Josh Sharp Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Josh Sharp Disobeys Bridger" – I Said No Gifts!

Introduction and Host’s Recent Activities

In this episode of I Said No Gifts!, hosted by Bridger Weiniger, longtime fan and comedic guest Josh Sharp joins Bridger for an engaging and humorous conversation. Bridger kicks off the episode by recounting his recent solo performance in Chicago, humorously describing it as a one-man show where "the audience was begging to leave" (02:12). He humorously laments his mix-up of Heidi Klum's name, initially calling her "Hannah" on stage, leading to a light-hearted correction by Josh Sharp (03:05).

Discussion of Mission Impossible Movie Stunts

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the latest Mission Impossible installment. Bridger and Josh dive deep into the film's stunts, particularly focusing on the underwater sequences where Tom Cruise's character dons a full underwater suit. Bridger humorously questions the necessity of such extreme stunts, asking, “Why would he need to be that far down for a movie?" (05:06). Josh Sharp responds with playful skepticism, critiquing the practicality and safety of Cruise's stunts, noting, “Cause he's Tom. Why does he need to do any of this for a movie?" (05:10).

They further dissect the infamous motorcycle cliff dive, with Bridger pondering, “Because he cares” (05:18), to which Josh quips, “Why does he need to ride a motorcycle off a cliff?” (05:19). The conversation evolves into a humorous analysis of Tom Cruise’s dedication to performing his own stunts, with Josh expressing envy over Cruise’s commitment: “I would have to offer it up in prayer. You'd have to offer it up in prayer” (10:24).

Josh Sharp’s Off Broadway Show Promotion

Transitioning from movie critiques, Josh Sharp takes the opportunity to promote his off-Broadway show, Josh Sharp Tada. He describes it as a "one man off Broadway show starting at the Greenwich House Theater" (06:10), blending comedy and personal anecdotes. Bridger encourages him to share more about the show, leading to a playful exchange where Josh candidly discusses his creative process and the challenges of live performances, stating, “It's my birthright to get to haunt that space all summer” (66:57).

Conversation about Clip-On Earrings and Fashion

Bridger and Josh delve into a quirky discussion about clip-on earrings, reflecting on fashion choices and personal style. Bridger shares his love for Clark Street Diner and how it inspires his fashion sense, while Josh humorously critiques the practicality of clip-ons versus pierced earrings. Josh remarks, “They inevitably look like your grandma removed them to answer the phone in the 80s” (33:10), sparking a light-hearted debate on the aesthetics and functionality of different earring styles.

‘Gift or a Curse’ Game Segment

One of the highlights of the episode is the interactive game segment titled "Gift or a Curse." Bridger presents listeners' suggestions, and Josh Sharp playfully debates each item's merits. For instance, when asked if "Overnight oats" are a gift or a curse, Josh confidently declares them a curse, humorously explaining his disdain for preparing oats overnight: “It's a cold, wet thing that we've already done. Hot and cozy and lovely” (71:39). Bridger agrees, reinforcing the comedic banter between the hosts.

Another memorable moment occurs when Bridger asks about brushing teeth in the work bathroom after lunch. Josh categorizes it as a gift, praising the fresh breath it ensures while playfully mocking the social implications: “It's a gift for me. What a better way” (74:57). Their chemistry shines through as they navigate each game question with wit and humor.

Final Promotions and Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Bridger and Josh continue to promote Josh’s upcoming show, emphasizing its immersive and comedic nature. Bridger mentions, “You really only needed two guys” (25:43), summarizing Josh's ability to keep the audience engaged with minimal yet impactful characters.

They conclude with playful exchanges about their on-stage personas and the humorous mishaps that come with live performances. Bridger attributes the episode’s success to his team, acknowledging senior producer Anneliese Nelson and others who contribute behind the scenes. The hosts bid farewell with a mix of humor and camaraderie, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating future episodes.

Notable Quotes:

• Bridger Weiniger: “I think this is the first recording since we were back from Chicago. Or I'm... I had a wonderful time. The audience was begging to leave.” (02:12)

• Josh Sharp: “Why does he need to ride a motorcycle off a cliff?” (05:19)

• Bridger Weiniger: “You have to come to me empty handed. I said no gifts.” (01:57)

• Josh Sharp: “This is how comedy works. It's improvisational and spontaneous.” (30:00)

• Bridger Weiniger: “We've been so cogent.” (34:39)

• Josh Sharp: “I love water. Water rules.” (15:48)

• Bridger Weiniger: “How many clumps were there? There is actually so many reads on that.” (60:43)

• Josh Sharp: “I hope to break out of my niche cabal of queer comedy and off Broadway theater” (55:11)

Conclusion

This episode of I Said No Gifts! offers a blend of sharp wit, comedic insights, and heartfelt promotions. Bridger Weiniger and Josh Sharp's dynamic interaction provides listeners with both entertainment and a glimpse into the creative endeavors of their guest. From dissecting blockbuster films to engaging in humorous games, the episode encapsulates the essence of the podcast’s comedic interview style, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Josh Sharp]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Josh Sharp]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Josh Sharp]

Those who qualify hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When you're a guest in my home.

[Josh Sharp]

You got to come to me empty handed. I said no gifts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your presence is present enough and I.

[Josh Sharp]

Already had too much stuff, so how.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you dare disobey me? Welcome to I said no Gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. What's going on? We're bad. I think this is the first recording. This is the first recording since we were back from Chicago. Or I'm. I don't know. I say we're. It was simply me in Chicago. I had no help, zero assistance. It was just me kind of stumbling through the city putting on a show. Had a wonderful time. The audience was begging to leave. The theater was nearly empty before the show was even over. Let's see what happened. Oh, I did wish a Hannah happy birthday on stage. Later found out her name was Heidi, but it's now too late to wish.

[Josh Sharp]

Sorry to interrupt, but Klum, Heidi Klum.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Was there demanding a happy birthday.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, Hannah Klum was her birth name. Heidi Klum's her Hollywood name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a little flashier, a little bit spicy.

[Josh Sharp]

You were saying? I didn't mean to interrupt. This isn't about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Our guest is just trying to burst into the show and we'll get to him in a moment. And we should get to him quickly because I'm already rambling, but. And there's very little going on. What's going on? The Patreon's still happening. I'm now, as you know, kind of doing bonus episodes about the secret lives of Mormon wives. That's become almost my entire existence just thinking about those gals. So come on over. And then I just. I saw Mission Impossible last night. Followed every moment of it. It was perfectly clear what was going on. Tom Cruise has completely transformed into kind of a tough as nails aunt. Looks like your mom's sister who's had a real year. But I had. I actually. I didn't have that good of a time. Maybe I had 10 minutes of a good time. I kept trying to fall asleep and that didn't take. So take from whatever that. What you will. Let's get into the show. I love today's guest. It's Josh Sharp. Josh, you're already on the show. Welcome to I said no gifts.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm jealous. You saw that Impossible Mission.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You haven't seen it.

[Josh Sharp]

I love those films. I really do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was the last one?

[Josh Sharp]

You saw the last one. And I've seen everyone. And I go in theater and I have a big thing of popcorn just as Tom intended, and I pace it out over the course of the whole film. I don't eat it before we know you hate it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's impressive.

[Josh Sharp]

I love it. I feel he's the most populous movie star we have. Not Justin being popular. I like that. He's like, I do my own. I will live or die for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's doing every stuff.

[Josh Sharp]

Throw myself off the cliff for your pleasure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I'll say in this one, I think there are two stunts and one of them is kind of. It's unclear what the stunt is. It's largely underwater. And he's in an underwater suit. And it's like. What? I guess he's just floating through water. That's the stunt.

[Josh Sharp]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because there are parts where there's.

[Josh Sharp]

How deep is he? Cause it gets dodgy down there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's the big question. But why would he need to be that far down for a movie?

[Josh Sharp]

Well, because he's Tom. Why does he need to do any of this for a movie?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because he cares.

[Josh Sharp]

Why does he need to ride a motorcycle off a cliff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He loves Hollywood magic.

[Josh Sharp]

He loves Hollywood magic. You can get the bins real easy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, they talk about that in the movie.

[Josh Sharp]

I bet they do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a big plot point. You might get the bins and then. I don't want to give anything away.

[Josh Sharp]

40 minutes of film right there discussing the bins.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It'd be great if he got the.

[Josh Sharp]

Bubbles in the bloodstream. Is that what it is?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think nitrogen or something. And then it makes you dizzy.

[Josh Sharp]

And you don't want that stuff there. No, I don't want nitrogen in the bloodstream. I'll tell you that, girl. You do not want nitrogen in your bloodstream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He goes very deep and then shoots up to the surface.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, that's the part that'll get you as someone who's scuba dove.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I mean past tense.

[Josh Sharp]

Scuba dove. About three times a decade ago. You really have to pace your way up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, you have.

[Josh Sharp]

That's how you get the bends.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have a history of scuba diving with water.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, this is true.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, this is.

[Josh Sharp]

I love this stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know if that's something you want to talk about or not.

[Josh Sharp]

It is true. It tried to kill me last year. And you can find out all about this in Josh Sharp Tada. My one man off Broadway show starting at the Greenwich House Theater.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can promote this later.

[Josh Sharp]

Can I?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, of course.

[Josh Sharp]

I don't know what you're going to clip. I actually. I actually don't know how you're. I don't know how your audience listens to this. Maybe they start at the end and go to the beginning. Or memento style. Maybe they start at either end and meet in the middle. That's a podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's just have a series of Polaroids of the podcast to try to figure out what was going on.

[Josh Sharp]

I've got to mention www.josh within every 45 seconds if I'm gonna get it in a clip. I know the game. I know the game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're going to cut it out of. This is gonna be a very difficult episode to listen to.

[Josh Sharp]

Good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That will all just be.

[Josh Sharp]

That's what I hope to bring to every podcast. An air of unlistenability.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, but you have. So this. Actually, this particular Mission Impossible might really hit home for you.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, he's done some water stuff before. I feel like, like two ago there was that one where there was the big. Again. Can you remember a single plot point?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, absolutely not.

[Josh Sharp]

And I have something. Sorry. To tease the listener. I have Something really salacious about that to mention to you off air.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, and it can't be on air.

[Josh Sharp]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

About Tom Cruise or the water or the.

[Josh Sharp]

About the whole world and the making of these films.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Josh Sharp]

Something I learned from someone who made one of these films that I don't feel comfortable saying on air.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God, I can't wait.

[Josh Sharp]

And yet I do feel comfortable saying that I don't feel comfortable saying on air. On air. You know what I mean? Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I need to make some sort of reminder for me so I can. I'm gonna put this.

[Josh Sharp]

I don't feel comfortable. I feel comfortable saying. I don't feel comfortable saying it on air. On air. That's one of those great. Do you know what I mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Josh Sharp]

That's really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's meaning it's as meaningless as a Mission Impossible movie.

[Josh Sharp]

One time. This is maybe the hardest I've ever made Aaron Jackson laugh as a joke. The show this Is Us was on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, sure.

[Josh Sharp]

I said, this. This is Us is us. And he thought that was the greatest thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait. But let's see. The thing that you don't feel comfortable saying, you don't feel comfortable talking about.

[Josh Sharp]

It has to do with the writing of these films.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, the writing.

[Josh Sharp]

But I do find them to be pretty wild.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was something.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, okay, two or three. Yeah, there was like a nuclear reactor. Remember? He had to, like, hold his breath for, like, three minutes to go and do something to it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And that wasn't the last one. Maybe it was in this one. There are flashbacks of water.

[Josh Sharp]

You're right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, was that. Which where in the timeline was.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, we're in sort of like part two of part three of part what? You know what I mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is the final reckoning. Yeah, this is the final reckoning.

[Josh Sharp]

We're finally the end of the Russian nesting dolls of these films.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. As far as we know, he does have a little.

[Josh Sharp]

It's good to know because, God, think of all he's reckoned with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He has reckoned.

[Josh Sharp]

It must be a big load off for 30 years. Final thing to reckon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think he's got. I have to imagine he's gonna have a craving for reckoning in the future. I don't think he can stay away.

