Kate Berlant Disobeys Bridger

Summary

I Said No Gifts! with Bridger Winegar

Episode: Kate Berlant Disobeys Bridger
Date: October 9, 2025
Guest: Kate Berlant
Podcast Network: Exactly Right and iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This lively, freewheeling episode welcomes comedian and actor Kate Berlant to Bridger's backyard for a characteristically meandering, hilarious chat. As always on I Said No Gifts!, a rule is broken—Kate brings a present, providing a launchpad for an hour-plus of offbeat storytelling, personal overshares, and sharp observational comedy, all filtered through Bridger's deadpan hosting and Kate's surreal comic style. Expect conversations about ultrasounds, haunted hotels, missed connections, expensive chocolate fish, the pitfalls of gift-giving, social media addiction, diner orders, and the correct etiquette of sending back food. The show closes with Gift or a Curse (the signature game segment) and advice for a listener with an impossible gift-giving dilemma.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ultrasounds, Medical Mishaps, and Bladder Anxiety

• [02:25 – 07:18]
  • Bridger recounts his recent (perfectly normal!) ultrasound and minor gambling loss as the peaks of his week.
  • Kate joins and immediately relates, sharing tales of two vaginal ultrasounds, an ovarian cyst bursting (“I woke up in the night, threw up from the pain… Next day go in, and they wand. I go, yep, there you go… and then it’s just fine.” [04:13, Kate]).
  • They riff on the weirdness of having to fully empty one's bladder and “pee anxiety” when giving samples.
  • Memorable moment:
    • Bridger: “You don’t need to fill the cup. It doesn’t need to be overflowing.”
    • Kate: “It’s almost just like, I think, half an inch… A squirt.” ([06:57–07:03])

2. Gambling and the Slot Machine Experience

• [07:21 – 09:38]
  • Bridger’s infrequent attempt at gambling: he gives up after losing $20 on slots in Palm Springs.
  • Kate’s own gambling highlights (“I was like 45 black or whatever, and it landed on it… 150 bucks. I go, that’s it.” [07:43–07:48, Kate]).
  • Deconstruction of how slot machines work now (“You don’t even get the crank anymore.” [08:58, Kate]).
  • Parallels between gambling and social media dopamine hits (“I gamble. I guess I am addicted to gambling—because that’s what social media is.” [09:38, Kate]).

3. Social Media Cleanses & Digital Addiction

• [10:03 – 12:24]
  • Kate is on a seven-day Instagram cleanse (“Immediate relief.” [10:18, Kate]), with Bridger in awe.
  • They both bemoan how Instagram is now “like Facebook,” and reminisce about Facebook’s decline and the weird nostalgia of returning to unused accounts.

4. Craigslist Missed Connections & The Paramedic Story

• [13:37 – 17:00]
  • Discussion about the lost glory of Craigslist Missed Connections.
  • Kate premieres a story: she once called 911 for dizziness, befriended her (cute) paramedic, then posted a Missed Connection that predictably got no response.
  • Memorable exchange:
    • Bridger (re ambulance costs): “Is an ambulance ride $700? Is that what we think?”
    • Kate: “At the time, the number $700 was burned into my head.” ([16:12–16:54])

5. Superstitions, Salt Spills, and Knocking on Wood

• [20:13 – 21:02]
  • Both are “knock on wood” people.
  • Kate, on the salt spill: “If you spill salt… you have to throw it over your left (or right) shoulder. I do both because I never checked.” ([20:27–20:33])

6. Ghost Sightings & Haunted Hotels

• [21:02 – 24:07]
  • Kate tells a recent story about staying in a haunted hotel in Bend, Oregon; Google reviews confirm the location’s haunted status.
  • She also shares about a startling haunted-hotel moment in Ireland—returning to her room to find a strange pair of red underwear—and Bridger links it back to the present.
  • “It’s like going into a haunted house.” ([12:08, Bridger])
  • Kate: “I said, ‘Don’t. I don’t want to see you.’ And I said that out loud. No, I’m not open.” ([23:23, Kate])
  • They discuss classic ghost movies (The Others, The Conjuring) and why good child actors are disturbing (“Child actors to me are… They prove reincarnation is real.” [24:50, Kate])

7. Child Actors, Hollywood, and Career Longevity

• [24:50 – 26:57]
  • Kate and Bridger review the rare success stories (Mary-Kate & Ashley, Kieran Culkin) and question if children should even be in movies.
  • “All children in movies should be AI. Why not?” ([25:52, Bridger])

8. The Gift Segment – $32 Chocolate Sardines

• [27:19 – 41:03]
  • Kate’s gift: a tin of high-end chocolate sardines (“Price tag, by the way. $32.” [36:21, Kate]).
  • Extended banter about the cost, provenance, whether to eat them (“That’s $8 a fish!” [36:35, Bridger]).
  • The habit of buying gifts but never delivering them is dissected.
  • The two sample the chocolates—very good quality—and muse about tinned fish culture (“Are you a tinned fish person?” [43:07–43:14]).

9. Diners, Tuna Melts, and Sending Back Food

• [43:14 – 46:05]
  • Digression into favorite diner foods, with an ode to the Clark Street Diner tuna melt.
  • Kate admits she can now (as an adult) send something back if it’s truly wrong: “It’s one of the great accomplishments, I think, of adulthood, that… I can send something back now.” ([45:12, Kate])
  • How to handle missing ingredients or bad food diplomatically.

10. Bags, Purses, and Shopping Suggestions

• [51:34 – 52:58]
  • Quick advice on the best bag brands for Bridger and the sentimental resonance of purses with life eras.

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Most Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kate (on social media and gambling):
  “I guess I am addicted to gambling—because that’s what social media is. You refresh and it’s like you might get a cookie or you might not.” ([09:38])
• Kate (on child actors):
  “Child actors to me are… They prove that reincarnation is real. That’s some like 55-year-old actor who’s now 12 and is like, ‘Here’s my big shot.’” ([24:50])
• Bridger (on haunted feelings):
  “It’s like going into a haunted house.” ([12:08])
• Kate (on not giving gifts):
  “This is the promise of the person I hope to be—and I think I could still become that person.” ([40:36])
• Kate (on adulthood achievements):
  “It’s one of the great accomplishments, I think of adulthood, that… I can send something back now.” ([45:12])
• Bridger (about expensive sardine chocolates):
  “That’s $8 a fish!” ([36:35])
• Kate (on Instagram addiction):
  “It’s really embarrassing to be addicted to Instagram.” ([11:20])

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Gift or a Curse Game

[53:51 – 78:48]

Topics & Outcomes:

1. A character quietly yet dramatically takes a pill on-screen:

   • Gift. Both agree it’s cheap writing, but it’s “rich character development.” ([57:22–57:32])
   • Kate: “It’s a gift to the audience to show them—it’s character development.” ([57:22–57:32])

2. Tongue scrapers:

   • Curse. Kate wavers (“I own one, sometimes I’ll use it, but I need to get more research. Gift… I’ll still say it’s a gift.” [66:02, Kate])
   • Bridger rules it's a curse—too much conflicting science, possibly harmful or pointless.

3. Cutesy fake movie trailers with celebrities that remind you not to talk or text:

   • Curse. Kate tries to opt out (“I’ve never seen a celebrity in one of those. So I refuse the question. It’s a gift, though, because I like that one media.” [68:08, Kate]). Bridger rules it's a curse—they’re unnecessary and don’t deter the culprits.

4. Bonus, from producer Analiese: Watching a scary movie alone

   • Both choose Gift; consensus that watching scary movies alone, while tough, maximizes the intended effect.
   • Kate: “If I can sit through something really terrifying by myself and get through it, I’m good. Like, I’ve never felt stronger than watching… Blair Witch Project by myself.” ([79:03–79:21])

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Listener Advice Segment

[79:55 – End]

Dilemma: What should Katherine get her brother-in-law (college professor, loves surfing, writing, reading, and “New England pizza”) for his 40th birthday?

Key Suggestions:

• Kate: “Goldbelly in a pinch has some fun stuff for someone that wants a food item… send a fun, other kind of pizza sampler.” ([81:03–81:27])
• Bridger floats the idea of a Florida-style “swamp tour” gift experience.
• Small digression into pizza styles and regional specialties.

Memorable quip:
Kate: “How postpartum were you?” ([81:35])
On sending pizza to a friend after she had a baby.

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Closing Notes & Tone

• The episode is fast-paced, filled with tangential asides and observational asides, retaining a warm, conspiratorial feel between Bridger and Kate.
• Both bring neurotic self-awareness and celebrate their shared (and all-too-relatable) flaws regarding gifts, gadgets, and anxiety.
• The cadence moves easily between reminiscence, confession, and bit-heavy banter—typical of the show’s comfortable, comedic energy.

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Section Timestamps

| Segment Topic | Timestamps | |----------------------------------------------|--------------------| | Medical mishaps & ultrasounds | 02:25 – 07:18 | | Gambling & slot machines | 07:21 – 09:38 | | Social media addiction & cleanses | 10:03 – 12:24 | | Facebook & online marketplaces | 12:24 – 14:16 | | Craigslist Missed Connections & paramedic | 13:37 – 17:00 | | Superstition: salt & knocking on wood | 20:13 – 21:02 | | Ghosts & haunted hotels | 21:02 – 24:07 | | Child actors/Hollywood | 24:50 – 26:57 | | Kate’s gift: $32 chocolate sardines | 27:19 – 41:03 | | Tuna melts, diners, returning food | 43:14 – 46:05 | | Purse/bag chat | 51:34 – 52:58 | | Gift or a Curse game | 53:51 – 78:48 | | Listener advice & alligator digressions | 79:55 – end |

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Suitable For:
This summary is ideal for newcomers who want the episode’s flavor, loyal fans who missed a week, or completists who need to revisit the laughs and wisdom without re-listening.

Transcript

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[C]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. What a week. A lot of. I mean, let's just talk about my personal life. What are the highlights for me? I got an ultrasound and I lost $20 in a slot machine. So those are the two peaks of the week for me. And I imagine I can't bring up me getting an ultrasound without clarifying that. Turns out everything's fine. My kidneys and bladder are working perfectly. The doctor used the word perfectly, so there must be something else wrong with me. But for right now, the target concern is not a concern. So everybody relax about my kidneys. I mean that sums up almost my, you know, at least on a micro level. My week, the ultrasound I Will say the ultrasound. If you've never gotten one.

[A]

I've gotten one.

[C]

You've got.

[A]

Sorry. Coming in.

[C]

We'll talk about this. The guest. Oh, we'll get. Let's just bring in the. Well, first of all, I'll just remind you, get on the Patreon. We appreciate everybody coming to the Patreon, and we're having the time of our lives. I'm producing too much content for the Patreon, to be honest. It's a bargain. Get over there. Patreon.com I saidnogifts. Let's get into it with our guests. I adore her. Everyone adores her. It's Kate Burlett.

[A]

Oh, my God. Long time coming.

[C]

Good to see you. I know. Welcome to. I said no gifts. We've got to talk about ultrasounds.

[A]

Vaginal.

[C]

Oh, vaginal ultrasounds.

[A]

I have two vaginal ultrasounds by choice. Not why you think I've never been pregnant and starting to catch up with me.

[B]

I.

[A]

Not to brag. I once had an ovarian cyst burst.

[C]

Okay. Oh, is that painful? And is it painful? Like, before you go to the doctor? Like, you're like, oh, God, something's happening to me.

[A]

I woke up in the night, threw up from the pain. I go, hello. Next day, go in. And then they go, yeah, they wand. I go, yep, there you go. I was like, okay. And then it's kind of just fine.

[C]

Yeah. Because it's over.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How fascinating.

[A]

And then let's just say I had another one. But ultrasound. But I've never had over the.

