Nori Reed Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Nori Reed Disobeys Bridger"

I Said No Gifts! with Bridger Winegar
Episode Date: December 11, 2025
Guest: Nori Reed

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Episode Overview

On this episode of "I Said No Gifts!", comedian, writer, and performer Nori Reed joins host Bridger Winegar for a delightfully meandering conversation about shopping, Buddhism, TikTok luxury grocers, barista life, and more. True to tradition, Nori disobeys Bridger’s only rule and brings a peculiar gift—leading to a hilarious breakdown of COVID etiquette, airplane horror stories, and some Real Housewives dish. The episode is packed with honest reflection, sharp social observations, and the duo’s unique comedic chemistry.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Bridger’s Day-to-Day Annoyances & TV Recapping [03:13]

• Bridger opens with a digression on a frustrating encounter at a coffee shop—leading to a discussion about indecisive pastry customers and paralleling to "people who do weird stuff with food."
• Recaps his current TV obsessions: binging “Little House on the Prairie” and recapping reality shows/commercials for Patreon content.
  • Quote: “Pick a muffin, for God’s sake. I’m parked illegally and I don’t have time for you to inspect every pastry.” (Bridger, 03:22)

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The Art and Intrigue of Food Shopping (and Perverts) [06:11]

• Nori reflects on her days as a barista, noting that for some, asking about pastries is “a very sexual thing,” sharing a story about the enigmatic "cookie pervert".
  • Quote: “It was so fetishy what was happening… it gets so sensual, weird. And you know, they never get [the pastry]. They just want you to talk about it.” (Nori, 06:30)
• Further jokes ensue about over-examining food and social media food personalities, e.g., Bethenny Frankel’s food reviews.
  • “You never see her swallow—take a look sometime, it’s really fucked up.” (Nori, 08:04)

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TikTok, Luxury Grocers, and Raw Chicken Nuggets Scandal [08:38]

• Nori goes deep on the "Meadow Lane" TikTok saga—a luxury grocer in Tribeca run by the “demon twink” son of billionaires, criticized for tone-deaf exclusivity, poor design, and uncooked food.
  • “I love luxury… but it’s not even good...people are calling it AI design because it looks fake...the chicken nuggets are raw.” (Nori, 10:06)
• Explores online comment culture, the intersection of privilege and responsibility, and performative defenses.

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On Trying Buddhism & The Silent Retreat [14:26]

• Nori shares her recent attempt at Buddhist practice, including a silent retreat in Big Bear.
  • Challenges of device detox, addiction to phones, and collective grief surfaced during the retreat.
  • “The first two days, I’m freaking out… all the things I use the phone to avoid are flooding the system.” (Nori, 15:44)
  • Her takeaway: everyone struggles, and being silent together is strangely connective.

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Shopping Habits, 'Dupe' Culture, and Rewards [22:47]

• Nori admits to extensive online shopping, buying—and often returning—fashion finds as a form of self-soothing and “giving yourself little tasks.” (23:06)
• Shares a story about buying a “dupe” (copy) of a $5,000 Balenciaga bag for $100, and the psychology behind shopping for status and validation.
  • “This purse has fixed all my problems.” (Nori, 26:14)

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Balancing Frugality with Indulgence; Neurodivergence Strategies [31:23]

• Discussion of reward systems and ADHD; Nori details how she motivates herself to deep clean by setting designer item rewards.
  • “You’ve got to get out of survival mode…when you set a goal for yourself and you reach it, it’s time to get a reward, honey.” (Nori, 31:59)
• Joy in cleaning gadgets: “I bought one of those long motorized scrubbers from TikTok and it’s electric…I was just scrubbing…” (Nori, 33:17)

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Meal Kits, Delivery Culture & Oppressive Systems [34:36]

• Nori argues against expensive meal services and home delivery, favoring simple, self-cooked foods.
  • “Just cook, bitch.” (Nori, 34:44)
• Both agree grocery delivery is often a letdown, and delivery gig work is underpaid and stressful for all involved.

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Gifts: The Podcast’s Namesake Rule is Broken [37:04]

• Bridger confronts Nori about bringing a gift (“I was raised right… going somewhere, you bring a gift.”, Nori, 37:31).
• The Gift Reveal: Nori brings a COVID test (half-used box), claiming she doesn’t believe in COVID, used one as a gag at a dinner party, and is now pawning off the spare.
  • “Covid’s still a thing you can get…but…it was kind of in my house.” (Nori, 41:00)
• Sharing both real and comedic experiences with illness and plane travel.

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The Great Airplane Illness Incident [42:16]

• Nori recounts a harrowing tale: a fellow plane passenger (en route to Burbank, possibly “Miss Chicago”) grows ill, receives an onboard IV, causes conflict, and allegedly infects Nori.
  • “It was so scary…looked like she was going to die.” (Nori, 43:46)

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Randomness, Real Housewives, Pop Culture, and Social Satire

Real Housewives, Tour Stories, Pittsburgh:

• Nori shares tour stories—making fun of Billy Porter in Pittsburgh backfires (“He’s from here, we love Billy boy…”—the crowd turns on her, 48:57).

Santa’s Hair Color & Genetics:

• Tangent on the color of Santa’s hair, ginger genetics, and TikTok pseudoscience (“Redheads are genetically Black”—both debunk and laugh about it, 77:53).

Cultural Commentary:

• Touches on “Quiet Piggy” (Trump calling a reporter that), “bad dicks” among infamous men, and speculative fiction: would the world be nicer with less dick shame? (55:57)

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AI Anxiety, Shared Calendars, and Phone-Free Frustrations [58:00]

• Rants about AI making life harder, not easier: trouble with AI-run property management, pharmacy bots, and inability to call real people.
  • “I want to be able to call a restaurant… sometimes I have a question…” (Bridger, 61:13)

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Restaurant Service Stories: Dunsmore Debacle [62:22]

• Nori and Bridger swap tales of bad service—Nori details a particularly mean waiter at Dunsmore, LA, claiming she never ordered the forgotten cornbread, making her feel bullied. (64:12)
  • “He rolls his eyes… and goes, you didn’t order it. I would have written it down!” (Nori, 63:44)
• Grassroots activism: "Dunsmore, do better!" (Bridger, 62:45) "Dunsmore, make it right." (Nori, 66:55)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s just a portal to hell.” —Bridger, on the Meadow Lane luxury grocer [13:20]
• “Your money flies away if you put [your bag] on the floor.” —Nori, on bag superstitions [27:47]
• “The only thing holding up the printer industry is shipping labels.” —Nori, on why printers still exist [23:57]
• “It’s just cook, bitch.” —Nori, on expensive meal services [34:44]
• “This gun’s like my dick.” —Nori, relaying a gun class instructor’s sexual jokes [29:43]
• “Covid’s fake to you. Women doctors. Never seen one. Never will.” —Bridger, darkly satirizing pandemic denial [43:02]
• “I feel like I’d be in Tibet, and someone’s like, ‘I love your work. Were you on this podcast?’” —Nori on LA networking [19:04]
• “If society made it a better place for guys to have weird dicks, do you think there’d be less violence?” —Nori [55:57]

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Timestamps for Noteworthy Sections

• 03:13 — Bridger’s coffee shop story & Little House on the Prairie recap
• 06:30 — Nori’s “cookie pervert” barista story
• 08:38 — TikTok luxury grocer & raw chicken nugget saga
• 14:26 — Buddhism, silent retreat, and phone detox
• 23:06 — Shopping as emotional regulation, returning items
• 26:14 — “This purse has fixed all my problems” — on fashion dupes
• 41:00 — Nori’s COVID test story, pandemic comedy
• 42:16 — Ill passenger on plane: IV, fights, airborne illness
• 48:57 — Pittsburgh, Billy Porter, and crowd dynamics
• 62:22 — Dunsmore restaurant cornbread incident
• 69:01 — Gift or Curse? (The game segment)
• 81:40 — Real Housewives of Salt Lake City favorites

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Signature Segment: Gift or a Curse [69:01]

• Bridger presents three items; Nori must guess if they are a “gift” or a “curse.”
• Topics include tornado siren tests, “pick your own” fruit/veg outings, Christmas TV episodes off-season, and more.
• Notable result: Nori gets 2/3 correct; humorous rationales abound.

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Real Housewives of Salt Lake City: Rapid Analysis [81:40]

• Nori recounts meeting Bronwyn at a NYC party; speculates on episode-related drama.
• Both discuss which housewives they'd actually want to hang out with (Nori: Angie; Bridger: Mary for watching, Bronwyn/Heather for friendship).
• Robust psychoanalysis of both the TV characters and interactions with Bravo-lebrities.

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Memorable Closing

• Nori’s parting wisdom: chicken stock tip with freezer bagged scraps (92:07)
• Both riff comedically until the show’s closure.

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In the Hosts’ Voices

Irreverent, tangential, deeply funny, and occasionally vulnerable—with the layered banter and abrupt comedic turns that define “I Said No Gifts!”

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For Listeners

Whether you missed the episode or want a refresher, this installment is a showcase of kitchen-table realness, sharp cultural critique, and plenty of absurd laughter. As ever, the pleasure is in the detours—so come for the gift, stay for the psychology of purses, printers, and pastry perverts.

Key Takeaway:
Sometimes the object in the gift bag is less memorable than the conversation it unlocks.

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Listen to “I Said No Gifts!” on the Exactly Right network and join the hilarity every week.

Transcript

[Nori Reed]

This is exactly right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Nori Reed]

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[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Nori Reed]

Hey Bowen, it's gift season.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ugh, stressing me out. Why are the people I love so hard to shop for?

[Nori Reed]

Probably because they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

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[Nori Reed]

When I invited you here.

I thought.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I made myself perfectly.

When you're a guest in my home.

[Nori Reed]

You gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your presence is present enough and I already had too much stuff, so how.

[Nori Reed]

Do you dare disobey me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Welcome to I said no Gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're here in the studio. The recording has started and now I'm in control. There's nothing you can do. No one can stop me. What's going on?

Well, first I would just like to take a moment before we talk about anything else to just speak to the woman who was in front of me in line at Found Coffee. This Morning.

Pick a muffin, for God's sake. I'm parked illegally and I don't have time for you to inspect every pastry. Look behind you. There are several people behind you in line. Pick the muffin and get moving. Okay, now that you're out of my way, what else has been happening? We're still watching Little House on the Prairie. We got back into it. We took a small break for no reason. But we're now powering through season two. Last night's episode. What happened? Charles and the girls went on a fun camping trip and Carolyn stayed home and almost died on the floor. She got a scratch and then it became infected. And then she got some medical advice from the Bible and that helped her. And so she did not have to amputate her foot. And she also baked some pies. What an episode. The show was terrifying last night. That show can be very spooky. A lot of close ups on this woman's eye. Somebody was, you know, dabbling in horror on Little House on the Prairie. And that's my entire life. And now I have to remind you of Patreon. We'll just take a moment and say patreon.com isaidnogifts bonus episodes of the show in the backyard. Why did I say it like that? Because I wanted to. My body wanted to. Me recapping housewives, me recapping Secret Lives of Mormon wives, me recapping every single commercial I see during these shows. What a. I mean, the value of all of this and whatever else nonsense I can think of. So go to patreon.com I saidnogifts if you want to support the show. If you don't want to support the show, you're going to hell. Okay, so now let's get into the show. I simply adore today's guest. Everybody does. It's Nori Reed. Nori, welcome to. I said no gives.

[Nori Reed]

Thank you. That's so nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm so happy you're here.

[Nori Reed]

I'm so happy to be here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The last time we were together, you, it was kind of a complicated situation because you ordered what I will say, the most beautiful BLT I've ever seen.

[Nori Reed]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then we quickly discovered that the bread was not stable.

[Nori Reed]

It was a house of cards.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was truly.

[Nori Reed]

It was too much. It was beautiful. Just like you said, heirloom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was like a cartoon sandwich, but.

[Nori Reed]

It was not practical. Kind of like a fashion, you know, like something gorgeous on the Runway. But you try to put it on in real life. You go, I Can't do this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Take it into the street and it falls apart.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The bread was needed to be toasted.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was like a beautiful white bread, but it was like, you got to give this some stability.

