
Bridger doesn't resort to violence when Katya attempts to disturb him with an unwanted gift. The two discuss bespoke murder, the spirit of Julianne Moore, and standardized testing.
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Katya
This is exactly right. Hey there, Ryan Reynolds here. It's a new year and you know what that means. No, not the diet resolutions. A way for us all to try and do a little bit better than we did last year. And my resolution, unlike big wireless, is to not be a raging and raise the price of wireless on you every chance I get. Give it a try@mintmobile.com switch $45 upfront payment required.
Bridger Weiniger
Equivalent to $15 per month.
Katya
New customers on first three month plan only.
Bridger Weiniger
Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited. See mintmobile.com for details.
Katya
ABC Wednesday. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.
Bridger Weiniger
Dad, I'm broke and I need a.
Katya
Place to stay until I figure out.
Bridger Weiniger
What the rest of my life looks like.
Katya
So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18.
Bridger Weiniger
The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.
Katya
The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each.
Bridger Weiniger
Other like rational adults? Have you watched the news lately?
Katya
That's not a thing anymore. Series premieres Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on.
Bridger Weiniger
ABC and stream on Hulu. When I invited you here.
Katya
I thought.
Bridger Weiniger
I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home.
Katya
You got to come to me empty handed. I said no guests.
Bridger Weiniger
Your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me? Welcome to I said no Gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. What's happening? What's happening? I think this is the first show post the live show in New York. We're back in Los Angeles. We had a ball. We had the time of our lives. If you weren't there, that's something you will just kind of regret for the rest of your life. That will haunt you. And I hope it does. I hope that's just on your mind constantly. So that was the. I was in New York for a few days and almost nothing happened. The other memorable thing was I had a. A bad lentil soup, which I thought was the safe bet. And I wasn't even able to finish the cup of soup. So I don't know what went wrong there. On my way home. This is important. In the Uber on the way back to the airport, they had the little screen and of course I'm figuring out what my horoscope is and I'm just going to read this for Libras. It said take this summer to plan a camping trip with Close friends and reconnect. So that was timely. I adore today's guest. Everyone adores today's guest. It's Katya.
Katya
Hi. Not everyone. Not everyone.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, we don't want to hear about the other people.
Katya
People who would disagree? I don't know. Thank you for having me.
Bridger Weiniger
Of course. Welcome to. I said no gifts.
Katya
I am happy to be here. Did you figure out what kind of rat you are?
Bridger Weiniger
No, I couldn't figure. Anneliese stopped.
Katya
Wood rat.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm a wood rat.
Katya
I wonder if that's compatible with a water dog.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh. What?
Katya
I guess we'll find out.
Bridger Weiniger
I wonder what. Annaliese, do you know what the qualities of a wood rat are? Well, I know that just for a.
Katya
Rat, you are supposed to be charming and hardworking.
Bridger Weiniger
So.
Katya
Thrifty.
Bridger Weiniger
Thrifty. Oh, my God. That one actually works. That is so. That. I mean, one out of three isn't bad.
Katya
That's great.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow. Interesting.
Katya
Wood rat. Yeah. And, you know, if you go to the. I think it's the Los Angeles Museum of Contemporary Art, lacma, they have an incredible circle of sculptures that of all the animals in the Chinese zodiac. The snake is amazing. The pig is amazing. They're beautiful.
Bridger Weiniger
Is this a temporary thing?
Katya
No, it's there. It's like they're permanent. It's like on the outside by the restaurant. Check it out. It's really great.
Bridger Weiniger
So you're a water dog. What does that mean?
Katya
I just take it literally because I am a profuse, prodigious sweater and, you know, female impersonator. So just sweaty bitch makes sense, right?
Bridger Weiniger
Of course. It's. Right on.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I knew I was a rat for a long time, but I had no idea there were other. I mean, in so many senses of the word.
Katya
You're like a rat just searching around, looking for food. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, I have said on this podcast.
Katya
Are you jealous?
Bridger Weiniger
I'm not a really jealous person.
Katya
Are you a tattletale?
Bridger Weiniger
No. But I have said on this podcast before that it's very pro snitch. We're pro rat.
Katya
Rat people out.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, you gotta snitch.
Katya
I would never. No matter how many fingers they cut off. I would never tell. I would never tell.
Bridger Weiniger
Do you really think you wouldn't snitch on principle?
Katya
I so admire the people who get, like, flayed alive and then won't talk because then it's just on a. It's like the ultimate last thing you can do. You know, it's us, like, when it's a power play.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
Even if the information is, like, not even that great or not even whatever. If I'm getting tortured, I'm not going to say it.
Bridger Weiniger
To torture someone to death and not get a juicy tidbit out of them, that's.
Katya
And they have to live with that guilt and the. You know, it's a whole thing. Right.
Bridger Weiniger
It's like, oh, that's what I got out of you.
Katya
I get to go to heaven and they are going to hell. And it's all. It's wonderful.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. I think there are particular people I wouldn't snitch on, but if I were in the mafia or something like this, I think I would be right.
Katya
You're gonna get whacked.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Katya
So you're essentially killing yourself.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes, of course. And why not?
Katya
I guess so.
Bridger Weiniger
To be killed by the mob.
Katya
Yeah, I mean, they're just gonna. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I. I just recently watched Goodfellas.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I love Goodfellas. It's fantastic.
Katya
And, you know, in the Godfather. Wait, speaking of the Godfather, have you seen Mega Flopolis?
Bridger Weiniger
I've seen the first hour.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
I got a little sleepy. I got a little. Because, you know, I mean, it's insane. It's so wild to watch, but the story is so just all over the place that you stop following it. It starts to feel like someone's telling you a dream or something. I just was like, oh, yeah.
Katya
I was tempted to go see in theater, but I just. I don't want to be bored at the movies.
Bridger Weiniger
No. And you are kind of bored. I think, if you were. I think my audience was weirdly taking the movie seriously. And you want to be there with people who are, like, on board with. Oh, we all think this is a crazy movie. Right. And it felt like everyone around me wanted to see the movie, so it was boring.
Katya
Damn.
Bridger Weiniger
But I've heard the last half has some really wild moments as well that I'll have to torrent.
Katya
You'll catch it on streaming.
Bridger Weiniger
I'll catch it on streaming.
Katya
Have you seen the Substance?
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I loved the Substance. I had a great time.
Katya
One of the best moviegoing experiences of my life.
Bridger Weiniger
It is so. I mean, I will say 40 minutes too long.
Katya
Oh, interesting.
Bridger Weiniger
I felt like it kind of ended and then, I mean, the ending, the last, like, third of it is so outrageous. Fun and outrageous to watch. But it's like, maybe we could have just tightened it up a bit or something.
Katya
Yeah, I think I watched it twice, and I was like. If I had. The first time I saw it, I was like, okay. It's my favorite movie. This is gonna be my personality for the next three years. And then I saw it again. I'm like, okay, this is just a movie. There are flaws. And I think I would have nixed the Strega Nona cooking segment. I would have just got rid of that altogether. And then that's. That's the only place I feel like could have been trimmed. But, God, I love that fucking movie.
Bridger Weiniger
I went in knowing literally nothing about the movie. Oh, you did?
Katya
I mean, very. I had seen only the teaser, not the trailer.
Bridger Weiniger
I hadn't even seen a teaser. I knew that Demi Moore was in it, and I knew that the title was the substance.
Katya
Oh, my God, I'm so jealous. That must have been amazing.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Because I kind of went in thinking it was going to be kind of like a hard drama or like a really dark drama, and it's like, oh, pure entertainment. Oh, Rom com called the substance.
Katya
I just can't believe Margaret Qualley's breasts were prosthetics.
Bridger Weiniger
They were.
Katya
Yes, they were.
Bridger Weiniger
Was that to, like, match Demi?
Katya
Yeah. Yeah. Because Margaret. And it's interesting because, you know, she's the younger, more perfect version of Demi Moore, but the real life actress does not have big boobs.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
So they needed to give her big boobs, which seamless, incredible, unclockable breasts.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow. And I was so proud of them to make a movie where they just cast a younger actor to play the younger part rather than putting the actor in weird makeup or the express.
Katya
Uncanny valley.
Bridger Weiniger
Like Tom Cruise flipping on a train, making hot chocolate.
Katya
Don't you think? Well, we were talking about other options for Margaret Qualley. Looks like Jennifer Connelly.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, wow.
Katya
But Jennifer Connelly is not old enough. She's only 50. Although Demi Moore is 60 playing 50. It works better.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Connelly would have had to play 40.
Katya
Yeah. But then it's like you're too young for the substance.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. It doesn't make enough sense. I mean, maybe it would just be a. An even edgier look at.
Katya
Yeah. And I think the meta Demi Moore's career gave it a huge, robust flavor that it wouldn't have had with another actress, you know, because she's gone through the plastic surgery scandals and all that crap.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right. That's true. Like, she actually brings something to it personally. Oh, no. I had such a good time, and I was obviously just so repulsed over and over and over. But the thing that really, like, makes me feel bad is seeing, like, close ups of a syringe going in oh, my God.
Katya
If you don't like that kind of stuff. If you don't like that, like, large gauge needles puncturing, like, festering wounds, this is not the movie for you, baby.
Bridger Weiniger
It is tough to watch.
Katya
I usually don't. I usually flinch. I was just very glad there were no needles in the neck.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh.
Katya
Because that's one of my pet peeves. We don't do needles in the neck on planet Earth.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Who. Whatever.
Katya
Nobody does needles in the neck unless they're like, heavy hardcore heroin addicts. But even then, it's not like a jam it in.
Bridger Weiniger
It's a very slow.
Katya
You know what I mean?
Bridger Weiniger
There are just so many other areas of the body that you can go through. Yeah.
Katya
And if you're doing, like, I just hate that. Any writer out there in Hollywood, please don't write that into your script. The whole jabbing the thing in the neck and then all. And then they immediately, like, fall down.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, the immediate falling down, I think we've got to figure out.
Katya
Yes, you have to write it in because, like, an intramuscular injection is gonna take about 15 to 25 minutes to take effect. And I recently saw a movie where that happened and I was like, oh, yes. And. But, you know, the whole, like, jam it in the thigh, they fall over. I hate that.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. And I mean, even with, like, in action movies, people being shot and then just falling over, I think we're ready. We're all adults. We can see a little bit more of the struggle.
Katya
Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
You don't just fall to the ground.
Katya
Right. And if it's in reality, you can't slide and then fall off a cliff and hang with one hand. Like, not even an Olympic athlete could do that.
Bridger Weiniger
No way.
Katya
Not even, like the best gymn.
Bridger Weiniger
You would rip your arm off.
Katya
Yeah, yeah. You would just not be able to grip and hold, like, it's fucking. And then hold somebody else.
Bridger Weiniger
The upper body strength. I mean, unless that's part of the story.
Katya
It never is. It's always like, die Hard or like, you know, they're human beings with no supernatural powers yet. They can get. They can stick a needle in somebody's neck and they immediately die or get, you know, it's just. Oh, I hate it so much. I hate it.
Bridger Weiniger
Did you watch Long Legs?
Katya
I did. I thought it sucked. I. You know, brilliant marketing. I was so primed, pumped, psyched, and ready to have, like, my head blown off and to have nightmares for, like, six months, my friend and I laughed, like, all the way through. And it was such a ripoff. Of Silence of the Lambs of like seven. David Lynchy, kind of. It was so shitty. I hated it so much. No offense to the director, I'm sure he's a lovely person, but yeah, it was just so over hyped and underdelivered.
Bridger Weiniger
No, this is. You're maybe the third person on this podcast. I've asked if they had seen it and they hadn't. And so then I'm just like, well, I have nowhere to share these feelings. This is exactly how I felt. I felt like the first minute was like, oh, this is kind of spooky.
Katya
Well, you know, spoiler alert when right at the beginning when she says it's that house, he goes in and gets shot immediately. That was a lovely, cool moment.
Bridger Weiniger
Very intense with like the plastic hanging from the ceiling.
Katya
Very haunting. That's it.
Bridger Weiniger
It's over after that. Then it's just ridiculous. Yeah.
Katya
It's like, I might come back once, twice. There's many. And we were laughing. I was like, I know this is supposed to be creepy in a Lynchian sort of way, but it's just failing at it.
Bridger Weiniger
I wondered throughout the movie if it weren't Nicolas Cage, if it would have been scary. But I just kept thinking, that's Nick Cage.
Katya
No, he was the best part of it.
Bridger Weiniger
I thought he was very good, but I just kept thinking, this can't be a scary monster. It should be an anonymous actor that I. That at least feels like they're from another realm.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Otherwise I'm like, oh, it's just him in makeup doing a good job.
Katya
Like, it was like, she's an FBI agent and she didn't bother to check her mom's hoarding house. Like, it was like so bad. I was like, ugh, whatever. Yeah, it was such a disappointment. But then I saw the Terrifier Part three.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that looks genuinely scary to me. Is it? All three of them look so scary.
Katya
Well, I'm gonna be frank. Number one, piece of shit. Number two, very, very shitty and long. Number three, tight and very well improved. I shouldn't have said they were shit because I'm lobbying hard to be cast in the fourth one.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, but you've got thoughts that you can share with the creative team.
