Johnny Pemberton Returns to Disobey Bridger Again

Summary

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Podcast Summary: I Said No Gifts! – “Johnny Pemberton Returns to Disobey Bridger Again”

Date: March 26, 2026
Host: Bridger Winegar
Guest: Johnny Pemberton
Network: Exactly Right & iHeartPodcasts

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Overview

Comedian Johnny Pemberton joins host Bridger Winegar for a return appearance on I Said No Gifts!, the podcast where guests are asked NOT to bring gifts—an instruction everyone flagrantly ignores. This episode is a breezy backyard chat between two friends, blending pop-culture takedowns, practical life advice, and tangents about everything from reality TV to landscaping. As always, the episode culminates in a gift reveal and a quirky game, with plenty of signature wit and playful banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Love Is Blind Ohio: Reality TV Ridicule

• [03:43 – 09:13]
  • Bridger confesses his recent obsession with Love Is Blind Ohio, lamenting how the show dominates current conversation.
  • Johnny shares his own (minimal) exposure, describing a particularly awkward dinner scene:

    “It is like a ballet of bullshit... He never stops talking like that. Because he’s so full of shit.” – Johnny [06:07]

  • Their take: The show’s participants are performatively shallow, with humorous digs at “soccer as a career” and reality-TV-speak.
  • Both marvel at how quickly culture moves on from these viral sensations.

Movie & TV Recommendations: Pacific Heights & Getting On

• [09:14 – 11:46]
  • Johnny watched “Pacific Heights” (1990), calling it a “piece of crap movie” but loving Laurie Metcalf’s cameo.

    “She’s one of the most talented actors in the last hundred years, in my opinion.” – Johnny [10:04]

  • Discussion shifts to HBO’s “Getting On”, a show they both agree is criminally underwatched and features Laurie Metcalf.
  • They laud the show’s blend of bleakness and humor, with special praise for Niecy Nash and Mo Rodriguez.

Home Repair & Hobbies: Brickwork, Gravel Lawns, and Learning on the Internet

• [17:16 – 22:15]
  • Johnny describes repaving his front walkway using “legacy bricks”:

    “It’s a brick that doesn’t exist now... so I had to get a special masonry saw blade. Worked like a dream.” – Johnny [19:43]

  • Practical lawn advice: Don’t bother with clover, just use dirt and bagged pebble for an easy, dog-friendly yard.
  • The “Library of Babylon” (YouTube) gets credit as the modern source for every DIY skill.

    “We have all the information that’s ever existed just in this little... semi-governmental entity.” – Johnny [20:39]

Dog Ownership and Training Anecdotes

• [22:15 – 28:44]
  • Dog talk: Sizes, personalities, and training. Johnny’s golden retriever is a “model” and “knows she looks good.”
  • Barking problems, crate training, and canine quirks: How inadvertent patterns (like giving dogs ice cubes) become lifetime rituals.

    “Whatever you do with your dog, that’s training them.” – Johnny [27:07]

  • The two swap stories about developing (or unwittingly sabotaging) routines with their pets.

Gift Reveal: The International Folding Saw

• [32:40 – 35:41]
  • Johnny again breaks the “no gifts” rule, bringing a Danish folding saw elegantly wrapped in a vintage Kelly green track jacket:

    “It’s more for tree trimming... Not really a weapon-level saw.” – Johnny [34:06]

  • The pair riff on the practicality of good tools, and Bridger thanks Johnny for “filling out my garage.”

    “Last time you brought me a hand truck.” – Bridger [33:54]

Breakfast Preferences & Overnight Oats Debate

• [38:17 – 42:14]
  • They exchange mundane and aspirational breakfast routines.
  • Johnny champions DIY, wholesome granola/yogurt concoctions, whereas Bridger is loyal to his grab-and-go protein bar.
  • Running joke: overnight oats are “just bland mush,” despite Instagram’s best efforts.

Societal Decline: TV Networks, Rats, and the Anthropocene

• [44:35 – 49:09]
  • Cultural observations: The fall of channels like TLC and The History Channel from informative to exploitative.
  • Rats in LA: Is it perception or reality?
  • Introduction to the Anthropocene:

    “We’re now in this era called the Anthropocene, which means that humans have so significantly impacted their environment... it’s different than the previous one.” – Johnny [47:30]

  • They debate invasive species and changing environmental baselines.

The History and Value of Ice

• [50:00 – 52:05]
  • Johnny is obsessed with a book simply titled “Ice,” reflecting on how refrigeration changed civilization.

    “So many things in our life are completely influenced by refrigeration.” – Johnny [51:25]

  • Parallels are drawn between technological leaps (fire, ice) and eras of human existence.

Tales from Antarctica and Random Far-Flung Adventures

• [52:43 – 57:57]
  • Johnny recounts Big Dead Place, a hilarious book about daily life in Antarctica, and how most residents are support workers, not scientists.
  • Bridger shares an Alaska vacation story involving relentless daylight and probable Airbnb surveillance (“Lusty Lady Linda”).

National Parks, “Real” Nature, and Simulacra

• [58:04 – 60:41]
  • Johnny is a Yosemite zealot and describes the “Ansel Adams Wilderness” as dreamlike:

    “You feel like this is a fucking dream... little pools that are green-blue.” – Johnny [59:39]

  • Bridger pushes back on dismissing real places as “artificial-looking”: “No, this is just beautiful earth.” [60:04]
  • The duo ponder how media images distort our sense of authentic beauty.

The Essential Game Segment: Gift or a Curse

• [61:48 – 74:55]
  • Johnny aces the signature game, rating oddities as a “gift” or “curse”:
    • Podcasters who talk through a burp: Curse

      “Because it’s someone who just can’t take the time...” – Johnny [64:10]

    • Retired ambulances as plumbing trucks: Gift

      “Anything repurposed is great.” – Johnny [65:44]

    • Stuffed animals affixed to semi trucks: Curse

      “Because it gets so dirty... is this a person showing their soft side, or so hard they do this to a stuffed animal?” – Johnny [73:20]

Listener Advice: The Case of the Returned SodaStream

• [75:16 – 82:14]
  • Listener reveals she and her husband secretly returned an unused SodaStream gifted to in-laws, and still feels guilty after 13 years.
  • Johnny is flabbergasted by such persistent guilt:

    “That must be a nice family to even have that much space in your conscience.” – Johnny [76:32]

  • Both advise: let it go, with Bridger noting that if you still feel bad, just buy a new SodaStream and “reverse the guilt.”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On DIY & Modern Instruction Access

“It’s the Library of Babylon... we have all the information that’s ever existed just in this little [phone], controlled by a massive, semi-governmental entity.”
— Johnny Pemberton [20:39]

On Laurie Metcalf

“She’s one of the most talented actors in the last hundred years.”
— Johnny Pemberton [10:04]

On Human Impact: The Anthropocene

“We’re now in this era called the Anthropocene... humans have so significantly impacted their environment that scientists definitively describe the era as being different than the previous one.”
— Johnny Pemberton [47:30]

On Dog Training

“Whatever you do with your dog, that’s training them... whatever habitual activity you do, that is training.”
— Johnny Pemberton [27:07]

On Family Guilt Over a SodaStream

“That must be a nice family to even have that much space in your conscience.”
— Johnny Pemberton [76:32]

On Reality TV & Social Decay

“Who... Where did this start from? What evil person had this idea?”
— Johnny (about TLC) [44:45]

---

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [03:43] – Bridger/Johnny meet, banter about Love is Blind, reality TV archetypes.
• [09:14] – Film/TV talk: Pacific Heights, Laurie Metcalf, Getting On.
• [17:16] – DIY brickwork, gravel lawns, YouTube for everything.
• [22:27] – Canine compulsions, automatic routines, training stories.
• [32:40] – The gift reveal: Folding saw, how to use, practical garden tools.
• [38:17] – Morning routines, overnight oats, Instagram food vs. reality bite.
• [44:35] – The “downfall” of TV networks, urban rats, environmental baselines.
• [47:30] – The Anthropocene explained.
• [50:00] – The history and civilizational impact of ice.
• [52:43] – Antarctica tales: Big Dead Place, daily life and bureaucracy.
• [58:04] – Yosemite, national parks, “fake” beauty vs. real.
• [61:48] – Gift or a Curse game: Everyday oddities judged.
• [75:16] – Listener advice: The case of the missing/returned SodaStream & family guilt.

---

Tone and Style

Conversational, quick-witted, and self-deprecating; prone to diversions and gentle ribbing. The episode blends pop-culture satire with genuine practical advice. Johnny and Bridger maintain an easy, playful chemistry—frequently poking fun at themselves and the bizarre specifics of modern life.

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Final Thoughts

With plenty of laughs, practical life hacks, and tangents that lead to unexpected wisdom, this episode is quintessential I Said No Gifts!—less about the actual gift and more about the friendship, the banter, and the detours of daily life. If you ever wondered who needs a Danish folding saw, or how to emotionally process returning an unused SodaStream, this is the episode for you.