[Nori Reed]

Give it something. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I felt so bad for you.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, you didn't ever feel bad for me. I still ate it. I ate it. I deconstructed it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You did deconstruct it.

[Nori Reed]

Just do what you got to do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You shouldn't have to deconstruct a blt. No. There are three ingredients.

[Nori Reed]

Literally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It should just be able to hold together as a hearty sandwich.

[Nori Reed]

Can I go back to what you're talking about with the muffin?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Nori Reed]

So I was a barista, like many. Of course. What a. You know, I'm not the first comedian who was a barista. But what I quickly learned about that, what you're talking about is that it's a very sexual thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Really?

[Nori Reed]

Yes. And there was a man who would always come in and ask about the cookies. And it was. One of my first jokes I ever wrote for stand up was about this guy because it was so fetishy, what was happening. He wants to know the ingredients. He wants to know where's it coming from and where's it going and what's in it. And oh, oh. Double chocolate. Oh. And it gets so sensual, weird. And you know, they never get it. They don't get the pastry. They just want you as the barista to talk about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Whoa. It's almost like ASMR for them, but more sexual.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the sexual thing is between you and. Between him and you or between him and the cookie.

[Nori Reed]

We're all involved. Wow. It's a three way situation. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's so unfair to everybody.

[Nori Reed]

To everyone. To the person behind that person. To the barista who's just trying to get through their day. So, yeah, it was cookie pervert. The cookie pervert. So I think this woman is a big ass pervert.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm willing to believe that.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She was a disaster for me. I was so mad. She was truly inspecting. She had the cashier, like, holding the muffin up.

[Nori Reed]

See, it's weird. It's giving Bethenny Frankel the least.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let me breathe on the muffin.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Have you seen her videos where she's like, I'm a foodie. And it's like, girl, you don't swallow any of the food. She cuts. She will edit and cut before the swallow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She never puts it. Oh, and then she spits it into a bucket.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. You never See the swallow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is my problem with, like, you know, fictional television, where I understand that are shooting a bunch of takes. You can't eat every bite of the food, but if you're doing, like, a YouTube or an Instagram video, you should swallow the food.

[Nori Reed]

Her videos are so upsetting to me because, like, I mean, they're just so fucked up. Like, she's like. She's making a big deal about it and, like, whatever. And then when she goes to eat it, she, like, barely, like, nibbles on it, but doesn't even, like, with her, like, gums. She's like, oh, gross. It's like, really. Take a look sometime. It's really fucked up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is she going to the places to eat or is she, like, it's at home.

[Nori Reed]

They send it to her at this point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Because she's, like, a food reviewer. Reviewer. Now the only thing more fucked up. Are you on Meadow Lane TikTok?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, but I'm just seeing all the headlines about the raw chicken nuggets.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's going on?

[Nori Reed]

I'm being fed all of these tiktoks, and I'm kind of raid commenting, and I'm. I'm really good at commenting, so they're kind of always like, the top comment. Because I'm real. I'm, like, really good at it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's something to brag about.

[Nori Reed]

I wish that was a job because I would get paid so much. I'm so good at. But I'm so angry at that demon twink who, like, opened up this luxury grocer in the middle of a food crisis.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And where is it? It's in Manhattan.

[Nori Reed]

It's in Tribeca.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Specifically Tribeca.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tribeca. Okay.

[Nori Reed]

And he's like. He famously said that food wasn't political, which is one of the most insane things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a wild thing to say.

[Nori Reed]

He was like, food isn't political. Like, people are like, hey, hating on me because he's. His parents are billionaires, of course, and he's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wish he came from nothing. That would be such a funny story.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, but, like, if you come from nothing, it's like, you're gonna do something good for people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. Imagine. Well, yeah, but imagine coming from nothing and still deciding to open the worst grocery store in the world.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. No, literally. And it's one thing if it was like. Because I love luxury, so it's like.

I contain multitudes. I'm bougie with the purpose. I'm for the people. Not of the people, for the people. I'm kidding. I'M kidding.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're the top commenter.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Yes, that's me. So I love nice things, but like, it's not even good. Like the interior design people are calling AI Design.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Of course.

[Nori Reed]

Because it looks AI right. And it's literally like a Hilton corner eatery. All it is is just like a corner Hilton grocery.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

And they're like, oh, like, it's so. Not to mention the chicken nuggets. They're raw.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They were raw.

[Nori Reed]

They're raw.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, so they're like pink in the middle.

[Nori Reed]

They were pink. Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Chicken nuggets are already a thing that you really have to. There's like a trust you have to have with a chicken nugget. If this could go wrong.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So many ways to be betrayed by. To bite into raw. Whatever is happening in there. Because it's not just chicken. It's frequently ground up or God knows what's happening in there. So. And why is this place serving chicken nuggets?

[Nori Reed]

I don't know. When people were like coming for him from the chicken nuggets, he made like a front facing video where he's like, when you want to do something, people will always try to take you down. And people were like, your chicken nuggets were raw. Like, don't make this like. He was like, homophobia is crazy right now. It's like, no, bitch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's blaming it on homophobia.

[Nori Reed]

I don't know. But like, it's just like, no, like, it's because your chicken nuggets were raw, not because it's not a social justice issue.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They were probably each $9, you know, it was probably, you know, $40 for a package of chicken nuggets. So. Wow. And it's not like a full size. Like, no, it's not like an erewhon, right?

[Nori Reed]

It's cause erewhon. It's like, look, erewhon is also gross in a lot of ways, but at least it does what it's supposed to do, right? You walk in and go, okay, I feel what this is giving.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're like using expensive things to make expensive things.

[Nori Reed]

But like his place, it's like, it literally looks like he walks into like a Hyatt and it's like they're selling deli. It's just so bizarre. And then all the comments, people defending him, they're all just like rich white girls being like, leave, he's gay. And it's like, no, it doesn't matter. I don't care that he's gay. Like, what?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What have you been Commenting.

[Nori Reed]

Just the F word. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have it. Like, just kind of like one thing. I. Okay. On his front facing video, I did. Top comment. I did say something to the effect of, like. Because in the video he says, like, screw me for pursuing my passion. Like, sorry that I left venture capitalism. I'm not kidding. This is. This is what he said. I left venture capitalism because I had a dream. And I guess, like, F me for, like, having a dream. And I think I said, like, if my parents were billionaires and my passion was food because he said his passion was food, then I would make my passion about food, about food access.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Nori Reed]

So people could have access to food, not create a hyper exclusive grocery that has literal bouncers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bouncers.

[Nori Reed]

He hired bouncers. In a time when the country people cannot eat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are the bouncers doing? Are they checking IDs? Are they checking credit scores?

[Nori Reed]

It's kind of like the legacy would be like Hollister. So they're hawks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God. He's taken every horrible thing about retail and just combined. It's just a portal to hell.

[Nori Reed]

He's also, like, dead in the eyes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Nori Reed]

There's, like, nothing there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How old is he? Is he like.

[Nori Reed]

He's probably in his early 30s, I'm guessing. But listen, when you're that evil, you age really fast. So he could be like 26.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thousands of years old.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, he could be thousands of years old.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. What a. I need to dive more into this thing. I feel like there have been a lot of food people recently talking about.

Their passion is food and then charging way too much.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Also, hey, honey, I'm a human being. My passion's food too, bitch. Because I have to stay alive. What are you talking about?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's such an easy thing to be passionate about.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Yeah. My stomach is passionate about food.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't like being hungry.

[Nori Reed]

My lungs are passionate about air. Wow. I'm passionate about going to sleep at night, actually.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I wonder how long that thing's going to stick around.

[Nori Reed]

I hope it fucking shuts down. Nothing has. I've been trying. I've been trying to do Buddhism.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Trying to do Buddhist.

[Nori Reed]

I'm like a really bad Buddhist, but I'm really trying. And, like, this has really rocked me. Nothing has made me this angry in a long time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are you doing to try to do Buddhism?

[Nori Reed]

I went to a silent retreat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, for how long?

[Nori Reed]

Four days.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And were you silent the whole time?

[Nori Reed]

Silent. No phone, no computer, no books.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Nori Reed]

They said no books. I didn't bring books. Guess who's. Guess who's fucking reading? Everyone else.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What?

[Nori Reed]

I'm like, that's fucked up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a place that needs a bouncer that takes your book away.

[Nori Reed]

They were. They were just like. I had nothing, nothing for four days. Just your thoughts and nature.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And nature. Where was it?

[Nori Reed]

Big Bear. Wow. It was beautiful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And how was it overall? Like, the experience was it.

[Nori Reed]

I loved it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was no element where you, like, your brain felt like it was gonna break or.

[Nori Reed]

The first two days. Half of the time was half of the time. So the first two days, I'm like, it's this drug. This is a drug.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is.

[Nori Reed]

Like, I didn't realize how much this drug.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nori is holding up her phone right now.

[Nori Reed]

This is. Well, there's meth in here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm sorry, you hold up a bag of cocaine.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. This is a drug in here. No, I'm holding up my phone. It is. I didn't realize how addicted I am just to holding it, to touching it. Because they take it. They take your phone, they lock it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Okay.

[Nori Reed]

So the first two days, I'm freaking out, and all the things that I use phone to avoid are flooding, of course, the system, traumas, whatever, whatever. And then we did get to talk because we were in small groups. The second day, it was like 15 minutes. It was like 15 minutes of a small group. And I had this idea in my head that everyone else was doing good because no one's talking. So all I can see is just what I can see. And they look like they're doing great because they're all meditating.

I'm more of a beginner than everyone else. We get into the small group, it's like five people. Everybody's crying.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everybody's crying, like, immediately.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. And they're like, this is so hard. So much grief is coming up. And it was such a beautiful moment of like, I'm not alone. You know, the stories we make up in our head that we're the only person struggling. Everyone was struggling. That helped me so much. And then after the second day, it kind of went away, and I just enjoyed it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. And what are you doing throughout the day?

[Nori Reed]

I had a backup phone, so I kind of know I'm just on my backup. No, like, so the schedule is you wake up at like, 6. 6:30.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. It's already difficult.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. You're met at. You meditate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Then you eat breakfast, and it's like vegetarian whole foods. Then I had breakfast. My duty was dish duty for breakfast. So I Was doing all the dishes for breakfast with this wonderful woman, like, in silence. And then you go shower, whatever you need to do. Then you have the first sit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

So we're alternating between sitting meditation and walking meditation. Because it's beautiful. We're on a mountain. It's like gorgeous fall foliage.

And then before you know it, it's lunchtime, baby. So we're eating lunch, and then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How's the food? Good?

[Nori Reed]

It was amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, that's nice to hear.

[Nori Reed]

I've never. I mean, tmi like. I mean, that much fiber.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Nori Reed]

You're just forgetting you're going to. It's amazing. So what's funny is so me and this woman named Kelly, we would just, like, do dishes in silence. And she was so sweet. What's so great is that you're not talking, but you can still feel the warmth of her energy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Nori Reed]

And. Which is so sweet. The last day when we could actually talk all together, she was like, I know who you are. She's like, I love your comedy. I was like, oh, my God, what.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A reward at the end of this.

[Nori Reed]

I know how I was. She's like, my husband's an executive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is super funny.

[Nori Reed]

At Reverie, which is like an LGBT streaming platform, she's like, so we gotta get a meeting. We gotta get a meeting. And I'm just like, big Bear is two hours away from la. So you're still kind of in that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you went with a goal to network.

[Nori Reed]

Well, that's why I went, of course. Why do we do anything these days?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's to get a job, to meet executives.

[Nori Reed]

It's to get a goddamn job, honey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can I get a general yes.

[Nori Reed]

So she. That really tickled me. Cause I was like, wow, you can really be out of la. But are you? Are you ever out of la?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're never.

[Nori Reed]

Never.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I think you have to leave the country.

[Nori Reed]

You'd have to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have to get out of the country.

[Nori Reed]

I feel like I'd be in, like, Tibet, and someone's like, wait, I love your work. Wait, were you on this podcast? So I thought was really nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And is there. Do they give you a uniform to wear, or do you get to just wear your clothes?