[C]

This was over, like, the abdomen, and it was like. I mean, they had kind of spa music. They had the weird AI video of art that every doctor's office now has. It's just kind of, like, supposed to be a serene scene, but you know that it's nowhere in reality. Oh, you haven't?

[A]

No.

[C]

I mean, it's not relaxing to look at, because, you know, it's not. It's like the computer's idea of Sorrento or whatever. But they did have music playing, and the gel they put on you is very warm. So if you can, like, ignore just the underlying dread and the unknown about what could be wrong with your body. Yeah, it was kind of a nice experience. Although they had two different technicians do it. Like, one did it for a while, and then one took over.

[A]

I don't like that.

[C]

I don't understand what one could know.

[A]

Teacher, student.

[C]

Teacher student.

[A]

You got someone trying to figure it out. Learning on the job.

[C]

Wow, that's probably what was happening? Someone was shadowing for the day. Interesting. Yeah. Because the second one did my bladder and asked me if my bladder needed to be emptied. It didn't, but then she insisted that I empty my bladder so that I had to go into the bathroom and pee while they all sat there in the dark.

[A]

Oh, my God. When I had my ultrasound, similarly, she was like, well, she talked down to me. She was like, you know, it's really important when you go to the bathroom, you completely empty your bladder. And I was like, well, I thought I had bitch. And that really stuck with me. And I go, am I. Am I cutting out too early?

[C]

How. I mean, you would have to cut out so early for that to be noticeable.

[A]

But I guess, like. Yeah, it's like, what? There's. I don't know.

[C]

I feel like most people.

[A]

I'm not, like, I'll save a little for later.

[C]

Yeah. A little treat, little snack for the toilet.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know, but it haunted me.

[C]

That's a really weird thing to say. I know. I don't understand. I can't imagine going into a. Especially in a doctor situation and not just filling it up or, you know, emptying it out.

[A]

I've had. I have pee anxiety or like. Like, I've had to have. You know, when you give the sample, the doctor. I'm hanging out by the water cooler. Me again. I. I mean, I take four or five minutes.

[C]

I had one of those where I had to go get, like, my. The whole situation, my panels done and had just stupidly peed before.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then just was kind of pacing in the bathroom for 15 minutes.

[A]

Totally.

[C]

And finally was able to produce enough pee that they were like, well, we'll take a look. And it was enough. So you don't need as much pee as you do.

[A]

You don't need to fill the cup. And a lot of. There's a lot of confusion about that. You don't need to fill the cup.

[C]

It doesn't need to be overflowing.

[A]

It's almost just like, I think, half an inch.

[C]

Just a couple little. Well, not drops.

[A]

But yeah. Yeah. A squirt.

[C]

A squirt. So I learned that. That was a good lesson to learn, I suppose. But it's terrifying when you can't do that. And you think, well, now what am I? I have to hang out at the hospital for?

[A]

No. And you think of them mocking you and. Yeah. I don't like it.

[C]

They're all having a laugh.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

The other thing I did this week was gamble Which I haven't done in at least a decade. And never. Have you ever gambled.

[A]

It just doesn't take from me. I don't really like games. I don't really. I don't know. I did. And this is a brag. Where was I? I was at some casino once, and I truly.

[C]

What's the thing where it's the big roulette.

[A]

Yeah. And I literally was. I was like 45 black or whatever, and it landed on it.

[C]

How much did you win?

[A]

150 bucks. I go, that's it.

[C]

See, for me, that would be the beginning of a Nintendo 10 grand. That would be an electric shock to me. Well, I was kind of like $150 for free. Yeah. Are you ever tempted to say roulet?

[A]

Roulet.

[C]

I sometimes I'll see that and just read. But I think it's roulette.

[A]

I don't. French never got in for me. I don't know how it works.

[C]

Did you french in high school?

[A]

Spanish.

[C]

Spanish, yeah, I took french. What a waste of energy. Only to be confused about gambling. Yeah. His performance. I'm not a big gambler either. Jim likes to gamble. But I've demanded he not gamble since we basically began dating. And we were in palm springs, and unfortunately, we just had too much time. And he asked very nicely. And so I thought it through and set down some ground rules and said, I will be in control of every time.

[A]

Totally gamble. Hit a max.

[C]

Yes. And he said, I'm only going to take out 200 and I'll give you 20 slot machines.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And I was like, well, who cares? It'll at least give me something to do. But then I kind of learned that I don't really even know how to operate a slot machine, which feels like it should be pretty easy.

[A]

Is this crank more?

[C]

You're not using the crank. There's all the buttons.

[A]

You don't even get the crank anymore.

[C]

I was tempted to, but then I was like, what if someone sees me try to use the car? All of these pro gamblers around me. Uh. So I was up by $2 at one point and then gambled it all away because. Well, I gambled $9 away because I again, didn't know how to use a slot machine and gambled too much.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There was a woman having the time of her life. She had a little dog in a purse. She had her own glass of wine that she was pouring.

[A]

Yeah. Doing it sober is bizarre. Who's sober? Gambling?

[C]

I guess a lot of people, actually.

[A]

No, I know. I was Gonna say a lot of people, but who are really addicted.

[C]

Oh, right, yeah. They're just like smoking completely. I mean, you have to be very awake because you're up all night.

[A]

Well, I gamble. I guess I am addicted to gambling because that's what. Of course the social media is.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's that you refresh and it's like you might get a cookie or you might not.

[C]

Yeah, it is the exact same.

[A]

It's the same thing. And then they keep you. They keep you enticed by every little feeder drop. Oh, a couple likes. Oh, you got a message.

[C]

It never stops. I'm gonna start smoking while I'm using Instagram.

[A]

I know. Just kind of sit there and smoke.

[C]

I hate it so much. And it's inescapable. How long?

[A]

7 day cleanse right now. Are you really today's day too?

[C]

Wow, what a time to be on a cleanse.

[A]

I've done it sometimes where I do like months, like I go 30 days.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I've done a 60 day.

[C]

How does that feel?

[A]

Immediate relief.

[C]

I was right on this kick probably in like the last week of February 2020. It's like I've finally done it. I've kicked it off. And then we went into lockdown. I was like, well, no, it's over.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll look at this for 48 hours. Forever.

[A]

I don't care.

[C]

And I haven't gotten back out of it. And it's the one thing I don't do is look at it immediately in the morning anymore.

[A]

It's incredible.

[C]

I have to have had breakfast and read something that's not on my phone. Good for you. But how long your seven day cleanse. Why did you pick seven?

[A]

Just a week. Just classic.

[C]

Are you online at all for the next week?

[A]

Email?

[C]

Sure. Email. Okay.

[A]

And I'll let you know. Sure. I'll go on a website, I guess, but I just.

[C]

There are only two of them left. There are not enough websites left. It's so frustrating for me.

[A]

I. I don't have tick tock.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So that I. I knew if I sign up for that, it's over. It's over. I just should. It's over. So I'm elderly, so I just have Instagram.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's really embarrassing to be addicted to Instagram.

[C]

Oh, it's so embarrassing.

[A]

It's like, it's not even.

[C]

It's like, you know, it's like Facebook at this point. It's essentially like being on Facebook and engaging.

[A]

I deleted my Facebook way back when and then I went back On. Because I wanted to do Marketplace.

[C]

It's the Marketplace. It gets you every time.

[A]

And I had to do huge things. I had been off for 10 years, maybe more. And it was such a thing to get back in. I finally had to, like. I got back into my account to see the people that are still. It was really. I was like, they're still here. And it's the same figures. It's the same string. Strange people. And like, my. My wall. And it's like, happy birthday for, like, the last 10 years.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Who were just like. And. And I have to say, I was like, seeing people go, this person's dead. This person's married. This person. I mean, it was crazy.

[C]

That's like going into a haunted house.

[A]

I couldn't believe it.

[C]

Did you look at, like, your most recent message or post from a friend? Like, what was the last thing somebody.

[A]

I didn't. I saw some messages and it was all just very banal there. Wasn't it just. But it was a strange thing of like, and I should leave Instagram tomorrow and never return. And then you go back in 10 years and you go, oh, look, I. Instead, I was living my life for 10 years. Cause I go back, I open the Facebook room. You guys are still in here, clanging against the walls. Like, this is my big problem.

[C]

Because there are people on Facebook I'd like to, you know, spy on.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They're like. That's the sort of person I do want to see how they're, like, behaving on the Internet. And unfortunately, I'm not on there anymore. And I know that they're just mutating.

[A]

It's very strange on there. It's like, everyone's like. It's like my fishing trip. Like, my daughter's engaged, which is kind of sweet. There's also wholesome out of touchness.

[C]

Yeah, there's. I feel like there's probably less careerism on Facebook.

[A]

Definitely. Well, no, you're not on there to get work.

[C]

The only. Like, unless you're trying to sell supplements or like, your whatever's filling your garage at the moment. That MLM type sales, I didn't get back on. I used my sister's account to get into the Marketplace.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

I was talking to somebody about Marketplace recently and why it's like overtaking Craigslist and we couldn't come to any conclusion. Is there. I feel like I still will just go to Craigslist.

[A]

Craigslist. I know. I used to be really. I used to be on there. I haven't in a minute.

[C]

It's still the same website.

[A]

Ms. Connections is gone though. That's so sick.

[C]

It is.

[A]

Oh, it's been gone for like, probably 15 years.

[C]

What a shame. Why did they get rid of it?

[A]

Maybe not 15 years, but a long time.

[C]

Did something dangerous happen?

[A]

No, I'm sure, but I think it was just like. They were like, this is not a sex website, you know, or something. I'm sure it was that fascinating. I posted a misconnection once. This is an explosive story. I'm premiering it on the podcast. I don't think I've ever talked about this on air. And I reserve the right to repeat this on my podcast. I posted a missed connection. I want to say. I mean, this is 15 years ago. I know. I just threw out that number pre.

[C]

It being blocked from the website or deleted.

[A]

And I was living in New York City at the time, and I used to constantly look at missed connections. For those of you who don't know, it was so sweet. It'd be like, I was on the 6 train uptown at 9:30. You were reading this book. We were looking at each other. I would love to get coffee, whatever. Really cute stuff. And I was in my apartment, I was living alone at the time. And I started to feel dizzy in a way that scared me. 911 dial immediately. 911-911. And then I'm talking, and they're like, hi. I'm like, hi. I. I feel dizzy. And they're like, okay, you know, sit down, whatever. Is there anyone around? No. I live alone. Immediately as I'm talking to her, I'm actually okay. I start to resume. I go, you know what? I'm okay. She goes, we've already dispatched paramedics.

[C]

They have to.

[A]

And then the speed at which I still don't understand how they get in. Do they have like a universal key? Like, how did they get in?

[C]

They got into the building.

[A]

I'm not kidding. It felt like moments later, I hear. I open my door. Up the stairwell comes three pyramid. And I was like. And I go, sorry, sorry. I think I'm actually okay. They come in. And I was just like, I mean, I feel weird, but, you know, who doesn't? You know, we all feel weird, right? I start. And they're like, so you keep saying you feel weird. We're gonna have to take you in. I was like, no, please, please, no. And. And I was like, I want to do the ambulance ride, but 700 bucks, whatever.

[C]

Of course, it's very expensive.

[A]

So I was like, no, please. Just like, I'm okay. I really am okay. So they sit with me for a second. They're like, oh, I remember I had a stack of posters of, like, postcards for my comedy show at the time. I go, you guys like comedy? Come on down. You know? And they're so. And of course, one of the paramedics was cute.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

And I'm sure there was no connection. And then. So they leave. I posted a misconnection for the paramedic.

[C]

Any response?

[A]

Of course not. I don't think. I think the energy was in one direction and then.

[C]

Well, but you probably felt it because the paramedic is supposed to care.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

They're supposed to give this, like, feeling of safety and, like, you're going to be okay. And who can resist that?

