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Sophia Bush
This is exactly right.
Bridger Weiniger
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
Johnny Pemberton
I don't know if you knew this,
Bridger Weiniger
but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities.
Johnny Pemberton
So do like I did and have
Bridger Weiniger
one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com
Sophia Bush
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Bridger Weiniger
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Sophia Bush
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Bridger Weiniger
price plan options available.
Sophia Bush
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Johnny Pemberton
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Public Investing Representative
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Johnny Pemberton
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Public Investing Representative
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Johnny Pemberton
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Public Investing Representative
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Johnny Pemberton
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Public Investing Representative
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Johnny Pemberton
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Public Investing Representative
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Johnny Pemberton
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Public Investing Representative
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Sophia Bush
last, there's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still. Not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we are here to help you keep going further. Capella University what can't you do? Visit capella.edu to learn more.
Public Investing Representative
Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures.
Sophia Bush
When I invited you here,
Johnny Pemberton
I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is present enough. I already have too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?
Bridger Weiniger
Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. What's going on? Ellis is not here today. Ellis is in Spain. Ellis told me they were in Spain. They've lied to me before, so God knows where they really are. Probably laying low somewhere. I don't know, maybe they'll be back. Alice is not here. We're in the studio. Very little happening for me because the last like six days I finally started watching. I gave in to Love is Blind. Love is Blind Ohio. And so that's kind of cut me off from talking to other people. And by the time this episode releases, culture will have fully moved on to some other piece of art. So it's a show about a great group of guys and a great group of gals, all with their heads on straight. That's basically the show. Is there anything else that's going on? Do I have any business? Let's see. No, no. I mean that's truly. I mean I've shut down conversation after conversation the last three days with people who haven't watched Love is Blind and then I just have nothing left to say. Nothing's really gone bad yet today, so it's just a matter of time. And I should probably mention that the Patreon exists. Have I mentioned it lately? I probably have. I don't care. You need to be reminded. Patreon.com isaidnogifts bonus episodes, recipes, pet photos. I mean those are three things. And there's probably at least four things on the Patreon. So go there. And is there any actual business? I don't think so. Love is Blind Ohio. I love today's guest. He's back. It's Johnny Pemberton. Johnny, welcome back to I said no gifts.
Johnny Pemberton
Let me get your McDonald's order. Okay, let me soothe you with a McDonald's order, please. Ten piece buffalo.
Bridger Weiniger
Ten piece.
Johnny Pemberton
Ten piece buffalo, huh?
Bridger Weiniger
You watched it?
Johnny Pemberton
I watched that. My wife watches that show and she showed me. She was like, you have to see this. I think that's one of the biggest, like, pieces of burning trash I've ever seen. As far as like, oh, just that guy. They're both just the worst people.
Bridger Weiniger
How much of that guy were you exposed to?
Johnny Pemberton
Just his conversation with the family at dinner.
Bridger Weiniger
The dinner is one of the weirdest things I've ever watched.
Johnny Pemberton
It is like a ballet of bullshit. The way he's like. I was even talking to my friend Josh last night about it. It's like, we have to do something that's like aping this, right? Cause the way he speaks is so just a three years ext. I was doing some finance, actually. Arizona. Yes. Was correct. Because California was something we've been interested in. Soccer has been a priority for me. And that's something that I feel that's a good thing because finance is always. Yes, I'm going back to that. But it wasn't a job per se. It's more of a career interested tie in.
Bridger Weiniger
He never stops talking like that.
Johnny Pemberton
Because he's so full of shit.
Bridger Weiniger
He's a drifter.
Johnny Pemberton
He is.
Bridger Weiniger
God love him. You can't pin him down where he was living, what he was doing at any time. There's something going on.
Johnny Pemberton
There's something going on.
Bridger Weiniger
Imagine talking to a friend in that way, like, and trying to form a relationship.
Johnny Pemberton
You can't. It is just alarm bells going off.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. I was told last night someone sent me a video from one of his former co workers. He was living when he got cast on that show. He was living in Scottsdale.
Johnny Pemberton
Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
And working for, like, a tech sales company and not doing a good job, apparently so. And then he keeps going back to soccer, which apparently was like, 14 years ago.
Johnny Pemberton
Does anyone ever had a job in soccer like any American ever had? What? Ted Lasso is the only person to ever have a job. Soccer as an American.
Bridger Weiniger
Your job is soccer coach. Well, then that's volunteer work.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Unless you're literally Ted Lasso.
Johnny Pemberton
You're cutting oranges, bro.
Bridger Weiniger
You're cutting oranges, you're passing out juice boxes. It's ridiculous.
Johnny Pemberton
Soccer. Soccer as career.
Bridger Weiniger
The other thing that was a big red flag. Oh, you haven't seen all of it. But was the confidence in saying, well, we'll live in either Arizona or Florida. Those are the only two options.
Johnny Pemberton
Those are just places that they agreed that he didn't say check a box. Is that, you know that reality speak where it's like they get the thing wrong constantly. It's like, well, that really, that moved our box. And so I don't want to be barking up a ten foot pole here because when the ship rises, our waters are going to be.
Bridger Weiniger
It's so wild. And then the father in that situation is also just like kind of an evil crone. He looks at. To me, he looked. Did you ever see Witches with Anjelica Huston?
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, I think you're so long ago. I don't know.
Bridger Weiniger
There's a point in the movie when the witches, who are all kind of beautiful women, remove their mask and wigs and become kind of these goblin characters. That's essential. And then his like the father's approval when the son said that he would have voted for Trump. I mean, everything about.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God, that part, I was like, what the. Who are these pieces of trash?
Bridger Weiniger
I know. That's the other thing about the show is you're watching kind of like 30 year olds who seem like they are like from the city, life in the city. They start revealing what they are and it's like, oh, interesting. Every one of you is a MAGA psycho. Yeah. But, you know, as I've said, this episode comes out in like four weeks and people will be watching Love is Blind 19.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, they will have moved on from that guy.
Bridger Weiniger
That guy. But he'll probably have committed some sort of something at that point.
Johnny Pemberton
Soccer crime. Crimes against soccer. Humanity.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, so you watched one episode of that and you were just telling me you were watching some horrible movies over the weekend as well.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, I watched Pacific Heights with Melanie Griffith and Matthew Modine.
Bridger Weiniger
What's the general story of this movie? What's the thrill element of this?
Johnny Pemberton
A young couple, unmarried, buys a house in the Pacific Heights San Francisco they cannot afford, but it has spaces to rent out so they can make some money.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, interesting.
Johnny Pemberton
To pay off their mortgage. They cannot afford this house, but they fix it up and they get a bad tenant. And this bad tenant is Michael Keaton. And he is like abusing the laws. Of course, Matthew Modine can't be chill and he does some stuff that goes against tenant law. And Laurie Metcalf is in it a little bit.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I love Laurie Metcalfe.
Johnny Pemberton
Favorite person alive.
Bridger Weiniger
Unbelievable actor.
Johnny Pemberton
I've seen her twice in Public. And she's one of the few people I'm like, I can't.
Bridger Weiniger
I don't know what I would do around her.
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, she's scary.
Bridger Weiniger
She's, like, an intimidating person, and she's, like, endlessly talented.
Johnny Pemberton
I think she's one of the most talented actors in the last hundred years, in my opinion.
Bridger Weiniger
Absolutely. Does she see getting on?
Johnny Pemberton
Are you kidding me? That shit is. I mean, I grew up in Rochester, Minnesota, so all of my. It's where the Mayo Clinic is, Right?
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
Pretty much everyone I knew was a doctor. Sure. Like, I know that. I know that so well.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. That whole, like, kind of probably kind of social scene.
Johnny Pemberton
The social scene. And just the type of person who is successful in medicine. Like, the character she plays is. I knew three of that woman.
Bridger Weiniger
No. I'm so jealous.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I've been shocked by how many people aren't aware of even, like, getting on.
Johnny Pemberton
No one has any idea of it at all.
Bridger Weiniger
It's so good. It's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen.
Johnny Pemberton
Mo Rodriguez, just stunning.
Bridger Weiniger
And it's, like, very sweet and beautiful.
Johnny Pemberton
So sweet. Niecy Nash is so good in it. Everyone in the show is, like, playing against hype, and they're all so great. It's just kind of like. I mean. Yeah. It's the classic case of something that's so great that it just doesn't have enough. It's not, like, scandalous enough. It's not, like.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. It doesn't have some sort of thing that can be thrown to general people.
Johnny Pemberton
It doesn't have, like, the lusty vibe of, like, a White Lotus type thing. So there's no pr.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Anyone? I can imagine somebody, like, glimpsing at a trailer of that and being like, oh, that's like a bleak hospital. Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
Because it is. It's bleak as shit.
Bridger Weiniger
But you watch it and it's like, very funny.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God. It's so funny because it's based on a British show, you know.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. I never saw the British version.
Johnny Pemberton
Did you?
Bridger Weiniger
I really like. I think it's Vicki Pepperdine is Who created that.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, that's a great name.
Bridger Weiniger
She's really wonderful.
Johnny Pemberton
Vicki Pepperdine.
Bridger Weiniger
Vicky Pepperdine. It's a name, isn't it? She and Julia Davis.
Johnny Pemberton
Julia Davis and Vicky Pepper.
Bridger Weiniger
Two of the funniest people alive as well. I should watch the British one of them. But wait, so Laurie's in Pacific Heights.
Johnny Pemberton
She's in it just a little bit.
Bridger Weiniger
And Michael Keaton's just kind of A bad egg.
Johnny Pemberton
He probably shot five days on that. He's like a bad guy. He's like twiddling a razor blade like just the most. It is a piece of crap movie. It is a crap movie. They all know it. Like, it's one of those things where you wonder how they felt at the premiere kind of thing, right?
Bridger Weiniger
Where they're all like, they know. They can't really say it to each other, but they want each other to know that they know it's bad.
Johnny Pemberton
They gotta fulfill the contract of promotion.
Bridger Weiniger
What's his goal in the movie? Is it like a.
Johnny Pemberton
He's like a trust fund crazy guy. I mean, you gotta just see it. He's a trust fund guy whose family got him to go away. And he's got money, so he's scamming people doing like a rent scam thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, okay.