[Nori Reed]

No, you just wear, like, comfy, comfy clothes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm so curious about all of this. What time do you have to go to?

[Nori Reed]

You're thinking more cults.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, I'm getting into cult territory. I'm like, when do you become imprisoned? When is there no turning back? When do you start to question, have I Crossed a line that I can't tell anybody about.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. I feel like in this situation, what felt so. It's funny how you can immediately kind of feel if it's culty. I feel like the difference is that we had so much autonomy. So, like, if you were too tired to go to a morning set, you don't. No one's pressuring you to go.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Okay.

[Nori Reed]

So that's the difference is you still have, like, control over yourself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And how did you find out about it?

[Nori Reed]

I can't remember who, but someone told me about this place called Big Bear Retreat Center.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Big Bear Retreat Center. Reach out.

[Nori Reed]

It's amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. That sounds so lovely.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, I'm already going to another one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now you're addicted.

[Nori Reed]

Okay, I'm addicted because it's a shitty time right now. Yes, obviously. Like, everyone knows that except the guy who opened the luxury grocer in Tribeca.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the people shopping there and all.

[Nori Reed]

The people who shop there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you're telling me that the AI that's meant to make everyone's job easier to manage just adds more to manage? On top of the thousands of apps the IT department already manages? Funny how that works. Any business can add AI. IBM helps you scale and manage AI.

[Nori Reed]

To change how you do business.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's create Smile to Business IBM.

It's the season to come together over your holiday favorites at Starbucks. Warm up with a creamy caramel brulee latte, get festive with an iced gingerbread chai, or share a velvety peppermint mocha Together is the best place to be at Starbucks.

[Nori Reed]

The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's. But there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50, like the DeWalt Elite Series 100 piece bit set. Plus, if you order by 2pm you get same day delivery by 8pm shop December deal drops while you can. Lowe's. We help you save.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Bowen.

[Nori Reed]

It's gift season.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ugh. Stressing me out. Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for like me? Exactly, honey.

[Nori Reed]

I'm easy. But you're right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Holiday gifting is stressful. And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired.

[Nori Reed]

Wait, what about the guide we made.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value? It's giving gifts a series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value.

[Nori Reed]

For everyone on your list.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out.

[Nori Reed]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How about something for the people who actually surprise you with categories? Like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto. She wants a pair of stilettos.

[Nori Reed]

Or best gifts for me that were.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So thoughtful, I really shouldn't have dying to see what those are.

[Nori Reed]

And you won't believe their prices.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just wait till you see what else is in there. It's basically a one stop shop for everyone. You know, I started bookmarking half the list for myself. Honestly, this is the guy for the 2025 holiday gifting season.

[Nori Reed]

Check out the guide on marshalls.com it's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Giving gifts gift the good stuff at Marshalls.

[Nori Reed]

I just feel like right now my two things are Buddhism and shopping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? You're shopping a lot.

[Nori Reed]

Oh my God, I'm shopping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And that's. This is a thing that stresses me out.

[Nori Reed]

I know, I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What sort of shopping are you doing online in store?

[Nori Reed]

It's online. Okay. And I'm returning most of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, that feels good.

[Nori Reed]

But that's how you know it's toxic as hell. And I'm like giving myself. What's funny is when you order things and you have to return them, you're kind of giving yourself little tasks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah. You're creating a job for yourself to do. Now you're part of the shipping industry.

[Nori Reed]

There's like some subconscious, like giving yourself a job. It's like animal crossing, like cutting down the trees. It's like, oh, got to print out the shipping label. Got to take it to ups. I have a purpose today. It's weird.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The items that need to be returned that are just haunting me sitting on the kitchen counter.

[Nori Reed]

You don't return them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I need. I just take forever.

[Nori Reed]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They just sit there and sit there and sit there and it's not that difficult to return them.

[Nori Reed]

It is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay?

[Nori Reed]

It is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I appreciate it.

[Nori Reed]

You know, I realized I have a printer solely for the purpose of printing shipping labels.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's almost the only reason people use a printer anymore.

[Nori Reed]

It's the only thing holding up the printer industry is shipping labels and the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fact that each pack of ink costs $300.

[Nori Reed]

Literally. I bet they could do QR codes for everything. But the lobby, the printing lobby is like, no, no, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Please make it as much as possible.

[Nori Reed]

We need to print out the lab. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And printers.

Well, I'm not even going to get into the printer situation, because I cannot. Somebody's got. We've got to do a class action against these companies. They make you buy all four colors. We're not using the three other colors.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. And then it's always out. I feel like I print out three pages now, and it's like, beep, beep, beep, beep. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bitch. I just bought a cartridge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's gotta be a solution.

[Nori Reed]

Something's going on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's something. I think it's the printer lobby, the ink lobby.

[Nori Reed]

Also now my paper's not loading.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Oh, God.

[Nori Reed]

You know how it's like. It's not. You gotta. It's kind of like sex. It's like. You gotta, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Gotta really figure foreplay.

[Nori Reed]

You gotta kind of, like, rustle it a little bit. Kind of make sure the paper's gone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's really erotic.

[Nori Reed]

Everything's so erotic now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a lot of noise. Yeah.

[Nori Reed]

Clearly very horny. Like, I'm like, cookies are sexual. Printers are sex.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like, okay, what have you bought online?

[Nori Reed]

Clothes. I bought my first fake. Well, okay, It's a dupe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

The bag is not claiming to be a Balenciaga. There's no labels or anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

But it's the same exact purse, Right? Just a hundred dollars from China.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Compared to what?

[Nori Reed]

5,000.

[Bridger Weiniger]

5,000.

[Nori Reed]

It's the same bag, Bridger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course it is.

[Nori Reed]

It must be the same factory because it's the same bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Nori Reed]

I went to the Balenciaga store, so it's the exact same bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Nori Reed]

It's insane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And how did you find the dupe?

[Nori Reed]

TikTok.

[Bridger Weiniger]

TikTok.

[Nori Reed]

I did a lot of digging around, went to some dark web places.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And did you find the real bag first? And then searched for. Okay.

[Nori Reed]

I was obsessed with this. Called the rodeo. And I'm like. I became. I mean, it's definitely. There's something going on psychologically, of course.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anytime you buy something, there's a little like, well, maybe this will fix some problem for me.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then it doesn't. And then you keep buying things.

[Nori Reed]

You have to keep buying stuff. But I will say that this purse has fixed all of my problems.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank God. Finally you found the purse.

[Nori Reed]

I'm in love. Like, I literally. The compliments I get when I'm just walking out in the world, people are like, I love that. I love that bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, to have a bag compliment. Nothing's better.

[Nori Reed]

Nothing feels great. I was in Sephora Honey, the Sephora girls were all over the bag, and I said, oh, it's a dupe. It's a dupe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you're telling people.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, I would feel. I would. It doesn't feel right to me to. I have to be like, it's a dupe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You say it in a very cute way.

[Nori Reed]

It's a dupe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to get my eyes on this thing. It's called the Rodeo Bago bag.

[Nori Reed]

It's Gorgina.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see here. Oh, it's like a beautiful black bag.

[Nori Reed]

Beautiful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see.

[Nori Reed]

It's kind of like their version of like a Kelly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

It's very Clemez. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, I'm not in the bag world. I. I spend about $40 on a bag.

[Nori Reed]

That's beautiful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's what it is. What it is.

[Nori Reed]

Man bags are, like, so in right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Are they?

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Like, a lot of. There's a lot of tick tock. Kind of like man bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Fervor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, that's like a big. I used to work in fashion, so I kind of. It makes me. Yeah, I get really, like, excited about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Yeah. For me, I buy one bag every three to four years.

[Nori Reed]

That's great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. They get a little dirty and I think I should be.

[Nori Reed]

Maybe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe every 18 months I should be buying a bag.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I'm taking it everywhere. I'm putting it on stuff. I finally stopped putting it on the floor because somebody told me about the superstition, you never. Your money flies away if you put.

[Nori Reed]

It on the floor. You never put it on the floor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'd been putting my bag on every floor I could find. Well, probably bathroom floors.

[Nori Reed]

No, no, no, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm filthy.

[Nori Reed]

If I was a boy, I would get a Loewe bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, what's that?

[Nori Reed]

Do you like Loewe?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're exposing me as just a classless person.

[Nori Reed]

I'm so sorry. And again, I am a Buddhist, so this is, you know, Buddha.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, you're really throwing it off.

[Nori Reed]

I like when the government took my passport earlier this year.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God, what a nightmare.

[Nori Reed]

It was horrible, right? They took my birth certificate. I had no doctor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Disgusting.

[Nori Reed]

Terrifying, right? So when I, like, when it happened, I, like, I took a gun class.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good for you.

[Nori Reed]

I took a gun class in Azusa. And it's like, I'm literally a Buddhist. And I was just like, why am I here? And, like, by the end of it, I was like, you know what? I really am a pacifist. And, like, I'd rather just die.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What sort of guns did they have you shooting?

[Nori Reed]

Glocks. Really, really big Glocks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Nori Reed]

And I was. And like, by the end, I was like, I do not want a gun. Maybe it's good I know how to use one. Because now I just, like, know how to use one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? If we get to, like, a Mad Max point.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. But I'm like. I'm like, I'd rather they shoot me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's how I feel.

[Nori Reed]

I just want to die.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just don't know that. Yeah. Like, that I want to be part of a world where I have to defend myself with a gun.

[Nori Reed]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's the point?

[Nori Reed]

The guy was so weird. He was like, a weird guy. He had, like. Imagine, like, shock. A skinny, skinny man with long braids and kind of like smelly, kind of like hoarder vibes. Kind of like doomsday er.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm picturing that. The people in Children of Men. You ever see that movie?

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, that's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's those weird dreadlock people.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Kind of a. Kind of a weird guy. But he kept telling really overtly sexual jokes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God.

[Nori Reed]

And in any other context, like, I would be like, shut up. But he had a gun, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. There's nothing you can do in this.

[Nori Reed]

I had to just, like, listen. Like, he was like, this gun's like my dick. Like, duh, duh, duh. And we were all just like, ha, ha ha ha. Because he, like, fully has a gun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What do you have? Whatever you think. Dick.

[Nori Reed]

Whatever. Your dick. Your dick is great, dear. We love your dick. It's like, crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How were you as a shot?

[Nori Reed]

Bad. He got so angry at me. Cause I just kept. I couldn't understand the shot. The.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The target or the.

[Nori Reed]

Well, there's. On the gun itself, there's, like, a thing that help. That you're supposed to, like, line up. Oh, the little eyesight thing, Right. I couldn't. I couldn't. My brain wasn't comprehending the eyesight. And so he was getting. And he kept jerking my hand with a loaded Glock. And I was just like, what is happening right now? It was so scary.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's. Will you aim the gun down the barrel of this? Let's both.

See if you're watching the video right now. We're both. We. We have our guns trained on you.

There we go.

[Nori Reed]

Namaste.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You went to your first silent retreat and a gun class in the same year.

[Nori Reed]

I'm so unemployed. I am doing God only. No, I'm doing everything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She does it all.

[Nori Reed]

I'm doing everything. I'm not working, but good for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For actually using your time on something. This is so much better than me. I need to find.

[Nori Reed]

You have a gorgeous, successful podcast.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's very sweet. Come on. What? This is an hour and a half a week. I should be doing something.

[Nori Reed]

Bags.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get into bags.

[Nori Reed]

Let's get you a gorgeous loewe. And you're gonna love it, honey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, spending money stresses me out.

[Nori Reed]

Well, I'm really frugal, so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. You're torturing yourself.

[Nori Reed]

What I'm learning is that reward systems are actually so good for goals. Okay, so, like, I reached a goal, right? And so I went shopping. I'm trying to. I'm learning rewards, and I'm like, adhd.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This might. Listeners have diagnosed me with adhd.

[Nori Reed]

Okay. Hello. Hello, brother.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This might actually be good for me because right now, basically, the only reward for me doing anything is that my life doesn't fall apart.

[Nori Reed]

That's. That's not good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's not a great reward. That's survival.