[A]

And I'll never forget because I, you know, felt woozy afterwards. I remember I walked a few blocks to a restaurant, got a veggie burger. Felt all better. I was hungry.

[C]

You were your blood sugar. That's why you were so cranky with the paramedic.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I'm hungry.

[C]

What's a paramedic's uniform? I'm trying to picture that. It's not like, scrubs. Is it a jumpsuit?

[A]

Was it a fireman? Yeah, it was just like, pants. I don't know.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Maybe it's like a dark pant and a T shirt. Right? That's a good look. I mean, that's just a good streetwear.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

Wow. And no response. I wonder where he is now. Is a. Is an ambulance, right? $700? Is that what we think?

[A]

I don't know. It fluctuates with inflation. I think at the time, the number 700 was burned into my head.

[C]

Right. Anneliese, would you look into that? Because I actually.

[A]

I mean, President Zay, how much is that, the novelty?

[C]

$700. I mean, unless they find out.

[A]

Take a ride.

[C]

Yeah, I wouldn't mind a ride. $700. I could get the community to reach out and, like, pitch in for me to ride in an ambulance.

[A]

Right now in New York City, it's $900.

[C]

900. I mean, that's not that much. Inflation wise. That's. That's been pretty steady. You know, you look at a price of eggs.

[A]

That's so crazy. Throwing a carton of eggs and we're talking.

[C]

Wow, that's wild. Yeah. I. Did you. Did you ever see anything that felt like it might be a misconnection pointing to you?

[A]

No, no, no. Next question. I don't think so.

[C]

I feel like that's got to happen pretty often, though. People are like, well, this could be me. And then they're reaching out to the person and bothering them.

[A]

It's not me. Yeah, it wasn't you.

[C]

Have you ever been in an ambulance?

[A]

No.

[C]

No, no. My question for me.

[A]

Yeah. Where's wood?

[C]

Oh, my God. This is all fake wood. That we're surrounded. This is fake Marvel.

[A]

Okay. Is this fake wood? Yes, that's wood. That's wood.

[C]

That's wood.

[A]

I knocked on it.

[C]

Particle board.

[A]

Honey, that's wood.

[C]

Okay, then we're fine. We're absolutely fine. Limu Emu.

[B]

And Doug, here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[C]

Uh, limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[B]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[C]

Liberty. Liberty.

[B]

Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through November 4, shop the annual beauty event and save $5 when you spend $25 on select beauty products. Shop in store or online for items like Dove Body Wash, Native Body Wash, Cetaphil gentle skin cleanser, Dr. Squatch body wash, Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel, Dial Liquid Hand Soap, and Olay Body wash. And say $5 when you spend $25 or more. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Hey, everyone. Ed Helms here.

[C]

And hi, I'm Kal Penn, and we're.

[B]

The hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[A]

You know what? I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth.

[B]

Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that, but are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett.

[C]

Here.

[B]

Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

Are you superstitious like that? Are you really? I am. That is the one thing I do.

[A]

I. I knock wood and spilled salt. I'll go. I'll do that.

[C]

You will?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What are you supposed to do that for?

[A]

Just like being cursed, I guess.

[C]

Somebody curses you and he throws it.

[A]

Oh, if you spill salt, then you have to throw it over your left. It's either left or right shoulder. I do both because I never checked.

[C]

I didn't know this. Yeah.

[A]

If you spill salt. Actually, it's weird you bring it up because today a little salt, like I lost control of the shaker a little bit. Someone on my hand, I go, does that count? And I just kind of. Yeah.

[C]

Wow. I don't know that I've ever spilled salt. And salt is a thing. You're like.

[A]

You're supposed to spill it constantly.

[C]

Yeah, that's the point of the entire shaker. Interesting. Well, I'm not going to start now. I'll just keep knocking on wood and.

[A]

Yeah, you're fine at this point.

[C]

Whatever. What else has been going on in your life?

[A]

Oh, what's going on? Well, I saw a ghost.

[C]

You saw a ghost?

[A]

Kinda.

[C]

Where?

[A]

Well, here's what I'll tell you. I had a ghost. I was staying in Bend, Oregon.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Spooky haunted town, apparently. But I. I was there for two nights. I had a show, okay. And I went to this place.

[C]

I was like.

[A]

And by the way, I'm not a ghost person. I'm not people.

[C]

No one is until they've seen.

[A]

And I'm very like, I don't want to see them. But I went to this room. The point is, fell asleep, middle of the night, eyes open, like, oh, no, I woke myself up. Listen, what I'm gonna try to say, it was weird, creepy stuff. I'd never get. Nightmares, rolling nightmares, lights going on, really fucking weird stuff. And I was scared, like, waking up, which is. I travel alone constantly. I'm not like, afraid in the night. I was awake, like, arms crossed, like, really freaking out. Moved rooms. Okay. Next day, scared. I'm sorry to say this word. And the energy. Scared. Like, I was like, I'm scared in this room.

[C]

Like, this is off.

[A]

I'm gonna just cut forward and say, found out today. Found. Google reviews, people saying this place is haunted.

[C]

When you spoke to the hotel staff, did you say, I think my room is haunted or did you say the.

[A]

So I was too scared to say it there. Cause I had another night left, right? And I changed my flight to like 7am That I wanted to get out of there. I was like, I don't want to. The whole place. I was like, this is like a bad place. I don't like the energy. Again, the hotel Was well run. Everyone was sweet. But so I eventually then when I got back, I called the hotel and I was like, this is really funny, but has anyone ever talked about, like, it being haunted? And the guy I spoke to was like, sweet young guy. He's like, I've actually only been here three months. So I was like, oh. But then he talked to him and he goes, well, when I got my first tour, they did tell me like, oh, this is an area of the hotel where people kind of and report stuff. I was like, what? So, yeah. And then since then, I've seen a Google review that said, do not stay here. It's haunted.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And then another person who said, my partner woke up in the middle of the night screaming, help. And then walked to like a window.

[C]

And was like, is there any theory about where the, like the spirit came from? Like a murdered woman or.

[A]

I, of course, did have visions. I saw a couple. And I'm not gonna get into it here. That's something that I'm working on privately, but I'm not a ghost person. And I said, don't. I don't want to see you. And I said that out loud. No, I'm not open.

[C]

See, this is where I. You and I differ. Yeah, I would.

[A]

I mean, I feel you want to go in.

[C]

I would be so thrilled. It would be some proof of something to me.

[A]

It's just. I don't know, I'm scared to see the conjuring.

[C]

Thoughts?

[A]

Do I want to see the conjuring? Post this? Because I. I have.

[C]

Have you seen any of the conjuring?

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay, how many are there?

[A]

Like five of them?

[C]

There are at least six.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Lily Taylor, Patrick Wilson and Vera.

[A]

Oh, she's very ghost.

[C]

Yeah, they're very farmiga.

[A]

You know what I want to see?

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I want to rewatch the Others starring Nicole Kidman.

[C]

I love the Others. That's one of the all time ghost movies. Yeah, it's like, it's not really a horror movie. It's not in theaters.

[A]

Theaters in New York, I want to say.

[C]

That was a big one where they, you know, like the ad campaign spoiled the whole thing. They were like. And the twist ending, it's just like. Just let me find out that something turns.

[A]

Those were the olden days when trailers were four minutes long and they just showed you the whole movie. Yeah.

[C]

I appreciate it. No, I love the Others. I love the haunting of Hill House. Or it's just the haunting. Have you ever seen that? The night. I think it's like.

[A]

I think I have seen that.

[C]

It is terrifying.

[A]

That's a scary one.

[C]

It's genuine. Yeah. It's really just like 6 cents scared me. Of course, I think that would probably.

[A]

Sensitive with ghost stuff.

[C]

And I'm. When a child actor is good in a movie, I feel especially scared because I feel like that's a. You feel the vulnerability or something.

[A]

Like, well, they're too close to the spirit world already.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

The child actors are already like of the, of another world. And they're like child actors to me are. They prove that reincarnation is real. And I'm like, that's some like 55 year old actor who's now 12 and is like, here's my big shot.

[C]

That is the, the tap dancing of it.

[A]

Yeah. Shirley Temple, like, or, or just any of these kids. Any of these kids on. And if you, if you work in, I'm sorry to say in Hollywood, you know, every now and then you see one of these kid actors. Yeah. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, no, I'm good all the way to lunch. It's like you aren't 12, you're 52.

[C]

When you feel the trained networking, like the parents like hammering that into the kid, that's. That's the saddest feeling in the world.

[A]

Jacqueline Novak, this is her idea, so I can't steal it, but she said children should not be allowed in movies. Adults should play children.

[C]

That's a great idea. And I've heard somebody else and I unfortunately can't credit them, they said that's the one use of AI that makes sense.

[A]

Right, right, right. Get the kids out.

[C]

All children in movies should be AI Why not?

[A]

You're taking your kids to movie set.

[C]

What's wrong?

[A]

What are you doing? It's so crazy.

[C]

We've just seen case after case after case. It's like you think you're gonna be one that your child escapes. How horrible it is.

[A]

What is this? Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, they are, they are the exception.

[C]

But they went through it.

[A]

They went through it and now they have the row and they've done an incredible job and they snuck out of the public eye. They have secret. They have private lives. Everyone else dead or near death.

[C]

Yeah. Pretty much hanging by a thread. It's such a small pool where it's like, oh, now they're just an adult and they can live their life.

[A]

Such a small pool.

[C]

And they have to. I feel like their child acting career really has to fizzle out pretty quickly in order for them to be like, yeah. Then they like end up in a real middle school or what have you, rather than learning in some unit on.

[A]

Set from Kieran Culkin, another success story.

[C]

Oh, he's a fantastic success story, but it's really rare. And I'm sure he went through it.

[A]

I'm sure.

[C]

Well, actually, he kind of just had a lot of tasteful choices the entire time.

[A]

Yeah. Well managed. Well managed talent.

[C]

That's a family that knows they had another child that went through it.

[A]

They probably said, let's strategize on this one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's be take our slow and steady wins the race.

[C]

He came out on top. He absolutely came out on top. Well, I feel like there's something else we should talk about.

[A]

Okay, let's see.

[C]

It's something I don't want to talk about.

[A]

Oh. What?

[C]

I was excited to have you here on the podcast today, Kate.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Until I thought, Kate will come by, we'll have an absolutely fantastic conversation. Nothing will go wrong.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then we'll move on with our days. Things are hard enough already.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So you know the podcast is called I said no gifts. And so I was a little surprised when you kind of forced your way in here holding what I assume is a gift.

[A]

Well, I haven't seen you in a while.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

So I felt like it was only appropriate after so much time had passed.

[C]

Right, right. Okay. Well, that's a nice way to go about this. Yeah. And it's not too big and it's in kind of a velvety looking bag. How can I resist? Should I open it here on the podcast?

[A]

I mean, why not? I don't. Why not? Let me. Just a little something.

[C]

Just a little something.

[B]

Limu Kimu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug Limu.

[C]

Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[B]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com.

[C]

Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty Savings.

[B]

Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through November 4, shop the annual beauty event and save $5 when you spend $25 on select beauty products. Shop in store or online for items like Dove Body Wash Native Body Wash, Cetaphil gentle skin cleanser, Dr. Squatch body wash, Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel, Dial Liquid Hand Soap and Olay Body wash. And save $5 when you spend $25 or more. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Hey, everyone. Ed Helms here.

[C]

And hi, I'm Kalpen, and we're the.

[B]

Hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[A]

You know what? I can see you, Esme. Mr. Darcy, you got a little Colin Firth.

[B]

Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that, but are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett.

[C]

Here.

[B]

Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

Ooh, this is a material that is hard for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What is cheap?

[A]

It's a cheap material. It's poor man's velvet.

[C]

Yeah, it's.

[A]

I want an emergency.

