

No, we don't know where they live.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We can assume in like Los Angeles, we have these beautiful.

[Daniel Lippman]

Assume. Of course they're in hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Assume. A total, like, dump of a city.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That has no gardens.

[Matthew Lippman]

Like a Santa Monica.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God, no.

[Daniel Lippman]

Honor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Our. Our city here, Los Angeles area has a lot of gardens you can go to. Like, beautiful. There's Huntington Garden. There's.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, a garden tour.

[Matthew Lippman]

An experience.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something that's not just a gift.

[Daniel Lippman]

Like, get out of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Put the boots to the. Wait, the boots. Christmas or birthday.

[Daniel Lippman]

I assume birthdays first.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So then Chris on Christmas make her walk to a garden alone to test the boots out.

[Matthew Lippman]

Alone. And if she comes back, and if she comes back, it's love.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You get a tiny plant that I bought you.

[Matthew Lippman]

But isn't the Christmas tree a plant?

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, interesting. So now that's being over the plants shattered by this beautiful tree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Remind me one more time. Besides. Besides plants.

[Daniel Lippman]

It was woodworking.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Woodworking. Wood is so cheap. Yeah.

[Daniel Lippman]

What are we talking about? Picture of a place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. No. Yeah. There's get out of town art. Well, you can't get out of town because you can't afford it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. Because you bought the boots.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I hope you like the boots because you're not getting out of town anytime soon.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, there are.

[Matthew Lippman]

There's some nice travel books out there.

[Daniel Lippman]

There are coffee table books.

[Matthew Lippman]

Coffee hotels, coffee table.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A hunk of wood is easy, by the way. Vintage woodworking tool. Very cool stuff. You can look on Etsy or ebay.

[Matthew Lippman]

Gardening tools.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gardening tools, something like that. They like plants. I mean, this is easy. I feel like. I feel like her first thing. I think her first thing was I have to think of a gift. I will email a podcast instead of giving it one second of thought.

[Daniel Lippman]

Because she doesn't care about her girlfriend. No, clearly this is a cry for help.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not like her first. Like her other interesting include like race cars and fur coats. Like, these are things that are incredibly.

[Matthew Lippman]

These are things that can be found.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gold bars. Her hobby is gold.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah. No, this is like she loves dust, mud and leftovers.

[Daniel Lippman]

Eggshells, found paper, rotting vegetables.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I. I don't know what to do. Honestly, I'm at a loss.

[Matthew Lippman]

She's a string cheese enthusiast. The boots really scratching my head.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The really set me back.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, I feel like that answers it. Lynn, you can't take whatever was just said and create the ultimate gift.

[Matthew Lippman]

I would say look for something in the interest that's vintage or unique.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unique. Honestly, half the battle is just the thought that goes in. I know that's a bit of a thing that I always say and no one else has ever said.

[Matthew Lippman]

You've always said that there's only one thing that counts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In terms of things that count. The thought would probably be the one is how I say it. But I honestly think, A, we helped. B, maybe I should be the correspondent for gift suggestions.

[Daniel Lippman]

I think you should. I think we're gonna call you in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think if I was like the kind of voice of God kind of thing who came in.

[Daniel Lippman]

Producer, you're angling for Annaliese's job.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, listen, I don't love the way the show's produced right now, and.

[Daniel Lippman]

Annalise is always hanging by a thread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like I did not love the attitud, but none of us do. I'm out of water. I ran in quietly.

[Matthew Lippman]

When I walked in, she did the thing with her thumb and then slid it across her throat to me.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, you're constantly threatening guests.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, like Ben Stiller in Happy Gilmore. I did not love that.

[Matthew Lippman]

She offered me a warm glass to shut the hell up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, she sent me to the wrong address, so.

[Daniel Lippman]

And. But, you know, these things we tolerate. Yes, we obviously tolerate. But maybe we could bring you in as a shadow person for a period. See how you do when I come.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In with the exact same wardrobe as Anneliese and then you get rid of her.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yes, exactly. I obviously have a history of doing it.

[Matthew Lippman]

Just have Matthew sitting in the wings.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Just with the exact same look. She's like, how you doing? Oh, by the way, Bridger wants to talk to you.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yeah, I always have the replacement. Tell the person, send them into your office.

[Matthew Lippman]

The boss would like a word.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was nice. It's nice working with you.

[Daniel Lippman]

As they're dressed identically with a matching wig.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yes, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's the only way to do it.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, we answered that perfectly, Libby. Do not write back in. And Now I've got $30 and my $35 sewage fund. Who knows what? I'm gonna spiral out of control here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is wild.

[Daniel Lippman]

This is the best job I've had this year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't wait with the extra 35. Now you're really approaching, like, extravagant entree price.

[Daniel Lippman]

Yes, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So that's just gonna. And we're closing in on, like, tomahaw here.

[Matthew Lippman]

But you're far shy of boots.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Lippman]

So keep working.

[Daniel Lippman]

I will not be buying any boots.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's actually not true. The boots she's talking about, they were $56.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yeah, 56.95.

[Daniel Lippman]

You bought the same pair you're wearing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

These are the ones. Same boots. Yep.

[Daniel Lippman]

They go all the way up to your neck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Matthew Lippman]

Yep.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They got overall straps, waterproof, and they have a hood. I love a hooded boot.

[Matthew Lippman]

Hooded boot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a great. It's a great item.

[Daniel Lippman]

Well, I'm so happy you two finally came.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, delightful.

[Daniel Lippman]

Thank you for finally. I'm so happy to see you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was a treat.

[Daniel Lippman]

And thank you for bringing this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's our pleasure. Please use it in good health.

[Daniel Lippman]

Oh, I absolutely will. And listener, the podcast is screeching to a halt as usual. I haven't given you. Well, actually, I have given you plenty of evidence. I feel like there's a rhythm towards the end of a podcast that most listeners get used to and then there capable of emotionally carrying on with the rest of their day. So if that's not you, I don't. I'm not in control of your life, and I'm not responsible for anything you do for the rest of the day. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Annelise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. That's where you're going, to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I invited you here. Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my heart home, you got to come to me empty handed. I said no. Guess your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?