Mo Welch Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: I Said No Gifts! Episode with Mo Welch

Episode Information:

• Title: Mo Welch Disobeys Bridger
• Release Date: February 13, 2025
• Host: Bridger Winegar
• Guest: Mo Welch

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1. Welcome and Icebreaker: Skunk Surprise

The episode begins with host Bridger Winegar and Anneliese Nelson welcoming guest Mo Welch to the show. Bridger shares a personal anecdote about encountering a skunk in his backyard, setting a lighthearted tone for the conversation.

Notable Quote:

• Bridger Winegar [02:28]: "I have not felt a rush like this since I went indoor skydiving. It was such a thrill to see that little skunk on its way somewhere."

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2. Diving into Documentaries: "The Curious Case of Natalie Grace"

Bridger and Anneliese discuss the documentary "The Curious Case of Natalie Grace," critiquing its ambiguous conclusion regarding the protagonist's age and motives. They express frustration over the lack of definitive answers, highlighting the documentary's failure to provide closure.

Notable Quotes:

• Anneliese Nelson [06:09]: "I feel like I’m not gonna get answers here. And it doesn't feel like the people being interviewed know what's going on."
• Mo Welch [06:16]: "I think it should be illegal to not have an ending to your documentary to make us go through."

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3. Mo Welch’s Passion for Recreational Basketball

Mo shares his deep involvement in a recreational basketball league in Burbank, California. He reveals his ambition to create a documentary titled "Last Chance Me," chronicling his team’s journey toward winning a championship after years of losses.

Notable Quotes:

• Mo Welch [29:00]: "I'm retiring from recreational basketball. This is my retirement year, 2025."
• Anneliese Nelson [33:05]: "I will be there. I'm gonna be the final shot of this documentary."

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4. Team Dynamics and the Enigmatic Natalie Grace

The conversation shifts to Mo’s teammate Natalie Grace, a highly skilled player who resists being featured in his documentary. Bridger and Anneliese delve into the challenges Mo faces in documenting her performance without breaching her privacy.

Notable Quotes:

• Anneliese Nelson [31:18]: "Natalie, you are ruining the documentary."
• Mo Welch [31:22]: "She's a beast on the court and she gets to triple-double every game."

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5. Exploring Furry Culture: Mo’s Brother’s Transformation

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Mo’s brother, who has embraced the furry subculture. Mo humorously recounts his brother’s transformation into a dragon character named Sin Syn, including the intricate process of creating his costume in Japan.

Notable Quotes:

• Mo Welch [56:32]: "He was on an app with a red dragon avatar and designed the costume from that."
• Anneliese Nelson [57:00]: "Did you watch the evolution? Like, how did this unfold?"

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6. "Gift or a Curse" Game Segment

Bridger and Anneliese engage in their recurring game segment "Gift or a Curse," analyzing listener-submitted scenarios to determine their nature.

Listener Submissions:

1. Mad Scoops Ice Cream: Mo categorizes it as a curse due to the potential for overwhelming sales impact.
2. Crumbl Cookies: Anneliese passionately condemns them as a curse, arguing they are overpriced and poorly made compared to homemade alternatives.
3. Drive-Thru Without Trash Cans: Both agree it's a curse, emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility in waste management.

Notable Quotes:

• Mo Welch [75:16]: "That's a curse to me in my body and my mind."
• Anneliese Nelson [77:42]: "Crumbl cookies... are horrible. They are truly the worst type of cookie you can eat."

---

7. Relationship Advice: Breakup Over Gifts

In the final segment, Bridger and Anneliese tackle a listener’s question about breaking up over the phone while wanting to give a meaningful yet minimalistic gift. Their humorous yet pragmatic approach offers creative, albeit unconventional, gift suggestions to soften the breakup.

Notable Quotes:

• Mo Welch [88:17]: "Nothing a hat can't fix."
• Anneliese Nelson [90:16]: "Trader Joe's gift card... it's a nice way to say, forget about me. Enjoy."

---

8. Concluding Remarks and Behind-the-Scenes Insights

Bridger wraps up the episode by reiterating the show's purpose and encouraging listeners to engage via Instagram. The team shares light-hearted banter and reflects on the episode's playful yet meaningful discussions.

Notable Quote:

• Anneliese Nelson [94:08]: "This T-shirt is literally the fashion equivalent of clip art. It is the color, the sizing. It's just somebody said, that's the shirt, and I'm thrilled."

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Overall Highlights:

• Engaging Conversations: From wildlife encounters to intricate family dynamics, the episode balances humor with heartfelt discussions.
• Deep Dive into Subcultures: Mo’s brother’s involvement in the furry community provides insightful commentary on niche subcultures.
• Interactive Segments: The "Gift or a Curse" game adds an interactive and entertaining element, inviting listener participation.
• Practical Advice: The relationship advice segment, though comedic, touches on genuine emotional experiences.

This episode of "I Said No Gifts!" with Mo Welch offers a blend of comedy, personal stories, and interactive fun, making it a standout installment in Bridger Winegar’s extensive podcast catalog.

Transcript

[Mo Welch]

This is exactly right.

[Bridger Winegar]

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[Mo Welch]

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[Mo Welch]

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is present enough and I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. Well, what. What's happening? There is. At least the last I knew there was a silver Kia going about 95 miles an hour down the 134 who was not happy when I changed into his lane doing the speed limit. And I just want to apologize to him. Sir. I hope you find peace. I hope you get wherever you need to be on time. That was a little. I was. I'm rattled. I'm a little rattled, but I Also have some good news. Last night, I was time for bed. I went to close the shade on the back door, and as I did, I looked down and underneath the gate, a little skunk came squeezing under and headed into the backyard. And I have. I have not felt a rush like this since I went indoor skydiving. It was such a thrill to see that little skunk on its way somewhere, I don't know where, doing some business in my backyard. It's welcome anytime. It was so truly 8 inches away from me, and there was no fear of being sprayed. So it was really. It was delightful. It was a fun surprise before bed. Is there anything else we should discuss? These are probably the two most important pressing things in the world, so then we can move into the podcast. I just adore today's guest. I think she's so funny. It's Mo Welch. Mo, welcome to. I said no gifts.

[Mo Welch]

Thank you so much.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, have you had any sort of skunk interaction?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, we used to have some that kind of lived under the house. They go in and out. There's a lot of skunks where I live.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Surprising amount of skunks in Los Angeles.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Did you ever get to see skunk babies?

[Mo Welch]

I don't know if I've had the pleasure. I've seen some maybe teen teens, teen skunks smoking. Smoking in our backyard.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Some like mini Pepe Le Pews.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Were you ever, like, around them? Was there any fear of getting sprayed?

[Mo Welch]

I'm fearful that my dog will get.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Sprayed, so that's kind of the nightmare.

[Mo Welch]

So my dog is. And so even last night he wants to go out, like, four times. My sleep is so broken because of him. Yes. And. But I have to. I basically have to go outside and watch him go to the bathroom because I don't want to. There's raccoons, too. So I'm like, I don't want.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, that's even more dangerous. Oh, God. Your dog is a target.

[Mo Welch]

I know.

[Anneliese Nelson]

How old is he?

[Mo Welch]

He's like a hundred. I don't know because I adopted him.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right.

[Mo Welch]

And I tell the story on stage. But it's. It is true that. That when we got him, he was 2. And then our vet said he's at least 10.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, my God. This is an orphan situation.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

The movie Orphan. Do you remember this movie? They adopt a little girl and find out that she's, like, 50.

[Mo Welch]

This is exactly what it is. I gotta write that down.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, my God. That's exactly what happened to you. And now I've just recently Found out there's. I can't recommend this documentary because it's garbage, but it's called, like, the Curious Case of Natalie Grace, which is, you.

[Mo Welch]

Know, I watched that.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You watched it?

[Mo Welch]

Of course I did.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, then maybe you can tell me what happened, because I had.

[Mo Welch]

I still don't. I feel like it wasn't. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I also don't watch the end of it, but I was like. I feel like it wasn't conclusive. I feel like they were just like, well, we'll never know how old she is.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's so annoying.

[Mo Welch]

I know.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's like. It truly, to me, is like, the perfect thing for me to watch. If it had been well made, I would have watched a thousand episodes.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

But it's like, I don't feel like I'm gonna get answers here. And it doesn't feel like the people being interviewed know, still know what's going on.

[Mo Welch]

I think it should be illegal, too, if you don't have an ending to your documentary to make us go through.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Not a moral thing to do.

[Mo Welch]

Find a birth certificate, hire a private.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Detective, get to Eastern Europe and find out where this person came from. Find out if she can drink legally.

[Mo Welch]

It's so annoying.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's really annoying. And it's like, yeah, because now you can't tell me what happened. We just have to kind of. Kind of speculate as to whether or not she was 4 or if she was 98.

[Mo Welch]

Right. And I was so on. They did do a good job of, like, steering us in a direction of like, okay, she's definitely old. And then the next one, I'd be like, wait, she's young, though. So I was going back and forth.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And there's never really an expert, at least for. I gave up pretty early, but it's like they're talking to the dad, the son in the basement, and then, like, some nosy neighbor.

[Mo Welch]

Right? You're just like. It felt like Hollywood, where you're just like, well, how old is she? Like, is she young? Is she old? We'll never know.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It could ruin her career.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Everybody loves her for how young she is, and meanwhile, she's trying to kill her family. That was another thing where it's like, I think this is about where I turned it off. Which actually was kind of an exciting part. She showed up in the parents bedroom holding a knife.

[Mo Welch]

Right. But there was no evidence. Sorry.

[Anneliese Nelson]

There was no evidence. And she didn't kill them. She didn't attack.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So she may have just found the Knife and needed to know where it needed to be put or something in.

[Mo Welch]

The middle of the night. Mommy, Daddy, I want a sandwich.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I'm cleaning up.

[Mo Welch]

How do I make a sandwich again? I have the knife.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I have the biggest possible knife. But you watched all of it.

[Mo Welch]

I think I did. Which is. It's terrifying that I forget everything. I think my brain makes me forget because it's like, well, what if you want to watch this again and enjoy it? Like Game of Thrones. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's kind of a self preservation thing. I think maybe that's a good way of looking at it because I forget everything as well. Rather than thinking, oh, I just have no retention, media retention whatsoever. It's my body saying, you want to enjoy this again?

[Mo Welch]

Yes. You have to think positive. Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Have you seen any good documentaries recently?

[Mo Welch]

I think so.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Have you seen the. See, of course. Have you seen the one? And we've already talked about this on this podcast. But the man who Wants to Live Forever.

[Mo Welch]

I haven't. It's like Netflix is like, I promise you should watch this. Please watch this. And I just keep going. I just don't wanna watch it. I can't get myself to watch it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I mean, I will say that one has some pretty clear answ. The answer you're looking for is, is this man normal?

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And you find that out pretty quickly.

