Edi Patterson Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: Edi Patterson Disobeys Bridger

Introduction

In the April 17, 2025 episode of I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar, host Bridger Winegar welcomes actress and comedian Edi Patterson. Known for her sharp wit and memorable roles, Edi joins Bridger for an evening filled with laughter, heartfelt conversations, and, inevitably, gifts—despite Bridger's clear request otherwise.

Discussion Topics

Gift Cards and Personal Finance

The conversation kicks off with Bridger and Edi delving into the quirks of gift cards. Both express a shared frustration over accumulating unused gift cards, highlighting a common dilemma many face.

Edi Patterson (05:11): "It's like an obvious mistake I'm making. And I'm sure these gift card companies especially count on people like me to not use the money."

Bridger echoes this sentiment, discussing his own struggles with organizing and utilizing gift cards effectively.

Cats and Pets

Transitioning to a lighter topic, Bridger and Edi share stories about their feline companions. Bridger introduces his mother's cat, Ms. Pris, a former feral cat now comfortably settled indoors. They reminisce about past pets and the unique personalities cats bring into their lives.

Bridger Weiniger (07:10): "She's funny. But she’s really aggressive."

Edi relates by recalling her own cats and the joy they added to her household.

Horror Movies and Creative Pursuits

Both hosts reveal their love for horror movies, with a particular emphasis on classics like The Shining and Halloween. They discuss their creative endeavors in making horror-themed projects during their younger years, sharing humorous anecdotes about their attempts at filmmaking.

Edi Patterson (21:00): "I adore horror movies."

Bridger adds to the conversation by describing his early attempts at creating mini slasher films with friends, complete with makeshift props and DIY special effects.

Edi Disobeys the "No Gifts" Rule

As the episode progresses, the anticipated moment arrives—Edi brings a gift to the studio, flagrantly disregarding Bridger's request for guests to come empty-handed.

Bridger Weiniger (33:54): "I have to say that Edi is solely responsible for this."

Edi arrives holding a beautifully wrapped package, setting the stage for a playful exchange.

Opening Gifts

The duo embarks on the humorous task of unwrapping Edi's gifts, which include a can of Fritos Bean Dip, Funyuns, Gushers, and Muddy Bites. Their reactions range from amusement to playful disgust as they sample each item.

Edi Patterson (37:25): "This is exactly what I just called it. Refried beans. It's Fritos bean dip."

Bridger and Edi explore the peculiar tastes and textures of these gifts, turning the opening into an entertaining segment filled with banter and light-hearted critiques.

Game Segment: "Gift or Curse"

Bridger and Edi engage in a lively game called "Gift or Curse," where they assess various situations sent in by listeners to determine if they are beneficial (gifts) or problematic (curses).

1. Going Through the Drive-Thru (Listener: Brit)

   • Bridger: "Gift. They probably were just trying to do something nice."
   • Edi: "Curse. It's like a subtle PI move."

2. Standing on Escalators (Listener: Brent)

   • Bridger: "Curse. People should keep it moving."
   • Edi: "Curse. It disrupts the flow and can be infuriating."

3. Keyless Ignitions in Cars (Listener: Mackenzie)

   • Bridger: "Gift. Convenience and efficiency."
   • Edi: "Curse. Miss the tactile experience of key turning."

The game showcases their differing perspectives and sharp comedic timing, providing listeners with both entertainment and relatable insights.

Listener Question: What to Gift a 101-Year-Old Grandma

Closing the episode, Bridger and Edi address a heartfelt listener question from Anne, who seeks advice on what to gift her 101-year-old grandmother. They offer thoughtful suggestions tailored to her grandmother's elegance and love for white wine.

Bridger Weiniger (76:08): "Maybe a unique piece of jewelry or a memorable trip to a winery."

Edi Patterson (76:32): "A charm bracelet with wine bottles is a lovely idea."

Their responses blend practicality with sentimental value, emphasizing meaningful gestures over materialistic offerings.

Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Bridger and Edi maintain a balance of humor, personal storytelling, and engaging dialogue. Edi's delightful defiance of the "no gifts" rule leads to memorable moments that encapsulate the podcast's comedic essence. The episode wraps up with warm farewells, leaving listeners both entertained and touched by the authentic connection shared between host and guest.

Notable Quotes

• Bridger Weiniger (34:13): "It's a full pate."
• Edi Patterson (37:25): "This is Fritos bean dip."
• Edi Patterson (69:08): "Molly seems like a grandma drug."
• Bridger Weiniger (75:01): "I think you may be right."

Final Thoughts

Edi Patterson's appearance on I Said No Gifts! not only provides laughter and entertainment but also offers a glimpse into the personal lives and shared interests of the hosts. From quirky gift mishaps to deep dives into favorite movies and creative projects, this episode is a testament to the show's ability to blend comedy with genuine conversation.

Transcript

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is exactly right. PayPal lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper? You mean the beanbag chair? Aren't we getting a mini fridge? Can we create a pool on PayPal?

[Edie Patterson]

It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh yes, that's smart. Glad we can agree on something easily. Pool split and Send Money with PayPal get started in the PayPal app. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money. A balance account is required to create a pool.

[Edie Patterson]

At Designer Shoe Warehouse we believe that shoes are an important part of, well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everything from first steps to first dates, from all nighters to all time personal bests.

[Edie Patterson]

From building pillow forts to building a mud for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there every and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Brands you love at brag worthy prices.

[Edie Patterson]

At your DSW store or dsw.com hey.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It'S Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway with the Stock up sale at Safeway and Albertsons. Stock up and earn four times points at your local store when you purchase participating products. Save on household essentials from General Mills, Kellogg's, Philadelphia Quaker and Tide. Clip the offer in the app for event savings and look for participating items throughout the store. Shop in store or online. Plus you can even have your groceries delivered or use Drive up and go to have your groceries brought to your car at the store. Restrictions and exclusions applied. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me me empty handed. I said no gifts. Your presence is present enough and I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me?

[Edie Patterson]

Before the podcast begins, a reminder that Chicago Live show is coming up at the Den theater May 23. You have to be there. If you're in Chicago or not, you have to be there. That's just simply what you have to do. So google it, go to our Instagram, look in the show notes, you know, look around the Internet for the tickets and we're going to have a fantastic time. We'll have special guests I'll be wearing who God knows what and you know, maybe I'll bring some gifts I've received on the podcast to give away. You really never know what will happen with me because I am. I don't have a lot of control over my life and you'll get to experience that live. So The Den Theater, May 23, 7:30pm no excuses now, let's get into the show. Welcome to I said no Gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're here in the studio. You might be listening, you might be watching on YouTube. You might be ignoring all of this completely. God only knows what's happening in my life. Busy morning. I threw away the quesadilla that had been sitting in the fridge for about six days. So if you wanted that, you're out of luck. I'm on edge. I've been trying to book travel through credit card points for at least four days, and this is a real sore spot for me, a very difficult thing for me. Anytime I'm on an online portal spending any, anything involving money, let alone credit card points, I'm paralyzed. So everybody just nobody try me. That's, that's what I'll say. Don't push me. Okay, time to get into the podcast. I adore today's guest. Everybody loves her. It's Edie Patterson. Edie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, hi, Bridger.

[Edie Patterson]

Welcome to I said no Gifts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, thank you for having me.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm sorry to bring you here on such stress day for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, well, me too. I'm with you, though, on that. Like, trying to get something with points. Oh, it's existential.

[Edie Patterson]

It is. It's a, a weird thing for me because I'm a. The sort of person who uses, like, treats gift cards, like they're more important than cash.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Edie Patterson]

I like, I, if I get a gift card, the way I protect it, on how I'm going to spend it is psychotic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Same. Same. I've actually had, and I know what you mean now because I actually have had ones like that. I've put in places like in a little holder on my desk or I've tacked them to some sort of bulletin board to go, well, that one's for something special. And then they run out.

[Edie Patterson]

They run out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Or inflation goes up and they lose value. It's really, it's like an obvious mistake I'm making. And I'm sure these, these gift card companies especially, really count on people like me to not use the money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Agreed.

[Edie Patterson]

I honestly, like, there was a point I had saved up enough gift cards that I probably could have bought a house, at least put a down payment on. But this is the sort of, I'm just completely paralyzed. It's going to be like, this is going to be my special thing. I won't spend that on groceries.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And Then you go, why wouldn't I?