Katya
No, I would never. No, I said I would give them. I would come with no notes or anything. I'd just be very, like, you know, enthusiastic about whatever they wanted me to do. But I saw it on a sneak preview night with, you know, die hard horror fans at the Egyptian Theater, and that experience rivaled the substance because it was all a bunch of freaks who love gore. And the movie is so disgusting. It's so disgusting. It's relentlessly, brutally, sadistically disgusting. But not in a hostile kind of way, right? Like, not like hostile saw like it doesn't try to emulate the real world. In fact, there are supernatural elements to the killer now and into the kills. But spoiler alert, there's a chainsaw up the ass.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, my.
Katya
And to the genitals. And that's just like, not even the most horrifying part. It's like it just never stops. It's so. We were screaming and everybody was screaming and I'm like, oh, this is great.
Bridger Weiniger
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Katya
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Bridger Weiniger
Free today@greenlight.com Spotify and does the gore feel realistic?
Katya
It's like Giallo, I think. I don't. It's like it's Saw. A lot of the Saw movies do really try to emulate realism and the Hostel especially, because that is torture porn.
Bridger Weiniger
Right, Right.
Katya
Human beings torturing other human beings. In this one there are demons, there are possessed demons. So it is a supernatural horror. But the gore is very grindhouse splashy splatter.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, I can handle that.
Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the blood doesn't look like real blood a lot of the times.
Bridger Weiniger
Very corn syrup or it's like almost like orangey.
Katya
It's like. And there's so much of it, but you see everything. Like the chainsaw off the ass and then the whole front body.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, it's just the tagline should just be you see everything you do.
Katya
And it like. There was a notorious kill in the second one that was so brutal, it was really tough to watch. And it went on forever. And just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it does. But yeah, it's just. It's sick. It's psychotic.
Bridger Weiniger
And what is the story of the film? I know, it's like a crazy looking clown.
Katya
It's a crazy looking clown. Well, so he was decapitated in the second one.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Katya
So his decapitated body comes back. You know, it's like they have to conjure the supernatural lore in order to make the logic work. But now Art the clown, the killer, super sadistic. He goes to a mall and blows up kids. He has a. His, I think a victim that he tore the face off of in the first one is now his accomplice. And she's like a demon lady. Cause she's possessed and she is really cunty. She really lets you have it. So they're like a duo and it's like Bonnie and Clyde. Very disgusting, twisted demon clown version.
Bridger Weiniger
That must have been a real conversation between the two of them, her getting on his side post face being ripped off.
Katya
Oh yeah. She didn't factor. She hardly factored in on the second one, I think. And then her inclusion into this was a real real. It's cool because it's like you get to see like, you know, the Ozzie and Harriet, Bonnie and Clyde. Kind of like. Like the Mr. And Mrs. Smith kind of like working together to kill every single person in the world.
Bridger Weiniger
And where does Arthur come in the first movie? Where does he come from?
Katya
He's just a clown. Oh, he just happens to be a clown.
Bridger Weiniger
Angry clown.
Katya
Yes. Very sadistic, very sad. And he's like super faggy.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, he's like.
Katya
He does this a lot.
Bridger Weiniger
Like representation we need.
Katya
Yeah, he's like. He's really broad. He doesn't speak at all.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Katya
But he's like. And he's like, like, he'll like. He is super, super flamboyant and in the way that like Freddy Krueger is. But he's the most animated, silent, flamboyant killer that there is in horror.
Bridger Weiniger
I think you point out something I obviously noticed but never realize is Freddy Krueger is very flamboyant. He's all over the place.
Katya
He is a faggot. And you know what? He really. I grew up watching those movies. I still have nightmares. What's crazy about him is that, yeah, he gets you in your dreams and he also tailors them to your fears. And he like, it's very like bespoke murders. Do you know what I mean? He, like. He'll do the most horrifying thing to you because he's in your head and you can't escape from him because in your dreams. Oh, it's just so. Whereas Jason and Michael Myers, lumbering oafs.
Bridger Weiniger
They don't even run anything.
Katya
Yeah, fuck off. It's so boring.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, at least Michael Myers has the decency to like, turn the mask inside out. Try something new.
Katya
I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't think any of those movies are good.
Bridger Weiniger
Not even Halloween one? No, I love Halloween one.
Katya
But what about this? Remember the first scene? Who kills somebody like this?
Bridger Weiniger
Just kind of like one of those.
Katya
Birds that breaks the pov like through the mask is like. That's how they're. But like, you do this, you don't like, move your head, you know, it doesn't. If you think about it, who does it?
Bridger Weiniger
A psychotic killer. Somebody who's out of their mind and is going to be 20 movies.
Katya
Hand, eye coordination.
Bridger Weiniger
That's the. That's what made him evil. It was a real trial throughout his life.
Katya
Who's your favorite horror character?
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that's a very good question. Let me think about this for a moment because I want to. I want it to be an accurate.
Katya
Do you like horror?
Bridger Weiniger
I love horror. But I'll say. Oof. I actually don't think I have, because the ones that really scare me are ones that. They're kind of just normal people, you know, like the strangers.
Katya
Oh, yeah. Home Invasion does not. I don't like that at all.
Bridger Weiniger
It feels bad.
Katya
Do you see Hush?
Bridger Weiniger
No. What's this?
Katya
It's a home invasion movie and the girl is deaf. Oh, it's fucking scary.
Bridger Weiniger
Sounds bad.
Katya
Very scary. Like, he kills her friend right at the door at the glass window. And he doesn't understand she's deaf and she's, like, banging it. It's a little unbelievable in a way, but it's really, really, really scary.
Bridger Weiniger
I think now I'm thinking the house in the Haunting. I think that might be my favorite villain.
Katya
The House and the Haunting.
Bridger Weiniger
Have you seen the haunting? The 60s one?
Katya
I don't know.
Bridger Weiniger
It's so good.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
I gotta say, it's fantastic. It's just like, a guy brings some people together to study this house, and it's very spooky. It holds up pretty well as a haunted house movie.
Katya
Okay, cool.
Bridger Weiniger
Who's your favorite?
Katya
I like Candyman. Oh, the 92.
Bridger Weiniger
I've never seen Candyman.
Katya
Oh, I highly suggest it. Tony Todd plays the cool thing about people who follow me. They're so sick of me talking about this. But the cool thing about that movie, not the remake. I did not like the remake. But it's all of the. Most of the action, most of the scary stuff happens during the day in broad daylight. And he has this hypnotizing quality. The main character is studying these urban legends in this impoverished part of, I think, Chicago. And she's a white woman grad student. And when he haunts her, he's like, helen. Helen. And his voice is so. She never screams, ever. She gets hypnotized.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh.
Katya
And it's crazy. And she actually got hypnotized on set by a hypnotist. And it started to drive her crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
What?
Katya
Yeah, it was cool. And his voice is so. Once you hear it, it is so effective at being fucking terrifying.
Bridger Weiniger
And does he come out of a mirror like Bloody Mary?
Katya
Exactly. Five times you say Candyman. And then Hook will get you from stem to stem to stern, from crotch.
Bridger Weiniger
To throat, from crotch to chin. Yeah. Wow.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Have you ever been hypnotized?
Katya
I've. You know, I've. There was. I went to the Mad Russian in Boston to try to get hypnotized for smoking. Quitting smoking didn't work. No, it did not. I wish it had. I Don't think I'm hypnotizable.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, I was going to say so many people swear by it, but then I'm like, all those people are just people I've heard in, like, ads or whatever. It's like, no, I don't really believe it.
Katya
I mean, I just can't imagine. Really.
Bridger Weiniger
Like, right.
Katya
Like, totally sober. You know what I mean? Like, really, like, alert. Like, not tired. Like, I mean, I think I'm too.
Bridger Weiniger
Skeptical where I would just be thinking about that through the entire process. And even if it were possible, it would get in the way of my brain being free to be impressionable.
Katya
I mean, I'm open to it.
Bridger Weiniger
I would love to be hypnotized.
Katya
Yeah, it would be fierce.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, if that's a real thing that can happen, it's magic.
Katya
I. Well, you know what? I was on the street the other day, walking home from Ralph's, and this. This young boy was, like, following me. And then he, like, tapped me on the shoulder at the intersection. He's like, do you wanna see? He's like, katya. He's like, yeah. He's like, do you wanna see a magic trick?
Bridger Weiniger
Ooh.
Katya
I know. That was like, in my head, I'm like, absolutely fuck not. But then, of course, I was just like, sure, whatever. And he blew my mind.
Bridger Weiniger
What did he do?
Katya
I can't. I can't succinctly describe it, but he basically. He took my phone, he gave it back to me, then I took his phone, and I didn't type anything into his phone. And then, long story short, he had told me to think of a place. A very specific place. Not like a country, but somewhere or like some. A very specific place. And I thought of one I'd been to. And he said, the Upper House in Hong Kong. And there was no way for him to know that.
Bridger Weiniger
Whoa.
Katya
There was just through the process, there was no. I was like, holy shit. I was like, how did you do that? He's like, magic. I was like, oh, my God.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, everything about the setup of that magic trick is like, he's sealing your phone.
Katya
I wish. I know. I really. Because the way that he did it, the process, the order of events, it really seemed impossible for me for him to have known.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
Obviously, I'm dumb. And it worked really well. But it was like. Yeah, it was mind blowing. He was 21 years old.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow. He just takes your phone and then vanishes in a cloud of smoke. Oh, he got me. Oh, God. Oh, no. I've been to one Hip hop. And I always find them very annoying because I'm like, everyone on stage just seems to be faking it, of course. And trying to act wacky.
Katya
Yeah. I always think they're plants. I mean, who's there to. Yeah, none of that stuff impresses me. Really close up. Magic's a little interesting.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. It's at least impressive.
Katya
Yeah. It's just once you, like, watch a video about how to do it, it's all. The thing's all spoiled, you know?
Bridger Weiniger
You know, Anyways, I mean, look, I think there's something else we should talk about. I love magic, but there's something else that appeared in the studio today.
Katya
Yes. A gift.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. The podcast is. I said no gifts, which is.
Katya
And I'm an iconoclast, famous iconoclast, rule breaker, enfant terrible. But wait, look at. Please describe it.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. Yeah. This is because when you walked into the studio, you were holding a. Just a shopping bag.
Katya
Ralph's shop. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Which a lot of guests on this podcast will just show up essentially with a garbage bag or whatever. And that's the wrapping. I thought, oh, that's. But then you pulled it out and it was so beautifully wrapped.
Katya
I didn't have any wrapping paper at home, so I. That was a gift bag that I, I cut up. And then I found some Baby Rick rack in my studio and made it as like. Cuz I didn't have any ribbon. And I. And it's so shittily wrapped that I. I think it needed a little ribbon.
Bridger Weiniger
I think it's so cute.
Katya
But that card stock is very expensive. Thank you very much.
Bridger Weiniger
And it feels expensive. It's thick, it's textured.
Katya
Oh, yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
And then it's got my name in Russian.
Katya
Yeah. So. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow, that's amazing.
Katya
Yeah, that's a B. The P is an R. That middle one with the triangle is a D. It's just such a strange, wonderful language.
Bridger Weiniger
How long did it take you to learn to write Russian?
Katya
Oh, it's like two days.
Bridger Weiniger
Two days?
Katya
Yeah. So easy.
Bridger Weiniger
Really?
Katya
Yeah. Yeah. You can learn the Alphabet in like four hours.
Bridger Weiniger
How is their Alphabet 26 letters?
Katya
I think it's like 33.
Bridger Weiniger
33?
Katya
Yeah. They have. And they have some. They have a couple of letters that are like not letters. They're called signs that they like, affect the pronunciation of other letters. I love Cyrillic Alphabet so much. It's so sexy.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, it's. I mean, it's so beautiful.
Katya
It really is beautiful.
Bridger Weiniger
Really stylish looking.
Katya
Yeah, it's beautiful.
Bridger Weiniger
It gives much more of an impression than our Alphabet.
Katya
Please open the card and read it. And there's a gift inside as well.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, in the envelope?
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. Oh, my God.
Katya
10 rubles? Yes, 10 rubles. And it says good luck.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, it says good luck inside. How do you say that?
Katya
Udachi.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow. Okay, so tell me why you gave me 10 rubles.
Katya
Because I just found it. I was like, I was looking all over my house. I was like, God, what do I. I was like, gonna give you. I had these Gila monsters that were all bubble wrapped taxidermy. I was like, oh, my God, that's crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
How many of them do you have?
Katya
3. I don't think they're actually Gila monsters, but they're giant lizards and. But then I was like, what can I give him? I wanted to give him something useful. Give you something useful. So I gave you something useful.
Bridger Weiniger
It's such a beautiful piece of currency. It's got a bridge, it's got some sort of tower on it, multiple colors.
Katya
I think in today's economy, it's probably worth about 8 cents or less even.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm rich.
Katya
Yeah. Like, I think like 10,000 rubles is like $5.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm quitting the podcast now. Wow. I mean, I think it's been said before, but literally every other country has such better looking currency.
Katya
Well, I mean, Canada and Canada, especially Canada. Australia, when they have the plastic, non breakable ones.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I haven't seen this.
Katya
Oh, are you kidding me? The Australia, Canada, I think many euros now. They're like plastic with clear. You can't rip them.
Bridger Weiniger
It can go through the wash.
Katya
Absolutely. You can go in the ocean. Like, seriously, they're unbreakable and they're so slick and smooth and lovely to.
Bridger Weiniger
But they're still like foldable to put in a wallet. Oh.
Katya
I mean, basically the same size as all the other, like a dollar.
Bridger Weiniger
How are we so far behind?
