Paige Weldon Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: I Said No Gifts! Episode Featuring Paige Weldon

Podcast Information:

• Title: I Said No Gifts! A Comedy Interview Podcast with Bridger Winegar
• Host: Bridger Winegar (Exactly Right Media)
• Episode: Paige Weldon Disobeys Bridger
• Release Date: December 5, 2024

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Introduction

In this episode of I Said No Gifts!, Bridger Winegar welcomes comedian Paige Weldon to his backyard for a lively and humorous conversation. True to the show's premise, Bridger requests that guests attend without bringing any gifts. However, as always, guests inadvertently defy this rule, leading to entertaining discussions about the unexpected presents.

Public Urination and Bathroom Access

The episode kicks off with Bridger sharing a recent incident where he struggled to find a restroom in Redlands, California. His humorous rant about public urination sets a comedic tone for the conversation.

• Bridger (00:55): “Every business can't just have a bathroom. That should be a law. That's what I'm fighting for.”

Paige empathizes with Bridger's predicament, highlighting the cultural norms of the Inland Empire and assuring him that his actions were understandable.

• Paige (03:41): “Peeing behind a dumpster is fully in the culture of the Inland Empire. That is so Bridger’s of you.”

Navigating Temecula and Reno

The duo delves into discussions about Temecula, California, and Reno, Nevada, sharing personal anecdotes and favorite spots.

• Bridger (07:17): “It's kind of like a suburb, and then up the hill is the wineries and all the nice stuff. So a lot of people get married there, right?”
• Paige (08:13): “Absolutely. My parents have lived out there for a few years now, and they love it.”

Casino Experiences and Culinary Adventures

Bridger and Paige reminisce about their visits to casinos, particularly the Pepper Mill Casino, and exchange banter about extravagant egg omelets.

• Bridger (09:50): “Apparently they're famous for using 10 eggs to make an omelette, which feels like maybe too many eggs.”
• Paige (10:14): “Three to four, because you can't do two. That's not enough to contain the contents of the omelette.”

Feline Friends and Raccoon Troubles

A lighthearted segment ensues as Bridger introduces his backyard cats, leading to playful discussions about raccoons and possums.

• Bridger (14:41): “They’re the most powerful part of the community.”
• Paige (14:35): “They’re so cute, but dangerous.”

Social Media Algorithms and Shopping Disasters

The conversation shifts to the frustrations with social media algorithms, particularly on TikTok and Instagram, and the pitfalls of online shopping.

• Bridger (17:33): “And get up to 40% off select styles plus a free professional measure.”
• Paige (20:26): “I regretted it. I wanted a portable battery for my phone... it was only magnetic to the back of your phone.”

Gift Presentation and Stand-Up Album Reveal

Paige arrives with gifts for Bridger, including her newly released stand-up album. This moment underscores the episode's central theme of gifts being both a blessing and a comedic curse.

• Paige (30:06): “If you pay me for it, it won't be a gift.”
• Bridger (30:37): “How committed are you to not receiving a gift? Little did you know, I have zero integrity.”

ASMR and Cameo Collaborations

Bridger shares his quest for the perfect ASMR video, leading to a creative collaboration with Natasha, an ASMR artist Paige arranged through Cameo.

• Bridger (35:03): “Here's your map for you. Does everything look nice?”
• Paige (36:18): “If you could skip to, like, 3ish minutes in... she does have a printed out map.”

Interactive Game: Gift or a Curse

Bridger and Paige engage in the podcast's signature game segment, where they determine whether certain scenarios are gifts or curses based on humorous rationale.

1. Being the only man invited to a baby shower

   • Paige's Choice: Curse
   • Bridger's Choice: Gift
   • Outcome: Paige loses the round.

2. People waving you through a four-way stop even though they clearly got there first

   • Paige's Choice: Curse
   • Bridger's Choice: Gift
   • Outcome: Bridger wins.

3. Someone reciting a poem to you from memory

   • Paige's Choice: Gift
   • Bridger's Choice: Gift
   • Outcome: Both agree it's a gift.

Listener Interaction: Handling Excessive Holiday Gifts

The episode concludes with Bridger and Paige addressing a listener's email about managing excessive holiday gifts within a family setting. They offer humorous yet practical advice on de-escalating gift-giving chaos.

• Bridger (76:07): “Your family's annual gathering has simply gotten out of control... What does this mean? We're always giving everybody a lot of expensive items.”

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bridger (05:05): “You don’t let me use your bathroom, I will consider yelping your business...”
• Paige (10:14): “Three to four, because you can't do two. That's not enough to contain the contents of the omelette.”
• Bridger (14:41): “They’re the most powerful part of the community.”
• Paige (30:06): “If you pay me for it, it won't be a gift.”
• Bridger (35:03): “Here's your map for you. Does everything look nice?”
• Bridger (72:16): “All of the ladies are saying, do we invite the gay one?”
• Paige (65:14): “It's so simple.”

Conclusion and Insights

This episode of I Said No Gifts! masterfully blends humor with relatable everyday scenarios, all while adhering to the show's unique gift-free premise. Bridger and Paige's chemistry shines as they navigate topics ranging from social etiquette and family dynamics to the quirks of online shopping and creative projects. The interactive segments and listener engagement add depth, making the episode both entertaining and insightful for newcomers and regular listeners alike.

Final Thoughts: I Said No Gifts! continues to deliver its trademark blend of humor and candid conversation, making it a must-listen for fans of comedic interviews and lighthearted banter. Bridger Winegar's dynamic hosting, combined with Paige Weldon's wit, ensures an engaging experience that leaves listeners eagerly anticipating future episodes.

Transcript

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is exactly right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey there, Ryan Reynolds here. It's a new year and you know what that means. No, not the diet resolutions. A way for us all to try and do a little bit better than we did last year. And my resolution, unlike big wireless, is to not be a raging and raise the price of wireless on you every chance I get. Give it a [e-mail] Switch $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited. See mintmobile.com for details. ABC Wednesday. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a.

[Paige Weldon]

Place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird.

[Paige Weldon]

I was 18.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each.

[Paige Weldon]

Other like rational adults?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore. Series premieres Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Paige Weldon]

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty handed. I said no guest. Your presence. Presence enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We are in the backyard and the temperature is perfect over the weekend. This is something I just want to address immediately. I had to stop in Redlands, California on my way to another destination and I needed to pee. I went into 7 11, was denied access to the bathroom but was told to go next door, went next door and was denied access again. And so. Well, if you're at least if you're a 711 or a nail salon in Redlands, California and you think I'm not going to go behind the building and pee, you have the wrong Bridger Weinecker. I'm making a prediction right now that there's a feeling in the air. 2025 is going to be huge for public urination because it's insane to me that every business can't just have a bathroom. That should be a law. That's what I'm fighting for. If you don't let me use your bathroom, I will consider yelping your business and then realizing it's a 711 and knowing that will do nothing to you. But then I'll talk about it on a podcast. So let's just. That's what happened over the weekend. I peed behind a dumpster and it felt incredible. I felt like I was getting away with something. It felt like I was taking revenge. Everything. And I was relieving my bladder. So what a combination of feelings. Let's get into the podcast. I love today's guest. I adore her. It's Paige Weldon. Paige, welcome to I said no gifts.

[Paige Weldon]

Bridger, I just want to tell you, have you ever been to Redlands or you've only stopped?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I've only stopped and I will always just keep going.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, I'm not from Redlands, but I'm from the Inland Empire. And I have to say that I think peeing behind a dumpster is fully in the culture of the Inland Empire. That is so ie of you. I think that's completely right, what you did. 100%. No one would blame you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was just camouflaging myself with the local culture then.

[Paige Weldon]

Yes, absolutely. People went, there's another a Redland zeit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm good at just kind of blending into my surroundings, just naturally. And this worked. I am telling you, though, I've had several conversations recently, not prompted by me, of other adults talking about needing to pee in public or peeing in public. It's gonna be big next year.

[Paige Weldon]

I think that's fine. I have no personal issue with that. I'm sure whomever may have to hose down the area might have an issue, but I'm not upset with you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I think if you can find a nice out of the way spot.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

If it's behind a dumpster.

[Paige Weldon]

Behind a dumpster. Sort of expected worst things have happened behind a dumpster. Absolutely. Worse things have happened behind that dumpster. Yeah, I think you're good. Yeah, I think you're set.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I just. I do find it wild that businesses can tell you you can't use the restroom. Yeah, that feels illegal.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, it does feel illegal. Maybe it is. Maybe it's like one of those open secrets. Like how actually they can't say that they're cash only. Like they have to accept card, but everyone just says it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Any that feels like in the same category of things.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I wonder if I could just start saying that's against the law. Just make up my own thing to throw back at them.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. If that worked 50% of the time, great. Still better than your current hit rate.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Paige Weldon]

Might as well try it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. And also coming from the employees side, I feel like I would be like, yeah, I don't want you. The alternative could be you doing something to the store.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I'm not at that place yet, but there's a chance I could have just turned around and been like, well, I'm using the store.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. I don't know. They may have just assumed that you seem nice. They took advantage of you, but you seem nice. So you seem like you wouldn't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm trying to put out a different vibe. Yeah.

[Paige Weldon]

To be worse. You're just generally.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I want people to think I'm bad.

[Paige Weldon]

Okay. All right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And not in a good way.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm going to tell people I'm spreading.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The rumor that I'm bad.

[Paige Weldon]

And when people ask about, like, why, I'll just be like, I don't know, just a general sort of bad. I have no follow up. And then I. And then I like, completely panic and I start talking about how actually you're so great and like, I'm sorry, I was just joking. And it's like an inside thing between me and Bridger. Don't. He's not bad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But that'll get more ears on the podcast because you'll be like, well, just listen to the podcast.