Johnny Pemberton
Like, I'm rich. He has a Porsche. So people are, oh. He's like, my business is actually a private trust. How about I wire you the first six months? They're like, oh, great. Yes, great. Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
This is kind of like Alex from Love is Blind. It's a similar type.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God. It definitely is. It's definitely that.
Bridger Weiniger
He's probably run a similar scheme.
Johnny Pemberton
It's like a successful version of Alex from Love is Blind.
Sophia Bush
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Johnny Pemberton
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Public Investing Representative
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Sophia Bush
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Bridger Weiniger
When was the last time you had a roommate?
Johnny Pemberton
Does my spouse not count?
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, pre spouse Pre spouse was probably
Johnny Pemberton
maybe 12, 13, maybe 14 years.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. Have you ever had a bad roommate situation?
Johnny Pemberton
I Actually, never have. No. I've only had really great roommates.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, that's really. I feel like. Well, I got out of the roommate game pretty quickly, but the idea of, like, having to live with somebody that I have a hard time living with someone I really love.
Johnny Pemberton
It is. Some people really do, I think. I've never lived alone.
Bridger Weiniger
You've never lived alone?
Johnny Pemberton
Except for some times. I've been on location, like, for like maybe six months.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. When you're living alone, how does that feel? Is it unsettling for you?
Johnny Pemberton
No. Yes and no. I kind of love it.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
But also it's that thing where I just like being around people a lot.
Bridger Weiniger
Sure, Right.
Johnny Pemberton
You know, I really enjoy it. I like having a space, like having like a room or an office or place I can retreat.
Bridger Weiniger
Quiet place.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. A place I can like, you know, be me. Place I can be me. But also I do, like. I like having the camaraderie or something like that.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. But I feel like you're somebody who also makes really good use of their time. I feel like you find hobbies and you throw yourself into them. So, I don't know. I feel like you have a very healthy way of being alive.
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, what do they say? Perception is everything.
Bridger Weiniger
So it's all just a scam, I guess.
Johnny Pemberton
Sort of. I mean, I spent the entire day yesterday breaking my back, repaving the front walkway. And like, that's why.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, that's amazing to me.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. But it's just because it's like I needed to do that because I just finished. I just finished shooting my first comedy special.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right, right.
Johnny Pemberton
And it was the most work I've ever done in my entire life, just about. Because it's not like a special special. I'm not like standing with a microphone. It's like, it's like a one man show. I have all these cues and sound cues and like music things and all this stuff. It's so utterly complicated. And I, you know, I built my own prison in that sense.
Bridger Weiniger
Right, right.
Johnny Pemberton
So it was just so much work coming off of that. I always had that thing where I almost get sick. I didn't this time, luckily, but I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm just mad with inactivity.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. And that sort of activity where it's a very clear directive. Once you get it started, you basically know what you're doing the entire time. There are no curve balls.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. You can't work on it enough. There's no amount that is. You'll never be like, oh, I did it all. Because there's even some jokes I fucked up and I didn't forgot. There's stuff I forgot to say. But it's fine.
Bridger Weiniger
Sure.
Johnny Pemberton
Because everything's great.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm sure it's wonderful.
Johnny Pemberton
It's outstanding. It's so good. It's so. I'm so happy with it. I can't believe it. But it's still one of those things where it's like the drop off, you know, the continental shelf kind of thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, yeah, of course.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. That's why I'm in that place now where it's super deep. I'm like, what do I do?
Bridger Weiniger
But then you can pave. How does that even work? In front of your house you got little pavers.
Johnny Pemberton
I have bricks, but a bunch of them were broken.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
And they're a weird, weird size because they're like legacy bricks.
Bridger Weiniger
What's a legacy brick?
Johnny Pemberton
It's a brick that doesn't exist now because now Home Depot and Lowe's, they have. They have two sizes. Everything, you know, everything is like. Everything's been winnowed down to the most generic version of the thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. There's no.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, if you want character, you have to go like a specialty store in Pasadena and talk to a guy who's like, surly. But if you. And so there's no. I'm not going to find the bricks. So I decided to cut some bricks I had that were longer. Oh, and I bought a chisel. Doesn't work. Even my neighbor who's an engineer tried it. Doesn't work. So I had to get a special masonry saw blade to cut them. Worked like a dream. Worked a fucking dream. But then I got to set them in by the masonry sand. Get the fucking polymetric sand to fill in the cracks, like grout, all this crap.
Bridger Weiniger
This is also. How are you teaching yourself to do this? This is what. I'm always so curious with you. Where I'm like, where is the information coming from before you know how to do it? Because I could. Oh, you are watching.
Johnny Pemberton
It's the Library of Babylon. I heard someone say that once. It's like basically this thing where we have all the information that's ever existed just in this little, you know, controlled by a massive, you know, semi governmental entity. But.
Bridger Weiniger
But you can kind of learn to lay bricks, all kinds of things like that.
Johnny Pemberton
Can't be that hard.
Bridger Weiniger
So are you done laying all the bricks now?
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, I did, and it was only four bricks. I was Replacing.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh four.
Johnny Pemberton
But I had to regrout it all. So I did that all in one day.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. I'm basically asking this because I'm like, I'm trying to gather information from my own yard.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Because my whole lawn in the backyard is dead because of our new dog has peed all over it.
Johnny Pemberton
That's good.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm replacing the lawn with clover. I think maybe just with St. Augustine Rock or something else.
Johnny Pemberton
That's why I just did that too yesterday.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, you did.
Johnny Pemberton
So I have this new technique. So what you do. Because clover. We tried clover. Didn't fucking work.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
I don't know why. I think because the trees were just too much canopy. So it's shading it out too much. You take a bunch of. Just like they get the cheapest bags of topsoil, spread that out. Then you buy bags of pebble. Like little pebbles.
Bridger Weiniger
Those tiny little pebbles, right?
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. They come in like a bag of like 40, 50 pound bags. You put the dirt down and you spread that pebble out. And what it does, it creates sort of like a surface you can walk on when it's wet. And. And maybe something will grow there if it does. It does.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
But it's also a nice surface that's not like dirty because you have enough pebble to be. I think that's great.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, and I needed this because playing fetch with her in the backyard is also with muddy or grass. It's a total disaster every time.
Johnny Pemberton
All the way.
Bridger Weiniger
So gravel. This is probably the wave of the future. All of these other ground cover things. I'm like, I guess if you're not walking on them or I don't know, I don't believe that they're actually going to grow in my yard. Maybe somebody else could pull it off.
Johnny Pemberton
Clover's good. But you got to fence off the area for like three.
Bridger Weiniger
I don't have that time.
Johnny Pemberton
Exactly. And the dog needs to do something.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. That's a usable space that has to be used every single. Multiple times a day. So what am I supposed to do in the meantime?
Johnny Pemberton
Exactly. We had a little. A little strip. A little poop and piss strip.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. Right.
Johnny Pemberton
And that.
Bridger Weiniger
You know, my dog won't go in the neighborhood. We take her on. She's very polite in that way. And of course I take bags with me every time. But she refuses to use the neighborhood as a toilet. I don't know why. So that's causing me a decent amount of trouble.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I don't know.
Johnny Pemberton
But this art does both.
Bridger Weiniger
Does both. See, I Would like to get to the point where we're doing both. Kind of a hybrid situation. Because the walks right now are purely for exercise and smelling. I would like to throw in using the toilet. I don't know how to get her to that point.
Johnny Pemberton
Is she shy? Is she like a scared dog?
Bridger Weiniger
Apparently, when we send her on these pack walks once a week and she does it then, so I don't understand. But that's in Griffith park, so maybe she's feeling more in nature or whatever. Are you walking your dog out for long walks or is it just every day?
Johnny Pemberton
I do about 20 minute walk because she demands it.
Bridger Weiniger
She demands it.
Johnny Pemberton
She won't leave me alone. She's a wonderful dog. We got her about. She's almost two years old. We got her about just under a year. We love her. She's super sweet.
Bridger Weiniger
Is she small or big dog?
Johnny Pemberton
She's 55 pounds.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, nice. Genius. Which to me is small. Yeah, right, right.
Johnny Pemberton
Her medium size. Yeah, she's great. But she's also just so annoying because she's like the cutest thing in the world. She's like a model. She's honestly like a fucking model.
Bridger Weiniger
Like, what sort of dog is she?
Johnny Pemberton
She's a golden.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, okay. Gorgeous.
Johnny Pemberton
And she just is one of those dogs where she knows she sits pretty. She's like, knows. I don't know how she knows, but somehow this dog knows that, like, oh, she looks good and she's gonna get what she wants.
Bridger Weiniger
How old is she?
Johnny Pemberton
She's almost two years old.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, okay. Adorable. Yeah. Our dog is gorgeous as well. But she doesn't know how to sit. She doesn't know how to. She kind of. Every sitting position is very awkward looking. She doesn't quite know where her body is in space. And she's very. I mean, she stopped barking at strangers, which is nice.
Johnny Pemberton
That's good.
Bridger Weiniger
But she's like almost 75 pounds. So when she starts barking or jumping at things, you feel bad.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. We had a dog like that before this and she was even bigger. And it's like, you know, you have a big dog, it's that thing where you just can't, you know, there's just a different thing between a big dog and a small dog. They can do the same activity, but one is acceptable. One's like, people are scared. She's.
Bridger Weiniger
One's like, this is a monster. This person's irresponsible with their dog ownership. Did you train your own dog or did you bring somebody into the situation?
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, I did both. My wife trained her Mostly. And we took her to a class really close by to, to our house. This lady was very, very good at training. She was like the star of the class too. She already had training.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right. She came in kind of as a sheep.
Johnny Pemberton
She came in as a little ringer. So we trained her, but she needs to get trained again. I think it's time for round two.
Bridger Weiniger
I think the only thing we need to train our dog is to stop barking at 5:30am That's a struggle.
Johnny Pemberton
That's too early.
Bridger Weiniger
That's a tough thing. I've had to, like, I've started putting in earplugs and then having to put on noise canceling headphones while I'm sleeping.
Johnny Pemberton
Does she sleep in the same room as you?