[Josh Sharp]

He'll have a different proper noun. But I have a feeling he'll still be reckoning. The guy won't have. The guy won't be Ethan, but he'll be reckoning with things. I think he's still doing that movie where he goes to space. I love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which one does he go to space in?

[Josh Sharp]

A few years ago, they announced that he's going to make a movie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right.

[Josh Sharp]

Where he actually goes to space.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of Katy Perry sty.

[Josh Sharp]

Gayle King style. It's actually a biopic on Gayle King. Tom's playing Gayle King. Soaring High. The Gayle King Story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tom is suiting up to play Gayle King.

[Josh Sharp]

I can't wait for that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think we're all kind of just very nervous, Very nervous for Tom. But he's literally going to space. For what purpose does the whole crew go to space?

[Josh Sharp]

You keep wanting to go, why is he doing all this stuff? You have the answer. For our delight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's going to take a whole film crew to space for our delight.

[Josh Sharp]

Maybe he's gonna film himself. I don't know. I wish I were a producer on this film and I had these answers for you. Bridger. Nothing would make me happier than to have every answer because it would mean I'm a producer on the film.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The fact that you remembered it's pretty impressive.

[Josh Sharp]

It's me trying to. I'm vying for co producer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You want to be shot into space with him?

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. I don't have an inclination to go to space, but I would if Tom asked.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If he asked. Would you?

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. Are you kidding?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder if I would.

[Josh Sharp]

You think you wouldn't?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think I would really have to do some soul searching. I would have to. I probably would.

[Josh Sharp]

You'd have to offer it up in prayer. You'd have to offer it up in prayer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. I'd say a quiet prayer and then go to space with Tom. I probably would go.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Even if I died, who cares? To have gone.

[Josh Sharp]

What a way to go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And to be on camera dying with Tom Cruise.

[Josh Sharp]

Think of the residuals your family would receive. Your family would be set for life. Good point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And Tom, his box office cachet is a little. I think it's fading.

[Josh Sharp]

Is it? But what? Didn't they feel that Top Gun Maverick sort of, like, brought back movies?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It brought back the last mission possible. Kind of sent movies to their graves.

[Josh Sharp]

Okay, Understood. Understood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I don't. I don't know how this one's performed.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, maybe I don't want to produce after all. Here I thought I'd be rich.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I believe this one's being beaten by Lilo and Stitch. So maybe Lilo and Stitch has brought the movies back.

[Josh Sharp]

Do they do their own stunts?

[Bridger Weiniger]

As far as I know. Stitch. Which ones? Wait. Lilo and Stitch is Lilo? One of the humans.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm realizing I've never seen Lilo and Stitch, not even the old animated in my mind. And I'm giving myself the space to be wrong. Lilo is human.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Josh Sharp]

Stitch is a creature from outer space. Question mark.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That makes sense. But just until this moment, I thought. Leela, for whatever reason, I was under the impression there were two outer space creatures. But of course, it's just the blue one.

[Josh Sharp]

It might be a little Two peas in a pod.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

You know, you sort of want the odd couple of it all, don't you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? You want the little. You always want a small human girl with an alien.

[Josh Sharp]

Always. You want this. I'm surprised one of us isn't a small human girl. And I'm even more surprised one of us isn't an alien. You know, how will this play? Two of us talking. Nobody cares. None of you care.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's.

[Josh Sharp]

Nor should you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There are sparks. What this is missing is Tom Cruise welcoming you to the movies like he did last night. The audience gasps.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did he do that in the last movie where it's like he's done it everywhere? It's his home video where he's like, welcome to the movies.

[Josh Sharp]

I think he's done it in all of them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now it's so important that you're here at the movies.

[Josh Sharp]

I was talking about this with people the other day. It would have been incredible if in this one he didn't do it. Some old man comes out. I want to walk away from the movie, pulls off the mask and stuff. Oh, my God. Like in the film. And then the set breaks away and he's hanging on a helicopter. And then the movie starts there. It's in the world of the movie, on the movie. Curtain up, light the lights. You know how movies start for that to be.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ethan could be doing some Hollywood hijinks within the movie.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why didn't they see? This is you pitching yourself as a.

[Josh Sharp]

Future producer for Think Of Me for Space. Think Of Me for the Gayle King Story, is all I'll say. Hollywood. Now that I'm here in la, you know, in New York, nobody takes me seriously as a producer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Josh Sharp]

But now that I'm here in la, you're making moves.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're in A and a very L. A T shirt.

[Josh Sharp]

Thank you. This is the Clark street. Yeah. The 101 diner one time. I saw Fred Durst there about 15 years ago when it was the 101. Isn't that awesome?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was he doing?

[Josh Sharp]

Eating the breakfast, of course. Why? Eating Breakfast, of course, while having a delicious meal in the 70s ambiance of the 101 now. Clark Street Diner.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love the Clark Street Diner.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, I love the Clark Street Diner. I could be go there today, make a reservation. Josharptada.com book a table with Fred Durst at the Clark Street Diner. I love the Clark Street Diner. I'm glad you clocked this. Some people don't know it's merch. Some people just think it's a shirt with breakfast on it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a good shirt and I'm there probably twice a week.

[Josh Sharp]

I love that place. My friends used to live around the corner and I would go there all the time when it was the 101.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's such a good diner.

[Josh Sharp]

I find this shirt is well received by the community. But that like every time I wear it, someone comes up and they go, I love breakfast. People often just think it's about breakfast and I. It's a bold statement, but I celebrate that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course there's a lot to love and it's a good looking breakfast. That's the diner breakfast.

[Josh Sharp]

Do you know I have one note on this breakfast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What?

[Josh Sharp]

Can you guess what it is that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It shouldn't be $22.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, sweetie. Oh God. Clip it. Come get into a war with them. Am I doing this right? You know, I don't have a podcast, but I'm aware of your culture. Clip it. We just say clip it when we want.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Clip it whenever you want. It doesn't matter what you said previously.

[Josh Sharp]

My biggest note is that breakfast, brunch, diner culture, it's about beverages.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, sure.

[Josh Sharp]

I need double the beverages here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This has already got two drinks.

[Josh Sharp]

I understand.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a coffee and a probably $40 orange juice.

[Josh Sharp]

I want a big glass of water and then I probably want like a boozy drink too. Like if this is bru. If this is brunch, I want fresh squeezed orange juice. I want bad coffee. Some of the worst coffee.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, then this is a bad place for you to be. They have good coffee.

[Josh Sharp]

They actually do have good coffee. I want water and I want a bloody Mary.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. That is.

[Josh Sharp]

To me, the joy of brunch is so many. A sip of everything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Even the water.

[Josh Sharp]

Yes. Oh, I want. I'm drinking water all the, all the time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not for me, not during breakfast.

[Josh Sharp]

Just with the stuff. I'm one of those people who like the taste of water.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that true?

[Josh Sharp]

Yes, I think it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't mind the taste of water, but I'm gonna taste this.

[Josh Sharp]

Wait, do it. Amsr style. That's not right. But I'm sticking to it. Amsr.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think SS thinm amsr. Hey, no, it's asmr.

[Josh Sharp]

It's asmr. You can always remember because it's related to S and M. That's the mnemonic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's where it goes. Okay, now we. I'm just joking.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, that's. Well, no wonder you just don't know how to drink it. Sorry. It's good, right? I fucking love water. Water rules.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When people say they don't like the taste, what are we talking about?

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, they're clearly drinking dirty water.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because it's such a pure thing. Like, it's a weird well.

[Josh Sharp]

You wanna really get into it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

And I don't like to participate in the New York versus LA of it all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I like both.

[Josh Sharp]

I like both. I promise you, we do have you beat on water.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, this is something I don't believe.

[Josh Sharp]

Have you. You've tasted both, though.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've had both.

[Josh Sharp]

Maybe I. Dynamite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I might have kind of a dull taste bud for water because I think I can drink about any water and I think that tastes about the same.

[Josh Sharp]

Sure. Our Billy Banks and yours has some issues.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would like.

[Josh Sharp]

You're not fully at the beach where you're like, oh, God, you know, but this is. It's. It's not right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would like someone to bring me a bottle of New York water and pour it into. I would like to do it side by side.

[Josh Sharp]

Sorry to pull back the curtain. I wish that was my gift. So someone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bad shame.

[Josh Sharp]

And not even like Aquafina. Just like a. From my town. Oh, that would have been so good. And I'd kept it in the fridge. It was just like, I've somehow got it on the plane. I checked.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's on dry ice.

[Josh Sharp]

It's on dry ice. I shipped it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess that's the hard thing about getting water here. You would have to check a bag of water.

[Josh Sharp]

I could have gifted you 3 ounces of water so easy. I could have given you 100 milliliters of water. And that would have been such an incredible gift. I mean, that's enough to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, a little sip. That's all you truly need to get the taste.

[Josh Sharp]

What's a tasting menu?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's a flight.

[Josh Sharp]

It's a flight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Flight of water.

[Josh Sharp]

I could have brought you a flight of waters from all over the country, all over the globe. Even from outer space with Tom. We could have gone to the moon and fetched that water. That's there. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills Cereal Drumstick, Frozen treats, Outshine fruit bars, Oreo Cookies and Capri Sun Pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Every day you moisturize your face, hands and skin, but what about your dry eyes? It's time they got some attention with refresh Optiv Mega 3, a lubricating eye drop that instantly moisturizes and soothes dry eyes. This moisture rich, preservative free formula is enhanced with inactive ingredients like flaxseed oil and antioxidants. Its advanced formula supports all three tear film layers and its moisture locking technology helps prevent further irritation. Refresh Optiv Mega 3 is safe to use as often as needed, so you can make moisturizing your dry eyes part of your wellness routine. Get lasting relief with refresh optif mega 3. Find refresh online or in the Eye Drop section at all major retailers. FSA and HSA eligible.

[Josh Sharp]

This message comes from Greenlight Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place with Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk [e-mail] iheart New York.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Does famously have good tap water.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, we're known for the stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder if there's a place that has better tap water than New York. There must be outside of the country.

[Josh Sharp]

I think it's one of the best metropolitan tap waters because we get it from some upstate reservoir that's like known for good. You know, I feel like if you're.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, where's LA's coming from?

[Josh Sharp]

Well, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So interesting y' all aren't.

[Josh Sharp]

Y' all don't have enough to water your lawns or take your showers. So yeah, where is it coming from? Probably Utah or something. To your Mormon wives. They're probably sending you your water over.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a subject that my dad will bring up on occasion you're taking all of our water.

[Josh Sharp]

Where does your father live?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Utah.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, I believe it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But Utah's also a desert, so I don't quite believe that either. Right, but that water's already coming from Idaho.

[Josh Sharp]

The people of Utah have faith.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They do have faith in a way that we don't.

[Josh Sharp]

So they're making water in the desert.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The faith is in the water. The faith is in the water.

[Josh Sharp]

They're finding water in the desert. If anyone is, it's a faith based people, these godless heathens. You live in a desert and it's staying a desert. You have no faith.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Utah is a desert, but you have faith.

[Josh Sharp]

So the take a step and the. You know when there's one step of footprints, you know who's carrying you. When you're in a desert, you know where the water comes from? A bag, a big bag of water. When there's only one set of sopping wet footprints, you know who it is? Jesus, fresh out the bath.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bubbles in his hair.

[Josh Sharp]

Bubbles in his hair. Bubble bath. Yeah. And a big sort of fun like Santa beard. Like when you're three years old and you're making the big bubble beard over his regular beard. Absolutely. He thinks that's he gets the meta joke of that. One of the famous alt comics.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Jesus, he's a little off kilter.

[Josh Sharp]

He's oh, slightly on. Always off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know what I mean? What was that?

[Josh Sharp]

I think it was CBS or was cbs was character's welcome.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, character's welcome. That's Jesus's. You meet them 12 in that hooker.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's got 12.

[Josh Sharp]

He's got 12 in that hooker following him around. Jesus was such character's welcome.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The 12 in the hooker.