Katya
We're so flopped. We flopped so hard on payment and payment methods.
Bridger Weiniger
As a country that is so obsessed with money, you would think we can't.
Katya
Seem to get it right in any department. My God.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, I'll have to. I'm gonna spend big with this. Yeah.
Katya
Or maybe invest it.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, yeah, invest it.
Katya
It's your nest egg.
Bridger Weiniger
This is my nest egg. My grandnieces will be very thankful for this.
Katya
I'm curious, can you look up how much 10 rubles is? Because I really think it's probably 0.01 cents is something very low. I feel like.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, annalies find out because it's $0.10 $0.10, so. Wow. This is a lot more than a bill. I'm going on vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, traveling. Do you have a lot of Russian currency?
Katya
No, that's the only one I found in my house.
Bridger Weiniger
Where do you think it came from?
Katya
A fan in Nashville.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, interesting.
Katya
They tips me. That and a Red Lobster gift card.
Bridger Weiniger
A 10 cent gift card?
Katya
No, it's 20 bucks.
Bridger Weiniger
20 bucks. That's great.
Katya
I should have brought you that.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, so you haven't gone out. Gotta take yourself to Red Lobster.
Katya
Do you like lobster?
Bridger Weiniger
Do you like crab?
Katya
Nope.
Bridger Weiniger
Any sort of shellfish?
Katya
Nope.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, well then rats of the sea.
Katya
Lobster.
Bridger Weiniger
They are bugs.
Katya
They're like bottom feeders.
Bridger Weiniger
They're giant insects. But I think they're delicious.
Katya
You do?
Bridger Weiniger
I know, but I don't eat them that often.
Katya
Do the bib and everything?
Bridger Weiniger
No, See, and that's probably why I think they're good because, like, it's so rare and I never am just like eating the full thing and like cracking the bottom.
Katya
Are you doing like a lobster roll?
Bridger Weiniger
Probably things. Yeah. Where it's like an element rather than a. Yeah, lobster roll. I think it's the butter. I think that that's kind of the element that I really like in the lemon.
Katya
Oh, God, I hate it so much. I'm such a picky eater, though. What's your favorite food?
Bridger Weiniger
My favorite food, I would say probably burrito.
Katya
What's in it?
Bridger Weiniger
I like a San Francisco Mission burrito. So living in LA is kind of hell where it's like. Whereas rice and beans and guacamole and sour cream and cheese.
Katya
You can't get that in LA.
Bridger Weiniger
Not really.
Katya
Are you out of your mind?
Bridger Weiniger
LA. You can, but they're not good. Because LA, there aren't a lot of good flour tortillas. There's. There. I've read, like, articles about this. Okay. And it's very hard to find a really good burrito. There are other, like, LA style burritos, but they're usually just like beans and meat.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
But like, if you go to San Francisco, phenomenal burritos. And they're like the sort of burrito that you can stand. It's so. It's like a.
Katya
It's like a football.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. It's really a beautiful thing.
Katya
Big.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. But I think burrito or a gyro. I love gyros. Okay.
Katya
Oh, that's how you say it. Gyro.
Bridger Weiniger
Do you say gyro?
Katya
Well, I did for about the first 30 years of my life. And then I said I thought they were Heroes.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, hero is.
Katya
It's hero.
Bridger Weiniger
I think it is gyro, but I think a lot of people just continue to say gyro and like that's an accepted form of Hero is a. You were wrong. You were simply wrong.
Katya
Okay, okay. Also love the Greek Alphabet, which the Cyrillic Alphabet comes from.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, interesting.
Katya
Beautiful letter. Lovely letters.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. I mean, the Greeks were really doing it early on.
Katya
Yeah, everything.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, they really. They were leading the way. And that's why the Euro is so delicious. But that's another thing you can't really get in LA because there's not a large Greek population. So I've found myself in a trap.
Katya
Damn. Gotta go to Greece.
Bridger Weiniger
Gotta go to Greece.
Katya
Have you been?
Bridger Weiniger
No. I would love to go to Greece.
Katya
I would love to go too.
Bridger Weiniger
What's your favorite food?
Katya
If I had to eat one dinner meal for the rest of my life, it would be what I had last night, which was spicy beef noodles at this really new, wonderful, great Chinese place by my house called LAN Noodles. L, A, N. I suggest you try it. They're absolutely delicious. And then chicken fried dumplings.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that sounds phenomenal.
Katya
It's so good. This noodle place is off the hook. Oh, I think about it right now and I'm like, yeah, Lan Noodles. Check it out.
Bridger Weiniger
You saying that reminds probably a meal that I would eat for the rest of my life is the fried chicken plate at Dune. Have you been there? The Mediterranean kind of where it's like hummus and shredded cabbage. Unbelievable meal. And they make the pita there. It's so good. Yes. You gotta make the pita in store.
Katya
Yes. You can't. You can't have it shipped in from some lab or whatever.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, should I open this little box here? Okay.
Katya
Careful with the baby. Rick rack.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, I'm being.
Katya
You want to save that for later?
Bridger Weiniger
Very. I'm gonna put this in my hair or something.
Katya
Yeah, you could do bracelet, do braids. Now this is for. Something to keep in the house. It's not for you.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. This isn't for guests. Oh, fantastic.
Katya
Something that people often overlook, Especially guys.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Katya
I brought the right thing.
Bridger Weiniger
That paper sounds so good.
Katya
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Asmr.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, it's so crispy. Hearty paper. Oh, this is a. This is fantastic. Actually, I would never. I wouldn't have this in my home. It's a box of tampons.
Katya
Yep. A lot of. I mean, especially. I'm not going to assume you're your orientation, but a lot of gay guys. I noticed a lot of gay guys would never this would never, ever cross their mind.
Bridger Weiniger
No, of course not.
Katya
Maybe if, like, when their sister comes over, or their niece or their mom or whatever, or they're, you know, someone with a bloody nose, someone with a vagina. Like, you know, it's always important to have tampons. I also have pads in the house as well.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, this is such a. I mean, this should be a public service announcement right now. Any.
Katya
Well, they also should be free.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, it's a well known scam on women. I mean, there's so many. The Essential tax, where it's like, oh, here are a bunch of other things you have to pay for. Which. This should just be everywhere.
Katya
This should be, like, hanging from trees everywhere.
Bridger Weiniger
They should be next to the napkin dispenser at restaurants.
Katya
They should be with the fork and knife.
Bridger Weiniger
They should be floating down rivers.
Katya
Yes, they should be.
Bridger Weiniger
They probably are actually killing dolphins, the new ones.
Katya
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. This is. I mean, it didn't even cross my mind. And the next time this is needed in my home, when a woman needs it, I'm going to be an absolute hero.
Katya
You're going to be a hero. I'm going to. You're going to be a gyro. I'm going to be a gyro.
Bridger Weiniger
I will be a lamb and a delicious pita covered in a yogurt sauce. That sounds bad, but this is also really.
Katya
I recently saw Carrie, so this was on my mind.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, of course.
Katya
That opening scene is pretty wild, that movie.
Bridger Weiniger
I never saw the remake.
Katya
Don't.
Bridger Weiniger
Don't add.
Katya
Do not ever, please. No disrespect to the people who did.
Bridger Weiniger
It, but there was no unnecessary.
Katya
Yeah. It was just like Carrie's masterpiece.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. It's so perfect. And yeah, that opening scene's amazing.
Katya
It's amazing. And it's like there's a lot of naked bodies, like bush and titties.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, yeah. They really go for it.
Katya
Yeah. Like Brian De Palma said, you will see full female nudity and a lot of it right away. It's pretty wild.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. In the 70s. I feel like a male director could get away with that.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
While I was watching the Substance, I was like, if a man directed this, he should be arrested.
Katya
Yeah, I think that it does like. It is. It is reassuring that a woman director did that. But, you know, she has a real she in her other movie, revenge too. Like, she loves butts. Like, she has the butt count on this movie. Oh, yeah. It is like, leering and like, that Lens is, like, butt conscious, you know, and it's. I was thinking about how stressful for Margaret Qualley that must have been to play the perfect version of Demi Moore.
Bridger Weiniger
Nightmare.
Katya
Yikes.
Bridger Weiniger
Every day waking up and thinking, now my body has to be perfect again. Yes.
Katya
I mean, I think that they did, like, they, you know, they sort of shined it up in post a little bit, but, you know, it's like, fuck, that's a lot of pressure.
Bridger Weiniger
And they didn't have any butt doubles. Movies will do that occasionally.
Katya
Yeah, I don't think they did. Yeah, I don't think so.
Bridger Weiniger
How does. How is a butt double even found? Is there, like, a casting director?
Katya
Well, you think about, like, the people the. The. The team that are, like, the. Who stand in for. During lighting tests. You know, it's like that kind of thing.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. But it's like, do you go. Do you tell people you've got to look at my ass? This is perfect for Hollywood. Or is it somebody. Do they have people scouting?
Katya
Maybe it's like a modeling gig.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that makes sense. It's kind of like with, like, hand models.
Katya
Yeah. Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
That kind of thing.
Katya
Oh, my God. Hand models. I mean, have you seen, in foot models.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh. The most perfect parts of bodies that you could possibly see.
Katya
And then you look at your own hands. I'm like, oh, my God, am I the Crypt Keeper?
Bridger Weiniger
Right? Of course.
Katya
Am I 150 years old? Yeah. That Trixie's always getting on me, like, to put makeup on my hands because they're often translucent gray and purple. But yeah, like, it's. Yeah, it's interesting to have, like, a perfect part of your body and, like, make that your career.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. And know it and just, like, count on it. But it's gotta be scary knowing that it will deteriorate.
Katya
Oh, yeah. Well, the hands especially, of course, age. That's why all the. The aging stars wear gloves. No, they do.
Bridger Weiniger
I know. And a lot of people now are wearing gloves while driving.
Katya
Oh. But driving gloves are, you know, I.
Bridger Weiniger
Mean, it's so chic.
Katya
Yeah, totally. I mean, I should get some Fratelli Orsini.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Katya
Oh, Ital. An Italian brand. I don't know. They make exquisite leather gloves.
Bridger Weiniger
Telly Forcini, Fratelli or. Fratelli. Okay.
Katya
I believe is still a. Oh, my God. Buttery soft.
Bridger Weiniger
Do you have a pair?
Katya
I have several.
Bridger Weiniger
Are they in your glove box? Which I'm. Now it's just literally clicking. But that's where you would have your driving gloves.
Katya
No, I've never had. I'VE never driven with them, but they're black and red like driving gloves. Oh, they're so sexy. But I need. But I live in la. When are you going to wear it? Like, when are you. When are your hands cold?
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that's true.
Katya
You know.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, I have. I get cold feet. Bad circulation.
Katya
Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you have clammy hands?
Bridger Weiniger
No, really dry.
Katya
Really? I'm so jealous. Do your feet smell like, at the end of the day?
Bridger Weiniger
No, to yours.
Katya
Like the cat's ass. Yeah, because I'm sweaty and gross. It's always like, I. Somebody wanted to hold my hand. It was tricky. She wanted to hold, like, grab my hand. I was like, you don't want to do that. And she grabbed it anyway. She's like, oh, my God.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, I just like, I told you, this frictionless surface.
Katya
Yeah, it's really gross. Gross. Really gross.
Bridger Weiniger
I. I might invest in some driving.
Katya
Gloves or opera length or all the way up to the shoulder.
Bridger Weiniger
This podcast is very glove oriented, actually, because I have to do demonstrations with gifts and for the. On Instagram, I'll frequently have this. I have a particular pair of gloves that are now filthy.
Katya
What are they?
Bridger Weiniger
They're like white opera gloves. No, it's. It's probably like a cotton with a little embroidered. Okay, I didn't ask you.
Katya
Judgment must get filthy. Really?
Bridger Weiniger
You would not believe how dirty they are. No, I do.
Katya
I would believe it. White cotton gloves. Just asking for it.
Bridger Weiniger
And about half of our listeners are constantly demanding that I wash them and the other half are like, let them get as dirty as possible. I accidentally washed one the other day because I took them to New York and then one snuck into a pair of pants and got washed. Kind of a hopeful story. For the golf. I was like, oh, no, I left it in New York. And then I took the laundry and I was like, now it's kind of clean again. So I guess I'm satisfying both audiences now. One's clean, one's filthy.
Katya
That's great. Oh, yeah, right? That's nice.
Bridger Weiniger
But you should.
Katya
You deserve a pair of like, beautiful, buttery, soft, opera length, like up to the shoulder length red leather gloves from Italy.
Bridger Weiniger
Pulling those on every time I drive.
Katya
Oh, you will. It's like, I mean, I don't know if you're like, against, you know, vegan or whatever. Anti. Whatever. Anti leather. But they're so. It's like, oh, my God, they're so soft and they're so. So it's sumptuous.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, it sounds lovely. Kind of just a spa Day for your entire arm.
Katya
Yes, totally.
Bridger Weiniger
But what are you thinking when a friend pulls up to your house and you see them wearing driving gloves? Do you think what's going on? Or are you like, oh, I'm cool.
Katya
Are we? I was like, I would probably think like, are we. Is this an old timey movie or something? I don't know anybody who could really pull that off.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. It feels like such an affect movie.
Katya
Just like a Jimmy Stewart carrier grant, Jimmy Dean kind of thing or like Ryan Gosling. I don't know, like, I don't. Who is driving? Well also, what's the outfit?