[Mo Welch]

And he's telling you immediately how old he is. That's the difference between documentaries.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. So these kind of go hand in hand.

[Mo Welch]

Maybe that's where he got the idea to make it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

He's like, I'm going to outdo that documentary. I'm going to tell people how old I am and how old I could be 22. No, I watched that. It's truly insane. And then, I mean, news keeps coming out about him because he's out of his mind, is constantly trying to stay in the news cycle. And this is an unfortunate piece of news that I learned yesterday. He's now. God, I don't even know if I want to talk about this on a podcast. He is now posting screenshots. He's tracking his nightly erections and his sons and they're comparing.

[Mo Welch]

Oh, wow. And how is his son?

[Anneliese Nelson]

His son's 19.

[Mo Welch]

Okay.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I. So this, like, if this gives you any idea of what we're dealing with.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And I can't imagine how he's now dealing with the air quality in Los Angeles.

[Mo Welch]

I mean, remember when dads just wanted to play catch with their sons?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Another era. Another era. Now they're having their DNA Edited. They're basically brainwashing their children into giving them their blood. Am I selling this documentary?

[Mo Welch]

Well, yeah, that's the wrong sign in Netflix. I mean, look at us trying to. Trying to get specials over here. We can't get a fucking special. What do I have to do? Can't even get a 15 minute pick my blood. This man's got an hour blood.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, okay, so you've got skunks living under the house. Ultimately, that's what's important.

[Mo Welch]

Yes, yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do you have to get, like. Do you have to call animal control?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, they. We did call them, and they got rid of them in a. In an okay way, in a humane.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Way where they have, like, the hook that they pull them out.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. I have no idea how they really do it. I think they're. Yeah, they're like, we signed you up for improv classes. Everyone out.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Everyone head to Franklin. Yeah. This is the first real close encounter I've had with wildlife in the last little while. I feel like the fires are kind of making these animals go all over the place, I imagine.

[Mo Welch]

Oh, my God. Imagine living on the west side, and then as a skunk. And then all of a sudden, you're on the east side, you're headed past Western, you're on the five, and you're just like, I never thought this would be my life again.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You have your passport, a few pictures of your family.

[Mo Welch]

He was like, well, I might as well go to Kitchen Mouse while I'm here. Sorry, local reference, Kitchen Mouse.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Two locations. Wow, great restaurant. Everybody head to Kitchen Mouse. Actually, I will say, the last time I was at Kitchen Mouse, I had a pretty messy sandwich.

[Mo Welch]

That's my worst fear.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Horrible fading.

[Mo Welch]

I hate that. I also think if you sell a sandwich, I do think that you should cut off the ends so that it's not messy. On the end where the lettuce is falling out.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That shouldn't touch your hands. Yeah, that's a really good point.

[Mo Welch]

I think it should just, like, go to Natalie Grace. Get that knife, trim up your sandwiches. La.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah, I don't want to feel lettuce on my palm.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Who wants that?

[Anneliese Nelson]

No, I just want the bread there. That's. Wow. You're making an excellent point.

[Mo Welch]

I mean, I'm having a really good year.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You're finally turning it around. I wonder, though, like, aesthetically, is that gonna look too clean?

[Mo Welch]

It's gonna look like a perfect parent. Like the parent who spends too much time on the sandwich.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right, right.

[Mo Welch]

And your kid just wants beans.

[Anneliese Nelson]

We all know children just Kind of want a bag of beans at school. You want to be the kid at school who brought beans?

[Mo Welch]

They want the. The lunch that uncle buck packed for McCullough. I don't know. It was, like, disgusting. And all the kids just go there at the lunch table, and then he opens up. He's like, anybody want to trade? And all the kids go. And all the chairs go.

[Anneliese Nelson]

There's, like, smoke from the speeding off. Wow. So is that what happens in Uncle Buck? He's a bad parent.

[Mo Welch]

Uncle Buck, he's the uncle, and he has to take over as the parent, and he doesn't know what he's doing. He's gambling. He's going bowling.

[Anneliese Nelson]

He knows exactly what he's doing.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, he's trying. It's the greatest movie of all time.

[Anneliese Nelson]

What happened to the parents?

[Mo Welch]

They had to go to Indianapolis because the dad had a heart attack. The grandpa.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And that's the nearest. Oh, the grandpa. So they had to go to Chicago.

[Mo Welch]

And they had just moved to Chicago.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, God. The family's going to.

[Mo Welch]

The teenager was like, well, maybe if. Maybe he wouldn't have a heart attack if we didn't move. Or like. She's just like.

[Anneliese Nelson]

She's mad about moving.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, she's mad about moving. She's not really fitting in in the suburbs of Chicago.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And the stress gave the grandpa a heart attack.

[Mo Welch]

Couldn't believe it. How were my grandkids? Yeah, the stress.

[Anneliese Nelson]

What are we supposed to take away from this movie?

[Mo Welch]

Uncle Buck got his life together, and.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It'S Macaulay Culkin as the.

[Mo Welch]

Yes. He's the kid.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Pre. Home Alone.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Interesting.

[Mo Welch]

Right before Home Alone. And Gabbie Hoffman.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Gabby Hoffman. Oh, my God. Wow. Is she the sister?

[Mo Welch]

She's the sister. Well, I mean, she's not the teenager. Then there's a teenager who's, like. Was like a crush of mine growing up.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Who is it?

[Mo Welch]

I don't know.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, her career's over.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. I feel like she's in things, but she kind of has, like, an Elizabeth Shoe. Like, the. Like, she'd be, like, the mean Elizabeth Shoe.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. The only, like, teen I can remember from that period that was always kind of this early teen is Juliet Lewis.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, she was great.

[Anneliese Nelson]

She was always kind of, like, annoyed that something was happening in the family.

[Mo Welch]

And she was cool.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And she was always cool.

[Mo Welch]

But an outcast.

[Anneliese Nelson]

But an outcast and a Scientologist.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And so that kind of fed into every movie that she was in.

[Mo Welch]

Yes. Praise. He knew.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow. So this was an early tease for Macaulay being Kind of left by his parents. They saw him in this movie, said, people love to see this child without his parents.

[Mo Welch]

That was his genre. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Let's build another movie around this concept.

[Mo Welch]

I wonder if he did any others.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Interesting. I wonder if he got kind of typecast.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. What was the one that he did? The Party Monster one.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh. Do his parents leave town and he becomes the Party Monster?

[Mo Welch]

It's like, absolutely. Those parents weren't around, from what I remember.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Let him go to the limelight. Yeah. And then he becomes a. That's a true story. Right. He's like a murderer.

[Mo Welch]

I think. So again, my memory. I mean, he wants me to watch it again.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's very Home Alone in a way. He's, like, left to his own devices and then is hurting people.

[Mo Welch]

I think it's the follow up to Home Alone. I think what happens is it's like, well, my parents abandoned me. And then he just becomes a monster in platform shoes. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow. There's that. There's Richie Rich. I don't know what happens to the parents in that. People liked.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, well, the parents aren't available.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah.

[Mo Welch]

And he has, like. I feel like the butler or somebody is his friend. And then.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, that's sad.

[Mo Welch]

I know. And then the other kids come over and he's got. Oh, God, that was such, like, an aspirational.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, yeah. He has, like, the slingshot that shoots you across the yard or whatever. Where are the parents? Do they have to go to Dubai?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Where were the parents? Do they leave again?

[Anneliese Nelson]

They must.

[Mo Welch]

Even if they're on the other side of the mansion, you're not seeing them for a while.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right. They're just too busy with their own money. And then Richie Rich. God knows where his money's coming from.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I remember when I was a PA early in la, I had to go around to different places that had props or whatever. And I remember being in a place that created. Must have been, like, fake magazines or something. But they had one framed on the wall that was. I think it was Time or Business Insider. And it had Macaulay Culkin from that movie. And it said chair Boy of the board. So it was obviously from that movie. I want that in my own house.

[Mo Welch]

Wow. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Great. Great fake magic.

[Mo Welch]

You have to get that. Wait, hold on. I gotta get that as a gift.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Am I just leaving?

[Mo Welch]

Yes, I'm gonna leave.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, I mean, speaking of gifts, I mean, you brought it up. There's something I'd like to talk to you about. I'm not comfortable getting into this topic at all. It's something I rarely have to do, so I hate that you've put me in this position. I was excited to have you here today on the podcast. I thought Mo will come by, I'll brag about my skunk story, she'll leave feeling less than, and we'll move on with our lives. So I was a little surprised. I was a little shocked, I'll be honest, when I saw you come trotting in holding a gift bag. The podcast is called I said no gifts. We have, you know, mutual friends who have been on the podcast before. I. You obviously received emails. I assumed you would get it. So I don't know. What's the meaning of this gift?

[Mo Welch]

I mean, when you become a parent, okay, and you start having to go to all of these parties, you feel like such an idiot when you come empty handed. And a lot of these birthday parties, they tell you, hey, no gifts. And I'm like, I always feel really bad for the kid. And I know they're just trying to be good for the environment or whatever, but all these LA parties, they say do not bring gifts and I'm the only one that comes in Santa Claus herself with a nice shiny truck for little Johnny.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay, so you kind of just feel like this is an extension of that behavior.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, it's in this beautiful mushroom bag. Should I open it here on the podcast?

[Mo Welch]

I mean, I would love for you to.

[Unknown]

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[Bridger Winegar]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay, let's get into it here. Let's see here. We've got some tissue and we're reaching in, we're pulling out. Oh, so we're looking at a piece of clothing here. Yes, it's some sort of T shirt. Oh, it's a 2022 champions the city of Burbank Vol. Oh, basketball.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

This looks like a volleyball.

[Mo Welch]

That is clearly a basketball.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I saw a net beneath which is obviously a basketball net, but my brain immediately jumped to volleyball. I think it's because volleyball is a sport that scares me most.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it is scary. That ball comes very fast.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's terrifying to me. No, this is basketball. Were you on this team?

[Mo Welch]

Okay, so because I'm in Burbank right now at the studio, I thought to myself, listen, I don't know if you've ever won a championship, especially a rec league basketball with women who are all over the age of 35 basically walking down the court. But I have. And I know what it feels like to be a winner and I wanted you to have that same feeling. And I can't wait to see you wearing that around town.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Interesting assumption that you would think that I've never won anything accurate, but a big swing on your part, I would say. I'm now trying to think if I've won any sport thing ever. No, I have gotten trophies.

[Mo Welch]

What are the trophies for?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, I was on. I'm from Utah. I was on the Junior Jazz for a few years. And you know, they would give you a trophy regardless of skill level or compre.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Whatever you added to the team.

[Mo Welch]

Was John Stockton your coach?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I wish. My God, I would have loved to have John Stockton as a coach. He was my hero. Fellow short person. He's short, right?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Well, he's also a guy that, like, he's just one of those guys that if he's wearing regular clothes, you're like, there's no way this man plays basketball.