[Nori Reed]

No, you got to get out of survival mode, and you got to like. Like, when. When you set a goal for yourself and you reach that goal, it's time to get a reward, honey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And when you say the reward for yourself, do you say, and I can buy something that costs as much money or is it this purse? Or.

[Nori Reed]

I said like a designer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, okay.

[Nori Reed]

A designer item. And for me, it was. I struggle with cleaning.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Which is a huge part of my adhd.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right, right.

[Nori Reed]

And I said, if you deep clean your house and you do all of it, you get. You go. You get to go shopping. And I did. I deep clean my whole house. And it was really hard for me. My brain is. I'm neurodivergent. And I was like, okay, it's time to get a bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What does a deep clean involve for you?

[Nori Reed]

I burn it down and just burn the whole thing down. Get a match.

Deep clean for me is like, my apartment was dirty. Like, it was just like the floorboard, you know, what are the things on the side?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a floorboard.

[Nori Reed]

That's a floorboard? Yeah, the floorboard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Give yourself some credit. You know what I mean? A floorboard.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. My floorboards were dusty as hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They get dirty.

[Nori Reed]

Dirty. My bathtub was kind of grody, right? So I bought one of those long scrubbers from TikTok. Oh, I'm familiar motorized ones.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh, motorized.

[Nori Reed]

It's electric.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Love this.

[Nori Reed]

And it's Long, so it's like you're holding up like a boom mic, but it's a scrubber. And I was just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh. And do you get it wet or is it just like a duster?

[Nori Reed]

Oh, no, no, you get. You get that baby wet as hell, honey. And you put some soap in there and you're just like, I'm interested in this. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I like a deep clean. We finally, like, started having a cleaner come, like once every six weeks.

[Nori Reed]

I love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it feels incredible because I'm just like, I keep things tidy, but I'm not good at deep cleaning.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So, yeah, it feels like that's a luxury where it's like, it feels like the house is new again.

[Nori Reed]

My place was so disorganized that I felt weird about just even inviting someone to clean it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Because it's like, how is a stranger gonna know how to deal with this?

[Nori Reed]

A little shameful. So now that it's at a great point, you know, ground zero, if you will, which I always love to say ground zero, which famously. No dust. No dust at ground zero.

I. You know, so anyways, I. I'm ready to kind of maybe get a cleaner every month.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, it's a nice feeling. Some people have like a cleaner once a week. I don't know. I feel like that's. What are you doing? That's irresponsible behavior. What are.

[Nori Reed]

That's insane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you're making enough of a mess that you need a cleaner once a week, it's time to take it. Just evaluate what's going on in your life.

[Nori Reed]

I would argue I feel the same about meal services.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Like, just cook.

[Nori Reed]

Just cook, bitch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't cook at all.

[Nori Reed]

Big pot of beans. Big pot of beans. Honey, it's not that hard, you know, like, you really like every meal you need to have, like, delivered.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, delivery is. That's a non starter for me. I do not have things delivered. If I'm going. And I do go out to eat dinner every single night, I go, oh.

[Nori Reed]

That'S different to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Nori Reed]

But I'm saying if you know those services where it's like a TV dinner and they're paying hundreds of dollars for a TV dinner. It's like, you know, chicken sauce. It's like frozen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. It's literally a TV dinner.

[Nori Reed]

There's nothing. How sad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At least just go to Trader Joe's and get their butter chicks and. Oh, the tikka masala.

[Nori Reed]

Come on, Come on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're delicious.

[Nori Reed]

Delicious.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Genuinely pretty good. And so easy.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Also Grocery delivery. Of course I've done. Listen, I've done grocery delivery.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure. And, yeah, like, there are circumstances where you need things delivered. I get that.

[Nori Reed]

But I will argue that the experience sucks. Like, the person, the trust you have to put into the stranger who doesn't give one fuck about getting you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they probably shouldn't because they're making about 30 cents.

[Nori Reed]

Why would they? It's a really oppressive system.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Nori Reed]

Just go to Sprouts. Go to Sprouts. Get your blueberries. I don't know. I'm being crazy. No, I. I'm so unemployed. The moment I start working, honey, it's gonna be like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So they don't have everything delivered.

[Nori Reed]

I don't have time. I don't have time deliver everything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Every meal in a designer purse delivered to your door.

[Nori Reed]

I'm just in a weird place where, like, I have the time to just, like, do everything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Yeah, I do. I mean, I guess that is my current luxury that I just have endless stuff.

[Nori Reed]

Endless. What a luxury to just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To lose your mind.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. To lose your goddamn mind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Lose your mind. Lose all sense of time and place. It's just like, I never know where I am or what time it is, what day it is. Forget it.

[Nori Reed]

I tweeted the other day. I was like, I'll always remember that incredible time when artists were allowed to work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Nori Reed]

We used to be allowed to work.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The golden years.

[Nori Reed]

Isn't that amazing? And now we're not allowed to work anymore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no. Forget it.

[Nori Reed]

Jesus Christ.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How dare you think about working?

[Nori Reed]

It's insane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's ridiculous.

[Nori Reed]

It is insane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a fantasy that would be. Well, look, I think there's something else we need to talk about. I've been trying to avoid the subject the entire time.

[Nori Reed]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Nori, I was excited to have you here today.

[Nori Reed]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I thought, Nori will come by, we'll have a lovely conversation, talk guns, guns.

[Nori Reed]

Ground zero, all that stuff, and then.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We'Ll move on with our days. So I was a little surprised when you showed up holding a gift.

[Nori Reed]

Well, I mean, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna come here and not have a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, the podcast is called I said no gifts. Nori feels like you're throwing something. You're just throwing it in my face.

[Nori Reed]

I was raised right if I'm gonna go somewhere for going to bring the gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, well, this time it didn't work out in your favor. But, I mean, you're here. It's in kind of a gorgeous bag.

[Nori Reed]

Well, okay, talk about shopping.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Should we open it here on the show?

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, okay. I guess I went a little bit shopping for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So you're telling me that the AI that's meant to make everyone's job easier to manage just adds more to manage? On top of the thousands of apps the IT department already manages? Funny how that works. Any business can add AI. IBM helps you scale and manage AI.

[Nori Reed]

To change how you do business.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's create smarter business. IBM.

The holidays are back at Starbucks. So share the season with a peppermint mocha. Starbucks signature espresso, velvety mocha and cool peppermint notes. Notes topped with whipped cream and dark chocolate curls together is the best place to be at Starbucks.

[Nori Reed]

The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's. But there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50 like the Dewalt Elite Series 100 piece bit set. Plus if you order by 2pm, you get saved. Same day delivery by 8pm Shop December deal drops while you can. Lowe's. We help you save.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey Bowen.

[Nori Reed]

It's gift season.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ugh, stressing me out. Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for like me? Exactly, honey.

[Nori Reed]

I'm easy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you're right, holiday gifting is stressful. And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired. Wait, what about the guide we made in partnership with Marshalls where premium gifts mean incredible value? It's Giving Gifts. A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list. Yeah, Cause if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out.

[Nori Reed]

Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

How about something for the people who actually surprise you with categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto. Psst. She wants a pair of stilettos.

[Nori Reed]

Or best gifts for me that were.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So thoughtful I really shouldn't have dying to see what those are.

[Nori Reed]

And you won't believe they' prices.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Just wait till you see what else is in there. It's basically a one stop shop for everyone. You know, I started bookmarking half the list for myself. Honestly, this is the guy for the 2025 holiday gifting season.

[Nori Reed]

Check out the guide on marshalls.com it's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Giving gifts Gift the good stuff at Marshalls. It's in this beautiful Gucci bag. Very high quality gift bag.

[Nori Reed]

I'll say yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So I'm gonna reach in here. Okay. I'm pulling out something.

And it looks like it's a. So far it looks like it's a used COVID test. Is there a COVID test in here?

[Nori Reed]

Well, they do two.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You get two.

[Nori Reed]

So there's one. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't believe you're giving me one of these. When I get two of these and I feel like I'll use one, and then I get a little treat for later the next time I have Covid.

[Nori Reed]

I know, but I wanted to give you the treat.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. Why did you bring this?

[Nori Reed]

Well, you know, even though we never talk about it, Covid still is real.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Covid's still a thing that. That you can get. I know so many people have had it this year.

[Nori Reed]

But.

More than that, it just was kind of in my house, and I don't. I don't believe in Covid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you're right. You're kind of famously.

[Nori Reed]

Sorry, I forgot to say that I don't believe in. I never did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, you never did.

[Nori Reed]

Never did. Got it four times. Don't believe it. Don't believe it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Blamed it on bad luck.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, it's the Chinese family curse or something. The Chinese curse. So sorry. I'm Korean, so I can say that. But, you know, I just don't believe in it. And I kind of. I used one as a. As a gag. I had a dinner party. It was improper. Yeah. At a dinner party, I said I, like, put the swab in my nose and everyone was laughing, so I used one. But then I have one left.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, the joke is over for you.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, I don't wanna.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, the novelty is no longer there.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When was the last time you had Covid?

[Nori Reed]

I did get. Well, the test came back negative, but I got something bad from tour. I did a stand up tour. Not to brag. Seven cities, honey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow, that's impressive.

[Nori Reed]

Thank you. Thank you. It was really hard, actually, to sell tickets. The economy's collapsing. So.

I got something on the plane because from Chicago to la, specifically Burbank, we're so close.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

To the airport. The woman in front of me looked like absolute death. And I was just kind of like, oh, this feels weird. The flight takes off. She keeps going to the bathroom over and over again. And I have my headphones on. I'm not really paying attention. But soon they tape off the bathroom, and I'm like, that's kind of weird. She's ghost white. They start doing The. Is there a doctor on board? We would like a doctor on board.

Literally, they have to give her an.

[Bridger Weiniger]

IV on the floor. Was there a doctor on board?

[Nori Reed]

There was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Nori Reed]

She's actually sitting next to me, which is crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a miracle for this idiot.

[Nori Reed]

And she was a woman.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now, that's something I don't believe in.

[Nori Reed]

Bridger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sorry. Covid's fake to you. Women doctors. Never seen one. Never will.

[Nori Reed]

I'm so upset, I'm coughing. So you're getting Covid, But I didn't realize is you have to prove you're a doctor. Did you know that? No. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I guess anybody could be.

[Nori Reed]

There's freaks who probably are. Like, it's my moment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Nori Reed]

So she had to show them her. They all have doctor cards.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I had no idea there was a doctor's license.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. And it has a serial number that they type into a computer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That makes perfect sense. And I've never thought about that.

[Nori Reed]

Never thought about that. So she proves she's a doctor. She administers an IV. Cause at this point, this woman has vomited so many times that she's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. She's on death's doorstep.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. And so it was so scary. I'm not really articulating how scary it was, because it looked like she was gonna die.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. You were almost, like, flying through the air with a dead body, basically.

[Nori Reed]

And it's like a part of me was like, how selfish do you have to be to be that sick and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Still get on it?

[Nori Reed]

Like, that's kind of weird.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Going to. That's so important.

[Nori Reed]

And I will say the guy next to her was pretty ungracious and kind of angry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

And him and the flight attendant, a male flight attendant, got into a huge fight over what? He was like, she's dying, and you're pissed. You're pissed she's dying. He's like, I want to move. I want to move. And he's like, there's no other seats. He's like, I want to move. I don't want to sit here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, I kind of can't blame him. Everyone's a victim because this woman had to get on her vacation.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. And so, like, the whole thing was so dramatic. I'm just like, this is crazy. And then when I got home, I was sicker than I have ever been. I think she gave me whatever she had.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Right.

[Nori Reed]

And I was so sick. It took me months to recover. Oh, it was long. Covid vibes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's scary.

[Nori Reed]

Where, like, my nervous system was fucked. Up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God.

[Nori Reed]

Like, I was dizzy. I was, like, tired all the time, and. But it was. But I don't believe in Covid, so I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's no proof here.

[Nori Reed]

I think it was something. A depression, something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You were going through a rough patch.

[Nori Reed]

It was a rough patch, but this woman. I don't know. And whenever we got off the plane, there was an ambulance, aunties what was going.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I assume no one on the plane got to use the bathroom the whole time.