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, it's the same. It's all money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

But I'm looking to treat myself, but the problem is I'm impossible. I can't treat myself in any form ever. So then I'm just. The gift card is sitting at the bottom of my sock drawer for the rest of my life. And now the same with the credit card points. But then they have the online portal, which is like something that hasn't been updated since 2005. It's frustrating. You're mad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Seriously.

[Edie Patterson]

Horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's horrible. And I still haven't figured out how to do the airline ones. Oh, I can do hotel ones.

[Edie Patterson]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I still haven't figured out the other. And that's infuriating.

[Edie Patterson]

And I've been told that. I've been told the airline ones are. It's trickier because airline prices are. They fluctuate so much more. And the points. I think people love this. People love to listen to. Anyway, credit card points. I'm making my way through and I'm aging rapidly while I do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I get it.

[Edie Patterson]

Have you traveled at all recently?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Went to Texas and came back here from Texas.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. And you're from Texas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm from there. And my mom was there for a minute and went and got her.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And her cat, and we came here. That was probably a month ago.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. What's the cat's name?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ms. Pris.

[Edie Patterson]

I love this. Are you a cat person?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. Do you have cats of your own?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I used to. My husband and I had the greatest cats on Earth. Veruca and Violet.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, fantastic names.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They have both since passed, but they're the greatest. And Ms. Priss is my mom's cat who was a full on feral Texas cat.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, I love this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And for whatever reason, just always loved my mom and would let my mom pet her in the backyard. And then my sister and I just decided this cat is really cute and she's gonna be your cat.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And she is. And now she's fully an inside cat. And she is weirdly small. She's maybe some kind of mini.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But she looks like a Disney cat. Seriously?

[Edie Patterson]

Is she fluffy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's fluffy. She's little. She's. She's hilarious. But yeah. Do you like cats?

[Edie Patterson]

I love cats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think they're magic.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, they're fantastic. When people don't like cats, I think it says something about how much attention and love you need if. Or I guess attention if you don't like cats. Because cats will totally. Are Very selective.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

And I love dogs, too, but dogs will give their full attention to just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

About anyone, any fucking Yahoo.

[Edie Patterson]

They're not super discerning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. In a cat, you kind of have to, like, figure out their magic and figure out their layers and like. Yeah. They're mystical and awesome and I love them.

[Edie Patterson]

Yes. Yes. I had two cats, I guess, about 10 years ago, and then through all the moving back and forth from LA to New York, we ended up having to find a new home for them. And they now live with a YouTube magician.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, how's that going?

[Edie Patterson]

I haven't looked into it. I think it seemed like a lovely home. Seemed like a family and a teen YouTube magician. I thought, you know what? Sure, this will work. They seem like they love cats, but maybe my cats have become YouTube stars. I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, let's just hope that he. Is it a boy magician?

[Edie Patterson]

It's a boy magician.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's just hope he's not, like, doing them like doves.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what I mean? We're not trying to get any of that magic for your cats.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah. They're like, crushed in the bottom of a top. Ha. Or that kind of thing. No, thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, somebody did doves once when I got invited to the Magic Castle, and it was just so upsetting.

[Edie Patterson]

What did they? Do they come out of a jacket or do they.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, out of a jacket, out of their pants, out of, like. It's just like every single second of it, you're just like. You just had a live creature jammed in there with your balls. Are like, you. Oh, cool. You just pulled nine doves out of a hat. Oh. Like, what are we supposed to be stoked at?

[Edie Patterson]

Right. There just. There are so many magic tricks you could do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

No one's like, specifically like, I hope I see the doves tonight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no one.

[Edie Patterson]

No one wants to see a live bird anywhere inside. Just free flying around inside.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Do some weird human stuff. Like, you're. You're weird woman assistant. Like, why don't you guys chop each other up?

[Edie Patterson]

Cut each other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Let's see the midsection of one of you. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see the rings of your tree.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah. I mean, I think if I were, like, going to a magic show and expected to see an animal, I might be like, oh, I got to see a rabbit. But even then it's like, just leave it alone. Because, you know, it's not their pet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

They're not treating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's their working animal.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah. Their little employee. That's not fair to Anybody?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no, thanks.

[Edie Patterson]

I just last night, out of desperation, tried to start this new David Blaine series. Have you seen this?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just was flipping through with my mom last night at Cedars Sinai, and the TV is totally blue.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because something's wrong with it. But we were on the guide, and we ended up on just something else dumb. Maybe like a murder show or something. But I saw that David Blaine thing, and I was like, he has a new show.

[Edie Patterson]

He's got a whole new.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What is this?

[Edie Patterson]

Documentary style. In conjunction with National Geographic, which was shocking to me. I don't know if he's elevated or they've declined. I don't know. They met somewhere in the middle. But last night he was in Brazil, and what we were seeing was people not doing magic tricks, which shouldn't be that big of a shock because he holds his breath or whatever, he floats. But this was like, people sticking, like, a knife in their nose through their nostril, which is a hard thing to look at.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

People chewing up and swallowing nails.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, boy. That old trope.

[Edie Patterson]

It's either doves or swallowing nails.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Sheesh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't swallow nails around me. Unless you're gonna poop them out on the sidewalk. Then. That might be interesting.

[Edie Patterson]

I better hear metal hitting cement as you walk away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Exactly.

[Edie Patterson]

No, we didn't watch the whole thing because it was just kind of a difficult to look at sort of thing. Just people doing shocking. It's more dares.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, got it.

[Edie Patterson]

Dares to me are not. I don't know, it's not as much fun. I need to be tricked.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Agreed. Because on a dare, the whole time, you would be thinking like, oh, this person just got dared to do this. They're gonna get hurt.

[Edie Patterson]

Yes. There's just a risk here, and someone is desperate for attention, and they finally decided they'll do whatever it takes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ye.

[Edie Patterson]

Maybe I need to give it more of a shot. I will say David Blaine as a narrator. Tough. Tough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Edie Patterson]

I don't know that he was born to narrate television. It is the most monotone thing I have ever heard. It's zero inflection whatsoever. It's just. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And is it partly trying to be, like, super serious?

[Edie Patterson]

Like, I think so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's take everything like this, because I want you to know it's facts.

[Edie Patterson]

But it's not even that as much as, like, I think it's an attempt at that, but not having the ability to even do that. So it's just flat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Edie Patterson]

Feels like he's reading for the first time the narration And I know he wants to keep control of the show, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on.

[Edie Patterson]

Come on, Dave.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on, D.B. come on, baby.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, when was the last time you were at the Magic Castle?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's been a long time. That was probably. Oh, you know what? We actually had a friend doing really cool stuff there. I'm like, what brought me there? Yeah. My husband and I went with my friend Jeremy Rowley and his wife, Dani Morrow, and we were going to see our friend Helder, who's like a legit.

[Edie Patterson]

Amazing, great name for a magician.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Helder.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. He does these really cool, like, really elevated, kind of social experiment, thought experiment, magic shows. He'll do them at the Geffen. And, like.

[Edie Patterson]

And so what is he doing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's like, man, it's it. It's almost like a play, but with magic in it. At the Magic Castle, I think he was doing up close.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Card stuff.

[Edie Patterson]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But like, the shows that we've seen at the Geffen and stuff, I mean, they're super emotional, like, manipulative. Well, no, weirdly. Yeah. Just like, he's like. It's very honestly elevated. It's almost like you're watching a, like the PBS version of, like, When People Find Their Roots, you know?

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. He manages to weave in some, like, really cool, complex, human stuff.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

And you're friends with this guy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Wow. Good for you. How did you become friends with Hilder?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I think I became friends with him because he just started coming to. I think he was friends with Jeremy and he started coming to improv shows at the Groundlings.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And saw the sort of the tie ins with what he's doing and sort of. I'm a nerd for improv.

[Edie Patterson]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And he sort of was very fascinated and interested in the kind of higher thinking that can go with improv.

[Edie Patterson]

Right, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This sort of openness and how it can, you know, translate into real life.

[Edie Patterson]

Uh huh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

And do you feel like he's putting that into his show now?

[Bridger Weiniger]

For sure. I mean, he's very bright.

[Edie Patterson]

I need to get into Helder.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Seriously? Yeah, his. I think I'm saying his last name right. But I think it's Guinamares. Ooh, yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

What is that guy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to say Argentinian.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. Just like a rolled something there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Helder to me sounded so Scandinavian.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. Interesting. Heldr. Yeah. Helder Guidar, I think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think this is how you say it. It's either Guinamadis or Guinamadis. I don't know.

[Edie Patterson]

There's a reason he goes by Helder. Just a nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everybody can say Helder just to maybe, like, white creeps. There's a reason, but everyone else is probably fine with it and knows exactly how to say his last name.