Transcript

[Sophia Bush]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Sophia Bush]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Sophia Bush]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Public Investing Representative]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Public Investing Representative]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Public Investing Representative]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Public Investing Representative]

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[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Public Investing Representative]

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[Sophia Bush]

last, there's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still. Not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we are here to help you keep going further. Capella University what can't you do? Visit capella.edu to learn more.

[Public Investing Representative]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures.

[Sophia Bush]

When I invited you here,

[Johnny Pemberton]

I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is present enough. I already have too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. What's going on? Ellis is not here today. Ellis is in Spain. Ellis told me they were in Spain. They've lied to me before, so God knows where they really are. Probably laying low somewhere. I don't know, maybe they'll be back. Alice is not here. We're in the studio. Very little happening for me because the last like six days I finally started watching. I gave in to Love is Blind. Love is Blind Ohio. And so that's kind of cut me off from talking to other people. And by the time this episode releases, culture will have fully moved on to some other piece of art. So it's a show about a great group of guys and a great group of gals, all with their heads on straight. That's basically the show. Is there anything else that's going on? Do I have any business? Let's see. No, no. I mean that's truly. I mean I've shut down conversation after conversation the last three days with people who haven't watched Love is Blind and then I just have nothing left to say. Nothing's really gone bad yet today, so it's just a matter of time. And I should probably mention that the Patreon exists. Have I mentioned it lately? I probably have. I don't care. You need to be reminded. Patreon.com isaidnogifts bonus episodes, recipes, pet photos. I mean those are three things. And there's probably at least four things on the Patreon. So go there. And is there any actual business? I don't think so. Love is Blind Ohio. I love today's guest. He's back. It's Johnny Pemberton. Johnny, welcome back to I said no gifts.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Let me get your McDonald's order. Okay, let me soothe you with a McDonald's order, please. Ten piece buffalo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ten piece.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Ten piece buffalo, huh?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You watched it?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I watched that. My wife watches that show and she showed me. She was like, you have to see this. I think that's one of the biggest, like, pieces of burning trash I've ever seen. As far as like, oh, just that guy. They're both just the worst people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How much of that guy were you exposed to?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Just his conversation with the family at dinner.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The dinner is one of the weirdest things I've ever watched.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It is like a ballet of bullshit. The way he's like. I was even talking to my friend Josh last night about it. It's like, we have to do something that's like aping this, right? Cause the way he speaks is so just a three years ext. I was doing some finance, actually. Arizona. Yes. Was correct. Because California was something we've been interested in. Soccer has been a priority for me. And that's something that I feel that's a good thing because finance is always. Yes, I'm going back to that. But it wasn't a job per se. It's more of a career interested tie in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He never stops talking like that.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Because he's so full of shit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's a drifter.

[Johnny Pemberton]

He is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

God love him. You can't pin him down where he was living, what he was doing at any time. There's something going on.

[Johnny Pemberton]

There's something going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Imagine talking to a friend in that way, like, and trying to form a relationship.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You can't. It is just alarm bells going off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I was told last night someone sent me a video from one of his former co workers. He was living when he got cast on that show. He was living in Scottsdale.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And working for, like, a tech sales company and not doing a good job, apparently so. And then he keeps going back to soccer, which apparently was like, 14 years ago.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Does anyone ever had a job in soccer like any American ever had? What? Ted Lasso is the only person to ever have a job. Soccer as an American.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your job is soccer coach. Well, then that's volunteer work.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unless you're literally Ted Lasso.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You're cutting oranges, bro.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're cutting oranges, you're passing out juice boxes. It's ridiculous.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Soccer. Soccer as career.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The other thing that was a big red flag. Oh, you haven't seen all of it. But was the confidence in saying, well, we'll live in either Arizona or Florida. Those are the only two options.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Those are just places that they agreed that he didn't say check a box. Is that, you know that reality speak where it's like they get the thing wrong constantly. It's like, well, that really, that moved our box. And so I don't want to be barking up a ten foot pole here because when the ship rises, our waters are going to be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's so wild. And then the father in that situation is also just like kind of an evil crone. He looks at. To me, he looked. Did you ever see Witches with Anjelica Huston?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, I think you're so long ago. I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a point in the movie when the witches, who are all kind of beautiful women, remove their mask and wigs and become kind of these goblin characters. That's essential. And then his like the father's approval when the son said that he would have voted for Trump. I mean, everything about.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God, that part, I was like, what the. Who are these pieces of trash?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. That's the other thing about the show is you're watching kind of like 30 year olds who seem like they are like from the city, life in the city. They start revealing what they are and it's like, oh, interesting. Every one of you is a MAGA psycho. Yeah. But, you know, as I've said, this episode comes out in like four weeks and people will be watching Love is Blind 19.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, they will have moved on from that guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That guy. But he'll probably have committed some sort of something at that point.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Soccer crime. Crimes against soccer. Humanity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, so you watched one episode of that and you were just telling me you were watching some horrible movies over the weekend as well.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, I watched Pacific Heights with Melanie Griffith and Matthew Modine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's the general story of this movie? What's the thrill element of this?

[Johnny Pemberton]

A young couple, unmarried, buys a house in the Pacific Heights San Francisco they cannot afford, but it has spaces to rent out so they can make some money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Johnny Pemberton]

To pay off their mortgage. They cannot afford this house, but they fix it up and they get a bad tenant. And this bad tenant is Michael Keaton. And he is like abusing the laws. Of course, Matthew Modine can't be chill and he does some stuff that goes against tenant law. And Laurie Metcalf is in it a little bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love Laurie Metcalfe.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Favorite person alive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unbelievable actor.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I've seen her twice in Public. And she's one of the few people I'm like, I can't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know what I would do around her.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, she's scary.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's, like, an intimidating person, and she's, like, endlessly talented.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think she's one of the most talented actors in the last hundred years, in my opinion.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely. Does she see getting on?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Are you kidding me? That shit is. I mean, I grew up in Rochester, Minnesota, so all of my. It's where the Mayo Clinic is, Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Pretty much everyone I knew was a doctor. Sure. Like, I know that. I know that so well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. That whole, like, kind of probably kind of social scene.

[Johnny Pemberton]

The social scene. And just the type of person who is successful in medicine. Like, the character she plays is. I knew three of that woman.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. I'm so jealous.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've been shocked by how many people aren't aware of even, like, getting on.

[Johnny Pemberton]

No one has any idea of it at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's so good. It's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Mo Rodriguez, just stunning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's, like, very sweet and beautiful.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So sweet. Niecy Nash is so good in it. Everyone in the show is, like, playing against hype, and they're all so great. It's just kind of like. I mean. Yeah. It's the classic case of something that's so great that it just doesn't have enough. It's not, like, scandalous enough. It's not, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. It doesn't have some sort of thing that can be thrown to general people.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It doesn't have, like, the lusty vibe of, like, a White Lotus type thing. So there's no pr.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Anyone? I can imagine somebody, like, glimpsing at a trailer of that and being like, oh, that's like a bleak hospital. Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Because it is. It's bleak as shit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you watch it and it's like, very funny.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God. It's so funny because it's based on a British show, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I never saw the British version.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Did you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I really like. I think it's Vicki Pepperdine is Who created that.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, that's a great name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's really wonderful.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Vicki Pepperdine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Vicky Pepperdine. It's a name, isn't it? She and Julia Davis.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Julia Davis and Vicky Pepper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Two of the funniest people alive as well. I should watch the British one of them. But wait, so Laurie's in Pacific Heights.

[Johnny Pemberton]

She's in it just a little bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And Michael Keaton's just kind of A bad egg.

[Johnny Pemberton]

He probably shot five days on that. He's like a bad guy. He's like twiddling a razor blade like just the most. It is a piece of crap movie. It is a crap movie. They all know it. Like, it's one of those things where you wonder how they felt at the premiere kind of thing, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where they're all like, they know. They can't really say it to each other, but they want each other to know that they know it's bad.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They gotta fulfill the contract of promotion.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's his goal in the movie? Is it like a.

[Johnny Pemberton]

He's like a trust fund crazy guy. I mean, you gotta just see it. He's a trust fund guy whose family got him to go away. And he's got money, so he's scamming people doing like a rent scam thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Like, I'm rich. He has a Porsche. So people are, oh. He's like, my business is actually a private trust. How about I wire you the first six months? They're like, oh, great. Yes, great. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is kind of like Alex from Love is Blind. It's a similar type.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God. It definitely is. It's definitely that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's probably run a similar scheme.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's like a successful version of Alex from Love is Blind.

[Sophia Bush]

This is Sophia Bush from work in progress with Sophia Mushroom. Bring the good with avocados from Mexico. Upgrade your meals, your get togethers, even your everyday life. Give your moments a little glow up. Be the one everyone's glad showed up. Because avocados from Mexico spark the joy with every bite. And by the way, they're good for you too. So elevate your everyday. Bring the good flavor. So rich and craveable.