[Nori Reed]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So bladders were damaged. I'm sure somebody walked away with the uti.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, the damage that this woman did will be felt for centuries.

[Nori Reed]

I felt bad for her, and I also was annoyed that she got on that plane.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's very sweet of you. I think I would be just annoyed, unless maybe the sickness really just crept up on this lady. But I feel like you usually have some idea.

[Nori Reed]

Before the plane took off, she looked really bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God.

[Nori Reed]

And I could tell that she was one of those things where she's like, I just want to get to wherever I'm trying to get to. And, you know, I'm sure I'm. I'm sure she had some sort of pageant or something she had to do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's now Miss Chicago.

[Nori Reed]

She was Miss Chicago. Let's get. Okay not to name drop. This was Miss Chicago.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's been crowned Miss Chicago.

[Nori Reed]

This was Miss Chicago. And she was going to Burbank. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, she was going to Burbank.

[Nori Reed]

That's right. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, they famously crown Miss Chicago in the Burbank airport.

[Nori Reed]

And it's a beautiful affair.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it's. I mean, it's a pageant. It's a true pageant.

[Nori Reed]

It's at the Guy Ferreri restaurant.

Beautiful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that a restaurant now or is it still a cart?

[Nori Reed]

It's a. They've expanded into four restaurants. Yeah, they have seats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good for him.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, good for him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Does he still have the show? I feel like he's been to every diner, Dive and drive in.

[Nori Reed]

He's got, like, billions of dollars, right? He's so. I think he's like a multi millionaire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is dumps part of the diver? Diners drive ins and dives. He should add dumps. Diners dive in. Diners drive ins, Dives and dumps.

[Nori Reed]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He should start going to dumps.

[Nori Reed]

Pitch that. Pitch that. That's really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The dumps he goes to will just be places with bad food, bad atmosphere.

[Nori Reed]

He fixed them up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting, right? It becomes one of those renovation shows.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I like those shows. What is It Restaurant impossible or something. I watched one where they were serving muskrat. This restaurant in Pennsylvania was serving muskrat on the menu.

[Nori Reed]

What is a muskrat? Is it like a beaver?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like a beaver mixed with a rat. They're terrifying looking and they're like swimming rats.

[Nori Reed]

Didn't know if it was delicious or not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They didn't say it was delicious. I think it was probably one of the problems at the restaurant serving a rodent that's been in a freezer.

[Nori Reed]

Was it usually Pennsylvania?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, this is Pennsylvania.

[Nori Reed]

I think one of my favorite stops was for the tour was Pittsburgh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh.

[Nori Reed]

I've never performed before. It was so amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What about. It was so amazing.

[Nori Reed]

The crowd was. It was at a comedy bar that's, like, people who go there love comedy. Called Bottle Rocket. Shout out. Bottle Rocket. It's started by two comedians.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

It's just like a comedy lover's kind of, like, place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's lovely.

[Nori Reed]

So they were so gracious or whatever. But something funny that happened is on stage.

I started doing this bit that started happening during the tour. This might have been my fourth stop or something where I make fun of Billy Porter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Cause I talk about cabaret. And this was the time when Billy Porter was doing the MC character. Like, really bad. Have you seen clips?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I haven't.

[Nori Reed]

It's bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I need to look this up.

[Nori Reed]

It's Billy. Imagine Billy Porter and then talking about the Holocaust.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God.

[Nori Reed]

Like, that's kind of what's happening. So I'm making fun. And the crowd, which previously had been, like, really into it, they go silent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They turned on you.

[Nori Reed]

And I'm like, this is weird. Finally someone's like, he's from here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, no. And I was like, hometown hero.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. They were like, we love Billy boy. Like, he not only is our hometown hero, he comes back all the time and hangs out with people. So they were, like, kind of pissed off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like a family member.

[Nori Reed]

They were pissed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's understandable.

[Nori Reed]

How could I have ever anticipated that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you come back from it?

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, I came back from it. I talked about the. Because they have beautiful bridges.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right.

[Nori Reed]

Gorgeous bridges.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The funicular thing. The thing from Mr. Rogers neighborhood.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you ride that thing?

[Nori Reed]

I passed it in my car on the lift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I rode that thing. What a thrill. That was the highlight of my entire trip. Kind of goes to nowhere. Yeah. Pittsburgh is really pretty.

[Nori Reed]

I was obsessed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of picturesque as far as, like, a.

[Nori Reed]

It was like a medieval town in Italy. That's what it was giving to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It feels very heavy, you know, like the building.

[Nori Reed]

Industrial.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Substantial. I would say.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And a lot of green. I mean, anytime I get out of LA and I see trees, I'm like, wow, this is.

[Nori Reed]

I didn't. I don't know what I anticipated, but it wasn't like these gorgeous, like, hills and mountains and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Nori Reed]

It was just really, really beautiful. Don't make fun of Billy Porter if you're there, because they will come for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I mean, and rightfully so. You gotta stand up for your guy, I guess. Do you remember the first time you had Covid?

[Nori Reed]

I. I don't. I've never tested positive for Covid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Yeah, I. I feel like I. I'm one of those people who claims that they had it very early on.

[Nori Reed]

Like patient zero.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Nori Reed]

Vibes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I am that person who claims I am the first person who. I put it in a briefcase, carried it here. No, I. Like February of 2020. I have never been sicker. And fever. Where I'm lying on the shower floor, every sickness possible. And I had no idea. And I had been traveling, so I think, you know, I might as well claim it. Why not?

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was an early chic. Yeah. Very chic.

[Nori Reed]

You're like one of the first people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm strong. I'm able to power through these things.

[Nori Reed]

And I helped it mutate.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. I helped it mutate.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I probably spread it to a lot of people.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Yes. No. I can't believe I never tested positive. Because over the past couple few years, of course I've been sick, but I think it's in the flu or like. But I was pretty. I was pretty intense about COVID shots.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Yes.

[Nori Reed]

And I got a little agoraphobic for.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A minute, which helps.

[Nori Reed]

Which helps a lot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that helps.

[Nori Reed]

I mean, in some ways. In other ways, it hurts a lot too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course. Of course.

[Nori Reed]

But I didn't really. I don't think I ever tested positive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe you're just very lucky.

[Nori Reed]

I am Korean, so maybe there's a thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Korean luck.

[Nori Reed]

Korean luck. And also it's a Chinese virus.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. Interesting.

[Nori Reed]

Kind of not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're right. It's, like, not sticking.

[Nori Reed]

I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's something there that feels like science.

[Nori Reed]

There's a science there that I'm not quite understanding. Understanding yet, but. But some. If you're a scientist, will you call in and help me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

50 years from now, the research will prove whatever. You're families. Yeah.

[Nori Reed]

The Korean people, for whatever reason, didn't get Covid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

People will look back and say, nori was kind of a pioneer.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. I think the Korean barbecue is a part of this, of course, because we eat a lot of Korean barbecue. I think there's, like, the charcoal of the charcoal. There's something there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love that charcoal flavor.

[Nori Reed]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why isn't that just applied to all meat?

[Nori Reed]

Right. We should have charcoal in our home somehow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, to have a little charcoal grill.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Because we just have our stupid fucking gas stove.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So dangerous that gas leaks. Forget it.

[Nori Reed]

Seriously.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the electric. You're not getting any taste. I bet somebody's got a charcoal grill. I know. I was watching the. Remember the Queen of Versailles lady?

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She had a reality show for her.

[Nori Reed]

Another one?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, she had the documentary, which was tastefully done, and then the family sprung for a reality show which was, like, TLC level quality.

[Nori Reed]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And she was trying to get what she was calling a Benihana kitchen in the Queen of Versailles. And apparently that's something you have to have a license for as kind of like if you were a doctor. And she was never able to get that into her home. But she's got the money to have a charcoal grill.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Did she ever complete her home?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's still. Still under construction.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That thing is. I don't understand what's happening. That's someone whose brain has broken. And what is the. What's she trying to fix? There's something that she'll never fix.

[Nori Reed]

Her husband. Is he alive?

[Bridger Weiniger]

R.I.P. he's.

[Nori Reed]

He was a bad person. He, I'm sure, very Trump.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He was a very Florida Trump family. They've got so much money. They do, like, timeshares. I'm sure there's, like, some level of scam involved, but he died pretty recently. But she soldiers on.

[Nori Reed]

How do you feel about Quiet Piggy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Quiet Piggy?

[Nori Reed]

Well, you know what Trump said to the reporter?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's just recent. Yes. I've been saying, quiet Piggy, and I was wondering whether that was iconic.

[Nori Reed]

I hate that. He's so funny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He. He said to a reporter, quiet piggy.

[Nori Reed]

Quiet Piggy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This guy's the devil.

[Nori Reed]

And here's the twist. She's skinny. I saw a photo. She's skinny as hell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not in his eyes. Quiet piggy.

[Nori Reed]

Quiet piggy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where did he pull that from?

[Nori Reed]

He's like, God, he's so good. He's so good. I hate it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's horrible.

[Nori Reed]

It's the worst.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, it's truly. I mean, like, it's just a chaos machine. So whatever's coming out of his brain is just like. Well, that's something I've never heard before. Never heard a person say to another person.

[Nori Reed]

Quiet, picky.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How did she respond?

[Nori Reed]

Oh, I don't know. I've never saw her. Part of the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The fact that nobody's ever, like, lunged at him.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. You know, like, he says the craziest shit to people and they just, like, are silent.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Like, if you were to say that to someone in a bar, that would probably lead to some sort of altercation.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the fact that he's never been at least publicly punched in the face, it's crazy beyond. Somebody's gotta give it a shot.

[Nori Reed]

Someone's punched him for sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. But he probably paid for it or something. I don't know. Wow. Quiet piggy. Interesting.

[Nori Reed]

Also, all those guys have bad dicks, and it's all come out. Epstein has a lemon dick. Is that true? Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

An egg.

[Nori Reed]

One of the victims said that it's like an egg.

Trump has the. What did Stormy Daniel say?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't remember.

[Nori Reed]

Mushroom.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Nori Reed]

And then who's the third guy? There's Diddy. Has a weird dick.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, of course. So it's like, it starts to add up where it's just like. Well, they have to force sex on people.

[Nori Reed]

It's just like we.

Never mind. Never mind.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now that every listener has gagged up.

[Nori Reed]

Their breakfast, I guess. Okay, if this is inappropriate, cut this. Not to break the fourth wall.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't wait to hear what you're about to say.

[Nori Reed]

But, like, if society made it a better place for guys to have weird dicks, do you think there'd be less violence in the world?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a great question that we'll never have answered, I guess. Which is unfortunate. It's a good thought exercise, though. Or like, a great piece of speculative fiction, maybe that's your young adult novel.

[Nori Reed]

Young adults, honey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You just find different words to kind of describe these things to make it more PG13. And then you've got the next Hungry Hunger Games. Hungry Games.

[Nori Reed]

Hungry Games. That.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now that's another Guy Fieri show.

[Nori Reed]

Hungry Games. Did you see the trailer for the new Hunger Games?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's another Hunger Games?

For who?

[Nori Reed]

It's a prequel about Haymitch. Haymitch. Haymitch. Haymitch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hey, I think. Hey, Mitch.

[Nori Reed]

Hey, Mitch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hey, Mitch.

[Nori Reed]

Hey, Mitch. Hey, Mitch.

I feel like the author of the hunger games and J.K. rowling, they went to the same.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I thought you were saying that J.K. rowling was the author.

[Nori Reed]

No, no. Because the way they name their Characters is so stupid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They probably went to a workshop.

[Nori Reed]

They went to the same workshop because it's like. Yeah. Snow. Bottom. Snow. It's like bird. Sparrow, man. It's like what the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where they describe basically what the character is.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Through the name. It's like. That's the most lazy literary device I've ever heard in my life.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But look, it's working. It's working.

[Nori Reed]

Cho chang.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, J.K. rowling is just a disaster as a person.

[Nori Reed]

One of the black characters in Harry Potter is like, Shackle. Shacklebot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, boy.

[Nori Reed]

Shackles.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Shacklebot.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. It's like Martin Luther King Shacklebot. And it's like, girl, if you don't like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How does she come up with this stuff?