[Edie Patterson]

In middle school, I think a magic shop opened in our mall, and I bought. I felt like I was going to try to do magic for about a month. Did you do anything like that in middle school? Any weird little hobbies?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I just. That vein of things, I think probably I just gravitated more toward the sort of sketch.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, so you really like comedy early on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I always liked it.

[Edie Patterson]

Right, right. Yeah, yeah. To me, in middle school, it just didn't seem like a possibility whatsoever.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it didn't really to me either. And then in middle school, actually, these three friends and I wrote this. There was a talent show at school, and we wrote this Dating Game parody.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

On the. We didn't have cable at my house, but on the regular channels, there were a couple of them that had constant reruns and stuff. And so they'd have, like, Brady Bunch, Love Boat, like, Green Acres, like, all that cool stuff. Petticoat Junction. And within that mix, there was, like, a chunk of, like, 60s game shows.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which was awesome.

[Edie Patterson]

Dream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And so we always thought that was so funny. The weird dynamic with the people on it and, like, how weirdly sexist it was. And, like, they're always talking about making whoopee, which we were.

[Edie Patterson]

Like, making whoopee is one of the worst things that anyone has ever thought of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's the worst.

[Edie Patterson]

God, that's one of those, like, things that's trying not to be as crass, and it somehow ends up being way more disgusting than the actual term fully. It's like, oh, we're all sick hearing that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's sick hearing.

[Edie Patterson]

What does it mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What does it mean? Ew.

[Edie Patterson]

It's just, to me, like, there's like an inflation. Yeah, there's like something puffy and Something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Puffy and inflated that's gonna pop.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And like. Yeah, it's. It's like a fake fun. It's like, oh, whoopee. It's. Oh.

[Edie Patterson]

And it brings. Yeah, it kind of brings like, an adolescent weirdness to it. Like, everything about. It's just like, this is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Should not be repeated anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally. But we thought many aspects of the, you know, the Dating Game were really, really funny. And so we did a Dating Game sketch where three of us were the guys and one was. One was like a football Jock one was a businessman and I was the nerd. And it was of that time period where, like, it was full on, like, idea of a nerd. So I had a pocket protector and, like, black glasses, right?

[Edie Patterson]

Pre Incel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, Pre Incel. Yeah. God, being a nerd now would be a whole other thing.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, my God, it brings on so much dangerous baggage.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally does.

[Edie Patterson]

Nerds have had a real journey over the last 20 years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, man. Take us back to pocket protectors, please.

[Edie Patterson]

That's all we want. Be quiet and do math.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But yeah, we wrote it and we performed it, and I remembered just that feeling. Cause, look, let me just tell you not to brag, but the nerd got a lot of laughs. And just feeling that and going, oh, maybe this is a thing that could be my job. That was the first time ever that I thought, especially from a small city.

[Edie Patterson]

In Texas, I didn't know anyone doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, where'd you grow up?

[Edie Patterson]

Right outside of Salt Lake City. So it's just like, you don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anyone doing anything like that.

[Edie Patterson]

That's something that people on TV do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally.

[Edie Patterson]

Why would I be able to do that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? And no one around you thinks that it's a thing.

[Edie Patterson]

The idea of even going to college out of state was like, no, totally. That's not for people like me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, same.

[Edie Patterson]

So, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But yeah, that's, I guess when it sort of popped off. But probably even before that, I was trying to make in the mix with me loving comedy and loving hilarious things. I also loved horror and we were.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My dad loved horror and we were allowed to watch horror movies way too young, my sister and I. So we're both still. We both still love it. But I would make horror movies.

[Edie Patterson]

Horror movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think probably favorite of all time is the Shining.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, of course. So good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unbeatable, kind of.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, I think that's kind of like almost above horror even.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Agreed.

[Edie Patterson]

So good. It's just such a good movie and so scary.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Just fantastic. And you would make your own horror movies?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I'd make them in VHS camera and would just like, sort of. It would be all one take, of course. Start again. Put something here. Pause. Start it again. But I liked making little mini slasher movies.

[Edie Patterson]

Do you have any still on vhs?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, somewhere at my mom's house. Oh, my God, you've got the Hunter. There's Gunther, Son of Hunter. Somewhere there's a. There's one I made in high school. My friend. My friend in high school, Sherry, her. Her mom and dad sometimes would just go do Cool things. And every now and then it'd be like, you know, six or seven of us just spending the night at Sherry's.

[Edie Patterson]

With no kids while the parents were amazing. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And so there were more than a couple of times where I would force everyone to be in a horror movie all night. And I'd be, you know, placing them at the end of the stairs, the bottom of the stairs. Like they just, you know, we'd film like my friend Holly, sort of a hand pushing her at the top of the stairs. Pause the camera, film her at the bottom, like splayed, you know.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, that's amazing. They were all slasher stuff, of course. Were you making up your own fake blood? Was it ketchup?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what, we only messed with blood, I feel like once maybe when I made my, I think then 4 year old cousin Bradley, he was Gunther, son of Hunter, and he was a murderer. And I think in that one we played with some ketchup and stuff.

[Edie Patterson]

What was the storyline? Wait, did you say it was Night of the Hunter?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Which is actually another horror, which is.

[Edie Patterson]

Actually kind of creepy. Wow. So you were really, you were a born natural.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I must have heard someone say that.

[Edie Patterson]

It's such a good phrase. Night of the Hunter sounds so scary. What was your Night of the Hunter then?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just like somebody going around and killing people. So, you know, probably my sister in my dad's clothes killing our neighbor, friends.

[Edie Patterson]

Little girl in baggy clothes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, yes. Gunther though had extra special elements. That one was filmed at my grandmom's house in Grange, Texas. And for a while my grandmom collected. She was very into collecting teddy bears.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So there were sort of like upper rails in a certain room full of teddy bears. And one of those teddy bears was also a murderer. And we would play with like having it enter frame and you don't see the hand. And yeah, that Gunther, son of Hunter got a little wild.

[Edie Patterson]

Did Gunther team up with the teddy bear?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think. I can't remember. Well, and then one of them killed the other one. I can't remember who. Who ended up the victor or if just everyone died.

[Edie Patterson]

This is how franchises are born though, seriously, you know, IP everywhere. You can do a movie about the teddy bear or Gunther.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Alien versus Predator sort of situation. Wow, that's incredible. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A message for everyone paying big wireless, way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying no judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway.

[Edie Patterson]

Give it a try.

[Bridger Weiniger]

@Mintmobile.Com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] hey, it's Ryan Seacrest.

[Ryan Seacrest]

For Albertsons and Safeway with the Stock up sale at Safeway and Albertsons. Stock up and earn four times points at your local store when you purchase participating products. Save on household essentials from General Mills, Kellogg's, Philadelphia Quaker and Tide. Clip the offer in the app for event savings and look for participating items throughout the store. Shop in store or online. Plus you can even have your groceries delivered or use drive up and go to have your groceries brought to your car at the store. Restrictions and exclusions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Edie Patterson]

At homes.com we do whatever it takes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To get you the in depth info on local schools you won't find anywhere else.

[Edie Patterson]

Things like student teacher ratio, test scores and school programs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And sometimes that requires attending school recitals.

[Edie Patterson]

So many recital.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's my son.

[Edie Patterson]

Isn't he terrific? Yeah, a real prodigy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Homes.com we've done your homework. Do you like horror or no?

[Edie Patterson]

I love horror.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay.

[Edie Patterson]

I adore horror movies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's your favorite ever?

[Edie Patterson]

I love the Shining.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

I love Halloween. I love the Haunting. The original. I think it was like in 60, made in 64 or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know if I've ever seen it.

[Edie Patterson]

It's unbelievable. Yeah, it's so good. It's so creepy and like in a way that like, you know, there aren't like a lot of like jump scares. It's just like pure atmosphere and dread and just watching a woman kind of lose her mind in a haunted house. Who could ask for more? I love haunted house movies and there aren't that many of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do too.

[Edie Patterson]

Or at least not many good ones.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. What are the good ones?

[Edie Patterson]

I love the others. That's a good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So good.

[Edie Patterson]

What other haunted house movies are there though?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Even the Conjuring, the original one with like Lily Taylor.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, that's a great one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pretty.

[Edie Patterson]

Yes. Yeah, I don't like the. I mean, I like them as scary movies enough. The found footage ones that are in a haunted house. What are those? They're newer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not paranormal activity.