[Johnny Pemberton]

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[Sophia Bush]

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[Public Investing Representative]

show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] disclosures if you're looking

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[Bridger Weiniger]

When was the last time you had a roommate?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Does my spouse not count?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, pre spouse Pre spouse was probably

[Johnny Pemberton]

maybe 12, 13, maybe 14 years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Have you ever had a bad roommate situation?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I Actually, never have. No. I've only had really great roommates.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, that's really. I feel like. Well, I got out of the roommate game pretty quickly, but the idea of, like, having to live with somebody that I have a hard time living with someone I really love.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It is. Some people really do, I think. I've never lived alone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've never lived alone?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Except for some times. I've been on location, like, for like maybe six months.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. When you're living alone, how does that feel? Is it unsettling for you?

[Johnny Pemberton]

No. Yes and no. I kind of love it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But also it's that thing where I just like being around people a lot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure, Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You know, I really enjoy it. I like having a space, like having like a room or an office or place I can retreat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Quiet place.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. A place I can like, you know, be me. Place I can be me. But also I do, like. I like having the camaraderie or something like that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But I feel like you're somebody who also makes really good use of their time. I feel like you find hobbies and you throw yourself into them. So, I don't know. I feel like you have a very healthy way of being alive.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, what do they say? Perception is everything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it's all just a scam, I guess.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Sort of. I mean, I spent the entire day yesterday breaking my back, repaving the front walkway. And like, that's why.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, that's amazing to me.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. But it's just because it's like I needed to do that because I just finished. I just finished shooting my first comedy special.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right, right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And it was the most work I've ever done in my entire life, just about. Because it's not like a special special. I'm not like standing with a microphone. It's like, it's like a one man show. I have all these cues and sound cues and like music things and all this stuff. It's so utterly complicated. And I, you know, I built my own prison in that sense.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So it was just so much work coming off of that. I always had that thing where I almost get sick. I didn't this time, luckily, but I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm just mad with inactivity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And that sort of activity where it's a very clear directive. Once you get it started, you basically know what you're doing the entire time. There are no curve balls.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. You can't work on it enough. There's no amount that is. You'll never be like, oh, I did it all. Because there's even some jokes I fucked up and I didn't forgot. There's stuff I forgot to say. But it's fine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Because everything's great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm sure it's wonderful.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's outstanding. It's so good. It's so. I'm so happy with it. I can't believe it. But it's still one of those things where it's like the drop off, you know, the continental shelf kind of thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. That's why I'm in that place now where it's super deep. I'm like, what do I do?

[Bridger Weiniger]

But then you can pave. How does that even work? In front of your house you got little pavers.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I have bricks, but a bunch of them were broken.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And they're a weird, weird size because they're like legacy bricks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's a legacy brick?

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's a brick that doesn't exist now because now Home Depot and Lowe's, they have. They have two sizes. Everything, you know, everything is like. Everything's been winnowed down to the most generic version of the thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. There's no.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, if you want character, you have to go like a specialty store in Pasadena and talk to a guy who's like, surly. But if you. And so there's no. I'm not going to find the bricks. So I decided to cut some bricks I had that were longer. Oh, and I bought a chisel. Doesn't work. Even my neighbor who's an engineer tried it. Doesn't work. So I had to get a special masonry saw blade to cut them. Worked like a dream. Worked a fucking dream. But then I got to set them in by the masonry sand. Get the fucking polymetric sand to fill in the cracks, like grout, all this crap.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is also. How are you teaching yourself to do this? This is what. I'm always so curious with you. Where I'm like, where is the information coming from before you know how to do it? Because I could. Oh, you are watching.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's the Library of Babylon. I heard someone say that once. It's like basically this thing where we have all the information that's ever existed just in this little, you know, controlled by a massive, you know, semi governmental entity. But.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you can kind of learn to lay bricks, all kinds of things like that.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Can't be that hard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So are you done laying all the bricks now?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, I did, and it was only four bricks. I was Replacing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh four.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But I had to regrout it all. So I did that all in one day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I'm basically asking this because I'm like, I'm trying to gather information from my own yard.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because my whole lawn in the backyard is dead because of our new dog has peed all over it.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm replacing the lawn with clover. I think maybe just with St. Augustine Rock or something else.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's why I just did that too yesterday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you did.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So I have this new technique. So what you do. Because clover. We tried clover. Didn't fucking work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I don't know why. I think because the trees were just too much canopy. So it's shading it out too much. You take a bunch of. Just like they get the cheapest bags of topsoil, spread that out. Then you buy bags of pebble. Like little pebbles.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those tiny little pebbles, right?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. They come in like a bag of like 40, 50 pound bags. You put the dirt down and you spread that pebble out. And what it does, it creates sort of like a surface you can walk on when it's wet. And. And maybe something will grow there if it does. It does.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But it's also a nice surface that's not like dirty because you have enough pebble to be. I think that's great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, and I needed this because playing fetch with her in the backyard is also with muddy or grass. It's a total disaster every time.

[Johnny Pemberton]

All the way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So gravel. This is probably the wave of the future. All of these other ground cover things. I'm like, I guess if you're not walking on them or I don't know, I don't believe that they're actually going to grow in my yard. Maybe somebody else could pull it off.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Clover's good. But you got to fence off the area for like three.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't have that time.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Exactly. And the dog needs to do something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. That's a usable space that has to be used every single. Multiple times a day. So what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Exactly. We had a little. A little strip. A little poop and piss strip.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, my dog won't go in the neighborhood. We take her on. She's very polite in that way. And of course I take bags with me every time. But she refuses to use the neighborhood as a toilet. I don't know why. So that's causing me a decent amount of trouble.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But this art does both.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Does both. See, I Would like to get to the point where we're doing both. Kind of a hybrid situation. Because the walks right now are purely for exercise and smelling. I would like to throw in using the toilet. I don't know how to get her to that point.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Is she shy? Is she like a scared dog?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Apparently, when we send her on these pack walks once a week and she does it then, so I don't understand. But that's in Griffith park, so maybe she's feeling more in nature or whatever. Are you walking your dog out for long walks or is it just every day?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I do about 20 minute walk because she demands it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She demands it.

[Johnny Pemberton]

She won't leave me alone. She's a wonderful dog. We got her about. She's almost two years old. We got her about just under a year. We love her. She's super sweet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is she small or big dog?

[Johnny Pemberton]

She's 55 pounds.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, nice. Genius. Which to me is small. Yeah, right, right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Her medium size. Yeah, she's great. But she's also just so annoying because she's like the cutest thing in the world. She's like a model. She's honestly like a fucking model.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, what sort of dog is she?

[Johnny Pemberton]

She's a golden.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay. Gorgeous.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And she just is one of those dogs where she knows she sits pretty. She's like, knows. I don't know how she knows, but somehow this dog knows that, like, oh, she looks good and she's gonna get what she wants.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How old is she?

[Johnny Pemberton]

She's almost two years old.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay. Adorable. Yeah. Our dog is gorgeous as well. But she doesn't know how to sit. She doesn't know how to. She kind of. Every sitting position is very awkward looking. She doesn't quite know where her body is in space. And she's very. I mean, she stopped barking at strangers, which is nice.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But she's like almost 75 pounds. So when she starts barking or jumping at things, you feel bad.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. We had a dog like that before this and she was even bigger. And it's like, you know, you have a big dog, it's that thing where you just can't, you know, there's just a different thing between a big dog and a small dog. They can do the same activity, but one is acceptable. One's like, people are scared. She's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One's like, this is a monster. This person's irresponsible with their dog ownership. Did you train your own dog or did you bring somebody into the situation?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, I did both. My wife trained her Mostly. And we took her to a class really close by to, to our house. This lady was very, very good at training. She was like the star of the class too. She already had training.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right. She came in kind of as a sheep.

[Johnny Pemberton]

She came in as a little ringer. So we trained her, but she needs to get trained again. I think it's time for round two.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think the only thing we need to train our dog is to stop barking at 5:30am That's a struggle.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's too early.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a tough thing. I've had to, like, I've started putting in earplugs and then having to put on noise canceling headphones while I'm sleeping.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Does she sleep in the same room as you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, she's crate trained. She's only a year old, so I think once she gets a little older, she'll start sleeping in the same bed. But right now it's like we're still in a territory of waking up in her pee, you know, could be.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Gosh, that's rough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where's your dog sleeping?

[Johnny Pemberton]

She sleeps in the crate in our bedroom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But she does wake up at, you know, earlier than I want to get up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right, yeah, the crate. Because our dog's so big, the crate is huge. So it's like to put it in the bedroom would feel crazy.