[Nori Reed]

That's crazy work right there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's very creative.

[Nori Reed]

Not Martin Luther King. Shacklesbot. Like, it's literally something. I swear to God, it's something like that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I.

[Nori Reed]

Will someone look it up?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There are a lot of bad. Yeah. A lot of things within the Harry Potter novels. You look back and you're like, wow, that's just. She basically just took a. A. Kingsley Shackle Bolt. Kingsley Shackle bolt.

[Nori Reed]

I was there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You were not that far.

[Nori Reed]

I was not that far off.

I was not that far off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe AI should be writing books. I don't know.

[Nori Reed]

Maybe. Do you think the bubble was going to burst?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think so. I think so. I think that it's because I. And every time I start talking about AI, I start to feel like, oh, I'm taking AI's side. And I don't. But I do think it does some things well, things that don't require any level of creativity or human touch. Basically being a calculator, because that's what it is. It's math, basically. But the elements, all the other things, like, I think that somebody is going to try to make movies and TV shows and whatever, but they're going to be bad.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And like this whole. What's her name? Nellie Torwood. What's her name? Tilly Norwood.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like part of the reason people love celebrities is because it's a human being they think they could be friends with.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. And the scandals and the scandals.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All of, like, the actual.

[Nori Reed]

She's gotta have a scandal. Tilly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Tilly's not gonna have any of those things because we know it's all fake. So I just. I mean, maybe I could be wrong, but I think it's going to burst and it's going to ruin the.

[Nori Reed]

I agree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

United States economy. And we're all going to be punished.

[Nori Reed]

I keep reading that it's gonna completely fuck up everything, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's gonna grow and grow and grow and then all that money which doesn't exist will disappear.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then people like you and me will and everyone that's not literally one of a hundred billionaires will suffer for.

[Nori Reed]

You don't know me. I'm a billionaire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You do a lot of luxury shopping.

[Nori Reed]

I'm a. I didn't disclose, but I'm a billionaire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You brought this half a Covid kit in a Gucci bag.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. I don't listen, I have a lot of Gucci bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But yeah, I do think that eventually then it'll all shrink down to, oh, well, we can use it for these things.

[Nori Reed]

But even the things AI is supposed to be good at, I think it's terrible at. Like, I had to get a work repair done for my apartment and unbeknownst to me, my property management company switched to an AI bot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, they're all doing this, right?

[Nori Reed]

It was horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course.

[Nori Reed]

I was like, what was it? I was like, tub reglazing. It needs to be re glazed. They're like, where is the leak? There is no leak. Show me where the leak is. No leak, actually. Hmm, interesting. So leak. And it's like it was obsessed with leak, right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because like, that's the one thing that's been programmed as far as glazing goes.

[Nori Reed]

And it was just like, leak, leak, leak. And I was like, there is no leak. And it was psycho.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the only thing that apartment complex.

[Nori Reed]

Will solve isn't they care about.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, just like if the lights are out or whatever other problem. Who cares if there's something. There's water damage. Yeah. They want to take care of it.

[Nori Reed]

So it's all designed, I guess on purpose to kind of frustrate you out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of doing anything to just break you and then just live and.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. And also cvs. Now you can't get a person on the phone for the pharmacy. It's all AI horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This starts to make me feel like a total senior citizen when I start complaining about not being able to get anyone on the phone.

[Nori Reed]

No, it's not because we're old. It's because it's fucking horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to be able to call a restaurant.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to say, what time do you close?

[Nori Reed]

I want to yell at open tonight. I'm a human being. I want to harass. I want to sexually harass a human person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to get a human being fired. I Don't want a computer shut down.

[Nori Reed]

I don't want to talk about a computer on a muffin. I want to talk to a human girl and say, tell me about that muffin, bitch. Tell me about how round does the top of that muffin.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I really do. Like, I really appreciate being able to call a place and just. Just have. Because sometimes I have a question.

[Nori Reed]

Yes? What are these questions?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sometimes I know it's a holiday or you guys open today. You didn't update your Yelp, which you shouldn't have to, of course. And you don't have it on your Instagram. So I need to ask somebody, do you. What's on the specials today? I probably would never ask that, but I should be able to.

[Nori Reed]

Has a Sydney Sweeney ever dined there?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. That's my number one question.

[Nori Reed]

I need to know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is she there right now?

[Nori Reed]

Right now?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm on my way. See, that's the thing that would be valuable for a phone call.

[Nori Reed]

Have you ever been to. It was close to where we got lunch. It's an Eagle Rock. It's a steakhouse place. Dunsmore.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dunsmore, yes.

[Nori Reed]

Have you been.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I went just recently, a couple of months ago.

[Nori Reed]

I had a bad. My last weekend there was really bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was bad. What happened?

[Nori Reed]

The waiter was diabolically mean. Like, and to the point where I was. So I was just like, he was horrible to us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was he doing?

[Nori Reed]

So we ordered the cornbread.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. Which was delicious.

[Nori Reed]

Delicious. Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Now, let's just say, Dunsmore, you owe both of us a meal.

[Nori Reed]

Please, if you're listening, Dunsmore, do better.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dunsmore, reach out. Okay.

[Nori Reed]

We order the cornbread. There's three of us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's very good.

[Nori Reed]

It's very good. We get everything except the cornbread. We go, mm, that's. Whatever. So we can't find. We don't see our waiter anywhere. So we, you know, someone comes over, we go, hi, so sorry, you're not our server, but. But we did order the cornbread. Can you mind just checking on it? She's like, oh, of course. Of course. She goes away, never comes back. Right? Never comes back. So our server kind of comes over. I see him. So I go. And please tell me if this is rude.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Yeah. This is a great. I love to just get an objective viewpoint on this sort of situation.

[Nori Reed]

I'm going to do it, and you tell me. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Is that rude?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. Oh. Your behavior.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, that's not. And so just. If you're just listening, Nori, just Like, politely put up her hand, like, over here, which people frequently do at restaurants, just because sometimes the server gets too busy and you think, oh, maybe I.

[Nori Reed]

Could catch up with eye contact.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Nori Reed]

Not like a finger.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come here, servant. No, just.

[Nori Reed]

Hi.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hi.

[Nori Reed]

Immediately, he rolls his eyes, and I go, oh, my God. He rolls his eyes. And I'm sensitive. I'm sensitive for sure. So he comes over before I see anything. He goes, you didn't order it. Oh. And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, well. Oh, God. I was like, I thought we did. He goes. He goes, I would have written it down. And he. And he pulls out his notepad and goes and points out. And like, I guess I should back up. He was not nice at any point of the night.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Nori Reed]

It's a very expensive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a very nice restaurant where you expect a decent experience because you're like, I'm paying a little extra. So hopefully that goes towards this being.

[Nori Reed]

Good, a part of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Nori Reed]

And so when he was taking our order, he wasn't really, like, engaged in any way.

And so one of my friends very sweetly stood up for me and was like, no, we did. We did order it. And he goes, no, you didn't. Oh, my God. So at this point, it's not even about. It's like this argument of who he's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Breaking the most basic business rule of the customer's always right.

[Nori Reed]

And so. So the third person goes, oh, okay, well, maybe say we didn't. Say we didn't. But do you mind if we could get the. We wanted the card, theoretically. And he's like, well, you didn't order it. And we're like, okay, okay, okay, you win. You win, sir.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You didn't make a mistake today.

[Nori Reed]

You didn't make a mistake. And for the rest of the night, he was so passive aggressive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God.

[Nori Reed]

Would technically do his job, but in a way that was so ungracious. And then would talk to the people around us graciously as a way to, like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To, like, kind of show that he can be nice.

[Nori Reed]

That he can be nice. And it was so weird.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He's only making more work for himself.

[Nori Reed]

It was strange, and it clearly had nothing to do with us. He must have had a bad date. It had nothing to do with us, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it kind of did. He kind of targeted you?

[Nori Reed]

Yes, he took it out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He thought, this table is a table I'm going to make a horrible evening for.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow, how fascinating.

[Nori Reed]

I think he was gay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, he must have been. We hate him. We're trying to get rid of the gays. I keep saying it.

[Nori Reed]

In this political environment, to still be that mean as a gay person is so funny. It's like the government's trying to kill you. And you still are like, no, no, no, I'm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I'm gonna be horrible. I'm gonna be a bad person.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you get the cornbread?

[Nori Reed]

We did, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it was probably after all the.

[Nori Reed]

Food, it was tainted. You want it before? The whole thing was so stressful that it was just like, this is dumb.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. The cornbread should come as an appetizer.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And be a little nice little treat before.

[Nori Reed]

And then like I went non verbal because I was like, so like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's like, well, I tried.

[Nori Reed]

It was gross. And it kind of ruined the vibe that's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm in that territory of being sensitive where it's like I start to choke up. I try to talk and now I'm like, oh, now I'm being bullied.

[Nori Reed]

And I felt bullied and I felt so unwelcome restaurant.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you still know at the end of the meal, you're gonna have to.

[Nori Reed]

Pay for so expensive. So anyways, if Dunsmore make it right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It'S time for Dunsmore to make it right.

[Nori Reed]

Make it right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's an excellent restaurant.

[Nori Reed]

It's so good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want to try the chili.

[Nori Reed]

I heard the. The beef stew chili.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, I am.

[Nori Reed]

It's so good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Chili verde. Yes. And apparently they have great tortillas.

[Nori Reed]

Apparently they have a new bean based dish.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, see? Fuck. If we don't get a meal out of this, what are we doing? Any of this.

[Nori Reed]

We gotta be able to go back to Dunsmore. Apparently. I heard some tea. This is not tea. I don't know why I framed it so salaciously. The neighbors hate them because they now they. There's nowhere to park.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Nori Reed]

So they used to be able to park anywhere and now there's no parking.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a hard place to park. Yeah, I feel like that about so many LA neighborhoods where it's just like the planning doesn't make any sense. Which is like, this is a house next to the most popular restaurant in town. What was anyone thinking at least? I mean, I think all parking should be free. I don't think there should ever be a zone. But I think in certain situations it's like, well, this should be for the people who live here.

[Nori Reed]

Yes, you should run for office.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm starting today. Yeah, I started with we should get rid of all gay People. And second, we'll have some different parking rules.

[Nori Reed]

And Covid was never real. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And Trump is good.

[Nori Reed]

Trump good. You're the new, like, gay for Trump. Those. Oh, my God. Like a George Santos.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The worst people alive.

[Nori Reed]

It kind of worked out for him, though, because he got out of prison.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It did.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. He kind of played his cards really well, actually.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And the only thing that's bad for him is that everyone thinks he's a national joke.

[Nori Reed]

But in America, you can really capitalize on that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm being a national joke. That's.

[Nori Reed]

You get on one reality show. It's good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He'll probably be hosting, like, America's Got Talent or something. Or To Catch a Predator. He could be the new host of To Catch a Predator.

[Nori Reed]

Maybe there's a show about scammers, and he's like, a judge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Don't give these people any ideas. I mean, that is probably the last place we can make money in the TV industry. Reality shows. After the show, we'll pitch some ideas.

[Nori Reed]

We'll figure it out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We'll find something. Well, I think we should play a game.

[Nori Reed]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're playing a game called Gift or a curse, But I need a number between one and ten from your.

[Nori Reed]

You. Oh, my God. Six.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces, so right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, thank you.

My show with my dear friend Hayden Johnson, it's called Transit Girls. We are in New York city at Bellhouse January 16th. You got to get tickets. The lineup is so good. It's our favorite comedians in New York is gonna be such a good show. And then Transit Girls, we're also at SF Sketchfest, so get your [e-mail]. i'm not even sure that's the website, but it sounds right. And, yeah, those are some shows coming up. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Beautiful. And this will actually come out in time. Frequently, people will be like, I've got a show tonight.

[Nori Reed]

Tonight?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, it's not how a podcast, unfortunately. Everybody go see Noria the Bellhouse.

[Nori Reed]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That'll be a fun time and a nice, warm place to be in cold winter.

[Nori Reed]

It's both literally and also emotionally.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Emotionally, yeah. And then Sketchfest. When is that?