[Anneliese Nelson]

No.

[Mo Welch]

And I love people like that. You're like, there's absolutely no way.

[Anneliese Nelson]

He looks like a math professor.

[Mo Welch]

He does.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Maybe not even, I would say like a high school math teacher.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just kind of jeans and a bad shirt.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. He looks like. And he looks like a. He's always looked like a dad. Even when he was like 21, he.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Looked like a dad forever 50. But a very good point guard.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

One of the all time greats. Look at me acting like I know.

[Mo Welch]

How one of the all time great volleyball basketball players is.

[Anneliese Nelson]

He currently. He kind of coaches now. Right.

[Mo Welch]

I'm not sure what he's up to. I think he occasionally I will do a little Google search.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Of John Stockton.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, of John Stockton or like players who. I'm like, what do you do after retirement?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. Usually you either, from what my experience, you coach or you open a car dealership.

[Mo Welch]

Right. Or a restaurant.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, restaurant Johnson.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Michael Jordan. Which I always was confused by because I'm like, all these guys ever did was eat concessions, nachos, cotton candy. What do these guys know about food? Elways is still a thing. I think it's in the Denver International.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Airport that I think that is like the exact like timeline of a basketball player. They start the business, it succeeds for a little while, but then is no longer successful enough to stand on its own. It moves to an airport, right?

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then eventually dies.

[Mo Welch]

It does. And I don't even think with the car dealerships. I feel like. I mean, it's really funny to think of a popular play like Lebron all of a sudden has car dealerships. It's become now they're like media moguls.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, yeah.

[Mo Welch]

Or even on the lowest level, become social media. Like, eat more my gummies.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. That is kind of the new thing.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Like if you were a famous athlete in the 90s, you had a car dealership and now you have it.

[Mo Welch]

All right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I. Because I'll go home on occasion and there's still the car. Karl Malone car dealership. And it Has a very funny sign because it says on the side, it says Karl Malone's body and paint. But if you just see the first few letters, it just seems like a business. That's for Karl Malone's body and.

[Mo Welch]

But it's like an attraction, a roadside attraction.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's like a King Tut situation. He's just lying in a coffin or whatever. It's not a bad idea. After Carl passes.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

They could tour him.

[Mo Welch]

We'll bring it to his people.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Who was your team growing up?

[Mo Welch]

The Bulls.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, are you from Chicago?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, I'm from Illinois. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So we really had a rivalry.

[Mo Welch]

We did, yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Because there was a point when the Jazz were good, Right?

[Mo Welch]

Extremely good.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Almost good enough.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Almost.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Not quite.

[Mo Welch]

You know, I moved to Chicago basically when the Bulls became really bad. Right. After all the championships. Yeah. So it was tough. But then I became. I don't know. Then I was like, well, now I'm a fan. An even bigger fan.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. Because you have something to root for.

[Mo Welch]

And then, you know, you get to that point where you're in your early 20s, and I'm like, what am I doing watching all these games? Like, nobody's. I'm not getting anything. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

No one's moving forward. They're just losing game after game, and.

[Mo Welch]

I'm just spending hours. And I remember I used to watch the Bears games and, like, when I was in college, and I would just be, like, at my apartment watching them by myself in my room, and I'm, like, watching these people live their dreams, and I'm like, outside. No, I gotta go play Frisbee golf.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do you play Frisbee golf?

[Mo Welch]

I really want to.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. Have you ever done it?

[Mo Welch]

I've tossed it around a few times, but I'm not in a real way.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. That's a big thing in the Valley here, isn't it? People play a lot of Frisbee golf around here.

[Mo Welch]

I would love to try.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Or am I just assuming that because there's enough space in Burbank to.

[Mo Welch]

No, I really. I feel like that's true.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. Yeah.

[Mo Welch]

This is the only place in LA that it's happening.

[Anneliese Nelson]

No, I feel like Frisbee golf is something I could do.

[Mo Welch]

That's why I want to do it, because I also have the same feeling about myself.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a good slogan for frisbee golf. It's something you could do.

[Mo Welch]

It's something even you could do.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It just really negs you from the beginning.

[Mo Welch]

Something even you could do.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do you play it on golf courses?

[Mo Welch]

It's like in a park, I believe in a park.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay, so you're bothering people.

[Mo Welch]

You're bothering people. Yeah. Kids are getting hit in the head. You're like.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You're getting in the way of picnics.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

People are just trying to mind their own business and suddenly they're in the middle of your game.

[Mo Welch]

Even you can do this.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And I guess it's just like golf where two people can play at a time.

[Mo Welch]

I don't know. I feel like you could have a few people because then you each treat it like a hole or whatever. I don't know.

[Anneliese Nelson]

But you don't need a lot of people.

[Mo Welch]

No. I think you could play solo.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, now that feels sad.

[Mo Welch]

It is.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a tough pill to swallow.

[Mo Welch]

Well, it's like you're practicing then. And if you're practicing for this, it's kind of like when you're going to the pickleball court as you do, and you're going to just like. Yeah, I've seen, like, people do that. And I'm like, come on, we can kind of get out of this.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Find somebody. Put a post on Craigslist or something. Meet me at pickleball.

[Mo Welch]

We can't practice pickleball.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. How possibly you hit it against a wall.

[Mo Welch]

No. Okay. There are two courts. When I was, like, playing, I would go with my wife and we'd go with our friends, and there'd always be this woman that had the whole court. So she is taking up an entire pickleball court. Okay.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Now it's selfish and sad.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, yeah. And I'm just. And you can't, obviously, you can't, like, move her.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So. But I don't even understand. So she's just like, hitting it over the net and going and grabbing it.

[Mo Welch]

Yes. She had like a. Well, she had like a bucket of balls.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. That can be done anywhere. You don't need the court to do that alone. Yes.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. She could also do it on. There are plenty of basketball courts and nobody was playing basketball.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do it in your living room.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Keep us out of it.

[Mo Welch]

Keep us out of it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Selfish loser. Totally unfair. Wait, so in 2022, you were on this team?

[Mo Welch]

Yes, I'm still on that team.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. And how are you guys doing now?

[Mo Welch]

We won last season as well.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow. You're dominating.

[Mo Welch]

We did have a three peat.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, my God. Congrats.

[Mo Welch]

Thank you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Where do you play?

[Mo Welch]

It's at the Olive Recreational Center. It's like right in Burbank.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And do you have a coach?

[Mo Welch]

No, no, it's just it's rec basketball. I've been playing in this league, that league for like over 10 years, I think at this point. So we've been a team at this point. We just can't leave. We've been playing together for so long and we look so bad. Like, when teams, like younger teams will come in, they're like, I'm about to beat these. Like, little did they know. Yeah, little did they know. We've been playing together so long.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That you're a well oiled machine. Yeah, of course. You know everything about each other. Wow. Did you play in high school or college?

[Mo Welch]

I played in high school. I played one year of junior college basketball.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So you must be pretty good.

[Mo Welch]

No, I mean, I was when I was like 20.

[Anneliese Nelson]

But you're a three people. I mean, come on.

[Mo Welch]

I'm on the team. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

What's your position on the team?

[Mo Welch]

The thing is, you don't practice as like a rec league. You know, you have your. You basically, you live your life during the week and then you come in, you don't stretch and you dog around. It's so dangerous.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So you all just show up having done your own homework and hope things work out.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And you have, you know, this is my retirement year. This 2025.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, you're kidding.

[Mo Welch]

I'm retiring from recreational basketball.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Did you have to make an announcement?

[Mo Welch]

Well, I'm making an entire documentary.

[Anneliese Nelson]

No way. Are you currently filming.

[Mo Welch]

And it's Natalie Grace is in it. She's on my team.

[Anneliese Nelson]

She's really kept to herself.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. She won't put her birth year on the forms.

[Anneliese Nelson]

She won't sign the release. It's holding up the document.

[Mo Welch]

It really is. We just blur her out.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Small blur, just all over the court.

[Mo Welch]

It's been really difficult. It takes so long to edit.

[Anneliese Nelson]

People have had to pull her aside and say, natalie, you are ruining the documentary.

[Mo Welch]

And she's just. The thing is, she's a beast on the court and she gets to triple double every game.

[Anneliese Nelson]

We're rooting for her.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, we are.

[Anneliese Nelson]

She's the. You know, you always start documentary thinking this is gonna be the subject, and then you find the story and this is Natalia's story.

[Mo Welch]

This is it. So I'm in the backseat now.

[Anneliese Nelson]

How long have you been shooting this documentary?

[Mo Welch]

For like two and a half years.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, my God.

[Mo Welch]

This is what happened is I. I started to film it during this season and it was gonna be our big, you know, okay, we're gonna be. We wanna win the championship.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right.

[Mo Welch]

And we were by far the worst team, and we kept getting beat by 30 points and then 40 points.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Ooh, that's tough for you.

[Mo Welch]

And we were so bad that I was like, well, I can't go out like this. And so then I tried another season. So now I'm basically on my third retirement season, so.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, so in that first season, you said this is the last time.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, I thought that was gonna be the last one and then the next one. And now I've actually stooped to paying players. I'm gonna be paying some players salaries.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Can I ask how much you're paying them?

[Mo Welch]

I'll give them as. It depends on how good they are. But my plan is to give them, like, an envelope of $200 and see if that's enough.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just kind of watch their face as they open it and see how they.

[Mo Welch]

React and see if that's enough, I guess.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So when is the. Do you know when the final game is?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it's probably gonna be in maybe July or something. I'd love for you to come.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I will be there.

[Mo Welch]

Okay, great.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Put it on my calendar. Send me an invite. Amazing annalies. Write this down. I've gotta go to this game. I will be there. I'm gonna be the final shot of this documentary.

[Mo Welch]

Yes, you are. It's just gonna be all of a sudden, you're in the game, scoring the game winning points.

[Anneliese Nelson]

The first time I've ever been valuable to a basketball team.

[Mo Welch]

Amazing, amazing ending.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do you guys have a team name?

[Mo Welch]

Let's see. I'm trying to. We were the 99 bulls because it was like, the worst season in team history. But I've been calling the documentary Last Chance Me.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. Okay.

[Mo Welch]

So maybe it'll be called Last Chance Me. I would love. I mean, even your listeners, if anybody has a good idea for a team name, we have until.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay, we've got until April, too, for a team name. I'm gonna start brainstorming things. The Bridgers. I love it. Feels decent. First thought, but it's like, why not get the name out there?

[Mo Welch]

I love it. You become a sponsor of a women's basketball team.

[Anneliese Nelson]

The Curious Cases, the Natalie Graces. The names are right here for you to take.

[Mo Welch]

You're right. It's gonna be a hard decision.

[Anneliese Nelson]

99 bowls. I like that name. So 98. They were okay.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. They won.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That must have been when I stopped watching.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Then it got. Yeah. Then it was like they have to root for a whole new team and.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah, I kind of just lost interest at that point. As you should now. Every year I promise myself I'm gonna get back into watching basketball and then don't do it. Then regret it.