Bridger Weiniger
No, she's crate trained. She's only a year old, so I think once she gets a little older, she'll start sleeping in the same bed. But right now it's like we're still in a territory of waking up in her pee, you know, could be.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Gosh, that's rough.
Bridger Weiniger
Where's your dog sleeping?
Johnny Pemberton
She sleeps in the crate in our bedroom.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
But she does wake up at, you know, earlier than I want to get up.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right, yeah, the crate. Because our dog's so big, the crate is huge. So it's like to put it in the bedroom would feel crazy.
Johnny Pemberton
We are crazy. We have no space.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, you have no space. Okay. So that's what we would be dealing with. And I just refuse.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, I don't know, you're right. That's funny that it's loud enough to. Oh, she barks.
Bridger Weiniger
She's an extremely loud bark because she's a huge dog. So. And she's relentless and there's no need for it because, you know, she doesn't. She's also a large dog, so she doesn't really necessarily need to go to the bathroom at that time. She's eaten like probably five hours prior to this. There's no element of it where it's like she's in physical need, but she's just ready to get up and start doing things.
Johnny Pemberton
Have you tried not letting her out?
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, that's what we've started doing where like we, you know, we just let her bark as long as possible until she stops. But that could be a lot. You feel terrible, first of all. And second of all, it's very annoying. So there's a kind of a two pronged approach by her to get out of the crate. But I think we're getting to a point that Were at least able to be like, we're just not gonna do this. Because then she knows, and then she's in control of the house. I don't know.
Johnny Pemberton
Saw some trainers say, whatever you do with your dog, that's training them. So it doesn't matter. Whatever you. Yeah, whatever habitual activity you do that is training.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
Whether you think you're training them, whether you're actively training them, they are being trained. So whatever you do. Like, I really trained our dog to get a walk at, like, 10am Right. Not because I want to, because she asked me enough.
Bridger Weiniger
And you agreed enough.
Johnny Pemberton
And so she gets it.
Bridger Weiniger
This is me with giving the dog an ice cube. Every time I use the ice cube machine, they know she hears the noise. It's time for an ice cube.
Johnny Pemberton
It takes, like, three repetitions and they're in.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, I'm happy to give an ice cube.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. Sometimes it's like one or two times, and then that's just what they are for the rest of their life.
Johnny Pemberton
I've seen these dogs that have to have their food microwaved. No, there's dogs that, like, get habituated to that, and they don't actually microwave the food. They just turn the microwave on for, like, five seconds and then take it out and act like the dog's satisfied.
Bridger Weiniger
How do you get caught in that trap?
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's. It just happens accidentally, once or twice when the dog refuses to eat. Until that, you do it. Then when you do it, you're teaching them to expect it. Once you do it, like, five or ten times, it's over.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Our old dog Edie would. Every time we would go to get a drink of water, she would go to her dish and get water. She just learned to do that.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
They're little computers.
Bridger Weiniger
They are little computers. They're smarter than you think they are and also dumber than you think. Like, they're just programmable creatures. Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
They're so impressionable.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, they're very sweet. Well, I think there's something else we should talk about. You were on the podcast, I think, a couple of years ago at this point.
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's been a while. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Horrifying. And we had a wonderful time. You did bring a gift, which was unfortunate.
Johnny Pemberton
I know. I just can't help myself.
Bridger Weiniger
Hand truck. And today, again, that's how I was raised. And you're kind of programmed in a way. You brought a gift. Should we open it here on the podcast?
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Bridger Weiniger
It's beautifully wrapped.
Johnny Pemberton
Yes, beautifully wrapped.
Bridger Weiniger
I kind of knew immediately that's a gift for me. It's wrapped in this. Is this a track jacket?
Johnny Pemberton
It's a track jacket.
Bridger Weiniger
Beautiful. Kind of a Kelly green.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, yeah. I haven't even worn it yet.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, you haven't worn it yet?
Johnny Pemberton
I was gonna wear it today, but it's just so hot.
Bridger Weiniger
I want to look at it before I see the gif. This is a great jacket.
Johnny Pemberton
It's a great one. I picked it up at a vintage store. Of course.
Bridger Weiniger
Very nice.
Johnny Pemberton
Of course.
Bridger Weiniger
Of course.
Johnny Pemberton
Of course. I didn't just buy it. I got it at a vintage store.
Bridger Weiniger
It is a nice vintage.
Johnny Pemberton
In my travels, during one of my many travels, I travel for work. You see, when I travel for work, I tend to shop a little bit at my off time. When I'm not filming on camera, I do a bit of shopping at local vintage stores. That's where I procured some things. Funky little boutiques. I love a funky little boutique staffed by a peculiar young man.
Bridger Weiniger
Where was this purchased?
Johnny Pemberton
In Winnipeg, Canada.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, so internationally.
Johnny Pemberton
Of course. Of course. I tend to be traveling internationally. As I do have a passport, I get to use it quite often.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, well, let me hand this back to you. Oh my God. You're really, like, filling out my garage in a way.
Johnny Pemberton
I got him. No one else is gonna.
Bridger Weiniger
Last time you brought me a hand truck.
Johnny Pemberton
I did. The hand truck is such a good hand truck.
Bridger Weiniger
It's an excellent hand truck. And now you've brought me, I actually have to look at this to even tell. Oh, it's a folding saw. This is really weapon level saw.
Johnny Pemberton
Well, it's more for tree trimming, I think. It's not really a weapon. It's not really like a blade, but
Bridger Weiniger
it feels like you could whip it open, you know, like a switchblade.
Johnny Pemberton
You could try, but fixers makes it pretty safe.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right.
Johnny Pemberton
It's got a button on there as a guard, like a. A lock.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, should I open it?
Johnny Pemberton
You should just slide that backing up.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, so it's not one of these like painful plastic. Let's open this thing.
Johnny Pemberton
I think this is Danish, right? Fixers is Danish.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Seems Danish to me.
Johnny Pemberton
Some sort of Scandinavian thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow, look at that thing. I've never seen one. I've seen a lot of tools.
Johnny Pemberton
So you have to push the button down to open it, but be careful.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, okay. I was expecting it to just split up.
Johnny Pemberton
No, it's not.
Bridger Weiniger
Possibly be the.
Johnny Pemberton
It's not an automatic knife. Those are actually illegal in California.
Bridger Weiniger
Look at that. That's gorgeous.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. So you can trim a tree easily. Trim a little branch, you know.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, this is something I need all the time in my yard.
Johnny Pemberton
That's what I figured.
Bridger Weiniger
I've been using something that is not the correct tool for this. Yeah. Like, it's beyond a snipper. It's like a pretty powerful.
Johnny Pemberton
A lopper, maybe.
Bridger Weiniger
A lopper.
Johnny Pemberton
Is it a hand one or a cranker?
Bridger Weiniger
It's one where you almost have to use two hands to press it together.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. If you have to use two hands, that's wrong.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. And so it's like when I'm clipping things, I don't even. It must be too cut. What would you even cut?
Johnny Pemberton
That'd be a smaller thing, like an inch or less.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. And probably more. Less organic things. Probably like wire or.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, you shouldn't be using that for that. Certainly you need a lopper or like just a trimmer. But that'll work for like a big diameter, 2 or 3 inch diameter. I'll cut easily through that.
Bridger Weiniger
How often are you trimming your trees?
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, I'm trimming. If I'm not, I'm out there too much. It's like a rat, you know, I'm just always out there touching and moving and stuff.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right. It's like kind of constant.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, I have a bad habit. It's almost like an OCD thing where if I'll be talking to my neighbor and I'll be pulling weeds as we're talking, which I think.
Bridger Weiniger
I think is Very healthy.
Johnny Pemberton
It is. But it's also, when I think about it, it's kind of disrespectful to be pulling weeds as you're talking to someone.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. You're like not putting all of your energy into. But I feel like it just feels like something that grounds the conversation in a way where you're doing something with your hands. You have to be doing something with your hands when you're talking to people. Why not have it be a project?
Johnny Pemberton
If I can get a good phone call going, I'm unstoppable.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, while you're out in the garden?
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that's a great idea. That's like my thing, because this is my big problem with talking on the phone is I'm just like, I'm wasting time right now. My body is worthless. I should start rolling calls while doing yard work.
Johnny Pemberton
It is the ultimate thing ever. I've been doing it for so long. But something about it is just that if you can get any kind of gardening on the phone call.
Bridger Weiniger
That sounds lovely. Because I do like talking to my friends on the phone and I feel like this is a way to. Because I'm kind of running out of energy to see friends for dinner.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Isn't that weird how that, like, I feel like nowadays that would be. It's like a big deal.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
We're gonna have dinner. Okay. Oh, gosh. Okay. We're gonna have. We're gonna meet. Even lunch is more casual, but even then.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
It's just right in the middle of the day.
Bridger Weiniger
Then it just ruins the day. Then the day is just like on both sides. It's just, what am I going to do then?
Johnny Pemberton
Right.
Bridger Weiniger
But a phone call while doing something practical feels. Last night I was having. I probably had a 45 minute call about Love is Blind and did nothing with my time except for talk about people I don't know marrying each other.
Johnny Pemberton
But that's kind of nice, I suppose. I mean, I guess it depends. You could say that what I'm doing is a little bit, I don't know, not disrespectful. But it's that thing where I'm like, I'm doing something else while doing that thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. But it's not looking at your phone that to me is like the rage that will go through me if I'm trying to talk to somebody and they're still looking at their phone. That feeling is horrible. But I feel like if there's something that's repetitive that just feels like a thing that's just. They're sure? Do it.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, go for it.
Bridger Weiniger
But yeah, I'm in my backyard kind of. I eat breakfast back there every day and then it just becomes a dream thing of where I just start doing things with the yard.
Johnny Pemberton
What are you having for breakfast?
Bridger Weiniger
So boring. Just a protein bar and some coffee.
Johnny Pemberton
A protein bar?
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. What are you eating?