[Nori Reed]

Oh, that's also in January. I forget the date, but it's. All the info is on sfsketchfest.com, which I'm not quite sure if that's the actual.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go support live comedy, please. If you like something, support it live.

[Nori Reed]

Because we need it. We need it. Honey, we got bags to buy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, this is how we play. Gift or a curse. I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers. You can lose the game, Nori.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Be careful. All right. These are all from our Patreon listeners today. This first one is from Noah. Gift or a curse? Tornado siren tests during sunny weather.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why?

[Nori Reed]

Oh, my God, they're so stressful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you experienced one before?

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, I'm from Kentucky.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's right.

[Nori Reed]

So they would. I'm not sure if it was tornado, but it was a storm. Some sort of storm alert. And that immediately gave me stress and anxiety because I just remember that noise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Right.

[Nori Reed]

And I'm noise sensitive, so. But I guess you could argue blessing because it's like. Like to try to see if it works and, like, if it's good for us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. You're wrong. It's a gift. It is a gift to do a tornado siren test during stormy weather. That's really screwing with people's minds. Because then it's like, well, is there a tornado? No. We want the air clear. And it's a nice. It'll get your heart moving in the morning. You think there's a tornado? I will. Actually. I've never experienced tornado weather, so maybe it could still be during sunny weather. I don't know.

[Nori Reed]

But they should just. That's private. They need to do that. Private. Why involve all of us? Do it private. Go underground.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But don't people. Doesn't everybody have to participate in the test?

[Nori Reed]

No, they're testing to make sure, just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To see if it's working. Oh, yeah, I guess it's not like everybody. I'm picturing school drills. Like a fire drill, where you would have to.

[Nori Reed]

No, because based on my experience growing up, it was more just like a siren that's on a tower. So it's like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And that noise is terrifying. It's horrible.

[Nori Reed]

It's horrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They need to think of a more pleasant noise for that. Yeah. Some jingle bells also.

[Nori Reed]

It's gonna work. What are you testing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, do not put Nori in charge of tornado.

[Nori Reed]

It doesn't work. Now, just randomly, does it work? Yeah, it works. Bitch. Come on, grow up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you got it wrong. You got it wrong, Nori.

[Nori Reed]

Grow up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right, the second one is from Tatiana. Gift her a curse. Pick your own fruit or vegetable outing.

[Nori Reed]

What the fuck is that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, like you go to an apple orchard, you go to a strawberry field. This kind of thing. Pumpkins.

[Nori Reed]

Come on. That's fun. That's fun as hell. Yes. There's like, you're paying what, $6,000 for four apples? Like, yeah, that's weird, right? But, like, there's the gift store. There's apple cider, donut nuts. There's all these really fun things. You're with your friends, you're dressing up warm, and sweaters. It's a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct? Correct. I think this is a gift. I think these things get a lot of flack. It's the same type of thing of like, oh, I don't want to go camping. I don't like to sleep on the ground. It's like, no, that's the experience. It's a fun time. It's memory. I want to. I don't normally pick apples. Yeah, let people pick an apple. Let people go. Go pick a pumpkin or whatever.

[Nori Reed]

It's the last thing me and my ex did before we broke up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What? What were you picking?

[Nori Reed]

Apples. Oh, in Boston.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Were you fighting the whole time?

[Nori Reed]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, so it was a pleasant memory.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, what a shame. Were the apples good?

[Nori Reed]

I can't remember.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never had the experience of doing any of these. How long are you gone for?

[Nori Reed]

What do you mean?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You, like, go out to the orchard and they just. Good afternoon and is it like a time limit? They fire a gun and you get picking.

[Nori Reed]

You get tired.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, interesting.

[Nori Reed]

Well, you pay for the by weight.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, that makes more sense. Imagine how stressful it would be if it was a timer.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Because you would have bad faith actors who are going to, like, take your whole fucking orchestra.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bring like a tractor.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. It's like, all right, let's get in there, Take all the apples.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I should try it at some point. That seems like a nice activity.

[Nori Reed]

Even when I said bad faith actors and relationship to what we just talked about, that's such a crazy thing to say for apple picking, bad faith actors.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're spoiling the industry.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was thinking about January 6th this morning, weirdly. And just like, I can't believe that that happened. That happened, and everybody has just cited it. Kind of wasn't that big of a deal. It's like it was.

[Nori Reed]

It's like a coup.

[Bridger Weiniger]

One of the craziest things that's ever happened in our lifetime.

[Nori Reed]

It's like America, like, one thing you can count on about America is we will never admit commit to a coup. Like, like, we will not like we. It's Like. Like other countries. Yeah. Our country. Never. No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not in this house.

[Nori Reed]

No. Honey, that's a coup. That was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We have class. We don't.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It was fully, fully coup. It was like people breaking into.

[Nori Reed]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, wow. The things we've seen. Oh, God. I'm sorry for stressing everyone out. That feels like a tornado siren test. All right, you've gotten one right so far. This is the final one. This is from Darcy. Gift or a curse? Watching a Christmas episode of a show, nowhere near Christmas.

[Nori Reed]

I'm gonna go gift. Because.

It can make you excited for what's to come. It's like, okay, it might not be Christmas right now, but it's coming and it's gonna be really nice. And there'll be gifts and Christmas tree and that's nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Correct.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think this is a gift. I. Absolutely. I see no problem with this. And I also feel like it fixes a problem. Let's say your favorite fictional character is Santa Claus.

[Nori Reed]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you wanna see him in a TV show. You're not going to wait all year to see him?

[Nori Reed]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Fire it up in August. Watch Santa do his thing.

[Nori Reed]

Why not?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What color do you think Santa's hair was before he went white?

Have we. Has anybody ever gotten to the bottom.

[Nori Reed]

Of that.

Based on how white it is?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Nori Reed]

It's gonna be blonde.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You think he was like, a platinum blonde?

[Nori Reed]

Yeah, because if it was. If it was black, it'd be kind of salt and pepper grayish.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Nori Reed]

So it is gonna be platinum blonde.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. That makes sense to me. Gorgeous.

[Nori Reed]

Like Twinkle.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Baywatch blonde.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Well, based on the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The cartoons. The stop motion cartoons from the 60s and 70s, it's actually red. Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Nori Reed]

That's crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's not right.

[Nori Reed]

That's really crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Speaking of another group of people that I don't like.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no, no.

[Nori Reed]

No offense. I'm sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Make as much offense as you want.

[Nori Reed]

That's disgusting. That is utterly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Red hair have a genetic problem.

[Nori Reed]

You're telling me Santa has a fire crotch? No, honey, he doesn't have a fire crotch. That's crazy. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was blonde. Shimmering blonde.

[Nori Reed]

My ex was a redhead.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Nori Reed]

I love redheads.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This has been a problematic episode for you.

[Nori Reed]

I love redheads so much. They're so hot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's very sweet. I appreciate the support because, you know, public school education is not an easy place for a redhead. You know, going through growing up as a redheaded person is not fun.

[Nori Reed]

I thought I read. Okay. I Read a headline. I did not read the article that.

Redheads are genetically black.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, something This I tried to figure out. And I was like, okay, now we've crossed some sort of line here. Of course, it started on TikTok, and I don't know enough about it to really speak factually, But I feel like basically a redheaded person said something about it being genetic. I don't know that there's actual science there, but then I'll look it up. Suddenly there are all these redheaded people saying, I know what it feels like to be black. And it's like, no, you don't.

[Nori Reed]

That's different. That's crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can say, you know how it feels to be bullied and have people treat you unfairly as a white. White person with red hair, but you just simply don't get to claim. Whatever.

[Nori Reed]

That's crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it was very. It took off on Tick tock in a positive way. I think it kind of did have probably a net positive. Ish result where people were just like, let's be nice to each other.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it was a little like, I. I saw a few Tick tocks where it's like, this feels real stupid.

[Nori Reed]

I'll look it up. I'm gonna look it up. I. I want to know the science of what's happening.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. I. Yeah.

[Nori Reed]

I.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Unless we're like. Like, yeah, I don't know what the science is, but if you see something scientific on TikTok, it is true. And just believe everything you see.

[Nori Reed]

Okay. That's what I thought.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Nori Reed]

That's what I thought, though. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I should have just said that from the beginning. Okay, so you got two out of three. Not too bad.

[Nori Reed]

I won.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You won. You won a D plus or a D?

[Nori Reed]

Well, there's three. Okay. If there were, like, six, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You would have got.

[Nori Reed]

If you did the work, maybe I'd have a higher score.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And now I'm lazy.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. If there's three chances.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, Anneliese has one for us. Anneliese. And now we both have to speak to this. And then Anneliese will give us their answer, which will probably be wrong, but we'll see what they say. Okay. All right. Cool it. All right. Gift or a curse? Shared calendars. Shared calendars. Do you want to speak to it? Ooh.

[Nori Reed]

Who are you sharing? Who's, like, a couple or roommates or.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, that's the only information you get is shared calendars.

[Nori Reed]

I'm gonna go with curse. I think that's private. I think it's private. And I think that other people should not be seeing what you're up to. Also, it's a curse because it gets really confusing because, like, I have a calendar with my manager, and his assistant.

Sometimes will add stuff, but sometimes doesn't. So then it gets really confusing, and then you can't really bank on it being there, so then you just do it. But then sometimes there's then a double event.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Nori Reed]

I'm gonna go with curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think curse as well. The thing for me, I share a calendar with my boyfriend. He finally forced me to do it. And first of all, it was an enormous hassle. Took my phone, everything. Syncing it all up was such a pain for me. And then finally, when it happened, anytime he puts one in, I just. I don't even see it, you know? I only see the color that I put in. And so these other things that I'm supposed to suddenly remember or be aware of are just. They might as well be bank holidays, you know? Or you see it on the phone. You're like, well, that means nothing. So I think it's a curse. It doesn't really change anything other than the fact that now I am supposed to know more, and I still don't. Yeah, Annalise. Of course it's a curse. Oh, thank God it's my business. What are you. What are you doing? Trying to know what I'm doing. And also, like, I put stuff in there, like, the days I menstruate. Like, people shouldn't be saying that. Right?

[Nori Reed]

Nobody.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Especially not Google. Yeah, I think that that's. Yeah, we should. Calendars should be. Our nice little private places, and shared calendars are a disaster.

[Nori Reed]

I agree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, we all came together on that one, and that feels good. We've got a few Patreon questions from Patreon listeners. Will you help me answer some?

[Nori Reed]

Absolutely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right. This first one, I think, is good for both of us. This is from Carla. It says, who is your favorite Real Housewife of Salt Lake City? I used to be very annoyed with Mary, but this season, she is really becoming the voice of reason.

[Nori Reed]

Well, before I answer, can I tell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A little recent story I love to hear?

[Nori Reed]

So this Halloween, I went to New York. I went to Julio Torres.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sure.

[Nori Reed]

Very fun. I had a great time. Like, it was truly, like, the best energy ever. Bronwyn was there. Ooh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was she dressed as?

[Nori Reed]

She. It was a very complicated. It was very clear to me that she just wanted to wear Moschino.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. So, like, she always finds a way.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. It wasn't really put together. I think it was like.

Like it was a couture dress that was very costumey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

Which. It's like, no surprise there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, that's her entire life.

[Nori Reed]

It wasn't a clear concept. It was confusing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, no.

[Nori Reed]

No one knew, but. But, you know, when she was walking around, me and my friends did go, hi. Like, you know, we're. We're huge fans. We love you so much. I mean, of course, it wasn't a mere, like seven hours prior that we were talking crazy shit about her after the episode. So it's like we were fans.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's part of the experience.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. And we do love her. We do love her. Come on. And so we were like, we love you. We're such big fans. She was like, thank you so much. And I don't know, I was kind of in a flow state, so I was just kind of talking and I said, why are you here? Which is like, such a crazy thing to say. I was like, why are you here? Because it's like, what a fun thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

To hear at a party.