[Edie Patterson]

Paranormal activity. But those to me don't seem haunted house. I need a haunted house to be kind of Victorian. I don't need it to be a new build. Agreed. I can't deal with a new build haunted house.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Agreed.

[Edie Patterson]

This looks too much like a condo or a model home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, thank you.

[Edie Patterson]

That's not scary to me. No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I need an old house.

[Edie Patterson]

Yes. I need creaking. I need door. Brass doorknobs, essentially.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So did you mess with skinamarink?

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, what's that? Just that. That's a scary word. Okay, what's it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So this is a haunted house. One that I think is all vibe.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, this is what I need.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like maybe from a year and a half ago.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, pretty new.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And it was super polarizing, but people either loved it or thought it was too slow. But there's something about the clips I've seen of it that I haven't even been able to watch.

[Edie Patterson]

It's called skidamarinx.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I think Skinnamarinx. And it's the. The premise is so creepy. It's just very like day in the life, if you can call it. But it's two little kids.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At home alone. Oh, like one of them, I think is even, like, not even old enough to be verbal.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, one's like a baby.

[Edie Patterson]

This is an eerie type of setup already.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And even just the trailer with the way it's lit and the sounds, I'm like, I don't know, man. I don't know if I can take this.

[Edie Patterson]

When evil spirits get involved with, you know, children. Not pre toddler. What are we talking about? Leave them alone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Leave them alone.

[Edie Patterson]

So scary. That kind of thing. When a child can see something that the adults don't see is so scary.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ew.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, thank you.

[Edie Patterson]

The other thing, and I say this on the podcast probably too often, that really scares me, is the strangers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Which is. That's a real life situation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So like a home invasion vibe. Yeah. You know what was such a cool, cool version of that was just pulling up my socks was the original. They redid it. The original one is, I think, German. Oh, but it's those guys who go in that house.

[Edie Patterson]

Funny, funny games. Oh, that's a tough movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you see that first one?

[Edie Patterson]

I didn't see the original. I saw the English remake or maybe I saw one or the other.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That original one is. Oof.

[Edie Patterson]

Just people showing up to terrorize you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

I can't imagine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's this chunk of it that I think about sometimes where they've got, you know, somebody horribly hog tied to a chair or something. And maybe tape on the mouth. Just awful. Probably being beat and They've got this loud, like, Grand Prix or F1 racing on. On the TV. And it's just so long. It's just that. Playing for so long.

[Edie Patterson]

That's a bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Excruciating.

[Edie Patterson]

Because that's what would really happen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Like, they're focused on torturing you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Oh, it's awful. Another one. That's was so exciting when I saw it, because it's. What would happen in certain instances is. It's a French one. The girl trying to get away from this guy who comes into the country home of her friend.

[Edie Patterson]

Ooh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, high tension.

[Edie Patterson]

High tension. I've heard of this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But she. The girl who is being pursued, actually does some things to try, and it makes it so much scarier. Like when, you know, everyone downstairs is murdered, right. She's hiding under a bed, and you're like, oh, God. And she remembers that. She's trying to make it seem like there's no one else in the house. Like, just go ahead and leave no one else here to kill. And she remembers that there is. She's been staying in this guest room, and she remembers there's water in the sink from, like, when she brushed her teeth that morning or whatever. So she sneaks out from under the bed and, like, wipes that dry and then gets back under the bed and you're like, oh, God. Oh, God. That's what you would have to do. This is too much.

[Edie Patterson]

No, this is like a morality play about cleaning up after yourself and using the bathroom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, exactly.

[Edie Patterson]

This is what you get when you don't wipe up after yourself. You've put yourself in danger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, exactly.

[Edie Patterson]

That sort of thing. The other thing that scares me is I don't want to know what I would say in these situations. I feel like I would humiliate myself in the biggest possible way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, well, by what you would say.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah. I feel like in these extreme scenarios, I'm sure I would say something so stupid, like what? I don't want to know. I don't know what. Me trying to convince a killer not to kill me. I'm sure it'd be so stupid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I think maybe I'm with you on that because I have in. So right after college, for just a beat, I lived in Austin with two friends of mine. And the place was haunted, without a doubt. A haunted condo. I've never since lived anywhere like this. But the things I used to say out loud to whatever was happening there are so lame.

[Edie Patterson]

Can you remember any of the things?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. That's why I'm like, oh, I'm exactly with you. It would be so embarrassing. There was one day, midday, no one was home except me. And I listened to footsteps come up the stairs. And so I just started out loud going, hey, look, just be cool. We're gonna be cool. But you have to be cool. Don't make this weird. So I think I would try to get too, like, down if someone was trying to kill me, I would try to talk. Talk reason and be like, man, let's chill. And I don't think it would work.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, like, sincere bargaining.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sincere bargaining.

[Edie Patterson]

Not good for me. Yeah, just humiliate. Please, no one take me hostage in my own home. That's all I ask. Same. I don't feel like it's too much to have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not. It's not too much jazz.

[Edie Patterson]

Well, I feel like there's something I've, you know, I've asked, and I feel like I haven't been heard, and I feel like we should just get into it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, let's get into it.

[Edie Patterson]

Edie, I was looking forward to having you on the podcast. Obviously thought, Edie, you'll come by, we'll have a nice time chatting great. And then move on with our lives.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Edie Patterson]

Nobody having hurt anyone's feelings. The podcast is called I said no gifts. And I know emails are sent, or at least I assume they are. I would hope that one of them crossed your desk at some point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Edie Patterson]

I mean, I don't know either, because here you come trotting into the studio today holding what I will describe as the most beautifully wrapped gift I've ever seen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good. Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

It's in this gorgeous bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right.

[Edie Patterson]

Is this a gift for me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's a gift for you. And I've out and out disobeyed, to use your word.

[Edie Patterson]

Well, the defiance here. I don't even know how to push back on this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, try. Come at me.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm spineless. You know that I'm crumpling here. You knew that I wouldn't be able to stand up for myself. You know, this is something I'm working on in therapy, and so you're just steamrolling me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right.

[Edie Patterson]

Well, should I open it here on the podcast?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You should open it here on the podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway with the stock up sale at Safeway and Albertsons. Stock up and earn four times points at your local store when you purchase participating products, save on family snack favorites like Frito Lay Chips, Tim's Cascade Chips, Dan and Yogurt and Oreos. Clip the offer in the app for event savings and look for participating items throughout the store. Shop in store or online. Plus, you can even have your groceries delivered or use Drive up and go to have your groceries brought to your car at the store. Restrictions and exclusions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Homes.com has collaboration tools to help home shoppers search, share, and discuss home shopping with family, friends, and their agent directly through the site. Though it was fun to get that email from your husband about that three.

[Edie Patterson]

Bedroom in the hills, to which you replied via text that you would never live in the hills and you'd like to find a three bedroom closer to the beach. To which he replied, why are you so uncompromising?

[Bridger Weiniger]

A fun way to spend an afternoon, but we think it's just a tad.

[Edie Patterson]

Bit easier our way. Homes.com we've done your homework.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves. Loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrive Inch, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent, where money means more. Connect with [e-mail] all right, it's in.

[Edie Patterson]

Kind of this beautiful kind of putty.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gray bag which, you know, as I, as I bought this gift, they said, would you like an opaque bag that you can't see through? And I said, yes, please, that one. And they lied. It's a little bit satiated.

[Edie Patterson]

It is a little bit. It's more of a tease.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's a tease bag. Wow. That's what. Now we should start calling balls a tease bag.

[Edie Patterson]

I feel like that's in making woofy territory.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ew.

[Edie Patterson]

It is tease bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ew.

[Edie Patterson]

Help.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Show me your tease bag.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. I'm going to bed. Forget it. I want a divorce. Okay, well, let's open this up here. This kind of beautiful bow up here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right. Double tied.

[Edie Patterson]

Double tied. Just gonna take all my strength. Sweating. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a few different things.

[Edie Patterson]

Should I take them out in specific order?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. I'm currently holding a can.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Edie Patterson]

And I'm gonna try to guess to me, based on what I know about the bag and the can, I would say, and my time in, you know, gas stations across America, I would say this is a can of refried beans. But close. Does that feel close?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Close.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay, let's see what's. Yeah, this is exactly what I just called it. Refried beans. It's Fritos bean dip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right. It's bean dip. And that is because of a character I created at the Growlings a long time ago. Bean dip. And I just thought that she should give you something with her name on it.

[Edie Patterson]

What's bean dip's origin story?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, she's very aggressive and very wild and really rich and really sweet, but really aggressive.