Johnny Pemberton
I'm. I mean, I'm moving now. Okay. I've been doing this is my breakfast for the past like maybe six months. I do like, like granola, a little bit of high fiber cereal, a couple like maybe four or five heaping tablespoons of no sugar, plain full fat yogurt, hopefully sheep. Add some dried cranberries in there. Add maybe like a little bit of a pinch of salt, some cinnamon. And then I'm probably good there, maybe a little bit of water because it has to water down. But I want to move into overnight oats. I want to start making my own overnight oats.
Bridger Weiniger
I've tried in the past and they were a disaster.
Johnny Pemberton
How was it a disaster?
Bridger Weiniger
I don't think I. I don't know if I put in the right ingredients or the right portions, but it just ended up tasting like very bland mush.
Johnny Pemberton
I got a surprise for you. Wait, you're telling me it tasted like bland mush?
Bridger Weiniger
I was expecting spice fireworks out of oatmeal that was left in the fridge overnight.
Johnny Pemberton
It tastes like bland mush.
Bridger Weiniger
No, but you see these pictures on Instagram and it's like that is that looks like the best thing that's ever been made. The berries, the peanut butter. What? And then I make it myself and
Johnny Pemberton
I'm like, that's because you're not adding a bunch of unnecessary sugar.
Bridger Weiniger
Right? I guess that's. But I don't like sweet things.
Johnny Pemberton
You don't?
Bridger Weiniger
I don't really care. Especially in the morning. I would prefer it not to be too sweet.
Johnny Pemberton
I love sweets.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
But if you were to make overnight oats, what would you put in yours?
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be the best oats.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
I'm gonna be some almond milk probably maybe some oat milk. Just a little bit, not too much.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
I'm gonna ground grind some chia seeds. Because you can't have the whole chia seeds. I'm not looking to evacuate. I'm not looking to absorb the nutrients of the chia seeds.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. Because if you just eat a full chia seed, it's just flying through you.
Johnny Pemberton
That's just like a little like time traveler. It's a little escape pod for the seed. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do some, probably some granola, probably some berries of some kind.
Bridger Weiniger
Sure.
Johnny Pemberton
And definitely I'll top it off with some yogurt. Upon serving. Maybe some almond butter, maybe some peanut butter.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. See, the problem with all of this is you're introducing a lot of choice. A lot of like having to decide. And me in the morning especially, I like, I cannot operate.
Johnny Pemberton
I feel like the opposite eliminates choice because I made it the night before.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh. But then the night before, I'm panicking, really. And I'm wondering, will I actually want to eat this tomorrow?
Johnny Pemberton
If you don't want to eat it? Because I want to eat it so bad.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, in the moment, of course I want to eat it. But in the morning, I might wake up in a different mood.
Johnny Pemberton
Man.
Bridger Weiniger
See, I need something. I'm just like. I know I won't enjoy it that much, but I feel like I think
Johnny Pemberton
we're just hitting the nail on the head here. I don't know how you're denying this. It sounds like the perfect thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Maybe I just need to give it more of a shot. I tried this also with egg bites, you know, making, you know, like the
Johnny Pemberton
Starbucks style egg bite.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. I like to just have some egg in the morning, but I don't want to have to make the whole thing. But then those were disgusting.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Cuz you can't make. Eggs are hard.
Bridger Weiniger
Eggs are extreme. If you fuck up an egg then
Johnny Pemberton
it's just revolting and you gotta do. You gotta do stuff.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, you absolutely have to do stuff.
Johnny Pemberton
I like a cold breakfast.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, I guess I. Unless somebody else has made it for me.
Johnny Pemberton
Right.
Bridger Weiniger
Like I love like breakfast at a diner or something.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, but breakfast at a diner is too good.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, exactly.
Johnny Pemberton
I can't have that.
Bridger Weiniger
Can you imagine making all of those elements as well as a diner could make them at home?
Johnny Pemberton
I'll be sick. If I have that kind of breakfast every day, I'll be sick.
Bridger Weiniger
And it would take an hour and a half to prepare the breakfast.
Johnny Pemberton
I'll eat so much bacon and eggs and toast. Christ on a crutch. You ever heard that expression, Christ on a crutch?
Bridger Weiniger
Where did that come from?
Johnny Pemberton
Some like Midwestern Catholic on a crutch?
Bridger Weiniger
What does that even mean?
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's like, oh, oh God. Jesus Samaria and Joseph. Christ on a crutch. You can't have bacon every morning. Oh God, that's too much.
Bridger Weiniger
Is the crutch just because of the alliteration, maybe because.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, I think it's just the alliteration. It's just the.
Bridger Weiniger
Because we're not picturing. I mean, like, now we're just imagining this biblical figure on a crutch.
Johnny Pemberton
Jesus on a crutch. Poor Jesus.
Bridger Weiniger
Jesus on a jumper. Jesus on a Jesus.
Johnny Pemberton
Maria used to hear that a lot.
Bridger Weiniger
I bet you have a lot of those in the Midwest.
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, a little bit.
Bridger Weiniger
I feel like that's probably the birthplace of a lot of that sort of
Johnny Pemberton
phrase, that in the south, too.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. The south has got a lot of wild sections. Yeah. My boyfriend has, I think, has kind of conjured a thing, talk the chicken off a bone, which feels like something real, but I don't know that it's actually real.
Johnny Pemberton
Is that Southern?
Bridger Weiniger
It feels Southern, right?
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God. He could talk the chicken off a bone.
Bridger Weiniger
I feel like I've mentioned that on this podcast before, and usually people will be like, you know, actually, or tell you immediately or diagnose you with some sort of illness, but no one had heard of this. But that feels like it's been around since the beginning of time.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Talk the chicken off a bone.
Johnny Pemberton
They could talk the chicken off a bone. Stay away from Jim. Stay away from him. You want to keep your pockets full. Don't talk to him. He can talk to chicken off a bone.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Your current breakfast is kind of like a dream breakfast for me. Granola and yogurt.
Johnny Pemberton
Join me.
Bridger Weiniger
Maybe that's my thing is I just need to get some nice plain yogurt. I don't like a sweetened yogurt.
Johnny Pemberton
I cannot stand a sweetened yogurt.
Bridger Weiniger
A sweetened slime, essentially. It's disgusting.
Johnny Pemberton
You remember that part of Toddlers and Tiaras from years ago? The girl being like, eh, I can smell the hairspray. I just conjured that in my head when I went, there's a little girl. They have a Sloan. This is from 15 years ago. If I read little girl. And she's got a super thick Southern accent, but there's some Internet meme that has it slowed down. And she's talking about hairspray. She's like, I can smell it right now. It would sound nasty. That's a sweetened yogurt for me.
Bridger Weiniger
Those little girls were old souls.
Johnny Pemberton
They were old souls. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I wonder where they are now.
Johnny Pemberton
God, I don't want to know.
Bridger Weiniger
No one wants to know.
Johnny Pemberton
That's one of those things where it's like, it's either bad or worse.
Bridger Weiniger
There's no way that that like went. Ended up in medical school or dead or jail. That's the new TLC show.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Catching Dead or Jail.
Bridger Weiniger
They probably had something in that realm. Tlc. Anytime a TLC thing gets recommended to me, I just think, who. Where did this start from? What evil person had this idea?
Johnny Pemberton
God, we've fallen so far. History Channel.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, the History Channel.
Johnny Pemberton
Tlc.
Bridger Weiniger
Those things used to be kind of A and E. A and E? Oh my God, are you kidding?
Johnny Pemberton
Arts and Entertainment.
Bridger Weiniger
Bravo. Bravo used to be like the Opera Channel. Was it really? I think so.
Johnny Pemberton
Everything has just gone to the. I mean, not even the dogs.
Bridger Weiniger
Not even. Oh, give me a break. No, this is just gone.
Johnny Pemberton
Not even the rats. What is it? It's gone. Like the deep rats, those little pill bugs that eat stuff. It's gone to the roaches.
Bridger Weiniger
A restaurant in my neighborhood recently got shut down for rodents. And a place I had eaten at probably once every six weeks at least. So that was a terrible feeling. But rodents are taking over la.
Johnny Pemberton
Are there really?
Bridger Weiniger
There's a rat problem?
Johnny Pemberton
No way.
Bridger Weiniger
Rats everywhere. I don't know.
Johnny Pemberton
Is that true?
Bridger Weiniger
According to me.
Johnny Pemberton
Okay, I wasn't sure that's what I was asking because Perception, you know.
Bridger Weiniger
But I've seen a lot of rats in the last couple of years. Way more than I have in the last. You know, I've lived here for almost 16 years.
Johnny Pemberton
That makes sense though, because that's sort of like the. One of those things where that's an indicator species.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, interesting. That's tough to hear. That's right. What are the other indicators? I guess I can go the other direction too. Or an indicator species can be like a high end dog when those start showing up in your neighborhood. Gentrification sort of thing. So say.
Johnny Pemberton
I think indicator species is an actual term that I used wrong.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, interesting. So what else could it mean then?
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's indicator species. I'm going to say it wrong, but it has to do with something with population decline in terms of certain species show up when there's more of them. I don't fucking know.
Bridger Weiniger
But it kind of like. It feels like you've used it in a proper, ish way.
Johnny Pemberton
I have a good friend who's a biologist, so he probably said it and I was like, oh, yeah, I might use that.
Bridger Weiniger
But they like probably in the correct sense it's more just to do with actual ecosystems and how they affect each other or something.
Johnny Pemberton
But we're hardcore in the Holocene now, right? No, sorry, the Anthropocene.
Bridger Weiniger
No, I'm not familiar.
Johnny Pemberton
The Anthropocene is a term that I'm pretty sure it's like. Like we're definitely in it now.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
Like instead of the. Whatever the previous era was, we're now on the Anthropocene, which means that we're in the era that is so significantly influenced by man that we are. It's a different thing completely. It's considered a different. You know how there's like the Holocene and there's like the.
Bridger Weiniger
And there were like pleasing eras where like nature or animals also had some level of impact on what was going on.
Johnny Pemberton
Those are huge, massive, long eras where this is when this type of. The saber toothed tiger existed in this era.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
So we're out of that era now, but now we're in this era called the Anthropocene, which means that humans have so significantly impacted their environment that it's caused us to scientists to definitively describe the era as being different than the previous one.
Bridger Weiniger
I wonder. That must have been in the last hundred years or so.