[Paige Weldon]

Listen to the podcast and then you'll know and then you'll be in on the joke. And that's all anyone wants, is to be in on inside jokes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Of course. Of course.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. But Redlands otherwise was perfectly fine. I got in and got out and we'll just have to find another way to the desert after today.

[Paige Weldon]

I don't know that there is another way.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's no other way.

[Paige Weldon]

What is that, the 15 or the 10 or.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think it was the 10.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, the 10.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it felt like they were like. It felt like Google Maps was like, oh, there's traffic, let's go through this town. To me, because I had never been through.

[Paige Weldon]

So interesting. Interesting. I can't say.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Where in the Inland Empire are you from?

[Paige Weldon]

I grew up in Temecula, California. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, Temecula. I almost went to a wedding there this summer.

[Paige Weldon]

That's what I always hear from people when I say Temecula, because there's. It's kind of just like a suburb, and then up the hill is the wineries and all the nice stuff. So a lot of people get married there, right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Jim got food poisoning, so we couldn't go. But it was August and Temecula seems like a warm place to be in August.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So, yeah, maybe it was ultimately a blessing.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, I don't know that. I don't know where the wedding was going to be specifically, but I would never go. Damn. You didn't go to Temecula? That sucks.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you get back to Temecula?

[Paige Weldon]

No, my family doesn't live there anymore, so I'm never there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you have family in Reno?

[Paige Weldon]

I do, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Paige Weldon]

Look at me remembering family. Yeah, I remember stuff about me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So do you get to Reno?

[Paige Weldon]

I do, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What's your take on Reno? I haven't been there in a long time, but I feel like it's gotta be a night. I feel like it's underrated.

[Paige Weldon]

Absolutely. That would be my stance on it. Because my parents have lived out there for a few years now, and I just feel like they love it. Every time I go. My mom is always looking up new places to go. And my parents are fun, so whenever I go visit them, they have fun stuff to take me to go do. And it's just like a lot of the area around it is very beautiful.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. It's right next. I mean, it's so close to, like, Lake Tahoe.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. And then lots of other little lakes and pretty areas.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So where are your parents taking you in Reno?

[Paige Weldon]

We've gone to the lake. If it's the summer. Lots of little restaurants and. I don't know. You'd have to ask my mom to pull up all her fave spots. I just get in the car, I get in the Subaru and I say, take me where we're going.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's a good thing to say in a Subaru. I trust whoever's driving the Subaru to take me to a good destination.

[Paige Weldon]

It might be the Subaru commercial that I just recited. I'm not sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You're just remembering a Subaru commercial. You have no family in Reno.

[Paige Weldon]

Doesn't that sound like a Subaru commercial? Take me where we're going.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's a good slogan for them. They should consider it. Yeah.

[Paige Weldon]

Write to me. Subaru.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Subaru. Reach out. Do you ever go to the casinos we've gone to?

[Paige Weldon]

There are restaurants inside the casinos. There's like a diner in one of the casinos that we've gone to on, like, Christmas morning.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What casino is this again? I'm not sure because I was just talking to somebody about the Pepper Mill Casino.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, yeah, that's one of them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He had eaten a 10 egg omelet and I'm not sure how that fits into a human body.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, I guess your protein for the.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Day, I mean, for probably Three weeks for a couple days, Right?

[Paige Weldon]

I'm not sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But apparently they're famous for using 10 eggs to make an omelette, which feels like maybe too many eggs.

[Paige Weldon]

Bit of a waste of eggs.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. In my opinion, omelette should be three to four.

[Paige Weldon]

Three to four, because you can't do two. That's not enough to contain the contents of the omelette. All your fixes, you need at least three.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And three. Even is probably too small.

[Paige Weldon]

Four is safer. I would say if you don't want to have a mess on your hands, you don't want to be criticized.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Burnt peppers.

[Paige Weldon]

Whomever you're making an omelette for, maybe it's for yourself. But even still, that's sad to have to look at your messy omelette you've created.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I've never successfully made an omelette. It always ends up a scramble.

[Paige Weldon]

Either it ends up a scramble or it's like too overcooked on the outside.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, God. Leathery.

[Paige Weldon]

It's really hard.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because then I mean the opposite. You end up with a wet omelet. Yeah. And to successfully get the texture of an omelette seems nearly impossible.

[Paige Weldon]

We never want to be thinking too much about when we're eating eggs. That they're eggs is, I think, the balance we want to strike. So they need to be soft, but we don't need to have, you know, you see the sort of like clear parts.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, the clear part. I'm out. That'll occasionally happen if you get them too over easy or whatever.

[Paige Weldon]

That's why I always say over medium.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I do over medium as well.

[Paige Weldon]

Mm. Mm. I can't think about this. No, no.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But over hard. When somebody gets an over hard egg, that's a psychopath. That's the worst of every world.

[Paige Weldon]

That person's being a baby about yolk is my opinion.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because they're kind of getting an almost hard boiled egg at that point.

[Paige Weldon]

That's so true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just a dry, disgusting. I hope no one's eating eggs right now. Just a mouthful of eggs.

[Paige Weldon]

I always listen to. I said no gifts over breakfast. And I'm feeling criticized.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Someone eating four over hard eggs. Their mouth's just bone dry.

[Paige Weldon]

You know, it's fine. Whatever your egg preference. But it's not as well.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think it's more important in a sandwich. When you're having a breakfast sandwich, if you have an over easy egg, forget it.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, no.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The egg is no longer even part of the sandwich.

[Paige Weldon]

Very delicate situation.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Over medium is even a little tricky.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. You're going to make a mess.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's why I almost prefer a scrambled egg in a sandwich.

[Paige Weldon]

In a sandwich. Unless it's. Well. And when we're talking about an overheard. I guess if it's like a McDonald's breakfast sandwich. Now that is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And now. Is that an over hard egg?

[Paige Weldon]

It's. Yeah, I would say so.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Or Is that a McDonald's egg?

[Paige Weldon]

It's a McDonald's egg. And if we're categorizing it, I guess I would say over hard.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Paige Weldon]

There's a cat over here. Sorry, I'm just making direct eye contact with this cat.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's this beautiful black and white cat that is just watching the podcast right now. I wish it would come visit. I. If only I had a little chicken to entice it. It was over here earlier and I accidentally scared it away. But now it's back. Truly just prying on the floor.

[Paige Weldon]

Do you know the cat?

[Ryan Reynolds]

It comes around. There are two cats that come around, and I love both of them so much. This is the one I see less often. And it's so. It's like a tuxedo cat.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, Tuxedo cat.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just sitting on the roof over there.

[Paige Weldon]

Really piercing eyes, green annalies.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you have any opportunity to take a photo of this thing? We'll share this on Instagram, possibly. Unless it runs away because it is very shy. Paige is taking. This cat is now the third guest on the podcast. It's so cute. Come on.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, I got a really good one.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Paige Weldon]

Wait. Let's get a zoo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is kind of the ideal version of a cat for me. Where?

[Paige Weldon]

Come on.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Paige Weldon]

That beautiful experience we're having.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, share. This is so. It's framed so beautifully.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Paige has really taken a frameworthy photo of this cat. Oh, and it's gone.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. I'm kind of a good photographer.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Whatever the cat has left. But it did provide a little conversation and a photo.

[Paige Weldon]

I. I just felt like I had to address it, otherwise you'd go, why is Paige not looking at me?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I would have been curious if there had been a cat there and you just decided not to tell me.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm glad that I'm okay. Cool. I feel really good about what happened.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What a secret to keep.

[Paige Weldon]

I would never keep a secret from you, Bridger.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You. You tell me everything. That's why I know about Reno.

[Paige Weldon]

I don't tell anyone about that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is my theory is the cats come around a lot more often when I go to Costco because I buy the Costco rotisserie chicken and I throw the, you know, the leftover into the trash, and I think they're, like, circling the area, and I feel bad because they're never going to get it.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. And you also don't want to just leave it out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No. Because of the raccoons.

[Paige Weldon]

Because they won't be the first to come.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes, the raccoons will absolutely be her first. And then who wins?

[Paige Weldon]

The raccoons.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The raccoons. The raccoons always win.

[Paige Weldon]

They do kind of always win.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They're the most powerful part of the community.

[Paige Weldon]

They're so complicated because they're so cute, but.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, they're just. I mean, everybody has this problem with a raccoon.

[Paige Weldon]

It's just they should be less cute if they're. If we're supposed to stay away from them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. I think we may have talked about this on this podcast before, but I think if we had just swapped their personality with opossum. The possum should be as dangerous and as vicious as a raccoon. A raccoon, when it sees you, should just fall over and act like it's dead. And you can just harmless.

[Paige Weldon]

Because possums are cute, except for their tail.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, unfortunately, I'm not on board with any element of a possum.

[Paige Weldon]

Do you know about possums that they only live for two years?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, weird. That's like a bug.

[Paige Weldon]

Isn't that crazy? And I think it's because, for the most part, it's because they're so stupid. So they, like, get hit by cars and, like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, so this is just average lifespan.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. I believe if they were, like, in captivity and, like, taken care of, they can live much longer, but average, they live, like, two years.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, that's the thing about possums is every one of them looks like they have been alive since Earth began. So the fact that they're only around for two years and they just look.

[Paige Weldon]

Ancient and evil, they definitely feel like time travelers. For sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They shouldn't be here out of some portal. Yeah, absolutely terrifying creatures.