[Johnny Pemberton]

We are crazy. We have no space.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you have no space. Okay. So that's what we would be dealing with. And I just refuse.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, I don't know, you're right. That's funny that it's loud enough to. Oh, she barks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's an extremely loud bark because she's a huge dog. So. And she's relentless and there's no need for it because, you know, she doesn't. She's also a large dog, so she doesn't really necessarily need to go to the bathroom at that time. She's eaten like probably five hours prior to this. There's no element of it where it's like she's in physical need, but she's just ready to get up and start doing things.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Have you tried not letting her out?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's what we've started doing where like we, you know, we just let her bark as long as possible until she stops. But that could be a lot. You feel terrible, first of all. And second of all, it's very annoying. So there's a kind of a two pronged approach by her to get out of the crate. But I think we're getting to a point that Were at least able to be like, we're just not gonna do this. Because then she knows, and then she's in control of the house. I don't know.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Saw some trainers say, whatever you do with your dog, that's training them. So it doesn't matter. Whatever you. Yeah, whatever habitual activity you do that is training.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Whether you think you're training them, whether you're actively training them, they are being trained. So whatever you do. Like, I really trained our dog to get a walk at, like, 10am Right. Not because I want to, because she asked me enough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you agreed enough.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And so she gets it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is me with giving the dog an ice cube. Every time I use the ice cube machine, they know she hears the noise. It's time for an ice cube.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It takes, like, three repetitions and they're in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I'm happy to give an ice cube.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Sometimes it's like one or two times, and then that's just what they are for the rest of their life.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I've seen these dogs that have to have their food microwaved. No, there's dogs that, like, get habituated to that, and they don't actually microwave the food. They just turn the microwave on for, like, five seconds and then take it out and act like the dog's satisfied.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How do you get caught in that trap?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's. It just happens accidentally, once or twice when the dog refuses to eat. Until that, you do it. Then when you do it, you're teaching them to expect it. Once you do it, like, five or ten times, it's over.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Our old dog Edie would. Every time we would go to get a drink of water, she would go to her dish and get water. She just learned to do that.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They're little computers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They are little computers. They're smarter than you think they are and also dumber than you think. Like, they're just programmable creatures. Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They're so impressionable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they're very sweet. Well, I think there's something else we should talk about. You were on the podcast, I think, a couple of years ago at this point.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's been a while. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Horrifying. And we had a wonderful time. You did bring a gift, which was unfortunate.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I know. I just can't help myself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hand truck. And today, again, that's how I was raised. And you're kind of programmed in a way. You brought a gift. Should we open it here on the podcast?

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[Bridger Weiniger]

It's beautifully wrapped.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yes, beautifully wrapped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I kind of knew immediately that's a gift for me. It's wrapped in this. Is this a track jacket?

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's a track jacket.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Beautiful. Kind of a Kelly green.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, yeah. I haven't even worn it yet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you haven't worn it yet?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I was gonna wear it today, but it's just so hot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to look at it before I see the gif. This is a great jacket.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's a great one. I picked it up at a vintage store. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very nice.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Of course. I didn't just buy it. I got it at a vintage store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is a nice vintage.

[Johnny Pemberton]

In my travels, during one of my many travels, I travel for work. You see, when I travel for work, I tend to shop a little bit at my off time. When I'm not filming on camera, I do a bit of shopping at local vintage stores. That's where I procured some things. Funky little boutiques. I love a funky little boutique staffed by a peculiar young man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where was this purchased?

[Johnny Pemberton]

In Winnipeg, Canada.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, so internationally.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Of course. Of course. I tend to be traveling internationally. As I do have a passport, I get to use it quite often.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, well, let me hand this back to you. Oh my God. You're really, like, filling out my garage in a way.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I got him. No one else is gonna.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Last time you brought me a hand truck.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I did. The hand truck is such a good hand truck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's an excellent hand truck. And now you've brought me, I actually have to look at this to even tell. Oh, it's a folding saw. This is really weapon level saw.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Well, it's more for tree trimming, I think. It's not really a weapon. It's not really like a blade, but

[Bridger Weiniger]

it feels like you could whip it open, you know, like a switchblade.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You could try, but fixers makes it pretty safe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's got a button on there as a guard, like a. A lock.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, should I open it?

[Johnny Pemberton]

You should just slide that backing up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, so it's not one of these like painful plastic. Let's open this thing.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think this is Danish, right? Fixers is Danish.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Seems Danish to me.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Some sort of Scandinavian thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow, look at that thing. I've never seen one. I've seen a lot of tools.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So you have to push the button down to open it, but be careful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay. I was expecting it to just split up.

[Johnny Pemberton]

No, it's not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Possibly be the.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's not an automatic knife. Those are actually illegal in California.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Look at that. That's gorgeous.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. So you can trim a tree easily. Trim a little branch, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, this is something I need all the time in my yard.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's what I figured.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've been using something that is not the correct tool for this. Yeah. Like, it's beyond a snipper. It's like a pretty powerful.

[Johnny Pemberton]

A lopper, maybe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lopper.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Is it a hand one or a cranker?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's one where you almost have to use two hands to press it together.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. If you have to use two hands, that's wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And so it's like when I'm clipping things, I don't even. It must be too cut. What would you even cut?

[Johnny Pemberton]

That'd be a smaller thing, like an inch or less.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And probably more. Less organic things. Probably like wire or.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, you shouldn't be using that for that. Certainly you need a lopper or like just a trimmer. But that'll work for like a big diameter, 2 or 3 inch diameter. I'll cut easily through that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How often are you trimming your trees?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, I'm trimming. If I'm not, I'm out there too much. It's like a rat, you know, I'm just always out there touching and moving and stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right. It's like kind of constant.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, I have a bad habit. It's almost like an OCD thing where if I'll be talking to my neighbor and I'll be pulling weeds as we're talking, which I think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think is Very healthy.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It is. But it's also, when I think about it, it's kind of disrespectful to be pulling weeds as you're talking to someone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. You're like not putting all of your energy into. But I feel like it just feels like something that grounds the conversation in a way where you're doing something with your hands. You have to be doing something with your hands when you're talking to people. Why not have it be a project?

[Johnny Pemberton]

If I can get a good phone call going, I'm unstoppable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, while you're out in the garden?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's a great idea. That's like my thing, because this is my big problem with talking on the phone is I'm just like, I'm wasting time right now. My body is worthless. I should start rolling calls while doing yard work.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It is the ultimate thing ever. I've been doing it for so long. But something about it is just that if you can get any kind of gardening on the phone call.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds lovely. Because I do like talking to my friends on the phone and I feel like this is a way to. Because I'm kind of running out of energy to see friends for dinner.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Isn't that weird how that, like, I feel like nowadays that would be. It's like a big deal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

We're gonna have dinner. Okay. Oh, gosh. Okay. We're gonna have. We're gonna meet. Even lunch is more casual, but even then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's just right in the middle of the day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Then it just ruins the day. Then the day is just like on both sides. It's just, what am I going to do then?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But a phone call while doing something practical feels. Last night I was having. I probably had a 45 minute call about Love is Blind and did nothing with my time except for talk about people I don't know marrying each other.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But that's kind of nice, I suppose. I mean, I guess it depends. You could say that what I'm doing is a little bit, I don't know, not disrespectful. But it's that thing where I'm like, I'm doing something else while doing that thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But it's not looking at your phone that to me is like the rage that will go through me if I'm trying to talk to somebody and they're still looking at their phone. That feeling is horrible. But I feel like if there's something that's repetitive that just feels like a thing that's just. They're sure? Do it.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, go for it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But yeah, I'm in my backyard kind of. I eat breakfast back there every day and then it just becomes a dream thing of where I just start doing things with the yard.

[Johnny Pemberton]

What are you having for breakfast?

[Bridger Weiniger]

So boring. Just a protein bar and some coffee.

[Johnny Pemberton]

A protein bar?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. What are you eating?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I'm. I mean, I'm moving now. Okay. I've been doing this is my breakfast for the past like maybe six months. I do like, like granola, a little bit of high fiber cereal, a couple like maybe four or five heaping tablespoons of no sugar, plain full fat yogurt, hopefully sheep. Add some dried cranberries in there. Add maybe like a little bit of a pinch of salt, some cinnamon. And then I'm probably good there, maybe a little bit of water because it has to water down. But I want to move into overnight oats. I want to start making my own overnight oats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've tried in the past and they were a disaster.

[Johnny Pemberton]

How was it a disaster?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't think I. I don't know if I put in the right ingredients or the right portions, but it just ended up tasting like very bland mush.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I got a surprise for you. Wait, you're telling me it tasted like bland mush?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was expecting spice fireworks out of oatmeal that was left in the fridge overnight.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It tastes like bland mush.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, but you see these pictures on Instagram and it's like that is that looks like the best thing that's ever been made. The berries, the peanut butter. What? And then I make it myself and

[Johnny Pemberton]

I'm like, that's because you're not adding a bunch of unnecessary sugar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? I guess that's. But I don't like sweet things.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You don't?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't really care. Especially in the morning. I would prefer it not to be too sweet.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I love sweets.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But if you were to make overnight oats, what would you put in yours?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be the best oats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I'm gonna be some almond milk probably maybe some oat milk. Just a little bit, not too much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I'm gonna ground grind some chia seeds. Because you can't have the whole chia seeds. I'm not looking to evacuate. I'm not looking to absorb the nutrients of the chia seeds.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Because if you just eat a full chia seed, it's just flying through you.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's just like a little like time traveler. It's a little escape pod for the seed. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do some, probably some granola, probably some berries of some kind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And definitely I'll top it off with some yogurt. Upon serving. Maybe some almond butter, maybe some peanut butter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. See, the problem with all of this is you're introducing a lot of choice. A lot of like having to decide. And me in the morning especially, I like, I cannot operate.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I feel like the opposite eliminates choice because I made it the night before.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. But then the night before, I'm panicking, really. And I'm wondering, will I actually want to eat this tomorrow?