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's pretty. Even more recently.
Bridger Weiniger
Even more recently.
Johnny Pemberton
And this is not like a debate thing. This is something where all scientists agree that this is very much the case.
Bridger Weiniger
I can't imagine what the next era could even possibly be.
Johnny Pemberton
We're gonna be in this for a while, probably, right?
Bridger Weiniger
Until we're our own undoing.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Until it's like just jellyfish. Right? Just jellyfish and maybe like God knows what else on the land.
Bridger Weiniger
Anthropocene.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, the Anthropocene.
Bridger Weiniger
Fast. I mean, terrifying.
Johnny Pemberton
It's terrifying, but it's also kind of that thing where it's like, I take. What's it called when you take something you feel good about? I can't think of any words today. But you know, I feel like, well, we're all in this now. It's unchangeable.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
We're just in this. We're in a different era because like this, this idea where people talk about plants being invasive, you know, how this person, you know, sometimes it's me, but I've pulled back from that because everything. We're surrounded by invasive species. We're surrounded by non natives.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Johnny Pemberton
They just proliferate everywhere.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
And so it's kind of like this thing now where like I was arguing with someone about jasmine. Someone was saying that the jasmine's in bloom now. Like, well, it's not actually. You're smelling something else. Unless you have some sort of weird microclimate, you're not smelling jasmine right now.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
You're smelling citrus blossoms, which smell incredible. You're smelling a different thing that looks like Jasmine. It's not technically whatever the scientific name for Jasmine, which is this crazy hard to repeat name because Jasmine's non native.
Bridger Weiniger
Right? Sure.
Johnny Pemberton
So that's this thing where we're all habituated to think something is normal because it's been around for, I don't know, 100 years.
Bridger Weiniger
Everyone who is currently alive's lifetime.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. They understand this as, oh, this is just how it is. When technically that is not a normal thing at all.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
But we're just so habituated to it that we think it's like, oh, this is normal, when actually it's fully not at all.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. And so you're saying this with the Anthropocene. You're saying, well, I'm just going to embrace it at this point.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, we're in it.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Like there's nothing. There's no undoing it. So now how do we make the best of this situation?
Johnny Pemberton
Exactly. It's over kind of thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
Like, did you see this thing about. This is so stupid, but I found out there's a book a woman wrote. I didn't have to read it, but it's about ice. Not about the goon squad, but literally about ice.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. Frozen water.
Johnny Pemberton
And it just blew my mind because you realize that all human life in the world pretty much in any type of even mildly first world setting has been radically changed since we have the ability to refrigerate things.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right.
Johnny Pemberton
You get ice. Yeah. I'm sure it's like completely different.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Like, I mean the things that. That allows like from like science to like luxury things.
Johnny Pemberton
It's so different. Like the lifestyle we have has been everything for before ice, everywhere you went was different because we don't have any ice.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. Like it leveled the playing footfield and stuff.
Johnny Pemberton
Right. You know what I mean?
Bridger Weiniger
The idea of like there being a period when like there was just. It was literally impossible to be. You were out in a desert area and there was just. How would you have ice?
Johnny Pemberton
What you got is what you got.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. These are the things you're dealing with. And if you want to preserve something, it's got to be in salt.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. And now that is everywhere.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. That's probably one of the biggest things that like on the same level of fire.
Johnny Pemberton
It's huge. It's so huge where I'm seeing this. I gotta read the book because.
Bridger Weiniger
Fascinating.
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, it's just called ice.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
But you know my question, it made me feel like an idiot. Because I'm thinking, oh, all this time I haven't realized that so many things in our life are just. They're completely and totally influenced by refrigeration. We would be living completely different lives.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, my God. Absolutely.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, we wouldn't have any sort of medication.
Johnny Pemberton
There'd just be. Everything would be so much more localized. Like the way you do it over there. Oh, that's how they do it. Because, you know, they got hot. It's cold then, right?
Bridger Weiniger
Ice. Oh, that's very interesting. I'm curious about that.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Tough time for that book title, but.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God, the worst.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
The worst.
Bridger Weiniger
Is there anything left to say about this saw?
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, check it out. If you push down that button and push it the other direction, like, you're not gonna fold it. So push here.
Bridger Weiniger
You do it. Because I'm scared.
Johnny Pemberton
So watch this. You can do, like, an undercut.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that's great.
Johnny Pemberton
Isn't that cool? Wow.
Bridger Weiniger
What a piece of engineering.
Johnny Pemberton
I know these Danish or maybe Swedes, who knows? They've been making this stuff, like, over 100 years.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh. least. Right.
Johnny Pemberton
You could probably cut some ice with this and sell it to people in the tropics.
Bridger Weiniger
Have you ever been to Antarctica?
Johnny Pemberton
No.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. That feels like a place that you would travel.
Johnny Pemberton
I was obsessed with it for a long time because there's this great book called Big Dead Place by Nicholas Johnson. I communicated with him a couple times. He's not alive anymore.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, sure.
Johnny Pemberton
But, I mean, this book is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my entire life.
Bridger Weiniger
Big Dead Place.
Johnny Pemberton
Big Dead Place. It's all about Antarctica. Because there's this myth by Antarctica that's all scientists, Right?
Bridger Weiniger
Sure. Right.
Johnny Pemberton
Four out of five people there are, like, support workers. Like, dishwasher.
Bridger Weiniger
Of course. Right.
Johnny Pemberton
Truck driver. Just like, you know, labor person.
Bridger Weiniger
That are kind of keeping it all up for these other people.
Johnny Pemberton
And Antarctica, for the most part, is run by Raytheon.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh.
Johnny Pemberton
Which is a defense contractor.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. Right.
Johnny Pemberton
So rpsc, Raytheon Polar Services.
Bridger Weiniger
It's kind of eerie.
Johnny Pemberton
It is. And it's so just wrought with bureaucracy in a way that is comical.
Bridger Weiniger
How many people do you think are currently living in Antarctica? It's gotta be an extremely small population.
Johnny Pemberton
During the winter, it's pretty small, but I think the summer, it booms significantly. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I wonder what the social scene feels like.
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's a lot of drinking.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. And boredom.
Johnny Pemberton
And, like, a lot of people having sex with someone who they don't care what they look like.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. This is very Love Island. Very. This feels like a reality.
Johnny Pemberton
I think it would be the reality show that people wouldn't want to watch.
Bridger Weiniger
Like, imagine being like, miserable.
Johnny Pemberton
It's full darkness for about five or six months.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
Like fully dark.
Bridger Weiniger
Have you been to a place where the day, night cycle is like that? Like been in Alaska during the summer or anything? It's so crazy. I was in Alaska during the summer once, and what an unsettling feeling for it to be like 4 or like 2am still light. It's noon. Your body doesn't know what to do with it, so.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
And for it to be completely dark, I don't know if I'd be able to handle it.
Johnny Pemberton
How long were you there for?
Bridger Weiniger
Just like a week. And so it was like. My dad had to say it was a business trip. My brother and I went along and kind of we fished and then we like saw Fast and Furious in the movie theater.
Johnny Pemberton
That's a cool. I love seeing a movie in a place, you know, I mean, it's a great.
Bridger Weiniger
Like, it's a kind of a waste of a vacation or traveling, but it is an interesting feeling. It's like, because it's such a. Such a thing you associate with doing while at home.
Johnny Pemberton
It's also like, you go to. I always go to McDonald's when I'm in a foreign country.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that will really give you a taste of the local cuisine.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. You just check out, like, how they doing it here.
Bridger Weiniger
Right, right. Yeah. I like to be in a movie theater in a foreign place. I don't know. Especially in Alaska, that's not quite a movie town. But to see Fast and the Furious and then go like deep sea fishing and be throwing up on a boat.
Johnny Pemberton
What'd you catch?
Bridger Weiniger
I caught nothing because I was so seasick. It was me, my dad and brother, and then a grandmother and her granddaughter who was pregnant. So the granddaughter who was pregnant and I were just throwing up the whole time.
Johnny Pemberton
Damn.
Bridger Weiniger
And then my. My father and brother were fishing, so I didn't get to catch anything. But did they catch anything? Yeah, I think they did. Halibut, I think.
Johnny Pemberton
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
Did they get it smoked?
Bridger Weiniger
No.
Johnny Pemberton
Sent home.
Bridger Weiniger
We. I think we just. I think it was sent home. This is a long time ago. Frozen.
Johnny Pemberton
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
But we. Then we did some fishing that was not deep sea fishing and caught salmon, I think.
Johnny Pemberton
Nice.
Bridger Weiniger
But we were like fishing and you could see bears. It was incredible. It's not really like a thing that I would ever Seek out, you know, it's not exactly my thing, but I. I mean, it was wonderful. Fascinating. We also lived in, like, an Airbnb. Well, it was a. What do we used to call those?
Johnny Pemberton
I don't know, like a rental.
Bridger Weiniger
A rental?
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, a rented house.
Bridger Weiniger
It was like a rented basement of a woman who we think may have been spying on us with a. Like a cyber camera.
Johnny Pemberton
She's got it. What else is she gonna do?
Bridger Weiniger
Truly, those endless nights. Gosh, those endless nights.
Johnny Pemberton
Why did you think that?
Bridger Weiniger
Because this was so long ago that my brother had to. He was, like, an early ebay person, and he was selling something. He was, like, 15 at the time, but was selling something on ebay and had to borrow her computer, I think, to use ebay. And then saw her Internet history, and there was, like, hidden shower cameras that she had been searching for.
Johnny Pemberton
Ooh, that's fucked. That's against the law.
Bridger Weiniger
Maybe not at the time. Maybe. I don't know.
Johnny Pemberton
Wow.
Bridger Weiniger
But yeah, that was. And we found out that her screen name was Lusty Lady Linda. Wow.
Johnny Pemberton
Linda's got a second life, huh?
Bridger Weiniger
She might have footage of me.
Johnny Pemberton
Damn.
Bridger Weiniger
Who knows? But that was a fun thing to discover while, like, being in somebody's rented basement. Weird vacation.
Johnny Pemberton
That sounds fun, though. That again. I feel like it's maybe, you know, we're not doing that anymore. Now everyone's like, you hit the code to check in, you see company running it.