[Mo Welch]

There are a lot of games in a basketball season.

[Anneliese Nelson]

A lot of games. And now WNBA and NBA, there's double the amount of games to watch.

[Mo Welch]

Well, the women don't play as many, but. Yeah. So if you want like a smaller.

[Anneliese Nelson]

This is.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And they play in the. The problem for me is that they play in the summer.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh.

[Mo Welch]

And I'm like, there's so much to do in the summer.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a bad schedule.

[Mo Welch]

It is. I think they should be the same.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Time, get more eyes on it during the fall.

[Mo Welch]

I think it should be like an opener. Closer situation in the NBA, like where sometimes the WNBA closes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a good idea.

[Mo Welch]

It's the same day.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right. You have to sit through two full basketball games. That's not a bad idea. That's kind of the only way you can do that to double up on the schedule. Yeah. Summer. I can't imagine sitting around at night during the summer watching game after game after game.

[Mo Welch]

Well, I was gifted before the wnba, kind of. And I'm so happy. Blew up.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. It's really exploded the last few years. It's incredible.

[Mo Welch]

But the season before that, I got season tickets for my birthday as a gift. And I love watching basketball. I mean, I'm wearing a Sparks hat right now.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yes. I say yes. Like I know I have no idea what these teams are.

[Mo Welch]

And I get even. I, like a huge basketball fan, went to maybe two of those games because I'm like, you have to plan your entire schedule around this.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's an event. It's more than like going to the opera.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You have to drive somewhere. It takes up hours and hours. I can't imagine what the parking is.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. The parking.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Where do they play?

[Mo Welch]

At Staples Center? @Crypto.com Arena.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a long way to go.

[Mo Welch]

Yes. You have to find something purple to wear.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Of course. You can't show up. Not in purple.

[Mo Welch]

You can't.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Ejected from the game immediately. Yeah. And how many games a week are they playing?

[Mo Welch]

Well, they don't. It just depends on how many home games they have. But it was enough where I was like, this isn't worth the money.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

And I'm not the type of person. I'm really bad at being like, okay, well, I'll sell them this week. Or like, I'll reach out to my friends. Are you kidding me? I'm like, no.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. That seems now that I'm thinking about it. It seems like it's such a luxurious thing to have season passes, but now that's the most stressful thing I can imagine.

[Mo Welch]

It is.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's just like the planning.

[Mo Welch]

Don't do it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

The guilt.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

The worry.

[Mo Welch]

And it's like, oh, I gotta be in town for this. Oh, I was gonna go to my sister's wedding, but I have a Sparks game to go to.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Owning a dog.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It is less rewarding.

[Mo Welch]

They should.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah, yeah. I think it's more just find the games you want to go to. Go to them, don't go to them.

[Mo Welch]

I like one game a year. That's really all I need to go to.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow. One.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

In all sports, one game, I'm like, I don't need, I don't need 10.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Times the amount I need to go to. Yeah, I see like the traffic going to a Dodgers game and I think that would be a once in a lifetime activity for me.

[Mo Welch]

The game is getting into the game. Oh, it's parking, it's the whole hassle of getting your hot dog, getting your dodger dog. All of that requires so much more than the actual game itself.

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[Anneliese Nelson]

Is a Dodger dog different than a regular hot dog?

[Mo Welch]

I think it's just longer. Okay, but here we go again. It's coming out of the sides of the bun.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, and that's the last thing I want rubbing against my. Up against my hand.

[Mo Welch]

Hey, this is how we eat hot dogs.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Two hands, like a corn on the cob. Just eating the bun. So it's just longer and Are they building the gondola? Have you been tracking this at all?

[Mo Welch]

Not at all.

[Anneliese Nelson]

None of us, apparently. We don't want the gondola being built.

[Mo Welch]

Where is this? Where is this?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Some goron is trying to build a gondola from, I think, Griffith park to Dodger Stadium.

[Mo Welch]

Wait, that's long, right?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah, I think that's quite a ways. How do you even keep that up in the air?

[Mo Welch]

Wait, so if they're going from Griffith park to Dodger Stadium, they're just going over the highway?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I think so. And again, obviously I don't know that much and I'm just making things up. But that would be exciting. But I think we're not supposed to want this. It's kind of Olympics vibes where it's like this just seems like a wasteful thing, that there's probably a better solution. But so.

[Mo Welch]

And it's going over people's houses.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's going over people's houses. It's running into birds. Yes. Scaring people in their cars, just screaming as you drive down the 101. That seems extremely dangerous. Even if it's a short distance, a gondola is dangerous. It could fall to the ground at any time.

[Mo Welch]

And also, have you ever had fun in a gondola? Has anyone?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I'm having a blast. It's a thrill ride. Slowly moving down a cable.

[Mo Welch]

It's just like whoa. Oh my God. Look how high we are. Oh my God. Wait, there's my car.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I will say the gondola. Have you been up the one in Palm Springs?

[Mo Welch]

You know what? That's the one I do want to go on, actually. It's exhilarating because I don't remember it unless it's. It's on the way out of town. Basically.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yes, yes. It's kind of the first thing you see as you're heading to it. I've been on it.

[Mo Welch]

I was like, who goes on that?

[Anneliese Nelson]

People like me.

[Mo Welch]

Very exciting.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And I had such a good time. It's kind of scary. It feels old enough that something could happen. So you're a little like, oh, this is exciting.

[Mo Welch]

That's a good point.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then you get up to the top of the mountain and it's no longer deserty, it's more mountainy, which is. It's such a drastic shift from Palm Springs.

[Mo Welch]

And do you get out at the top?

[Anneliese Nelson]

You get out at the top. And I think there are hiking options. Boyfriend refused. So we kind of just had to sit in the lodge and wait to go back. Kind of watch people eat like Doritos and. Right. Probably Dodger dog style food. And then you go back down and do you.

[Mo Welch]

Are there seats?

[Anneliese Nelson]

There's seats. There's kind of like a weird lodge at the top. Or like.

[Mo Welch]

But like. I mean, when you're in the gondola.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, in the gondola, I believe you.

[Mo Welch]

Stand and how many people are in there with you?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I'm going to estimate 8 to 10.

[Mo Welch]

Okay.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That feels about right.

[Mo Welch]

So this is like a nightmare elevator ride is what I'm hearing. If that thing gets.

[Anneliese Nelson]

If that's how you choose to look at it, yes.

[Mo Welch]

Which I do.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I kind of see it as a little. A little splurge, a little vacation, a little cruise.

[Mo Welch]

I appreciate that. You're going out there and you're doing the tourist attractions in Palm Springs.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I think that's the one I've ever done. Oh, I've done that. And then I've done. There used to be a thing called the Robolights. Are you familiar with this?

[Mo Welch]

No.

[Anneliese Nelson]

This thing was incredible. This was one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced. There's an artist. I guess that's what he is out there. Some sort of thing. And I think he comes from wealth and owns A house in a nice neighborhood. But decades ago, I think started collecting garbage and things like this and turning them into structures in his backyard. Giant robotic structures, spray painting them, turning them into all sorts of robots and things. And every year during the holidays, he would open it up and you could go wander through it. Oh, wow. Obviously, I think that bothered the neighbors because he's just literally in a neighborhood and some annoying neighbor got it closed down.

[Mo Welch]

Oh.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So. But it was kind of the thing you would do in Palm Springs during the holidays.

[Mo Welch]

Oh, that's fun.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I have to imagine all that garbage is still there.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it's.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I imagine if you remove it, a bunch of toxins fly into the air and kill the neighbors.

[Mo Welch]

It's out of the closet at a thrift store.

[Anneliese Nelson]

He just donated it all to the Goodwill. Yeah. What do you do with it? Like a spray painted organ and T Rex that you found in the trash. But I think he might do private tours now.

[Mo Welch]

Oh.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So those are the two things I've ever done.

[Mo Welch]

Those are the two. Well, I've been to the date farm. There's a date farm.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I would love to go to the.

[Mo Welch]

Date farm, but I overdosed on dates because I've never had one since I had a date shake.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I've had a date shake.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And then I had. I like, bought dates there because it just feels like, you know, when you go to one of those places and you're like, they have all the things. Like when you go into a fudge store. Of course, I don't eat fudge like any other time in my life. But you're like, on Mackinac island or something. And you're like, okay, I guess I'm eating fudge now. And you have to buy a brick of it, and then you just have it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You always buy too much fudge. Yeah, you can't. You should probably buy like the size of a stamp of fudge and you'll have enough. But you buy the thing that's literally like. You build a home with those.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then you're like, well, I'm sick of this flavor.

[Mo Welch]

And my mom always gets it. She goes on vacation, goes like, Door County, Wisconsin, and she'll get me these bricks of fudge. And I'm just like. I like, I hate to say it, but I'm like, there's chocolate at the store and I don't wanna put anyone out of business here.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I mean, my feeling with fudge is you just ask for a sample, then you leave the store. You've had enough.

[Mo Welch]

Yes. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Which again, we don't wanna.

[Mo Welch]

Are you ever guilty? Are you ever samples I get like, even with frozen yogurt, it's just like.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You feel guilty with a frozen yogurt.

[Mo Welch]

And then I go. Cause then you do that thing where you lie and you go, I'll be back. I just have a show. And then I'll come back. I just don't wanna eat it. And then you're lying.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I often do that with like small boutiques or like local stores that have stylish but too expensive goods and they're small. And it's like you, you're the only person in the store and of course you're not going to buy anything. So then you have to say, I'll be back next weekend.

[Mo Welch]

Yes, I'll be back. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I lied. I've lied to so many small business owners.

[Mo Welch]

Getting on the phone. Hold on one second. Oh, you have to go right now. Okay. I was just gonna buy this. Let me just put this down. Okay. I'll be back next weekend. Thank you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I'm getting in an ambulance. I don't feel guilty in a frozen yogurt place because I feel like it's usually a giant corporation.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And it doesn't take a lot to make the frozen yogurt.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right. It's essentially powder and water.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. But I do it anyway. I will gain £20. I don't know why. This is like. I think that is where my people pleasing comes through is just some places.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Like this where it's absolutely meaningless.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it is. And I'm like, okay, well, I guess I'm buying the shelf because the store's small.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. I'll get trapped in that cycle. And what I do is I remind myself of when I had jobs like that that were just kind of part time or whatever. I'll remember like, oh, I didn't care what the customer did either.

[Mo Welch]

That's true.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I wanted them to go away.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I was like. When they left, I was happy.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. You're not getting paid any different. Unless it's like the owner of the frozen yogurt.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's where we run into trouble for. It's like.

[Mo Welch]

Which I have been friends with owners of frozen yogurt shops.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Brag. Yeah.

[Mo Welch]

It's not a big deal.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. How did we get to frozen yogurt samples?