[Josh Sharp]

Jesus was so characters welcome.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He really was. He loved of all types.

[Josh Sharp]

He loved all types. One of his things. Yeah, one of his big things was loving all types. Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Luke, John, the others, Judas and those other guys. Judas, I mean we're talking. You want to talk characters.

[Josh Sharp]

Judas is one of the more famous of the guys, isn't he?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Full characters.

[Josh Sharp]

The ones who wrote books. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. You know they got their sort of titular stories.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Peter.

[Josh Sharp]

Peter, of course. Well, the doubter or no Thomas doubter. What did Peter do?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Peter kind of just floated around, just made sure everyone was feeling okay.

[Josh Sharp]

He might need a snack.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, exactly. Thomas.

[Josh Sharp]

God, how many can we get? Because you were raised Mormon or maybe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Still are raised and you don't want to answer. You want to get me back in.

[Josh Sharp]

I just. You're refusing to get back. You're refusing to go on the record with that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm well on the record about this.

[Josh Sharp]

No, I've listened to every episode. Yeah. I was raised Presbyterian still, but we have this. We have different guys, I guess, different guides. Do the Mormons believe in the 12 guys?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, the 12 guys. Absolutely. So, Peter.

[Josh Sharp]

Peter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

James. Wait.

[Josh Sharp]

Matthew, Mark, Luke. John.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter, James. Peter, James.

[Josh Sharp]

Doubton. Thomas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thomas.

[Josh Sharp]

Thomas. With all them damn doubts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Judas.

[Josh Sharp]

Judas. Of course. The bad boy of the group.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, the classic bad boy. And.

[Josh Sharp]

And we're missing four. Don't you feel like we'll get there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I'm trying to think of Italian Catholics in my life. They usually get these names.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Michael.

[Josh Sharp]

You want to believe there's a Michael.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's call it a win.

[Josh Sharp]

Let's not look this up, but let's call it a Michael. It's also. I like, want to give some Old Testament names, like Esau, but I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Those were all the best. They're real, like, guy names.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, they're guy names. They're basically like Kyle's and Marks. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Matthews.

[Josh Sharp]

They're honestly, a lot of the, like, gay guy names.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. It was Brendan.

[Josh Sharp]

Brendan, yeah. Okay, we're missing three because Michael.

[Bridger Weiniger]

David.

[Josh Sharp]

David must be there. I mean, not the one who fought.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Goliath, of course, but isn't David. It's Mary and David.

[Josh Sharp]

Are the parents Mary and Joseph. But was there a Joseph in the guys? Was there a Joseph in the guys? Maybe. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, there's no Joseph. That would have gotten weird for the whole situation.

[Josh Sharp]

Let's say there's a David. Let's say there's a Dave. That's the 10th is Dave. We're missing two more, but there's two people. We're still too short.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tyson.

[Josh Sharp]

Tyson.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tyson. And Lance.

[Josh Sharp]

And Lance.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. I'm really shocked that I can't. Some of these guys were duds, most of them. Honestly, like, probably eight of these men were full duds.

[Josh Sharp]

Sorry to go Hollywood producer again. You come in, I got this story. It's me, this hooker and 12 guys. I go, I could cut eight of the guys for story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We don't need any.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm like, keep the main guy, for sure. He's our guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, we're sending this one to space.

[Josh Sharp]

He's the campaign is Jesus. Of course, Keep the hooker. And then I'm like, I think maybe eight of those guys could go for story.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No budget and budget. Oh, my God.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. Not gonna be full Blumhouse, but I'm cutting speaking parts. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe these are background.

[Josh Sharp]

These are background guys. For certain.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The four apostles ate background and hooker.

[Josh Sharp]

The four apostles ate background and hooker. Now that sells. That can sell in a way the Bible hasn't. As we know the Bible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Bible has very poor sales.

[Josh Sharp]

Poor sales. Poor sales.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One of the worst selling books of all time.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One of the absolute bombs.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, those residuals must be nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That one's the original bomb.

[Josh Sharp]

The original bomb.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Turkey. It was a turkey.

[Josh Sharp]

It was a turkey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Box office turkey. Yeah. I don't know how we possibly got to the four apostles. Viii.

[Josh Sharp]

Background. I do. And again, when the listener is listening to this as intended, memento style, front, then back. Front, then back. Meet in the middle. It will all make sense.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you need to promo? Right?

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely. Starting July 7, from Josh Sharp and the director of oh, Mary Sam Pingleton comes Josh Sharp. Ta da. A one man solo experience in the off Broadway kind of way. God. Imagine the sexy West Village evening. You'll have a Cosmo before, a Cosmo after.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh, what a fun.

[Josh Sharp]

You carry the rest of the girls again. Imagine if there were 12 sex and the City girls. You're like, you only need four.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no chance. Are you kidding? And like, you're not taking a quiz where you're trying to figure out which of 12 characters you are.

[Josh Sharp]

You never could. Yeah, you're right. The human mind doesn't need all. Especially when you already got a hooker and a lead. That's two. You really only needed two guys.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Two, you think?

[Josh Sharp]

I mean, if we want the sort of like cast of four.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

What are you, the Christ figure, The hooker, the doubting one or the bad guy? It's really Thomas. Judas, then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no friend. He needs at least one friend.

[Josh Sharp]

You're right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've got to have one.

[Josh Sharp]

The hooker's a friend, but not in that way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not in that way. So I imagine that would be Matthew.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. Okay, so you really only need Jesus, Mary, Matt and Judas, I think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow, so now you're saying no doubter.

[Josh Sharp]

Or do you think it's more dynamic to sort of not have a full villain in the Breaking Bad way? Like, you know, you don't want him to just be bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You need some gray area.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, he's the gray character.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because Judas is kind of a gray character.

[Josh Sharp]

I guess you're right. He did it for, you know, he needed that bag of gold.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was conflicted and he also was part of the plan.

[Josh Sharp]

And also you feel for Judas. Cause he knew, you know, there's no small parts, only small actors. He knew. He was like, I have to do this. I'm predestined.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the thing. He's a patsy.

[Josh Sharp]

He's a patsy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He really. It's like this poor guy, he's a rube. Like, if he hadn't done it, the plan would have fallen apart. It was a heist, ultimately, and that was his big part. And everyone's so mad at him.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, God, everyone's so mad. He knew he was the heel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, he was the heel.

[Josh Sharp]

He knew, like, I'm the heel. Someone's gotta do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But hopefully there was some, like, behind the scenes contract work where it's like, yeah, everyone's gonna hate you, but there'll be money under the table. You're gonna be happy with how this plays out.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely. I wonder if he was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did he go to hell?

[Josh Sharp]

I guess. What happens to him after that? He asks for forgiveness for it, doesn't he?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would hope so.

[Josh Sharp]

If so, then he's going to heaven by the rules. I understood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it seems like he's still got reputation.

[Josh Sharp]

I was really in it. I was doing that thing because. Did you have the Left behind series? Was that a cultural episode?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Weirdly and kind of. Thank God Mormons don't get into the Left behind rapture of it all.

[Josh Sharp]

Because I was so worried the rapture could happen any moment. I just found myself sort of like, quickly praying for forgiveness, like, all the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Time, just in case it could happen in the flash of an eye.

[Josh Sharp]

Truly, I was just like. Every minute I'd be like, forgive me for my sins. She was like, okay, I'm good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Imagine if it had happened in between those prayers. What a shame.

[Josh Sharp]

Or if in praying I sort of sinned. If I was like, please, God, forgive me for my sins. If, like, if that, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, an imperfect prayer. Yes.

[Josh Sharp]

Toxological.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're so stressed out.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There should be like an iPhone alert. There should be a, you know, like an earthquake or a fire where you get a few seconds to, like, sort it all out. I don't think that it's fair that it's more of a prank, that it just happens. The rapture.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think you should have a little leeway. A little like, hey, you've got 10 minutes. Right.

[Josh Sharp]

I mean, like a fucking tsunami comes and they can sound a siren. Yeah. You know what I mean? You tell me the Rapture. You can't at least give sort of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A quick heads up, like, the clouds should gather.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Look into the sky and Then you see the clouds, like, flying through the air too quickly.

[Josh Sharp]

There should be a last call.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Josh Sharp]

You know what I mean? Rapture coming. Last call. Any of y' all want to pray for who's in or how many of you are full? Like, I'm a no. I love to ride motorcycles and smoke cigarettes, and I'll never give that up. Get me to hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Post rapture seconds after, you're just standing there in your shoes, smoking a bunch of empty shoes around you. What a feeling.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You'd feel like the ultimate bad boy.

[Josh Sharp]

You would be having so much fun. You'd be like, finally, my people. Now that all these fucking squares are gone, let the listener know, but the viewer will see. I had gorgeous clip ons. I had to take them off for these.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You had to take them off? And they look so good on me.

[Josh Sharp]

For these goddamn headphones, which we'll never.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Understand why we have to. We.

[Josh Sharp]

But then I realized, yeah, no, I can hear me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're in a very quiet room.

[Josh Sharp]

Also, I hear myself all day long through these damn ears. Yeah. What do you think these damn ears are for?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would love an answer on why we have to wear the headphones for one moment.

[Josh Sharp]

Let's see what it's like. What's it like to do it this way?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It feels so good. My ears are hot.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I feel honest for the first time on this podcast.

[Josh Sharp]

I guess the idea of this is it sort of puts you in producer mindset too. What are they gonna hear?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that's true.

[Josh Sharp]

Maybe that feels not the right way to think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How do you feel? Asymmetrical. Put them back on. I'm not wearing them.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How does that feel?

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, if I'm a girl. Yeah, you're.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Do you feel like this is an imbalance? Do you feel like.

[Josh Sharp]

No. Cause I'm so in my own experience.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

You know what I mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're so purely there.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm so purely in this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

But what I was gonna. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was the deal?

[Josh Sharp]

Point of clip ons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Josh Sharp]

They don't say by law where they need to be clipped on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting. Never.

[Josh Sharp]

Porque. Porque no los manos. You know, like, why not?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Could I try them on?

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely. Do you know, actually, this is my favorite thing about clip ons. I don't have my ears pierced. I have a ton of clip ons. And the reason why is I love that they're social that oftentimes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, totally.

[Josh Sharp]

This is actually how it goes when I'm out in the real world.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Josh is putting them on.

[Josh Sharp]

Don't even ask to try them on. Just be coming up to be like, oh, I love your earrings. Because this happens all the time and this is what I do. I'm not even putting them on. Well, and that's fine. That's okay. They are what they are. Imagine they're unwell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love those earrings.

[Josh Sharp]

Give them a spin. Try them on. Have them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are you sure?

[Josh Sharp]

Yes, absolutely. Find me later. You know, truly. I'll meet people up and be like, find me in a half hour.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

And then you get to sort of live the fantasy for a while. Oh, they look great on you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see here. It's hard to find your earlobe when you don't do it that often.

[Josh Sharp]

I know. Even when you do, it's hard because.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They'Re all a little different. Is it on?

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. You look great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to get my eyes on this. I'm going to turn on my camera here. Let's see.

[Josh Sharp]

You can't do this with real earrings. You know, you can't say like, take a spin, find me. You know, I'll get them when it's mine. It's also why I never. I always spend single digits on them. Under $10.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Single digits. How much were these?

[Josh Sharp]

I get them at thrift shops. These were definitely less than 10.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

So now, because I know I give them to the world and they don't always come back to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, wow.

[Josh Sharp]

Do you know what I mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of a Johnny Appleseed.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely. In many ways. And I'm glad we're getting into this, but no, in many ways.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So creating orchards.

[Josh Sharp]

These belong to the. I find these belong to the universe and I'm just happen to have them at this moment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you remember where you got these? Are these LA clipons?

[Josh Sharp]

I have so many. Anytime I'm at any like thrift or vintage shop, I'm looking for clip ons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now when you say thrift or vintage, particularly for earrings, are you saying like more of a curated thrift or vintage store or are you saying like a Goodwill?