Bridger Weiniger
You're not meeting the people who are spying on you.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, if you meet me, I'll let you.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, I'll let you do whatever you want with me. Take care. Do whatever you want. But if you're in some office for.
Johnny Pemberton
No, I'm sick of it all.
Bridger Weiniger
I feel like you're a. Do you fish?
Johnny Pemberton
I have, but I'm not.
Bridger Weiniger
You're not like, an outdoorsy person?
Johnny Pemberton
I'm a very outdoorsy person, but I'm not like a. I wouldn't say I'm like a big fisher.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. You're more like hiking, camping.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. I mean, I love fishing. I don't like eating a lot of fish.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, okay.
Johnny Pemberton
But I mean, I just love the. I don't know. I like all that stuff. Anything outdoors. I'm into it on. On some level. I'm not, like, really good at being out there for a long time.
Bridger Weiniger
What's the longest you've been out for?
Johnny Pemberton
Excuse me? Probably, like, me, four nights off in the backcountry.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, so, like, a big hike sort of situation.
Johnny Pemberton
Every summer, I go with some friends up to Yosemite area.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, beautiful.
Johnny Pemberton
Do about a week up there.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. I've been wanting to go up there for very long time.
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, it's one of the most incredible places in the world.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Any image you see of it, it's like, this is just absolutely stunning.
Johnny Pemberton
There's a reason all these people come from different countries to see that.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
They don't have that shit. They do not have it.
Bridger Weiniger
They're garbage.
Johnny Pemberton
They. That come. You know, that's the thing about the national parks. It's one of those things where I'm kind of like a zealot for America in that sense, where it's kind of
Bridger Weiniger
like these jewels that America happens to have that are protected for now, and other countries, they don't. Well, I mean, other countries, I think, are just beautiful naturally, and they just get to continue being natural. I guess here you have to protect them. Yeah. If there's not the space.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. We have stuff that they just. We just don't. They don't have the same. It's just different.
Bridger Weiniger
And the variety.
Johnny Pemberton
The variety. Everything about it is bigger.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
It's. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Do you have a favorite national park?
Johnny Pemberton
Definitely Yosemite, but it's one I've been to so many times. It's so big, and there's so many places you can go to that are like. If you go on Ansel Adams Wilderness, it's next to Yosemite. You go through there and you feel like this is a fucking dream or something.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow.
Johnny Pemberton
You feel like you're in some sort of AI constructed set.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
Because your pop is little rolling hills, but with all this granite boulders and little pools that are green blue.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. This is something that it's just. For whatever reason my brain takes issue with, whenever somebody says, this looks like another planet, or this looks like AI, I think, no, this is just beautiful Earth. It's just this corny thing in my brain, but I'm just like. But it is just like, this is amazing. This isn't.
Johnny Pemberton
Right. That's because we see the simulacrum before we see the reality of it.
Bridger Weiniger
Right, Right.
Johnny Pemberton
So it's like. It's like when people go to Disneyland, people go to Paris, and they're like, this looks like Disneyland. It's like it's the other way around.
Bridger Weiniger
The way that chieftains are so funny.
Johnny Pemberton
But it's just how it is because we've been. We don't see stuff. We see the fake before we see the real.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. It's so much easier to access artificial things.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
So it's the real.
Johnny Pemberton
You just kind of. It feels fake. Cause it's so pristine.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. That's like growing up in Utah. That's a lot of that sort of thing where it's like, it feels like we're on Mars and it's like. Well, no, it's just. This is what Earth looks like.
Johnny Pemberton
But Utah, man, Utah is just stunning.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. A lot of Utah is very beautiful. And then a lot of it is very beige.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
But the beautiful parts are gorgeous. Well, I'm thrilled. Like, the practicality you're lending to my life is really impressive.
Johnny Pemberton
That's my goal. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, you're also putting tree cutters out of business.
Johnny Pemberton
I think they're still okay.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, I guess. Like, there are parts of these trees that are too high up for me.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. I mean, I have one of those. And I just hired some tree cutters.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. I got a little irresponsible and didn't trim the tree and it fully collapsed in the wind.
Johnny Pemberton
What?
Bridger Weiniger
That was. I mean, it was kind of impressive to see just one.
Johnny Pemberton
What tree was it?
Bridger Weiniger
I'm not sure what sort of tree. And it was big enough that most of it's still alive, but one full trunk collapsed in my yard.
Johnny Pemberton
Wow.
Bridger Weiniger
And was just blocking the entire yard. It was fun to look at for a minute.
Johnny Pemberton
Was it conifer or deciduous?
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I have no idea.
Johnny Pemberton
Was it pine type tree?
Bridger Weiniger
No, not pine type tree. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, I wish I had any idea. Not an oak, because the branches or the trunks are maybe this big around again. They go up in three ways.
Johnny Pemberton
Does it flower?
Bridger Weiniger
No.
Johnny Pemberton
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
Still mostly alive, but I'll be able to do some light trimming, pruning. I think we should play a game.
Johnny Pemberton
Okay, I'm ready.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, we're going to play gift or curse, but I need a number between 1 and 10 from you.
Johnny Pemberton
5.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces, so right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.
Johnny Pemberton
Please continue to watch Fallout on Amazon Prime. Enjoy it. All episodes are available. And then prep yourself to go to the theater and see Mermaid when it comes out on April 8th in most Drafthouse cinemas across the country. Mermaid written directed by Tyler Cornack Starring Johnny Pemberton.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm so excited for Mermaid.
Johnny Pemberton
Me too.
Bridger Weiniger
You've posted a little bit about it, but it seems to already be very well received.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, we had a great time at south by last year.
Bridger Weiniger
What is the movie about?
Johnny Pemberton
It is about a loser guy named Doug who's played by me and he finds A mermaid. But it's not like a beautiful mermaid. This is a creature.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. Something that lives in the ocean.
Johnny Pemberton
Yes, but it is a mermaid. It's an exotic. It's an exotic creature. So he falls in love with it, in a sense, and all this madness
Bridger Weiniger
ensues and people are going gaga over Fallout.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. I mean, that's such a big thing, and it's been around for so long that.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. But it's, like, kind of crossed over in a way where it was like a big video game and now it's like a big everything.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. I guess it's just because they did such a great job with the show. You know, a lot of good casting. I think the best. Yeah, I'm biased, but I would say probably one of the best cast shows.
Bridger Weiniger
I really believe that. Now they just need to get Laurie Metcalf over there.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God. I would be. I'd have to prep myself significantly to be able to speak with her without.
Bridger Weiniger
That would be falling at her feet. Right. Oh, she's the absolute best. Okay, this is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because I have correct answers. All right. These are all from Patreon listeners today. This first one is from Christina. Gift or a curse. Podcasters who routinely talk through a burp.
Johnny Pemberton
Ooh, that's a curse.
Public Investing Representative
Why?
Johnny Pemberton
Because it's someone who is. They just can't take the time to realize that they'll get back the time
Bridger Weiniger
this correct. I mean, correct. This is a total curse for me. Anytime somebody brings up the word podcast on this podcast, I think, are they talking about me? But I can't imagine I've done that before. Have I talked?
Johnny Pemberton
I don't think you have.
Bridger Weiniger
What does that even look like?
Johnny Pemberton
I may have done it today.
Bridger Weiniger
What does that really, like, practically speaking? Are they like, here it is.
Johnny Pemberton
So the thing about these weapons is that people are just always finding them in the street. Streets.
Bridger Weiniger
And that's listener. If I've ever done that. I'm sorry. That feels. What I was imagining is, you know, like, as a kid being like, the gross kid being like, I'll do the ABCs as a burp.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, my God. I forgot that that was such a thing.
Bridger Weiniger
That was a real thing for a while.
Johnny Pemberton
I wanted so badly to be that guy.
Bridger Weiniger
Seems dangerous to me. Okay, so this is more of a. Like, you're just hearing Them like process a bodily something while talking rather than just stepping back for a second. Well, I think that's a curse. And I'm sorry that if I've ever done it and if Christina's kind of passively, aggressively. Passive aggressively coming after me. Christina, I apologize. Christina.
Johnny Pemberton
Christina.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, you've gotten one right so far. Next. This is from Caroline or Carolyn. I don't know. Gift or a curse? Retired ambulances repurposed as plumbing work trucks.
Johnny Pemberton
I don't know that was even a thing. I'd say gift.
Bridger Weiniger
Why?
Johnny Pemberton
I just think anything repurposed is great.
Bridger Weiniger
Correct. I love especially a repurposed truck because trucks come in all sorts of shapes and fun sizes. A repurposed like postal truck or ice cream truck. Those aren't typical vehicles you're seeing other than their exact use. So then when it's a plumbing truck. Has anybody ever done a fire truck other than it seems like a lot of work? Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
Like, what are you gonna do with that?
Bridger Weiniger
What use will that be other than looking like a long rectangle?
Johnny Pemberton
Right. And the gas.
Bridger Weiniger
The gas on those things.
Johnny Pemberton
Those are probably diesel. That's gonna be. That's a big bill.
Bridger Weiniger
This is something I don't understand. When fire people go out to lunch with each other and take the fire truck.
Johnny Pemberton
They do. Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
Have you ever seen this? They'll pull up in front of like a sandwich place. It's like, wait, it doesn't seem like you're coming from or to a job, so they have it ready.
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's when they get the discount.
Bridger Weiniger
But they've already got the costume on.
Johnny Pemberton
Just nothing. Every bit helps. If I were a fire guy, I'll be doing that. You know what I mean? Are there fire ladies?
Bridger Weiniger
There have to be.
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, I feel like there have to be, but I just.
Bridger Weiniger
I have never. Well, I've never been rescued from a fire, first of all. I've never been.
Johnny Pemberton
Thank God,
Bridger Weiniger
knock on wood. I'll never. I haven't been dragged from a burning home or anything, but I've never interacted with a fire woman.
Johnny Pemberton
Right. I haven't either. I'm just thinking, you know, I'm sure there are.
Bridger Weiniger
I will point to progressive times. The living scenario, I guess. I don't know.