[Paige Weldon]

But, yeah, I'm down with that. Personality switch. That sounds good to me. Can we do a Freaky Friday for species Completely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And people do train raccoons to live in their homes, but that feels like it's not okay.

[Paige Weldon]

Nope. You're asking to be attacked.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You're asking for a Travis the chimp situation.

[Paige Weldon]

You're asking. Exactly. It is so I feel like sometimes, too, you'll see it's always somebody has an account where they're, oh, my pet raccoon. And then they Always have other pets too, of course.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Those poor pets living in fear or.

[Paige Weldon]

They'Re, or they think they're safe. I mean, obviously we don't hear about when it goes wrong. I'm sure they just like delete their account and like never, never tell us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The raccoon takes over the account.

[Paige Weldon]

The raccoon takes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, everything's fine.

[Paige Weldon]

They could type, I think.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, wow. Now that would be worth training a raccoon for.

[Paige Weldon]

That would be funny. So ultimately sort of a moral gray area, but we like it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

To see a raccoon writing a letter on a keyboard or it's a novel or what have you. That's very cute.

[Paige Weldon]

That would be cute. Oh, such a clutch off season pickup, Dave. I was worried we'd bring back the same team.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I meant Those blackout motorized shades. Lines.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install?

[Paige Weldon]

No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some for my mom. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Install hall of fame son.

[Paige Weldon]

They're the number one online retailer of.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Custom window coverings in the world.

[Paige Weldon]

Blinds.com is the goat shop lines.com right now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And get up to 40% off select styles plus a free professional measure. Rules and restrictions may apply. I don't know if this is just like, because the way the algorithm works and it's just happened to feed me these exact people, but it feels like most owners of raccoons and like things you find in the forest seem to be in Eastern Europe or like Russia.

[Paige Weldon]

I, I guess that's, I, I haven't had that experience maybe because also I think I've taught my algorithm. I don't want to see that because it, I find it upsetting. But I, I, I appreciate that you shared with me something from your algorithm.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think the algorithm does not know who. I think it's very confused as to who I am and what I want.

[Paige Weldon]

On TikTok or Instagram.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Everything. The only thing the algorithm has figured out and it's not working. It's figured out that I'm a gay man. And I think it's like these people want shorts. And so I'm seeing a lot of ads for shorts that are like $900. Well, you're not gonna get me.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, yeah. When you start getting. I feel like whenever I'm looking for a particular clothing item, like I was looking for like a nice dress for a wedding earlier this year and I'd start getting ads and all the, and then I click on the ad thinking, oh, you know what? Ultimately cool. I am looking for this. And you click and it's like a thousands of dollars item.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So much more expensive than you could have imagined.

[Paige Weldon]

Who is. If I'm. If I have thousands of dollars to spend on a dress, I feel like I'm not gonna buy it from an Instagram ad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A suggested ad. Right. Do you know what I mean?

[Paige Weldon]

Like, I'm gonna be more purposeful.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, of course. You have the power to make. Get exactly what you want.

[Paige Weldon]

Someone can find it for me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Paige Weldon]

Maybe it's the assistants of the world who are opening their $3,000 address ads.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it's a kind of algorithm. They learn what their boss wants. I'm cracking open something very big here out right now.

[Paige Weldon]

The original algorithm and no one talks about it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Completely dehumanizing assistance. That's exactly what assistants want. As if their bosses don't already do that. Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah. Occasionally I'll see a friend. I hate when I fall into the trap of like, I like that shirt. And they're like, oh, yeah, I saw it on Instagram. And then I feel like, well, it's not that interesting anymore.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, I wish.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Don't tell me.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, don't tell anyone when you like anything they're wearing. I guess don't give anyone any compliments. No compliments. No thanks.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, What I'm saying is they shouldn't tell me, right? Just make up a lie. Say, I found it under my bed.

[Paige Weldon]

I. Yeah, this. I forgot.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This actually just fell on my body.

[Paige Weldon]

This. I was born wearing this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

An ancestor gave it to me. This kind of thing. I would never. If I had bought something off Instagram, there's no way I would tell somebody else. Unless it was like a kitchen gadget.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, I actually. I'm not sure if I've ever bought something off of Instagram. I did buy something off of TikTok shop once.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A lot of people are buying TikTok shop.

[Paige Weldon]

But I regretted it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh. What was it? What?

[Paige Weldon]

I wanted. I. So I wanted. I have. I wanted like, a portable battery for my phone, and I have a phone case that has a battery on it. But I saw this ad, it was like. It's like magnetic.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Paige Weldon]

But I came to discover that it's only magnetic to the back of your phone. If you don't have a phone case.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh.

[Paige Weldon]

On it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, well, that's worthless.

[Paige Weldon]

I was furious. And I never bought off TikTok shop again. What?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I've never purchased off TikTok shop is it all coming from the same place. Is it like. I don't understand, because it feels like anybody can put up an item and then it's for sale. Is that true?

[Paige Weldon]

I think it's probably. I'm completely guessing here, but I think it's sort of like how sellers can be on Amazon. Like, you can put your item there and then you can, like, reach out to creators and have them post.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

About to add that there is somebody on TikTok right now selling jars of air hair.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, air.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, there's another idea.

[Paige Weldon]

But it's funny. I've seen this and it's really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it's like, I. I think it can truly be anyone just putting something up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And if it's a gag, people are still into it.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

People just want to throw their money away.

[Paige Weldon]

It also sells something else that they make. Right. Like some sort of knitted item. But the videos are funny where, like, people will ask, like, you know, obviously in the comments. What. What do you mean? And then they'll do like, a reply video being like, you know, I'm glad they're fully doing a bit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Paige Weldon]

Or they're, like, scooping air a bit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That is also a scam.

[Paige Weldon]

It's really good. But it's like, it's such a scam, that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is it a beautiful jar?

[Paige Weldon]

No. Well, sometimes I do think, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, let's see. We're watching the video here. Great.

[Paige Weldon]

And like, it's not a scam because everyone knows it's silly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Paige Weldon]

You know, so it's like. And then I do think it is driving to something else that the person sells. Maybe the cheese. I'm not sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's probably equally worthless in another way.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow. Well, maybe I need to start selling something on TikTok.

[Paige Weldon]

I think you should. You've got a following.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The bar is so low for products. People really don't expect them to work. I think when you buy something on TikTok shop, you're probably like, there's like a 10% chance this actually fulfills.

[Paige Weldon]

I completely blame myself for what happened with my purchase. It was. I fell into the trap.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. That makes sense.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. I wasn't like, I've been wronged by TikTok shop. It's like, this is obviously my fault.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I recently tried to send somebody, so this is a long story, but on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, one of the housewives is being accused of her jewelry line coming from Alibaba. So I sent some. I thought it would be fun to send somebody all of the items I found of hers on. That I found on AliExpress. I had never bought anything off of AliExpress.

[Paige Weldon]

I never have.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I. The problems I've caused for myself and this other person, it's. It's going to last years. The. I get four emails a day updating me on the fact that they're not even shipped yet. And everyone. I thought they were all at least coming from the same ish place. No, every one of these items is coming from a different place and may never even get there. And I imagine at least one of these things is going to show up to his house probably in nine months.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. And so will you guys even be friends by then? No.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because of what I've done, I feel like I've really given him a job. I thought, oh, what a funny bit. And ultimately I should have just bought. I guess that's what this housewife is doing. The services. She's at least collecting the items at her business to send back out.

[Paige Weldon]

Or she's not having them sent directly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, maybe she's drop shipping. Yeah, right.

[Paige Weldon]

That's the scam of our time.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The Whitney Rose scam. Right.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. Because she can't be waiting nine months for these items.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I wouldn't put it past.

[Paige Weldon]

Her unless she decided this was my business plan. Ordered everything and waited for them all to arrive and said, now I start my business.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You never know.

[Paige Weldon]

You buy nine months worth of the product and then place your next order.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, that's what I would have done.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So I guess that's why I don't. I'm not in the jewelry business.

[Paige Weldon]

And that's the only reason.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's the sole reason keeping me from the jewelry world.

[Paige Weldon]

I see you being a jeweler, you can make jewelry, you're creative, you can make something beautiful if. If given the tools.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No way. I was in ceramics in high school. It was a disaster.

[Paige Weldon]

I wanted to be in ceramics in high school. It filled up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, that's a hot class. It's a hot class in high school. Everybody wants to be in there.

[Paige Weldon]

Everybody wants to be in there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. And not everybody's cut out for the ceramics course. I was one of those people.

[Paige Weldon]

And you weren't. You found that out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But you want to find out in high school.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Otherwise I could have gone to college for ceramics and found out hundreds of thousands of dollars later.

[Paige Weldon]

That's so true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You can't throw a pot.

[Paige Weldon]

It does seem it is also more vulnerable to take a ceramics class as an adult.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It Does.

[Paige Weldon]

Right. It hurts more to be bad at something. The older you get, I think. I think the older you are and you try a new thing, the more vulnerable it is, and so you find out that you're bad at it. Personally, I would give up right away.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Of course. That's my entire MO.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. And maybe I would try again in.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Years after everyone had forgotten that I tried.

[Paige Weldon]

After everyone who's, like, three people that knew I tried.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They're dead.

[Paige Weldon]

They've died. I only tell people who are much older than me about my new ventures in life to be safe.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It is a little tricky as an adult to be like, oh, I'm going to be creative. It's tough, people, because all of your friends are like, oh, they think they're creative. We'll see how this works out.

[Paige Weldon]

Cute.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And now we have to kind of support them, and we all know that we're only being nice, so that's a tough spot to be from a starting place as an adult. That's why you got to start ceramics early.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's my life.