[C]

What do you. Is that velveteen? Is that what?

[A]

Velvet? It's below velveteen.

[C]

Is velveteen cheaper Velvet?

[A]

I think it goes velvet. Velveteen, and then whatever that is.

[C]

Okay, well, I'm gonna open it here. Well, that sounds nice. Okay, we're pulling it. Oh, my God. What? I mean, I'm actually not entirely sure if this is real tin fish or, like, a gag tin fish.

[A]

Another element of this, which is kind of crazy. Doesn't it look like one's missing? It hasn't been opened.

[C]

Yeah, it looks like so.

[A]

No, no, no. Here's what's so. So. I. I get this. I go, wait. And I said to my partner, I go, did you take a chocolate? They go, no. And then I know it's completely sealed. It's never been opened.

[C]

So this is just poorly or.

[A]

I think something happened.

[C]

This is limited edition.

[A]

A ghostly removal of a sardine.

[C]

I don't want to get off this topic, too. I want to come back to this, but this reminds me of a time you were in Ireland in a hotel.

[A]

My God, you're right. Yeah, I've had a couple encounters.

[C]

What happened then? Can we. Do you mind talking about that for a minute?

[A]

This was. I want to remember. No, I want to remember this. This is the golden age of Twitter, where you ranked. It was literally you, Megan Abraham, and Rob Delaney, and you three were smoking cigars, and everyone was, please retweet. Can you please get a Follow Friday?

[C]

Look who's talking.

[A]

No, you were talking you guys were the. I remember I was working. I was an assistant. I was working for this woman. I was her assistant. I was mad at my job. I had to do, like. I was, like, talking to her content. Oh, I had to do, like, Excel. Like QuickBooks.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

And I would get. And then she started to realize I didn't know what I was doing with, like, the tax stuff. I was like. And then the accountant was like, what's your. Like? They uncovered that. I had no idea what I was doing.

[C]

That's entirely on them.

[A]

But I completely. But at that job, I would be like on Twitter. And I remember once Rob Delaney retweeted me and I was at work and I was like. It was like.

[C]

It was all about to turn around.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, here we go. I was in Dublin doing a comedy festival.

[C]

Okay. And.

[A]

Oh, my God, what was it? Okay, so it was that I left my room to, like, go do something, and I came back and there was a pair of red underwear.

[C]

Oh, men or women's underwear?

[A]

Women's.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Either. On the bed somewhere where I was like, what the fuck? Like, it was like I had been there for. And I remember it was a thing. Cause if I'm staying in a hotel for a few days, I don't get, like, the room turned over. It's, like, kind of rare that I will do that unless I'm staying somewhere really high end and I want to, you know, have the floor.

[C]

You want the whole experience, of course.

[A]

But if it's just kind of a hotel, I'm like, I don't need my bed sheets changed or towels. I'm here for two nights, three nights, whatever. So I knew no one had been in there, but there was this really ostentatious pair of red underwear maybe hanging on the back of the door. Something where I was like. And it scared me because I was like, someone was in here.

[C]

It feels like such an invasion.

[A]

I feel like there was another detail that I'm forgetting because this was 10 years ago. Everything I'm saying is 10 years ago.

[C]

I'm sorry to ask you to just recall this, but, like, for whatever reason, a missing fish made me think of.

[A]

Something, and I called the front desk. I think I. You know what? I bet where this is saved somewhere. I believe I was chronicling it on Instagram stories when Stories had just launched.

[C]

Oh, my God. And I mean, speaking of people reigning supreme, your early days of Instagram stories were unlike anything. They should have shut it down after that.

[A]

You know, I was thinking, I Was like, I gotta get back to stories. I gotta go. I gotta start having fun with Instagram again, getting back into those stories.

[C]

Wow. Well, I'm sorry to bring up the memory, but I. Yeah. That just there was this flash in my mind of a haunted Irish hotel room or something.

[A]

You know, I've had some strange things that happened.

[C]

It's weird to walk into a whole hotel room and something's changed. Like, that you've already been in, because it feels like, oh, I've almost walked into another dimension. This is the same space, but just slightly altered. A real, like. Yeah, one of those picture things. Which thing is different, do you think? This is weird?

[A]

Really quick. At the recent haunting that I had at the hotel, I switched rooms, right. I went into the second room and it was in a different build, different part of the building. I go, okay, I'm safe. This is different. Same room, but like inverted, you know? Like, I was in there and I had spent, like, hours resting. I'll call it in bed. And I leave, I come back, no one's been in there. The digital clock next to the bed was blinking 3:44. It was like 10 o' clock at night. Blinking 3:44am Blinking, blinking. And I go, I would have seen that if the clock had been doing that.

[C]

Did that scary power go out or something? That is. That's just not a thing that, you know, 3:45. Especially after already having a haunting experience.

[A]

At 3:00am that's when I woke up. It's like a cartoon.

[C]

That's what I was going to say. If that's when you.

[A]

I woke up right before 3:00am and I. Because I was like, woke up the whole thing. The lights going off. I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was 3am Just before 3am there's.

[C]

Something you should get in touch with these other people who feel like they've been haunted.

[A]

Well, I actually went to the Google review today, and I want to reach out to him and go, what happened?

[C]

Right. You should start putting the pieces together. He might have another detail.

[A]

I could have a whole separate podcast here. I could have a whole different podcast.

[C]

This is a miniseries. This is a limited series of a podcast. I just woke up screaming because I had a charley horse. You ever had that? Of course, there's no. I mean, I. I'm sure there are worse feelings.

[A]

Oh, it's terrible. Was your foot doing the thing where it's like, yeah, of course.

[C]

Oh, God, it's horrible. And there's no undoing it, really.

[A]

You just scream.

[C]

You're screaming.

[A]

It's so crazy.

[C]

It's horrib feel. Anyway, let's get back to these fish. I'm very curious about this entire situation.

[A]

Well, wanting it back and silly. Okay. Price tag, by the way. $32.

[C]

$32.

[A]

That's pretty expensive.

[C]

That's a.

[A]

That's.

[C]

Damn. That's in the top 10 of this podcast.

[A]

Probably $32.

[C]

That's $8 a fish.

[A]

That's crazy. Okay, so this is a really cute item, right? It really does look like one's missing. I think just they got shooken up.

[C]

It feels like five is a better number.

[A]

I got this in an artisanal gift shop, I want to say last Christmas. Okay. And I was gonna give this to. What's the date? Quick?

[C]

Today is October.

[A]

Nope, wrong.

[C]

Fully wrong month. September 19th. Nope. September. September 18th.

[A]

Technically best if used by September 15th, 2025. So we're still.

[C]

So we're well within best use is a lie. No, of course expiration's a lie.

[A]

I cracked eggs this morning. They. I go, best of your mother, bitch. I'm eating you for another month.

[C]

Do you know how you can tell if an egg is good? If it floats, put it in the water.

[A]

If it floats, it's.

[C]

If it floats, it's bad. If it stands up, it's on the edge. And if it sinks completely, it's good.

[A]

Also, I think with eggs, crack it open. If it smells crazy, then don't use it.

[C]

That's really the ultimate test of anything. If it smells like rotting garbage, don't.

[A]

Put it in your mouth. Okay, so let's get into. I'll say again, $32. Okay, so I got this in an artisanal shop.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I got two of them. And I go, you know what this is? I saw this. And I go, this is a perfect little come over to someone's house for dinner, for the holidays.

[C]

It's got those shiny red packaging.

[A]

I just thought this was cute. I think, actually, you know what I was going to do? And this is really sad. I was going to send this to Amy Sedaris and I never did.

[C]

This feels right up her alley.

[A]

So this is like an Amy Sedaris. Like I was like, I'm going to send this to Amy. It didn't happen. So sorry, Amy. And this is in line with a broader theme in my life, which is gifts that I purchase to give someone never give them. So right now I wanna say for maybe a year, there's been a little child sized parasol propped up next to my front Door. I was gonna give that to my friend's daughter for her birthday. The birthday passed. Now the other birthday just happened. I go, I'm finally gonna give her the parasol. Still haven't. I bought baby. I bought purchased baby clothes for babies. The baby's now five. I can't.

[C]

No, I got add.

[A]

It's a couple things. I need a full time assistant. I mean, how do. How are people sending?

[C]

I really. I forget. Anything that's not like always in my bag will be forgotten.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Anytime I go to the dentist, they say, make sure to bring your mouth guard. It's not coming with me. They're not cleaning that. So it's all up to me. So I understand this feeling of like. Because it's not entirely essential. A friend asked me to buy them sunscreen on vacation. I was in Japan. She's like, the SPF there is really good. This was five, six months ago.

[A]

I did the same thing. Was it Biore Aqua?

[C]

Yes, it's good spf.

[A]

See, I know my shit. I bought Biore Aqua for a friend and never gave it to her.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I went to Japan and as you do gift for friends, gift your friends.

[C]

They're never getting them because they're mostly inessential items.

[A]

It's a sweet thing because you're like, oh, I got a keychain. I'll buy this for my friend. It's a sweet thing, but you gotta go the extra mile and give it to them. And that's where I peter out.

[C]

That's what the circuit complete.

[A]

Like, this was so sweet. And I have this dream of myself. It's. Dear Amy, Merry Christmas. Love you.

[C]

Now, would you have had to taken it with you to New York to give to her or mailed it to her?

[A]

I was gonna mail it.

[C]

See, that's never happened. There's no chance that's happening. Unless there's like some business agreement where they can like write you a bad review.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You're not going to the post office to send those.

[A]

I have a post office that I love. And so I have almost a superstitious attachment to them. Like, that's where I go, Okay. I feel like any other male can't do it, right. And so I could have gone there, but I didn't. And so this ended up in my home. And I've been looking at it and I went, okay. Oh, I can. Dinner party. No, no. And so I was looking at what to bring you today. I wanted to bring you something and I looked, you know, there were some options there Were some skin care. And I thought. And I go, no, this. And this is the promise of a person that I. I hope to be. And I think I could still become that person.

[C]

This feels like a nice step towards $32. My God.

[A]

Price point. I mean, what is that? Let's call it 50.

[C]

Truly 32.

[A]

Let's round up. Let's call it 40.

[C]

It's already. The price is already out of control.

[A]

That not being $9. What would you guess? $9?

[C]

I would have guessed this was 14. Because, you know, it's got the little. It's true novelty.

[A]

Yeah. It's a sweet touch.

[C]

Yeah. And who. God knows what the quality of chocolate is, but maybe it's high. It probably is decent.

[A]

Where's the chocolate from?

[C]

Let's see here. This is truly Spain. This is German. No, I'm not seeing. Let's see. Oh, France. It's probably a good chocolate.

[A]

Chocolate. And the quality of the sardines is.

[C]

Oh, the detail. It's gorgeous. We'll have to post some sort of picture of that. But this is like a real. They're shiny like a sardine.

[A]

They're beautiful.

[C]

You wonder where that. Well, I guess chocolate's shiny, so that works. And now I'm like, should we open these or should this be.

[A]

No, should we try one?

[C]

Oh, and do you know what? I'm noticing there are five in here, so.

[A]

Yeah, one just got dislodged. Yeah.

[C]

So I've. This whole time I thought it was just. But they're just packed in in a way that.

[A]

Packed like sardines.

[C]

Do you think we should open them?

[A]

I'm completely torn.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What do you want to do?

[C]

I think we should open them.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like we should try.

[A]

I could go for a little chocolate.

[C]

Yeah. Let's see.

[A]

Bad girl like me. I think they're. Yeah. Factory sealed.

[C]

Yeah, factory sealed with a piece of Scotch tape. Okay.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Okay. Oh, look at that. Okay, we'll put them back in place. Oh, here's one.

[A]

One got loose.

[C]

And do you know what I'm noticing already is that it's even more. It's the tin is the. I thought they were painted like fish, but it's.