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, it really has to match the whole look.
Katya
It's not like, it's not like athleisure.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. If you're just in your pajamas driving with this beautiful pair of gloves, what do you think?
Katya
I have to ask you, what is your opinion on people who wear flip flops in public in la?
Bridger Weiniger
It's a very. It's a tricky line to walk. I'll say. I feel like there are some certain people, I'm like, wow, they're just comfortable with what they're doing. Then there are other people. I'm like, you could pull it together a little bit more and you should give it 10% more effort.
Katya
Put on a shoe.
Bridger Weiniger
Put on a shoe, please. I'm trying to think if I've ever wore, I mean certainly in the past I have, but I don't think I would now. I think my feet are hideous and I don't want people looking at them. And also it just feels too casual. It's just not. I'm not on the beach.
Katya
Right.
Bridger Weiniger
And LA streets are absolutely filthy.
Katya
Filthy.
Bridger Weiniger
What's your take?
Katya
I think, I mean I have, I have been known to like walk out of the house to go collect something from like the car right. Outside, like run out to get the mail in. Slides with my feet exposed. I do. I'm now of really kind of solidly in the camp of don't ever wear the them out because it's. You're like disgusting because it's just gross.
Bridger Weiniger
It's filthy.
Katya
And I think it's more. I have more of a problem with that than not washing your hands after using the bathroom in a public restroom.
Bridger Weiniger
That actually makes sense.
Katya
My dick is not that dirty.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. Everyone's basically kind of clean, hopefully.
Katya
Yeah, I. I've showered like once or twice every day.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
My genitals, this. Sorry, this is gross. But my genitals are probably the cleanest part of my body.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
You know what I Mean, yeah, just like. And I like, I don't really touch the apparatus I use.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow, you're making a very good point here. Well, everyone's stuck. Stop washing your hands.
Katya
I was listening to this podcast I listen to all the time, and they were incredulous. They were like, the amount of people. It's a movie podcast. And they were both saying, the amount of people I see walking out of the men's room or the women's room without washing their hands, it's like 70%. It's disgusting, it's unconscionable, it's filthy, it's gross, it's nasty. And I'm like, well, I think touching all of the faucets and stuff is nasty and everything else. I just get in there. I don't, I just as little contact with the everything as possible and then I leave.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Katya
I don't know.
Bridger Weiniger
I think I have to pee on yourself. That would be.
Katya
Did I pee on myself?
Bridger Weiniger
If you did. I know there was situations.
Katya
Well, I should just clean up the toilet.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, okay. So now we're. Right now this is dangerous territory. I do think you should be washing your hands if you're cleaning up the toilet.
Katya
But I'm using a lot of toilet paper.
Bridger Weiniger
You gotta be using a lot.
Katya
Yeah, it's basically my hands are not getting saturated with urine.
Bridger Weiniger
Baseball mitt, level of toilet paper.
Katya
Of course I have my mitts on.
Bridger Weiniger
You go everywhere.
Katya
I think I'm digging myself into a really gross hole right now because I'm not making a good decision. I do sometimes wash my hands if I get off a plane. Usually because of the plane. Because of the plane.
Bridger Weiniger
Disgusting.
Katya
The plane's disgusting.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes, of course. So, no, I mean, I, I, I can see your argument here. I definitely can see.
Katya
I'm saying, like, the world is disgusting.
Bridger Weiniger
And yeah, like, if you're walking around in LA almost barefoot, you are walking through minimum animal pee, likely human pee.
Katya
Yeah. And if you're in San Francisco, there's a lot of human shit.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, yeah. I mean, all of this is happening constantly on these streets, on the sidewalks. And then you're like, if you're not showering before bed.
Katya
Oh, wait, do you shower before bed?
Bridger Weiniger
No, I don't. But I wear shoes in bed. I should. You make a very good point. I'll be ready to go completely naked. Shoes.
Katya
Laced loafers, you know, like from Floor Shine, ready for church, super, super shiny, like dress shoes. Well, my grandmother was so hyper vigilant, she would, like sleep with one leg on the floor.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow.
Katya
I Mean, like, she would be like this, like, I mean, perched and prepped, like, at a moment's notice to just fly out of bed. I don't think it did her a lot of good in the end.
Bridger Weiniger
Like, the long run time still got her. No. Do you shower before bed?
Katya
I think it depends on what I do during the day. I think I'm generally more of a dirty person. I'm not ocd. I'm the opposite of ocd, which I think is a pig. And I don't like. I'm glad I'm not super.
Bridger Weiniger
No, I mean, it's kind of paralyzing.
Katya
Yeah, it's really tough. And I think, although sometimes it does prevent me from allowing people in my home. Because, like, for example, if, like, my friend came over the other day and. And I had anxiety, I was like. And I. I couldn't tell him not to go upstairs because I know he would.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Katya
Of course now I'm thinking of, like, doing like a chain or like a gate or something because my bathroom was like, looked like the. The room from Saw. It was so gross.
Bridger Weiniger
Blood everywhere.
Katya
Yeah, like, so gross. Like, shamefully and like, gross. Like you need help, like professional help. Gross. But. But then I, you know, I go through phases where I clean it and it's fine.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, I. Super clean freak. You seem like, very tidy. I wouldn't say I'm like a clean freak, but like, I like things to be put away at the very least. But, like, getting out the Lysol and like the bleach and everything to clean the house is not happening. Okay, I'll vacuum.
Katya
Oh, wait, we gotta talk about vacuums.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I love to talk about vacuums.
Katya
I recently learned. I recently learned. The good news. I recently. I'm like a born again vacuum person. Because for the longest time I thought, oh, my God, of course, it's the Dyson Mary. Fuck that Dyson. It's the Mila.
Bridger Weiniger
What's this?
Katya
M I, E L E that is not paid. They don't know anything about me, but it is the only vacuum.
Bridger Weiniger
Now, is this a bag vacuum?
Katya
See, here's the thing. Yes. And it's a corded vacuum, which if you're used to the battery powered, not corded. It's a tough transition. But guess what? This vacuum actually fucking works. Whereas the Dyson doesn't. Doesn't work. And if you put it on high, that battery, that'll give you about 38 seconds of activity.
Bridger Weiniger
Battery powered. You've got. You're gonna be recharging constantly.
Katya
You put it on high. It's literally 10 seconds. What?
Bridger Weiniger
Then you're exhausted.
Katya
It's horrible. I get that. The convenience is very seductive. The lack of cord is very seductive.
Bridger Weiniger
Go anywhere. Take it on your trips.
Katya
Absolutely. You know, but. And it is a quite an adjustment because I'm a big vacuumer. I love to vacuum. And the cord is a real. And it's a little heavy and it's, you know, but it works. It works. And it's expensive, though.
Bridger Weiniger
How much does it cost?
Katya
The one I bought was $800.
Bridger Weiniger
$800.
Katya
But I'm never going to buy another vacuum. I'm never gonna buy a vacuum. I'm never gonna buy it.
Bridger Weiniger
It's probably very sturdy. Right.
Katya
And the amount of time I use it. Oh, it's incredible. When you go to the store, they pour a bunch of kitty litter on the floor to, like, do the demonstration. And you're like, okay, I'll take it. Cause it just works.
Bridger Weiniger
What store is this?
Katya
The vacuum store.
Bridger Weiniger
I have to go. I want that demo.
Katya
It's in. It's called. I think it's called Beverly Hills Vacuum, and it's on Santa Monica Boulevard towards Beverly Hills.
Bridger Weiniger
Did you expect this whole demo?
Katya
I did not.
Bridger Weiniger
Sounds delightful.
Katya
Oh, it was incredible. He was like an old dude. It's a small store. He's amazing. And he'll, like, show you all the models. And it looks like a 50s housewife kind of thing. They were like, really retro looking. Like those smeg refrigerators.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I love.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. I actually listened not to brag to an episode of a podcast about vacuums.
Katya
What was. What were they saying?
Bridger Weiniger
Essentially what you're saying right now, you don't want to get one of these. Like, I don't even know the cordless or the clear thing that shows you how much dust is going into it. They're like, get the old fashioned ones.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
And the other thing they say on it is the best vacuuming is done as you're pulling backwards.
Katya
Oh, I've never.
Bridger Weiniger
I just. And this was coming from a vacuum expert.
Katya
Well, that makes tons of sense, though, because it's. You're not pushing.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. And you feel the drag. You really feel it sucking things out.
Katya
And then it's got the attachments. So one's for the rug and one's for the hardwood floor. And the difference is so like, oh, it's just so satisfying.
Bridger Weiniger
$800.
Katya
It was $850 with tax. Yeah. It was like. I was like, oof. And I know that's out of people's price range. But Dyson's are, like, $400.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. I mean, a regular vacuum is not that cheap.
Katya
No. And it's a very important part of a person with a home's life.
Bridger Weiniger
It's a sort of, like, purchase, like a mattress, where you're like, well, I'm using this constantly.
Katya
It's. It's like a car purchase.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. I think you just justify it by, like, being. I don't. I don't spend any money. I use this every single day.
Katya
Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
And so it's essentially scents for a day.
Katya
Absolutely. If you break it down, it's really, like, probably like 10 rubles a day.
Bridger Weiniger
You know, for 10 rubles a day, you will be sucking up as much cat litter as you want.
Katya
Everything. All that will get sucked. It really, really works.
Bridger Weiniger
So how long have you owned this vacuum?
Katya
For about two years now.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Katya
And I have no complaints.
Bridger Weiniger
And was your house pretty dusty before that? Was the vacuum not doing a great job?
Katya
Well, I also sew in my. I sew costumes in my home, so there's sequins everywhere. Beads.
Bridger Weiniger
Just notions. Notions.
Katya
Notions. Threads in carpet.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
So I really need that extra suckage. And it just really gets me. It really, really does its job. Love it.
Bridger Weiniger
I know. I. I think vacuuming is a very satisfying chore. You see the results immediately.
Katya
It is immediate. Yeah. The. The. The dopamine hit is like.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, right?
Katya
Like, bam, bam, bam. Sustained. Like, awesome.
Bridger Weiniger
Did you mow lawns as a kid?
Katya
I've never mowed a lawn.
Bridger Weiniger
It's a similar thing where you're like, oh, I'm seeing how clean, like, it's cleaning things up. I'm just. I'm essentially just pushing something, and it's. The results are here. I don't have to wait.
Katya
But doesn't it, like, f. Fling the. The grass?
Bridger Weiniger
Like, it depends on the lawnmower. The one I would use as a kid had a bag that had to be emptied.
Katya
Gotcha. I love that. That freshly.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, and the smell is so nice. You're out in the sun, no complaints.
Katya
What about. What about the buggy or, like the.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, the drive or. What is that called? A wheeled lawn? No, I. Sit down. Sit down lawnmower.
Katya
A tractor. I don't know. I don't know. That's for. That's for, like, rich people.
Bridger Weiniger
I don't know. What is that called? Annelise, is there an official thing for a lawnmower that you drive? Either a ride on mower or tractor? Mower.
Katya
Tractor.
Bridger Weiniger
Mower. Okay. Ride on mower. I don't think I would like that as much.
Katya
I mean, I think it's like that to me is in the fame the same family as snowmobiles. And that's scary to me.
Bridger Weiniger
But to be driving a lawnmower that goes as fast as a snowmobile. Now there's an invention.
Katya
You could get a lot done in a day.
Bridger Weiniger
My God, that feels like Terrifier four.
Katya
Yeah. Yeah, totally. Oh, my God.
Bridger Weiniger
A clown on a ride on. More.
Katya
Oh, well, there was that. There was that movie where this. The. The little child mowed over her parents, but I don't think it was. I don't think it was the tractor style. I think it was the regular one.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. Okay. Well, the movies. I think we have a new idea for the movie business. Somebody drive over someone.
Katya
Yes. And it could. Hey, listen, Damien Lyonne, please cast me in the Terrifier Part four. And you can. I was trying to think of, like, what would be a fun way to kill me as a drag queen. And I'm like. I think he should, like, maybe, like, take my stiletto heels and, like, gouge them in my eyeballs. And then, like. And then have Art, like, punch a hole through my mouth in the back of my head and then stick my wig through it and out. I don't know. Like, it'd be so cool. I really wanna get killed by Art the Clown. I'm just trying to put it out there.
Bridger Weiniger
The next scene, I am run over by a lawnmower. 70 miles an hour.
Katya
Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
It's incredible. I mean, actually, do you know what I was gonna ask you or tell you? I just recently saw for the first time the Hand that Rocks the Cradle.
Katya
Oh, my.
Bridger Weiniger
How have I gone this long without seeing this movie?
Katya
Oh, my God.
Bridger Weiniger
Delightful in.
Katya
You know, Rebecca De Mornay is.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, she's so good.
Katya
Julianne Moore was fabulous in that.
Bridger Weiniger
What a surprise. I didn't even know she was in it.
Katya
Yeah, she's like, oh. Oh, my God. When she's like. She comes home, she's like, where the fuck is Claire? She's in the greenhouse and it's like, oh, my God. And then what she says to Solomon Peyton Flanders. Which she's. I cannot repeat it here, but she is so. Oh, my God. It's so.
Bridger Weiniger
And then she kind of cracks the case with the windshine. It's so funny.
Katya
Yeah. I'm looking for a wind chime. You know where I can get one, Mrs. Mott? Oh, so cunty. And it's just like. Like, I don't know if, you know, I Always like, these, like, beloved of movies of mine from the 90s. Sometimes I rewatch them and I'm like, oh, God, this is trash. But I love that movie.