[Paige Weldon]

It's too late for me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's too late.

[Paige Weldon]

I'll never. Ceramics.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Don't even think about it.

[Paige Weldon]

I'll never do it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, look, there's something else that we've got to talk about, Unfortunately. Fortunately, I've been having a very nice time up until now, but I've been dancing around something with you. I was so excited to have you here today on the podcast. I thought, I haven't seen Paige in a while. We'll catch up. We'll share secrets, et cetera. No. No hurt feelings, no bad vibes. The podcast is called I said no Gifts. And so I was a little surprised, because I do know emails have been sent, texts have been sent. The name of the podcast has certainly come up.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And then you come trotting into my backyard holding what couldn't more clearly be a gift. Is this a gift for me?

[Paige Weldon]

You know, I would say yes and no. I would say that things are about to get complicated a little bit. I'm obviously aware of the podcast. I'm a fan. I'm a listener.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, there'll be a quiz later. I'm going to really drill in and see if you're.

[Paige Weldon]

I wish you would.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What if I started asking specific questions to find out if you actually hit me? Absolutely not. Not in a million years.

[Paige Weldon]

You don't even remember what you've said.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I certainly don't. Yeah. I mean, I would be the one that failed that question.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. Personally, every time I'VE ever done a podcast. It's. My brain has emptied of everything I've said.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Completely. It's coming from another person, I think.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's like another spirit that takes over my body.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. But I would say you should open this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Paige Weldon]

And then we can talk about whether it's a gift or not.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right, so it's in. We talked about this before the podcast. Beautiful wrapping paper. Some gorgeous flowers and polka dots and the cutest little bow in the forest.

[Paige Weldon]

You gotta put a bow.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I love this style of bow where it's like a back of a dinosaur. The spiky. Yeah.

[Paige Weldon]

It's giving Sarah from Land Before Times. Triceratops. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. I think the wrapping paper is from World Market.

[Ryan Reynolds]

World Market. I want to say I love World Market.

[Paige Weldon]

They have stuff like this. That's what I love about them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. They kind of got everything. I buy my cocoa there.

[Paige Weldon]

I had no idea.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They've got their little secret grocery store in the back. They do. I used to have a boss that would always call it Cost Plus World Market, and it made me want to kill her. Yeah, that's too many words. Just say World Market.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. You're being too formal, and you're showing off that you know the full name.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. No one else knew the name. I would be confused. I'd be like, is there another World Market?

[Paige Weldon]

It's like when people. Do you ever encounter those people know a celebrity with a stage name? They know their real name, and then they feel like. I went to see St. Vincent, and people were like, shouting out Annie, and I was like, shut your mouth.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She doesn't want to hear that.

[Paige Weldon]

You don't. We don't think you're cool or know her, because you know that. And that's the same as calling it Cost Plus World Market. You're name dropping.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And Cost Plus World Market is kind of the St. Vincent of retailers, I would say. Okay, well, let's dive in here. I would say it's about the same size as a vinyl record, maybe slightly smaller, but I. I'm bad with shapes and sizes.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm bad with shapes and sizes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God. This is your.

[Paige Weldon]

This is my vinyl, and I didn't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Know you had vinyl.

[Paige Weldon]

What you'll notice is I signed it on the back.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It says bridger. That'll be 15 love page. You would love to see a dime from me.

[Paige Weldon]

If you pay me for it, it won't be a gift.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's why it's complicated.

[Paige Weldon]

So it's a little bit complicated. Please don't pay me for it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But you're calling into question my integrity as a host.

[Paige Weldon]

How committed are you to not receiving a gift?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Little did you know, I have zero integrity.

[Paige Weldon]

And that's what makes you bad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, that's a detail.

[Paige Weldon]

You know when someone says, why is Bridger bad? No integrity. He doesn't follow up on his promises and his such good supposed beliefs about whether someone should bring him a gift or not.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I heard of a rumor Bridger has no integrity. Okay, well, you brought. This is your new.

[Paige Weldon]

This is my stand up album called I Turned Out Fine.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it's got this fantastic picture of you on the front eating spaghetti.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. It's a recreation of a childhood photo, which is on the back where I'm eating spaghetti covered in margarine.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, margarine. Interesting choice.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, it was what we called butter in my house, but it was margarine. That big tub.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God. That tub is as big as a can of paint.

[Paige Weldon]

It was a mainstay. That is accurate. It's about the size of a candidate. And so I recreated the photo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, and you found the margarine again.

[Paige Weldon]

Well, so a fun fact. So Katherine Leone and Callie Biggerstaff, who did the photo with me, they also made props for it. So they made that margarine tub.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's beautiful.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. They bought, I think it was a sour cream tub and they spray painted it yellow and made the label. Because that is no longer made.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. There's no way that.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Still exists. What about the squirt?

[Paige Weldon]

That's just a. That's just a current.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. This is a modern squirt. Yeah, the can of squirts.

[Paige Weldon]

We felt that the. The logo hadn't changed enough, that we needed to make that extra effort.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I would argue it's a completely different can.

[Paige Weldon]

You should have been on the creative team.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Paige Weldon]

That's why I really wish.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's why I'm on so many creative teams pulling out these details for people. I've got that artistic eye.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. And yet you think you couldn't make jewelry. My goodness.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, tell me why you brought this today.

[Paige Weldon]

Well, I just wanted you to have it. It's something I'm proud of.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's pretty recent, right?

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, I released it in September, end of September, with a special thing, records. And it's cool. The vinyl is also green, which is cool. Oh, I want to open it up. It's like recycled vinyl. They use scraps of a certain color.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's like emerald.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. It might be hard to Pull out of. Sometimes the static causes an issue, but.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It'S like a green bowling ball.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. They're all unique because they're, like, blended up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, that's so beautiful.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Why aren't they doing every record like this?

[Paige Weldon]

I honestly don't know. When I was told I could choose that, I was like, why wouldn't you choose that?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. And that's why you have integrity, Bridger.

[Paige Weldon]

I have to be honest, I'm a little bit nervous right now because I have to tell you something.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What?

[Paige Weldon]

I actually got you two gifts.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What?

[Paige Weldon]

I knew I was gonna bring you this no matter what. This doesn't feel like a gift to me. This is a promotional.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is a promotional tool.

[Paige Weldon]

But I also. I think when I mentioned to you that I would love to do the podcast, I said that I'm a really good gift giver.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. That's the only reason I allowed you on.

[Paige Weldon]

And, yeah, I felt the need to pitch myself. I felt like I should say that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You knew I didn't trust you.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm a really good gift giver. It's a problem. I feel almost guilty sometimes when I give people gifts because they're too good and nobody can ever match me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Paige Weldon]

But as I said, I'm a listener of the podcast. When I was listening recently, you were talking about asmr.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Paige Weldon]

And I know you said you forget everything you say, but maybe you'll remember this. You were talking about a specific type of ASMR video.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yes. My dream ASMR video.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. Do you remember what it was?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. It's somebody, like, at a national park or a museum with a little map telling you how it works. You know, like they're like telling you where to go or whatever. And they're marking the map.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. With what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

With a highlighter.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, with a highlighter.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I wasn't going to say that because I was like, maybe that's too many details, but that is 100% part of it.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. I think you also said specifically someone telling you to go to how to get to Old Faithful.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow. You remember a lot of things.

[Paige Weldon]

So I went on to Cameo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God. What?

[Paige Weldon]

And I found an ASMR creator and her name's Natasha. Here she is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, this is unbelievable.

[Paige Weldon]

Anneliese has it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. Annaliese already has a pull up. So I've. Annelies is now in trouble. Let's just say trouble.

[Paige Weldon]

And it's 10 minutes long, so we do not have to listen to the whole thing. I wish we wouldn't But I think we should. Let's listen to the first bit and then I have some time codes I'd like us to sort of jump.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I'm so excited about this.

[Paige Weldon]

And I obviously told her your name is Bridger. And I said all the things that we.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, great.

[Paige Weldon]

Just said she's typing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, I'm approaching. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Paige Weldon]

It does take a long. Hi.

[Natasha]

How can I help you?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm looking for Old Faithful.

[Natasha]

Are you enjoying the park so far?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I could use a little.

[Natasha]

Isn't it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I could use some directions. I'm Bridger.

[Natasha]

Nice to meet you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm.

[Natasha]

Yes, I am. I'm a park ranger here. I can help you with whatever you need. I've been working here do too long, so I'm rather new, but.

[Paige Weldon]

Can we pause? She's kind of created this character where she's new and she doesn't. If she can't answer your questions, like, she can look it up in the database. Oh, she kind of gets into some of that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Which I love.

[Paige Weldon]

And she does, like, start. What I will say is, I did ask for her to use a highlighter. I don't want you to be disappointed. She definitely uses a green Sharpie.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, but that same texture.

[Paige Weldon]

But it does. There are some nice moments of the sound.

[Ryan Reynolds]

If it was a pencil or a pen, it would be ruined.

[Paige Weldon]

I said not pen in my request.

[Ryan Reynolds]

My dream would have been shattered.

[Paige Weldon]

Well, it's. And after listening to the episode, I saw that what you were talking about. There are a lot of people out there with pens and it doesn't work. And it's not the same thing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's simply not the same thing.

[Paige Weldon]

If you could Skip to, like, 3ish minutes in, it's. She likes telling you about, like, places you could stop along the way, which I think is really nice. She also does, like, multiple times throughout, repeat that she's a park ranger.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She really got into it.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, she, like. Honestly, I'm very pleased.