[Johnny Pemberton]

If you don't want to eat it? Because I want to eat it so bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, in the moment, of course I want to eat it. But in the morning, I might wake up in a different mood.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, I need something. I'm just like. I know I won't enjoy it that much, but I feel like I think

[Johnny Pemberton]

we're just hitting the nail on the head here. I don't know how you're denying this. It sounds like the perfect thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe I just need to give it more of a shot. I tried this also with egg bites, you know, making, you know, like the

[Johnny Pemberton]

Starbucks style egg bite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I like to just have some egg in the morning, but I don't want to have to make the whole thing. But then those were disgusting.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Cuz you can't make. Eggs are hard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Eggs are extreme. If you fuck up an egg then

[Johnny Pemberton]

it's just revolting and you gotta do. You gotta do stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you absolutely have to do stuff.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I like a cold breakfast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I guess I. Unless somebody else has made it for me.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like I love like breakfast at a diner or something.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, but breakfast at a diner is too good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, exactly.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I can't have that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can you imagine making all of those elements as well as a diner could make them at home?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I'll be sick. If I have that kind of breakfast every day, I'll be sick.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it would take an hour and a half to prepare the breakfast.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I'll eat so much bacon and eggs and toast. Christ on a crutch. You ever heard that expression, Christ on a crutch?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where did that come from?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Some like Midwestern Catholic on a crutch?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What does that even mean?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's like, oh, oh God. Jesus Samaria and Joseph. Christ on a crutch. You can't have bacon every morning. Oh God, that's too much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is the crutch just because of the alliteration, maybe because.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, I think it's just the alliteration. It's just the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because we're not picturing. I mean, like, now we're just imagining this biblical figure on a crutch.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Jesus on a crutch. Poor Jesus.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Jesus on a jumper. Jesus on a Jesus.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Maria used to hear that a lot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I bet you have a lot of those in the Midwest.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, a little bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like that's probably the birthplace of a lot of that sort of

[Johnny Pemberton]

phrase, that in the south, too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. The south has got a lot of wild sections. Yeah. My boyfriend has, I think, has kind of conjured a thing, talk the chicken off a bone, which feels like something real, but I don't know that it's actually real.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Is that Southern?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It feels Southern, right?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God. He could talk the chicken off a bone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like I've mentioned that on this podcast before, and usually people will be like, you know, actually, or tell you immediately or diagnose you with some sort of illness, but no one had heard of this. But that feels like it's been around since the beginning of time.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Talk the chicken off a bone.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They could talk the chicken off a bone. Stay away from Jim. Stay away from him. You want to keep your pockets full. Don't talk to him. He can talk to chicken off a bone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Your current breakfast is kind of like a dream breakfast for me. Granola and yogurt.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Join me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe that's my thing is I just need to get some nice plain yogurt. I don't like a sweetened yogurt.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I cannot stand a sweetened yogurt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A sweetened slime, essentially. It's disgusting.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You remember that part of Toddlers and Tiaras from years ago? The girl being like, eh, I can smell the hairspray. I just conjured that in my head when I went, there's a little girl. They have a Sloan. This is from 15 years ago. If I read little girl. And she's got a super thick Southern accent, but there's some Internet meme that has it slowed down. And she's talking about hairspray. She's like, I can smell it right now. It would sound nasty. That's a sweetened yogurt for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those little girls were old souls.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They were old souls. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder where they are now.

[Johnny Pemberton]

God, I don't want to know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No one wants to know.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's one of those things where it's like, it's either bad or worse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no way that that like went. Ended up in medical school or dead or jail. That's the new TLC show.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Catching Dead or Jail.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They probably had something in that realm. Tlc. Anytime a TLC thing gets recommended to me, I just think, who. Where did this start from? What evil person had this idea?

[Johnny Pemberton]

God, we've fallen so far. History Channel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, the History Channel.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Tlc.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those things used to be kind of A and E. A and E? Oh my God, are you kidding?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Arts and Entertainment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bravo. Bravo used to be like the Opera Channel. Was it really? I think so.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Everything has just gone to the. I mean, not even the dogs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not even. Oh, give me a break. No, this is just gone.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Not even the rats. What is it? It's gone. Like the deep rats, those little pill bugs that eat stuff. It's gone to the roaches.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A restaurant in my neighborhood recently got shut down for rodents. And a place I had eaten at probably once every six weeks at least. So that was a terrible feeling. But rodents are taking over la.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Are there really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a rat problem?

[Johnny Pemberton]

No way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Rats everywhere. I don't know.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Is that true?

[Bridger Weiniger]

According to me.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Okay, I wasn't sure that's what I was asking because Perception, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I've seen a lot of rats in the last couple of years. Way more than I have in the last. You know, I've lived here for almost 16 years.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That makes sense though, because that's sort of like the. One of those things where that's an indicator species.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. That's tough to hear. That's right. What are the other indicators? I guess I can go the other direction too. Or an indicator species can be like a high end dog when those start showing up in your neighborhood. Gentrification sort of thing. So say.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think indicator species is an actual term that I used wrong.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. So what else could it mean then?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's indicator species. I'm going to say it wrong, but it has to do with something with population decline in terms of certain species show up when there's more of them. I don't fucking know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it kind of like. It feels like you've used it in a proper, ish way.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I have a good friend who's a biologist, so he probably said it and I was like, oh, yeah, I might use that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But they like probably in the correct sense it's more just to do with actual ecosystems and how they affect each other or something.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But we're hardcore in the Holocene now, right? No, sorry, the Anthropocene.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I'm not familiar.

[Johnny Pemberton]

The Anthropocene is a term that I'm pretty sure it's like. Like we're definitely in it now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Like instead of the. Whatever the previous era was, we're now on the Anthropocene, which means that we're in the era that is so significantly influenced by man that we are. It's a different thing completely. It's considered a different. You know how there's like the Holocene and there's like the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And there were like pleasing eras where like nature or animals also had some level of impact on what was going on.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Those are huge, massive, long eras where this is when this type of. The saber toothed tiger existed in this era.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So we're out of that era now, but now we're in this era called the Anthropocene, which means that humans have so significantly impacted their environment that it's caused us to scientists to definitively describe the era as being different than the previous one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder. That must have been in the last hundred years or so.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's pretty. Even more recently.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Even more recently.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And this is not like a debate thing. This is something where all scientists agree that this is very much the case.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't imagine what the next era could even possibly be.

[Johnny Pemberton]

We're gonna be in this for a while, probably, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Until we're our own undoing.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Until it's like just jellyfish. Right? Just jellyfish and maybe like God knows what else on the land.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anthropocene.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, the Anthropocene.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fast. I mean, terrifying.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's terrifying, but it's also kind of that thing where it's like, I take. What's it called when you take something you feel good about? I can't think of any words today. But you know, I feel like, well, we're all in this now. It's unchangeable.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

We're just in this. We're in a different era because like this, this idea where people talk about plants being invasive, you know, how this person, you know, sometimes it's me, but I've pulled back from that because everything. We're surrounded by invasive species. We're surrounded by non natives.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They just proliferate everywhere.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And so it's kind of like this thing now where like I was arguing with someone about jasmine. Someone was saying that the jasmine's in bloom now. Like, well, it's not actually. You're smelling something else. Unless you have some sort of weird microclimate, you're not smelling jasmine right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You're smelling citrus blossoms, which smell incredible. You're smelling a different thing that looks like Jasmine. It's not technically whatever the scientific name for Jasmine, which is this crazy hard to repeat name because Jasmine's non native.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Sure.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So that's this thing where we're all habituated to think something is normal because it's been around for, I don't know, 100 years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everyone who is currently alive's lifetime.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. They understand this as, oh, this is just how it is. When technically that is not a normal thing at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But we're just so habituated to it that we think it's like, oh, this is normal, when actually it's fully not at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And so you're saying this with the Anthropocene. You're saying, well, I'm just going to embrace it at this point.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, we're in it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Like there's nothing. There's no undoing it. So now how do we make the best of this situation?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Exactly. It's over kind of thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Like, did you see this thing about. This is so stupid, but I found out there's a book a woman wrote. I didn't have to read it, but it's about ice. Not about the goon squad, but literally about ice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Frozen water.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And it just blew my mind because you realize that all human life in the world pretty much in any type of even mildly first world setting has been radically changed since we have the ability to refrigerate things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You get ice. Yeah. I'm sure it's like completely different.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Like, I mean the things that. That allows like from like science to like luxury things.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's so different. Like the lifestyle we have has been everything for before ice, everywhere you went was different because we don't have any ice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Like it leveled the playing footfield and stuff.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Right. You know what I mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

The idea of like there being a period when like there was just. It was literally impossible to be. You were out in a desert area and there was just. How would you have ice?

[Johnny Pemberton]

What you got is what you got.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. These are the things you're dealing with. And if you want to preserve something, it's got to be in salt.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. And now that is everywhere.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That's probably one of the biggest things that like on the same level of fire.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's huge. It's so huge where I'm seeing this. I gotta read the book because.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fascinating.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, it's just called ice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But you know my question, it made me feel like an idiot. Because I'm thinking, oh, all this time I haven't realized that so many things in our life are just. They're completely and totally influenced by refrigeration. We would be living completely different lives.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. Absolutely.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, we wouldn't have any sort of medication.