Bridger Weiniger
It's very fun. I've told a couple other people that I watched it recently and they said to me, oh, it's so scary. And that was one element that I was like, no, it's not. It's very fun to watch.
Katya
Peyton Flanders.
Bridger Weiniger
That's.
Katya
What a pseudony. What a pseudonym. I mean, if you're like. That sounds very. Like, I won't kill you if my name is completely.
Bridger Weiniger
No one's asking anything about Peyton Flanders.
Katya
Flanders. The breast pump, the wind chime. A lot of, like, little clues in that movie.
Bridger Weiniger
I love, of course, her appearing from behind the school bus to be the nanny. Hello, I'm just a normal woman who wants a nanny job off the street.
Katya
Crazy. It's so.
Bridger Weiniger
Don't ask any questions. No. It's such a good time watching the.
Katya
Hand that Rocks the Cradle is the Hand that Rules the World. I've never heard that before. That's not an expression. It's not an expression.
Bridger Weiniger
It's not an expression that's sewn on a pillow somewhere. I mean, it sounds so much like a real expression, though. You're like, oh, I guess I just never heard that one. But it's also so evil sounding. It's like, what?
Katya
So, I mean, it's like a really evil premise too. Like she's sexually assaulted by a gynecologist and then. And then that gynecologist is outed, commits suicide, and then his. His widowed wife gets revenge on the woman who. Who, like, outed. You know, I was like, crazy. Yeah. It's like, really fucked up. Really, really fucked up.
Bridger Weiniger
Very confused.
Katya
Renee plays evil very well.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, she's fantastic.
Katya
Cutting that apple with the knife and like.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, anybody cutting an apple with a knife, you know, something's up. Something's up. It's going up.
Katya
Yeah, something.
Bridger Weiniger
They're going to steal your husband or kill you in a greenhouse.
Katya
Yeah. They're breastfeeding your child.
Bridger Weiniger
No question.
Katya
Yeah, yeah. And they're. They're sabotaging your friends. Yeah. It's crazy. What's your favorite movie?
Bridger Weiniger
We'll say, like, from the movie from the 90s. Okay. I mean, I could maybe we just say from the 80s. Just so I have an answer. I would say I love. It's probably a tie between After Hours and King of Comedy.
Katya
I have seen neither of them.
Bridger Weiniger
Neither of them.
Katya
No.
Bridger Weiniger
They're delightful.
Katya
I'm sure. Is that Martin Scorsese movies?
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, both superseen movies.
Katya
Oh, they're both squizzies.
Bridger Weiniger
And they're both like very out of his normal thing because they're kind of like surreal comedies. And they're both very funny, both very strange and like immediately entertaining in the way that 80s movies are where you're like, there's no boredom, you're just into it.
Katya
Don't you love a movie that has not one extra fucking scene, like no superfluous moments, not one fucking sentence, doesn't.
Bridger Weiniger
Belong there, you know, Full control.
Katya
It's great.
Bridger Weiniger
What's your favorite movie?
Katya
My quick answer is Witches of Eastwick.
Bridger Weiniger
I've never seen it.
Katya
It's fucking great.
Bridger Weiniger
And what?
Katya
Every scene's fabulous tonally.
Bridger Weiniger
Is it creepy? Is it fun?
Katya
It's the super. It's a. I mean, what is. It's a thriller kinda. It's funny, it's sexy. It's like. It's three women who've discovered that they're witches and then they conjure the devil to move into their small New England town, played by Jack Nicholson. And then they become like this. Sex. Well, I won't give it away, but it's amazing. And there's. It's like Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon, Veronica Cartwright, who chews up the scenery. Something Jenkins who plays. He's great. And Jack Nicholson is just. He's Jack nicholsoning in this movie.
Bridger Weiniger
He's such a good pull for the devil.
Katya
He is so incredible in this role.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I've got a cg.
Katya
You have to see it.
Bridger Weiniger
It sounds delightful.
Katya
You have to see it. The CG at the end is very unfortunate.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, sure.
Katya
Right at the last bit it gets very bad. It's. Cause it's just not. They didn't really have that back then. It was like 88, I think.
Bridger Weiniger
There are certain movies. I remember, like that whole Star wars situation where they replace all of the special effects with CG and it was a giant disaster. But I feel like if a movie has bad cg, we should go back and help them out.
Katya
Right? I was like, you know, it's funny like this movie because of that. I think, oh, it should be redone. It was like, no, because you cannot replace those three women. That's a trifecta. That cannot.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh no, you're not going to find them again. Who would that possibly be?
Katya
No, I mean, it'd have to be like Emma Stone. There's not Cher is so Cher in this movie. She's so fucking good.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I'm so excited. Maybe this is tonight.
Katya
She's not Cher.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh. She's as an actor. Oh, my God. Moonstruck is phenomenal.
Katya
Yeah. My film critic friend and an author. I was, like, having a tough time a little while ago, and she's like, hey, if you really need, like, a pick me up, one of the, like, never fail good, feel good movies as Moonstruck, and I'd never seen it before, and she was 100% right.
Bridger Weiniger
So charming.
Katya
It's charming and it's lovely and it's like an ethnic comedy.
Bridger Weiniger
It's just so lovely and the mood is just right. Yeah.
Katya
Nicholas Cage is so funny and hot in it.
Bridger Weiniger
He can be so funny.
Katya
Yes.
Bridger Weiniger
I love Raising Arizona.
Katya
Me, too.
Bridger Weiniger
Such a good movie.
Katya
Yeah. What's your favorite horror movie?
Bridger Weiniger
Favorite? Okay, so this. Probably the Haunting.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
Or like, if. And like I said, if I wanted to be genuinely scared. The Stranger.
Katya
Oh, yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
With Liv Tyler. And I'll say this is not a horror movie, but it is so scary to me as Zodiac. I think the scariness of it is so well done that you're terrified. Yes. What's your favorite horror movie?
Katya
I would probably say. I would probably say Candyman, but it's not necessarily my most rewatchable horror movie. I like A Nightmare on elm Street Part 3.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. I've never. I've only seen the original Dream Warriors. Oh.
Katya
I mean, they all get cheesy, but. But, like. Yeah. I don't know. I think the substance is definitely, like, up there. I think that's probably my favorite horror movie right now.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow. Yeah, that makes sense.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
But it also doesn't.
Katya
Oh, sorry.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, no, go ahead.
Katya
I mean, it's not horror, essentially, but kinds of kindness.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I've only seen the first third of it.
Katya
Okay. There's another two.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. I kind of went just thinking, I know this is three things. So I get to see one, and then I get to see the next two. I need to see it.
Katya
I highly suggest you watch the next two because. Because it's really. It's an art film.
Bridger Weiniger
Sure.
Katya
I mean, I can't. Like, I know my friends who, like, are not. They don't watch subtitled movies or, like, you know, that kind of uncultured smile.
Bridger Weiniger
Losers.
Katya
Yeah, yeah. Dumb people. They. Well, they hate it because it's like, what is this?
Bridger Weiniger
Right. I don't want to think about this after I leave.
Katya
It was so. I was electrified.
Bridger Weiniger
I really liked the first third.
Katya
Oh, my God.
Bridger Weiniger
I didn't leave, like, oh, I have to get out of Here it was just cooky. Oh, kooky or sex cult. Oh. What? I had no idea.
Katya
Where they test the purity of you by putting you in a super hot sauna and then licking the salt from your belly button. Yes. Did you see the part where she. He makes her cut?
Bridger Weiniger
No, I don't think so.
Katya
You're in for a treat.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I'm so excited. It really is a perfect thing because you can just dip in and watch a 45 minute movie and then fucking love that.
Katya
Because I'm like, I don't have the stamina or the endurance. Cause I'm not on my. If I'm watching a movie, I'm not on my phone.
Bridger Weiniger
Of course.
Katya
Like, I'd rather just be on my phone.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
And not have a movie problem.
Bridger Weiniger
I have a problem looking and just wasting my life away. And I'm going to do that rather than watch.
Katya
Yeah, I'll just doom scroll and get carpal tunnel and quick neck. But the movie has nothing to do with that. Plus, I don't want to watch a movie. That makes me want to look at my phone.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's why I have to go to a movie theater.
Katya
I love the theater.
Bridger Weiniger
But this is my. And I've said this a million times on this podcast. I have that like MoviePass thing or whatever.
Katya
Stubbs member.
Bridger Weiniger
Stubbs member. And so if a movie's over three hours long or three hours, I only see the first half, then I leave. Get out of here. And if I like the first half, I'll go back. But you're not. You are not trapping me.
Katya
That is very interesting.
Bridger Weiniger
You gotta try it. The feeling of walking out halfway through it feels truly like you got out of jail.
Katya
Well, yeah, that's like when I left. When I cut school to watch hanging up the movie and then left like 45 minutes in. But I rarely walk out of a theater. I walked out of Twisters.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, you walked out.
Katya
Because I. My friend. My friend and I were like, we're gonna go see this. We know it's gonna be bad. It was so bad.
Bridger Weiniger
It's a very stupid movie.
Katya
There is a line. The mom, Maura Tierney, says she always loved weather. Talking about her daughter like she always loved weather. Like, what the fuck? So bad. We walked out before even, like the finale set piece was over. Like, let's get the fuck out of here. Have you walked out of movies because you hated them?
Bridger Weiniger
Yes, there have been a couple and I can't remember what they were, but they were like, they're the sort of movie where you're like, this isn't entertaining bad. I'm bored. And it's just. Yeah. It's like, I don't need to be here anymore. But I wish I could think of them off the top of my head.
Katya
You know, I was in. I was super tired and in a terrible mood when I saw May December, which I really regret because that's so good. It is. Like, when I read about criticism about it is like, oh, that's not the movie I saw. Damn it. I need to rewatch it. Yeah. Because it's kind of. It's like, again, not for like a dummy.
Bridger Weiniger
Right. There's like a discomfort that, like, you have to. Yeah, the nuance is the discomfort. You're like, oh, there's a reason for this.
Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
That movie, I was shocked that I watched it through the entire thing at home without looking at my phone.
Katya
That's impressive.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean. Yes. All credit to me and not the movie.
Katya
What about Killers of the Flower Moon? Who saw that in the theater?
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. Now I have to do a reveal. I went with people to see it and I was trapped for the whole thing.
Katya
Did you have a pee bag or a catheter?
Bridger Weiniger
I had to leave. I had to, like, walk out and pee halfway through the movie. Oh, yeah, because you're like, now I've lost. I've missed part of.
Katya
It's a pivotal plot point. And then you have no reference for, like, or context. I can't leave the theater. I can't leave the theater.
Bridger Weiniger
I had read the book, so I knew what was going. Yeah, everyone, let's repeat that. I had read the book.
Katya
I read books.
Bridger Weiniger
But. And I will say, unfortunately, the book is better.
Katya
Okay, well, I mean, it often is.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, it's also a history book, so the details are just way more interesting. But I sat through, I think, a Scorsese movie. You're like, I guess I'll give it to you. You're 80 years old and you made this thing. I'll watch your 90 hour film.
Katya
She's almost four hours. That one. That was like three and a half good long hours.
Bridger Weiniger
And you walk out of the theater and you're not in a different state.
Katya
Oh, it's. It's so sad and horrible.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. You should be traveling if it takes that long.
Katya
Yeah, yeah. I mean, a great airplane movie.
Bridger Weiniger
I've gotten really bad at watching airplane movies. I don't know why.
Katya
Well, do you do that thing? I know a lot of people do this. I, for some reason do it too. I put on my own movie, but then I watch somebody else's movie.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, of course you're distracted.
Katya
I can't help but know.
Bridger Weiniger
I want to know what's going on in their brain that made them watch that movie.
Katya
And I'll watch it even if I don't want to watch it. Like, I could have the movie I've always wanted to see on my screen, but then they're watching like, Love is Blind season three, and I'll have to watch it. It's so weird.
Bridger Weiniger
You want to know what's going on over there?
Katya
Yeah. I'm curious. Is about Carol from Cincinnati.
Bridger Weiniger
I hope there's a Carol from Cincinnati on it.
Katya
Of course there is.
Bridger Weiniger
She's 95.
Katya
Have you ever seen somebody cry in an airplane?
Bridger Weiniger
I've cried on. On an airplane. Because I think there have been some sort of studies where you're just like, weirdly more emotional at 30,000ft. Yeah. Something happens to your body where it's like kind of like being sick. Because if I watch something while I'm sick, I'll cry. Cry.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
I've cried at Shark Tank while having strep throat.
Katya
I remember watching Honda, like Toyota Thon commercials.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, yeah. This sort of thing will just make me sob. Have you ever seen. I mean, you must have seen somebody crying on a plane.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Was it like a hysterical.
Katya
No, no, not like a. Not like a wailing.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Katya
Not like a. Like a North Korean funeral wailing. Not like that. But like, I. I'll definitely cry. I'm. You're right. I'm definitely more susceptible to like, like emotional. I get sad on airplanes.
Bridger Weiniger
I think you can, like, be more manipulated. And I think that's why movies are more enjoyable on planes.
Katya
Yeah. Flying sucks.
Bridger Weiniger
It's the worst feeling in the world. It's getting worse and worse.