[Natasha]

There is the Mammoth Hot Springs, but you'd have to go a little bit out of your way to get there. I mean, it's worth it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it would be. It would be quite. Quite the hike. Did you bring, like, a list with the things that you're gonna need for the trip? Are you planning on camping at all?

[Ryan Reynolds]

A little bit.

[Natasha]

Okay, so let's just write down the thing. The places that you definitely don't want to miss.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, fantastic.

[Paige Weldon]

She does start, like, asking later. She's concerned about your safety. Yeah. She printed out I Guess we haven't seen yet. She does have a printed out map.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is such dedication.

[Paige Weldon]

I am so impressed.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do we know, can we advertise her?

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, it's Natasha ASMR on cameo. I. I'm very pleased with her word.

[Natasha]

Any other necessities?

[Paige Weldon]

I didn't choose for her to also be a redhead, but I thought it was kind of nice.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is a dream for me.

[Paige Weldon]

I just want to see her pull the map up. I want you to see the map she printed. She has it on a little.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I search high and low for this sort of thing.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, it's not out there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's simply not. Oh, that's where you are.

[Paige Weldon]

That might be a real highlighter.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, that looks like a highlighter.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, she had a green pen earlier.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, she's, you know, she's a professional. She has several tools. Oh my gosh, my brain is melting now. I don't have to go to museums anymore.

[Paige Weldon]

No, well, and I, I chose.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That sound is incredible to me.

[Paige Weldon]

She said museum or park. And later on when she's talking about places you could stop, she does mention the museum.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, oh, look at this map. This is, I mean there is extremely detailed on this map.

[Natasha]

But your route that you're following starts at the yellow circle up here. So keep that in mind. And I'm also going to just highlight in red some areas that are just not good at the moment in this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, there's stations.

[Paige Weldon]

She talks about places where like things are closed at this time of year. If you go to like the detail. I don't know where there's like 8ish minutes. There's like another time where she says Bridger. And I found that. Oh, she. I won't say what she says, but.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She, I mean the way she's sort.

[Paige Weldon]

Of signing off with you in this moment and like giving you like a phone number to call if you have any issues. And remember my name is Natasha.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hands me a walkie talkie.

[Natasha]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, you definitely want to make sure you have stuff like that. I'm making sure everything on your list is circled here for you quickly. Right. And I'm just going to write your name down on the map.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Thank you. Been a lot of map theft.

[Paige Weldon]

No one can say they didn't know it was your map.

[Natasha]

Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There we go for Bridger.

[Natasha]

Perfect.

[Paige Weldon]

I feel like you can hear her making the shapes of VR.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Paige Weldon]

It's really nice.

[Natasha]

All right. Do you think you have adequate amount of food?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, you have really taken care of me. Oh, yes, yes. I've got the food in the laundry.

[Natasha]

I mean, if you're doing the trip, you're probably prepared, but you would be surprised how many people are, just not.

[Paige Weldon]

So we like to be sure.

[Natasha]

I'm gonna write you down a phone number here that you can call if you need any help.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, great.

[Paige Weldon]

Like, has she been a park ranger? No. I feel like she's so good.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is method.

[Paige Weldon]

I mean, this is kind of the. The end.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She's just kind of taken care of.

[Paige Weldon]

When you're trying to fall asleep at.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Night, sending me off into the park.

[Paige Weldon]

You can listen to Natasha just in.

[Natasha]

Case you forgot or you forget. Personally, I'm horrible with names, so I would not be offended.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, me too.

[Natasha]

But you won't. Anyways, I wrote it down. So here is your map for you. Does everything look nice?

[Paige Weldon]

This is good.

[Natasha]

All right, perfect. I'm just gonna give it a little fold.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, the sound is so good.

[Natasha]

And if it does, it's not on the actual map. Right? But I'm sure it will with everything you're doing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Natasha, you've really taken care of me, and I appreciate it.

[Paige Weldon]

I like that you're interacting with her.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There you are.

[Natasha]

Thank you so much for coming in. I hope you have an amazing time.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, thank you.

[Natasha]

You're gonna love it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We'll see you around, Natasha. Wow, that is an unbelievable gift. I'm going to sleep for 40 hours after listening to that.

[Paige Weldon]

Like, I'm so happy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All anxiety has washed away from me.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm so glad. And that's all I wanted to gift to you. I hope you can forgive me for calling you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Forgive me. This is spectacular. In communicating with her, how many exchanges were there? Did she have questions?

[Paige Weldon]

No, I just wrote to her the allotted amount of characters on cameo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow.

[Paige Weldon]

And she delivered.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

How many characters do they give you?

[Paige Weldon]

Like 250 or something?

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's not a lot.

[Paige Weldon]

I know. I definitely. And I can be long winded. So I had to edit myself down and I felt the need. I almost. I noticed in writing it initially, I had a desire to be like. And if that doesn't make sense, let me know. And thank you so much. Stefan's like, you actually don't have space for that. That's for later. I guess I'll tell her thank you. But she did a great job. I had a few ideas. I did text you asking if you had any food allergies because of a different idea that I changed my mind about.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So when did she produce this video?

[Paige Weldon]

I got it this morning.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Because you texted me, I think yesterday.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Asking. Wow.

[Paige Weldon]

I'll be honest, I panicked because I was gonna bring you cookies. And then I saw that Zach Noye Towers just brought you cookies. I was like, I can't do that. But ultimately, I think it's for the best because this was better than cookies.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I hate to diminish another.

[Paige Weldon]

Gift, but you can make yourself a cookie.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I can make myself a cookie. As I do. And now this. I've gotta, like, burn this to, like, physical media. I need this forever. Yeah, you should put this on vinyl. Oh, I'm gonna release this as a vinyl album and then get sued by Natasha.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, yeah. I'll ask Natasha what your rights are as the recipient of this cameo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow. It's really. That's. I mean, you've gone above and beyond. I just can't believe. Have you ever done another cameo before?

[Paige Weldon]

I did one other cameo with a group of friends. We. We tried to get the guy from say anything to John Cusack. No.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It'S like, what?

[Paige Weldon]

He has a cameo and he. He basically the cameo cameo. We're waiting for our refund because we cannot hear a word. It's like, like, I don't know if he had his hand on the microphone.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A professional musician wasn't allowed. Wasn't able to record audio. Ooh, he's in a tough spot.

[Paige Weldon]

It was weird, but it was like. It was kind of funny because it was bad, but it was also bad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm sure it wasn't cheap.

[Paige Weldon]

It was, like, not crazy expensive. And we split it between a bunch of friends as like a birthday gift, but I guess it's possible. My friend who ordered it got a refund and hasn't told us, but I'm pretty sure she would.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It was her money making scheme.

[Paige Weldon]

She did this knowing all along she would get a few bucks from each of us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She was looking to steal $10 from all of her friends?

[Paige Weldon]

I think so. But yeah. I've never done another cameo other than.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, yes. The only. I've never done one. Jim has done one. He got one for his mom from a soap opera star that she's had a crush on for like 40 years.

[Paige Weldon]

Did she love it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

She went crazy.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Reynolds]

His name's like. He has some nickname, like sweaty muscles or something like. Something like that.

[Paige Weldon]

Is he very muscular?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, he's probably in his 70s at this point. He's trying to keep it together.

[Paige Weldon]

Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I assume at some point he was kind of a hot shot soap opera guy.

[Paige Weldon]

I do find cameo sort of tragic. I was gonna say. I think it's the perfect. Perfect, like, to give a cameo to someone who's older who, like, doesn't totally get what cameo is and means.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Doesn't understand, like, that.

[Paige Weldon]

It doesn't understand that. It means that your favorite person is, like, in dire straits.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's their new slogan. Your favorite person is in dire straits. Cameo.

[Paige Weldon]

Favorite person needs some more passive income. Relative. Relatively passive income.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's so true, though. Yeah. They're like, oh, I guess I'm just special. And this must have cost thousands of dollars.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And just let the person assume that.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. One of the top gifts that. I think you don't want to tell how much it costs if it's, like, a celebrity gift, because, like, obviously for creators like Natasha, like, it totally is just part of her job as opposed to the celebrities who are on there. It's a little bit, like, right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

At one point, they were potentially making millions of dollars.

[Paige Weldon]

It's like how I feel when I see Mandy Moore in those TJ Maxx ads.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I didn't know Mandy was doing TJ's.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. It's like, obviously, I hope she's doing. I would imagine.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is that a current thing happening?

[Paige Weldon]

I don't have a lot of money from this Is Us because it was a network show.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's never enough money. Once you get a taste of the this Is Us money, you want more money.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. My hope is that she's not doing that because she needs to. And more like, they came to her with that. She was like, I guess. Yeah. Might as well. While she's collecting her residuals from this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is Us, she probably is. I imagine TJ's is paying her all kinds of money, I'm sure. I mean, is she currently employed outside of.

[Paige Weldon]

I guess. I don't know what she's. Oh, well, she is doing a podcast called that Was Us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That. Oh, okay. Well, that was Us. Sure.

[Paige Weldon]

Not this is Us. That was Us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And now that sounds kind of accusatory.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. She's saying that is not me anymore.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I've got to be very clear.

[Paige Weldon]

I am not a Pearson anymore. I am a fan of this Is Us. I really like that show.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The only episode I've seen is 10 minutes of the last one. Something to do. Oh, my God. She was on a train or something.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Spoiler. She gets on a train. If that's a big part of the series, I'm sorry.

[Paige Weldon]

It's very funny because that scene is, like, very beautiful and emotional, but it's funny if you don't know the context.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And listener, if you don't want this thing spoiled for you. Well, actually, keep listening. I don't care. Is the train going to heaven or something?