[Johnny Pemberton]

There'd just be. Everything would be so much more localized. Like the way you do it over there. Oh, that's how they do it. Because, you know, they got hot. It's cold then, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ice. Oh, that's very interesting. I'm curious about that.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Tough time for that book title, but.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God, the worst.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

The worst.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is there anything left to say about this saw?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, check it out. If you push down that button and push it the other direction, like, you're not gonna fold it. So push here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You do it. Because I'm scared.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So watch this. You can do, like, an undercut.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's great.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Isn't that cool? Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a piece of engineering.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I know these Danish or maybe Swedes, who knows? They've been making this stuff, like, over 100 years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. least. Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You could probably cut some ice with this and sell it to people in the tropics.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you ever been to Antarctica?

[Johnny Pemberton]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. That feels like a place that you would travel.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I was obsessed with it for a long time because there's this great book called Big Dead Place by Nicholas Johnson. I communicated with him a couple times. He's not alive anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, sure.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But, I mean, this book is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my entire life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Big Dead Place.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Big Dead Place. It's all about Antarctica. Because there's this myth by Antarctica that's all scientists, Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure. Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Four out of five people there are, like, support workers. Like, dishwasher.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Truck driver. Just like, you know, labor person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That are kind of keeping it all up for these other people.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And Antarctica, for the most part, is run by Raytheon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Which is a defense contractor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So rpsc, Raytheon Polar Services.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of eerie.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It is. And it's so just wrought with bureaucracy in a way that is comical.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How many people do you think are currently living in Antarctica? It's gotta be an extremely small population.

[Johnny Pemberton]

During the winter, it's pretty small, but I think the summer, it booms significantly. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder what the social scene feels like.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's a lot of drinking.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And boredom.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And, like, a lot of people having sex with someone who they don't care what they look like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. This is very Love Island. Very. This feels like a reality.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it would be the reality show that people wouldn't want to watch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, imagine being like, miserable.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's full darkness for about five or six months.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Like fully dark.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you been to a place where the day, night cycle is like that? Like been in Alaska during the summer or anything? It's so crazy. I was in Alaska during the summer once, and what an unsettling feeling for it to be like 4 or like 2am still light. It's noon. Your body doesn't know what to do with it, so.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And for it to be completely dark, I don't know if I'd be able to handle it.

[Johnny Pemberton]

How long were you there for?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just like a week. And so it was like. My dad had to say it was a business trip. My brother and I went along and kind of we fished and then we like saw Fast and Furious in the movie theater.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's a cool. I love seeing a movie in a place, you know, I mean, it's a great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, it's a kind of a waste of a vacation or traveling, but it is an interesting feeling. It's like, because it's such a. Such a thing you associate with doing while at home.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's also like, you go to. I always go to McDonald's when I'm in a foreign country.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that will really give you a taste of the local cuisine.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. You just check out, like, how they doing it here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, right. Yeah. I like to be in a movie theater in a foreign place. I don't know. Especially in Alaska, that's not quite a movie town. But to see Fast and the Furious and then go like deep sea fishing and be throwing up on a boat.

[Johnny Pemberton]

What'd you catch?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I caught nothing because I was so seasick. It was me, my dad and brother, and then a grandmother and her granddaughter who was pregnant. So the granddaughter who was pregnant and I were just throwing up the whole time.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Damn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then my. My father and brother were fishing, so I didn't get to catch anything. But did they catch anything? Yeah, I think they did. Halibut, I think.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Did they get it smoked?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Sent home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We. I think we just. I think it was sent home. This is a long time ago. Frozen.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But we. Then we did some fishing that was not deep sea fishing and caught salmon, I think.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But we were like fishing and you could see bears. It was incredible. It's not really like a thing that I would ever Seek out, you know, it's not exactly my thing, but I. I mean, it was wonderful. Fascinating. We also lived in, like, an Airbnb. Well, it was a. What do we used to call those?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I don't know, like a rental.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A rental?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, a rented house.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was like a rented basement of a woman who we think may have been spying on us with a. Like a cyber camera.

[Johnny Pemberton]

She's got it. What else is she gonna do?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Truly, those endless nights. Gosh, those endless nights.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Why did you think that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because this was so long ago that my brother had to. He was, like, an early ebay person, and he was selling something. He was, like, 15 at the time, but was selling something on ebay and had to borrow her computer, I think, to use ebay. And then saw her Internet history, and there was, like, hidden shower cameras that she had been searching for.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Ooh, that's fucked. That's against the law.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe not at the time. Maybe. I don't know.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But yeah, that was. And we found out that her screen name was Lusty Lady Linda. Wow.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Linda's got a second life, huh?

[Bridger Weiniger]

She might have footage of me.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Damn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who knows? But that was a fun thing to discover while, like, being in somebody's rented basement. Weird vacation.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That sounds fun, though. That again. I feel like it's maybe, you know, we're not doing that anymore. Now everyone's like, you hit the code to check in, you see company running it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're not meeting the people who are spying on you.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, if you meet me, I'll let you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I'll let you do whatever you want with me. Take care. Do whatever you want. But if you're in some office for.

[Johnny Pemberton]

No, I'm sick of it all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like you're a. Do you fish?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I have, but I'm not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're not like, an outdoorsy person?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I'm a very outdoorsy person, but I'm not like a. I wouldn't say I'm like a big fisher.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. You're more like hiking, camping.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. I mean, I love fishing. I don't like eating a lot of fish.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But I mean, I just love the. I don't know. I like all that stuff. Anything outdoors. I'm into it on. On some level. I'm not, like, really good at being out there for a long time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's the longest you've been out for?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Excuse me? Probably, like, me, four nights off in the backcountry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, so, like, a big hike sort of situation.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Every summer, I go with some friends up to Yosemite area.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, beautiful.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Do about a week up there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I've been wanting to go up there for very long time.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, it's one of the most incredible places in the world.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Any image you see of it, it's like, this is just absolutely stunning.

[Johnny Pemberton]

There's a reason all these people come from different countries to see that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They don't have that shit. They do not have it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're garbage.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They. That come. You know, that's the thing about the national parks. It's one of those things where I'm kind of like a zealot for America in that sense, where it's kind of

[Bridger Weiniger]

like these jewels that America happens to have that are protected for now, and other countries, they don't. Well, I mean, other countries, I think, are just beautiful naturally, and they just get to continue being natural. I guess here you have to protect them. Yeah. If there's not the space.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. We have stuff that they just. We just don't. They don't have the same. It's just different.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the variety.

[Johnny Pemberton]

The variety. Everything about it is bigger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you have a favorite national park?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Definitely Yosemite, but it's one I've been to so many times. It's so big, and there's so many places you can go to that are like. If you go on Ansel Adams Wilderness, it's next to Yosemite. You go through there and you feel like this is a fucking dream or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You feel like you're in some sort of AI constructed set.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Because your pop is little rolling hills, but with all this granite boulders and little pools that are green blue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. This is something that it's just. For whatever reason my brain takes issue with, whenever somebody says, this looks like another planet, or this looks like AI, I think, no, this is just beautiful Earth. It's just this corny thing in my brain, but I'm just like. But it is just like, this is amazing. This isn't.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Right. That's because we see the simulacrum before we see the reality of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So it's like. It's like when people go to Disneyland, people go to Paris, and they're like, this looks like Disneyland. It's like it's the other way around.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The way that chieftains are so funny.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But it's just how it is because we've been. We don't see stuff. We see the fake before we see the real.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. It's so much easier to access artificial things.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it's the real.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You just kind of. It feels fake. Cause it's so pristine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. That's like growing up in Utah. That's a lot of that sort of thing where it's like, it feels like we're on Mars and it's like. Well, no, it's just. This is what Earth looks like.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But Utah, man, Utah is just stunning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. A lot of Utah is very beautiful. And then a lot of it is very beige.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But the beautiful parts are gorgeous. Well, I'm thrilled. Like, the practicality you're lending to my life is really impressive.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's my goal. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, you're also putting tree cutters out of business.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think they're still okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I guess. Like, there are parts of these trees that are too high up for me.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. I mean, I have one of those. And I just hired some tree cutters.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I got a little irresponsible and didn't trim the tree and it fully collapsed in the wind.

[Johnny Pemberton]

What?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was. I mean, it was kind of impressive to see just one.

[Johnny Pemberton]

What tree was it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not sure what sort of tree. And it was big enough that most of it's still alive, but one full trunk collapsed in my yard.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And was just blocking the entire yard. It was fun to look at for a minute.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Was it conifer or deciduous?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I have no idea.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Was it pine type tree?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, not pine type tree. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, I wish I had any idea. Not an oak, because the branches or the trunks are maybe this big around again. They go up in three ways.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Does it flower?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Still mostly alive, but I'll be able to do some light trimming, pruning. I think we should play a game.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Okay, I'm ready.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, we're going to play gift or curse, but I need a number between 1 and 10 from you.