[Mo Welch]

We always will. We always do.

[Anneliese Nelson]

We were talking about fudge. I have completely again memory. It's just absolutely. There's no. I would have to spend the next half hour trying to. To trace back to how we Got to this product, to this conversation.

[Mo Welch]

It's impossible.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Interesting. We start with basketball. We end up in frozen yogurt. Kind of a tale as old as time, I would say. Is there anybody on your team that's also in comedy?

[Mo Welch]

On my Sunday team, I don't think so.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

It's mostly just civilians. Yeah. Just pros at their lives. We have a mother daughter duo on our team.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Is there any rivalry between the two of them?

[Mo Welch]

No, but, like, sometimes, you know, you. You see, you see the mothering sometimes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, interesting.

[Mo Welch]

Just like, you know, I can't imagine.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Being on a team with a parent.

[Mo Welch]

I. First of all, I would immediately. I just know myself. I immediately yell at my mom that she's doing something wrong.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Of course.

[Mo Welch]

And I don't. Wouldn't do that in real life. But in basketball, I'm just like, immediately be like, please go sit on the bench. You're embarrassing me. Stop talking about the day I was born. Have you ever been on a team with a family member?

[Anneliese Nelson]

There's no chance. I mean, first of all, none of us are good at sports.

[Mo Welch]

So would you choose, though, if you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Had to, ooh, tell me a sport, and then I'll think of which family member.

[Mo Welch]

It's gonna be volley basketball. And you play basketball with a volleyball. That's the only difference.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And it can be a parent or a sibling.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, I wish one family member had athletic skill. I guess I would have to say out of all of those, probably my dad is the most. Has probably played some type of sport in his life. The rest of us are absolutely worthless as far as athletics goes.

[Mo Welch]

How many are there?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I have three siblings, and then my mom and dad. And I can say with confidence that all three of my siblings are horrible at sports.

[Mo Welch]

I think it's good to be bad at sports.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You think so?

[Mo Welch]

As you get older, you're like, what do I need that for?

[Anneliese Nelson]

To have a nice time. I would love to have a nice time. And I'm simply not allowed.

[Mo Welch]

You're not allowed. You're right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Although now, like, the older I get, I see friends getting severely injured playing basketball, which never even occurred to me. Like, they're like real horrible injuries where they end up with a surgery or whatever.

[Mo Welch]

I've seen, like, I play basketball outside sometimes with. With mostly male comedians, and I have seen a guy boom, both teeth out. Like, as an actor, you know, you're.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just like, say goodbye.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. What I'm saying is he is an actor, not me. Like, as an actor, I can't imagine I'm just like, okay, it's hard enough to be an actor in la.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Now you have forced retirement or you're in a new lane. You're a new sort of character, and you're now the hillbilly.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. Like, people have. I guess you break your ankle. People have broken bones. I don't even know how. I guess you just land too hard.

[Mo Welch]

There's a lot. It just feels a lot harder as you get older. I got an injury last year, and I had just started a new job.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, no.

[Mo Welch]

And I couldn't move my neck.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh.

[Mo Welch]

And keep in mind, I've gone through childbirth. The worst pain I've ever been in in my life was this neck injury. I went to the ER twice, couldn't wait in the line and was like. It took a week. I don't even really know how it ended up getting back, but I started this new job. So I was, like, in the writer's room, and then I had to be like, I have to go. I can't move my neck. And it was just one of those things where you start a job and they immediately think, like, well, she's not reliable. And I'm like, I swear to God, my neck. I can't. I can't move my neck.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Did you have to wear a neck bracelet?

[Mo Welch]

I did. I didn't have to, but I did.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a hard thing to start a job in a neck brace.

[Mo Welch]

I did it for fun.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, okay.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And I had to get driven to work. It was like. Yeah, it was bad.

[Anneliese Nelson]

How did you injure your neck?

[Mo Welch]

It was from basketball. This girl's, like, playing really aggressively.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I hate this person.

[Mo Welch]

I know. And I was like. And I kept telling her, stop bumping into me. Like, she's probably, like, 15 years younger than me, though.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And she just doesn't understand classic bully behavior. Oh, she's gonna injure more people. Someone's gotta stop her. I'm gonna find her.

[Mo Welch]

Thank you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That'll be the last shot of your documentary. Me apprehending this person, serving her papers for your lawsuit. I'm happy to. Let me know if you need me to serve her.

[Mo Welch]

I would love. Yes, I would love.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I'll track her down.

[Mo Welch]

And this is my lawyer. I bring one every game.

[Anneliese Nelson]

While you're sitting in the car in a neck brace. I'm tracking her down. Well, is there anything left to say about this T shirt? I can't believe I'm taking. I mean, do you. I hope you have another at home.

[Mo Welch]

I mean, I just. I have so Many T shirts like that. But I have only given it to one person, and that's you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, what an honor.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And it is now kind of stolen valor. People are going to be like that. Yeah. People are gonna start talking about me and saying Bridger didn't win anything.

[Mo Welch]

Didn't win that women's league.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. People. This could lead to my downfall. But I'll wear it proudly. Maybe I'll wear this to the gym.

[Mo Welch]

And show off on the weights machine.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And I feel like this will be long on me. I won't even have to wear shorts. I can just go to the gym in this. A pair of shoes. That'll be a new look for me.

[Mo Welch]

That's how I imagine you go to the gym. And I like that.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just, it's kind of like when you're eight, like pajamas, you just wear a really long T shirt, thick shirt.

[Mo Welch]

Oh my God, that's gonna be me. My daughter just wears. She usually just wears a shirt of ours, but she's kind of fancy and she has to wear like. She'll wear like a silk collared shirt of ours to bed. Like. Okay.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do you feel like raising a kid in LA brings this out in them? They're just surrounded by other fancy children.

[Mo Welch]

And I think it's rebellion against me.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, interesting.

[Mo Welch]

Like, she sees how I dress and she. And then like her. My wife's mom dresses beautiful every day.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

And I think she sees her and she was like. Her rebellion against me is like, I'm not gonna dress like I'm going to.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Be your mother, a lesbian.

[Mo Welch]

I'm not dressing like an LA lesbian like you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I wonder if either of my parents dress affected the way I dress. And I've gotta. I'm gonna get back into that and try to think of interesting.

[Mo Welch]

I think I probably dress like my dad, who is like an ex con. And there are times where I'm wearing like a cutoff tank top and.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, interesting. Yeah. I do feel like your parents, if you just imagine what they wore on a vacation 25 to 30 years ago, that's usually what's in style.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So you just like find some old family photos from roughly that time period. That's what you should be wearing.

[Mo Welch]

That's absolutely right. I feel like people wear that on stage. Like I will see people in stand up doing standup with a Hawaiian shirt and they just look like they're on vacation.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yes. I think that's a. That's a safe rule of clothing. Just find a picture from. What would it be at this point? I guess it would be like, 95 to 2000. What were mom and dad wearing?

[Mo Welch]

I don't want those puffy shorts to come back, though, that women would wear. They were like khaki shorts that kind of went down to your knees. And then there was a big puff right here. And then there was a skinny. And my mom used to wear those.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's unbelievable that anybody ever thought, this is the way we should go. Fashion.

[Mo Welch]

No, Mike, that's not where I want the puff. Literally, anywhere but there, actually, that puff is.

[Anneliese Nelson]

No one's on board with that puff. No, but women across the nation had it.

[Mo Welch]

They had that, and then they had. Because then the shirt is a little bit tighter. The glasses are big.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, brace yourself.

[Mo Welch]

But, hey, my mom had five kids, so it worked.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You have four siblings, Brothers or sisters?

[Mo Welch]

I have one brother.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Are you the youngest child?

[Mo Welch]

I am the second oldest.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Are the rest of your siblings good at sports?

[Mo Welch]

Let me see. No. My youngest sister, she played soccer.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

And then maybe my middle sister would play volleyball, but. But we were not. I mean, my youngest sister was exceptional, but we weren't. The other kids weren't exceptional.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just kind of getting by. Getting by.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. My brother. Oh, my brother was on the badminton team.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. See, this is a sport I could be good at.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And he was on the. They didn't have. It was the girls badminton team because they didn't have one for boys. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And can I ask, is your brother's sexuality.

[Mo Welch]

He's gay.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. I was hoping for a turn. I was hoping for a big turn.

[Mo Welch]

Well, I was gonna let you. I was gonna let it be known when I said he went from badminton to being a Furry. And so I was like, I think.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You'Re gonna know your brother's a Furry.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's incredible.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. I've never known a Furry or someone. I've never been this close to a Furry before.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Did you watch the evolution? Like, how did this unfold?

[Mo Welch]

I did. So he used to be, like. He had so many stuffed animals growing up.

[Anneliese Nelson]

No, I'm just kidding. I was, like, tracking. Tracking. Tracking.

[Mo Welch]

No, he was. There's, like, an app, and you have an avatar.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right.

[Mo Welch]

And it kind of like. I don't really know a lot about Pokemon culture, but it kind of reminds me of. It's like, feels adjacent to it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay, sure.

[Mo Welch]

And so he had his avatar, and he's a dragon named Sin Syn.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

Big red dragon. And so he was that for a long time.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Not furry, by the way. Interesting. It's a scaly creature.

[Mo Welch]

Thank you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Sorry, brother.

[Mo Welch]

Sorry, but you're wrong.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Canceled.

[Mo Welch]

Canceled.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Removed from the furry community. So he. Okay, so he was on an app with a red dragon and it was for furries.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it was a furry app. And. And so you have your avatar. And then he had that forever because it costs a lot of money to get the suits made. So then he finally. And I want to say it takes a year to get it made from. Cause you design it with somebody.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow.

[Mo Welch]

And it's sent off. It was made in Japan.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow. How much does that cost?

[Mo Welch]

It was at least $5,000.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow.

[Mo Welch]

And his boyfriend, now husband, is a wolf.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. A wolf.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And does the wolf have a name?

[Mo Welch]

I forgot his name. God, I'm such a bad sister in law.

[Anneliese Nelson]

They must have a good sense of humor about this.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, they do. And I've also, like, when I talk about it, I ask my brother if I can talk about it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I would love if you were just throwing him under the bus right now. Just the worst case.

[Mo Welch]

That'd be amazing. Yeah. And if I. When I've said it, like on stage, I always ask him and I go over the joke with him because I don't want. Cause I feel like furries are bullied. So I don't want to be just another person bullying without permission.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You will ask the victim first.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then be ruthless. Wow. And do you know how he landed on the dragon? So I have so many questions and I don't. I don't even know where to begin.

[Mo Welch]

Sorry, I just kind of threw this at you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You're like, it's a game. I could have just gotten into badminton. And now we've got this. First of all, does he still play badminton?