Katya
Yeah. I mean, I was. My friend was telling me about how like back in the day, like on the Concorde or whatever, it would be like, you know, smoking and like Steak Diane and clams Casino and people would be like, you know, no seatbelts. I mean, they're swing dancing in the thing. You know, it's like a wild, like crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
This exciting.
Katya
Bring that back.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Bring back the glamour.
Katya
Yeah. Bring back the. People would dress up to go to the airport, you know, and like, it be a whole event and kind of like, I don't know, like going out on a Saturday night and, you know, smoking cigars and stuff.
Bridger Weiniger
It's now worse than a bus.
Katya
Oh, it's worse than it's Way worse than a bus and scarier. Yeah. And the. I still just don't really understand why we have the farce of TSA and all that stuff.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, it's also. And the. I'm sorry, but the liquids, the 3 ounces. I'm like, I'm. We've got a.
Katya
So crazy. In a country that allows, like, gun violence.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Katya
Do you know what I mean?
Bridger Weiniger
You cannot take your shampoo.
Katya
You cannot take 4 ounces of Albalene makeup remover. But you can buy a gun today.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Anywhere.
Katya
Four guns today, actually. Like, it's so, so fucking crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
And they won't even, as far as I know, let you bring on, like, a larger bottle that has less than 3 ounces. If it's a larger bottle and it still has liquid in it, that doesn't matter, they'll make you throw it away.
Katya
And it's even worse in the uk like traveling within England. They're so fucking strict. And then Australia, too. It's just so flop, flop, flop.
Bridger Weiniger
And if you're. I'm part of the pre check thing, why bother? Let me take my things through.
Katya
I'm a trusted traveler. You're a global entry. You better. I should be able to walk in with a machete.
Bridger Weiniger
You should be able to fly the plane.
Katya
Exactly. I should be able to walk in with. Just strapped. With water bottles. Guns in my. Like, guns in a holster. Knives, like a flamethrower. Come on. Wait. Let me ask you if you could have. Ooh. I have two questions. If you could become fluent in a language by chopping off one of your fingers.
Bridger Weiniger
Ooh.
Katya
Would you. And what would you do? What would you do?
Bridger Weiniger
Which finger or which language?
Katya
Both.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. I would probably do. I would probably do my. One of my ring fingers. I feel like that's probably the least necessary.
Katya
I think you're right.
Bridger Weiniger
And. Oh. I'm trying to think either practical or interesting. And I would probably go. I. I would probably pick Japanese.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
Because it's not as practical. It's not as useful any as many places. But I. I think it's an interesting.
Katya
Very handy. In Japan.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. Certainly go to Japan. Yeah. Almost nowhere else. What about you?
Katya
I would probably. I mean, I would want to give, like a whole hand up. I do. I would do both ring fingers. I do Mandarin and then I would do Arabic.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, both. Probably difficult languages to learn.
Katya
Exactly.
Bridger Weiniger
Finnish or the other. Impossible.
Katya
Going to Finland, you know, and then I would. Even though I know, like, I'm like beginner intermediate in Russian, I just want to be absolutely Fluent in Russian, because there's still a lot of places I speak Russian. And then Urdu or Pashto is like some. A Middle Eastern language. And then I think that's it. I would get.
Bridger Weiniger
Now fingerless.
Katya
I would have. I would have, like.
Bridger Weiniger
You'd be able to like, open drawers.
Katya
Penguin.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Pinch people.
Katya
I'd have my, like, latex penguin gloves. It'd be cunty.
Bridger Weiniger
I can't believe they don't have. In the Penguin TV show. They should have done the finger thing at the very least.
Katya
Okay, so what in the hell is it?
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, I. Everything about your reaction right now is summing up how I feel. Okay.
Katya
By the way. Wait. I just have to say, I love prestige television. It keeps my blood red. I love. I yearn and live for a Sunday night Must See TV moment.
Bridger Weiniger
Of course.
Katya
And now I know that doesn't exist anymore. Really?
Bridger Weiniger
No.
Katya
But these. Well produced, well written, big budget, megawatt star, awesome Must See TV moments series. Fucking love that shit. Love that shit. But the Penguin for me, is not that. It's where it's real.
Bridger Weiniger
It wants to be.
Katya
It's grounded in reality. There's no supernatural elements whatsoever.
Bridger Weiniger
And there's a possibility for that. The guy is called the Penguin, based on a character that usually has, like a penguin assistant or something.
Katya
Right. Is he just. He has a limp. That's why they call him.
Bridger Weiniger
He looks kind of ugly and has a limp. He doesn't live in the sewer. He doesn't love the cold. Yeah.
Katya
I love. He's just like a mob guy.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. He's kind of like a bad Tony Soprano.
Katya
And it's Colin Farrell, like, that man is so hot.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Katya
Why don't you just cast an ugly actor?
Bridger Weiniger
There are so many ugly men out there that are like, it could have been me.
Katya
Oh, my God. So many incredible ugly actors. Especially men. Tons. Like, tons. But I just watched the Perfect Couple on Netflix, which I, like, call Shitty Little Love Lotus because it's Big Little Lies plus the White Lotus. But it doesn't.
Bridger Weiniger
I watched about six minutes.
Katya
My God, the Nicole's wig is just so unwatched. It's just so. It's so flagrant and horrible.
Bridger Weiniger
And it's like. It's. It's a category of, like, wanting to be campy. That. And that doesn't work for me.
Katya
It just never finds the right. It's. It's like a shitty little lotus.
Bridger Weiniger
That's such a perfect.
Katya
Yeah, I think it is the perfect way to describe it, but I watched Shrinking.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I haven't Seen Shrinking.
Katya
I adore it. Oh, Harrison Ford, Jason Segel and. I can't remember the other actors.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, former guest of the show, Michael Urie's in it and I love him.
Katya
Yes, he's fabulous. Yes, I've met him a few times. He is fabulous in it. Great writing and lovable, funny characters. Adult people saying adult words. Having adult relationships grounded in reality, like their therapy. And Michael Urie's a lawyer and it's just so. I love it so much. And I watched the whole. Whatever you can watch. I watched it all yesterday.
Bridger Weiniger
What a recommendation.
Katya
Yeah, I highly recommend it. Harrison Ford is like this older, disgruntled therapist with Parkinson's. And Jason Segel is like a therapist too. It's just so. I love it. It's a breath of fresh air.
Bridger Weiniger
Have you watched Disclaimer?
Katya
That came on automatically after I finished Shrinking. I don't know if I'm on board for it.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm trying to figure out if I like it or not. It reminds me. The thing I like is it reminds me a bit of like those, like, late 90s, early thousands thrillers for adults.
Katya
Well, like Disclosure.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Katya
That's what I think of, like, Indecent Proposals.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, it's very much in that tone.
Katya
I want. I love that genre of movie where it's like. Those are movies for adults.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. Strictly for teenagers are gonna think this is a dull.
Katya
Yeah, it's like. And sometimes they really fly off the like. I would say Basic Instinct is one of those.
Bridger Weiniger
Completely.
Katya
Oh, my God. Really? Paul Verhoeven is like. That is crazy. Have you seen Benedetta?
Bridger Weiniger
No, I haven't even heard of this.
Katya
Oh, it's. I think it's his most recent film. It's a French movie, takes place in like the. Maybe like 16th century at a convent. A lesbian nun thriller. Oh, Stigmata. Like lesbian Stigmata, Nun. The lead of Virginie, Efira is like this hot blonde actress and there's a moment where, when she's a little girl, a statue of the Virgin Mary falls on her and she licks the tit. It's great. It's great. I highly recommend it.
Bridger Weiniger
Delightful.
Katya
Ooh, And Love Lies Bleeding. Have you seen that?
Bridger Weiniger
Wait. Oh, I loved it. It's so good. I couldn't call it to mind because the title doesn't quite match what the movie is.
Katya
Right. I thought of it because she did her first movie, Rose Glass, with Saint Maud, which was.
Bridger Weiniger
I haven't seen that.
Katya
Oh, that's fucking cool. Crisp, 89 minutes.
Bridger Weiniger
See? And Love Lies Bleeding Is kind of in that same category.
Katya
What about Ed Harris in that?
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, he's so chomping it up.
Katya
Chomping it up. So that motherfucker is so grizzled and to such glorious effect.
Bridger Weiniger
Such a character. Character. And the movie is just entertaining from start to finish and has the ending is like. I'm like, they earned this bizarre thing that's happening.
Katya
Yeah, it's. It's dirty, it's horny, it's nasty, it's kind of. It's weird. It's like outrageous. I loved it.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Katya
Kristen Stewart is a raunchy dyke in this movie.
Bridger Weiniger
She's so good in it.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
And what, who, who's the bodybuilder?
Katya
I don't know. I'm not sure what her name is. She's fabulous.
Bridger Weiniger
She's really good. I feel like Katie O'Brien. Katie O'Brien.
Katya
Good old Katie O'Brien.
Bridger Weiniger
Katie O.Brien. reach out.
Katya
Yes, please, we're begging you.
Bridger Weiniger
I wonder if this is her first movie.
Katya
I don't know.
Bridger Weiniger
Interesting, because I had never heard of her. And I was like, this person is unbelievable.
Katya
Wait, someone mentioned the other day, like this, the trend of actors who are doing these Marvel movies or action movies, when they go on the press junket and they're talking about all the unseasoned chicken they had to eat.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, right.
Katya
Just say you did fucking steroids.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Katya
You did steroids.
Bridger Weiniger
We all know you took steroids. Yes.
Katya
Like you got anabolic steroids to create.
Bridger Weiniger
This body because it's literally impossible otherwise.
Katya
Yeah. Because in nine months, you can't go from a relatively regular kind of fit human body to Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bridger Weiniger
No, it's just. It's not possible.
Katya
But they're like, oh, my God, I had to eat so much broccoli and spinach and chicken every two hours in my training. I was like, yeah. And then also steroids.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. You were shooting up.
Katya
That's crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
Also, why does the chicken have to be unseasoned? Throw some salt and pepper on it.
Katya
I know. Or a little sriracha or whatever calorie.
Bridger Weiniger
Free, like, carb for. You can have all sorts of flavorful chicken.
Katya
Even when they. When they try to say, oh, I had to blend it up and drink it, I was like, no, you know, you took it. Put a needle in your ass, you fucking liar. God, I hate that shit.
Bridger Weiniger
It is. I mean, it's the same thing with Ozempic where it's like, we all just know that this works. And, like, you're kind of Creating a problem for normal people. When you're saying that you didn't cheat.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
It's like, just say, I wanted this and I cheated.
Katya
Yeah. That's why I like Russia so much. They cheat no matter what. Like, yeah, completely. With sports, like, they will find a way to cheat no matter what. Because it's about winning.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Katya
So it's like, they're not playing by the same rules because, like, they're like. Don't you. Is this about winning? Great. So we're gonna win according to your rules. And it's like. It's so. It's so cunty. I mean, they got banned from the Olympics, but, like, it was like. Did you ever see the documentary about the doping and.
Bridger Weiniger
No. And I wanted to.
Katya
I've heard it's amazing because they. They had, like, separate labs. I mean, they really went and the full. Like, they really, really, really scammed the Olympics.
Bridger Weiniger
The need and want to win a sport.
Katya
Love it.
Bridger Weiniger
Good for them.
Katya
Glory, glory.
Bridger Weiniger
And I should say that part is cheating. I feel like with Ozempic, it's not so much cheating. It's just like, this is a thing that you can do.
Katya
Yeah. I think, honestly, this is not. I don't think this would. I think athletes to be able to do whatever they want, turn into monsters. Turn into absolute, like, hideous monsters to get the goals.
Bridger Weiniger
It's more interesting. Yeah.
Katya
Like, do whatever it takes. Like, I mean, take all the steroids. Like, take every single drug. Do whatever it takes to win. And then that'll be so interesting.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. To see this absolute monster riding a bicycle or like, this beast in the.
Katya
Water with, like, this grown fins or whatever. You know, like, let's let it rip. Who cares?
Bridger Weiniger
Let's see things we haven't seen before. We've. We've watched normal people win.
Katya
Yeah. And also, there's no real level playing field. Like, it's all political. It's all people.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. Go for it. Become an absolute monster thing from another realm and win the gold.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm behind you.
Katya
Yeah. I love that shit.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, is there anything left we need to say about tampons?
Katya
I'm not really sure. I've never used one myself, but I know that many women in my life swear by them.
Bridger Weiniger
What an unbelievably practical. It is the sort of thing where it's like, two people who cannot speak to it that much. But it's such a practical thing now. It's just a great gift.
Katya
Yes. Something to have in the house. Like Band Aids. Yes. Band Aids.
Bridger Weiniger
Advil.
Katya
Advil thank you. Also, I was gonna bring something that was like, quirky and weird, but I was like, I don't want to bring a dagger. I have so many of them. I didn't want to bring the lizard because it's so bulky. You would have broken the tail. And then I was like, would he want.
Bridger Weiniger
That's an assumption that I would have broken the tail.
Katya
No, because it's very fragile.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm very careful.
Katya
And then the last thing was a candle snupper, which I thought was like, like, too weird.
Bridger Weiniger
And if you bring me a candle snuffer, you should bring me old fashioned pajamas. And the hat.
Katya
Yeah, totally. And a candelabra.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, and a candelabra. The whole scrooge look. But no, this can just go beneath the bathroom cabinet. And now people, 45 of them, too. 45. This could last me, who knows?
Katya
A long time.
Bridger Weiniger
A long time. Or if I have tons of women that need them.