[Edie Patterson]

Have you had this bean dip before?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I actually love that bean dip.

[Edie Patterson]

I haven't had it in years, but Me neither.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's delicious.

[Edie Patterson]

I've never actually, like, looked into what this is actually. Yeah, it's just. I mean, it's kind of like refried beans, essentially, except for they blast it into. Just truly like obliterate it. I don't feel like you can see a bean in it. Right. It's like more of a pate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no, no, no. You're not seeing a bean chunk in that. That is a full pate.

[Edie Patterson]

This is cat level pate. Yes. Fancy feast of refried beans.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fully. It might be the same ingredients.

[Edie Patterson]

Is this something that you would eat, like, growing up in Texas, for sure. Yeah. It's a very Utah. I would see this frequently.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally.

[Edie Patterson]

But we would. This is a special one because it feels like you don't buy this really at grocery stores.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They do have it at grocery stores, but. But yeah, I feel like so have it at 7:11.

[Edie Patterson]

Because I feel like when I'm at a grocery store or like when my mom would be there, she would buy the can of refried beans, which was in Utah, was Rosarita. But then, like, my dad would probably be in convenience stores more often and would get this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. My mom would buy like a can of refried beans. If we were going to have like, refried beans and rice or like, right. Have, you know, put it in some tacos or.

[Edie Patterson]

But you were never dipping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that. We would literally buy that to dip.

[Edie Patterson]

And the refried beans were a separate thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nobody was trying to dip into a can of refried beans. It's not cool that they did that to you.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm having some dark feelings right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You need to call someone in your family up today and say, the other one's literally called dip.

[Edie Patterson]

You idiot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You idiot.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm finally gonna confront my mom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Mom, you have no idea what you did to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mom, you have no idea what you did to me. And guess what? I'm Sitting here with my full tease bag out.

[Edie Patterson]

Ready to walk into 711 and get my own can of bean dip. Should we open it here? Is it gonna. Okay, let's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

And it has, of course, the satisfying yet dangerous pull top.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right.

[Edie Patterson]

The room is about to smell great. For the rest of the episode, feel free to fart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No one will know.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, yeah. They have such a strong scent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Let's see.

[Edie Patterson]

That's like something. You could open this, you know, if you're having guests over, having a fancy party, just open this and leave this in part of the home, and it'll, you know, freshen up the air in an interesting way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Honestly, if you do have a little party and you have that out and some Fritos, you'll be shocked at how quickly it's gone.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, people love it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People love it.

[Edie Patterson]

It's essentially salt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Which. Who can resist salt? Okay, should I pull out the next thing? Because it feels like they're combined. Oh, but yet it's sort of. What a trick. This is an undippable snack.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You think?

[Edie Patterson]

You think a funyunion's dippable?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, should we try it? I kind of thought, like, if we hold it hard enough. You know what? If I'm gonna try it, I have to see if those have gluten in them.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, celiac or just gluten free.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, it makes me sick, probably. Yeah, probably.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, pop. Let's see here. My sister's celiac, so I'm pretty versed in looking for gluten.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They don't have gluten ingredients, but they are manufactured on equipment. I'm fine with that.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. You're okay with cross contamination potential? Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I'll show you what I meant of, like, folding it straight.

[Edie Patterson]

I'll follow your lead here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Okay. Whoops. Bunion and the coffee. So, yeah, what if we just, like, hold it pretty sturdily? Oh, yeah. Oh, you.

[Edie Patterson]

You really knew what you were. You had more faith in the strength of a Funyun than. Oh, and look, but I. I have a hard time pushing. How is that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mm. Dude. Legitimately so good.

[Edie Patterson]

That really works.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm gonna do this again.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I got you these because these play heavily in the third season of the Righteous Gemstones.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Aunt Tiffany always needs her Funyuns. Shout out Valen Hall. She's awesome.

[Edie Patterson]

She really is wonderful. Funyuns are. I think. There's not a person on earth who doesn't like a Funyun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Same thing as with cats. If you don't like Funyuns. I'm not really sure about you.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, it's just a lot of flavor. Pure flavor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pure flavor.

[Edie Patterson]

And then you're dipping it in a bean dip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

We may be the first two people on Earth who have made this combination.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, let's trademark.

[Edie Patterson]

And then Sue Frito lay into oblivion. Do you have a favorite type of dip? Is it bean dip?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, my favorite type of dip is also this Texas thing that. Well, two Texas things that my mom.

[Edie Patterson]

Would love to hear about. Texas dip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My mom would make this one called rotel dip.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it's salsa and, like, a block of Velveeta.

[Edie Patterson]

Velveeta. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But even on the Velveeta, it says, like, cheese products.

[Edie Patterson]

Of course, it's not even a cheese.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So. Yeah, it's like one of those big squares.

[Edie Patterson]

It almost looks like a stick of butter or something. Yes, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's like a giant stick of butter plus salsa. And then it is so deliciously awesome. And then the other one she makes is just has. People have started calling it pink dip.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh. Gonna need to be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which you would think is sweet, Right? And it's not.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That one is like, sour cream. And is that one salsa, too?

[Edie Patterson]

It might be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it's like, sour cream and salsa.

[Edie Patterson]

That makes sense. Red and white. That one turns pink.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I'll get the exact recipe and send it to you. That one.

[Edie Patterson]

Pink dip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get ready to change the lives of anyone who comes to your house. They'll be like, why do I like this?

[Edie Patterson]

I can tell you. Sour cream's wonderful. Salsa's wonderful. Why wouldn't you put those two things together?

[Bridger Weiniger]

True.

[Edie Patterson]

And, like, with Velveeta, that's another thing where it's. I think processed cheese got a real bad rap for a long time. American cheese, all these things. And then I think we're slowly realizing, well, it's a blast of flavor. Who can resist?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It?

[Edie Patterson]

Is just like science's idea of what cheese tastes like. Great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's great. And nine times out of 10, if you get some nachos somewhere, oh, my God, it's fake.

[Edie Patterson]

They're pouring that over it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

If you're dipping a chip into cheese, it's probably fake cheese.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

And better for it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you're better for it.

[Edie Patterson]

I love any sort of queso. Any sort of melted cheese. Anything I can put a tortilla in or a tortilla chip in. Same guacamole. Do you like guacamole?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Love.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. When people. I mean, Dip. People get very particular about dip. And I feel like I'm very agnostic about dip, where I don't know that I've ever had a bad dip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know that I have either.

[Edie Patterson]

Hummus ranch, love. And now I've run out of dips. Baba ghanoush, baba ganoush, love. Fantastic. Smokey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Love it.

[Edie Patterson]

And I think that may be the end of dips. So maybe it's not that hard to like dip because there are about nine of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Here's the thing I make into a dip that is very polarizing. I love yellow mustard on almost anything.

[Edie Patterson]

Anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Almost anything.

[Edie Patterson]

Like, what's an extreme idea for yellow mustard?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, the thing that I've gotten the most, like sort of. What are you doing? Is if I've got like cashews or almonds or something. Oh, and just a squeezed thing of yellow mustard, I'll literally sit there and dollop on as I go.

[Edie Patterson]

Checked.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Seriously? Yeah. It's good on anything. I would happily put it on these Funyuns.

[Edie Patterson]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

I mean, I love yellow mustard, don't get me wrong. But I just. I guess I don't think creatively when I think about mustard. I just think of the obvious things. Hot dogs, bratwurst, some sandwiches. But now I'm thinking in almond. That might work, actually.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Branch out even if you like. You're saying you love anything on a tortilla. Get you a tortilla, get it hot. Right on this burner on the stove, Flip it, put some chunks of Parmesan.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cut em off the Parmesan block, put chunks, slather it with mustard. It's the greatest.

[Edie Patterson]

It's jail food.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The best snack you've ever had.

[Edie Patterson]

That's very like snack you thought of when the parents were gone and you had the house. And we're just like, well, these are. Are ingredients. I know this makes basic sense.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. You're gonna love it.

[Edie Patterson]

I probably would love. I love all those ingredients. It's just you have to kind of get into the mindset of, well, this is a new recipe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

And I have to, you know, be bold.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, just be bold.

[Edie Patterson]

Parmesan and mustard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When you approach this, don't approach it like you would a killer who's trying to kill you and you're trying to talk him out of it. Just go with it.

[Edie Patterson]

Go with it. Just let it take over. Leave me for dead. Parmesan's not a very melty cheese either.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that's the point. Just eat those chunks in your Crispy tortilla. Your tortilla is going to be so crispy, it's almost going to, like, crack when you fold it. And you're going to have those hard chunks in there with that yellow mustard. Get ready.