[Josh Sharp]

Either.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. So this is where I would draw a line.

[Josh Sharp]

Either I've got some of the greatest ones that just like Goodwill's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, so at a Goodwill there are a few things I wouldn't buy.

[Josh Sharp]

Sure. And it's the fresh deli meat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They should get a deli counter in there.

[Josh Sharp]

They should have boar's head.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's holding them back? They got everything else.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Start carving up some turkey. Fresh deli meat. Dairy, dairy, Almond soy.

[Josh Sharp]

You do that stuff at the Goodwill.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, of course. Just find that under a rack. Kind of rolling around. I'm saying. Oh, I didn't expect to find this here. An earring. Anything that will directly touch skin. I'm always a little nervous about what.

[Josh Sharp]

Glass directly touch the sink.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's a good question. Anything that can't be put through a washer.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Washing machine.

[Josh Sharp]

Don't you feel like you could actually. I found a pair of sunglasses on a subway the other day and put them on. And my boyfriend was so. He was like, can you touch these? And I was like, no. What are you talking about? He's like, they touch your eyes. I was like, they literally don't touch my eyes, dude.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, but they get the bacteria close to you.

[Josh Sharp]

Again, he was right. But anyway. But then he took a Clorox wipe and he did it right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can do that. You can do that with these, right? Yeah, okay. That's a good idea.

[Josh Sharp]

The other thing I like about clothing, they have a look you can't get from pierced earrings. Like clip ons inevitably look like your grandma removed them to answer the phone in the 80s. Like there's a chunkiness that only exists in the modality. And you can really find those at the Goodwill or the housing works. Housing works in New York? Great clip ons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My grandma never got her ears pierced. She only wore clip on earrings.

[Josh Sharp]

Does she have big low hangers?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, she had big. She had ones like this, the big buttony tie.

[Josh Sharp]

But I mean her lobes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Josh Sharp]

Did she have big low hangers?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't remember.

[Josh Sharp]

You know how some never got into it. Some grandmas get them low hangers and not. And if you clip this out of context that you think I'm talking about tits, my God, don't let it be known I'm talking about lobes on these women, not tits. But did your grandma have them low hangers? Did she have them low hangers? Your grandma? And you know what I'm talking about. If you twist my words to make it seem like I'm a pervert when I'm so not. I'm talking about your grandma's low hanging, luscious earlobes. I'm not a pervert. I'm a normal guy. I'm just a fucking normal guy who wants to know about your grandma's low hanging ears.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The answer is yes.

[Josh Sharp]

Yes. I was hoping that'd be the case.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think there's something else we need to talk about.

[Josh Sharp]

Anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As much as I'd like to stay on this Exact topic.

[Josh Sharp]

We've been on one topic the whole time. We've been so cogent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the podcast. You know, we start with a topic, and I say we're gonna dive deep into this. Focus, focus.

[Josh Sharp]

No zagging.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. We've got to.

[Josh Sharp]

I pray you to stay focused. You said to me, we are gonna.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Flesh out this one thing as we've. What we've been doing, but we have to. There's one other thing I'd like to talk to you about.

[Josh Sharp]

I would love.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was really excited to have you here today to plug your show over and over and over, and if you'd like to do it now.

[Josh Sharp]

Josh Sharp. Tada. Tickets available now at Josharptida.com, july 7th through August 23rd, seven nights a week.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was excited to have you here doing that, so I was a little surprised. The podcast is called I said no Gifts.

[Josh Sharp]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I have to imagine you are a dedicated listener.

[Josh Sharp]

I am.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're constantly writing in and begging to be on the show.

[Josh Sharp]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I was shocked when you walked.

[Josh Sharp]

In the mail, too. Handwritten, long form, cursive, all caps, all. Paige is the most serious.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All caps.

[Josh Sharp]

Yes. Screaming in cursive. I know. And yet I just felt it would be rude to not bring you this gift. I put so much thought into it. Into the wrap, into the wrapping, and into the gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. It looks like you went to Nordstrom. The gift wrapping.

[Josh Sharp]

I don't want to give away. I don't want to give away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We know it's not water, unfortunately.

[Josh Sharp]

Do we.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Should I open it here on the podcast?

[Josh Sharp]

Droop, droop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The bag is falling apart. It's so soggy. Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

How do you do the one that sounds like a waterfall? That's for the listener at home. Oh, my God, my bag is dripping. Go ahead, do Foley. Oh, my bag's dripping everywhere. Oh, my God. To the listener, my bag is dripping everywhere. Great. Foley.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've gotta do everything in this business now, you know?

[Josh Sharp]

You really do. You gotta diversify.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right. Okay. Should I open it here on the podcast?

[Josh Sharp]

I feel you might as well. Well, actually, would you rather open it off air? I'm fine with that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If I wouldn't mind just throwing it away right now. I don't need to know what's in here now.

[Josh Sharp]

This is a gift that I thought a lot about. I've definitely seen what's inside of there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

There's no world in which I remembered this morning that I left the gift in New York, and I got this from the house of the person I'm staying with. There's absolutely no world in which that's true, and I can't wait to look at this thing that I definitely have a deep familiarity with. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are dry eye symptoms frequently interrupting your day? Keep dry eyes off your schedule with Refresh Relieva PF Extra Lubricant Eye Drops offering an advanced formula to soothe and hydrate your eyes with innovative hydrocell technology to lock in moisture and prevent further irritation, Refresh Relieva PF Extra gives you lasting relief. Relief Equipped with a soft squeeze multi dose bottle featuring a double lockout system that keeps drops sterile so you can feel confident using it, Refresh has been delivering relief from dry eye symptoms for 35 years. It's a track record of success that has earned the trust of physicians and patients alike. You deserve relief from your dry eye symptoms and your eyes deserve extra. Find Refresh online or in the Eye Drop section at all major retailers. FSA and HSA eligible.

[Josh Sharp]

Think advertising on TikTok isn't for your business?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Think again.

[Josh Sharp]

We've generated over 100,000 leads which has converted into over 40,000 sales for our pet insurance policies. My name is Trey Farrow. I am the CEO of Spot Pet Insurance. TikTok's Smart Plus AI powered automation takes the guesswork out of targeting, bidding and optimizing creative. If I can advertise on TikTok, you can drive more leads and scale your.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Business today only on TikTok. Head over to get started.TikTok.com TikTok ads okay, we're pulling it out. It's in a white bag from what is this brand?

[Josh Sharp]

Oh well, we all know this brand. Vori Vuori. Vuori Vuori.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But don't let that maybe the 12th of possum.

[Josh Sharp]

That's the one we are missing. Vuori.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We expected him to make a bigger splash.

[Josh Sharp]

I forget what was his personality? Traitor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was always dressing up. He was always going out.

[Josh Sharp]

He was the fashion forward one. He was the nightlife apostle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was the culture correspondent.

[Josh Sharp]

He was the one in the morning being like, could y' all keep it down? Like, oh, my fucking God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, I'm reaching in. Pulling out kind of a silky. Oh, what is this?

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, you know, where did I know? Oh, well, it came from Vuorry, of course, A brand I'm so familiar with.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Several T shirts.

[Josh Sharp]

And again, there's no world in which these are T shirts that the person I'm staying with was dying to give away. And when I said, could I give them as a gift on this podcast, he said, when you see the burden be lifted. Where he was like I was. For months I've been like, you have to drive and donate these somewhere or give them away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where did he get these?

[Josh Sharp]

Vuorry, I guess. At Vuorry, I guess.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But he didn't want them.

[Josh Sharp]

And they're exactly your size, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, these are form fitting.

[Josh Sharp]

They're exactly your size. Remind me what size they are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

These are an xl.

[Josh Sharp]

And that's you. And that's you. And that's so you. And again, there's no world in which. When I said to my friend, oh, fuck, I forgot the gift I was supposed to bring him, do you have anything you wouldn't mind me giving? And when I say a weight was lifted when he went, I've been trying to get rid of these shirts. If you could give these to him, it would be so I kind of want to take them back to return them. And they wouldn't return them. And so then I was like, well, I have to donate them somewhere. But I've just been like, I can't, you know?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did he not try them on in store? What's wrong with this person?

[Josh Sharp]

I actually do think they were a gift from his mother.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Oh, yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

But I won't name him in case his mother's a listener.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

But they're gorgeous shirts.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now the thing is, do you want.

[Josh Sharp]

To try one on now?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do. I think I should.

[Josh Sharp]

I think you should.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So the thing is, I've been complaining a lot recently about how guests never bring me clothes because on our live shows, there's only one real, like, stage worthy outfit I've been given and I've run it into the ground and I wonder if this is the next move.

[Josh Sharp]

I think we should try one on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would have to wear them pantsless on stage.

[Josh Sharp]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As more of a dress.

[Josh Sharp]

And they're. There's also a world in which you layer them maybe one over the other or one on each leg as sort of pants. While this. Put it on over your shirt, if you don't mind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is almost like a tunic.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, I got you a war tunic. Darling. Darling, put on your void tunic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you have a color preference?

[Josh Sharp]

Let's start with the one in your hands. I think you reached for something. Right? Whoa. Did you hear my stomach growl?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Josh Sharp]

I wish it would do it again on this. That would be a cool A s and M S. S, S, S, M, M, M R. Sorry, you're gonna have to pay Rihanna now. Wow. It looks so good. Please clap. Please clap. Do you feel like that's too small?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Does it cover this is. This feels immodest.

[Josh Sharp]

Feels a little immodest. I think it looks great on you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you think I could wear this on stage without pants? Would that be too small?

[Josh Sharp]

I think you could wear it without pants. It'd be sort of slutty. You'd be a little bit of a hooker, you know, I'm gonna tell you this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm a hooker on stage.

[Josh Sharp]

You wouldn't be serving Matthew. You wouldn't be serving Thomas. You'd be serving that hooker. Which of the girls are you? You're Samantha. You're the hooker.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm the hooker. This fits perfectly. I would say.

[Josh Sharp]

I think it fits great. I think you could wear it without a pant and you could either do. You could either be full whore and sort of like have a thong and you're getting the little peak of underboob. Or you could do sort of like an athletic underwear kind of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sort of like mid thigh. Exactly.

[Josh Sharp]

Like a Lululemon, sort of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That actually would be a great sporty mom.

[Josh Sharp]

Sporty mom. And I find what's really in fashion now is like proportion, where it's like. Because everybody thinks it's just like all the kids are wearing baggy shit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Josh Sharp]

But it's really fun if you sort of have one. One baggy element and then one sort of not baggy element. I think that makes it sort of fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Right. No, this is. And it's kind of a nice aqua navy color. This is. Why don't you put one on? I would love to try it on some.

[Josh Sharp]

Does this color speak to you? Because they were both sort of blue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Both of us in blue.

[Josh Sharp]

And thank God, earlier we'd already sort of gotten ourselves used to the no headphones. Now I see why we did that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now you're in practice.

[Josh Sharp]

Cause you can't. Or should I try to put it on with this on?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You might as well.

[Josh Sharp]

This is so comedy. This Is so comedy. He says to all three. To the three camera setup, to the multi cam setup you have here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're getting. Oh, so now it's. See, it doesn't fit you as well as me. No, this is more me size. Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

Swallows me up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, you're looking. Come on. You're not showing off anything in this thing. Well, it went over your headphones better than I expected to.

[Josh Sharp]

I actually thought it would be a thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

But no, it actually sort of works. And it keeps this wire on me at all times.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. So you can't get away.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. Now I know where she's at. Maybe that's sort of part of the style is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's nice. A little push.

[Josh Sharp]

Okay. Well, that's really good. And what do we do with the last one?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anneliese, would you like to try it on?

[Josh Sharp]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on in here, Anneliese.

[Josh Sharp]

Come on in here, Anneliese.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We should all be in a top.

[Josh Sharp]

We should all be in our voir couture.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's almost an alpha tour.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of new athleisure look. How long, by the way, the tag is so long. This is an insane.