[Mo Welch]

I don't know if he does, but he's genuinely really good. I played him once and it's scary. It actually became kind of like tennis.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So it was no longer a safe game.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it wasn't fun.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. I don't like to hear that. I like badminton to be a safe space where it's kind fluttering.

[Mo Welch]

Exactly. I want it to be a backyard game.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I want it to be a game for gay men, essentially. But he got on the app and then they had little red dragon avatar for him to pick. And then he designed the costume from that.

[Mo Welch]

I'm not sure if he did it or if he designed it. I'm not exactly sure how that worked. I just remember he showed me the basically blueprints of the design when he sent it to Japan, and then he sent me photos of it being made.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And I assume it's an impressive costume.

[Mo Welch]

It is.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

It is impressive. I'm not sure how, like, when he travels, I think he. So he has a special suitcase for the head.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right.

[Mo Welch]

And I always try to do it with a straight face. It's literally impossible.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Did the suitcase have to be custom made?

[Mo Welch]

I think, like, he bought it. It's like a special suitcase. It's like. Remember those big hat boxes?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it was. It's like that. It's kind of like that.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I love your brother.

[Mo Welch]

I know. It's really sweet.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Did he, like, kind of have to come out as a furry to you?

[Mo Welch]

I kind of knew he was living with me when he was doing the. And we watched mtv. True Life, I'm a furry. When it came out and we used to always like, someone would. Someone said in it, they were like, I'm a furry. And so we always like, when we would answer the phone, we'd always be like, I'm a furry. And so I guess it started as us bullying True Life and then he actually got into it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Great.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I don't think I've ever seen an episode of True Life and every one of them sounds amazing.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Where do I find those? They must be streaming somewhere.

[Mo Welch]

I think they should bring that show back. It was pretty incredible.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. If they're airing the Curious Case of Natalie Grace, cancel.

[Mo Welch]

It's basically Day in the Life, you know, sort of thing.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, I'm. That's what I'm gonna start watching. I need something to watch on tv.

[Mo Welch]

You can watch it on Paramount Plus. Are they new episodes or old? I think they're all. There was only three seasons. I felt like it went on forever.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Though, when it was on three seasons, probably about 50 episodes each. I assume maybe I'll sign up for Paramount plus for a week.

[Mo Welch]

You should. For this.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah.

[Mo Welch]

It'll take just one. One week for three seasons? Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow. I'm really excited for your brother then. Is there like anything in his future where he'll stop being a dragon?

[Mo Welch]

Maybe if he wins the lottery and he can get another.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's just more of a cost.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. I'm trying to make it big in Hollywood so that I can get him a new costume.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, that's very sweet.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Instead of like buying my family house, I really just want to get him another animal.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Have a custom made costume. Would you get to pick the costume or what would you. What would you pick?

[Mo Welch]

Not a fox. Because I've been Told that foxes are slutty and he's a married man now.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right, right. You don't want to ruin the marriage.

[Mo Welch]

Should we do. Yeah. I mean. Oh, I feel like a bunny would be. I've seen a bunny and I'm like, the bunnies are kind of fun.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Bunny also feels like it could get into some slutty territory.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. But also you could be the Easter Bunny at the mall if things go wrong. It's like a plan B.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's your safety net.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it's your safety net.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just throw a vest on it and, like, give it a pocket watch and kids can sit on its lap.

[Mo Welch]

What is it with rabbits in pocket watches?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I know.

[Mo Welch]

They're get an apple watch, you losers.

[Anneliese Nelson]

They're busy, busy, busy. Do they still do rabbits at the mall?

[Mo Welch]

Interesting. Yes, they do. Because they do it the Americana.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. They must be better than when I was a kid.

[Mo Welch]

They're still weird.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's a hard costume to make.

[Mo Welch]

It is. And it's usually a white bunny.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right. Interesting.

[Mo Welch]

Which is number one. Wrong. And their feet are always so dirty. Cause it's white.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Filthy. There's no way to keep those clean shoes.

[Mo Welch]

I know. I feel bad for them, but I'm just like, this is disgusting.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just put boots on them or something.

[Mo Welch]

I'm like, shield your eyes, daughter.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Although I guess if you put boots on a rabbit, then it starts to look sexy. And then it's like we're sending some.

[Mo Welch]

Real mixed signals to the sad Jessica rabbit. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I did, but for a shorter period of time than Santa Claus.

[Mo Welch]

It's completely unbelievable that a life size rabbit would be coming in your house.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's a hard one to keep that fantasy alive. Santa Claus? Sure. Just an old man. Even the Tooth Fairy, it seems like kind of a humanoid creature, the rabbit. It's like I've never seen anything resembling this.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

What could its motive be? We never really found out where it was coming from.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Where does it live?

[Anneliese Nelson]

That feels like an easy detail to nail down for parents.

[Mo Welch]

Exactly.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I mean, there's. The South Pole is left to the meadow.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Montana, if you told me. Montana. Montana.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Montana, if you told me.

[Mo Welch]

Can I tell you a big piece of news that happened today?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I would love.

[Mo Welch]

It's on subject. My daughter, who is five, lost her tooth, her first tooth this morning.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So what's the plan moving forward? Tooth Fairy wise? Yeah.

[Mo Welch]

Well, first of all, with Santa, we never talked about it. Only out of, like, laziness. And so she doesn't really care about It. So she doesn't really ask a lot of questions.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

And so I'm like, well, I feel like. I don't know. It feels weird now that she's five to all of a sudden be like, no, there's a man that comes into our house and gives you presents. You know?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. You kind of have to let the frog boil in that situation where it's.

[Mo Welch]

Like, they have to believe it. Younger, I think she didn't ask any questions. And so we were just like. Like, never said anything.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So does Santa come at Christmas?

[Mo Welch]

Like, this year we put some gifts that said from Santa. But, like, she never asked one question. She's not.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Psychological effect.

[Mo Welch]

It really is.

[Anneliese Nelson]

She's going to be so confused because.

[Mo Welch]

Children tell me anything. They're like, it never came up.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So the tooth fairy. Now you have to decide.

[Mo Welch]

So the tooth fairy. I'm trying to figure out what people do, because a dollar just seems like, who cares?

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's the other thing where, like, as a kid, I would have been like, a quarter. Seems like a lot of money.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And you used cash. You went down to 711 and you could get a Slurpee or whatever.

[Anneliese Nelson]

But now, what does that mean?

[Mo Welch]

We asked her what she wants.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, no.

[Mo Welch]

Classic. And she said, a chocolate coin. Oh, no, we can do that.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. That's probably more valuable than an actual coin.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. And I don't know what to give her under her pillow. That would make it exciting for her.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right.

[Mo Welch]

Cause this is an only child who gets whatever she wants anyway.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Nothing's going to be impressive.

[Mo Welch]

Nothing is impressive unless we have, you know, a writing job.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right, Exactly. Yes. And then I feel like with the tooth fairy, it always, like, kind of peters out. Like, there's a few teeth get lost and. And a little bit of money is given, and then the parent's like, okay.

[Mo Welch]

Do you know why it happens all at once where Christmas is spread out, but all of a sudden.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, interesting. Right?

[Mo Welch]

Aren't you, like, losing your teeth all within like, a year and a half or something?

[Anneliese Nelson]

It happens pretty quickly. Right. Which is also terrifying to think about.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Imagine it's just like. Yeah, it is, actually.

[Anneliese Nelson]

If nobody prepared you for that, you'd be like, what is happening to my body? I'm dying.

[Mo Welch]

I thought she had a seed cut stuck in her mouth and then realized there's another tooth that was coming. And it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And, yeah, what's happening in the mouth is just a horrifying mystery to everyone.

[Mo Welch]

I think it's disgusting. I remember it feels like, you know, they get Their teeth. It's a huge ordeal. It's so painful for them. And then the next thing you know, they're falling out, and you're like, God, I hope it doesn't fall in the tub. Like, I hope we have the tooth. And then my wife told me this morning, I'm keeping the teeth. And I'm like, you're collecting the teeth? You're gonna be one of those people collecting the teeth? Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

A lot of parents collect at least a few of the teeth. Right.

[Mo Welch]

I feel really emotional that she lost her tooth, but there's no way in hell that I'm collecting those teeth.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's like, one step away from collecting their hair.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. It's just like you're collecting their dental records.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Gross little things.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

When did you start believing in Santa Claus?

[Mo Welch]

Third grade. My mom was sick, and she was just, like, had the flu, and she didn't have time to wrap any of the presents. And her handwriting is. It's so her. And so I saw that, and so I went in the basement when she was doing laundry, and I was like, santa Claus isn't real.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow.

[Mo Welch]

And we had a really scary basement. Santa Claus isn't real. And then you know what she told me? I'll never forget what she said. Don't tell Mikayla. Mikayla is my older sister.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh.

[Mo Welch]

All of a sudden, I had power.

[Anneliese Nelson]

How much older is Mikayla? 10 years older.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. When did you find out?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Third grade. I didn't put it together. I feel so jealous of you. No. Christopher Gibbs told me in class.

[Mo Welch]

What did he say?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Santa's not real. And I don't think I was really that broken up about it. I think I was still skeptical. I think there was still, like. I don't know if this is entirely true, but it did, like, it cracked the case open a little bit. And then I started putting things together. And then my older brothers were, like, started hinting about it. Eventually, I think the final step I took was on my Christmas list. I thought, well, I'll ask for a bag of magic, and if Santa's real, of course he can give it to me. But my parents will not be giving that to you. I didn't get it. Case closed. My parents are fools.

[Mo Welch]

Bag of magic. You could have been. It could have been another year of joy for you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I had to ruin it for myself.

[Mo Welch]

There's basically an industry that is built around keeping Santa's secret. Because even when you watch the children's movies, it's like, the adults are like, well, if you don't believe in Santa. Well, your mom doesn't believe in Santa. And that's why they always have these.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Like, it's ruining her mom. Yeah, she's absolutely losing it because she doesn't believe in Santa Claus. I have friends now. I think this might be a more modern thing where they let their kids believe in Santa, but any good gift that the child receives is from the parents, not Santa. So the child learns, these are the people I can count on, not some made up thing.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, I mean, I can't wait to tell her. I can't wait for her to come to me and be like, wait, what is this? What is this?

[Anneliese Nelson]

You're tell her in the middle of a fight?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Guess what? My mom, when my mom found out Santa Claus wasn't real, basically she was too old and her mom had to tell her.

[Anneliese Nelson]

How old?

[Mo Welch]

Well, she was in fifth or sixth grade.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay, so your sister takes after her.

[Mo Welch]

Her. Yeah. Naive. And her mom said Santa Claus isn't real. And she said, does that mean the Easter Bunny isn't real? Too?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Good for her for putting it together pretty quickly.

[Mo Welch]

But I'm like, you also believe Easter.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Bunny's usually the first one to come. You should check in with your mom about what she still believes.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Might surprise you. Well, I think we should play a game. We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse. I need a number between 1 and 10 from you.