[Edie Patterson]

This is like post apocalyptic. Like, did you ever see the Road or. It's like that. Where we found these ingredients in the cellar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally.

[Edie Patterson]

And this is a feast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God, the Road. Reading it was even more impactful.

[Edie Patterson]

I loved the book a lot more.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Certainly when you just said the Cellar.

[Edie Patterson]

I was just like, oh, in the book. Oh, that's a tough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. And the thinking that he was doing of like, do we just stay here forever or do I try to take us out of the cellar? Oh, my God.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, it's so dark.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So dark. It's so dark. It's so beautiful, that book. My God.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah. My problem with the movie was I just felt like the kid was a little too old.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Watch this. That was a coffee Funyun.

[Edie Patterson]

Edie has just swallowed a Funyun. Like a piece of spaghetti that came out of her coffee and she had the time of her life doing it. It's crazy. This is someone that no one should trust with restaurant recommendations.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Actually. I'm such a foodie. I know really good stuff.

[Edie Patterson]

We're in a flying J or something. Truck stop somewhere. But yeah, very, very road equivalent, I would say those Cormac McCarthy books. I don't know if you've read any of the others, but I always get hungry reading them because there'll be like a cowboy eating literally, like, tortillas and beans and coffee. And I'm like, that's a dream meal for me, dude.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I am so with you on this. That I have. I can't agree more. There is an episode of the Brady Bunch that plays in my mind sometimes where they're, like, lost in the Grand Canyon and they're, like, separated. But Bobby, I think, has sort of thought ahead and he has a flashlight full of baked beans in case he's lost.

[Edie Patterson]

That little sicko.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That little sicko. And he sits at one point and screws off the top of that flashlight and eats those baked beans as his family starves. And it just seems like the most amazing, delicious thing.

[Edie Patterson]

Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I am so with you on these Cormac McCarthy, like, oh, yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Around the campfire, just eating, like, the most basic foods possible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love it.

[Edie Patterson]

Did Al was Alice with the family?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Died.

[Edie Patterson]

She was dead. She was dead long ago.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She fell off by a mountain lion.

[Edie Patterson]

Someone should do a Study on the mind of people who grew up with and without cable because we didn't have cable either. I would love to know, like, the cultural differences between people who. Obviously, I guess I don't have cable now either, just due to what the world is. But, like, kids who had cable and who didn't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I agree.

[Edie Patterson]

There's a very. You learned. I think you learned a lot of things while watching cable and you were forced to become a different sort of person if you didn't have it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Agreed, agreed. I think it probably. Yeah, it probably pushes people who are inclined toward the arts more toward the arts. If you don't have cable.

[Edie Patterson]

Weirdly, like, hungry for it or something and maybe having to, like, create. Create more. Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. My dad's mother, who lived in the same city as us, had cable.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And our family friends growing up, they lived next door to the dad's mom. Their mama and the krill's mama had cable. And so we'd go over to their mama's house sometime to swim. And I would just. She had a TV just right past the sort of back screen door that was at the pool, and the TV was right there near the door. And I would just sneak out of the pool and just, like, turn it to MTV and stare.

[Edie Patterson]

Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, transfixed.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah. It's like a complete universe that you're not allowed to access at home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was delicious.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, yeah. Anytime I went to a friend's house with cable. Ooh. Completely different experience. Fully just loved, loved, loved. Yeah. I just recently, weirdly, I've been on YouTube watching. People are uploading, like, old MTV Music Video Awards, like, the entire show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Edie Patterson]

Watching, I think the 95 awards.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How great.

[Edie Patterson]

Fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Britney.

[Edie Patterson]

No, this was like full Michael Jackson, which is a complicated situation, but he does, like, a 15 minute thing, which I found very unsatisfying, to be honest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, really? No. Moonwalk.

[Edie Patterson]

A lot of it. But he was doing essentially, like 20 seconds of each song and it felt scattered. MJ was scattered.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Come on. Just do all of Billie Jean. Get the.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, that's the only one we want to hear. Give me a break. Anything passed off the wall or. No, let's see.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thriller.

[Edie Patterson]

Thriller.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

After that. After that. I don't need. I don't need to hear bad. I don't need to hear bad. Give me a break. And any of those ballads from the mid-90s.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Man in the Mirror. Oh, no, thank you.

[Edie Patterson]

I don't need you preaching to me you've got your own problems. Deal with that before you start.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, seriously, stop preaching to us.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, come on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How dare.

[Edie Patterson]

How dare. How dare you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

God, seriously. How dare he hit us with man in the Mirror. Come on, Michael, please.

[Edie Patterson]

He knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. But then there was the Scream video with Janet. And I'm full on board with Janet, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Me too.

[Edie Patterson]

We love Janet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Me too. And I did enjoy the awesome cringe of those weird moments in the silence of, like.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I remember it used to make me so uncomfortable, and I really liked it.

[Edie Patterson]

Just really uncomfortable for this person. Yeah, yeah. There was mj. There was live. Do you remember the band live?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Of course. Shirtless singing. There was a big period where one of those kind of. Oh, whole. Which was great to see. Courtney Love. So it's very fun. Very fun to watch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, I'm gonna watch that.

[Edie Patterson]

And they have the commercials and everything. It's like, I hope I'm not exposing these YouTube channels. And then MTV comes after them. These things should be preserved.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I agree.

[Edie Patterson]

I love to watch a old VHS recording of a. Oh, my God, an award show. It's fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They. There's a song on Sirius. I mean, not a song, a radio. A station on Sirius. Radio lithium. That's all, like,'90s grunge type stuff.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I've just recently realized, like, through hearing live on there, that, like, they were sort of this early version of, like, almost like a beat dropping in edm.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what I mean? Because they would do these, and it would go like that forever, and then out of nowhere, they would go, like. And you're like, whoa. Every song of theirs is like, has this crazy.

[Edie Patterson]

That thing is coming.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Where everybody is gonna light it up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Lollapalooza. Yes. 97.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm trying to think if I have a favorite music video. Do you. Does anything spring to mind for you? Oh, I love music videos.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And me too.

[Edie Patterson]

Whenever I. Anytime I bring up the word favorite, my mind goes blank.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mine too.

[Edie Patterson]

Despite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, what's one you like?

[Edie Patterson]

What's something I really, really love? Okay, let's focus. Let's see. It would probably be from the 90s. It would probably be. You know, I like some. Oh, I like some Bjork videos.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Me too.

[Edie Patterson]

Like, it's oh so Quiet video. That Spike Jon thing is amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Amazing.

[Edie Patterson]

I wouldn't say that's a favorite, but that comes to mind. That's an easy pull for me. Oh, I. You know, I love the Weezer video for the sweater Song Undone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Me too.

[Edie Patterson]

It's kind of dreamy. And they have all these dogs run into the studio. That's a great one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

I don't know, sir.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love the. I feel like it's so classic. I love the Sabotage Beastie piece. Oh, my God.

[Edie Patterson]

That's an all time. That song is incredible. The video is amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, it's so good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I actually love that Foo Fighters video on the airplane.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, yeah. Learn to fly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Yes. Dave Grohls. Like a naturally very funny person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

I love. There's this one for Blur song called Coffee and tv. It's a little milk carton that walks around town.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, dude. Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Fantastic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Awesome.

[Edie Patterson]

And now you don't really see music videos anymore. They each have a budget of about a hundred dollars.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. I got to direct one. What? Like, I guess now it's like a year and a half ago for Elle King.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I love how it turned out. And we actually got to really do something.

[Edie Patterson]

What is the video concept?

[Bridger Weiniger]

The song is called Try Jesus and it's like awesome mix of country and gospel, almost the vibe of it. But it's basically this woman who's hooked up with a bunch of. And she's like, I don't know, maybe I need to Try Jesus. Yeah. She and her manager had gone to record it and one of them, either Elle or Chip, her manager was like, oh, this seems like something Judi Gemstone would sing. And so they just reached out on Instagram and said, would you ever wanna direct a. I was like, yes, I would.

[Edie Patterson]

That's incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So, yeah, I wrote the video and talked with Elle about it and then. Yeah, then we set out renting a dollar store outside of Nashville.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, this is a tree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It was awesome.

[Edie Patterson]

Had you directed before?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that was my first.

[Edie Patterson]

That's amazing. Oh, I can't wait to see this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I want to do more.