[Nori Reed]

I know. Cause I'm like, you're a Bronwyn. You don't have to, like, you know, we're in the middle of Bushwick in a warehouse. Like, it was just crazy that she was there and what she said was, oh, you know, I have to, like, show my face. I gotta get ahead of next week's episode, which I thought was so interesting. And the next episode, nothing really happened. But then what I am theorizing, what I think she meant is the episode after that is when it came out about Todd potentially cheating on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, looking at pictures of another gal on the airplane.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. And so I think that's. That is what she was referencing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But she's. She didn't do anything wrong.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. Yeah. I think she meant, like, being out and about and like, I'm not quite sure what she.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Drama free.

[Nori Reed]

Maybe I'm not quite. I'm not 100% sure what she was. What she was saying or wearing, but she was like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She had been like. Like blindfolded and taken to this warehouse and was just trying to figure out in the moment what she was doing there.

[Nori Reed]

Yes, yes. But she was so warm and so friendly. And I will say that that is. Is huge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I get that from her. I think, like, as far as.

[Nori Reed]

And she supports trans people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, great.

[Nori Reed]

That's huge.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As far as the women on this show go, like, as far as, like, if I had to spend time with them, like, as a human being, I would probably Say Bronwyn and Heather.

[Nori Reed]

Okay. You're sleeping on Angie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, true Angie.

[Nori Reed]

I'd love to hang out with Angie. She's so cool.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's true. Angie and I just found out Angie husband and her gay husband. Angie's dad owns a chain of hamburger restaurants in Utah. That's very Greek. Slash hamburger restaurants that I love. Crown burgers. Angie, take me on a date.

[Nori Reed]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So she. It's kind of a dynasty. She's got the. What's it called?

[Nori Reed]

It's like heroin. It's like something like that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. It's a very. Oh, I can't believe I'm forgetting this. I grew up.

[Nori Reed]

It's like delusional bangs. Something like that. Something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's called lunatic fringe.

[Nori Reed]

I said delusional bangs, and that is literally lunatic fringe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. If you, like, made a fictional take on her life, that's what the character would start up.

[Nori Reed]

And I did say that that black character was Martin Luther King Shacklebotts, which is what's kind of close.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you're working on a new YA novel.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. So my brain is kind of halfway there on these things. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Writing this thing in your head right.

[Nori Reed]

Now, I like, feel like. Did you watch Wife Swap?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. She goes to Idaho.

[Nori Reed]

But she's so warm and so beautiful to that family.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

That you're like, oh, wait, this is a. A genuinely good person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. I. Okay, I'll put Angie on that list. Yeah, yeah, that's. There's a. And then Heather.

[Nori Reed]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Heather.

[Nori Reed]

I disagree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Really?

[Nori Reed]

I don't think. I think that she is obsessed with fame. Sure. And I think that it's maybe a little fake. Her niceness.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting. I think she is somebody who likes to have a good time. And I know. I know people who have interacted with her and said, oh, she was very fun. So. Yeah, I do. I think. I mean, let's be honest. Every one of these women wants to be famous. Why else would you basically ruin your life on this show?

[Nori Reed]

I'm obsessed with Mary Cosby, as is everyone in America. I would be terrified to hang out with her because of the things that she would say to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, she's.

[Nori Reed]

She would cruise. She would say the craziest shit to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She does not. She's not afraid of saying anything to anyone. And that's why she's so fun to watch on the show, is because I've never seen somebody on a reality show just basically say, no, I'm not doing that.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. And I love it. It's beautiful to watch.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, it's incredible because obviously the show has gotten used to it, but I'm sure initially producers were like, this lady's a nightmare. She won't do anything we ask her to do. But now she's like, I'm going to eat a filet o fish in a van.

[Nori Reed]

That was iconic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cannot do anything about it.

[Nori Reed]

And the other ladies are obviously so jealous that they don't have the fortitude to do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. They've created these other characters that they now have to keep up.

[Nori Reed]

They have to keep it up. And so it's like. Like they wouldn't eat filet fish on a bus.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Yeah. Lisa. I don't know that I would have a.

[Nori Reed]

It would not be fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She and I could get a diet soda together and that would be the end of the road. Doesn't seem entirely pleasant to be around.

[Nori Reed]

Meredith. Could be. Could be fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, just depending on what she's on.

[Nori Reed]

Yes, you're right. Up or downer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Because she's. Sometimes it's like, is she there?

[Nori Reed]

That's true.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But, yeah, it's a good group of gals.

[Nori Reed]

What was the question? I forget.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who's your favorite favorite?

[Nori Reed]

Angie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Angie's your favorite.

[Nori Reed]

She's down to earth. She. She reminds me of this woman I worked with. Like, I used to work at a hospital.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

And there is this woman who was much older than me, and, like, in no universe should we be friends. Like, she. Like, we're diff. We're so different. But we just got along so well because she was just so nice and warm and didn't give a fuck about, like, who. Who you were or identity or anything. Just was like. Just kind of saw everyone as, like. As, like she. I feel like Angie just sees everyone. She's not. She's never looking over you. She's never. She's just kind of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love the full psychological profile. We can never have you meet her.

[Nori Reed]

She's so. She's such a. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It could be a disaster.

[Nori Reed]

I think so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Funny shatter thing things for you.

[Nori Reed]

The first thing she says is tranny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like she tackles you.

[Nori Reed]

She tackles me. She sets me on fire. She looks over my head. She's like. She's like. I'm sorry, is Sydney Sweeney here? Like, who are you? One time, okay, I guest hosted a Radio Andy show, and one time, Jessel Tank. What's her name? From New York.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I'm the wrong person to ask.

[Nori Reed]

Her name's Jessica. She's on the. The Roni Reef reboot.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Nori Reed]

She was on schedule to call in. And I was, like, kind of depressed that week. So I looked like. Like, I looked so bad. And we had not. You know, when she zoomed in, that was the first time she's seeing me meeting. The way that woman looked at me, like, who the. Like, she was just, like, startled.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Nori Reed]

She was like. She was like, confused startled. Like, who is the. And rightfully so. She's like, who is this person?

[Bridger Weiniger]

She wasn't expecting you at all.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Because, like, in that, if there's the manosphere, the bravo sphere, whatever you call bravo verse, is probably what people say. Like, the people who are interviewing her, they're going to be like skinny CIS women who've spent three hours getting ready. You know what I'm saying?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or a man who just opened expensive grocery store.

[Nori Reed]

Yes. Or a gay demon. Gay. And so when I pop up and I'm like, I look like I haven't showered in four days. I look insane. My hair is greasy. She's literally like, why the fuck. I could just tell that she was like, why am I here?

[Bridger Weiniger]

How did it go?

[Nori Reed]

Terribly. We talked. I tried so hard to, like. Like, we talk about her husband, because her husband's like a foodie and, like, kind of. So I was, like, trying so hard, but I could tell that she was kind of just like, why am I here? Get me out of here. Who is this person?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Wow.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. So.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you're saying, Angie, Angie. I would probably say to watch for me, Mary.

And then I already said the people I would want to actually spend time with. I would like to go to Mary's church at some point.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. I feel so complicated because it's so clearly a scan. It's so clearly, like, fucked up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. There's been reports about it.

[Nori Reed]

Yeah. You know, she's literally coming in there wearing, like, head to toe, like, you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Know, Gucci, Such expensive clothing.

[Nori Reed]

Her congregation, they don't look very wealthy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Nori Reed]

And they're tithing, like, what, 50% of their income. You're kind of just like, oh, she.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Has a gold microphone.

[Nori Reed]

She has a gold microphone. And you can see that there's some. Also, she was like, this is my first time back. So what was her congregation doing for three years?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. I tried to go there the last time I was in Utah, and it was during the renovation, so it was just all closed up. They were scattered.

[Nori Reed]

But she was like, she was not pasture pasteurizing for three years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She was supposed to be the shepherd of the flock.

[Nori Reed]

So who was the Guest. Who was the guest host?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I guess these people just stayed home on Sunday days waiting for this place to get what is arguably not a great renovation.

[Nori Reed]

That's crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They didn't even get ac.

People are fanning themselves, they're sweating.

[Nori Reed]

That's crazy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I. I feel like we just answered that enough that we don't need to even answer another question today. And actually we kind of accidentally answered acasia's question. What's the best frozen meal you've ever had? Oh, I mean, I love a.

[Nori Reed]

The butter chicken.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. And I love the tikka masala. So, yeah, we've answered some nice questions.

[Nori Reed]

What I'm doing right now, though, I will just give. I'd love to offer this is. I make a big thing of chicken stock from anytime I like, peel a vegetable, chicken bone, whatever, I put it in the freezer bag, okay. And put it in the freezer. So it's like onion peels, kale, ginger knobs, chicken bones, like, whatever. Then I'd make a stock out of it, right? And then you freeze that. And then you just got a bunch of fucking stock that you just put in the fridge. And then your soups, right? Beans.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you've created a trash island in the ocean.

[Nori Reed]

And it's a full. It's like a full circle because you're like. Then the scraps. It's like it's all self contained. What are you talking about? A garbage thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All these plastic bags you're putting garbage in and putting in the freezer.

[Nori Reed]

What are you talking about?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where are these plastic bags going, huh?

[Nori Reed]

I don't want to think about that. All I know is that I have delicious chicken stock to use for my beans and my stews. Sir, I don't know what's happening with the plastic bag. That's not my business.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't have to think about it.

[Nori Reed]

That's not my business. Okay, then put the scraps, Put them in a glass Tupperware.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Get a reusable.

[Nori Reed]

A reusable?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get a reusable. Who am I to speak?

[Nori Reed]

Who cares? The world. We're all doomed. It doesn't matter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've landed as a Covid denying plastic bag user.

[Nori Reed]

Love Trump. Come on. Who cares?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Who cares?

[Nori Reed]

Who cares?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, Noria, this is going to be very convenient for me in the future. You're going to come begging for this thing.

[Nori Reed]

There's one full test. And do they expire? I don't think they expire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it takes a while for them to expire.

[Nori Reed]

So just use that. Treat myself treat yourself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm very excited about this. I've had such a nice time with you.

[Nori Reed]

This was so fun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Thank you for being here.

[Nori Reed]

I loved it. Thank you listener.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The podcast is over, the tape will soon end and I'd love for you to have a at least a fine day. So go out and do something moderately, I don't know, moderately enjoyable. Who cares? I love you.

[Nori Reed]

Goodbye.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Anneliese Nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I saidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gift?

[Nori Reed]

I thought I made myself perfectly clear.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When you're a guest in my home.

[Nori Reed]

You gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Your presence is presents enough. And I already had too much stuff.

[Nori Reed]

So how do you dance a sub baby.

With Venmo Stash? A taco in one hand and ordering.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A ride in the other means you're stacking cash back.

[Nori Reed]

Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment and more, pick a bundle with your go tos and start earning cash back at those brands. Earn more cash when you do more with Stash. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Max $100 cash back per month.

[Nori Reed]

See terms at Venmo Me Stashterms.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get festive with Fossil this holiday season. As a proud sponsor of Jingle Ball, Fossil has unforgettable gifts for everyone on your list. Surprise them with a limited edition watch designed in collaboration with Nick Jonas. Inspired by Nick's distinct personal style, every timepiece in this collection is a standout. Expertly crafted with statement shaped cases, genuine stone dials and etched with limited edition numbering. You can also shop the Nick list for his favorite Fossil gifts handpicked by Nick himself. Explore Statement Jewelry for everyone, Coveted handbags, giftable watch and of course, timeless watches. From elegant Raquel for her to rugged machine for him and meticulously made automatics. There's nothing like a Fossil watch and there's a style for everybody. Add a personal touch, customize their gift with free engraving and embossing, and don't forget to put yourself at the top.

[Nori Reed]

Of the gift list.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get decked out with party ready styles sure to wow the holiday scene. Shop it all [e-mail].

[Nori Reed]

Amazon Five Star Theater presents real customer reviews performed by Ed Helms. Tonight's review Tactical Jacket I was living a simple life. Didn't get out much. Then I bought this jacket and everything changed. Women came flocking to me from lands domestic and foreign. On the 245 day sailboat voyage home, I was attacked by a shark.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I knew it was the jacket he.

[Nori Reed]

Was after giving up the jacket in exchange for my life. 5 stars Amazon Customer 69 Shop the perfect Gift this holiday on Amazon.