Johnny Pemberton
They're shown together.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. I don't want to discount that. I'm sure there are, but it's just. I think it is a very male dominated.
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's very dominated, But I wonder. I wonder now. It's got me wondering.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton
Also sometimes there's that Thing maybe where you know how certain industries. It's not like you can try to make that happen, but it just. Nobody wants to do it.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. The guys down at the station just refuse.
Johnny Pemberton
Well, not even that. It's like they're just. We can't find any women who want to do this.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right. It's just like. Well, the doors open.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. But they're driving those trucks out to the sandwich place. And the gas, I mean, they're blowing through gas. They must be diesel.
Johnny Pemberton
It's gotta be diesel, right? Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Not that that matters, but maybe slightly cheaper. I've never seen one filling up. Maybe they have it at the station.
Johnny Pemberton
They gotta have it at the station.
Bridger Weiniger
Interesting. There are a lot of things about how a fire station works that I'm not familiar with.
Johnny Pemberton
This has become a very much a nine year old boy on the spectrum conversation.
Bridger Weiniger
Absolutely, absolutely.
Johnny Pemberton
We need him to correct us.
Bridger Weiniger
Did you ever. You had that show where you drove big vehicles around.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh my God, forever ago? Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Did you ever drive a fire truck?
Johnny Pemberton
I did.
Bridger Weiniger
You did? Oh my God, I'm so jealous.
Johnny Pemberton
And Salt Lake too. Really? Yeah, it was an airport fire truck.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. How far did you drive it?
Johnny Pemberton
God, not very far. Just kind of around the, like the area where they have a simulated fire.
Bridger Weiniger
So. Okay. Was it hard to drive?
Johnny Pemberton
I don't remember.
Bridger Weiniger
How did that show even come into being?
Johnny Pemberton
It came into being. This was back when MTV was doing stuff like that and they had someone
Bridger Weiniger
create it and they just needed someone to host.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, they auditioned me. They flew me out to Jersey to audition in like the middle of winter against other people. Other people. They were auditioning. Right. Test, like a camera test type thing.
Bridger Weiniger
And did you have to drive for the test?
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, I drove like a semi in a lot with like some. Some dude, I think it was Portuguese. God, I can barely remember this, but I definitely had like a test.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow, that's fascinating.
Johnny Pemberton
And that was enough to make the pilot. He shot the pilot and it got picked up.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Johnny Pemberton
And then I had a different guy come on as showrunner for the show.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Johnny Pemberton
It was a whole thing. It was like a lot of work.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean that's like. I mean that. The logistics of that seems very complicated to me. Putting someone who doesn't drive these things that usually require a license to drive them. Was there any not to just suddenly dive into you driving the car show, but was there any car that was particularly scary to drive?
Johnny Pemberton
All of them. They were all, I think back and I cannot believe I didn't come close. To dying. Of course. I was riding in some motorcycle that was like, it was maybe 20 times the size of a regular motorcycle. For what purpose? Because it was some guy, some wacko dude. Oh.
Bridger Weiniger
It was like novelty, cycle, novelty.
Johnny Pemberton
This thing was not rated by any authority. And we drove over stuff. The fact that it didn't tip over, I would have broken all of my ribs. 100% would have. I was in, like, a metal cage. Would have broken all my ribs. We drove these. These dolphins that were barely, barely tested at all.
Bridger Weiniger
Dolphins.
Johnny Pemberton
Like a dolphin. Like, sort of like a chanooka. Like a sea doo. That was in the dolphin shape and you were encapsulated in it. The fact that I didn't drown in a lake in Oregon.
Bridger Weiniger
It would go underwater.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Just a little bit.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, my gosh.
Johnny Pemberton
And it was the most deeply unsafe thing.
Bridger Weiniger
While you were doing it, were you enjoying it or were you just being, like, focusing on. I don't want to die while doing this.
Johnny Pemberton
I loved it, but I used to always acknowledge I had a thing where I'd always imagine how I would die, Thinking that if you are prepared for dying in a certain way, the angel of death doesn't want to kill you that way. Because the angel of death wants to surprise you.
Bridger Weiniger
It's no fun. For the angel of death.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Because the angel of death wants to be like, if you can see it coming, it's like a mountain lion. Mountain lion never attacks you head on.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I didn't know that.
Johnny Pemberton
They pretty much never do because they're ambush predators. I think that death is the same way.
Bridger Weiniger
That makes perfect sense.
Johnny Pemberton
So I would constantly imagine how I would die in hopes that I wouldn't die that way. And the older I get, the more I'm like, I cannot believe the legal department signed off on any of this stuff.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Especially the more, you know about how TV gets made and how little they'll let you do anything.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. I was just so incredibly. I think I was also just really cautious. Like, I was looking out for myself all the time.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. You probably had to.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Especially on, like, kind of a reality show where they probably want someone to die on camera.
Johnny Pemberton
I mean, I don't think I want someone to die, but injury would have been cool.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. That would have been exciting for them, for sure.
Johnny Pemberton
I did vomit in a plane. Spectacularly in a stunt plane. Like, I mean, I sprayed vomit. And as much as they. As much as the pilot hated that, the producers were like, of course.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes, he did it. Yes, they would do that every episode if they Could.
Johnny Pemberton
Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
That's a show where you throw up on a different vehicle every day. That's the sequel ship.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, it was manuscript.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow. Yeah. That's a fun memory to think about.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. It was madness.
Bridger Weiniger
I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but I think you were in the, like, the first standup show I ever saw in la. You were on the lineup where was. Was in that weird little western thing on Gower. Gower Gulch, I think.
Johnny Pemberton
Okay. I think I know what you're talking about.
Bridger Weiniger
What's up? Tiger Lily maybe is what it's called.
Johnny Pemberton
Yep, that's it.
Bridger Weiniger
I think that was the first and I remember it being like the longest stand up show I have ever seen.
Johnny Pemberton
Probably like 15 comedians.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, it was truly like three and a half hours long.
Johnny Pemberton
I remember that shit.
Bridger Weiniger
But I remember you were like the one person and I was like, this person's very funny. And the rest of this is agony. Yes. That's a very early memory, too.
Johnny Pemberton
That's good.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, well, now we've gotten very off course, but I think you've gotten too right so far.
Johnny Pemberton
I have.
Bridger Weiniger
Finally. This is from Stephanie. Gift or a curse? A stuffed animal affixed to a semi truck.
Johnny Pemberton
That's a curse.
Bridger Weiniger
Why?
Johnny Pemberton
Because it's gonna get all dirty. It gets so dirty. It's one of those things where you can't tell what's going on. Is this like a. Is this a person, a hard person showing their soft side, or is this a person who's so hard, they're like, this is what I do with a stuffed animal. I don't like that.
Bridger Weiniger
Correct. You win the game. This, to me, any adult interacting with a stuffed animal or plush. It's immediately like the matted, gross fur. There's something dirty about it. There's something like something's wrong here. Especially those. They're out in the weather, they're filthy. It's just like, this is dangerous. There's an element of this person that I can't trust ever. And why did they go out of their way to attach this to the thing? What are they trying to prove?
Johnny Pemberton
Only excuse is if their child was lost.
Bridger Weiniger
This is their tribute.
Johnny Pemberton
That's all they have. But even then, you wouldn't have fixed it to the back of your truck.
Bridger Weiniger
That feels like the worst possible plan.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Because usually you find the stuffed animal. It's like, this is where Abigail was murdered and we found her. There's her stuffy.
Bridger Weiniger
And that happens all the time.
Johnny Pemberton
This is the classic case of Forensic Files.
Bridger Weiniger
Now if that happens, get the tattoo when Abigail McIntyre. McIntyre.
Johnny Pemberton
Why would I say McIntyre the first time anyone ever said McEntire instead of McIntyre?
Bridger Weiniger
McIntyre.
Johnny Pemberton
McIntyre. My brain just did some weird thing where it's like. Yeah, say it that way.
Bridger Weiniger
Where you can't even picture what the last name is.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, you fricking idiot, say it. Say it. McIntyre. Jesus, how did I do that?
Bridger Weiniger
That sounded like a G in it.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
McIntyre. McIntyre.
Johnny Pemberton
McIntyre.
Bridger Weiniger
Mcintyre.
Johnny Pemberton
Young Abigail McIntyre was lost for 40 days. Her parents found her stuffed animal.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, you won the game. Good for you. I don't know what to say. Will you help me answer a listener question?
Johnny Pemberton
I will.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, people are writing into I saidnogifts gmail.com or they're sending voice notes that have to common sense. Record them in a quiet place, don't make them too long, that sort of thing. Okay, this one is a written email. It says hello, Bridger and guest. I need some advice about something that happened over a decade ago. When my husband and I first got married, we lived with my in laws for a couple years while saving to buy our own place. For that first Christmas we bought them a SodaStream soda maker. SodaStream soda maker. It was really expensive for us at the time but my father in law was addicted to diet Coke so we thought he'd like it. Fast forward a year later and we were trying to decide what to get them for Christmas again. While searching for Christmas decorations in their garage, we saw the SodaStream maker with the gift receipt still attached to the top. We were still so poor and they hadn't used the gift so we did the unthinkable. We returned the SodaStream maker to buy them a new gift for that Christmas. A couple months after Christmas my mother in law brought up the maker and we actively helped her to look for it. To this day she brings it up about once a year wondering where it went. Has it been long enough that we tell her the truth or will we go to hell? Xo very guilty daughter in law 13 years after the fact. This is interesting.
Johnny Pemberton
That's guilty. That's very guilty daughter in law. I'm going to hell. We're all headed to I'm going to hell, baby. Damn.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow.
Johnny Pemberton
What the hell.
Bridger Weiniger
No one stands a chance.
Johnny Pemberton
Jeez.
Bridger Weiniger
The fact that she thought about it,
Johnny Pemberton
I can't imagine having enough space in your conscience for something like that to
Bridger Weiniger
just continually keep you up at night for 13 years for that.
Johnny Pemberton
No, I'm moving on man, that's a good. That must be a nice family to
Bridger Weiniger
me in that situation, I'm thinking, mother in law's going to hell. I'm fine.
Johnny Pemberton
That is not a person who is in the entertainment industry.