[Edie Patterson]

You should.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was my first though. Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Wow. And now I'm realizing one other. This is a very deep poll, but. And I can't imagine it's by a band called the Intelligence. I just love this video and it's the most simple thing, but it's too actual crabs and one's playing the guitar and it's one of the. It's just a very delightful. It's for a song called Dating Cops. So that's a very fun. I love music videos.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do too. And now that's got me thinking. Oh, there was this really wild one. I GUESS it's like 10 years ago at this point, the video is this guy running. The whole video is him running through a field and just getting shot over and over with arrows.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, that sounds incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's so good.

[Edie Patterson]

What is that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, we'll have to look it up.

[Edie Patterson]

Annalise, put some keywords in and see if that's a. Yeah, zoom in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Video Guy infield being murdered. Oh, you're gonna know the band immediately.

[Edie Patterson]

All J.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All J.

[Edie Patterson]

Yes. Oh, okay. I haven't seen that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think you'll like it.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wanted to do something old school, like, from when I was growing up of, like, a little bit of a preamble. And I would have done way more. I would have done like, a whole, like, of course, 15 minute video. But that was sort of. Sort of quick. But still, I got to have it. I got to have her say a little something.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

So it's, like, as close to, like, when they were making music videos as you get.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, I'm so jealous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

I can't wait to see this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay, I'm gonna reach. I think there's at least one more thing in here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There are two more things in there, and I'm so glad these were open first, because the next two are their own category.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, and this is something I've never seen before.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I hadn't seen it either. These next two are things that I got for you because the title of them was Disgusting God. Gushers.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, no, I'm familiar with Gushers. The candy from. They would put them in, like. Or at least other kids in school would have them in their sack lunches.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

And I think they're disgusting. Have you had one before? I'm excited for you to try them. I mean, it's an absolute texture nightmare for me. And now Muddy Bites.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Muddy Bites.

[Edie Patterson]

What's the. There's, like, a mix that people make with the Chex mix. Muddy Buddies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. Or like, Puppy Chow.

[Edie Patterson]

Puppy Chow. I think those are kind. Are those the same thing? They're like peanut butter chicks and chocolate. Yeah. Powdered sugar, maybe. I wonder if that's. But this has waffle cone, so this is a whole new thing. Let's try both of those things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I was like, muddy Bites. There was something so, like, so scatological about that. To me, I'm like, ew.

[Edie Patterson]

Muddy Bites to Gushers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gushers.

[Edie Patterson]

That's a tough combination of snacks. Come on, get loose.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get your teas bag out. Get you some Gushers. Slurp some Muddy bites.

[Edie Patterson]

Would you like to try a gusher first or a Muddy bite first.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think a gusher first, and then I don't even know if I can have the muddy bites because I've got cones.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, right. You can't have. That's certainly a gluten. And let's. These might even be. Let's see. Let's just make sure I know there's secret gluten. Yeah. These seem okay, and yet they're impossible to open. Maybe if I pull it like this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, there we go.

[Edie Patterson]

That's almost too easy. These were opened in store, and we're gonna both be poisoned. This is like that Advil. Murderer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's like old Halloween warnings.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, exactly. Okay, I got their so bright. I know I'm not okay. I have to get a different flavor. This flavor is abhorrent. It's lime. Oh. Artificial lime for me is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Whoa. That orange one had no flavor. And I'm like, did I get coveted in here?

[Edie Patterson]

Rapid Covid. Okay, I have to give it another shot with a blue. I think that's a safer. Oh, my God. That green is the green for me. That is truly poisonous flavoring. Oh, okay. Blue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're so, like, fake. It's. Oh, the gush is wild.

[Edie Patterson]

This is a bad. This is a bad candy. This should no longer be on the market.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is fully a poison candy.

[Edie Patterson]

We've come so far with artificial flavoring, and they have fucked it up in a huge way. Tropical. Oh, they taste horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. They should at least taste as good as, like, Starburst.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, yeah. Bare minimum. Come on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They don't.

[Edie Patterson]

This is a national brand. They have the science, the food scientists that could be evolving the flavor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They don't care about us.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, that's a terrible. These, I think, like, initially were kind of almost in, like, the fruit snack category, where people, I think parents would be tricked into thinking, oh, it's a fruit. Oh, treat for my kids.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Because they'd be in lunches.

[Edie Patterson]

And now. Oh, okay. Now I guess I'll try. Be trying my muddy bite privately.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, let me know if you want me to cover my eyes.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm gonna have to blur out all of the footage here. That's what it looks like. It is very. The cone is very accurate to a real cone. Maybe that might actually be a waffle cone. And then the inside is some dusty chalk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, because I forgot to tell you this. There is a sign by these in the store that says, do not eat. Well, it says all these muddy bites were left on a shelf for six months. Hence the dusty chocolate. Enjoy Before.

[Edie Patterson]

Before Bagging, you think six months of before.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Just to collect the right amount.

[Edie Patterson]

That's not gonna stop me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, great.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, I don't. Oh, this almost tastes more like an onion than a funyun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no.

[Edie Patterson]

Something wrong is happening in my mouth right now. I don't know if it's because the Funyun altered what's happening in my mouth, but there's, like, a savoriness to this. That should not be happening.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it should not.

[Edie Patterson]

What is happening?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God, they're just like. Both of them are such. Oh, they're such synonyms for, you know, very, like, very explicit sexism. Yeah, of course.

[Edie Patterson]

Well, and listen, it sounds like there's a letter on the back from the creators.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, hi.

[Edie Patterson]

And it says, we started muddy bites because we thought to ourselves, what's better than eating a sundae cone? Oh, well. Well, yeah, a few things. Enjoying the last bite over and over again, of course. Okay. Where delicious milk chocolate made from only the best ingredients. I'm gonna stop you right there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Come on.

[Edie Patterson]

Fills the waffle cone tip for the perfect bite. It's like every day is summer vacation or hitting a home run. With every swing, it's happiness multiplied. Jared and Tyler. Jared and Tyler. Jared and Tyler.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on.

[Edie Patterson]

What are you doing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are you doing? I see the deal now. I didn't put it together like, oh, if someone does eat a drumstick.

[Edie Patterson]

That part is good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That part is the best I can remember that part.

[Edie Patterson]

Yes, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So that's what they're trying to do here.

[Edie Patterson]

But that's not an artificial. This is a copy of that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And there was part of this that made me guess. Oh, the waffle tip.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, waffle God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just at least add a few words and go. The end of the waffle cone. The waffle tip of the muddy bite. Get out of here. How dare you. Jared and Tyler.

[Edie Patterson]

Wow, they're really getting away with something here. This snacks should have, like, a rating. Like movies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. These are X. Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

This is an X rated snack.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And so is the gusher.

[Edie Patterson]

And I will say that they have. There are notes of meat. I'm tasting. I'm tasting notes of ground beef or something. But maybe people are into that. Maybe people have all sorts of tastes and kinks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They sure do. You know what I didn't notice notice in the 711 was that the logo that they have on the front of the cone that's running this little guy, he has a full erection. Not really.

[Edie Patterson]

Without me saying, you just kind of glance. You'd be like, what's he? Also kind of looks like a slice of pizza. Whoever was, they paid. They probably bought this on fiverr or something. They got like some amateur to do their logo. That's not ideal. The best bite over and over again. I'm sorry, but I will not be having another muddy bite. I don't want to stop anyone else from having a muddy bite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Please have a money bite.

[Edie Patterson]

But for me, you know, the meat. The meat element, my mouth is so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Confused with hints of ground beef in the waffle. Tip.

[Edie Patterson]

Well, I think we should play a game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do too.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay, we're gonna play a game called gift or curse. But I need a number between one and 10 from you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, seven.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating, so right now you can recommend promote. Do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, great. I would say in this moment, I will tell people to watch season four of the Righteous Gemstones. It's currently airing on hbo. Also known as Max Comes on Sunday nights right after White Lotus. How about that? Throat clear. And yeah, episode three aired on this past Sunday night. And yeah, catch that. Catch up on all the other seasons if you want to before you watch it. And I'm doing a show on May 6th at the Crownlings that's a improvised one person show. Oh, that's what I've got right now.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, Gemstones is so good. And I might be biased, but Edie is just outstanding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hey, come on. Everybody's gotta watch it.

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah, everybody's gotta watch it. And listener, what am I. I'm reminding you that we have patreon now. Patreon.com IsaidNo gifts, bonus episodes, whatever. Nonsense. I feel like post. It's late at night and I'm desperate to do a post. And then it just ends up being something I probably shouldn't have posted in the first place. I don't know, but that's an opportunity for you. Okay, this is how we play gift or a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Great.