[Paige Weldon]

In so many words. Yeah. She's dying and she's sort of, like, reliving people and moments of her life.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, so she, like, in reality, she's probably in a hospital bed and she's imagining I'm on a train because I assume the character is obsessed with trains.

[Paige Weldon]

Yes. Yeah, that's it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's a one character.

[Paige Weldon]

I never really thought about why it's a train.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They probably had one to shoot on. I don't remember. Jeep. It was either that or a fog machine, and they were like, let's put her on a train. Train. Feels like a train. Is the thing you go to hell in.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, actually, that's very true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So maybe that's the big secret of this series.

[Paige Weldon]

I don't know that it's really said if she goes to heaven or hell. And that's why I write my fan.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Fiction about her time in hell.

[Paige Weldon]

Rebecca Pearson Goes to Hell.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's canon, your fan fiction. This is hell.

[Paige Weldon]

This is hell. This is what happens when, after your husband dies, you marry his best friend. Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is that what happens? She should go to hell?

[Paige Weldon]

It's complicated, but, yes, I'm taking a.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Real strong stance on this character. She should burn for eternity.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. I mean, but do we blame Miguel as well, the best friend?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, he'll probably go to hell as well. Yeah, but a separate hell. So they can't be together.

[Paige Weldon]

And Jack is in heaven. Milo Ventimiglia is in heaven.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is that the person who dies because the appliance starts on fire?

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. It's a crocodile.

[Paige Weldon]

You really tease it for so long in the series. You know, he dies, but you don't know how.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh.

[Paige Weldon]

I had never watched the show when it was on, and I binged it this past year. So I really know a lot of, like, it's recent in my memory.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Maybe I should get into it.

[Paige Weldon]

Maybe I do like it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, sincerely. Or is there, like, an element of. Like, this? I know. I realize this is a little melodramatic, and it's fine either way.

[Paige Weldon]

I would say 90% sincerely, 10% like, this is over the top. Like, because there obviously are moments that are like, oh, my God, this is so, like, dramatic. But I also am like. But it's also compelling. So, like, what am I. Like, how much am I going to analyze my enjoyment of this? You know? Like, I am compelled and I want to know what happens. And I do care about the characters.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. And so this is the problem with my entire life is I can't do that.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I will just be constantly thinking, analyzing if I'm enjoying and why I'm enjoying. And so ultimately not enjoying.

[Paige Weldon]

You might have a hard time with this as us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Paige Weldon]

But I loved it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I loved those 10 minutes on the train.

[Paige Weldon]

Watch the pilot.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Paige Weldon]

The pilot is a really good pilot.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And they do put them in, like, old people clothes or wigs, right?

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. Because it takes place like we're constantly flashing back and forward.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And when we flash back, it's not like flashing back to the 2000s and then they're in the future. They're like, flashing back to the 70s or something.

[Paige Weldon]

Yes. It starts. Everything starts in the 70s.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Paige Weldon]

Or yeah, like late 70s. Cause in the first episode, the triplets are turning 36. It's like their 36th birthday.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, three of them. Huh? Wow. Yeah. I almost would prefer the show if it took place in, like, 2055 and then they were flashing back. But then you probably won't have the crock pot.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. It would be harder to place it in time.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right?

[Paige Weldon]

With things we know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. It would probably be an instant pot that explodes in his face or something that kills him. But there's always room for a reboot. I wish they would Jack killed by an air fryer or something.

[Paige Weldon]

Everything's different this time.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Except for the fact that she goes to hell.

[Paige Weldon]

Except for the fact that he dies and she goes to hell. Yeah. And he goes to heaven. I'm ready.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, I'm so excited about my ASMR video. Natasha will just be putting me to sleep.

[Paige Weldon]

I hope it genuinely helps you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm. I cannot tell you how many times I've googled and then got right into YouTube. I've gone on TikTok, I've looked for this, and as you know, they don't exist.

[Paige Weldon]

They don't exist.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And some people have really put in an effort. They'll put on, like, a park ranger uniform, which we don't need. No, it's the sounds that matter.

[Paige Weldon]

It's the sounds that matter.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But they all forget about the highlighter. And so now I've got the one of these that exists. And maybe it'll inspire some other creators.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, maybe. So you don't have to share this. This is yours.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is my personal little treat.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What's ASMR for you?

[Paige Weldon]

I do like the whispering. I enjoy a Good crinkle of something, you know?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sure.

[Paige Weldon]

Or I like the ones where it's like makeup brushes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. I wonder, is there some sort of like, memory thing also attached where, like, because, like, I don't use makeup, I don't feel like that would really have any effect on me.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, like, I guess, because. Yeah, I don't really. I guess the whole thing about ASMR is we like, don't totally understand what is happening. I do feel like I remember the first time I felt like the experience of asmr, but I like, didn't know that that existed. And it was when I was in like a. I was having a meeting with like my college counselor and she was just like telling me what I could do and I was kind of like, why am I so relaxed by this? Even though I'm kind of also stressed about my future. So maybe I would like a ASMR video. Maybe I'll order one from Natasha of her as my college counselor telling me about my course catalog and what I could do.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't think I got a college counselor. I think my school counselors failed me in a huge way.

[Paige Weldon]

Well, this was my college counselor at my community college because no offense to community college, but because I didn't really have somebody at my high school who was telling me what schools I should realistically apply to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I went through this exact experience.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

My high school counselor was just always bragging about how her brother had a job in Hollywood. Oh, no. But despite me it like mildly expressing interest in it, she had no interest in connecting the dots here. Yes. She just wanted to brag about him, so good riddance.

[Paige Weldon]

Was she Mormon? Do we know?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Probably. But yeah, asmr. Yeah, it's the same thing for me. I've been haunted at national parks and museums until these things became popular in what, the 2010s?

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. Yeah, that feels true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And like we became aware or at least the larger public became aware of it.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And now I've really secured my ultimate asmr.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Gorgeous. Well, I think we should play a game.

[Paige Weldon]

I would love to play a game.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Let's play Gift or a Curse. I need a number between one and 10 from you.

[Paige Weldon]

Seven.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

[Paige Weldon]

Okay, I guess I'll promote. You can buy my album on vinyl. It is $15. Or you can listen to it wherever. But I would say then just take it as what it is. Which is a promotional tool. And then I guess I would just be promoting me. If you want to give me a job or anything like that. I'm free and obviously hilarious. Obviously. You should also watch this is Us. It's on Netflix. I also watched all of Desperate Housewives recently. That's kind of what I'm getting into. If anyone wants to just talk to me about Desperate Housewives, I'm promoting that as well. Reach out. They should not have killed Edie. Spoiler alert.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Did she go to hell?

[Paige Weldon]

For sure. Based on the rules I'm to understand about hell, Edie definitely goes to hell.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah. Everybody find Paige. Paige is so funny and just delightful. I've worked with you.

[Paige Weldon]

It's true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We worked on Corporate together and coworkers. I remember combining forces in a big way when we were writing oh yeah. The Good Job episode. Because I had to really fight for an element of the show and I felt your support. And you had a great joke that I think might be the last joke in the show.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you remember what this is?

[Paige Weldon]

The scene is the count off, right? Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's a car saleswoman played by Lauren Lapkis, wonderfully. But she's eventually discovered to be kind of a murderous car saleswoman that's trying to escape the country and ends up killing. Shooting five FBI agents.

[Paige Weldon]

Right. And what we're following the whole time is she wants to get a five star review.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. Five out of five.

[Paige Weldon]

Five out of five. So when we have these five people, when she's done.

[Ryan Reynolds]

When this murderous car saleswoman is done killing these federal agents, she says five out of five. And then I remember distinctly being in the writers room with you, and then you pitched the idea of another agent coming in and her killing him and saying, 6 out of 5.

[Paige Weldon]

Is that what it was?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes, I'm pretty sure.

[Paige Weldon]

Or was it that she shot four and then a fifth person comes in?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, it's six out of five. And we don't condone the killing of anyone, obviously.

[Paige Weldon]

Okay. And I actually am now remembering this because I. Right. And yes, of course we don't. But I feel like it was one of those classics moments where somebody is arguing like, well, that doesn't make sense. And us being like, yeah, exactly. That's why it's funny.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There was a huge argument because they wanted her to just push the FBI agents over. And I remember I rarely get loud in a writer's room. I remember yelling, if we don't have a car saleswoman, kill five federal agents, then what are we even doing here?

[Paige Weldon]

I remember now. Oh, my God.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And again, we don't want federal agents killed. It's not funny. No, but it was just so absurd that this essentially, like a Buick saleswoman becomes the ultimate villain. Yeah, not Buick. I think we had to name it a different brand. We wanted Pontiac and then Pontiac. We couldn't because of the copyright. It ended up being.

[Paige Weldon]

It was something you said because it's like a car that's not made anymore.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I wanted Pontiac. I wanted it to be a Pontiac Firebird or Sunfire or something, but we ended up calling it, like, the brand I think was, like, Saturn or. No, not even Saturn. It was Jupiter.

[Paige Weldon]

Jupiter.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Fake car.

[Paige Weldon]

Fake car.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But, I mean, the whole thing was fake. The listener was like, what are they talking about?

[Paige Weldon]

When I watched that episode of Corporate, it was really hard for me to find. And then I watched it, I thought the whole thing was real.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I thought it was a documentary.

[Paige Weldon]

I literally thought that those people died.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And that this woman was on the lam.