[A]

Oh, look at the detail.

[C]

Look how sweet that is.

[A]

Yeah, that's good solid chocolate.

[C]

Yeah, that's. No, that's good French chocolate.

[A]

You know, there is. First I go. It's the aftertaste. You go, it's French.

[C]

There's none of the chalkiness.

[A]

This is not a CVS Easter Bunny.

[C]

The worst A Russell Stovers. The absolute bottom of the barrel. You know, I mean, a lot of you. United States chocolate now is not chocolate. They have to call it chocolatey chocolate product. Have you read about that yet?

[A]

No.

[C]

I guess there's some international standard, and. Because they're just filling it with flavor and it's wax or what have you.

[A]

Well, isn't that what we. That's what this country's become. It's chocolatey.

[C]

It used to be chocolate.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Used to be pure chocolate, and now it's chocolate product. This is very good. Do you eat. Are you a tinned fish person?

[A]

I kind of. Sometimes I get really. I'm a tuna girl.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But the actual sardines, like the actual fish. A couple times I go, oh, yeah. And then it's scary when it's the head and the spine, and you go, I don't like the spine.

[C]

I don't like the idea that they're. I'm crunching on bones.

[A]

I don't really like that. And I. In Kyoto once, I, of course, did eat, there was a thing where it was like the whole fish, and it's just a little. I'll do it.

[C]

But that's another very American thing, though. We don't want to see the full.

[A]

I want to get the chicken finger.

[C]

Yeah. You don't want. You want it separated from what?

[A]

I don't want the carcass. Yeah, right, right.

[C]

Yeah. I like a tuna. Are you putting anything in or are you eating it?

[A]

Plain tuna?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Lemon all over. I mean, I do a. I'll do a mustard. I mean, I do a real chop them up salad. Herbs, capers.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Red onion, shallots, and what is the.

[C]

You're not putting mayonnaise?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'll jewel them in.

[C]

You have to do a mayonnaise.

[A]

It depends on if I'm in a cut.

[C]

I. I love a tuna with just lemon or whatever, but the mayonnaise, I don't know that I've ever actually even eaten that. I've been circling a. A tuna melt at a restaurant recently.

[A]

Which restaurant? Tuna melts are my favorite at Clark Street Diner. So good.

[C]

It's good.

[A]

I don't know. I just know that it's good.

[C]

I know the. The waiter that I. I mean, there so often she's like, you have to try it. But. And I. We kind of came to an agreement where she's like, you can send something back if you don't like it. And that kind of took some of the pressure.

[A]

No, you can't. This Happens. This is what they love to tell you. If you don't like it, it's a cocktail thing. Because I'll have a cocktail at a restaurant. I go, oh, is this. They go, if you don't like it, send it back. I go, now I really can't because now you've gone, door's open. What could possibly be scary about that? So now there's a real gun to my head, and so I can't.

[C]

Have you ever sent anything back?

[A]

Relish in it. All the time. Not all the time. And it's scary, but it's one of the great accomplishments, I think of adulthood, that if I look at my life and I go, what's changed? I can send something back now. And by the way, it's rare and it's an emergency. It's. You have. Something has to be really.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Wrong. I'm not doing. I didn't like this. Of course not. But when's an occasion, it has to be egregious. Like, Like, I did not order this because I used to just even suck that down.

[C]

You would do that.

[A]

I got what I got. You know, it was like, I was very. Yeah, I was very. Like, it won't be me. I won't rock the boat. But now I'm trying to think of a good send back I had. Is there anything? Yeah. When do I send it back? Oh, actually I ordered a disgusting steak at a disgusting restaurant.

[C]

Can you name the restaurant?

[A]

No, no, here's the thing. I went to a place where you go for happy hour cocktails and like French fries.

[C]

Big mistake.

[A]

And it was a huge thing. And I go, I'm gonna get the filet mignon. And it was so expensive. Everything else, it was like, Happy hour burger is $10.

[C]

Right? Right.

[A]

Happy hour fries are $5. I go, I'll get the $45 filet mign. A mistake. But I was hungry and I was like, I don't. I just. It came and I said, medium, okay? Cuz I go, I'm not doing medium rare here. It arrives rare. And it tasted like dog meat. It tasted. I was like, this is a frozen smart and final steak from three years ago. I mean, I was like, this is not good. And as a. As a result, I barely touched it, but I sliced in. I go. And so I said. I was like. And the guy was so slam. It's a happy hour joint. He's like, what? They're already like, steak. Like, it was crazy for me to order a steak. I ordered a steak and then I went Sorry to do this, but it was just so rare, Right. And he looked at. Kind of went back to the thing comes back, dog meat on the plate. And so I had to send that back. And. Yeah, but that was the last time.

[C]

So they brought it back, another steak.

[A]

Back to you, the same steak, and you had to.

[C]

And you didn't eat it. You just said, I took a bite.

[A]

My friends had a couple bites, and we all agreed that it was like.

[C]

That'S the big problem when you send something back and they're like, well, we'll bring back the same thing, but because there might be multiple elements you don't like about it, and the thing that you're sending it back for, they'll bring it back. And that's gone. But now you still don't like. It's bad. I just send back a steak. I've never done that before. But I realized that within the last two years or so, like when I was a waiter and people, unless they were truly horrible and were sending everything back, it was like I didn't care.

[A]

Well, that's the thing that I always. I talk. I go, I'm being lovely. I'm being polite. I'm not going to.

[C]

What the fuck is this?

[A]

Like, I. I'm being. I am so sorry.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And it's. It's not egregious. If I'm sending it back, I'm sending it back for a reason.

[C]

You want to get the thing you pay for. That's like, I was a. I had had maybe 20% of the meal, and I was thinking, am I just going to sit here for the rest of my meal and not enjoy this and then pay for it? I can't do that anymore. It's not fair.

[A]

We're too old.

[C]

Yeah. If an ingredient is missing, I'll let them know.

[A]

And if it's an ingredient's missing. What do you mean?

[C]

Well, okay, now it's gonna sound like I send everything back, but this is. I have to say, it's very rare.

[A]

Your head is just a tuna melt. Now I'm hungry. I want a tuna. I just. Look at me. All I see is a Clark street tuna melt.

[C]

That company owes me some sort of compensation.

[A]

You talk about them all the time.

[C]

Although I found out recently that their T shirt they sell is $40, which I wasn't planning on buying one in the first place, but that feels like.

[A]

A lot for me. Yes, yes.

[C]

But people buy a T shirt. Everybody needs a little extra money. Sure.

[A]

Okay. Missing ingredient.

[C]

I ordered a club, and it didn't come with bacon.

[A]

Well, that's obscene.

[C]

You know, that's a. There are only a few ingredients.

[A]

What did they say?

[C]

They were lovely about it.

[A]

We're so sorry.

[C]

Not only did they take it back, but they clearly remade the. This to me. I was like, well, you can just go back and just open it up and throw it. No, the whole plate had been redone.

[A]

I feel like Clark street. You're getting high quality sourdough. That's why the cheddar dough. I want that cheddar on there.

[C]

Fantastic. Delicious. And their Cobb salad. I don't know if you've ever had that.

[A]

No. Which Clark Street? Because there's two. Right.

[C]

This is the one.

[A]

The old Cafe 101.

[C]

Yeah, the old Cafe 101.

[A]

Cafe 101 used to have. I used to go there in high school. Can you believe that?

[C]

It's been around for a long time.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not that old.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I used to go there. To go there. They had a waffle brownie sundae. Oh, and this is something that I mourn. I mourn the loss of this brownie batter in a waffle maker.

[C]

Sit with that.

[A]

Sit with that.

[C]

That's a genius idea, especially for a diner.

[A]

Waffle ice cream, hot fudge. Me, 16 years old, high as a kite there with my girlfriends being bad.

[C]

That is such a good idea, because then they don't have to worry about the brownie getting stale.

[A]

Yeah. Crispy edges. Waffle batter in a bowl.

[C]

Clark street, reach out.

[A]

I mean, can they get that back on the menu?

[C]

They have a waffle maker there.

[A]

I have a clerkshree announcement.

[C]

What?

[A]

I went there. I have a dear friend. He would love. He's fabulous. Love you, Lauren. He. He goes there a lot.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I went with him once, and he has his whole thing there. He has his. His women.

[C]

Oh, sure.

[A]

He's got this relationship with the waitress. She was selling this oil that she made called abundance oil.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And it was like magic, you know, it was like, wear this. And like, abundance.

[C]

Right, Right.

[A]

I was going through a hard time. I go, give me. I need a bigger bowl. You know, I bought it, smelled fabulous. Oh, this is great. Little roller. I had it in my purse for a couple days. I was wearing it. Something happened. Not blaming the bottle, but shattered in my purse. I went into my purse to get my keys pulled out.

[C]

Blood again.

[A]

It wasn't that bad, but Cut your hand over. I was out of Hardy, actually. And I was fishing around, and I go, ah, blood. I had to ask a bartender for a Band aid.

[C]

That's broken glass stuck in your hand.

[A]

A week or so later, I meet my current partner. Partner. Okay, we'll take that again. A week or so later, I meet my current partner. Can you imagine if it's actually edited weak or so later? But I just mean, is that the abundance oil. Whoa.

[C]

Did it work? And I feel like the symbolism of. It's rich.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Something blood and the passion. That's amazing. And was. I assumed there was no real connection there. It wasn't like they were like, oh, I noticed that scar on your hand.

[A]

Yeah. No, no. But I just. Later I go, huh, maybe the abundance will work. I gotta get more.

[C]

That's very like witches brew where you have to put drop of blood into the. The brew and it creates whatever you need. Wow. Anyway, I got to go get some more oil and I'm sure your purse smells wonderful now.

[A]

It did. What purse was it at the time? You know us girls with our purses. The purses recommend they. They become a certain era of your life. That's the air of life of that purse. And then you move on. And that purse, you got to just get rid of it.

[C]

That bag right there, I've been carrying around for I think three years. It's a nightmare. And I can't commit to a. A new bag.

[A]

I know exactly what bag you're going to upgrade to.

[C]

What?

[A]

I have a couple ideas for you.

[C]

I need. I genuinely need one. This has holes in it.

[A]

Okay. I know a bag. I don't know why I'm keeping it secret at cada. Sorry. But they are friends. But they're fabulous. Fabulous.

[C]

That's a good bag. Okay.

[A]

They just. New season. I just saw the show at Fashion Week. They came out with a new. They have a new bag that is so fabulous. It's amazing. It's not going to be cheap, sweetie, but it's going to last you for the rest next 10 years.

[C]

That's what I need because I'm not someone who's like a constant turnover.

[A]

You need a fat. You need a real bag.

[C]

I just need a bag that's like, you know, I can use and it's.

[A]

I have one of their other ones. It's like my tour bag fits a lot.

[C]

Do they have any inner pocket?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I need just for my keys.

[A]

Yeah. I think there's always every. A serious bag is gonna have the obligatory inner zip. The rest of it's just keys and then swamp.

[C]

Right. Just garbage that I have to fish through.

[A]

I think you should get that One in, like, navy, in a. Like an army green.

[C]

Okay, this is good to know because I've been online for at least six months.

[A]

I wonder if you'll think it's, like. If it's, like, a little too femme for you, but it's not.

[C]

Who cares?

[A]

No, I know. I think that you'll be into it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm very curious about it in black, too.

[C]

See, this is why you're here.

[A]

Look at this ad.

[C]

This is why you're.

[A]

Look at this ad.

[C]

Clark Street. These companies, why are they not being compensated?

[A]

I know.

[C]

Well, is there anything left we have to say about this fish?

[A]

I think this was really nice. Glad we ate it.

[C]

Tastes wonderful. I wonder if the listener hates does that. Like, the soft pressure of tooth on chocolate. Seems like a nightmare, but that's what you get.