[Johnny Pemberton]

5.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces, so right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Please continue to watch Fallout on Amazon Prime. Enjoy it. All episodes are available. And then prep yourself to go to the theater and see Mermaid when it comes out on April 8th in most Drafthouse cinemas across the country. Mermaid written directed by Tyler Cornack Starring Johnny Pemberton.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm so excited for Mermaid.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Me too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've posted a little bit about it, but it seems to already be very well received.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, we had a great time at south by last year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What is the movie about?

[Johnny Pemberton]

It is about a loser guy named Doug who's played by me and he finds A mermaid. But it's not like a beautiful mermaid. This is a creature.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Something that lives in the ocean.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yes, but it is a mermaid. It's an exotic. It's an exotic creature. So he falls in love with it, in a sense, and all this madness

[Bridger Weiniger]

ensues and people are going gaga over Fallout.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. I mean, that's such a big thing, and it's been around for so long that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. But it's, like, kind of crossed over in a way where it was like a big video game and now it's like a big everything.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. I guess it's just because they did such a great job with the show. You know, a lot of good casting. I think the best. Yeah, I'm biased, but I would say probably one of the best cast shows.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I really believe that. Now they just need to get Laurie Metcalf over there.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God. I would be. I'd have to prep myself significantly to be able to speak with her without.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would be falling at her feet. Right. Oh, she's the absolute best. Okay, this is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because I have correct answers. All right. These are all from Patreon listeners today. This first one is from Christina. Gift or a curse. Podcasters who routinely talk through a burp.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Ooh, that's a curse.

[Public Investing Representative]

Why?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Because it's someone who is. They just can't take the time to realize that they'll get back the time

[Bridger Weiniger]

this correct. I mean, correct. This is a total curse for me. Anytime somebody brings up the word podcast on this podcast, I think, are they talking about me? But I can't imagine I've done that before. Have I talked?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I don't think you have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What does that even look like?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I may have done it today.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What does that really, like, practically speaking? Are they like, here it is.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So the thing about these weapons is that people are just always finding them in the street. Streets.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And that's listener. If I've ever done that. I'm sorry. That feels. What I was imagining is, you know, like, as a kid being like, the gross kid being like, I'll do the ABCs as a burp.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, my God. I forgot that that was such a thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was a real thing for a while.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I wanted so badly to be that guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Seems dangerous to me. Okay, so this is more of a. Like, you're just hearing Them like process a bodily something while talking rather than just stepping back for a second. Well, I think that's a curse. And I'm sorry that if I've ever done it and if Christina's kind of passively, aggressively. Passive aggressively coming after me. Christina, I apologize. Christina.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Christina.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, you've gotten one right so far. Next. This is from Caroline or Carolyn. I don't know. Gift or a curse? Retired ambulances repurposed as plumbing work trucks.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I don't know that was even a thing. I'd say gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I just think anything repurposed is great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. I love especially a repurposed truck because trucks come in all sorts of shapes and fun sizes. A repurposed like postal truck or ice cream truck. Those aren't typical vehicles you're seeing other than their exact use. So then when it's a plumbing truck. Has anybody ever done a fire truck other than it seems like a lot of work? Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Like, what are you gonna do with that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What use will that be other than looking like a long rectangle?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Right. And the gas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The gas on those things.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Those are probably diesel. That's gonna be. That's a big bill.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is something I don't understand. When fire people go out to lunch with each other and take the fire truck.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They do. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you ever seen this? They'll pull up in front of like a sandwich place. It's like, wait, it doesn't seem like you're coming from or to a job, so they have it ready.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's when they get the discount.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But they've already got the costume on.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Just nothing. Every bit helps. If I were a fire guy, I'll be doing that. You know what I mean? Are there fire ladies?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There have to be.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, I feel like there have to be, but I just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have never. Well, I've never been rescued from a fire, first of all. I've never been.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Thank God,

[Bridger Weiniger]

knock on wood. I'll never. I haven't been dragged from a burning home or anything, but I've never interacted with a fire woman.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Right. I haven't either. I'm just thinking, you know, I'm sure there are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I will point to progressive times. The living scenario, I guess. I don't know.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They're shown together.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I don't want to discount that. I'm sure there are, but it's just. I think it is a very male dominated.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's very dominated, But I wonder. I wonder now. It's got me wondering.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Also sometimes there's that Thing maybe where you know how certain industries. It's not like you can try to make that happen, but it just. Nobody wants to do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. The guys down at the station just refuse.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Well, not even that. It's like they're just. We can't find any women who want to do this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right. It's just like. Well, the doors open.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But they're driving those trucks out to the sandwich place. And the gas, I mean, they're blowing through gas. They must be diesel.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's gotta be diesel, right? Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not that that matters, but maybe slightly cheaper. I've never seen one filling up. Maybe they have it at the station.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They gotta have it at the station.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting. There are a lot of things about how a fire station works that I'm not familiar with.

[Johnny Pemberton]

This has become a very much a nine year old boy on the spectrum conversation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Johnny Pemberton]

We need him to correct us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you ever. You had that show where you drove big vehicles around.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh my God, forever ago? Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you ever drive a fire truck?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You did? Oh my God, I'm so jealous.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And Salt Lake too. Really? Yeah, it was an airport fire truck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. How far did you drive it?

[Johnny Pemberton]

God, not very far. Just kind of around the, like the area where they have a simulated fire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So. Okay. Was it hard to drive?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I don't remember.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How did that show even come into being?

[Johnny Pemberton]

It came into being. This was back when MTV was doing stuff like that and they had someone

[Bridger Weiniger]

create it and they just needed someone to host.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, they auditioned me. They flew me out to Jersey to audition in like the middle of winter against other people. Other people. They were auditioning. Right. Test, like a camera test type thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And did you have to drive for the test?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, I drove like a semi in a lot with like some. Some dude, I think it was Portuguese. God, I can barely remember this, but I definitely had like a test.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow, that's fascinating.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And that was enough to make the pilot. He shot the pilot and it got picked up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And then I had a different guy come on as showrunner for the show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It was a whole thing. It was like a lot of work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean that's like. I mean that. The logistics of that seems very complicated to me. Putting someone who doesn't drive these things that usually require a license to drive them. Was there any not to just suddenly dive into you driving the car show, but was there any car that was particularly scary to drive?

[Johnny Pemberton]

All of them. They were all, I think back and I cannot believe I didn't come close. To dying. Of course. I was riding in some motorcycle that was like, it was maybe 20 times the size of a regular motorcycle. For what purpose? Because it was some guy, some wacko dude. Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was like novelty, cycle, novelty.

[Johnny Pemberton]

This thing was not rated by any authority. And we drove over stuff. The fact that it didn't tip over, I would have broken all of my ribs. 100% would have. I was in, like, a metal cage. Would have broken all my ribs. We drove these. These dolphins that were barely, barely tested at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dolphins.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Like a dolphin. Like, sort of like a chanooka. Like a sea doo. That was in the dolphin shape and you were encapsulated in it. The fact that I didn't drown in a lake in Oregon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It would go underwater.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Just a little bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my gosh.

[Johnny Pemberton]

And it was the most deeply unsafe thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

While you were doing it, were you enjoying it or were you just being, like, focusing on. I don't want to die while doing this.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I loved it, but I used to always acknowledge I had a thing where I'd always imagine how I would die, Thinking that if you are prepared for dying in a certain way, the angel of death doesn't want to kill you that way. Because the angel of death wants to surprise you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's no fun. For the angel of death.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Because the angel of death wants to be like, if you can see it coming, it's like a mountain lion. Mountain lion never attacks you head on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They pretty much never do because they're ambush predators. I think that death is the same way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That makes perfect sense.

[Johnny Pemberton]

So I would constantly imagine how I would die in hopes that I wouldn't die that way. And the older I get, the more I'm like, I cannot believe the legal department signed off on any of this stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Especially the more, you know about how TV gets made and how little they'll let you do anything.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. I was just so incredibly. I think I was also just really cautious. Like, I was looking out for myself all the time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. You probably had to.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Especially on, like, kind of a reality show where they probably want someone to die on camera.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I mean, I don't think I want someone to die, but injury would have been cool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That would have been exciting for them, for sure.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I did vomit in a plane. Spectacularly in a stunt plane. Like, I mean, I sprayed vomit. And as much as they. As much as the pilot hated that, the producers were like, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, he did it. Yes, they would do that every episode if they Could.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a show where you throw up on a different vehicle every day. That's the sequel ship.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, it was manuscript.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Yeah. That's a fun memory to think about.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. It was madness.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but I think you were in the, like, the first standup show I ever saw in la. You were on the lineup where was. Was in that weird little western thing on Gower. Gower Gulch, I think.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Okay. I think I know what you're talking about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's up? Tiger Lily maybe is what it's called.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yep, that's it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that was the first and I remember it being like the longest stand up show I have ever seen.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Probably like 15 comedians.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it was truly like three and a half hours long.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I remember that shit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I remember you were like the one person and I was like, this person's very funny. And the rest of this is agony. Yes. That's a very early memory, too.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, well, now we've gotten very off course, but I think you've gotten too right so far.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Finally. This is from Stephanie. Gift or a curse? A stuffed animal affixed to a semi truck.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Because it's gonna get all dirty. It gets so dirty. It's one of those things where you can't tell what's going on. Is this like a. Is this a person, a hard person showing their soft side, or is this a person who's so hard, they're like, this is what I do with a stuffed animal. I don't like that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. You win the game. This, to me, any adult interacting with a stuffed animal or plush. It's immediately like the matted, gross fur. There's something dirty about it. There's something like something's wrong here. Especially those. They're out in the weather, they're filthy. It's just like, this is dangerous. There's an element of this person that I can't trust ever. And why did they go out of their way to attach this to the thing? What are they trying to prove?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Only excuse is if their child was lost.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is their tribute.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's all they have. But even then, you wouldn't have fixed it to the back of your truck.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That feels like the worst possible plan.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Because usually you find the stuffed animal. It's like, this is where Abigail was murdered and we found her. There's her stuffy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And that happens all the time.