Katya
Yeah. For the women's retreat you're hosting next week.
Bridger Weiniger
Next week.
Katya
Oh, wait, I do have something to promote.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, well, this is the exact time because we're about to play a game.
Katya
Okay, let's do it.
Bridger Weiniger
And I need a number between one and 10 from you.
Katya
Seven.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you have the mic. You can recommend, promote, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.
Katya
Okay, so I, me, Trixie Mattel and myself, we will be going on the road doing live podcast and you should come because some of the cities are not selling very well right now. And you can get the information to where those places are@trixiancatlive.com and then also be nice to each other and pick up your garbage. Don't litter. Give a hoot. And yeah, don't worry about drinking so much water.
Bridger Weiniger
A bunch of dehydrated people keeping the streets clean. I feel like we kind of fell off with the litter message.
Katya
I would. Honestly, sometimes I feel that I would sooner forgive murder than throwing McDonald's bag out the window onto the street.
Bridger Weiniger
Seriously. What a wild thing for a human to do. To just be like. Not mine.
Katya
No, no. My friend who used to drive me to school in high school did it all the time.
Bridger Weiniger
That would just never even occur to me.
Katya
That's a whole bag too. Like, if we got all like, you know, like three orders, like a bag, like this much bigger than this, just. Just out the window onto the middle of the suburban street. I was like, you are such a fucking asshole.
Bridger Weiniger
But there was that through the. I feel like the 80s and 90s, there was such a strong, like, do not litter, don't be a litter bug. I think climate change kind of overtook that messaging. But we should still be telling people, don't throw shit out your window.
Katya
No, I'm like. I'm like, you know, recycle. It all goes to Trash Island. It's like a scam, but, I mean, but don't. Yeah. Like, you have the choice to, like. I mean, I will keep something in my car or, like, on my person, rather.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm not to throw it on the ground.
Katya
No.
Bridger Weiniger
I would feel guilty for weeks.
Katya
Although, you know what, though? The, The. The absolute hypocrisy of me is that sometimes I throw my cigarette butts on the ground.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. And that one is weirdly accepted. I don't know why we've decided that that's.
Katya
And I don't know why we've also described. Decided that they're free.
Bridger Weiniger
Right.
Katya
Like, do you have a cigarette?
Bridger Weiniger
It's like, yeah, there's a lot of money.
Katya
Give me a dollar. You know, do you have a piece of pizza? Like, we don't say that.
Bridger Weiniger
Barter system. Okay, well, this is how we play the game. We're playing Gift or a Curse. And I should mention that we. Now, this is a big announcement. We have a home version of Gift or a Curse. It's a card game. It is incredible. It's the same beautiful tension and excitement that you hear on this podcast. And now you can take it home and you can hurt feelings and you can cause family rifts. We're headed into the holidays and you can become kind of the person in control of the game, and everybody's going to be giving their opinions via car card. It's delightful. You've got to go to exactlyrightstore.com to get it. That's where you get the merch. You know, the most beautiful sweatshirt I've ever seen. And now this card game that is. It's going to ruin the holidays for everyone. And I can guarantee that you've got to get a copy today. Is there anything else I need to see, say? No, there's. You can also just Google, I said no gifts merch. If that. More your speed. Do whatever you need to do. Here's how we play the game. I'm going to name three things. You're going to tell me if they are a gift or a curse, and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers and there's a strong chance you'll walk away a huge loser. Okay.
Katya
Used to that.
Bridger Weiniger
You walked in a loser, you walk out of loser. Born a loser. Okay, this first one is from a listener named Ann. A gift or a curse being part of a family in which all of the members names start with the same letter except for your name. And she gives an example. Kim, Kelby, Kinsley, Kyron and Joel. Oh, those names.
Katya
That's crazy. That's a curse. It's a gift.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, that's a gift. Why?
Katya
No, it's a curse.
Bridger Weiniger
Why?
Katya
Because what are your parents proclaiming about you or what are they trying to curse you with or like anoint you with? That's, you know, I don't like that. I mean, I have a friend who comes from a Mormon family, I think eight siblings.
Bridger Weiniger
I come from a Mormon family all named A. And that's what I was gonna say. This is very Mormon. Where like I knew a lot of Mormon families growing up with one. With one outlier though with no outliers, it was always like fucking crazy. There was like a 10 family, 10 sibling family, all jays.
Katya
Wow.
Bridger Weiniger
But you're saying, you're saying curse.
Katya
I'm. I think it's a curse. I think it's a curse growing up. And then it would be a gift, as in a adulthood.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, it would transition, but curse overall.
Katya
Yeah, it's a, it's, it's an insult. Honestly, I think it's like the Scarlet Letter in a way, you know, Katya.
Bridger Weiniger
Wrong. It's a gift.
Katya
Why?
Bridger Weiniger
You're mommy and daddy's angel.
Katya
Oh, you're the special one. You know, like those other ugly.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, these losers are like, oh, there's another dud. Give him a K name. Let's try it.
Katya
We were hoping for a Brenda, but all we got were Katies, you know? Yeah. Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
And then you come along and suddenly you're the prince or princess and the rest of your life is set.
Katya
Oh, I really think it depends on what the, what order it is you were born in.
Bridger Weiniger
The spotlight is on that moment you're coming out of mommy and you're Brenda.
Katya
I mean, it was, you know, of course, the cunty thing I'm thinking about is Caitlyn.
Bridger Weiniger
Caitlyn with a C. Oh, with a C, that's right. That's such a statement. That was a false statement. But with a parent name it's. I mean, it's another type of statement and it's here's the star. Get rid of the rest of these kids. Put them up for adoption. And just keep this one.
Katya
Yeah, but throw them out in the street. Take him to trash island.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, so zero out of zero so far. Number two, this is from someone named Steven. Gift or a curse. Saying bio break instead of bathroom break when taking a break during a meeting.
Katya
Bio as in biology or biological? No, no, no. Because the first thing I thought of is, like, I have to leave the room to update my bio. And that's not. No, no. Although, I mean, obviously we flopped on bathrooms in this society. Like, there should be no urinals. There should just be single stalls.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes.
Katya
With doors and every completely. All gender. Whatever. Yeah. I've never heard of that. That's a thing. Bio break.
Bridger Weiniger
Bio break. It's a curse. You're right. It's complete crazy. Yeah. I mean, I do love the idea of somebody, like, stepping out to up their bio.
Katya
No, it'd be like. Like sue stepping out to do the activator. That's what it would be.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. There's something about. There's, like, a very, like, substance. Like, there's a wetness to it that bathroom doesn't bring. Yeah. Everyone, if you're saying I've got to take a bio break to the rest of your co workers, you are a problem at the office.
Katya
Yes, you are. You are not getting invited to drinks after work, that's for sure.
Bridger Weiniger
That's a new trend among office workers. I don't know what to say to anybody. What's the. What's the logic behind that? Or just say, I have to leave the room.
Katya
What about cryo break? I have to go.
Bridger Weiniger
Freeze yourself for a few seconds. Okay, well, okay, so you've gotten one right so far. Very. Okay. And finally, this is. We don't know who this came from, so rest in peace. Gift her a curse. When your dog hates one of your friends but loves everyone else. This is kind of thematically tied to the first one, weirdly.
Katya
That's. You know, I don't know, because I. I'm going to get. I'm not. I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but I don't hate animals. Of course. But I don't love them.
Bridger Weiniger
No animal has love from you.
Katya
No, no, no. I mean, like, I could say, oh, my God, that dog is so cute, or that cat is really interesting, or that owl is so wonderful. But, like, I don't have pets. I'm never gonna have pets.
Bridger Weiniger
They're not for you.
Katya
No, they're not for me. And so, like, other people's pets. It's like other People's children. I don't want to touch them. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want them to touch me, me, or talk to me. That's how I feel about that. So I don't. I forget what the question.
Bridger Weiniger
It's when. When your dog hates one of your.
Katya
Friends, that's gonna be me.
Bridger Weiniger
I felt like it was.
Katya
And also, like, I've been. I've been at many times in the situation of go to this person's house for the first time, and they forget to mention, oh, by the way, I have six rottweilers that will. That will charge you. As the doorbell rings. Like, you need to, like, tell me that because that I. It's fucking scary. Like, pit bulls. I feel like, don't worry, they're friendly. They're scratching my eyes out and jumping all over me. Like, people.
Bridger Weiniger
As a dog lover, I hate dogs.
Katya
But you know what I mean?
Bridger Weiniger
I think some people are very cavalier about how their dogs behave. It's like you have. You have got to be very conscious of that. Not everyone is comfortable with animals.
Katya
And also they bark loudly sometimes all night. Like, I was at this house where, like, two enormous fucking dogs. Dogs. Uncontrollable, super aggressive, very physical. And then they wouldn't shut the up.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh.
Katya
And I was like, dude, you know, this. This is a bad hosting trait. This is like. You're not good at that anyways.
Bridger Weiniger
So you're saying curse.
Katya
Oh, it's a curse.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, it's a gift.
Katya
Or it could be, like. It's a. No, it's a gift to. To suss out evil.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, this is what I'm. This is why it's a gift. You're. You're not getting the point. Too late. You. I mean, did not. Not saved by the bell.
Katya
But it. Is it to identify evil.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. The dog knows something. They know something about this person. Whether they're possessed.
Katya
Can you believe that?
Bridger Weiniger
Whether they will betray you. I believe it.
Katya
They can smell the future. Betrayal. They can smell the breast pump. They can smell. And they can hear the wind chime. They can hear the wind chime. Oh, she rigged the greenhouse for you.
Bridger Weiniger
Dogs have the spirit of Julianne Moore.
Katya
Yes, they do.
Bridger Weiniger
And they know a bad egg when they see it.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
And when one dog is barking or harassing just one friend, it's because that person's bad news.
Katya
Yeah. Bad news. They're trying to steal your baby, your husband, and kill your best friend.
Bridger Weiniger
It's time to hire a private investigator and have them track this person?
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, you got one out of three.
Katya
So that's basically totally great.
Bridger Weiniger
That's 100% as far as I know.
Katya
Wait, did you take the SATs?
Bridger Weiniger
I took the ACTs. Oh, what did you get? I got a. To 29.
Katya
Oh, yeah. You're smart. You're a smart.
Bridger Weiniger
No, I feel like smart is 30 or above.
Katya
Oh, I thought it went up to.
Bridger Weiniger
30, only it goes up to, I think 34.
Katya
Oh, God, you're a dumbass.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm a complete dumb.
Katya
That's amazing, right?
Bridger Weiniger
No, it's not good. I think it's like, oh, well, he can read and is. Okay.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
But I mean, I guess if you got a 4, that would also be a problem. So I guess 29 is 25 points more than 29.
Katya
35.
Bridger Weiniger
See, I'm demonstrating my math skills, right? You took the satisfaction.
Katya
Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
And what did you get?
Katya
I will not tell you lie. I mean, I have friends who got 1600s.
Bridger Weiniger
Is that top.
Katya
That's perfect.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay.
Katya
That's fucking incredible.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, but where are they now? Four hours.
Katya
Yeah, they're all dead.
Bridger Weiniger
They're not on this podcast.
Katya
No. Certainly not in Hollywood. Woo. They're taking bio breaks at their shitty office jobs. No, they. Yeah, I. That's fierce though.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, I. I feel like standardized testing, we're kind of finding out is not good, right?
Katya
Yeah, I mean, not an indicator of like potential success or whatever achievement, but. Did you take AP courses?
Bridger Weiniger
I did take AP courses. Political science, History, English.
Katya
My gosh.
Bridger Weiniger
I think those. Probably those. What are the other ones? Are there.
Katya
I mean, there's biology, there's.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, I think I took bio.
Katya
I think really tough.
Bridger Weiniger
I. I can handle biology. Chemistry and physics are hard for me.
Katya
I never took chemistry. Physics. What did you get on this?
Bridger Weiniger
The.
Katya
The tour, the test?
Bridger Weiniger
I think all of those. I barely got like threes.
Katya
Wow.
Bridger Weiniger
You know, which is like a barely passing grade. Except for on English. I'm decent in English.
Katya
Would you get five?
Bridger Weiniger
I think. Is it out of five? I probably got a four.
Katya
Okay.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. There's no perfection in my life.
Katya
Not hard to believe.
Bridger Weiniger
Did you take AP courses?
Katya
I took.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah.
Katya
I took AP French language and AP French Literature.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, my God. See, that's really, really classy.
Katya
Oh, it was extremely classy when I was. Because I skipped. I skipped a grade, so I was the only one in French literature myself. You know, I got a five on that. I like, peaked in high school with languages anyways, and then ran right into.
Bridger Weiniger
A brick wall with sat.
Katya
Oh. Like middle of the pack. Just like. Like horribly average. Embarrassingly, like below, like, just. Just below average. To feel like. Like shit, you know?
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. That's how I feel. With a 29 on the act, I'm just like, well, I was spectacular. O. Oh, it's exhausting. I woke up at the time of the beginning of the test. I remember it was started at 8am and I woke if. What was happening? My parents are decent parents. Why were they not put. They should have been putting the pressure.
Katya
They didn't let you take the PSAT or that. Is there like a pre.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, there probably is. I felt kind of free roam as far as education goes.
Katya
Well, very quickly. I had trouble in high school for, like when I was a sophomore. I was like a moody kid and I. So I looked at other places, alternative schools to go to, and I did a visiting week at this place called Sudbury Valley, which is no longer accredited, but at the time it had a smoking room.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh.