[A]

Look at this molded into that. Look at the. Look at the scales on that. That's a high quality item.

[C]

And now I have a couple for decor, which is so lovely. Those can just kind of, you know, rot.

[A]

It's almost a little toddler. You could go, hoo, hoo. Like, they'd like that. You could taunt a child with one of the little sardines.

[C]

I'm always looking for new ways to taunt children. Well, I think we should play a game.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

We're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse. But I need a number between 1 and 10 for you. Okay. I have to do. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microphone.

[A]

I have a podcast called Poog. You can find us at Poog Podcast. Legally, we had to be Berlant and Novak. Stuff's being. Things are being shooken up over at Pooh headquarters. But the point is, please come over and listen to the podcast. And of course, you can find me at Kate Bertlant. Kateberland.com for touring tickets. Yeah. Okay.

[C]

One I'm nearly after for hire.

[A]

Someone described me as a writer the other day. I go, fuck you. You saying I'm ugly? I don't like that. I'm an actress. Hello, comedian. Of course. Someone was introducing me. I go, she's a great writer.

[C]

I go, that's a weird thing to name you first.

[A]

Like, writer.

[C]

Do I give up? Writer.

[A]

That's trans my pen.

[C]

I would say singer first. Thank you before I say writer. Not that you're not a great writer, but it's like, I think you're known.

[A]

Thank you. Seven people. She's a great Writer.

[C]

Hair stylist. Dentist.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Garbage man.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

All these things you could.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Writer.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Was it someone who knew you well?

[A]

Apparently not. No, not someone I know well, but someone I know enough to go writer.

[C]

I feel like, whatever. Good for them. That shakes you up.

[A]

Actress.

[C]

That makes you reevaluate what you're doing. Okay, everyone, go. So it's back to Pooh.

[A]

Listen, this was a whole drama. It's a big drama in the podcast world. We're on the COVID of Fast Company. I don't know what that is. What's Fast Company?

[C]

That's a great, great question.

[A]

It's, like, burned into my head. I don't know what it is.

[C]

Is it a website? Is it like a. An article?

[A]

Depositoral magazine, I think.

[C]

Yeah. I feel like I always see it, like, almost like I've got deep pockets.

[A]

I would love to do a. I would love to do a. A seminar at Fast Company.

[C]

Who's subscribing to Fast Company? Is it like marketing companies to put on their coffee tables?

[A]

Yeah. Are they like, Fast Company's, like, here are the top businesses of this month?

[C]

Yeah. There's no one sitting at home, like, waiting for the mail to come to get their latest issue of Fast Company.

[A]

I don't know what it is, but.

[C]

It does seem like they have someone working there.

[A]

Someone's there, and they're talking about businesses.

[C]

And your business and companies.

[A]

And I have a business.

[C]

But back to Poog. So, everyone, the podcast continues.

[A]

We know we started in Covid. Started in Covid, and we're just still there.

[C]

We've seen a lot of come and go. We've seen a lot of staying strong, resilient.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. This is how we hit or miss.

[A]

But some of the episodes that hit. So stick around.

[C]

This is how we play Gift or a curse. I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they are a gift or a curse, and why. Great. And I'll tell if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers. First up, this is from a listener named Emily. Gift or a curse? A character quietly yet dramatically takes a pill to let the audience know they are troubled.

[A]

It's a curse.

[C]

Why?

[A]

I don't understand the question. Wait. A person takes a pill.

[C]

A character, like in a TV or movie takes a pill to let the audience know they're troubled.

[A]

Oh, I see. I see. No, it's a gift to the audience to show them. It's character development. It's rich character development.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

I mean, it's cheap writing. But.

[C]

Yeah, I think absolutely.

[A]

I used to love. Actually used to do that Tic Tacs when I was a little kid.

[C]

The pretending feeling in the world for years. Your little pills.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

When you're bored, you get to. It's like there are a few things that kind of were drug coded as children.

[A]

Like tiktoks were huge. And then I loved First Wives Club when I was younger. And stalker Channing in the beginning, she's about to kill herself or spoiler happens in the first scene. So it's fine. But she jumps off the balcony of her apartment building and she has vodka in a little thing and she's like drinking the vodka with like the glass hitting. And I remember doing that like loving, like the woman unhinged. Yeah.

[C]

She poured herself the glass of vodka.

[A]

Before she drinks like one last drink. And then she puts on.

[C]

That's nice.

[A]

She's fabulous.

[C]

Good for her.

[A]

It's a great scene.

[C]

It's absolutely a gift.

[A]

It's a great movie. We don't make them like that anymore.

[C]

We get to see the actor. You know, everyone's take on the pill swallow. Sometimes you just need it spelled out for you that something's wrong.

[A]

Yeah. Actually I sometimes am realizing about myself because I have pills I don't like. Not like I take a ton. I'm actually a little scared of pills. But I've been known to have an emergency Klonopin here and there. But I have a little pill case and I. On a plane, I had a tummy ache the other day and I took something from my tummy and I felt very aware of like opening the pill case in public and being like.

[C]

Like, right. Not that.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, what are they thinking? And I wanted to be like, yeah.

[C]

But everyone gets to guess what's wrong with you.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

And no one at that point, they're gonna be tiptoeing around you for the rest of the flight.

[A]

Well, I was overthinking it. Cause I went, I'm actually, I'm taking this at the end of the flight. That would be weird to take a sleep medication at the end of a flight. That's a great idea.

[C]

I'm gonn drive myself home.

[A]

Exactly. So I thought anyone observing me right now might go, was she taking. Probably don't care. But of course. And so I thought, well, I'm throwing them off the scent.

[C]

What do you take for a stomach gas?

[A]

X. Yeah. Sex. Okay. You know, you're up there.

[C]

I've never prepared. I don't have any pills.

[A]

I have pills at all times.

[C]

I have a whole bag of garbage.

[A]

What are you doing? Because I get migraines chronically, so I always have migraine medication on me. I always have something for the stomach, God forbid. And Advil. God forbid.

[C]

Migraine is that prescription medication. I need that.

[A]

I literally give myself an injection once a month in my thigh. I have them at a really bad lie that frequently. And I'm in a whole battle with my insurance company right now because I'll just say quickly. I've been taking it for years. Changed my life, this medication. Life saving medication, really, when you think about it. And $5. Guess how much it costs now?

[C]

Oh, I can't imagine.

[A]

200, 900.

[C]

Unbelievable.

[A]

Untenable. So I've been literally begging for free samples all over town. I had to pay for it once out of pocket. But who can do that? I mean, that's insane.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, we all know how awful it is. Absolutely horrible. And like, you think about somebody that has the rug pulled out from underneath them and they don't have that with.

[A]

The coupons and everything. I got it down that one time to 700. $700.

[C]

That's the price of an ambulance ride in 2012.

[A]

So, I mean, the chaos continues.

[C]

Oh, that's horrible. And you haven't gotten. Gotten the approval yet?

[A]

Oh, I've been denied. I'm in like my fourth appeal.

[C]

They pulled that on me with some medication monsters.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And there was just. There's nothing you can do.

[A]

No. Anyway.

[C]

Reach out.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Okay, so you got one right. So far, so good for you. Second, this is from an unknown listener, so they must have posted it on some sort of thing we were doing. God bless you. Gift or a curse? Tongue scrapers.

[A]

Okay, so I have a lot to say about this because. Tongue scraper, ostensibly you go, well, that's great. Fresher breath, whatever. Jury's out. Because listen to me, there's. There's two schools of thought, and I have to go deeper into this. Some people think that when you wake up in the morning, you should immediately tongue scrape, brush your teeth, get all that out.

[C]

Right before breakfast.

[A]

Oh, yeah, before coffee, before everything. Cause they think, oh, well, in the night all your shit is caked in there. And then you're eating it, you're digesting it. It's going back in, causing heart problems, plaque, the whole thing.

[C]

Right.

[A]

There's another school of thought. Andrew Huberman taught me this. Yes. I dip in Huberman. He teaches at Berkeley. There's some scary stuff going on there. But there's occasionally somebody makes. I like science, he said, because I listened to one of his episodes about, like, immunity. Because I'm obsessed with immunity, you know, doing what I. We all. You know, we all should be, but touring and whatnot.

[C]

And he.

[A]

One of his little tips, he goes. Something that I do for immune. For immune support every day when you wake up. Bedside water. Swallow.

[C]

Oh. Which is the absolute opposite.

[A]

So I. So I have an announcement. I've been doing that for about six months. I haven't gotten sick.

[C]

Oh, my God. In six months.

[A]

And I've been traveling. I mean, I've been traveling.

[C]

That's a long stretch. I get sick probably once a quarter with something. Wow. And that's so. I mean, there's something about that that the logic doesn't add up. So maybe that's why it works, because I feel like there's nothing worse than a glass of water that you wake up to.

[A]

I don't know what he. I don't know what the science is. There. He goes. He goes, you know, this is kind of a. I don't know what he said about it, but he goes. He goes. People think it's a little gross. He said, it's not like you're literally doing. It's not like you're like.

[C]

It's what's inside your mouth.

[A]

It's just like a. But I started doing that as a habit. Just kind of. And I kind of. I'm kind of going, something's here.

[C]

Well, maybe I'll give it a shim then.

[A]

I heard a horror story yesterday. My friend's friend's friend, suddenly ill, plagued with sickness. Feels crazy going to the hospital. I've never felt worse.

[C]

Help.

[A]

Help. Something. They can't figure it out. They're testing them. They're doing all this stuff. Eventually, Dr. Comes in and goes, tell me about your oral hygiene. That's okay. Well, I'm pretty on top of it. I floss, I brush, blah, blah. When do you floss? When do you brush? They get down to the order. Turns out they think this person has been ingesting plaque and it's doing. Made something go haywire. Sounds crazy. But then I go, well, then, is that what I'm doing?

[C]

I'm right.

[A]

I'm ingesting the flax.

[C]

Fully, 100%, all of it.

[A]

And I'm flossing before bed. And then I go to sleep, right?

[C]

So it's all just kind of floating around in there until morning.

[A]

You want to floss, spit when you're at Night. Well, by the way, who's flossing, going yum, yum, yum, and eating. I mean, you're like spitting it out. But I have another announcement. I'm saving lives. Alcohol free mouthwash. Do not use mouthwash with alcohol.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I've switched over.

[A]

Okay, great. Making sure.

[C]

But I. I just kind of thought, well, why do I need alcohol in my mouthwash?

[A]

But a lot of people think, well, that's what's cleaning you. No, it's the opposite. You're getting rid of these essential something. Yeah.

[C]

It's killing off a bacteria that you don't want to. That's good.

[A]

Too bad for the heart.

[C]

I love when I do something by accident.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow. And I just learned you're not. And just as of today, I've learned you're not supposed to rinse after brushing your teeth.

[A]

Huh?

[C]

You're supposed to spit. Oh.

[A]

The fluoride is supposed to stay on there. Yeah.

[C]

You just spit. Which I tried this morning. It was not. It didn't feel natural in any way.

[A]

Oh, I don't like that.

[C]

I've been, you know, washing out my entire life.

[A]

Me too. I've been washing it out and the.

[C]

Water feels so good.

[A]

I love water after you're brushing. Yeah.

[C]

But apparently that's what you're supposed to do.

[A]

What toothpaste are you into right now?

[C]

I'm using a Colgate with kind of a science. I think I bought this in a four pack at Costco. Kind of a medical looking tube. It's not their traditional, you know, classic like, it's like. It has like almost a doctor certified. Yes.

[A]

I've. I'm really into arm and hammer now. I'll just never go back.

[C]

Baking soda.

[A]

Yeah. Why it the clean the now when I do Colgate or Crest, I'm like, what is this, a trip to the fair? The county fair. Tastes like sugar. It's like, it's like, it's like. Tastes like mint.