[Paige Weldon]

I know Halloween's past, but, man, I'd like to encourage anyone out there. Next Halloween, go as those five and six agents. Wouldn't that be such a good costume?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God, the deepest costume.

[Paige Weldon]

You would have to explain so much.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There would be a lot. I mean, again, listener, more ears on this podcast. They would just send them this episode.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah, listen to the episode. Listen to this episode of the podcast. Just don't watch the episode.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, now that we've really. I've completely derailed the show. Don't apologize. I'm saying I'm sorry.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm not sorry. I look in the camera a lot.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, this is how we play Gift or a curse. I'm going to name three things. You're going to tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers. You can lose. Oh, and I should remind the listener that you can now buy the home version of [e-mail] the holidays are coming. Oh, the holidays are just around the corner. And this game will start fights. So you want to, you know. You know, want to ruin Christmas? Get the game. That's all I'm going to say. Okay, number one, this is from a listener named Andy. Gift or a curse. Being the only man invited to a baby shower.

[Paige Weldon]

Okay, this is interesting because I have been the only woman in a groom's party, which I feel is sort of a similar feeling. The only man invited, I assume. Gosh, I know. I'M getting too in the weeds. But is it like, are you the only man because you're a guest of someone there or are you a friend who didn't want to be left out? I'm going to say just curse because I think it's a curse to be invited to a baby shower in general because you have to get a gift and pretend to be excited about the baby and. Yeah, so I guess I'm taking out the fact that you're the only man and just saying in general, curse.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wrong. No, it's a gift. We all know what's happening here. All of the ladies are saying, do we invite the gay one? Yeah, and of course we do. It is a horrible thing to have to go to the baby shower, any shower, it's such a boring event. And then the ones where they. I've actually never been to one.

[Paige Weldon]

There's a gift coming in. Bridger, you're saying it's horrible, but we love that we're. You're included.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Including, or at least releasing. You know, just pointing out, look, here comes Bridger. We all know why Bridger's invited.

[Paige Weldon]

He's one of the girls.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it's an incredible. It's just something we all know what's going on, right? And it's ultimately, you know, it's such a gift.

[Paige Weldon]

Interesting.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Absolutely no evidence to back off.

[Paige Weldon]

You know, I guess if I do think back to my experience being a grooms woman, it did give me a certain feeling of like, guess I'm cool, guess I'm one of the guys. And that is a nice feeling, I guess.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes, it's a nice feeling.

[Paige Weldon]

It's a nice feeling to sort of get to be. I don't know. Fine. I lose that round.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I think you do lose the round. And I think it gives us a nice little piece of slang to refer to a gay man. You know, it's like, you know, he's the only man invited to. He's the only man invited to a baby shower.

[Paige Weldon]

He's the only man I invited to my baby shower.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's code. It's ultimately code.

[Paige Weldon]

It's code.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's been around for ages and it's so old fashioned. We all know what's happening.

[Paige Weldon]

Can I ask a question? When people write in with their suggestions, do they say whether they think it's a gift or a curse?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Occasionally. And I ignore it. Okay. Because I don't want to be biased.

[Paige Weldon]

Like your belief is the ultimate answer.

[Ryan Reynolds]

My knowledge is the ultimate knowledge. What you know is what is fact is fact. Yeah, but yeah, when they write in, I think a lot of times they'll write in something that is horrible and they feel the need to be like, I do think this is bad. Okay, okay. Number two, this is from my sister and she kind of gets priority when she submits things. My sister, Sarah Ashley, gift her a curse. People waving you through a four way stop even though they clearly got there first.

[Paige Weldon]

Curse.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Paige almost walked off the podcast.

[Paige Weldon]

There is nothing I hate more as a driver than when we are trying to be polite instead of just following the rules. Because now you've endangered all of us. We are all operating from a set of rules that we know and no one is a hero for waving someone in. Like, just go when you're supposed to go hesitating and doing the wrong thing is when accidents happen. Curse 100% Paige wrong.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's a gift and I'll tell you exactly why. It really is one of the most infuriating things that could possibly happen to a person. And it taught me I really had to learn a lesson. Just in the past few months, I had to say, I have to stop being so mad at these people. Because I was getting to the point. I was yelling things like, you've been living there your entire life. You're a naturalized citizen of that stop sign. You could run for president of that stop sign. I was so mad at these people. They had been there waving way before me and I would get furious. I was thinking, why am I? Who cares? And so I really grew as a person thanks to all these horrible drivers. And now get to. I'll pull up. They wave me through and I say, I'll take it. You're bad at driving and I'm headed on my way.

[Paige Weldon]

So you get a sense of superiority because you get to go a little.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sooner, I get to go a little sooner. And I've evolved as a person. I'm now an evolved person.

[Paige Weldon]

So you're saying I'm not evolved exactly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

In so many words. But I mean, it is one of the most maddening.

[Paige Weldon]

It makes me. You brought up something that I like, talk about all the time because it bothers me so much is politeness on the road.

[Ryan Reynolds]

My neighborhood is littered with four way stops. And so I'm seeing every type of behavior all the time.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And so I've had to really just come to terms with. No one knows how to use a four way stop.

[Paige Weldon]

But we should.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's very simple.

[Paige Weldon]

It's so simple.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But for whatever reason, people have decided all of our brains will break down when we pull up to this, everyone.

[Paige Weldon]

Thinks, oh, this is my opportunity to show I'm so nice. I just think you're stupid, actually. So that's just my opinion. All right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. You've gotten zero so far, and you're doing terrible. Okay. This third one is. We don't know who it's from. It was from the. We got some from the Instagram live before the last live show. So my apologies to whoever this is. Gift or a curse. Someone reciting a poem to you from memory.

[Paige Weldon]

How long is the poem? Can we talk about that?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Poems can be any length. Could be the Odyssey. It could be a haiku.

[Paige Weldon]

This is a hard one. I can't say this has happened to me. So I guess except in a school environment where somebody is doing their presentation. I don't know why I said school like that. I guess I'm gonna say gift, because I think ultimately that's kind of sweet. I think that's cute that somebody loves a poem so much that they memorized it and they want to share it with Gift.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's a gift. I mean, as you said, what a beautiful thing. Also potentially terrifying. I mean, it can run the gamut of emotional feelings. Like, the mood can be. If that were whispered to you from somebody behind you in a movie theater, what's happening? If it's a dear friend, you think, oh, they love it, and it's just such a beautiful thing. Do you have any poems memorized?

[Paige Weldon]

I don't think I do. Not like a straight up. Like, I have. I feel like song lyrics, obviously, I have memorized, but I don't know that I have any poems memorized. Do you?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think I could probably, like, maybe not verbatim, but I could probably. I know, like a kind of weirdly devastating that I really made an impression on me. It's very short. I remember because I follow, like, an Instagram account that, like, posts old poems.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Can't remember the name of it, but they should. I try.

[Paige Weldon]

I think you should absolutely try.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's kind of a devastating. If I remember correctly, that is my.

[Paige Weldon]

If we're not writing a devastating poem, what are we doing, right, to bring back that sort of question.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Riddle. A riddle or a joke.

[Paige Weldon]

Art is supposed to hurt your feelings, in my opinion.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, I'm gonna try this. It was from, like, a. It was from, like, Japanese poet in, like, the 1100s or something. I don't know, like a very old thing. But obviously this wouldn't be the Japanese. Okay, everyone, forgive me. I'm trying to access my Memory to show off.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm not looking at you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And also, everybody, prepare to be devastated. And I'm gonna do this as dramatically or as beautifully as possible.

[Paige Weldon]

What if I cry?

[Ryan Reynolds]

We might all cry. This might touch something for all of us. Okay. It goes. A thousand years, you said as our hearts melted I look at the hand you held and the ache is too much to bear I think that's it. Annalise, can you try Googling that?

[Paige Weldon]

So we've got a thousand years. Mic drop said, let's break it down.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's a tough one. To me, it's some sort of loss, either through death or through someone leaving someone. Anneliese, how close was that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Very close. A thousand years, you said as our two hearts melted I look at the hand you held and the ache is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Too hard to bear oh, what did I miss?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think it might have been just.

[Paige Weldon]

Some light phrasing difference at the end.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow. Good for me. Yes.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was actually the 8th century.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's what you mean.

[Paige Weldon]

So 8th century difference.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm an absolute fraud. The fact that I have recalled anything from my brain. This is a first for the podcast for me to remember something that was really good.

[Paige Weldon]

I don't remember anything.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Isn't that a sad poem?

[Paige Weldon]

That's really sad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just the line. I look at the hand you held.

[Paige Weldon]

Even just the first line. A thousand years, you said.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Oof.

[Paige Weldon]

You know, you said, oh. Basically, you said, forever.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, heart wrenching.

[Paige Weldon]

And yet here we are.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So it's nice to know that people in the 8th century were also kind of just doing these. We all have some over the top emotional breakups. Loss. It always. It comes for all of us, and then only a few of us choose to write a poem that Bridget Weiniger remembers centuries later.

[Paige Weldon]

Beautiful.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That person really made an impression on me. Do we know who wrote it?

[Paige Weldon]

Thank you for sharing a silver stick. I was literally going to say, I was like, probably anything I could come up with was maybe, like, a Shel Silverstein, but I feel like I can only remember the names of the books. You know, I hope I'm not butchering.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This, but Lady Higuri.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, Lady Haguri.

[Paige Weldon]

Haguri.

[Bridger Weiniger]

H E G U R I in English.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Good for her.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm sorry. I know that we're, like, coming to the end of the podcast, but have I ever told you my Shel Silverstein story?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No.