Katya
And for the whole week, I smoked cigarettes indoors at this high school.
Bridger Weiniger
That is incredible.
Katya
That had no actual courses, but teachers on campus who were available for instruction if you sought them out.
Bridger Weiniger
Wow.
Katya
Isn't that crazy?
Bridger Weiniger
Did you ever ask a teacher for a cigarette?
Katya
No, I brought my own. And literally just walked around, smoked a package. Cigarettes a day at 16. Isn't that crazy? This was in 1998.
Bridger Weiniger
That's like letting the Muppet babies smoke.
Katya
It's like. It's like swinging, dancing on the airplane. Mistake, Diane.
Bridger Weiniger
It's totally wild. Have Don Draper.
Katya
Yeah, but they lost their accreditation, obviously. Yeah. Anyways.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay, well, it's time to answer a listener question. This is called I said no emails. People write into. I said no gifts. Gmail.com begging for help. Will you help me answer a question?
Katya
Absolutely. Absolutely I will.
Bridger Weiniger
Okay. Let's see. Here.
Katya
Have a sip of this.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, my God. You haven't had a sip of water. Okay. This says, dear Bridger, Annalise and disrespectful guest. I have failed miserably. I'll be the judge of that. Last year, two long distance friends got married to each other. In the chaos of packing and preparing for the eight hour drive to their hometown, I forgot their card. The card was to be the vessel for a monetary gift. I did not have time to get another card before the wedding. And with all the festivities and traveling home the next day, I forgot to go on their online registry and get a gift from there. My memory continued to fail me as it is now a year later, as we are approaching their one year anniversary. And I never Got them a gift. Neither friend has mentioned anything about not receiving a gift from me. But my own personal guilt is getting to me. Should I send the card and gifts now or is it too late? Will sending a gift now reveal my true failings as a friend? Are one year anniversary gifts from a friend's a thing? What should I do? Thank you for your help? And that's. Oh, they didn't even leave their name. Sincerely, a bad and forgetful friend. They're very ashamed.
Katya
There you go. Bad and forgetful friend is the real. That's the type. Yes. You're a bad friend. You're a bad friend.
Bridger Weiniger
Do you know what I think they are? I think they are.
Katya
They're literally just saying, I forgot. These people are not important enough for me to prioritize this very simple activity. Multiple could have done in under 10 minutes. Minutes even from the. You just go on the computer and type a little bit and then you have.
Bridger Weiniger
How are you not remembering it? You're at the wedding, you're leaving the wedding.
Katya
Like, there is time to stop. You don't have to be punctual for the wedding. You stop at the CVS to get a fucking card.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah. No one's picky about cards. No, people appreciate a bad card.
Katya
Absolutely. You get. You get ironic card. You get like a happy birthday grandfather card and you're just like, Right. And also. But if they have turned over a new leaf and they've suddenly like, decided to shed their ass holiness, then yeah, just get them something. Absolutely. It's never too late or too weird or too. You know.
Bridger Weiniger
People always like to get a gift.
Katya
Yes, absolutely. Just, they'd be like, hey, I've really grown and changed over the years. Sorry. Or fake a drug problem or something.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, yeah, of course.
Katya
No questions. Yeah, yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
Nobody. They're like, okay, you got an excuse?
Katya
Yeah. Bulletproof alibi. Yeah.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, I feel like the other. The subtext here is that they are mad that the people haven't even noticed. They feel forgotten. These friends don't even care about them.
Katya
I wouldn't be so sure about that because I'm sure that you are a topic of discussion at the brunch that you're not invited to. You know what I mean?
Bridger Weiniger
They're constantly talking about the fact that.
Katya
Remember Lindsay didn't give me a fucking birthday. She didn't give me a fucking wedding present or whatever.
Bridger Weiniger
Clock is ticking. Yeah, Well, I feel like they either have been completely forgotten or they have an opportunity at any time to send a gift.
Katya
Absolutely. But this is A long distance friend.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. Yes.
Katya
So this is like, do you do destination weddings?
Bridger Weiniger
I feel like it's a cruel thing to do to your friends and family. Unless you are paying for them to do it.
Katya
I mean, who's doing that?
Bridger Weiniger
You are forcing people to go on a vacation that they didn't want to.
Katya
Do and have to pay for it.
Bridger Weiniger
Yes. They probably had another vacation in mind. Why aren't we talking about this more often?
Katya
I don't know.
Bridger Weiniger
It's a psycho move to be like, okay, now you have to go to some boring island somewhere that you were like, that was never even on your list. And now your vacation fund is gone.
Katya
Yeah. It's crazy.
Bridger Weiniger
What a cruel, cruel thing you can do. It's wild. Yeah. I don't really support. I mean, I can. I can say, like, if a friend lives in a different state, of course I'll make. If you're close enough, I'll come to you. But destination, it's wild. You better be paying the bill. And I don't have enough rich friends to be for that.
Katya
Yeah. I don't know anybody who's.
Bridger Weiniger
I know I've got to find somebody that'll pay for me to come to their wedding.
Katya
Warren Buffett.
Bridger Weiniger
Elon Musk is single.
Katya
Oh, God.
Bridger Weiniger
Can you imagine that wedding that the person that would choose to marry that person at this point?
Katya
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
Bridger Weiniger
A dweeb. Just the ultimate dork.
Katya
I mean, what a dweeb and a dork. I. I hate. I miss Twitter.
Bridger Weiniger
You've completely ruined it.
Katya
Yeah. I mean, I'm. I love. I loved Twitter.
Bridger Weiniger
It was very fun for a period.
Katya
Yeah. And then it's like, you, oh, there's a funny post by this funny person that I like but haven't met. And then I scroll down and then there's an ad for vacuum, and then there's like a something else, and it's just like all chaos. I hate it.
Bridger Weiniger
It's so, so awful. And it is interesting to me about him and this sort of person where it's like, oh, you're just trapped as Elon Musk for the rest of your life. No amount of money, you'll always have to be that person.
Katya
Which is.
Bridger Weiniger
That's the one bit of solace I get from that. And it's like, yeah, you'll always.
Katya
You're a flop and you'll always be a flop.
Bridger Weiniger
Just be such a nerd.
Katya
At least he kept the porn, though, on Twitter.
Bridger Weiniger
Oh, he did.
Katya
I appreciate that. I appreciate the lack of censorship.
Bridger Weiniger
He did Kind of remove censorship. Right?
Katya
I.
Bridger Weiniger
Because you can be kind of a full Nazi.
Katya
Oh, you can be absolutely. Yeah. The full bloom of ignorance is on display there unchecked.
Bridger Weiniger
Well, forgetful and bad friend. That's what you are. That's what you will always be.
Katya
No, you can change. If you try, you can change.
Bridger Weiniger
Katya has hope for you. And I'm okay. I'm riding the fence. I don't know what to say. Don't write back in. I've had such a wonderful time, and now I have a practical gift that makes me look like a better person.
Katya
Yes, it does. And it makes you. What it does is it makes you look like a less selfish person.
Bridger Weiniger
Yeah, exactly. I've thought about other. This is. People will think at least once Bridger thought about someone outside of women.
Katya
Women's stories matter. They just matter.
Bridger Weiniger
I'm really going to own this, and I'm thrilled about it, and I'm so happy you were here today.
Katya
Thank you so much. Is my check in a. Is it cash, or do I just wait for a check in the mail?
Bridger Weiniger
You'll wait for the check in the mail. And we don't, you know, the postal system. It's all over. It's hard to find a public mailbox at this point.
Katya
What would you do if I didn't leave the studio until I demanded payment of some kind? Payment that was not promised. Oh, you pay my approval back. That's fair.
Bridger Weiniger
You get 10 cents.
Katya
That's your. I just take that light with me. No. Thank you for having me. Oh, and go to trixieandcatiolive.com and please buy tickets, because we'll be humiliated in Baltimore if there's only half the places filled.
Bridger Weiniger
Humiliated people have got to buy t. Tickets. Live shows, I think, are having a very difficult time selling tickets right now.
Katya
Are they? Let's go with that.
Bridger Weiniger
I think that's true. I feel like fans of things need to, you know, say, oh, I will come see you.
Katya
Yeah, there's nothing like getting out of the house, going to it.
Bridger Weiniger
I mean, you know, Covid.
Katya
Now that Covid was deemed a hoax.
Bridger Weiniger
We know that it was essentially a hologram.
Katya
Thank you. And you. There's no danger at all anywhere with anybody. Like, go.
Bridger Weiniger
There's no disease anywhere.
Katya
No, go. Go to the theater, meet a friend. You know, it's one of the.
Bridger Weiniger
Shake hands with someone who just said that they've refused to wash their hands.
Katya
In publicly, chase the person out who just pissed in the urinal, didn't flush, and left without washing their hands. Marry that man.
Bridger Weiniger
And did clean the toilet.
Katya
Yeah. Yes. Mary, thank you so much for having me.
Bridger Weiniger
Thank you. What a pleasure listener. The podcast is screeching to a halt. You are in a panic. Take some deep breaths. Find something else to do with your day. Take your that long awaited bio break. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Anneliese Nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts? When I invited you here.
Katya
I thought.
Bridger Weiniger
I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home.
Katya
You gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guilt.
Bridger Weiniger
Your presence is present enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?
Podcast Title: I Said No Gifts!
Episode: Katya Disobeys Bridger
Release Date: November 14, 2024
Host: Bridger Winegar
Guest: Katya
In this lively episode of I Said No Gifts!, Bridger Winegar welcomes Katya—a sharp-witted and candid guest who immediately sets the tone with her unapologetic humor. Bridger humorously recounts his recent live show in New York, noting memorable moments like the disappointing lentil soup and an insightful horoscope reading that nudged him towards planning a summer camping trip with close friends.
Notable Quote:
Bridger [01:19]: "I adore today's guest. Everyone adores today's guest. It's Katya."
The conversation kicks off with a playful discussion about zodiac signs. Bridger identifies himself as a Wood Rat, a term Katya humorously questions for compatibility with her sign, the Water Dog. They delve into the traits associated with their signs, such as charm, hard work, and thriftiness for the Rat, and Katya's self-description as a "prolific, prodigious sweater."
Notable Quotes:
Katya [03:07]: "I wonder if that's compatible with a water dog."
Bridger [03:33]: "Thrifty. Oh, my God. That one actually works."
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to an extensive discussion about various movies. Bridger and Katya share their opinions on classics and contemporary films, exploring themes, performances, and cinematic techniques.
"The Substance":
Katya praises the film for its entertaining and outrageous finale, while Bridger critiques its pacing and the realism of certain scenes.
Notable Quote:
Katya [06:58]: "I think I watched it twice, and I was like. If I had."
"Candyman" and Horror Favorites:
Katya highlights her love for the original "Candyman," lauding Tony Todd's performance and the film's daytime horror scenes. Bridger contrasts this with more traditional silent killers like Michael Myers.
Notable Quote:
Katya [22:03]: "I like Candyman... his voice is so effective at being fucking terrifying."
Classic Thrillers and Cult Films:
They reminisce about older films like "After Hours," "King of Comedy," and "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle," sharing their favorite scenes and characters.
Notable Quote:
Bridger [56:38]: "They're both very out of his normal thing because they're kind of like surreal comedies."
Bridger and Katya transition into a humorous yet candid discussion about pet behaviors and personal hygiene. Katya shares her disdain for dogs that dislike certain friends, equating it to a "curse," while Bridger navigates his complex feelings about cleanliness and societal norms like wearing flip-flops in public.
Notable Quote:
Katya [43:09]: "I don't have to shower before bed...you should clean the toilet."
The hosts tackle the frustrations of modern travel, particularly the stringent TSA regulations. Bridger vents about the inconvenience of liquid restrictions, while Katya humorously debates the irrationality of certain security measures compared to more severe societal issues.
Notable Quote:
Katya [66:47]: "You cannot take 4 ounces of Grand Albalene makeup remover...but you can buy a gun today."
Bridger introduces the segment "Gift or a Curse," engaging with listener-submitted scenarios to determine whether they qualify as gifts or curses. One standout question revolves around being the only family member with a unique name amidst siblings sharing the same starting letter.
Notable Quote:
Listener Ann [82:13]: "Being part of a family in which all of the members' names start with the same letter except for your name."
Discussion Highlights:
Unique Names in Families:
Bridger deems it a "gift," countered by Katya who argues it's a "curse" due to the implied favoritism and social complications.
Terminology in Professional Settings:
The term "bio break" versus "bathroom break" sparks debate, with both agreeing it's an unnecessary complication.
Dog Dislike for Friends:
This scenario illustrates a "curse," symbolizing social friction and distrust.
As the episode draws to a close, Bridger and Katya touch upon the importance of practical gifts like tampons and discuss the absurdity of certain gift choices. They promote upcoming live shows, encouraging listeners to attend and support their favorite podcasts.
Notable Quote:
Bridger [78:30]: "The podcast is screeching to a halt. You are in a panic. Take some deep breaths."
Katya Disobeys Bridger is a rollercoaster of humor, candid conversations, and sharp-witted exchanges that exemplify the unique blend of comedy and genuine dialogue that I Said No Gifts! is known for. Bridger and Katya navigate topics ranging from zodiac quirks and movie critiques to social etiquette and listener dilemmas, all while maintaining an engaging and entertaining rapport. This episode is a must-listen for those who enjoy insightful comedy intertwined with everyday musings.