[C]

Like it tastes crazy and it's so smooth.

[A]

Doesn't get it clean to me. I need the arm and hammer. I need the micro scrubbers.

[C]

Right. I like that bit of grit.

[A]

Yeah. That little baking soda.

[C]

Yeah. My. I do think we should just narrow it down to like, why Does Colgate have 50 varieties as a company? Just settle on one option.

[A]

Prison of choice. They think that's what you want. You want to go in there and see a wall of options.

[C]

But for me it's just which one is on sale? So they're not going to get me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Tongue scrapers. You're saying.

[A]

I own one sometimes I'll use it, but I need to get more research. Gift. I'll still say it's a gift.

[C]

Curse. Look at all of the evidence you've brought up of it not being effective and even.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.

[C]

I think it's not only. We don't know. The science is out. It seems dangerous. I feel like you could go too far with it. Well, yeah, the horror element of it. The final destination of accidentally pulling your tongue off or scraping the, you know, the surface off your face, threading your.

[A]

Tongue through the hole. It's kind of amazing. You don't see that. More people threading it through and then.

[C]

No, I feel like just brushing your tongue with your toothbrush is enough. Totally waste of money. That's another scam that's just kind of being imposed on us. Whatever. You got one wrong, and that's fine. This final one is from one of our Patreon listeners. Arista. Arista. A R, I, S, T, A. Thank you. I'm sorry, I don't know how to pronounce your name. Gift or a curse. Cutesy fake movie trailers with celebrities that remind you not to talk or text during the movie.

[A]

Well, very rarely are they with celebrities, so I'm a little confused by the question.

[C]

Apparently, they exist.

[A]

Okay, so there's a classic one that I'm sure people have seen that I remember seeing in theaters in, like, high school, my early years. That's fabulous. Which is like a opera. It's like there's, like, an opera performance, and you think you're in the old and old. And then this woman opens her mouth to say. And a phone rings, and then someone's like, oh, no, that's fabulous. Adorable. Love it. No movie stars in that. Those are.

[C]

Characters in great costumes.

[A]

I would actually go as far as to argue. I've never seen a celebrity in a. Please don't talk during the movie. So I'm gonna have to see that. Maybe this person's talking about, of course, the viral Nicole Kidman, amc.

[C]

But she's not asking anyone to do anything.

[A]

No, it's not about that. It's about the power of storytelling. And so I've never seen a celebrity in one of those. So I refus the question. It's a gift, though, because I like that one. Media.

[C]

Yeah. Wrong curves. I've never seen one with a celebrity either. So I'm a little baffled and I'm disoriented, but to me, I don't think we need any of these things because the people who are going to do these things are going to do them no matter what.

[A]

Right?

[C]

So I'm just sitting there being reminded that someone in the theater will be doing that, ignoring what they've been told.

[A]

Have you ever been with someone where they're. I went and saw a movie recently with some friends. One of the friends was talking a little bit.

[C]

Oh, a friend of a friend?

[A]

No, no, my friend.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Who I guess I haven't seen a movie with a long time. Just a little bit. But I was like, oh. Because I'm. I'm.

[C]

Of course that's what you did.

[A]

The most I could ever do in a movie, lean forward. Like the most. Quiet. Something had to be said. It would be sub perceptual.

[C]

And it puts you in a weird position because you're like, well, I don't want to be rude to this person.

[A]

And go, stop talking. You're making me uncomfortable. You can't say it to a friend. Then you're a cop.

[C]

Or I'll just be icy to them. And then I'm like, now they think I'm not fun to be around.

[A]

Or I'm like, can't talk in the movie.

[C]

You can talk through the trailers. I don't care anymore.

[A]

The trailers are communal. That's when you make friends.

[C]

What do we think of this?

[A]

No, that's fun. I had a lot of fun. I actually had a really fun time going to see Weapons. Oh, wonderful, Wonderful. I was in a really good mood. And I was doing major entertainment for the whole theater. I was doing major talk. I was talking about, I'm scared. I'm scared. I was doing a whole thing. Cause I really was scared and talking it all up. And I bonded with some people. I go, you wanna switch seats? I'm too close. I might get scared. I was doing incredible community work. But then once the trailers fade and we're in the movie Bitter Silence, of.

[C]

Course, that's what everyone's there for. And the trailers were there for a half an hour. We're trapped.

[A]

What was I watching? A movie I didn't like. Oh, Wicked. But there was somebody on their phone. Oh, just during the movie.

[C]

Happens all the time.

[A]

And then I see it again, I go, sorry. But I loved Wicked. But the point is, please cast me in anything. But the point is, it just. Okay.

[C]

It's not your cup of tea.

[A]

It's too strong to say I didn't like it.

[C]

It's not your cup of tea.

[A]

It's just that it's not for me.

[C]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

And that's. By the way, still cried. It's not for me. When she's falling through and she sees her childhood self.

[C]

I had to.

[A]

I didn't know it was about. John told me what it was about on the way to the theater.

[C]

Right. I hadn't seen it before either.

[A]

The plot.

[C]

And I'm happy for everyone. Doing everything. Happy for everyone except for this person texting during it. That's half the reason I'll go to a movie is because I know I won't be able to text.

[A]

That's the joy of it.

[C]

Because at home, I will be on my phone. It's impossible to resist looking at my phone while watching. I need to be trapped in a movie theater.

[A]

I know someone.

[C]

Someone's.

[A]

Guess what I just set up before coming to see you today.

[C]

What?

[A]

The light phone.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

Here's another ad. The light phone. Because I have to move away from technology. It's ruining my life. I've donated my brain to science and not for my own gain. It's horrible. It's over. I used to be smart. I'm dumb now. It's actually completely. The light phone is a phone that only has text, maps, camera. You can put music on there. The point is, it's not connected to the Internet.

[C]

Right. Wait. Oh, so it's almost like you put MP3s on there.

[A]

You can't. Exactly. It's like an ipod. You can't download apps, so it's only a phone number. You can text, you can talk. Obviously. Maps. Huge. What else do you really need? And I just set it up before coming here, so I'm gonna have two phone numbers now.

[C]

Oh, so you're keeping your iPhone or whatever. Of course. I gotta. So. But how are you going to operate with these two phones?

[A]

Hello?

[C]

Hello?

[A]

Hold on. Hold. Here's what it's going to be. I'm going to have. I'm going to have like, light phone days. Or I'm going to give my light phone number to people that have to reach me.

[C]

Emergency contact.

[A]

And I'll go.

[C]

How much does a light phone cost?

[A]

It's not cheap. Well, neither is an iPhone, so they have different models. I think this new one's going to run you like 600 for a new life.

[C]

That's half the cost of an iPhone, certainly.

[A]

And by the way, it's fun. It's cute. It's light. Physically light. It's like a square. It's. I'm really excited. I just set it up and I tested it, did the phone number, took a photo. It's like a cute little pic.

[C]

Oh, I want to try one of these.

[A]

And so I'll report back, but I'm convinced it's gonna change my life because.

[C]

I have, you know, like, do not disturb on at all times.

[A]

You don't do anything.

[C]

Well, it does for me. It makes everyone mad at me constantly. Yeah, totally. Even my doctor's mad at me at this point.

[A]

I was texting with my doctor this morning.

[C]

You text with your doctor?

[A]

Love you, Eve.

[C]

Oh, yeah, no, that's too close of a relationship.

[A]

I need the doctor right here. I'm sending pictures. What's this rash? It hurts when I touch this. Help.

[C]

Help. Did you know them prior to the doctor relationship?

[A]

We actually have an amazing relationship, and I'm a powerful manifestor. And I had done an interview, and I guess it was variety, and they were like, what's your goal for the year? Or what's something you want for the year? Right. And I said. And I meant. Meant from the soul. It was authentic. I want a primary care doctor in my network who I like. I met this doctor at a Emmy event. Oh, wow, she's high up there. I go, go, this is great. I need a doctor. We start talking. She's. She's fabulous. She's like, what are you looking for? We talk. She goes, I have some people I can connect you with. She. And then she goes, you know what? I'll be your doctor.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

She is beyond.

[C]

I mean, that's unbelievable.

[A]

And then she. By the way, she texted me today. Apparently, she's a podcast. I'm gonna go on it.

[C]

I lost my last doctor to a podcast.

[A]

Really?

[C]

The last thing I heard, he said he was starting a podcast.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

He's like, well, what is my treatment been?

[A]

And I love her. And it's really. I mean, it's one of the greatest blessings of my life.

[C]

Wow. I wanna manifest something like that. Something I'm dreaming about constantly is someone who cuts hair that has ideas about.

[A]

Oh, what to do with your hair.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Well, that's what you need.

[C]

I love my current barber, but he doesn't, you know, he doesn't bring ideas.

[A]

He has one for you.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I would love for someone to confidently say, this is what you should do.

[A]

Ooh, I have some names for you.

[C]

Okay. That's because it's hard, and it's hard to get any sort of recommendation. Okay, see, there we go.

[A]

I think I've got a guy for you.

[C]

I might be Texting with one of these guys.

[A]

I've got a guy for you. Yeah.

[C]

We have to ask for what we want.

[A]

Yeah. And sometimes, what a beautiful thing to go. I'm in your hands. What do you think?

[C]

Right. Oh. To get another person who. The stakes are not as high for them, relationship wise, than they can say something. They can look at you and say, this is what needs to happen. The best feeling in the world. Really liberating because no one else is going to give you the truth and they don't really see you. If someone's been in your life a really long time, it's hard for them to separate.

[A]

You have to go to children at that point and go, am I ugly?

[C]

They go, yeah, you don't have to ask.

[A]

Then you know it's true.

[C]

Nothing worse when a child starts crying before you've done anything.

[A]

No, just seeing you. Yeah.

[C]

Well, you got two out of no, one out of three.

[A]

I'm fine with it.

[C]

That's totally fine. You were honest with yourself. And what are you going to do? Yeah, let's see. Okay. Now, Annaliese has their own gift or a curse that they're going to present. We each have to speak to it. Annalies, what is it?

[A]

Gift or a curse? Watching a scary movie alone.

[C]

We were just talking about scary movies.

[A]

Really good one. Okay. So I have a complicated relationship to scary movies. I think I like them, but I'm very porous and I'm open and they scare me.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

So I have to time of day going into theaters. Like, for example, my friend who loves scary movies says, like, let's go see the conjuring. And I go, that might be too scary for me. I don't know. So. But I'm open to it. Watching them alone. My partner is tragically, really afraid of scary movies. They're like, no. I've been begging them to watch Zodiac, one of my favorite movies.

[C]

Oh, my God. Maybe my favorite movie movie.

[A]

It's one of the best, one of.

[C]

The most rewatchable movies.

[A]

I agree completely. And they're like, no. And I'm like, respect. They're like, I won't do murder. I won't do sexual violence. I won't do, like possession. Demons. That scares them. I go, what's left?

[C]

Yeah, there's nothing left.

[A]

They can do zombies. For some reason, zombies don't scare them.

[C]

Well, zombies are boring.

[A]

But watching a scary movie alone, I'm gonna go with curse. I think. I think it's not. But I'm on the fence here because I was thinking about actually watching the Conjuring Solo. An old version to gear up for the new one before I go to the grove and shell out.

[C]

Right. And this is going to distract, but I just had this vision of you alone and not watching. This isn't a scary movie, but the idea of you sitting and watching Pirates.

[A]

Of the Caribbean, I've never seen it. It could happen.

[C]

That seems like a very funny thing.

[A]

To me on my couch, just like.

[C]

Like seeking it out and watching it and just being like, wow.

[A]

Be like, well, technology has advanced and it doesn't look that good. So you're saying, okay, I'm actually going to go with. I'm going to go with gift. Even though my instinct is curse. And we'll see if that pays off.