[Paige Weldon]

When I was in fifth grade, we wrote to our favorite authors, and sometimes we would get a letter back, and if we did, the teacher would Read it out loud. And we got a letter back from Shel Silverstein. And my teacher did not pre read it. He opened it and was reading it, and it literally to a classroom full of fifth graders. And it said something like, dear Paige, thank you so much for your kind letter. Unfortunately, Shell passed away last year.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh.

[Paige Weldon]

And he read that out loud. And it, like, all. That's how everyone in my fifth grade class found out that Shel Silverstein died.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What was the reaction?

[Paige Weldon]

I feel like it was just like he, like, stopped reading the letter, and we, like, read the book we were reading out loud that day or something. Like, we moved on.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The teacher must have been learning in that moment.

[Paige Weldon]

He must have. Yeah. Because we all thought we got a letter from Shell. It was brutal.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That is a tough thing to hear.

[Paige Weldon]

I don't know exactly how it affected me psychologically, but it definitely did.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow. Wow. What a. You'll always remember. Yeah.

[Paige Weldon]

That Shel Silverstein is dead.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You'll never forget.

[Paige Weldon]

I absolutely remember.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, so many people forget. Well, you got one out of three.

[Paige Weldon]

That's not bad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And we got a poem out of it.

[Paige Weldon]

I feel good about that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yes. And we have a new segment of the podcast. This is just the second time we're doing it. This is Annalise's gift or a curse. And Annalise is the only truly subjective or objective source of information in the backyard right now. And so they're going to give us one more gift or a curse, and we're both going to answer.

[Paige Weldon]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Gift or a curse. Voice notes on dating apps.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, to me. Gift. Because of the fact that the minute I hear it, most of the time, I'm like, no, thanks. No swipe bad. So I appreciate knowing what someone's voice sounds like and if they're annoying. Gift.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, I'm going to really give this some thought. I haven't been on a dating app in a while. I'm trying to put myself in the place of someone who has not only just opened a dating app, they're tired of dating. They've filled out their interests, and now there's a record button for them to record. Is it just as much as you want to record?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Gift. Here is the big opportunity to publish your audiobook. Everybody else has passed, and you thought that things were over. You were gonna move. You were going to move back home, fall back on your other job, and now you have hundreds of hours of recording time to hit that little red button and get going, and you've got an eager audience ready to listen. It's a gift. Everybody should have to record a voice note on every app. Okay, Annalies, what do you think?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gift. You're calibrated well on this podc, I have to go meet somebody in the flesh, and I have to get in my car and drive however many minutes to meet them. I want to understand that there are at least a few chemistry markers that we have checked off. And if I can hear their voice and make sure that it doesn't sound awful. That is a gift. Absolutely, that is a gift. And also, it does help a situation. Like if you're saying if you send one and somebody's put off by that, then you know, oh, this person has something to hide. I have nothing to hide. I'm gonna send this. They're gonna hear my voice.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Clearly they have something to hide. Now I know not to engage.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And what. What kind of things are people saying?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I mean, most of it's on Hinge, so it's usually on their profile. And people can. Like I, for me, example, I shared the last time I. I think it was the last time I cried, and it was listening to the how to Train youn Dragon soundtrack.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, perfect.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I, like, played a clip of the soundtrack.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, DreamWorks is coming for you.

[Paige Weldon]

That dating app.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, exactly. Well, there's a reason I'm not playing it on the podcast, but, yeah, it gives you a chance to showcase a little personality. As you said, an audiobook can never hurt.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. It's not just, can I hear if your voice is strange in some way, so I'm not visibly surprised in real life. But also, it's just so much easier to get a sense of someone's sort of vibe and energy from their voice and how they actually talk as opposed to, you know, some people have a hard time writing a thing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A thing. Yeah. I mean, I will say just any element of a dating app is a nightmare.

[Paige Weldon]

Oh, it's embarrassing no matter what. And it's. Yeah. Bad. But I think when I have seen a voice note, I'm grateful for it. I personally do not have one on any of my profiles.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But you could sing a song.

[Paige Weldon]

I could sing a song. Just a heads up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Resign. A poem. I've given you a beautiful poem to write a book.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tell your Shel Silverstein story.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Or just say, shel Silverstein. Sil Silverstein is dead. Nice.

[Paige Weldon]

Quick, a fun fact about me. Shel Silverstein is dead.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The men will be lining up. You will have so many dates. All right, this is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no emails. People write into I saidnogifts gmail.com begging for answers. Will you help me answer a question?

[Paige Weldon]

I would love to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, let's see here. Okay. This says, dear Bridger and sparkling guests. That's a nice little thing about you. The Christmas gifts at my family's annual gathering have simply gotten out of control. My husband and I have two kids under 10 who are the only kids in the family. In the past, we've tried to institute a rule with my parents, brother and sister in law to not buy any presents for the adults and only buy for the kids if they want to. Okay. And I'm just going to stop right now. I see already two other things in parentheses, so. Or three. There's gonna be a lot of following here.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm creating a family tree in my mind.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. I mean, we all have to. Okay. However, the gift rules have evolved from no adult gifts, parentheses never happened. Okay. To one or two nominal things for the grownups, parentheses also never happened. To a dozen, often higher value items per adult, parenthesis always happens. So what does this mean? That we're always giving everybody a lot of. Of expensive items. Is that clear? These parentheses are not helping me. I want the writer to know.

[Paige Weldon]

Completely throwing me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Paige Weldon]

But basically, I guess what we're to understand is it used to be only gifts for the kids and now it's gotten out of control where people are buying for the adults.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Yet everyone continues to say, let's not do this. Yeah, okay. This in addition to the mountain of gifts the kids get, which is honestly way too much. We've tried again and again to get our family to not buy us anything, but it never seems to work. On top of this, we feel the pressure to buy them gifts since they are getting us lots of things in addition to spoiling our kids. Please help us de escalate this mutually assured destruction in form of rampant holiday consumerism. Thanks. And that's from Riz. Okay, so I again barely followed what was happening there. But basically what. What she is looking to do is not have as many gifts be given. Yeah. Am I correct in.

[Paige Weldon]

I think so. And I guess it seems like a semi large family.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, it's very small. I mean, well, I mean, actually whenever I say that it's a small family that's coming from a Mormon background.

[Paige Weldon]

Well, I guess as an only child who just goes to her parents for Christmas. Right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We're a lot of people. But I think this is a normal. It's a Husband, her two kids, parents, brother and sister in law.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. And that's their kids.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So essentially, there are only two children involved here.

[Paige Weldon]

Gosh. I mean, maybe is a secret Santa in order, you know, so to guarantee that each adult only gets one gift?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right, Right.

[Paige Weldon]

Because I imagine it's like, if you're only getting one gift for each person, then that still means each person has multiple gifts.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Paige Weldon]

And that's how it starts to get out of hand. But if we still want everyone to get a gift, we just assign.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That makes sense.

[Paige Weldon]

And then the kids should get a.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Bunch of gifts, get them a few things.

[Paige Weldon]

If the money's there, get them a bunch of gifts.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Those are greedy little freaks.

[Paige Weldon]

They love it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Get them something.

[Paige Weldon]

It's a Christmas morning. A kid on Christmas morning. It's an expression.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They'll take as much as they can get.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I feel like that works. I feel like another strategy if she wants to be a little bit more subtle, is get an expired, like, credit card, put it in her wallet, and then say, I want to take everyone out to dinner. And then she, you know, goes to pay, and it gets declined. Obviously, it's expired. And now everyone's like, oh, something's going on with Riz's financial situation. Maybe we shouldn't do gifts this year. And now the problem is solved just.

[Paige Weldon]

Through this little bit of trickery, making hints about.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. It's gone too far. It's ruined me financially.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm ruined.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. Yes.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. Well, there is it. Sorry, I'm just thinking about it is like, it. It's vulnerable to say, like, can we do less gifts? Because then inherently, everyone's gonna be like, right. Of course they don't have any money. Like, is everything okay? Like, But I also feel like, honestly, every. Every Christmas where someone has been the one to be like, let's not do a bunch of gifts. We still get a couple things each.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Paige Weldon]

And it's nice. But I think even just, like, putting out the vibe of, like, can we not do a ton this year? Does tamp that down a little bit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Paige Weldon]

And personally, I think most people would be relieved.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Or send an anonymous email so nobody knows who's having a financial problem.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. Just go full Grinch. Just fully, like, start sabotaging Christmas. Start now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Well, we answered Riz's question perfectly. Riz, don't write back in, please. Oh, Paige, I'm. I mean, what a gift you've given me. This is a top 10 top 10 gifts. Certainly. I'm gonna cherish it forever.

[Paige Weldon]

I'm so glad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And thank you to Natasha for her professionalism.

[Paige Weldon]

Seriously, dedication to the craft 100%.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I also have this beautiful thing to listen to. Yeah, Your new album, which I'm so excited about because you are terrific.

[Paige Weldon]

Thank you so much.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And everyone should go listen to it in whatever way they want, I suppose.

[Paige Weldon]

Yeah. You don't have to buy vinyl if you don't want to, but it's a.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Beautiful green, beautiful piece of green.

[Paige Weldon]

Limited edition.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me, listener. The podcast is over. I know that you thought this was gonna be the one that went on forever, but that'll be a different episode. Eventually we will get to the point when we don't stop recording and then you'll be trapped and you have to watch what you wish for because that will become your own little jail of having to listen to me. It'll be kind of your train to hell. So today we're just gonna say goodbye. I love you. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Anneliese Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Co. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Paige Weldon]

Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no gifts. Your presence is present enough. And I already had too much stuff, so how do you dare disobey me?