[Edie Patterson]

I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why. And then I'll tell if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

All right, this first one is from one of our Patreon listeners. Brit, gift or a curse? Going through the drive thru. And the person in front of you paid for your mercury deal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gift.

[Edie Patterson]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that it was just probably something they wanted to do. They probably didn't even see you. I know if I did that I would just do it just to be cool, be nice, and have them have an extra perk in the day. I know people could argue that they saw you and they felt really bad for you, but I think probably they don't even care who or what you are. They just were trying to do something nice.

[Edie Patterson]

Wrong. Curse. This person is. Mind your own business. I don't want you knowing anything about how much I'm spending at the drive through. And you're obviously very curious about my fast food budget. And so you think, what's the easiest way to find out?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you know what?

[Edie Patterson]

Offer to pay. Now you pride into my personal business.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I didn't even think about this. Now they know too much about it.

[Edie Patterson]

They know too much. And it's almost like they're reverse following you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

It's like a very subtle PI.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Stalker move.

[Edie Patterson]

Yep.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep. Well, I know why I got that one wrong. And I will never do it again.

[Edie Patterson]

All right, number two. This is from a listener named Brent. Gift or a curse? Gift or a curse. Standing on escalators.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, it could go either way, ultimately. Curse. Because keep it moving if you can. And if you. I have been in situations where my bag is too heavy to walk on the escalator, but in that case, put it right in front of you. Have it take up only the width of your body and leave room enough for someone to run past on the side if they want to.

[Edie Patterson]

So you're saying curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Curse.

[Edie Patterson]

Absolutely. A curse. Yes. Oh, I mean, this. I mean, what's shocking to me, I mean, it's how many people don't understand this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

It's shaped like a staircase for a reason. If you have the ability to walk up a staircase, no excuses. I want you walking up an escalator.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Keep it moving.

[Edie Patterson]

Come on. Or yeah. Or at least stand to the side.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. If you can't keep it moving, stand to the side.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, this sets me off in a huge way when I'm trapped behind somebody on an escalator.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Especially if you're trying to run through an airport to get a connecting flight. It is infuriating.

[Edie Patterson]

And if even more so if it's one that's going down where it's like this requires very little energy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Uh huh.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay. I can kind of get behind the reason of, like, I don't want to walk up. I still want to walk up. But we're headed down. Gravity is assisting you here. Keep moving. Get out of the way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yep.

[Edie Patterson]

And no lovebirds standing next to each other. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel the same about moving sidewalks in the airport, of course.

[Edie Patterson]

And then the airport is telling people, stand to the side.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Stand to the side, because I'm coming fast.

[Edie Patterson]

I am flying even if I'm not in a rush. I'm just like, I want to move through.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

It's a thrill.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a thrill.

[Edie Patterson]

You feel like Wonder Woman or something zipping through the airport. Curse. Okay, so you've gotten one right so far.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Great.

[Edie Patterson]

Not a total failure. Finally. This is from a listener named Mackenzie. Gift or a curse? Keyless ignitions in cars.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gift.

[Edie Patterson]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just because then you can have your. Your whole chunk of keys just in your bag, in your pocket, wherever you want to have it, and you don't have to go digging for it to stick it in the keyhole. Just get going.

[Edie Patterson]

You're on the move.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're. You're on the move. This is exactly in the vein as an escalator. Keep it moving.

[Edie Patterson]

Wrong curse. Look, I understand everything you've just said, but I think I miss the delicious feeling of sticking the key into the ignition, the revving it up. You know, it feels like you're revving. I'm revving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You do a full. Like, what's your car?

[Edie Patterson]

A monster truck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, okay, I get it.

[Edie Patterson]

I drive a monster truck. A Corvette. I'm always in something that's catching eyes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A Dodge Challenger.

[Edie Patterson]

Dodge Challenger. Of course. Of course. Cutting people off on the freeway, tailgating. And the only thing missing is that I didn't get to turn the key.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, okay.

[Edie Patterson]

I loved. And I do feel like I'm being trained to, like. You know what drives me crazy is when the automatic door opens just for the driver, and then you're standing there as the passenger waiting for the person to get in and open your door. Drives me crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Agreed. I can't fight the urge to. I've tried it once. It was locked. Oh, I then can't not go.

[Edie Patterson]

Of course I'm headed back in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Tonight's ruined.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm done. I'm gonna Uber at that point.

[Edie Patterson]

You know what? I spent too much. Forget it. Well, you got one out of three. Pretty poor bad, unfortunately. Huge failure. But it gives. Allows for room for improvement.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Okay.

[Edie Patterson]

And at least we know you know how to stand on it or to move on an escalator, which counts for a lot. All right, People who are standing on the escalator fail at everything, so I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Think you may be right.

[Edie Patterson]

Okay, well, I think we should get into this final segment of the podcast. Let's answer a listener question.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Perfect.

[Edie Patterson]

People have been sending in voice notes. Anneliese, would you play one?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hi, Bridger. My name is Anne, and this weekend my grandma turns 101. I have no clue what to get her. She's from Missouri. She's very elegant. She's very funny. Loves white wine, like chardonnay. I don't know if I can keep giving a woman in her hundreds wine. She'd probably like that. But I'd really appreciate some advice here. Shout out to Dorothy. She's a great grandma. I love her and I'm so lucky she's here. Thank you.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, sweet. And she has a problem. Jeez.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sounds like a blast though.

[Edie Patterson]

She's having the time of her life. She's still getting Boozozed up at 101.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pretty great.

[Edie Patterson]

Wow. What do you give this person that, you know, has to dry out?

[Bridger Weiniger]

My first idea is maybe she doesn't have to dry out. What about, I wonder if there's anywhere even an hour or two away, a winery. That would be a fun time.

[Edie Patterson]

Grandma. Granddaughter trip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Just even go and spend one day and one night would be a blast.

[Edie Patterson]

That's a great idea.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would be my first idea. But maybe Ann doesn't live where her grandma lives. In that case, my next idea would be maybe a really cool, like, unique. Some kind of jewelry.

[Edie Patterson]

Oh, yes. Like a nice necklace or earrings or a bracelet. A charm bracelet with wine bottles on it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

That seems like a decent thing. Do you ever think about. This is something I think about. Well, not often. I'm not frequently thinking about this. But if I get to that age, I really want to start doing hard drugs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why not?

[Edie Patterson]

Yeah. I just feel like you get to a point where you're like, let's just do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's party. Yeah.

[Edie Patterson]

Death is at the door.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Okay, so what drugs should she get her.

[Edie Patterson]

I feel like start her on heroin.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Great. Whoa. Full Trainspotting from the jump. Okay. Dirty drugs. Dang. Okay.

[Edie Patterson]

Or maybe, okay, it's her birthday. Maybe she. Coke. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Edie Patterson]

That's a party drug.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, get her some coke. Or maybe. Maybe some Molly.

[Edie Patterson]

Molly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's nice together.

[Edie Patterson]

Molly seems like a grandma drug.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Give your grandma some Molly. And like, be prepared to like, brush her hair.

[Edie Patterson]

Hug.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hug.

[Edie Patterson]

Lie together on a quilt. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds awesome.

[Edie Patterson]

That's a perfect 101st birthday with your granddaughter. I mean, if she doesn't like that, then she has not learned anything in life. Sorry, Grandma.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sorry, Grandma.

[Edie Patterson]

Well, I think that we answered that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think so, too.

[Edie Patterson]

We've saved a relationship a Grandma. Granddaughter relationship. Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Were they in. Were they in peril?

[Edie Patterson]

Dire straits. Yes. There was gonna be a. Some. Something that resembled a divorce.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no.

[Edie Patterson]

Can you emancipate yourself from your grandma?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Edie Patterson]

Well, happy 101st birthday, Grandma. Yes, Deandra. Don't call back in. Well, we answered the question perfectly. The room smells like an absolute gourmet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, the room smells like beans, onions and gushers.

[Edie Patterson]

I've had such a wonderful time with you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Same. What a blast.

[Edie Patterson]

And now I've had lunch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Great.

[Edie Patterson]

Thank you for being here. Yeah, thanks for having me, listener. The podcast is over. You can do whatever you want with your day. If that involves muddy bites, I don't know what to tell you, but that's truly up to you. I'm sending you off into the world and hoping you make a decent decision. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Anneliese Nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Bridger Weiniger]

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is presents enough. And I already had too much.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Edie Patterson]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Edie Patterson]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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