[Josh Sharp]

It started giving CVS receipt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. This is really, like, a response to the tagless T shirt.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're saying, no.

[Josh Sharp]

What if it was tagged? What if it was tag full? They said tagless. More like tag full.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Annalise is gonna throw a top, and.

[Josh Sharp]

If you want to pair it with these clip ons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

No pressure. Open invitation.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're all trying new looks. Over. Under the vest. Over vest. Oh, but over vest.

[Josh Sharp]

Vest over would be its own look, but this sort of feels more of the. The Runway that we're serving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right. Okay. Annalise's got a top on. We all. I mean, it works for almost anybody.

[Josh Sharp]

Good. And it. And it just. And the shape. The way it accentuates the shape of the vest. And don't forget, you can put it on your fingers. You clip them on anything you want. But I celebrate the years. That's one of the classic places.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now Annalise is getting the I love your take clip on kind of a side ear. Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, that's right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, yeah. Getting into the cartilage. Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

There we go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There we go. That looks good.

[Josh Sharp]

That looks great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There we go. So this is why we do a video. You gotta get this on video.

[Josh Sharp]

We look incredible. We look incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Immaculate. And the listener. We look.

[Josh Sharp]

We look immaculate. The way. The way you could conceive of this would be immaculately. It's it's an immaculate conception in a way, the way we look.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Absolutely.

[Josh Sharp]

But yeah, you can go the video. Okay, great. Just go to www.joshtada.com and that's where you'll see our stuff is stored.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Embedded QuickTime video.

[Josh Sharp]

Embedded QuickTime video.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm gonna keep these.

[Josh Sharp]

Find me later.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Anneliese is taking them or may take them permanently.

[Josh Sharp]

They get it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We have no idea where they're gonna end up. Wow, look how good we look.

[Josh Sharp]

And you know, I'm so glad that the intention and care and thought I put into this is reading because you're right, we do look good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is for me, kind of a not my mom, but a grandma shirt purchase. Which is. There was a long time when my grandma would buy me medium sized T shirts. I think in a kind of an attempt to say, I think you're bigger than you are.

[Josh Sharp]

Cause let's. Cause we're. Let's call it as it is. You're a small.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm a small. Yeah, that's small.

[Josh Sharp]

And there's no shame in that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Since the day I was born, there's.

[Josh Sharp]

No shame in that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was no shame. But my grandma, I think may have felt some shame.

[Josh Sharp]

She felt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She was embarrassed.

[Josh Sharp]

She felt she could raise you as medium.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Perhaps she didn't want to look a cashier in the eye and say, I have a small grandson.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, to be fair, she had them low hanging lobes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a different grandma.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, you have to have more than one. How does the math work on that? God, I don't even know. Spoiler.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Grandma swimming in grandmas.

[Josh Sharp]

Drowning in grandma. The stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of a Tom Cruise in Under the Ocean of Grandmas.

[Josh Sharp]

I've said that to you before so many times. And I'm glad it finally makes sense to everyone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm coming up from those grandmas and I'm getting the.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, God, yeah. How to describe him? He's sort of like a Tom Cruise swimming in an ocean of grandmas. Do you know the one I'm talking about?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's so many grandmas. You're worried about him.

[Josh Sharp]

Yep.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're worried if he's going to make it out alive. And then he does every time and he saves the movies. So we've got these shirts on and your friend. Wow. This is the sort of life I would love to live to just apparently not try the shirts on. Just have them take them home and then not want them.

[Josh Sharp]

I need to get more of the story on why he didn't want them. What I know is when I Said, do you have anything I could give away? Immediately he lit up like it truly was. He was like, this is so great for me. I've been trying to get rid of these and now you actually have a use for them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Unbelievable.

[Josh Sharp]

To think that this could become content. Really goes to show you, anything can be content, huh?

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you think, just if you think hard enough, anything can be content.

[Josh Sharp]

You know, I hate that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it should be.

[Josh Sharp]

This is why Tom is struggling at the box office, because we've allowed anything to be content.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, do you want to know? There's a line in the movie that feels a little anti content that Tom says, do you want me to tell you what it is? You spend too much time on the Internet. And that's kind of a, you know, like a little one liner y scotch. So there's.

[Josh Sharp]

May that be a lesson to you all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a movie that's very much about cyberspace. They say cyberspace. Every character says it at least one time.

[Josh Sharp]

That phrase, cyberspace. Cyberspace, a phrase we're saying all the time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's very current.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. So they have like a Gen Z writer on this, I guess. I mean, they must have someone really.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gen Alpha, maybe.

[Josh Sharp]

Gen Alpha.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is somebody who's like, was raised by someone who was born with the Internet, you know, this is somebody.

[Josh Sharp]

This is the granddaughter of someone who had Internet the whole life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Granddaughter of a Gen Z person writing this movie. And yet you can feel it on the screen. It's like every inch of the screen is covered by someone who's beyond Internet life. Someone who doesn't. Isn't even on TikTok. It's so old.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, God. Embarrassing pate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they are saying, we need to protect cyberspace. Cyberspace could be destroyed. This is said throughout the film. And then Tom ultimately kills someone and says, you spend too much time on the Internet.

[Josh Sharp]

That's his big sort of. Yeah, wow. Mic drop line. You spend too much time on the Internet. May I go that way?

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I'll say that Tom has a thriving Instagram presence.

[Josh Sharp]

Does he? I don't follow him. And I should.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I looked it up yesterday. You know, it's not off the cuff. These are, you know, promo stills, this sort of thing that I have to imagine a Scientologist is running this.

[Josh Sharp]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't imagine. There's just like a normal person.

[Josh Sharp]

One time I went to the center, like in Los Feliz, like the one by ucb.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, of course.

[Josh Sharp]

I went to the restaurant there. You've never had better service in a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Restaurant, you can no longer go there they are. I tried.

[Josh Sharp]

Wait, you can't. This was years ago.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So because of tax, some sort of tax problem, they're constantly trying to evade taxes. And I believe you now have to be like a member of the religion in order to enjoy the cafe.

[Josh Sharp]

Incredible service there. Michelin star worthy, really attentive. When I asked where the bathroom was, it was a far ways away. And he said, I'll walk you there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, of course, this is why you're poking around.

[Josh Sharp]

But that was just sort of the energy. You just felt very like needs were anticipated. You know, they're there with the fork right after you drop it away. We're like, how did you know they.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Were under the table? You catch the fork before it hits the ground.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. Incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How was the food?

[Josh Sharp]

I have no memories of the food.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I remember looking up the food online and it looked a little like wedding catering food.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, that feels right. This was probably the year 2018. Probably around there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That makes sense.

[Josh Sharp]

It's been a while.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've been to the celebrity center right next door.

[Josh Sharp]

As a celebrity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As a celebrity, I said, make way, everybody. Here comes the celebrity. I went in there and they need to open a window. That's what I'll say. But I imagine they don't open the.

[Josh Sharp]

Windows for temperature, for smell, for both.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a stuffiness to the air that feels like, let's air it out. But I wonder if there's something about not wanting to open the windows in case somebody wants to move in or out of the place, being undetected.

[Josh Sharp]

Sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But there was a stuffiness. And I've also been to the blue building, the biggest hospital size one.

[Josh Sharp]

Have you seen it? No, I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If I have, I've forgotten that one's in Los Feliz. It's that.

[Josh Sharp]

I must have seen it, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Josh Sharp]

Think how much time I've spent stomping around Los Feliz.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a very. It's the worst blue you can imagine painting a building.

[Josh Sharp]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I not like these two shades.

[Josh Sharp]

Actually, these are some of the best blues.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Might be the color of the shirt. Yes. A little lighter. And I believe it's a former hospital.

[Josh Sharp]

But now and sort of curse, you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Know, I'm sure a lot of the people in there would love to be.

[Josh Sharp]

I lost my producer play.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Sharp]

I literally just shot myself. Don't clip this, don't clip this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Keep this for listeners. Only listeners going wide. Tom is browsing suggested reels and one runs by and he sees it, then he says this and he's like, I'm not going to space with this.

[Josh Sharp]

No way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unbelievable. Tom's got a new girlfriend.

[Josh Sharp]

I let this man produce. Really? Does he?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think so. A non scientologist, I believe. Oh, who knows what's gonna happen to her?

[Josh Sharp]

No. Water and oil, fire and ice. Tom Cruise and his non scientology girlfriend. These are classic pears. Of course, doctor, patient, these are classic pairs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But he's circling somebody and I mean, what is that? What do you mean, what is that? The experience of being in his field of vision as a romantic interest.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is he taking you on motorcycle rides? Hot air balloon? R.

[Josh Sharp]

I hate to do this again. I have a second story I'm gonna tell you off air.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Sharp]

I have one that comes from the same source.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I have one that feels more like an urban legend that involves Tom Cruise and island and his birthday.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, that's fun. That's fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's a wild one. And I don't know that it. I mean, it feels like such a myth that I feel like you could.

[Josh Sharp]

Say it on, you know, but there's many forms of truth. There's the things that just like feel so true in the myth building way that you're just sort of like, this is. I know this is apocryphal, but it's like true to the essence.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right?

[Josh Sharp]

So maybe it's one of those.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, this one. And it's an exciting one. It's a. There's an element of danger and sexiness.

[Josh Sharp]

I bet. I bet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Knowing that guy and on his birthday.

[Josh Sharp]

Of all days, one of the most sexy days. And there's danger there too, the birthday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I wonder what he does do on his birthday, Chris.

[Josh Sharp]

Coconut cakes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He has.

[Josh Sharp]

You think he gets a lot of coconut cakes?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've had that on this podcast.

[Josh Sharp]

How? Not one. That was from him, just from the show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fortune Feimster was aware. I think she may have gotten one from him.

[Josh Sharp]

I bet Fortune feels like she's on that level. God, to be on that level. What are you in it for? You know, E. Hollywood News, asking me, what are your goals as an entertainer of little renown? And I go, well, I hope to break out of my niche cabal of. Of queer comedy and off Broadway theater, work at Josh Sharp. Ta da. And go to the next level, which is receiving a coconut cake from Tom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's within reach. I think the list is long and I think it's constantly shifting. I think some people are like, oh, I Didn't get one this year. What did I do wrong? Fascinating, but I can't imagine it's Tom. I think it's kind of a picky assistant who's like.

[Josh Sharp]

Or a PR team.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, PR team.

[Josh Sharp]

Or just someone like. It's probably IMDb star meter. They're probably just like, oh, interesting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, look for the top. That's not a bad way to do it. Yeah, I might start doing that. Sending a thousand cakes.

[Josh Sharp]

It would be good for the guy from I said no gifts to give out to be known for his gift giving to the top thousand, you know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wonder how much that would cost. Well, probably $100,000 or so if everyone will donate a little bit of money to my next PR stunt.

[Josh Sharp]

That's your Patreon, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

You're clearing six figures on Patreon easily daily. Release your taxes to the listener. Release your taxes. Bridger. As transparency, we're going create a specific.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tier of the Patreon, which is donate cakes to the top thousand star meter.

[Josh Sharp]

On IMDb and a tier above that where if you pay enough, you get to see your taxes. There should be a one tier that's like, one person gets to see my taxes if you pay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How much should that be? Hmm.

[Josh Sharp]

How much would I let for someone to see my taxes? Actually, not that much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Josh Sharp]

The idea that it's only one person is sort of fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Josh Sharp]

So then I actually don't need that much money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But then do they have to sign an ND because you don't want them leaking? And then people getting it experience if.

[Josh Sharp]

They won't tell anybody. 200 bucks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would say 50 bucks.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. I went there in my head and I was like, come on, self worth. Give yourself a little more than that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, about $200. Okay. You should start a Patreon exclusively to show one person your text.

[Josh Sharp]

And when you log on, it's like one of one slots filled. You can't do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, exactly. And then you have to wait for that person to die. Oh, is it monthly?

[Josh Sharp]

$200 a month to keep having access?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I think so. You can't. That can be a one time. And your taxes are fluctuating.

[Josh Sharp]

That's true.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You could hit hard times. You could hit it big and then.