[Mo Welch]

4.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces right now. You can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

[Mo Welch]

Okay? Okay. Promote. See? Oh, I'm watching the SNL documentary. I don't want to promote that, though. They never hired me. Don't watch that. If you guys want to watch me, I have a special out on Hulu. It's called dad Jokes where I go and I try to find my dad after not seeing him for 20 years, and you gotta watch it to believe it. What happens at the end?

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a way better documentary recommendation than the first one. That one actually has something to do with you.

[Mo Welch]

I know. Like, guys, watch the SNL documentary.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Everyone go watch Mo's documentary.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Fantastic. It's such a great idea.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Someone had to.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Somebody had to.

[Mo Welch]

Someone in my family had to. My brother shows up.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You were all competing. You all pitched on this documentary. I won. Okay, this is how we play. Do I have anything to recommend? I never recommend anything anymore. Now that I've brought it up, I feel like I have to recommend something. Is there a song I've heard recently that I really liked. I'm actually gonna look at Spotify. I feel like I've opened a door here.

[Mo Welch]

Do you listen to new music or are you gonna recommend something?

[Anneliese Nelson]

What should I do? Old or new?

[Mo Welch]

Something new. Cause I don't know any.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay, let me see. The newest thing I've listened to. Okay. I've never known how to pronounce this guy's last name. He used to be in the band the Walkman. Hamilton lighthouser Leith Hauser. He has a song called Knockin Heart that is unbelievable.

[Mo Welch]

Is it a country song?

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's kind of like a garage Y. It's love song. It's so good. Okay, that's a good one to recommend. I liked dragging you into that.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. Hey, I like. I mean, I won't remember that.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do you like country music?

[Mo Welch]

I don't like music. No, I'm kidding. I was listening to. I wanted to see what. Why everyone was listening to Chris Stapleton, so I've been listening to that.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And did you find out why?

[Mo Welch]

I mean. Yeah, it's like. It's nice.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. Is it like.

[Mo Welch]

It's country, but it's not like country country.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's not like radio music country. Yeah, it's more.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. It's not like the stories aren't extremely basic.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's not like Toby Keith.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. It's not like I want to. I gotta get out of the city. It's always like, I gotta get out of the city. So I lived in the city for a little while. I gotta get out of there. I gotta get back to my roof roots. I gotta live. There's a one stop sign in the town.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Single, confusing stop sign.

[Mo Welch]

And they're obsessed with, like, getting back together with their high school girlfriends.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Always such a red flag.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

She's in such danger. She's got this guy that is obsessed with her now singing about it publicly.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, he's just behind her. She's at her kids game. He's got his acoustic guitar.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Every mainstream country singer is a stalker and should. Somebody needs to look into that. Okay, this is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why.

[Mo Welch]

Okay.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers and you can lose huge.

[Mo Welch]

Great. I'd love to.

[Anneliese Nelson]

All right, number one, this is a listener suggestion, and the listener's an interesting one. It's called Mad Scoops Ice Cream. Some Sort of ice cream business. The listens to the podcast, so now they've gotten free advertising. God knows where they exist. I hope it's good ice cream. That's all I'll say. They listen to the podcast, so it must be wonderful. Okay, gift or a curse? When people say protein. When a bug lands in your drink and slash or food curse.

[Mo Welch]

Why, that's disgusting. That's like. I mean, if. I feel like that'd be like. If a hair were in your food and you're just like, it's a gift. Like, it just feels like a lie. Like you're just saying something bad happened to you and you just want to rebrand it, and sometimes it's just bad.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Correct.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, that's a curse. That's. I mean, in my opinion, that's. First of all, that seems really irritating. Don't mind your own business. Second of all, that bug is a person. That bug has a life. I think it's just there for a little bite or a little sick sip. And now you're turning it into food.

[Mo Welch]

That's empathetic.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yes, I'm an empath. Ultimately, I feel for everything, and it's paralyzing. I think that's a curse. Leave the bug alone. Leave the person who may or may not consume the bug alone. Keep your eyes on your own paper or your own food or drink.

[Mo Welch]

If you were on a first date and they ate the bug that landed in their food, and you're just gonna be like, oh.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah, what does that say for the rest of the relationship? But also, if you're on a first date and a bug lands on your food and your date says, protein also a problem. Yeah, there's. It's a lose, lose.

[Mo Welch]

I can't even imagine.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I think the clearest path forward there is to say, I see there's a bug in your food, and I'm sorry. I know what you're going through. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. I'll be eating my food.

[Mo Welch]

What if they touch your food to get the bug out?

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a huge line crossing. I'd rather eat the bug than whatever their fingers touched. Who knows where those fingers have been? Yeah, I mean, God knows the last time they washed their hands, the bug is probably cleaner. This bug is just out to dinner.

[Mo Welch]

Oh, yeah. This is a fancy bug.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. Probably in their finest clothes. They took a shower before going. Leave the bug alone curse. Okay, you've gotten one right so far. Number two. This is one. This listener knows my heart. In some ways, a listener named Keith has suggested gift or a curse. Crumbl cookies. Are you familiar with these?

[Mo Welch]

Yes, I am. Oh, my gosh. It feels like a bit of both because it's so exciting the first time, but it does be okay. I'm gonna say curse because don't they come in a box of four?

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's a good question.

[Mo Welch]

It feels like impossible to finish them. And I can't let cookies just sit on the. It's a curse to me. It's a curse to me in my body and my mind.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You get the point. This is. I have different reasoning here. This is maybe the most passionate thing. The thing I'm most passionate about. I might run for office on this issue. I think Crumbl cookies and God bless us all are horrible. I think it is the worst type of cookie you can eat. I think that it's a scam. I think they're truly. Pick any cookie in the world. It'll be a better cookie. Go buy a bag of Oreos. It's a better cookie than this. These are made to take a picture of. I cannot. And loved ones, friends, family have sent them to me. They eat them. They think they enjoy them. They are play. D'oh.

[Mo Welch]

Mm.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Buy. Let's see. Let's buy some eggs, butter, flour, sugar. Maybe brown sugar. You can do those. Whatever. Vanilla chocolate chips. You could probably buy that much stuff for how much four crumbl cookies cost? Disgusting.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Go buy some cookies at Albertsons. Buy the toll house refrigerated ones and bake them. This will all be cheaper. And it's better than crumbl cookies. I'm gonna take this company down. I cannot believe how popular these things are. They're not good.

[Mo Welch]

I agree.

[Anneliese Nelson]

They're just like a sweet paste that look nice.

[Mo Welch]

They go too far. Their creative room that came up with all the different flavors. Go too far. And it becomes. If a cookie is that heavy, like, when is it too heavy?

[Anneliese Nelson]

When does it become, like a weird little.

[Mo Welch]

When is it a cake?

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wet cake.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then it's not satisfying what you want from a cake.

[Mo Welch]

Right.

[Anneliese Nelson]

So it's now just this thing you bought at the mall.

[Mo Welch]

You also can't eat it with your hands. Really. You know what I mean?

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's a mess.

[Mo Welch]

It's in the middle.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right. Right. There are a lot of problems. And I also. I think it's from Utah, which, again, hits close to home. Utah Mormons are pretty good at making cookies, so.

[Mo Welch]

And you want to be the only person from Utah that's famous yes, that's.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Kind of the root cause of my problem. No crumble cookies are a curse. And Keith, thank you for finally bringing this to everyone's attention. What an important issue. And more people need to be talking about how horrible they are. And if anyone wants a recipe or anything, reach out or also just go literally buy Chips Ahoy. It is more satisfying. Nutter Butter. I mean, I could go on and on. Now I'm out of control. Okay, you've gone two out of two so far.

[Mo Welch]

You're over telling people to eat Nutter Butters. Where's. Where have we gone in this podcast? As if Nutter Butters are good at all.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Nutter Butters are delicious.

[Mo Welch]

No, they barely taste like peanut butter anymore.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I don't know if they changed the recipe.

[Mo Welch]

I just. Once you have it as an adult, trust me, it's underwhelming. And so is the, like the peanut butter cookie from Girl Scouts, the all peanut butter one.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, I've been curious about that one recently.

[Mo Welch]

You know what? They ripped it off from Nutter Butter. I'll say it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I feel like the Girl Scout peanut butter is actually more up my alley because it's more. It's less sweet. It's more like an oatmeal.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, I think that cookie is wrong. I'd rather have the one that's chocolate. The peanut Butter Patty.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I think that one's bad. That one is like, that is starting to approach crumbl territory where it's like, it's advertised its thing, but it's not really those things. It's like not real chocolate. It's like not real peanut butter. It looks and appears.

[Mo Welch]

Is it not real peanut butter?

[Anneliese Nelson]

I don't think so.

[Mo Welch]

Okay, well, it's delicious.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Everyone do your homework. The only Girl Scout cookie I think that's remained the same is the Thin Mint.

[Mo Welch]

The Thin Mint. And you know what? The shortbread one.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Mo Welch]

It's good.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That makes sense. You can't really do anything to shortbread other than keep putting butter and sugar together. The Thin Mint. I will say this, the Thin Mint is one of the few things that has remained the same over decades. Yeah, I think it tastes the same now as it did in 1993.

[Mo Welch]

Yep. Neighborhoods change, you know, people get older. The Thin Mint stays the same.

[Anneliese Nelson]

The Thin Mint. You can always count on the Thin Mint. Okay, two out of two so far. Number three. This is from a listener named Callie. Gift or a curse? A drive thru that doesn't have a trash can to throw out old drinks prior to getting a new one.

[Mo Welch]

Okay, here's why. It's a gift to me.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay.

[Mo Welch]

You need to clean out your car right when you get to your house. And it's basically trying to teach you a lesson to don't go. You cannot go to a drive through if you already have stuff from cups in your car. You need to take a break and just go to your house empty every night. I. Trust me, we live in our cars here. And I have to clean out my car basically every night. And you do it at your house. But it's a red flag on yourself. If you've got too much garbage in there and you're wanting more garbage mo.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You win the game.

[Mo Welch]

Wow. Really?

[Anneliese Nelson]

This is my exact reasoning. This is about personal responsibility. The drive thru is not your maid. The drive thru is not your personal dumpster. They don't owe you a garbage can. They owe you the drink you paid for. And if I see a garbage can, like, where? What is it? Where is that in the placement of the drive thru? It's getting confusing. You're reaching out the window or there's garbage flowing out of it.

[Mo Welch]

Have you ever seen one of those without garbage flowing out of it?

[Anneliese Nelson]

No.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Because that's the last thing the employees think about.

[Mo Welch]

It's gotta be impossible to clean those. The ones that have the little chute.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah. How do you get into that thing? You probably have to have a lock and key or something. A password or something. And they're usually made out of that weird gravel rock. They're like, they probably each weigh a thousand pounds. I'm sure there's an animal living in every one of those. Those things are a curse. Nobody owes you. A place to throw away your old drink. Get control of your life. I have a car garbage can. Not to brag. I got it on this podcast and it's changed my life. That's what you need to do is get your little car garbage can going. And then if you don't want to throw it out every time, once a week, you just empty your garbage can.