[Johnny Pemberton]

This is the classic case of Forensic Files.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now if that happens, get the tattoo when Abigail McIntyre. McIntyre.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Why would I say McIntyre the first time anyone ever said McEntire instead of McIntyre?

[Bridger Weiniger]

McIntyre.

[Johnny Pemberton]

McIntyre. My brain just did some weird thing where it's like. Yeah, say it that way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where you can't even picture what the last name is.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, you fricking idiot, say it. Say it. McIntyre. Jesus, how did I do that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounded like a G in it.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

McIntyre. McIntyre.

[Johnny Pemberton]

McIntyre.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mcintyre.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Young Abigail McIntyre was lost for 40 days. Her parents found her stuffed animal.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you won the game. Good for you. I don't know what to say. Will you help me answer a listener question?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I will.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, people are writing into I saidnogifts gmail.com or they're sending voice notes that have to common sense. Record them in a quiet place, don't make them too long, that sort of thing. Okay, this one is a written email. It says hello, Bridger and guest. I need some advice about something that happened over a decade ago. When my husband and I first got married, we lived with my in laws for a couple years while saving to buy our own place. For that first Christmas we bought them a SodaStream soda maker. SodaStream soda maker. It was really expensive for us at the time but my father in law was addicted to diet Coke so we thought he'd like it. Fast forward a year later and we were trying to decide what to get them for Christmas again. While searching for Christmas decorations in their garage, we saw the SodaStream maker with the gift receipt still attached to the top. We were still so poor and they hadn't used the gift so we did the unthinkable. We returned the SodaStream maker to buy them a new gift for that Christmas. A couple months after Christmas my mother in law brought up the maker and we actively helped her to look for it. To this day she brings it up about once a year wondering where it went. Has it been long enough that we tell her the truth or will we go to hell? Xo very guilty daughter in law 13 years after the fact. This is interesting.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That's guilty. That's very guilty daughter in law. I'm going to hell. We're all headed to I'm going to hell, baby. Damn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Johnny Pemberton]

What the hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No one stands a chance.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Jeez.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The fact that she thought about it,

[Johnny Pemberton]

I can't imagine having enough space in your conscience for something like that to

[Bridger Weiniger]

just continually keep you up at night for 13 years for that.

[Johnny Pemberton]

No, I'm moving on man, that's a good. That must be a nice family to

[Bridger Weiniger]

me in that situation, I'm thinking, mother in law's going to hell. I'm fine.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That is not a person who is in the entertainment industry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This person could not cut it in Los Angeles.

[Johnny Pemberton]

That person is too loved, way too loved to abuse themselves on a daily basis by working in the most rotten industry that's ever existed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This person has thought about another person enough to email about them.

[Johnny Pemberton]

There are, like, professional hangmen who have less going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I totally support this.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That thing was just being wasted in the garage. They were trying to send you a sign.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I want to know what's up with this mother in law. What is she thinking?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why is she still thinking about this thing? She's so obsessed with this thing. That's probably $50. Go buy one, you psycho.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Have a good laugh about that over Christmas morning. You had some coffee. Maybe you've had an early toddy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Early toddy. Everyone's so drunk.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They're not. This is not a drinking family. I feel like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like, I mean, me in this situation. If I feel that guilty, I'm going to buy a new one and putting it back and then being like, oh, let's go look one more time. Thirteen years after, oh, there it is. We were such fools.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I have zero guilt with that kind of stuff. Like, I would just be like, oh, my God, I can't even imagine the situation that would even remain unsaid. It would be instantaneous. It would be like the second I found it. But like, why the hell is this? You haven't used it. We bought this for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't you know what we're going through?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I don't understand people who have that thing with their family where they're so like. Like kid gloves. It's your family. You say it right away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you don't. You're not in my family.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Oh, I can't imagine that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of communication issues in the Weiniger family. Wow. A lot of, like, just keeping it to yourself as long as possible. You have a very open family, though.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I guess.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it's a healthy thing to do.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's good and bad, though. Like, the whole thing. When people are, oh, I don't want to. I don't know if I want to do this because my dad will not be happy. It's like, who gives a shit what they think?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's healthy, I guess.

[Johnny Pemberton]

But it's also kind of like, well, they're so fucked up they won't go to therapy. So who gives a shit what they say? These are crazy people who are like, lying about all kinds of stuff, manipulating, like, I don't care what they think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's such a good way to look at things.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, but my family, they're so messed up. Like, my parents, like, they're. They're just so deeply. You know what I mean? They're so mired in all kinds of old bullshit that, like, how could you possibly give a shit what they think about anything that you're doing? They're in, like, a different century, you know? Like, they care about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a different way of thinking.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They're like from a time when. When you go to a hotel, you'd leave the hotel because you can't be there for turndown. You have to go out for dinner. You know what I mean? All these, like, rigorous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, what is operating your life? What set of rules are you playing exactly?

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's like this ancient thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, we don't do that anymore.

[Johnny Pemberton]

They're operating by pre ICE rules. Back when, like, you know, you weren't able to provide yourself your own drink. Cold drink. Ugh. I just can't understand that. Drives me crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. This person's. I mean, they should have let them know. And if not by now, I think it.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Steph, have a laugh also.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or maybe just reverse the guilt at this point and say, didn't you know what we were going through? We scrimped and saved for you, and then you just kept that thing in the garage. You could have been having unlimited Diet Coke on us. And meanwhile at home, we're splitting a can.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah. Also, you can't manufacture Diet Coke.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I mean, that's the big thing that would be.

[Johnny Pemberton]

You can't make a fake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Soda Stream can't possibly put your phenylkunectronics in there.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Whatever that stuff's called. The stuff that's all killing us, that's a secret ingredient. Yeah. What is it called? Phenyl.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a word that. I think that on purpose, they kind of said, don't let anyone be able to pronounce this, otherwise they'll be able to talk about it.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's definitely the thing causing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, just probably everything. And I've just kind of handed over to. Oh, a lot of it. Unfortunately, not as much as. Because, you know, growing up Mormon didn't drink coffee. So once coffee came into the situation, that kind of made up a lot of my caffeine consumption. But I still drink a decent amount of Diet Coke. And I've kind of just said to myself, you know what? Whatever. Anthropocene Anthropocene. Yeah. It's the exact thing. It's just.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, I drink it when I'm having a rough time on set. You need caffeine when I go to the Diet Coke. Because it's the chems.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you think it's the chems that are helping?

[Johnny Pemberton]

I think it's the chemicals in concert with the caffeine. Somehow that is like the thing that helps you pull through.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's a different type of stimulation. I get.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is a different. Certainly more than coffee, because I can't drink coffee at night, but I can drink Diet Coke at night.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Really? Diet Coke will fucking rip me open if.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, this guilty daughter in law, I think should just continue living in guilt until she goes to hell and just wastes her life.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I can't believe that the shame involved in. It's just nothing. The fact that that registers. What a nice person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. What a sweetheart.

[Johnny Pemberton]

What a nice person. Gosh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And meanwhile, 13 years of no Soda Stream for anybody.

[Johnny Pemberton]

13 years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel like there were a lot of answers this whole time. And she waits for a podcast to come along to finally get her answer. She's got to get control of her family and herself. I don't know what to say, Steph. Well, I have another useful item from you. I'll just keep asking you on every couple of years until my life is fixed.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Great. Appreciate it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then we'll end the podcast.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know what else I could do with myself. I've already got an eyelash on here. Oh, no, it's not an eyelash.

[Johnny Pemberton]

It's probably a dog hair.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's part of the Fiskars brand.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Yeah, it's a Fiskar whisker.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That trademark Fisker whisker. Well, thank you for being here.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Thank you for having me. It was a wonderful time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Listener.

[Johnny Pemberton]

I always enjoy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Listener. The podcast is over. We're pulling the over lever. It's done. Move. Get doing something else. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Johnny Pemberton]

Well, I invited you here. Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home. You got to come to me empty handed.

[Sophia Bush]

I said no guest.

[Johnny Pemberton]

Your presence is his presence enough. And I already had too much stuff so how do you dare disobey me?

[Sophia Bush]

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Avocados from Mexico. Always good.

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Public Investing Representative]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Public Investing Representative]

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[Sophia Bush]

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