[C]

I. I also am going to say gift. And I. It's an extreme. I've done it before. And I'll say it's a very hard thing to do because it's. The fear factor is through the roof when you're alone. But I think that's a. That's how you maximize what the movie is.

[A]

And it could be fun. Like, I'm actually picturing myself on my couch with a blanket.

[C]

Like, oh, it's fantastic. I tried watching. I've had several failures where I tried watching the Strangers Alone. Once I put it in a 12:45am It's a home invasion movie from a few years ago. 08 maybe at this point you should see this movie. It's one of the most terrifying home invasion.

[A]

For me.

[C]

That movie I watched, you know, I knew what it was. And I watched up until the point when there was a knock at the door on in the movie and I said, oh, okay, I'm not watching this anymore.

[A]

That's amazing that it scared you that much. I saw like, a fake clickbait thing that was like seven or seven out of nine. People couldn't. Wouldn't be seven out of nine. It's probably seven out of 10. But it was like, people couldn't finish this movie on Netflix. Was like, Netflix officially says that 90%.

[C]

Of people marketing tactic. It was scare o meter. What movie was it?

[A]

Don't know. Something I'd never heard of. Clearly they were trying to.

[C]

They couldn't finish it because it was so terrible.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[C]

I hate this movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, I think it's a gift. I. I love watching scary movies with people, but I. If I really want to be terrified, I have to do it alone. Annalise, what is the answer?

[A]

Did you see Weapons?

[C]

Oh, I loved Weapons. I saw in a theater, so it wasn't as scary.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I had some scary moments.

[A]

Did you scream?

[C]

No, I didn't scream. I rarely scream. I screamed in Jaws recently, actually, I went and saw Jaws. Have you ever seen Jaws?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

There's one scary moment with a dead body underwater. That's kind of a jump scare with a man's face.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scared.

[C]

Oh, my God. It was terrifying. But the thing I love about weapons is I love a horror movie where there's an actual evil. Like there's an evil witch. You know, it's not like psychological or anything, it's just like, oh, no. There's an actual demon that the town has to deal with.

[A]

She rocks.

[C]

She's fantastic.

[A]

She's so good. Finally, someone wasn't scared to go there.

[C]

Yes. Good for her.

[A]

So good.

[C]

Analise, what is the answer?

[A]

It's a gift.

[C]

Thank God.

[A]

It's a gift. We all win. I mean, to me, it's my way.

[C]

To show me what I'm made of.

[A]

You know, if I can sit through something really terrifying by myself and get through it, I'm good. Like, I've never felt stronger than watching. And I know this may seem silly because it's not very scary for a lot of people, but. But watching the Blair Witch Project by myself, I felt invincible. I could do anything. I have to do a rewatch because that movie really got me.

[C]

I recently watched it for the first time. Did nothing for me. I think that I've just seen too much Blair witch.

[A]

Just like pre 9 11. Like, it just takes me back. I'm becoming one of those people. It's like the world. I mean, of course. Anyway, we're not. We'll just end the episode quick before I start getting into pre 9 11.

[C]

Okay, well, we all win today. Good for us. Okay, we have to answer a listener question. People writing into I said no giftsmail.com. will you help me answer questions, please? Okay, well, this is. Salu, Bridget. So this person's already off on a bed?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I don't know if that's a typo or what, but in the French. You're on my bad side, listener. My brother in law is turning 40 this December and my husband and I want to get him a thoughtful yet unique gift. He's a college professor of creative writing and his hobbies include surfing, reading and writing. And he loves a good pizza, specifically New England pizza.

[A]

Is he single? Yeah. New England pizza.

[C]

Where's his. What is New England pizza?

[A]

There's no culture there. I don't know what New England pizza is versus New York pizza?

[C]

Is that when they put clams on it?

[A]

Maybe. I'm hungry. All this talk of pizza and tuna melts killed the clam.

[C]

We only get to see him and my sister a couple of times a year when they visit us for the holiday. It's too much. It's overwhelming. They're in New York, we're in Florida. So even an experienced gift during Christmas time might be fun. He already owns a million books. Nerd. What would you get a 40 year old writer surfer reader who seems to have it all advance? Thanks, Katherine.

[A]

I have to say something. This is gonna sound like I'm sponsors.

[C]

Here we go, Kim.

[A]

But I have to say, like a.

[C]

NASCAR stickers all over you.

[A]

This might sound obvious, but. But gold belly in a pinch.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Has some fun stuff for someone that wants a food item. Like you're saying he's a pizza head, loves New England pizza. I've never heard of that culture, but why not send a fun other kind of pizza sampler? Here's what you do. Like my friend had a baby. I send her post postpartum.

[C]

Postpartum?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Couldn't postpartum. When you say that without depression, it seems just sad. But it's not. It's a weird postpartum. Yeah, yeah, it seems a little.

[A]

How postpartum were you? Yeah, I don't know, but I sent the pizza because they do, you know. Did you, Top Chef. Chris Bianca.

[C]

Chris Bianco. Yes. Chris Bianca.

[A]

It was a fun episode. You can get his pizzas sent. So I go watch the chef's table episode, get excited, get hungry and have the pizza. Isn't that fun?

[C]

What an experience.

[A]

Yeah. So I think sometimes a fun gold.

[C]

Belly item, multimedia like can be.

[A]

That was my own little spin, but.

[C]

I think that's a great idea.

[A]

Browse gold belly. Because I've been sent a couple gold bellies. I go, let's hit the spot.

[C]

Because I am never like, oh, I'll get gold belly for myself. No, I'll never order something from across the country to eat.

[A]

But it's, it's such a novelty.

[C]

It's an extreme novelty.

[A]

And they're different price points. So if you want it into the 40th, you want to get up there. I think you can get things as low as maybe, you know, there's 70 range, but they're going up, up, up.

[C]

I wonder what the most expensive thing you can get on there. And it's probably some sort of meat. Right.

[A]

I think you can go pretty High.

[C]

Probably some type of sushi or.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Does it all come frozen?

[A]

Don't gold belly your sushi? No.

[C]

That feels like a rough.

[A]

No, it's not all I've gotten. I was. I sent Russ and daughters so they. There's different.

[C]

Yeah, that's a lovely. I mean. And she could. Maybe there's a good food in Florida that could be gold bellied to New York.

[A]

Sure. That's great to inform Florida. Yeah.

[C]

There is good Cuban food. There we go.

[A]

You know, I've never been to Florida, so I'm not.

[C]

You've never been to Florida?

[A]

I've never set foot in the state.

[C]

Well. And I can actually cannot really speak to the Cuban food because my experience in Miami was very singular and I was not really allowed to go into the city. But I really.

[A]

Okay, we'll get there.

[C]

I really wanted a Cuban sandwich and ended up so desperate to have one. I had one in the airport. So it wasn't really the experience I was looking for.

[A]

Sometimes airport food. I had one of the best things I had in Italy at the train station. Well, that's Italy. Yeah.

[C]

What did you have?

[A]

This fucking amazing sandwich.

[C]

Oh. It's weird when you go to other countries and it's just like baseline. Everything's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like you don't have to worry about even a train station having bad food.

[A]

Yeah, I was blown away.

[C]

Well, I think that's a lovely gift. My only thought is you're in Florida. Has he been on one of those air powered boats? What is that called? You know the thing with a giant fan behind it that they fly across a swamp.

[A]

A solo. Like a one seater.

[C]

No, I feel like it's usually like a swamp person. That's like a swamp.

[A]

A swamp tour.

[C]

Swamp tour. Have you been on a swamp tour?

[A]

No. That's how Lana Del Rey fell in love.

[C]

That's true. And if he's single.

[A]

I know. Get out there.

[C]

Missed connection.

[A]

If it were on the Lana, it could work for anyone.

[C]

She's still married to the guy.

[A]

Never been happier. So it seems.

[C]

I believe it.

[A]

I saw listen walking down the aisle full blown. And then someone saw there was footage of her recently on a tour being like. And then like crying, like looking at him. I was like, whoa, that is incredible.

[C]

Good for her.

[A]

Really happy for her. Love her.

[C]

Yeah, we love her. And Catherine, we love you. And your brother in law.

[A]

Happy birthday.

[C]

Happy birthday to him. And hopefully send him some food and then say you'll take him on a swamp tour.

[A]

I think that's fun.

[C]

If you already took him on a swamp tour, he's probably hooked. He probably wants to go on. And we answered the question perfectly.

[A]

I'm scared of swamp tour alligators.

[C]

No, Alligators are very top of my list of terrifying.

[A]

I was talking about alligators in therapy yesterday.

[C]

Have you ever seen one in person?

[A]

No, but I had a dream. I'm in Jungian analysis. We'll talk about my dreams a lot.

[C]

What happened to the. In the. Within the dream? Did it attack?

[A]

Sometimes alligators appear for me and the primordial mother. The alligator. You know, what's lurking underneath the surface that can suddenly explode and come forward.

[C]

Oh, my God. And thrash and.

[A]

They scare me. Me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Of course, I'm not unique in that they're scary, but something about, like, I. Sometimes I watch videos of them. I kind of, like, want to feel the fear. There should be an alligator horror movie.

[C]

Well, I don't think anybody's really. Oh, Lake Placid, I think.

[A]

Is that about a giant alligator?

[C]

That's a great.

[A]

Alligator versus crocodile. What's the difference? Is it a gender thing?

[C]

I feel like a crocodile has a rounder snout while the alligator has a.

[A]

More sharper, pointed, smaller. Yeah.

[C]

Can kind of snatch you. While the crocodile is more like. Like chompsu. It's a science. Yeah, they're terrifying to me. We had a lizard in the house recently.

[A]

Baby alligator.

[C]

Jim was screaming. Yeah, it was adorable. It was smaller than a Tootsie Roll.

[A]

That's cute. The alligators don't scare me. I had an alligator. I mean, a lizard that came into the house. Hot day in Los Angeles. Where was it? Laying on my cold laptop on the top. And I go, sweetie, take. Take a load off. Just the cold apple metal like you could see.

[C]

That sounds amazing.

[A]

I know. I was, like, smart.

[C]

Someone should make beds out of that same aluminum or whatever. Oh, beautiful. Well, we answered the question perfectly. I have my chocolates. I'm so glad you could be here.

[A]

Wouldn't have missed it.

[C]

Thank you for being here.

[A]

Thank you for having me.

[C]

And listener. The podcast is over. We're screeching to a halt. I'm oddly warm. I don't know what's happening in the studio today. I think we need to. I mean, unfortunately, it's too late for the note. The next person who records in here will be nice and breezy. We're sweating. We have to get out of here. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Anneliese Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on any Instagram at I said no gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[A]

When I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty handed. I said no. Guess your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff so how do you dare disobey me?

[B]

Thursday Night Football is on and it's only on crime video. You better look out. You better get ready. Tonight it's a rivalry renewed as the Philadelphia Eagles take on the New York Giants. Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with Football's Best Party TNF tonight presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member? Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 name free trial. It's the Eagles and the giants tonight at 7pm Eastern only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.

[A]

What kind of man would let this happen to his family?

[B]

Inspired by shocking actual events, I'm working.

[A]

On a story about the Murdochs.

[C]

Their abuses of power are playing out in real time.

[B]

Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark. Clark it's only cheating if you get caught. Hulu Original Series Murdoch Death in The Family premieres October 15th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Can small acts make a real impact in the world? Sometimes a small thing has the power to become more something big and meaningful. And when it comes to helping children, no act is too small. When you fill up at the Purple Giving Pump at Shell, a portion of your purchase will be donated to support charities in your community. The Giving Pump Easy to stop, easy to donate from 9125 to 10 30, 125 participating Shell stations will donate a minimum of $0.01 per gallon of the fuel pump from the giving pump or a minimum donation of $300.