[Mo Welch]

If you have a kid and she's not in there, I always throw shit in her car seat because it doesn't roll around.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Right. That's a perfect kind of garbage can. Carries children and garbage.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's how they should advertise this. Once your child has outgrown it, it's now just a trash can.

[Mo Welch]

It's perfect.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, congratulations on winning the game.

[Mo Welch]

Thank you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Very well played. Anneliese, do you have your gift or a curse?

[Mo Welch]

I do.

[Anneliese Nelson]

What Is it? Today, Anneliese is now going to present a topic that we both have to answer to, and then Annalies will tell us whether we're right or wrong.

[Mo Welch]

Okay. It's really just a quality check, being the first person to clap at an event.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Do you want to go or should I go?

[Mo Welch]

You go.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. I think that that is a gift, and this is largely about being a leader, not a follower. You're making your decision right there that you enjoy the performance, you're setting the trend, and if nobody else claps, you may be humiliating yourself and disrupting something, but you made the choice, you took a risk, and it's gonna pay off huge, because suddenly you're going to be surrounded by applause, and you're going to think, I started that. Yeah, I'm the clapper. What do you think, Curse?

[Mo Welch]

For all of the reasons that you just said, this person wants to be on stage. They wish that they could be the one that gets the applause, but they go, well, what's the next best thing? I'm gonna start the applause and pretend like it's for me. Okay. I'm gonna make it about me. And it's even better if nobody claps. They're the first one to stand at a standing ovation. I know. It's curse, wrong.

[Anneliese Nelson]

They're the star now. Good for them for taking control of their life.

[Mo Welch]

Leader.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Annalise, what do you think?

[Mo Welch]

Bridger's right.

[Unknown]

It's a gift.

[Mo Welch]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mo, but you're just jealous. All those reasons just point to you just thinking, you know, I wish I could be that brave. I wish I could be the one.

[Bridger Winegar]

To clap first, because that's me.

[Mo Welch]

I always. Every time somebody claps first, I'm thinking, God, I wish that was me. I wish I had that confidence. And therefore, it is a gift, because it's something to aspire to.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Wow. Good for me. Yeah, Mo, what a. You really fell on your face after your big show.

[Mo Welch]

You know, I should be buying tickets to the person that's the first one to clap at an event.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You will be, because once they do that, they're on their way to success. And you'll be the first person to clap at their big show. At their clapping show. Okay, this is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no Emails. People write into I saidnowgiftsmail.com. they're curious. Their lives are a mess. They need help. They're asking all sorts of things. Will you help me answer a listener question? Okay. This says hello. Dear Bridger and the guest of the week, that is you. I need to break up with my boyfriend, but I need to do it over the phone. I want to give him a gift as a way to make up for it. I know it's strange, but we just celebrated our three year anniversary, and I feel as though a gift will tell him how much I still care about him and tell him I still want him in my life, but platonically instead. Giving gifts is one of my love languages. Part of the problem is he's very minimalistic, and I don't want to give him something that will be a burden. He and I are both transgender and are endlessly excited about mundane things utilizing the colors of the trans flag. I worry about giving him something too personal because I don't want to give him a gaudy reminder of me. It is completely reasonable to tell me a gift is inappropriate, but I'm hopeful that I can find something to help make this an easier breakup for him to process. Thanks. And that's from Cain. P.S. the reason I need to break up with him is that I'm simply not attracted to him anymore. So there's a sort of burn at the end. That's a tough thing to hear. Fair. But also probably unnecessary to put in the letter. Kane, this poor guy is just out there.

[Mo Welch]

Well, now I'm starting to think of gift ideas now that I have that.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Piece of information, now that we know he's an ago.

[Mo Welch]

Nothing a hat can't fix.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Oh. What do you think about this? I mean, I think it's appropriate to give a gift. I mean, I think when I hear somebody doesn't want things that are minimalistic, a nice gift is removing yourself from their lives.

[Mo Welch]

That's a great gift.

[Anneliese Nelson]

One last thing they have to worry about. That won't be the color of the trans flag, but it's a starting point.

[Mo Welch]

What is the color of abandonment.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Next week? That's a lonely color to look at. But what is something else you could give? That's. I mean, I'm just thinking of mean things. A mirror. But Kane kind of of didn't give us that much to work with here.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Other than an insult.

[Mo Welch]

Right. I mean, you can never go wrong with a T shirt that says I'm with stupid. I'll say that. But, you know, you're single. It's like, it feels weird to give a gift that's gonna help somebody else hook up, but it seems like it's gonna be a good breakup.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah.

[Mo Welch]

So maybe something a single person would like.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I'm with no one.

[Mo Welch]

I'm with no one.

[Anneliese Nelson]

My life is empty. Don't ask me why my last partner broke up with me. These are all T shirts.

[Mo Welch]

This is. Yeah, my ex bought me this gift right before we broke up. T shirt.

[Anneliese Nelson]

But we're still on good terms. That's on the back. Or maybe that's a necklace.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. What A necklace. See, the problem with getting somebody a gift when you're breaking up is, you know, when you look at, like, every time you wear this T shirt that I gave you to the gym, you're gonna think about me.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's heartache.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah, it's heartache. And so I. I don't wear any jewelry exes gave me. And come to think of it, none of them ever gave me any.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, you've gotta reach out to them.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Hey, I just podcast.

[Mo Welch]

Could change.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Notice something? I don't know if this is weird, but I know it's been 10 years, but. But I just realized you didn't give me any jewelry when we broke up.

[Mo Welch]

I have nothing to look at and think about you.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Except for all of these pictures that.

[Mo Welch]

Are on my wall in my secret room in my house and this country.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Song I'm writing about you. So I think that those are some decent gift options. Why not just an edible thing so he gets to eat it. It's a nice.

[Mo Welch]

And you can forget about it.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I think that's perfect, right?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then it's just like, you mean something to me. Forget about me. Enjoy. Not this crumbl cookie.

[Mo Welch]

Oh, I was gonna.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Don't you dare. I would never just buy the Toll House cookies. Bake them. They look kind of like you made them at home.

[Mo Welch]

It can't be baked. It can't be. Okay, Somebody's breaking up with me and giving me homemade. I'm like, it's poison.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's true. It's gotta be wrapped. Individually wrapped. This could be like a razor in the candy situation. Very good point. So it's gotta be.

[Mo Welch]

If they drink, I would say a bottle.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I feel like buying somebody liquor during a breakup is a tough one.

[Mo Welch]

A Trader Joe's gift card. Come on, you can't go wrong.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's not a bad idea. Go buy yourself something on your first trip to the grocery store where you don't have to think about what I want.

[Mo Welch]

And also, Trader Joe's is great for single people.

[Anneliese Nelson]

It's perfect. So many individual items. Everything is basically enough for one person.

[Mo Welch]

And say all of this in the cart. Everything. Download the Transcript of this podcast.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just send the episode to them. I think they'll be happy to hear that you're not attracted to them. That'll be a fun little twist at the end for them.

[Mo Welch]

I've never. Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yeah.

[Mo Welch]

I've never given a parting gift for.

[Anneliese Nelson]

A. I don't know that that's a popular move, right?

[Mo Welch]

This feels like you want to be friends with this person still.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Yes. Yeah, it feels like it's kind of people ple. Yeah, it's like, I think maybe what you need to do is just say, sorry, I don't like the way you do your hair right. And I know you could change that, but I've seen you with this hairstyle, and there's nothing I can. It's gonna be a nightmare for me.

[Mo Welch]

You could also do what everyone in LA has done during the fires, which is just go look at your closet and what garbage you want to give to people displaced by fires. And just.

[Anneliese Nelson]

People are so.

[Mo Welch]

Give a bag of garbage.

[Anneliese Nelson]

People are just dumping things. It's like, have some thought.

[Mo Welch]

You're like. It's like a shelf. A three tier shelf with two shelves.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Here's my broken IKEA dresser. You can't open the drawers, but do with it what you will.

[Mo Welch]

And then they're posting on social media. Just dropped off a donation bag.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just backed up my dump truck. Made volunteers. Life harder.

[Mo Welch]

Oh, Lord, help us.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Everyone's trying their best. Well, maybe not. Some people are trying a little harder.

[Mo Welch]

Some people are really giving garbage.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Well, Kane, you got your answer. Don't write back in. We answered it perfectly. Good luck with the breakup. Good luck with your new friend or whatever. Hopefully you two can remain friends after what you've done to him.

[Mo Welch]

God, we are so good at relationship advice.

[Anneliese Nelson]

That's why I'm about to announce my spin off podcast. Okay, well, you answered the question perfectly. I now have this T shirt to kind of show off around town. I'm gonna be showboating everywhere I go.

[Mo Welch]

Yes.

[Anneliese Nelson]

The gym, dances, parties, weddings, badminton, badminton. People will be intimidated by me. They'll be impressed, and then they'll find out the truth and lose all respect for me.

[Mo Welch]

Then you'll be canceled.

[Anneliese Nelson]

And then I'll be canceled. This is my road to cancellation.

[Mo Welch]

Also, it's a really ugly grave, so good luck.

[Anneliese Nelson]

I will say this is the worst color of T shirt you can buy.

[Mo Welch]

It is. It's clip art, too. And you know, they had the choice. Very lazy Burbank park department.

[Anneliese Nelson]

This is. It's screen printed so they could have, like, done Something decent.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah. They give jerseys now.

[Anneliese Nelson]

They give jerseys. Interesting.

[Mo Welch]

They're really big.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Okay. Of course. It's always really big.

[Mo Welch]

It looks atrocious.

[Anneliese Nelson]

This has been my lifelong battle of whenever there's a free item, it's too big.

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Why can't we occasionally have something that's too small for people?

[Mo Welch]

Yeah.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Just one time, the whole team gets a small T shirt and I get to go home wearing something that fits. It's ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous. But this is. I mean, the T shirt itself is literally like the fashion equivalent of clip art. It is the color, the sizing. It's just somebody said, that's the shirt, and I'm thrilled. Couldn't be happier with it. Mo, I've had a wonderful time with you.

[Mo Welch]

I've had a great time. Thank you so much for letting me talk with you and Burbank.

[Anneliese Nelson]

You're so welcome. Thank you for being here. Listener. The podcast is over. I want you to remain calm. I want you to take a few breaths. I want you to think about what you'll do with the rest of your day and make a smart decision, an informed decision. Do what's best for you. I'm gonna let you go. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Anneliese Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must must follow the show on Instagram at I saidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Mo Welch]

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guilt. Your presence is present enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me? Foreign.

[Anneliese Nelson]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies?

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Anneliese Nelson]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Anneliese Nelson]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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