[Josh Sharp]

Be on this list and have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you want to promote anything?

[Josh Sharp]

Mission impossible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go to tomcruise.com go to. I went there.

[Josh Sharp]

God, I should have called my show the Final Reckoning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Josh Sharp.

[Josh Sharp]

The Final Reckoning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's still time.

[Josh Sharp]

There's still time to switch it go to josharptada.com to see Josh the Final Reckoning, his website.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I went and looked and there's excellent information. There is a biography which is extremely.

[Josh Sharp]

Long to think and it's fun to think about. You're like, huh, this Tom Cruise guy, What's his story? And your first thought being, I guess I'll go to tomcruise.com and see if there's a biography there. You're gonna find your entry point. What was the thing that brought him into your culture? And yet there was still so many questions.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's nothing about this person. It's very, like, about me. That's like, you get in there and I can't imagine who wrote that. Who do you hire to write the Tom Cruise biography online?

[Josh Sharp]

The Voice. It didn't feel like Tom is what you're saying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It could have been. He's up late one night. He's thinking, why not?

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People should know. Beginning to.

[Josh Sharp]

He's had a little too much coconut.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cake stuck to the gills.

[Josh Sharp]

He's past his bedtime. He knows he was being naughty. He had an extra slice when he shouldn't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sick with him.

[Josh Sharp]

He said, oh, God, I won't be able to sleep at all. But fine. And then he's up a little wired, a little crazy, goes, what if I wrote an about me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fires up the computer. I will say the biography ends before the most, the current Mission Impossible. So I feel like someone's gonna get fired.

[Josh Sharp]

It's a cliffhanger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Clip this and get that person fired.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because they need to update Final Reckoning. But maybe he forgot the password.

[Josh Sharp]

Maybe he forgot the password. What would it really say? And at the end of the day, he reckoned with everything, you know? And to conclude his gorgeous career, he did that. He did one last reckon for the girls. The end.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the last line of the film. This is for you, girls.

[Josh Sharp]

This is for you, girls. One last reckon to camera. Straight to camera. Hey, just so you know, these 92 films, they've all been for you girls.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Stay Reckoning, dives back into the ocean.

[Josh Sharp]

Me as Tom Cruise, ending the film. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, the biography is worth reading.

[Josh Sharp]

What name should he have when he goes to space?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, like what New character name. I feel like he's never played a Chris.

[Josh Sharp]

That's true.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Has he played a Chris?

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. No. Ooh. Or.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, Chris.

[Josh Sharp]

What was the name of this Chris?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Vuare.

[Josh Sharp]

Chris Voire. No, Chris Voir is really good, actually.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That's nice. It's a little too. I would say, It's a little gay downtown. Yes.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, that's a coded way to say yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I don't know that he wants to get too close to that.

[Josh Sharp]

This is, you know, one of your mom's friends at church and your son. Is he still downtown? This is your mom's church friend trying to inquire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your mom forcing a smile.

[Josh Sharp]

Yes. He's actually never been more downtown. Keeps moving south, actually.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But he's got a job.

[Josh Sharp]

But he's got a job and a partner.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Chris Voir. I mean, I think that may just have to be it. Chris Voir. I mean. But actually, unfortunately, it's the Gayle King story. I think we already know he's playing Gayle King.

[Josh Sharp]

It's Gayle King.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or maybe Gayle King, as could be.

[Josh Sharp]

This sort of like, you know, in the biopic where they sort of invent the composite character that's like, oh, we sort of need to put six feet on one. Like, it's his manager and also his grandpa and also his lawyer and also his cake maker. Chris Foire is like the one who inspires Gale to go to space.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Also played by Tom.

[Josh Sharp]

Also played by Tom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of a clumps, what we in.

[Josh Sharp]

The business call a clumps scenario. You know, there's only four stories, as they say. It's Casablanca. It's clumps and Clumps. Clumps. There's only so many stories that we keep retelling and we keep doing clumps. Sinners. Sinners is a clumps.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sinners is a clumps, ultimately.

[Josh Sharp]

Sinners is a clumps, ultimately.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's almost. I would say almost word for word retelling of the clumps.

[Josh Sharp]

Yes, Adaptation. That's a clumps. We have so many great clumps in the lexicon, in the media landscape.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How many clumps were there?

[Josh Sharp]

Actual clumps and not just the story we told.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just want you to answer the question. No other information.

[Josh Sharp]

You are so. Can I apologize deeply? You are so right. I didn't mean obfuscate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Josh Sharp]

My God, I'm ashamed. How many clumps were there? There is actually so many reads on that. I know, because it's both. How many in this version of, like, Casablancas are there? To which I would say probably 250 stories that clump.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, sure.

[Josh Sharp]

How many in the franchise? I want to say three, but then I'm also going, but in the family of clumps, how many members of clumps were there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I'm picturing a dinner table.

[Josh Sharp]

And I'm picturing a dinner table. I'm wanting to go eight. And are they all Eddie? I don't know. But there are, I think, more clumps than there are Eddie's. You know, I think he's some of the clumps. And I think there's others.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There are other people that are not. Yeah, I guess he has to play off a clump.

[Josh Sharp]

I've never seen a clump.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A clump needs another person to play off.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm culturally aware of a clump. But, yeah, a clump needs. And it can't all be clump to clump. It can't all be Eddie to Eddie. Sometimes it's gotta be, oh, it poisoned the audience. It poisoned the audience. How many clumps are there? Gosh. We're gonna try and name em like the disciples again.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Matthew, Luke, John Clump.

[Josh Sharp]

Doubting Thomas clump, Hooker clump. Thomas Clump at the dinner table. I don't know about all this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. I actually have to believe there's a Last Supper scene with the clumps. And I'm sure somebody's done that where.

[Josh Sharp]

They'Re all on one side of the table, Last Supper style.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I believe that. I'm sure that's been made somewhere.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm sure that's been made.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And if it hasn't, it's being made as we speak.

[Josh Sharp]

The listener right now is going, I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Could get rich just running to their paints and easel. Well, is there anything left we need to say about these T shirts?

[Josh Sharp]

The feel is nice. We haven't really commented on it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It made me warm, you know, like I'm layered here.

[Josh Sharp]

And you mean that. Open parentheses, complimentary, closed parentheses.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Josh Sharp]

You're not trying to be open parentheses, derogatory. You're not like, it's winter and this shirt hasn't made me warm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's. I'm saying this is good. This is good as a layer. It almost feels like nothing.

[Josh Sharp]

It breathes, I guess, is what we would say, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It breathes. I think it is kind of an athleisure or sportswear.

[Josh Sharp]

It's definitely an athleisure. That's why I think it would pair well with your Lululemon sort of vibe for your next live show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or a stiff denim.

[Josh Sharp]

Or a stiff denim. Real. And I think there's something to you trying to embrace all three in the look. Either they're layered on top, or two are like arm. Big long arm sleeves.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Josh Sharp]

Or you make a Pant out of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It, make kind of a skirt, the Lululemon.

[Josh Sharp]

And they're sort of up each leg as sort of like a. Almost like a big flowy bell bottom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A bell bottom that hits mid thigh.

[Josh Sharp]

I think there's something to that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There we go.

[Josh Sharp]

I think there's something to that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This feels like the next on stage. I feel like now I have no choice whether it works or not.

[Josh Sharp]

You were retired from the stage, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was done. I had my final record.

[Josh Sharp]

You're your equity card. Like Patti LuPone. And now we're dragging you back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm giving controversial interviews always.

[Josh Sharp]

You're in one right now, aren't you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who on Broadway should I insult right now?

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, gosh. Who on Broadway should you insult right now? I blew on off Broadway. Josh Sharp. Ta da. Of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ask me what I thought of your show.

[Josh Sharp]

Bridger. What'd you think of my show? And then I'll do the New Yorker quote at that. Bridger stared off into the window for 15 seconds. Then what line did she come back on? It's like, weather's nice day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a beautiful day.

[Josh Sharp]

Brava. Finally, an Angelina who reads the New Yorker. Finally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We love Patty. A menace. An absolute menace to society.

[Josh Sharp]

Have you thought about starting a magazine? The Angeleno.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's not a bad. Has anybody ever tried another thing I.

[Josh Sharp]

Don'T want to look up?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's never been a better time to experiment in print media than never been a better.

[Josh Sharp]

The getting is good in print.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a cash grab.

[Josh Sharp]

It's a cash grab.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You were shooting fish in a barrel.

[Josh Sharp]

Mm. It's a Start a newspaper. Kids. You want some advice from an old dog? Start a newspaper. That's what I wish I'd done.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you want to know where the money is.

[Josh Sharp]

If you want to know where the money is, start a daily newspaper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Buy a print factory. It's gonna get good.

[Josh Sharp]

It's gonna get good. It's gonna get better. It is good. It's gonna get great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I think we should play a game.

[Josh Sharp]

I would love to play a game.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, we're gonna play a game called gift or a curse. But I need a number between one and ten from you.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, the answer, of course, is nine.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nine. I love a nine. Gorgeous, Rarely picked. People don't care about feminine number. Picture her suit curve leaning against a wall. Jessica Rabbit.

[Josh Sharp]

Long cigarette, huge head. No husband. Many boyfriends. Ms. Nine. Ms. That's Ms. Nine. I haven't been Mrs. Nine for years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have to do some, like, calculating to get Our game pieces. So right now, you can promote, you can recommend, you can do whatever you want.

[Josh Sharp]

I would feel so tacky to be here to promote.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know you're not that person.

[Josh Sharp]

I'll tell you this. Cause we mentioned this off air. To answer your question, yes, my off Broadway run, Josh Sharp, Tada. Directed by Sam Pinkleton of Omarion, produced by Mike and Carly, who've worked with Cate Berlant, Jacqueline Novak might particularly all your favorites. The show's in the Greenwich House Theater. And yes, that's where immersive Sweeney Todd was in 2019. Question. You could sit in the pie shop and eat pie while Sweeney and the gang jumped up on the table and did their hijinks. So, yes, as a gay comedian, it's my birthright to get to haunt that space all summer. And I do intend to kill myself at the end of the run so that I can haunt the space as a specter. So come in while I'm alive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Talk about immersive theater.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, come in after and I'll be haunting your ass. Was that enough time?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That was perfect. Did we ever hear about the quality of the piece or. It was like somebody ran to.

[Josh Sharp]

When I went to see it, I did not sit down there. I sat in the balcony. There were like two rows of balcony seats if you didn't want to be in it. And I was like, if you weren't hungry for dinner. If you weren't hungry for dinner. Yeah, I can't imagine it was good. But that's true to the text.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, very true.

[Josh Sharp]

You don't want it to taste. If you taste good, you go, shit. This is gonna be a bad production of Sweeney, huh? It's like when you cast a Sally Bowles who can sing too well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right?

[Josh Sharp]

Everyone understands every single thing we have said.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I felt like I had one. Oh. What I was gonna say is everyone should see the show. I saw a very early run of it. It was rough. Josh was working through a lot of things.

[Josh Sharp]

And your notes saved the production.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I got on stage about halfway through the show and just. I had to kind of guide him physically.

[Josh Sharp]

You moved my limbs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I did save the show. And now they're gonna try it again. I'm not gonna be in New York, so I can't save it again. So we just have to trust that Josh will do it. But it's one of the. It's an amazing feat. Everyone should see this show. And it's. I mean, it's truly everything you need.

[Josh Sharp]

You're too kind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's so good. Okay, this is how we play. Gift or a curse? I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers.

[Josh Sharp]

I know. And you forgot the last part. Which is, I will get them. All right? That's how the game is played. We all know this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We'll see. We'll just have to wait and see.

[Josh Sharp]

We'll see. We'll see me get them. All right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Say it and we'll see you get them. All right.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're worth $200 a month. Okay, these are all Patreon suggestions. First one up is from a listener named Austin. Gift or a curse? The mayor's recorded greeting at the airport.

[Josh Sharp]

Curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why?

[Josh Sharp]

I don't need to be greeted by this man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it is a man.