Bridger Weiniger
This person could not cut it in Los Angeles.
Johnny Pemberton
That person is too loved, way too loved to abuse themselves on a daily basis by working in the most rotten industry that's ever existed.
Bridger Weiniger
This person has thought about another person enough to email about them.
Johnny Pemberton
There are, like, professional hangmen who have less going on.
Bridger Weiniger
I totally support this.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
That thing was just being wasted in the garage. They were trying to send you a sign.
Johnny Pemberton
I want to know what's up with this mother in law. What is she thinking?
Bridger Weiniger
Why is she still thinking about this thing? She's so obsessed with this thing. That's probably $50. Go buy one, you psycho.
Johnny Pemberton
Have a good laugh about that over Christmas morning. You had some coffee. Maybe you've had an early toddy.
Bridger Weiniger
Early toddy. Everyone's so drunk.
Johnny Pemberton
They're not. This is not a drinking family. I feel like.
Bridger Weiniger
I feel like, I mean, me in this situation. If I feel that guilty, I'm going to buy a new one and putting it back and then being like, oh, let's go look one more time. Thirteen years after, oh, there it is. We were such fools.
Johnny Pemberton
I have zero guilt with that kind of stuff. Like, I would just be like, oh, my God, I can't even imagine the situation that would even remain unsaid. It would be instantaneous. It would be like the second I found it. But like, why the hell is this? You haven't used it. We bought this for you.
Bridger Weiniger
Don't you know what we're going through?
Johnny Pemberton
I don't understand people who have that thing with their family where they're so like. Like kid gloves. It's your family. You say it right away.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, you don't. You're not in my family.
Johnny Pemberton
Oh, I can't imagine that.
Bridger Weiniger
A lot of communication issues in the Weiniger family. Wow. A lot of, like, just keeping it to yourself as long as possible. You have a very open family, though.
Johnny Pemberton
I guess.
Bridger Weiniger
But it's a healthy thing to do.
Johnny Pemberton
It's good and bad, though. Like, the whole thing. When people are, oh, I don't want to. I don't know if I want to do this because my dad will not be happy. It's like, who gives a shit what they think?
Bridger Weiniger
That's healthy, I guess.
Johnny Pemberton
But it's also kind of like, well, they're so fucked up they won't go to therapy. So who gives a shit what they say? These are crazy people who are like, lying about all kinds of stuff, manipulating, like, I don't care what they think.
Bridger Weiniger
That's such a good way to look at things.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, but my family, they're so messed up. Like, my parents, like, they're. They're just so deeply. You know what I mean? They're so mired in all kinds of old bullshit that, like, how could you possibly give a shit what they think about anything that you're doing? They're in, like, a different century, you know? Like, they care about.
Bridger Weiniger
There's a different way of thinking.
Johnny Pemberton
They're like from a time when. When you go to a hotel, you'd leave the hotel because you can't be there for turndown. You have to go out for dinner. You know what I mean? All these, like, rigorous.
Bridger Weiniger
Wait, what is operating your life? What set of rules are you playing exactly?
Johnny Pemberton
It's like this ancient thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Wait, we don't do that anymore.
Johnny Pemberton
They're operating by pre ICE rules. Back when, like, you know, you weren't able to provide yourself your own drink. Cold drink. Ugh. I just can't understand that. Drives me crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. This person's. I mean, they should have let them know. And if not by now, I think it.
Johnny Pemberton
Steph, have a laugh also.
Bridger Weiniger
Or maybe just reverse the guilt at this point and say, didn't you know what we were going through? We scrimped and saved for you, and then you just kept that thing in the garage. You could have been having unlimited Diet Coke on us. And meanwhile at home, we're splitting a can.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah. Also, you can't manufacture Diet Coke.
Bridger Weiniger
No, I mean, that's the big thing that would be.
Johnny Pemberton
You can't make a fake.
Bridger Weiniger
The Soda Stream can't possibly put your phenylkunectronics in there.
Johnny Pemberton
Whatever that stuff's called. The stuff that's all killing us, that's a secret ingredient. Yeah. What is it called? Phenyl.
Bridger Weiniger
It's a word that. I think that on purpose, they kind of said, don't let anyone be able to pronounce this, otherwise they'll be able to talk about it.
Johnny Pemberton
It's definitely the thing causing.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, just probably everything. And I've just kind of handed over to. Oh, a lot of it. Unfortunately, not as much as. Because, you know, growing up Mormon didn't drink coffee. So once coffee came into the situation, that kind of made up a lot of my caffeine consumption. But I still drink a decent amount of Diet Coke. And I've kind of just said to myself, you know what? Whatever. Anthropocene Anthropocene. Yeah. It's the exact thing. It's just.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, I drink it when I'm having a rough time on set. You need caffeine when I go to the Diet Coke. Because it's the chems.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, you think it's the chems that are helping?
Johnny Pemberton
I think it's the chemicals in concert with the caffeine. Somehow that is like the thing that helps you pull through.
Bridger Weiniger
Interesting.
Johnny Pemberton
It's a different type of stimulation. I get.
Bridger Weiniger
It is a different. Certainly more than coffee, because I can't drink coffee at night, but I can drink Diet Coke at night.
Johnny Pemberton
Really? Diet Coke will fucking rip me open if.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, this guilty daughter in law, I think should just continue living in guilt until she goes to hell and just wastes her life.
Johnny Pemberton
I can't believe that the shame involved in. It's just nothing. The fact that that registers. What a nice person.
Bridger Weiniger
I know. What a sweetheart.
Johnny Pemberton
What a nice person. Gosh.
Bridger Weiniger
And meanwhile, 13 years of no Soda Stream for anybody.
Johnny Pemberton
13 years.
Bridger Weiniger
I feel like there were a lot of answers this whole time. And she waits for a podcast to come along to finally get her answer. She's got to get control of her family and herself. I don't know what to say, Steph. Well, I have another useful item from you. I'll just keep asking you on every couple of years until my life is fixed.
Johnny Pemberton
Great. Appreciate it.
Bridger Weiniger
And then we'll end the podcast.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I don't know what else I could do with myself. I've already got an eyelash on here. Oh, no, it's not an eyelash.
Johnny Pemberton
It's probably a dog hair.
Bridger Weiniger
No, it's part of the Fiskars brand.
Johnny Pemberton
Yeah, it's a Fiskar whisker.
Bridger Weiniger
That trademark Fisker whisker. Well, thank you for being here.
Johnny Pemberton
Thank you for having me. It was a wonderful time.
Bridger Weiniger
Listener.
Johnny Pemberton
I always enjoy.
Bridger Weiniger
Listener. The podcast is over. We're pulling the over lever. It's done. Move. Get doing something else. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?
Johnny Pemberton
Well, I invited you here. Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home. You got to come to me empty handed.
Sophia Bush
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Johnny Pemberton
Your presence is his presence enough. And I already had too much stuff so how do you dare disobey me?
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Avocados from Mexico. Always good.
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Bridger Weiniger
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Bridger Weiniger
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Date: March 26, 2026
Host: Bridger Winegar
Guest: Johnny Pemberton
Network: Exactly Right & iHeartPodcasts
Comedian Johnny Pemberton joins host Bridger Winegar for a return appearance on I Said No Gifts!, the podcast where guests are asked NOT to bring gifts—an instruction everyone flagrantly ignores. This episode is a breezy backyard chat between two friends, blending pop-culture takedowns, practical life advice, and tangents about everything from reality TV to landscaping. As always, the episode culminates in a gift reveal and a quirky game, with plenty of signature wit and playful banter.
“It is like a ballet of bullshit... He never stops talking like that. Because he’s so full of shit.” – Johnny [06:07]
“She’s one of the most talented actors in the last hundred years, in my opinion.” – Johnny [10:04]
“It’s a brick that doesn’t exist now... so I had to get a special masonry saw blade. Worked like a dream.” – Johnny [19:43]
“We have all the information that’s ever existed just in this little... semi-governmental entity.” – Johnny [20:39]
“Whatever you do with your dog, that’s training them.” – Johnny [27:07]
“It’s more for tree trimming... Not really a weapon-level saw.” – Johnny [34:06]
“Last time you brought me a hand truck.” – Bridger [33:54]
“We’re now in this era called the Anthropocene, which means that humans have so significantly impacted their environment... it’s different than the previous one.” – Johnny [47:30]
“So many things in our life are completely influenced by refrigeration.” – Johnny [51:25]
“You feel like this is a fucking dream... little pools that are green-blue.” – Johnny [59:39]
“Because it’s someone who just can’t take the time...” – Johnny [64:10]
“Anything repurposed is great.” – Johnny [65:44]
“Because it gets so dirty... is this a person showing their soft side, or so hard they do this to a stuffed animal?” – Johnny [73:20]
“That must be a nice family to even have that much space in your conscience.” – Johnny [76:32]
“It’s the Library of Babylon... we have all the information that’s ever existed just in this little [phone], controlled by a massive, semi-governmental entity.”
— Johnny Pemberton [20:39]
“She’s one of the most talented actors in the last hundred years.”
— Johnny Pemberton [10:04]
“We’re now in this era called the Anthropocene... humans have so significantly impacted their environment that scientists definitively describe the era as being different than the previous one.”
— Johnny Pemberton [47:30]
“Whatever you do with your dog, that’s training them... whatever habitual activity you do, that is training.”
— Johnny Pemberton [27:07]
“That must be a nice family to even have that much space in your conscience.”
— Johnny Pemberton [76:32]
“Who... Where did this start from? What evil person had this idea?”
— Johnny (about TLC) [44:45]
Conversational, quick-witted, and self-deprecating; prone to diversions and gentle ribbing. The episode blends pop-culture satire with genuine practical advice. Johnny and Bridger maintain an easy, playful chemistry—frequently poking fun at themselves and the bizarre specifics of modern life.
With plenty of laughs, practical life hacks, and tangents that lead to unexpected wisdom, this episode is quintessential I Said No Gifts!—less about the actual gift and more about the friendship, the banter, and the detours of daily life. If you ever wondered who needs a Danish folding saw, or how to emotionally process returning an unused SodaStream, this is the episode for you.