[Josh Sharp]

There's so many. When I come to a city, it's not for its political figurehead. Greet me with the culture. I'd rather a hooker say hello to me than the mayor. I spit. Also, let's be specific. You want to land in New York and have that Cheeto Eric Adams welcome. You yuck. Curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. It's a curse. If the mayor cared, they'd be there.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They'd be there at the gate.

[Josh Sharp]

And you are the mayor. You're going to the fucking VO booth to record this bullshit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Shouldn't you even be doing streets?

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, we're all, I would so much rather Mayor Adams sweep the streets for an hour a day or. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's so many things a mayor can do. And, you know, it wasn't the first take.

[Josh Sharp]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They were in the booth all day again and again.

[Josh Sharp]

And, you know, he came back for pickups probably, too, I'm sure. And they're like, you don't have to do this. It's just, you know, weeks of work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He had to memorize and, you know.

[Josh Sharp]

It was non union.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. Of course, the mayor didn't get the pay he needed.

[Josh Sharp]

No. Nor the crew. Nor the crew.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everyone was cheated in this production. And it makes you feel uneasy at the airport.

[Josh Sharp]

I don't want that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't talk to me at the airport. Especially over, you know, what greets you at.

[Josh Sharp]

Have you been to LaGuardia recently?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have, but I don't remember. I was greeted by a beautiful water feature.

[Josh Sharp]

That's what I was just about to bring up. LaGuardia used to be a dump. It's one of the greatest airports we have now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I could not believe.

[Josh Sharp]

Water feature set to New York. New. That happens on the 15, 30 and 45. That's you being greeted by the mayor. Do you know what I mean? There's nothing more mayoral than do your water sounds. That's my mayor. You've been greeted. You've been greeted heartily. We, the people of New York, say, enjoy our water feature.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That airport they've done. They've done such a good job.

[Josh Sharp]

Wonders.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was scared to go into it. And then I'll never go to another airport. Burbank to LaGuardia.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, that's living. It's a dream vacation when you fly into Burbank here. My God. And baggage claim outside. You're like, what am I in the Caribbean? It's the tropics.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Baggage claim outside is such a. You could do that in a cold climate. I think people are thrilled to get outside and get a breath of fresh air.

[Josh Sharp]

I really do feel like you. You feel like you're about to board a Carnival cruise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's something a little safari about it.

[Josh Sharp]

Mm. It's very Bahamanian.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. All right, you've gotten one right so far. So you're on track.

[Josh Sharp]

So I'll get two more. Right. We all know this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This next one is from a listener named Nicola. Nicola. N I C O L A. Maybe that's a name for Tom Cruise. Gift her a curse.

[Josh Sharp]

Nicola Voir. Oh, that's a villain.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's absolutely his twin who's trying to take the spaceship down. Yes.

[Josh Sharp]

Anyway.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who's kind of on the back of the side of the spaceship.

[Josh Sharp]

Sorry to interrupt. First time I've done it all. Episode.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gift or a curse. Overnight oats.

[Josh Sharp]

Overnight oats. Gift or a curse. I think we're going to disagree on this. To me, curse. I just don't really get it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Josh Sharp]

I don't really understand why it needs to do what it does overnight. I don't know why everything you're getting from it can't be done in the morning. And I'm even pro. Oats. Pour me some hot water on these oats. Come now. A hearty, warm breakfast. I just don't get all of the to do. It's not like it's. There's not a maturation. It's not a fine wine. It's not a kombucha. You just need these wet these oats to be soggy. I just don't think it needs all that. I don't like that it's the last thing you see when you go to bed. And the first thing you see when.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You wake up, that should be a prayer.

[Josh Sharp]

That should be your beautiful wife. Or a prayer to God on high. But not these dry and then wet oats. Go ahead, tell me I'm right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct. It's a curse. I've tried them once or twice. Never impressed.

[Josh Sharp]

I've never tried them. They don't look good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a cold, wet thing.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, I know, and I get it. I'm like, it's a cold, wet thing that we've already done. Hot and cozy and lovely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? We already have the better version.

[Josh Sharp]

You already do it warm and sprinkled with cinnamon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not.

[Josh Sharp]

Why do you want it wet and cold and then on top of that, it could be wet and cold in just the morning oats. Right. Do you know what I mean? You could pour cold water on it. Why do you have to do this whole thing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a waste of everyone's time. It's a waste of. It's wasted my time, personally. At least twice I was so excited to try it, and I got ripped off.

[Josh Sharp]

Can I ask what's in it, other than the oats? Does it have other things?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think I may have put peanut butter in it.

[Josh Sharp]

Is that the whole thing? That it's like you let it sit with all these other flavors.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm guessing it kind of. They intermingle and then you have.

[Josh Sharp]

I just don't get it, and I don't want to. I think if I feel very Lucille Bluth about that. I don't understand the question. I refuse to answer. It's my favorite Arrested Development line. Plater platter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Plater platter.

[Josh Sharp]

I understand the question, and I refuse to answer. That's meat. Overnight oats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, overnight oats. I think it's a trend we're going to leave behind us, and we're all going to say, remember, overnight oats.

[Josh Sharp]

We will be embarrassed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of the mango and salt.

[Josh Sharp]

We will be embarrassed where we all thought.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is the thing. We're all talking about it. No, we all knew it wasn't working. Okay, you found two so far. I don't know. We'll see what happens. Finally. This is from a listener named Kelsey. Gift or a curse. Brushing your teeth in the work bathroom after lunch.

[Josh Sharp]

Gift. Gift. I love the feeling of a fresh mouth. You know what I mean? And there also is something a little bit in this context. You know, I love to brush my teeth in the morning. I love to brush it at night before I go to bed after a meal so that you don't taste whatever you've tasted. Of course, that's. Of course that's a clear win. But then the icing is the radical act of bringing this very private, very home object into the workspace. It's you saying, you don't own me. You don't own me. You know what I mean? It's. You're. You're walking towards, what if I fucking have a wank in the middle of the day at work? Who cares? You know what I mean? It's the right attitude towards work to say, I'm the boss of me now. Gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ring the bell, Josh, you won the game.

[Josh Sharp]

It's not about winning that. We said this was gonna happen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gift. You followed the rules. You followed the rules, which were win the game.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, I followed the rules, which I get everyone. Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gift for me. What a better way. If you want to build buzz around the office, around you as a person, start brushing your teeth. You're saying people are talking about you.

[Josh Sharp]

And you mean not just because you have the good breath. You make a big show of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. One co worker comes in, you're brushing your teeth. They're telling everybody, and can I ask.

[Josh Sharp]

Where do you leave the toothbrush?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just leave it willy nilly on the counter or.

[Josh Sharp]

I was gonna say, bring your own drinking glass and put it in there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Josh Sharp]

As if it's your home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe a cute novelty mug to show a little flare person.

[Josh Sharp]

I have a great mug that's got a New Yorker cartoon, and it's got these two old men and they're sitting in rocking chairs on a porch, and one says to the other, were we gay? That mug with a toothbrush in it at your work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And what I'll say is, you get there early the first day you bring it. You have to get there early before everyone else and put it in there, because then you have a mystery for the day. Everyone's wondering, who brought it in, who did this? Asking, then the person who brought it in.

[Josh Sharp]

Can I be. You brought it in. You know, it's you. I'm. The first time a co worker comes up and asks you, and you're so delighted to feign, you know, that you don't know. Okay, can we role play that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, of course.

[Josh Sharp]

Did you see there's a toothbrush in the bathroom?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, wait, I'm sorry, What did you say?

[Josh Sharp]

There's. Well, let me back up. There's a hilarious mug in the bathroom. And then someone has put what seems to be a personal toothbrush in there. Did you see that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Here in our work bathroom?

[Josh Sharp]

Yes. Who do you think would have done that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have. I don't know. Am I the first person you're asking?

[Josh Sharp]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Shit, I don't know. I'll keep an eye out. And then we meet in the bathroom and you feel so betrayed.

[Josh Sharp]

Uh huh. Oh, you got me. I say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then you quit, right?

[Josh Sharp]

You got me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't work here anymore.

[Josh Sharp]

You got me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I got you.

[Josh Sharp]

Don't get me again. Don't do something like that to me at work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well then don't be such a dumbass. You fell for it.

[Josh Sharp]

And I'll go. The mug was funny, though. Were we gay? Come on, you can picture it. That's the New Yorker. You can picture it. What's the caption for the Angeleno? Two old men sitting on the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, I.

[Josh Sharp]

Were we had a mission impossible or no, were we Scientologists?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have a catch all for every New Yorker cartoon that I think works for every one of them. And it's. I see you've met my wife. I think you can put that under.

[Josh Sharp]

Almost any New Yorker.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it basically works.

[Josh Sharp]

The two old men sitting in the rocking chair. I see you've met my wife.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ha.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm laughing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everyone's laughing. And they're bringing their own baggage to it because they're trying to figure out what does that mean?

[Josh Sharp]

Okay. It also does work for an off broad. I should have called my show Josh Harp. I see you've met my.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The final record.

[Josh Sharp]

That's so funny. Yeah.com.com.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. You won the game. What can I say?

[Josh Sharp]

I followed the rules.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You followed the rules. You didn't win the game. You came here and you did what you needed to do.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm an eldest child. I'm an Eagle Scout. I follow rules.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're an Eagle Scout.

[Josh Sharp]

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Does that answer your question?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're the first. I'm also an Eagle score.

[Josh Sharp]

Why didn't you join me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I was a bad one. I cheated my way to the top.

[Josh Sharp]

Wow. I only had 3 out of 12 of those Jesus boys. I knew that whole thing. I didn't know. I knew that whole thing. Can you do. On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, morally straight. I think I learned something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Morally straight. Oh, that's a tough one to say. Morally straight. That can't possibly. And sexually straight.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah. And sexually questioning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's unbelievable.

[Josh Sharp]

My morals are straight. It's my sexuality that's a bit curved. That's Jonas, of course. Wow. Judas. I meant to say fuck. I fucked up the joke. Like, he was Samantha Jones Jonas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know that famous Jonas got swallowed by the whale. And the other 11 were wondering where to go.

[Josh Sharp]

Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Actually, he's an Old Testament guy.

[Josh Sharp]

He's an Old Testament guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Always.

[Josh Sharp]

Always been with Esau, Abraham, all them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All them guys, they had the fun things happen to them.

[Josh Sharp]

They had some crazy happen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Old Testament people got the adventures, the excitement.

[Josh Sharp]

New Testament people got to meet a leper. I guess.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We'Re around so many sick.

[Josh Sharp]

People talk to me when I get eaten by a whale.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anneliese has a. We're not going to. Annelise has a gift or a curse that they're going to present to both of us.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And we'll see who's right or wrong.

[Josh Sharp]

Gift or a curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Showstopper round of the Great British Bake off gift. Okay, you.

[Josh Sharp]

Shh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

God.

[Josh Sharp]

Gift. The show is a gift. Let's start there. It's impossible to call any part of that show a curse. You know, it's a gift. Perfect casting. That show always I care deeply for. And the archetypes, the way they've managed to find so many iterations.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What about Matt Lucas? That wasn't good cast.

[Josh Sharp]

I even liked that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I hated that guy.

[Josh Sharp]

I liked other hosts more, but I liked Matt Lucas. Honestly, I've always loved everything. The amount of iterations they've found on, like, Hawaiian shirt dad who loves his daughter, you know, they have these, like, archetypes. They manage to keep filling me with warmth. And the Showstopper, as we know, is where they get to really pull out the stops, you know, they. And they often. They're so autobiographical, you know, in the Technical Challenge, you don't get to show off. Like. Well, actually, I. At work, I play violin from. At the lunch breaks, you know, So I made a big violin. Like, that's what you get out of the Shorestopper. You get to really learn about these people. So that's a gift to me. The whole show is a gift. And one of the most gifting parts is the Showstopper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To me curse. This is the worst part of the show. The Showstopper on Bake off is an absolute waste of everyone's time. And it goes against everything the show is about, because you think it really.

[Josh Sharp]

Is about home baking. And it's like you'd never do this in the home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is architecture. This is model work. This is a waste of my time. You're making toys that aren't. They don't look that good. It looks cheap. It is cheap. You know, spiritually cheap, I would say. And I'm watching the show, hoping to see something that I would love to eat. I don't want to watch you make your, like, bring it to class project. It's embarrassing. It's a chance for everyone to fall on their face making a hideous little sculpture. I think it's. They should cut. I stopped the show after the second round. I've stopped watching Showstopper. I said, well, I don't need to see that.

[Josh Sharp]

So then you start the next episode. Every time you go, where did that dad who loved his daughter in the wine shirt go?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, I do, basically. And I assume, well, they probably created a horrible sculpture that nobody wanted because that's not their. That's not their expertise. Yeah, that's not their calling. They need to cut the rounds. They need to streamline or put a third round, which is just another baked good.

[Josh Sharp]

Third round is always just like, biscuit, biscuit, plain biscuit, plain biscuit, no flavor fl. And for this week, a flour biscuit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Flour made a flour.

[Josh Sharp]

No, the flavor. It should taste of flour. You have 19 hours.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That round itself becomes three episodes.

[Josh Sharp]

Noel's coming over bothering you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Starving.

[Josh Sharp]

I love Noel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Noel's great. What a presence.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, I was a big bouche head back in the day.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Well, then this is really satisfying for you to watch.

[Josh Sharp]

Profoundly satisfying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mm. And the. The new person they've got in there is good.

[Josh Sharp]

I like her. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. I like. I like it. But the Showstopper round.

[Josh Sharp]

Obsessed with Pru. Horny drunk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Terrific. She's drunk on the show.

[Josh Sharp]

I love it. And she's, like, a thousand years old. Old. She's actually much older than you think she is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Really? She looks incredible.

[Josh Sharp]

Actually, this is the first thing I want you to look up. Cause I'm pretty sure she's, like, 86 or something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No way.

[Josh Sharp]

It's much older than you think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, let's see here.

[Josh Sharp]

Both with her. Look her. Viv.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see.

[Josh Sharp]

Everything else I haven't cared enough to look up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, one final guess. How old do you think she is?

[Josh Sharp]

Okay. I'm gonna try to really nail it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

83.

[Bridger Weiniger]

93.

[Josh Sharp]

That's what I'm saying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just kidding.

[Josh Sharp]

She's 85, but still.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, she's like, mid-60s.

[Josh Sharp]

She's in mid-60s and she's 85.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Good for her.

[Josh Sharp]

Working. May we be so lucky. Not just working.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Drinking, drinking too much fucking.

[Josh Sharp]

That woman still is horny and has fun and has a nip of whiskey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Josh Sharp]

I love Pru.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. What was doing prior to this? It looks like she was doing a bunch of teeth.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, Pruer to this. You meant to say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You meant to say pruer to this South African. Well, Annalise, what is the answer?

[Josh Sharp]

It's a gift. I'm sorry, Bridger. I was following the rules.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now this will all be blown up.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm not sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not sorry. Because the one that I just watched had the lead singer of the Kaiser Chiefs make an upside down croquenbush in the shape of a microphone.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm sorry, Hate this. That was made especially for me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How could I not love something like that? Do you have access to a white noise sound? Not for you.

[Josh Sharp]

You've actually pointed out, though, you are correct, of course. And I got it right because I followed the rules. You're hitting on because your hard line is like, oh, I don't want to see the stuff that you want to actually bake. I actually don't watch the celebrity ones because I was like, I want normal people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I do want normal people. And this has become my problem. Traders.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, I don't really watch the Traders.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Traders, when it was normal people, had the time of my life. Now it's celebrities. The stakes feel much lower.

[Josh Sharp]

So this is so I was about to say, like, which one? I've seen it. And then as soon as you said Kaiser Chiefs, I went, nope. Yeah, definitely haven't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Josh Sharp]

But I love the Showstopper. I love pushing them into the deep end and making them do. And it's silly. It's just goofy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a waste of time.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, the whole thing's. Why does Tom ride the motorcycle off the cliff? It's all a waste of time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Think of it this way. The riding off of the cliff is a technical challenge.

[Josh Sharp]

Think of the Showstopper like that. No, it's applying technical know how to something you shouldn't be doing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, The Showstopper is the plot of a Mission Impossible movie where we think we didn't need that technically.

[Josh Sharp]

It's changing the oil on the motorcycle. Riding it off a cliff is not what its intended use is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Riding off the cliff is a technical challenge.

[Josh Sharp]

Technical challenge is making a full stop at a stoplight. That's its intended use. That's making a flour biscuit. You Know what I mean? The motorcycle was not made to ride off the cliff. That's show stopping. That's saying, stop this show. Patti lupone. This is Patti lupone going. Have you no decency? Stop taking pictures to a photographer hired to be there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Such a mild move.

[Josh Sharp]

Sorry to fight you on your own podcast. And to interrupt, first of all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And to be so deeply wrong.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God. And to be so shy. Not to even promote your show. I know you've been a difficult cast.

[Josh Sharp]

I know I'm often told I need to speak up in life. And definitely on podcasts, we need to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Answer a listener question. Will you help me answer a listener question?

[Josh Sharp]

I would love to. I'd be delighted to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People are writing into I saidnowgifts.com no. No, they're not. Isaidnogiftsmail.com there's no isaidnogifts.com. don't go there. I don't know what's there.

[Josh Sharp]

Josh tada.com.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go to Josh tada t a d a. They're writing in and begging for answers. Will you help me answer one?

[Josh Sharp]

I would love to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. This is Dear Bridger and Sweetie Pie guest. That's nice.

[Josh Sharp]

It feels accurate, actually.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know.

[Josh Sharp]

They're just like, you know, shot in the dark, Right? But they got lucky, Sweetie pie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They got lucky. Good for you. You're building up your self confidence.

[Josh Sharp]

Or they're prescient.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, they might be.

[Josh Sharp]

They might have the gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very psychic.

[Josh Sharp]

Occam's Razor. They have the gift of sight. I won't interrupt again.

[Bridger Weiniger]

My friend was originally going to get married Valentine's Day to a lovely person she had a quick, whirlwind relationship with. Several months after the wedding invite, we received a mass text that they had broken up. Parentheses December. She said she was devastated but still wanted to throw a Galentine's Day type of party to celebrate her friendships and pick herself back up. IRSVP'd to this as well. Okay, so she did it to the wedding and to this as well. Ready to party and cheer her up come January. We received an updated RSVP text for the party that it is now on with the boyfriend as they are now back together but not planning to get Married again on February 14th in the original wedding venue they paid for. God, a chapel in a cemetery. Oh, wow.

[Josh Sharp]

That says it all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you have experience with this type of situation? Of course. Who do you think you're talking to? What should I bring to a party in a cemetery on Valentine's Day? Oh, we're a little late, I guess, on Valentine's Day. That has also the deeply awkward context of a broken off engagement, but still happily living together. It will be my first time meeting the significant other. All I know about him is that he's pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. Thank you for your help. And that's from Corinne.

[Josh Sharp]

Talk about a synecdoche where the part represents the whole. The chapel in the graveyard is like, yep, there it is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is the whole situation.

[Josh Sharp]

That's the whole thing. What do you bring?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What do you.

[Josh Sharp]

God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, what do you do?

[Josh Sharp]

What do you do? I mean, I guess you have to go. I would sort of. I feel like I'd want to embrace full ghoul and actually, whether whether I'm told or not, or whether I tell others or not, be like, what if I make it spooky because it's in a graveyard, like, come like, dressed as, like a. Maybe. Maybe hire someone to give me, like, really great, like, Hollywood level, like, spook makeup.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a. I mean, I feel like.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, and you could be like, cause we're in a graveyard and your relationship's back from the dead. Do you get it? That'd be fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. I mean, I feel like that's. That's beyond appropriate. Why else were they having it in a graveyard for a wedding on Valentine's Day?

[Josh Sharp]

At every stage, that was an interesting choice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They were begging for someone to show up in full prosthetics.

[Josh Sharp]

It makes most sense in this one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Josh Sharp]

Makes less sense for Galentine's your wedding. Right. Like, I'm back with this flop boyfriend. It's like, yeah, then let's do it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In a slip on the monster bags and let's boogie.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely, we'll boogie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Otherwise, cut them out. You don't need. This is the sort of friend no1rsvp to one event. And then it.

[Josh Sharp]

I still feel like maybe you still go at this point. Cause you're like, well, one last hurrah before I cut this person out. Because I would want to get eyes on this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You want to see what's happening and what. This thing is not going to go according to plan. It hasn't from the very beginning.

[Josh Sharp]

And then I'd sort of remove them from my life. And when, like two years later, they're like, I haven't heard from you ever. Did something happen? I go, absolutely, Absolutely something did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just forward the RSVP back to them.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Look familiar?

[Josh Sharp]

All three.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You flooded my email. Flooded. I think that's a problem.

[Josh Sharp]

My computer was smoking. My computer was smoking. I have a Gateway 2000 desktop, and it couldn't handle all of these emails.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just wrote Tom Cruise's biography.

[Josh Sharp]

I just wrote. But I was up late all night working on Tom Cruise, and I didn't save my work. And your email came in, and my Gateway 2000 started smoking, and I lost it. And Tom had to write it himself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And he had been eating cake.

[Josh Sharp]

He'd been eating cake, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So, okay, so just to clear up, show up in full Hollywood prosthetics, some sort of horrible monster on Valentine's Day. Just sit back and watch it all on both. Watch her leave screaming, not because of your costume, but because this guy is a dud.

[Josh Sharp]

Mm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Then go radio silent on her. Maybe change your phone number.

[Josh Sharp]

Mm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait for her to reach out, and then throw it back in her face.

[Josh Sharp]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's the perfect plan.

[Josh Sharp]

Perfect.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Corrine, your friend has pushed all of us too far. I'm glad we answered this too late, to be honest.

[Josh Sharp]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that she needed to take her own energy to this thing, which was confusion. Perfect. We answered it perfectly. I now have three different tops. I could wear these, you know, for weeks. You know, just cycle in and out.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, sweetie, that's a party in la. All right. Three different tops. Sounds like a Friday night for Bridger, don't it? Anyway, you were saying?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was saying. Josharptada.com tickets.

[Josh Sharp]

Thank you. @ least last. Last, you show me respect.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Someone had to say it on this podcast.

[Josh Sharp]

Someone had to say it on this podcast. It would have been men. Wouldn't be me. That would be tacky.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And this is the promo podcast. People come here. They're like, what will be? What am I going to get plugged? And I had to give them. You know, I. I teased it throughout, and I'm giving it. I give the listener what they beg for. Josh, I've had a lovely time with you here.

[Josh Sharp]

Me as well. Thank you for having me here in your gorgeous home.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. Anytime. And listener, the podcast is over. I feel a little bit of a sneeze coming on, but now that I've said it, it's no longer coming on, which is, wow, I overcame it. The podcast is over. So you have to do something else. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Anneliese Nelson, and our episode are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must Follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Josh Sharp]

Thought I made myself perfectly quite clear.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When you're a guest in my home.

[Josh Sharp]

You got to come to me empty handed. I said no guest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your presence is presence enough.

[Josh Sharp]

And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me? Career changers, including veterans and active duty.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Service members, your transition starts here. Go from GI to IT In a.

[Josh Sharp]

Matter of months, become a Certified Cyber Warrior. With training at my computer, Career cybersecurity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Josh Sharp]

Those who qualify hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway, now through June 24. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder, Bueno, Cheez It Crackers, Oscar Mayer Lunchables and Just Bear Chicken Bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies?

[Josh Sharp]

Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted?

[Josh Sharp]

If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Discover is accepted at 99% of places.

[Josh Sharp]

That take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Card, you automatically earn cash back.

[Josh Sharp]

Welcome to the now it pays to Discover.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the.

[Josh Sharp]

February 2024 Nielsen report.